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Check out KICKO:
https://www.kicko.org/
michael@kicko.org
Purchase John's Book:
Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community
https://www.kicko.org/
michael@kicko.org
Purchase John's Book:
Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. Learn more at you can mentor.com or follow us on social media. You can mentor. Why hello there, mentor. We here at You Can Mentor hope to add as much value as we can to mentors and mentoring organizations through resources and relationships.
Speaker 1:We have a bunch of resources that we've created to support you, such as books, learning lab cohorts, conferences, and online downloadable resources. Our goal is for you to use these resources yourself or to share them with your volunteers. The best way to get access to all of these resources is to sign up for our once a week newsletter. To do that, head on over to our website, you can mentor.com, and give us your info. Thanks so much.
Speaker 1:And remember, you can mentor. Alright. Welcome to the You Can Mentor podcast. This is Zach, and I am here with my friend, Michael. Michael, say hello.
Speaker 2:Hey. Great to be on here today with you.
Speaker 1:Alright. So I met Michael Clark because me and my family were on vacation. I think we're in Nashville. Isn't that right?
Speaker 2:You we were pretty close when I when I ran into you.
Speaker 1:I was in Memphis. Yeah. Yeah. I was in Memphis area. I think.
Speaker 1:I don't know. But anyways, me and my family were on vacation. We were just kind of, you know, sitting there eating our nuggets. It was fantastic. And then in walks this just this group of kids.
Speaker 1:I mean, there had to be 38 y'all. And just I could tell I was like, this has youth group or something written all over it. And so I saw that, like, most of the adults had on a shirt and the shirt said the shirt said Knoxville inner city something or other. And so I walked up to this guy, and I was like, hey, man. Tell me what's going on.
Speaker 1:And that guy happened to be Michael Clark.
Speaker 2:Yeah. That was that was a funny conversation. It was I remember I had my one of my my own children with me because it's just so fun to be able to get to do ministry with your family. And, so, yeah, we had about 30 kiddos from our inner city children and youth ministry in Knoxville, and we were between leaving camp and getting them back home. And so we had stopped to feed them, and that's where, yeah, that's where we got to run into you and your family, and y'all were all together, sitting in a booth next to us, and I'm I'm just, like, sweating bullets over here.
Speaker 2:Like, oh, man. I hope we're not too loud and disrupting all these people, these nice people that are here. And that's usually the case. They always feel that way, but our kids are just living their best life as they were just loving some Chick Fil A on their way home.
Speaker 1:Oh, man. So so just because I'm super curious, what was going through your mind when a 6 8 dude comes up to you and is like, hey, man. I wanna talk to you. Like, tell me what was going through your head.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So it was it was out of the norm for sure that someone would walk up to us and be like, hey. I I would love to learn more about what you guys are doing. In fact, you know, I do this and would love to connect with you. And I was like, man, this is really cool.
Speaker 2:There's just no coincidence in the kingdom. There's always providence in in his involvement. And so I thought it was a a pretty sweet opportunity, and then to see you follow-up and say, hey. I'd love to I'd love to chat. Let's let's see what this would look like.
Speaker 2:And, of course, you're now full time with You Can Mentor. And I would say that, man, that is one of the things that we have leaned into probably more than anything else is just the relationship component of ministry. Because for us, that's that is where it's at. That's what that's what ministry is. It's the backbone of everything we do, and it's a lot of fun to be able to kinda maintain a model that is grassroots by design because it's just in the grid of relationships where we see transformation.
Speaker 2:And so I was like, this is really cool. I'm gonna I'm gonna get to know Zach and a little bit more about what he's doing and possibly connect with some people around the nation and beyond that are doing similar good kingdom work.
Speaker 1:That's awesome, Michael. Man, you're speaking my language because I'm all about relationships. Relationships change lives. So, man, tell me about Kikko. So I'm sitting here staring at your website, and it says the mission of Kikko is to transform our inner city by equipping and empowering its children to fully realize their potential and discover their God given destiny.
Speaker 1:So, man, just kinda for someone who hasn't ever heard about you, why don't you just kinda share who you are and what you guys are all about?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So Kicko, by design, is fairly unique to any other nonprofit even in our area. We are mobile, meaning we go to where the kids are, their communities where they live or where they play, where they're at after school. 30 years ago, like I said, 29, this will be our 29th Christmas that we're coming up on. And again, my parents started this organization, so I've kinda had a a sweet back seat for a long, long time to watch it kinda ebb and flow and grow.
Speaker 2:But we go back then in 29 years ago, inner city ministry was not sexy. It was not the thing to do. Everyone wasn't jumping on board. There was no movement of funding or anything that was happening that made it an appeal. In fact, even inner city, Knoxville, as small as we are, was pretty dangerous.
