Reaching The Summit

The dragon attacks, but the party stands before a cave oozing malevolent energy. Will they press deeper into its rotting heart, or turn back as the darkness stirs?

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?

Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com

Who is the first person that Rohua interviews on his podcast?
Tree Razor.
He's just sitting and spending like six turns buffing and then he's gonna nuke us from orbit.
He's just a goblin with caters felled in the bushes behind me.
It's a hobgoblin, f*** you.
How can I be frightful if I'm paralyzed?
I would quite like to go to Brazil.
Whoa!
You know what else we can do for you right now?
Another exciting episode of Rock Grind!
Welcome back, everyone, to another exciting episode of Rock Grind,
where you can always support us at narrativedeclaration.com
and find all of our amazing...
Also, remember, everyone, you get a hero point at the start of your thing,
put it on your sheet, so it reflects on the thingy.
And also, get rid of your debuffs, everything else.
We are all fully rested.
Except my blindness.
Because...
That is true.
Unfortunately, we got caught unawares last episode,
where we tried to rush forth to save Oren's mother
from the seeping rot that she was holding at bay.
But as soon as we can...
I rushed up to her two praetons.
Is it praetons or peritons?
Peritons.
Two peritons were flying about and then attacked us.
And so we had to viciously put them down,
as they nearly put one of us down, nearly killed Baldrick.
But it was a fun encounter.
It got better.
Very challenging.
Oren was running around healing everybody.
But of course, Oren's mother was eventually saved.
The peritons were banished.
And we then found out that they were just protecting her.
She was holding the rot back.
Saved is a bad term to use there.
I was like, oh yeah, I said the wrong vocabulary.
They're going to hate me now.
We did it.
We saved the forest.
We saved the rot, everybody.
Big claps, big claps.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Campaign over.
Yay.
We saved it.
Good job, everybody.
It's all purified.
It's now jello.
But of course, we then, after having a...
being reunited with his mother, who is not dead,
they then spawned Pickturn, Squelchfoot's old camp,
old cabin,
and took a good sleep at the night as Oren's mom
made them a fantastical feast,
which is basically turning worms into delicious food.
Which I remember that part.
And Baldrick is blind, has retreated.
Everybody else was checking up on each other else.
Oren is glancing.
Ah, that his mother's okay.
Everyone is safe.
And Thurston, I think we have to hunt a dragon.
I believe that is where we left off.
Yes.
In the morning of the following day, Oren,
your mother greets you all in front of the cozy cabin.
You have a moment where she sort of looks over each and every one of you,
nodding in turn.
Um.
With deep respect to you, Oren,
she looks into your eyes and says,
I believe in you.
You can do this.
Just climb to the mountain,
enter the cave,
and you'll know what's right to do.
And she puts a hand on your shoulder,
smiles,
and then she looks over to the rest of the party
and kind of sucks in a bit of a breath before speaking.
And just be sure,
to look after my boy.
We always do.
Mom's, uh, Oren's looking up with big pee-pee eyes.
You know, like, as he blinks.
And pee-pee eyes.
Yeah, pee-pee eyes.
That means his, his eyes are pee-pee-ing.
Go check out.
I thought you meant like the little plushie, like the pee-pees.
Yeah, yeah, like, he's looking out with big white eyes.
Oh, that pee-pee.
Uh.
Yes.
Also, remember, for all your character sheets,
the book, like, it's like World of Warcraft,
top right of Foundry, you might want to right-click those
and get all those off.
Oh, yeah.
Because I see some of you with like every condition in the world.
I'm not allowed to decrease the condition.
Yeah, I also cannot change the condition.
Oh, are you not able to just right-click it?
No, it doesn't, it doesn't let me.
Huh.
Nah.
Uh, when we're out of combat, it doesn't show up for us.
Oh, okay, well, in your character sheets,
there should be an effect tab and then you actually can do it there.
I'm purging, I'm purging, I'm purging.
Okay, thank you.
Every day I wake up prone, sickened four times over.
Sorry, I'm tired.
I'm tired.
Maybe.
Oh, I see it, I see it now.
But my spindle be probably white.
You got it, you got it.
I see it.
Take it off, take it off, Vena, take it off.
Sorry, the producetism got ahead of me and I looked over the overlay.
I'm like, we're your boss.
Wait, did you say the producetism?
Yeah, yeah.
The producetism.
Is that your new term for it?
Yes.
The proctism.
The biggest, we did a feedback form.
Okay.
We did a feedback form a while ago.
And a lot of people's criticism was like, hey, you seem kind of distant or like, hey,
you're being producer a bit too much and stuff.
Which I 100% absolutely true.
I don't disagree.
But apparently that's my thing.
I'm doing my best.