Speaker 2:It had its its high crime rates and its gang activity, and it was just not there was no gentrification. Nobody was looking to move in and to and to make it home. In fact, it was you drove around. And so when my my mom really felt a call to begin to work with the communities just down the street from us, specifically after her mission degree completing at a local bible college, and she went on an internship where she learned to do what we're now patterned after up in Brooklyn, New York. She worked with what was then Metro Ministries, now Metro World Child because they're global, not just local to the 5 borough boroughs of New York.
Speaker 2:But she learned how to do sidewalk Sunday school, which is essentially a mobile ministry to children and their families. And she learned how to do it in Spanish Harlem, didn't know a lick of Spanish, and had never taught a single children's curriculum before. And so it was like, God was just setting her up to to be a Moses of watch, I can use you too. You know, I can use your family to do something extraordinary if you'll just say yes. And I'm a firm believer that, honestly, the Lord had probably gone to some others with more talents, but they buried them, and they didn't respond.
Speaker 2:And I think that we were down the down the list, my parents were, and they were the first to really say yes to it. I really believe that. I can't prove it, but I believe that when we say yes, he then multiplies and takes from those who have and have not done anything with him and gives them to us. And so the the real bread and butter of what we began to do was to visit door to door every single person that lived in then what we call our housing developments, our projects, door to door every kid and their family. And so we would do that before any program that we did, and we still do it to this day.
Speaker 2:So 29 years later, visitation, that's what we call it, is still a key component of everything we do. That means every kid and their family is getting a a personal touch point, a personal invitation, and that's where the relationships are happening across the threshold of the doorway, on the stoop in the neighborhood, and that's where the relationship equity that has accumulated now over these almost 3 decades. We really get to reap the the benefits of. There's just something about that relational equity when we now have 2, even a third generation that has engaged with us. That is really, really sweet, and the relationships there, like, I I couldn't buy that.
Speaker 2:I can't incorporate that. I can't, you know, start that. That is just something that that comes with time, and it's because of relationships, just being consistent and faithful to be in neighborhoods and build relationships on their turf. Again, we're mobile by design. We really believe in that incarnational model that they don't need to leave their community or neighborhood to find out about Jesus or how to fulfill their calling and their gifts and and to and to walk that out, but that that can happen right where they live.
Speaker 2:And so that's what we get to do, and it's a lot a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:Man, that's amazing. So you guys are telling me that you go door to door in every community that you serve?
Speaker 2:So 29 years ago, and I would say for the first 15 years, it was a heavy concentration of where kids were located, and that was in their place of residence. That was the housing developments. That was some of our low income, apartment complexes. That has changed the last 10 to 15 years, and this is I'm answering your question in a roundabout way. So we do still go door to door visiting in all of our communities that we serve.
Speaker 2:Some of those now have turned into community schools. Some of those have turned into after school clubs or where they go to programming. And so maintaining that family relationship has has become a little more challenging just because we're not meeting the kids where they live because that's no longer where they're at after school, just because of how our culture has changed into serving kids differently, which I think is a a beautiful thing. They have a lot of opportunities now that they didn't nearly 3 decades ago, which is incredible. But so we've had to get real creative on how to continue to develop those relationships.
Speaker 2:So the yeah. Staff members out of our 5 teams are still spending an entire day or 2 in their week just building relationships with kiddos, just pastoring neighborhoods and communities and staff of clubs now. And so that's that still remains to be a crucial component of what we do. And, honestly, COVID did not detract from that. It magnified the need for it, if anything.
Speaker 1:Man, it is not good for man to be alone. Right? And I think what's so beautiful about Jesus is Jesus went out and pursued the 12. Right? Like, he he didn't post up, and he's like, hey, guys.
Speaker 1:I'm starting this ministry. And if you guys, you know, if you want to, then you can come along. No. No. No.
Speaker 1:He he he went and he he pursued them. He went to where they were, and he invited them into something. And I can only imagine, I bet whenever people in the neighborhoods, kids inside of the schools, when they see your van pull up or when they see adults walking down the halls, they're saying, oh, those are those guys from Keiko. Because you guys have been doing it for so long that it's like, oh, yeah, That guy's a police officer, that guy's a firefighter, and those people are Keiko. Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah. And, man, there is just a tremendous amount of power in that. Just kids and people knowing that you're gonna show up on a consistent basis, and if they ever need to to find support, they know where to find you.
Speaker 2:Yeah. That's it. And you're exactly right. You're hitting the nail on the head. I I still can relive experiences that as the bus was pulling up for the their bus stop in their neighborhood, you hear the kids from the bus still screaming Sunday school, Sunday school.
Speaker 2:You know, they're just they're stoked. They're excited. They know we're there. We love them. We care about them, and we're about to have a ton of fun and learn about God.
Speaker 2:And so those are just the key components. You're you're right. We gotta keep showing up, gotta be consistent. And that was one of the things that we were really challenged by early, early on. Before my parents even started the very first location, they met with the president of the tenants association of our housing authority.
Speaker 2:And she asked them she said, I love what you wanna do after hearing their pitch, so to speak. Mind you, they've not talked to the 1st kid. They've not had the 1st sidewalk Sunday school. And she said, I've just got 2 questions. She says, first of all, our kids don't know how to act when they go to church, and I get these, you know, phone calls an auntie and a grandma and a mom and saying, man, my kids never wanna go back to that church.
Speaker 2:They got picked up on the bus, and they made them sit in the corner. They told them they they were doing this wrong. And she said, what are you gonna do when kids are acting up? And my dad knew that if he didn't answer this question right, he wouldn't even get in question number 2. And so he spoke prophetically and just said, hey.
Speaker 2:We're gonna have a lot of volunteers there. Mind you, we didn't have our 1st volunteer yet. He said, we're gonna have, you know, arms around him and just keeping him engaged. He said, I've always noticed that when kids are seeking attention, it's just about what type of attention you give them, keeping them positively focused, positively engaged. And she said, okay.
Speaker 2:I like that. She said, my second question is this. A lot of people have tried things in our communities, and she said, honestly, we're tired of being experimented on. If this doesn't go the way you want it, the way you expect it, are you gonna just quit? And it just, it floored us.
Speaker 2:It floored us that that was such an indictment on the church that we've done a ton of drive by charity. We've done it on our terms. We've done it our ways, and really it was for us and not for the recipient, those we were serving. And so it it really challenged us. And my dad's response was this.
Speaker 2:He, she said, he said, listen, miss Muncie, if you say yes and allow us to come in, you're gonna have to chase us off. And she said, well, okay, well, I'm not gonna let and she was an African American lady, and she said, I'm not gonna let 2 crackers get shot on my dime. And so, you know, jokingly, she said, I'm gonna join you, and I'm gonna help you select the first two communities that you serve this 1995 Christmas. And sure enough, she walked through those 2 communities. One of them, she chose her own community of Lonsdale here in Knoxville.
Speaker 2:We're still serving there, And she chose Walter p Taylor Homes, which my parents were hoping she would choose because that was the closest to where they lived in East Knoxville. And so we're still serving in those communities. This will be our, like I said, 29th year serving where we first started. And so it's just a testament of you gotta keep showing up. You gotta be faithful.
Speaker 2:This isn't a trial and error experiment. Maybe we'll change what we do and how we do it, but not not gonna make people feel like they have a target on their back. Mentoring can't feel like a project that we're running. Mentoring can't feel like something we're gonna do until we find something better to do. Relationships have to be we're we're committed to this regardless of how it goes.
Speaker 2:The mess, the muck, the mire, we're gonna see it through because we know God is in in the stickuitiveness. He is in the faithfulness because that is him. That is who he is, and we we represent him.
Speaker 1:Man, so so talking about miss Muncy. Right? Anytime you go into a new community that you aren't a part of yet, right, and anytime you're crossing socioeconomic lines, you're crossing lines of race, lines of culture, I have found that there's always these gatekeepers. Right? And as I look here at some of your values, one is collaboration.
Speaker 1:So can you just kinda speak what does collaboration look like between you guys and the people that you serve? And just, 1, how did you build relationships with some of those people who, you know, introduced you to all of the families, introduced you to all of the kids, some of those gatekeepers? Yeah. And how how do you work together? Right?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So yeah. Those are great questions. I I would say we use the same verbiage that Jesus did by looking for those people of peace. They are the gatekeepers essentially, but they're the ones we also you can't go go into a a community with a gatekeeper who also doesn't want you there.
Speaker 2:So there's gotta be an invitation and a welcome. And if it is especially with those that hold the keys to the neighborhood or hold the keys to the school or the community, then your effectiveness is going to be multiplied, you know, that many times over. And so we've we've tried some where we had to force our way in, and boy did we regret regret that. And we we wanna go into communities we know we can sustain, both financially, but also manpower. And it's hard to keep volunteers and staff if you're in the wrong neighborhood and you shouldn't have been in there.
Speaker 2:You forced your way in. So those those gatekeepers become crucial on many different levels. But, yeah, just spending time there as they begin to introduce you. And sometimes those gatekeepers, when we're reaching children and kids and and then their parents, because for us, reaching kids is the doorway to the family. And when we begin to love kids and love them unconditionally, the parents begin to wonder, wow, man.
Speaker 2:You you care about my kids as much as I do, or you know? And and so it it raises curiosity that we could then build a relationship and love them too. And so sometimes the kids will be the the key leaders and the gatekeepers for other kids. The adults will be the gatekeepers and and key leaders to help introduce us to key families. When you develop those relationships through those visitation opportunities, those consistent moments that you build into your your regular pattern of of ministry in life weekly, not monthly, not quarterly, not serves, you know, serve Saturdays that are once a year, but regularly showing up and being, and being consistent.
Speaker 2:And so it's, it's fun. I think about some of the families from our very first communities that, you know, had my mom's back as a white female who's walking through a neighborhood that does not look like her, and she sticks out like a sore thumb, but they had her back like no one else. If anybody was gonna mess with her, well, they were gonna have to go through this gatekeeping family. And when I say gatekeeping family, this this these ladies ran the neighborhood. Grown men were scared of them.
Speaker 2:And we saw a number of reasons as to why on certain instances. And but what was really neat is they had a deep relationship with us. They had a deep relationship with our ministry and with our our team. And out of that came such amazing fruit. And as I mentioned, loving kids gives you an opportunity to love families.
Speaker 2:And there's this one particular Christmas since we're kinda coming up on that season where someone had gotten married late in life at the church that our family was attending and had a had a wedding shower, but had items that she didn't need because she already had them. And she donated all that to our organization. And we've learned over the years that you never say no to anything that someone wants to donate, even if you're not sure where it's supposed to go. But sure enough, as one of our staff members had been walking through that neighborhood and had had a family that wanted to sponsor some children and walked up to this gatekeeping family, Karen Middlebrook, and said, hey. And this is a public testimony that she has already shared, so I'm I'm sharing her name with permission.
Speaker 2:But Karen said, hey. I I I'm so appreciative that you want that you got my my kids signed up. But my my mom said to her, hey. I also want you to put something down for yourself. Write something down that you would like to have.
Speaker 2:I don't know that we'll have it, but just in case there's extra, you know, just write something down. Well, sure enough, all the kids' toys have been bought. The budget had been met for the the family that wanted to sponsor kids. But that lady who called us on a Christmas Eve with those items from her wedding shower was exactly item for item what Karen had written down. And when we showed up on Christmas Eve with those gifts wrapped up, she said to herself, she says, if God can provide for my family and even for me, then he can get help me get straightened up, get off of alcohol and back in church and serving him.
Speaker 2:And so when we went back that new year to get a thank you card for the folks that had donated those items and had sponsored those kids, one of the kids ran up to my mom and said, hey. My momma's getting married. My momma's getting married. And we were like, oh, no. What's what's going on?
Speaker 2:Because all 5 kids had the same parents, and she said, she's getting married to my daddy. And so they had truly been true to their word of, if, God, you can do this, then I'm gonna get my life straightened up. They had gotten back in church. She had decided that they were gonna do things God's way. They got married.
Speaker 2:My mom and dad got to present the wedding cake, and it was just a phenomenal story of showing up and being consistent in someone's life can lead to felt needs to watch God do miraculous things into a whole family transformation. And so now we've gotten the the opportunity to serve that family 3 generations. We have Karen's grandson right now in our youth program, and he's being discipled and mentored weekly with our youth team. And it's just incredible to see you don't know where relationships will lead. You just keep showing up, and you keep saying yes.
Speaker 1:Man, that's an incredible story. And and just the Lord just needs our yes. Right? Like, hey. Will you show up, and will you do what I'm asking you to do, and will you go talk to this person, and will you accept this donation, and will you right?
Speaker 1:And and just I mean, I think about who God has used in the Bible. Like, most every major character in the Bible, they weren't the they weren't the model citizen. Right? Like No. No.
Speaker 1:And so I love how God uses people like us, just people who have been able to say yes to advance his kingdom. Amen.
Speaker 2:That's it.
Speaker 1:That's great. That's a good story. Man, so so just if you don't mind, just give us the give us the 5,000 foot take on sidewalk. I wanna hear about that.
Speaker 2:Okay. Yeah. So sidewalk, again, is a a high energy, what we call fun filled, faith infused children's program that is mobile. It goes to the kids where they're at. And, again, a a day or 2 prior, they've received that personal touch from a staff member and volunteer through visitation.
Speaker 2:So the relationship component is is on the front end. And then this is the fun filled program that is the follow-up honestly to that relationship. So it We describe it as VBS on steroids. We follow curriculums each semester and teach different things that we feel like the kids really need to hear about from God's word. But we play, we play a ton of games, sing some songs, wear them out, send them down, and then teach a lesson.
Speaker 2:And usually, it has one point that we teach as many ways as we possibly can to drive that home. And then it has a call of action at the end for them to follow God's plan for their life in that in that key component, that key point that we're teaching. So it's a lot of fun. We like I said, we started with 2 locations. We've now grown to 5 teams in 16 different communities.
Speaker 2:Some of those not all urban. That's where we have have remained, but we've also seen that kids everywhere need caring adult relationships, need to be developed in their faith, need to have those those issues of hope addressed in their heart. And so even in our rural communities, they sometimes have less opportunity, less programming. And so but the same needs are there. Poverty is poverty.
Speaker 2:Lack is lack. And everybody needs an opportunity to to know Jesus and a caring adult who loves him too.
Speaker 1:And so if I am seeing this correctly, this is primarily for elementary school kids. Am I right?
Speaker 2:Side sidewalk is for elementary. And then as they grow up, we begin to recruit those older 4th 5th graders into what we call our junior staff, and they begin to help us run sidewalk in their own neighborhoods. And then as they are they're handed off from 5th grade to 6th grade into our youth program, which we collectively, from all the communities we serve, pick those that those kiddos up, and our middle school and high schoolers gather together each week for a time of family meal, some some group games, and then they have an opportunity to also dive into God's word and be discipled individually and and in groups. So it's an awesome opportunity to continue to develop them as young leaders, to follow our investment in them from elementary age all the way through high school. And one of the neatest things that we're doing now with our young leaders, we've developed a program for our high schoolers specifically called emerging leaders.
Speaker 2:This is where we actually have an opportunity to hire our high schoolers. We started 2 summers ago, so we've now completed 2 summers, but now they're being hired year round to run sidewalk, to teach lessons, to run the games, to be a key component of that. In the summers, they do it all. They write the lesson. We help them, but they write it.
Speaker 2:They they hear from God. They hear what they believe the kids in their neighborhood need to hear from the Lord, and then they implement everything. Now they've grown up seeing this program a gazillion times. So the songs are old hat. They know how to run the games, and we help facilitate that with them.
Speaker 2:But it gives us an opportunity to really create a pipeline of leaders in our communities and hopefully one day to to do what we're doing to we always say, hey. As a as a good leader, you should work yourself out of a job. But oftentimes, we just never have a real tangible way of doing that, and this has given us that that pipeline, that development opportunity for our young people to become the next generation to lead our organization. And so next year, I'm super, super excited. It'll be our 3rd year of emerging leaders, and one of our promises was we will pay you, but we'll also give you lifetime experiences, something you would never get to experience any other way.
Speaker 2:We have taken kids the last 2 years to the beach. Our kids were about we're in the mountains, so that's a big deal for them. They've never over half of them this year, even after 2 years of doing this, over half of them had never been to the beach. They'd never seen the ocean in the sand together. Next year, they're getting on a plane.
Speaker 2:They will be able to do sidewalk Sunday school overseas in support of local communities around the world. And so their their world that has been, pretty much the fenced in area where they live is going to expand tremendously as we see them as you read our mission statement early on, see them fulfilling their god given design, see them equipped and empowered to be everything god's god's called them to be.
Speaker 1:Man, that's I wanna join so I can go overseas. That just sounds fun.
Speaker 2:Join us.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Right? So you've got so first and foremost, you you go to where the people are. You pursue them. You invite them.
Speaker 1:Elementary age kids, you toss them toss them into sidewalk, and that is once a week. And then as they grow older, then they get entered into 4th 5th where they can help lead sidewalk. As they get even more old, they enter into youth, and then emerging leaders, giving them opportunities to continue to serve and continue to fulfill their potential. But you also said building relationships with the kids will give us a gateway to the parents. And I'm gonna assume that the 2 of us see this in the same light.
Speaker 1:Us being mentors is great, but if we can equip the family to truly be whole and healthy and to follow Jesus, that's best case. So talk to me about your family initiative. I I I just think that this is so essential. And specifically, your specifically, your course on course on parenting.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So this is something I'm really passionate about. A lot of youth serving organizations stay in the lane of serving children and youth, and parent engagement is not the bread and butter. It's not what we do. But as you said, what we realized years years ago as we were bringing kids back from camp or conferences, you could hear the kids just deflating as we were driving into their neighborhood.
Speaker 2:They were dreading going home, and we realized, wow, the investment we're making in young people isn't sustained in the environment where they're being raised. And that's how do we how do we how do we do something about that? And that's a tough nut to crack. Like, no lie. That's easier said than done.
Speaker 2:You've got dignity involved. You've got just a lot of things that you're like, man, if if someone invited me to a parenting class, I remember when I saw my my wife's Amazon wish list of some books on marriage, and I was offended. You know? Because I'm like, what's wrong with their marriage? You know?
Speaker 2:I'm already my own worst critic about my parenting, but the same thing. I mean, the the families we serve, they're they're so stretched. Single parent led by and large, about 80% of our kids are are led by single parent homes, and we're seeing that to be even 3rd generation, grandparent led at times. But they're already so stretched to make ends meet, working multiple jobs, just taxed. And so we began this initiative, beating the drum in our city essentially, saying we've gotta do something different if we want different outcomes.
Speaker 2:We have got to swim upstream. We've got to work intergenerationally. Not just even 2 generation, but 3 now is really what they're saying is needed. And so our parenting classes were how we began to do that. It's not the only way, but it's how we began to do that.
Speaker 2:And we wouldn't call them parenting classes because no one's coming, but we call it parent to parent. We call them parent cohorts, parent university, like all kinds of different things for each community. And it's really we invite parents to to come and share their experience as they learn from others and a key curriculum that we use. So my facilitator is phenomenal. She, you know, can facilitate a curriculum that is based off of evidence based the fortieth sets out of the Search Institute up in Chicago that every child needs to be successful.
Speaker 2:And so we just had a graduation 2 days ago on Monday, which was incredible. As we watched feedback from as we as we watched and heard the feedback from parents that had been impacted by this, one one parent said that not only has this changed my relationship with my child, but it's changed all my relationships. Well, another parent said, I I don't feel like what I'm going through is you is unique and challenging just in isolation, but I see that others are are in the same situations I am. Giving them that social equity that they have other parents they can connect with. We're all so busy that we oftentimes don't even have time to have good, healthy relationships that would help strengthen us, that would forget some of my, you know, parents going to church and being a part of a small group.
Speaker 2:Again, being mobile, how do I take this small group to them? How do I build it in their community and entice them because it's something that looks like it's for their kids, and then they realize, oh, man, it was just as much for me. And so that was our first step. We just had our 8th graduation. That's our 8th cohort that's gone through a semester long parenting class.
Speaker 2:What a celebration. But 2 weekends ago, we facilitated our very first relationship retreat. So we took couples, committed couples on an overnight getaway up to Gatlinburg, paid for through some funding that we were able to secure, and we were able to bring in through our partnership with the University of Tennessee, a family and marriage therapist that I actually go to church with, a wonderful, great big teddy bear of a man that facilitated and co facilitated with a PhD student at at UT, this curriculum where couples got 8 hours between Saturday Sunday, 4 modules each day of just relationship tips and tools. They locked in with their partner as they looked at each other and began to do speaker listener techniques, you know, of of how to communicate without, you know, raising the boiling point of their of their own situation. And it started with, like, arguments over Coke and Pepsi, Mac versus PC, Beach versus Mac.
Speaker 2:You know, you start with things that don't really matter just to practice the the the habits and techniques and and and implement them well, but then you start getting into personal things. And it was so amazing to see that we can dig a little bit deeper. We can help support our families in in a well orbed and and multifaceted way. And that we've already got our February retreat planning, so we're super excited to to be able to continue to offer this for our families. We believe it's crucial.
Speaker 2:If we're gonna see different results, we gotta do something different. And this supports everything we're doing with our youth is by making their family stronger and by that, making their community stronger.
Speaker 1:Man, everything gets better when mom and dad are healthy. And, I mean, being a single mom's no joke. I was raised by a single mom. And just any time that you can come alongside and support her as she's trying to lead, I mean, that is just that's a tremendous deal. So that's a sweet program, man.
Speaker 1:I wanna go to that too. I wanna go to everything.
Speaker 2:It was fun. So the folks out of Colorado Springs who wrote our parenting curriculum, they loved that we were taking this next step towards healthy relationships, and they've been exploring that for a while. And when I told her about it, she flew in from Colorado and attended the whole weekend with us, and she's like, we want this. We wanna do this. How do we implement this in the over 130 communities nationwide they're already doing parenting classes in?
Speaker 2:So, you know, I think we're always looking for that next step, and sometimes you just gotta strike and see what needs to be changed and try some things and tweak it. Not we're just not afraid to fail, and we believe our parents are worth everything that I would want for my own family.
Speaker 1:That's great. Man, so so I'm gonna kinda change lanes here a little bit, but, like, are you married?
Speaker 2:I have been married for 17 and a half years. Five kids.
Speaker 1:Five kids. Okay. Sweet. I'm also married. I got some kiddos.
Speaker 1:And earlier, the 2 of us were talking about, for better or worse, when you do full time ministry, especially if you are starting or expanding, it's just it just takes a toll. It is it is long hours. It is all encompassing, and oftentimes, your family your family sometimes has to pay the price for that. And I mean, as much as I hate to say that, like, I know that whenever I was starting my not for profit, I can go back and say, I wish I would've done some things better to help my wife and my kiddos. And so you said earlier that your parents, you know, they started this back in 1995.
Speaker 1:As a parent now and the experiences that, you know, you experienced as a kid, tell me what advice you would give people who run not for profits or people who serve, you know, just people who do full time ministry, people who mentor. What kind of advice would you give someone like that?
Speaker 2:Yeah. I think that's a great question. I watched being the youngest of 4 in my family, how my other siblings responded to my parents stepping into this kind of late in life. And so some of them had resentment towards Keiko. They resented it because it took time away from them spending as much time with the first grandkids.
Speaker 2:It's you know, I didn't experience that because at the time, I was still at home as they're getting married. You know, there's 12 years between me and my brother, 10 years between me and my older sister. So they there were some times that I know they they expressed resentment. And I think looking at that, I have a little bit different perspective. 1, I have a call to ministry, and I knew I knew that as a teenager, and so I had a different appreciation, and understood the sacrifice.
Speaker 2:But at the same time, I knew that it was really important to have healthy boundaries and to prioritize God and family before ministry. And so I can't say I've always done that well. In fact, you know, I'm very driven, very type a, just love to there's a little bit that is even unhealthy in my performance that reflects to my identity that I'm trying to prove something, and and I you know, that's something that I'm very aware of. And what's been so helpful is not only having really, really good communication with my spouse and staying connected to a healthy church and having my family in that, because that's another thing is when you're running a nonprofit, the church is still the answer. Even if it's a nonprofit, you feel like it's a Christian nonprofit.
Speaker 2:It's still the the body of Christ that is the answer for the world today. And so it's so so important for me to model that for my kids and to not only have great communication with my spouse, but to also not do ministry to my kids, but do it with my kids, to do it with my family. And so that was our model when at Kiko I stepped into, it was already born. But for fostering, when we stepped into the foster now adoptive world, that was something we waited till our oldest bio kids were at an age where they could communicate with us. We said yes in our heart years prior, but that was some wisdom we had received from other people.
Speaker 2:Do it with your kids, not to them. And so that was that's still crucial to this day. In any new initiatives, I know it takes a lot of effort to get them off the ground. We're in that right now with the relationship retreat. It takes a lot to build the rocket and to get it off the ground, and then it's you know, you can rest a little bit and you tweak and you just get people back on it.
Speaker 2:But there's always those seasons, and I have to be honest with myself with both my wife, the Lord, my therapist, my coach, you know, having multiple people that can speak into my life, even my board. If I have a real good healthy relationship with some of my board members, they know me well. They check-in, and I'm appreciative of those people because they hold me accountable to making sure my priority list is in check. And you usually can tell it hopefully, if you have enough self awareness, you can you can be aware as it's happening, you know, a few maybe you're a few weeks behind, you know, but you don't wanna be a few years behind. You know, you don't wanna be, you know, missing all the middle school.
Speaker 2:You are missing the entire high school, missing the opportunities to really invest deeply with your own kids. And so I hope that it's expanded my kids' capacity to be able to serve and love in in the ways God's called them to instead of called cause them to resent, cause them to never wanna be a part of. And and right now, we see that in them. They're doing it they they're wanting to be a part of the ministry. They're wanting to be a part of things at their church.
Speaker 2:They're wanting to be a part of those things. So that's a really good sign, you know, that we haven't ruined them yet. And so it is it's tough, though. It's tough in today's world to to to make sure we're not caught up in the rat race and dub it as ministry and sacrifice our family on the altar of ministry. That's that's a really tough thing to do.
Speaker 2:And I'm looking at right beside my desk as we're talking. I've got my rule of life. This is something that helps me. If I use it, what what are the things that I need to be doing daily, weekly, 3 times a week, monthly, yearly, those half day retreats that I need to do every month? Well, I have to schedule them.
Speaker 2:I know myself. Making sure that I'm dating my wife weekly, that I'm spending time with my kid. You know, all those things. I have to put those on my rule of life, and they have to be something that I I reflect in my schedule to make sure it happens. So
Speaker 1:Man, I I think anytime you're doing ministry and anytime that you have said yes to what the Lord has asked, you know, or given you the opportunity to do, anytime that you're intentionally trying to advance the kingdom, it's like putting a target on your back. And the the enemy is gonna try to do whatever he has to do to stop that, and he knows that if he can take you out, he knows if he can take your marriage out, he knows if he can take out your kids, then it's not only gonna impact those people, but it's just gonna have a massive effect. And so, man, I Yeah. I just totally hear you on that. Like, we have to keep the main things the main things, which is our own faith, our own spiritual walk.
Speaker 1:If our, you know, our spouses, our community, our kiddos, we can't give what we don't have. And self care
Speaker 2:right.
Speaker 1:Self care is not selfish. And so we we have to ensure that we are putting ourselves in the best spot to be our best selves so that we can serve and look like Jesus whenever we choose to do that. So
Speaker 2:Yeah. So true. Right now, I'm seeing some key leaders in some circles that we had run-in as young people that are you know, some things are coming out of the closet. It's really it's really sad. And the very day that I heard about it, my devotions for that day were Paul writing to the Corinthian church about being careful after you have run your race, that even after preaching to others, you don't disqualify yourself.
Speaker 2:And it's such it's such a warning that we all need to hear, and it means, man, as as an organization that's constantly pouring out loving our neighbor, we have to keep commandment 1 commandment 1, which is loving God first. And loving our neighbor has to flow out of that. I can't get caught up in a in a a gospel that is only focused on making a social difference and and and about making justice, you know, a reality on earth, but also making God famous because I'm I'm deeply in love with him and exalting his name everywhere I go because that's really what it comes down to, enjoying God and being able to experience him here on earth as I will forever. And so, yep, you're right. Gotta keep the main thing the main thing.
Speaker 2:Yesterday, we had a staff retreat because of this very thing. We we have at least 2 a year, and it was a day of silence and solitude that we had a spiritual director come and lead for us. Right here in Knoxville, we found a a little place to go and facilitate a time of worship, and then it was, alright, time to go and spend some time with Jesus, reflect what is he saying to you because we've gotta be filled up. We've gotta be kinda doing the work that God's called us to do from the overflow and not from depletion. We'll have nothing to give, as you said.
Speaker 1:Man, that's good stuff. I just can't help but but think about, I mean, us as us as people, me specifically, I, and this this kinda hurts to say, but I kinda love it when people tell me how awesome I am.
Speaker 2:And True. We all do.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And I am just like, man, it feels so good to get the glory. Like, give me more glory. But, man, the glory is God's. And in in everything we do, if we exalt his name, if we stay humble, and if we give him all of what is due to him, you know, if we give him all the praise and all of the glory, that is the only way that it's the only way that ministries like ours will make it, man.
Speaker 1:And so Yeah. Yep. Cool, dude. I got one more question. If there's a person out there who is thinking about mentoring a kiddo, specifically a kid who comes from a hard place, what one piece of wisdom would you give them before they do that?
Speaker 2:Count the cost. Know what you're going into. Be willing to build that relationship not just for the short time, but for the long haul. You gotta count the cost, and I think that's what we've shared a little bit here during that our conversation is we put our hand to the plow and we don't look back, and it's gotta be that way in any type of ministry, especially relational ministry. Because if the if it's kids coming from tough places, they've already had a lot of ins and outs in their life.
Speaker 2:There's been tons of people that have been transitory, including where they live and boyfriends or girlfriend, whatever it may be. They need to see the faithfulness of God, so count the cost and represent him well.
Speaker 1:That's awesome, man. Guys. This organization, Knoxville Inner City Kids Outreach, AKA Kikko, they're doing some amazing things. Go over to their website and check out everything that they're up to. Man, 2 of us didn't even talk about camp.
Speaker 1:We didn't talk about community community chaplain corps. I mean, there's there's a ton that you guys are doing that maybe a nonprofit can look at and say, that looks interesting. Perhaps I could do that in my own community. If people wanna get a hold of you, tell me how they can do that, Michael.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Absolutely. I would send them through our website, kicco.org. Of course, they can go through our Instagram and Facebook, which is also kiccoorg, k I c k o o r g. And they can get connected to us, send us a message, DM us, whatever they want.
Speaker 2:If they email us through the website or it's got all of our staff emails on there, but if they go directly through that or call us, man, they'll get a hold of me. So we would love to be able to walk with anyone who's looking at exploring new opportunities opportunities in their own community, and just wanna see the kingdom of God come to earth right where they're at. We'd we'd love to support others in it. And, we don't have the market cornered. We don't think we've got all the greatest ideas.
Speaker 2:We we love to steal other people's great ideas too because it's all about doing the work together, like you said, collaborating. Man, we've got a lot to learn from each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah. That's great, man. Thanks a lot for your time.
Speaker 2:And Thank you, Zach.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Of course. And if you're tuned into this podcast, remember, you can mentor.