I apologize.
He's got a chronic case of producer.
I just think producetism is like the best term we've come up with on this show.
It's like, only to mention it because it's silly to me.
I think I shared you a link, Thurston.
There's this one YouTuber I saw who, because I've been thinking of getting the actual diagnosis
for autism for a while, a little bit.
Because I was like, oh, maybe I need to spend the money.
It's been more and more reinforced as of late.
And that was the kicker because I kept going through all their stuff.
I'm like, oh, I do all of that.
I do all of that.
I do every one of them.
And I was like, I'm glad that we can help you on your journey.
And from two therapists so far, they've done tests with me.
And they're like, yeah.
I'm like, okay.
All right.
I'll go get it figured out, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
So they distract us from the thing.
All right.
Sorry.
We're playing a game.
Orin's looking up at his mom all sad and everything with tears in his eyes.
And he kind of gives her a hug.
Is it?
And he's basically like, are you going to be okay, mom?
Like, the rot's still, well, it's my fault.
But the rot's still about.
Are you going to be able to make it okay?
Are you okay enough to do so?
You've made a path.
I'll be good for any of the things that come about in the forest.
Oh, good.
I hope you find it, mom.
I will.
Now, you and your friends go on up.
Orin looks at the camera.
She didn't follow the bit.
No.
No, she didn't.
Well, there's nothing else.
What do you want me to find, Orin?
The path.
There you go.
There you go.
One sec.
One sec.
Nope.
Still can't right click and kick someone from the Discord servers.
Don't do that.
She could turn any threat out there into a tug bird.
I think she'll be all right.
Yeah, that's right.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, Orin.
Sorry, OK.
Sorry, Dad just had this fucking visage of like an army of rotten tug birds.
I know.
I know.
Oh my god.
Rawr.
Rawr.
Rawr.
Rawr.
Rawr.
It's like the worst squelching sound.
Tug birds will haunt the living.
Yeah, but he lets go of
his mother, and waves her goodbye, and will say like,
I won't let you down mom
oh yeah yeah yeah
and so with that she nods
she leaves the rest of you
grabs up her pack
and her you know walking stick
and she makes her way away
leaving you
at the base
of the mountain of Berg's fingers
to make the ascent
I need one of you
to check in on something here by the way
yeah
yes
I can't see anything
yes you can I faced you last night
Thurston can I
retroactively have spent my spell slot
for cleanse affliction before we
reset our character sheets
I was like
wait a second I was supposed to do
the last session but then we ended
yeah but
I think Baldrick
very intentionally said he
wasn't like worrying anyone
until you woke up
yeah I said that specifically
and he was going to go to bed
and ask about it in the morning
but please by all means destroy my own
destroy my own roleplay
take it from me
you want my blood too
you know what
no I want you to have
your roleplay
Thurston
who is just mentally ill
he absolutely didn't
fix
Baldrick last night and he is still blind
thank you
I also assume that you prepared your spell slots
and now you don't have it prepared right
oh I still have it but now I'm not going to take it away from you
oh thank god
he can be blind
okay well let's roleplay this out
look I'm not a fucking referee
roleplay this scene
oh
you're blind
yeah
have been since I ate dirt
yesterday after those things
did some kind of explosive
spell
oh I thought you
see before you said this spell
I thought you were going to say you went blind after you
ate the dirt that Borin gave you
or in a like expert like Excel's hair
like oh god
oh god
you're so worried
here I was thinking that he prepared
the 24 hour blinding dirt
no
been blind since I went down
in the fight yesterday
oh it's terrible
if you would have said something I could have just taken that
away from you like
why didn't you say anything last night
I was trying to say something this morning
but we were kind of hurriedly getting out of
the cabin didn't feel like a good
time to bring it up
hmm
friends before
I you know
waves his hands around
do my thing do any of you
have something that's not a spell slot
we can use to fix him
just to
clarify you're not going
to explode him no
he's not my minion nor is he small and
pathetic like you know once
yeah that is what people are always
saying about me
all the time I have
very good hearing so if someone tries
to put their hands anywhere close to my eyes to try
and pluck them out I'm going to explode
you and me and everyone else here
we're not going to do that
Baldrick will tilt
his head towards Rahua because he can't
look at him
nobody no takers
Orin you don't have
unblinding dirt by any chance
uh
he opens up his character sheet
uh
my staff has cleans up collection
rank two so it doesn't
that doesn't even do anything
uh
Spence Hero point over now has one unblinding
dirt
it's pocket sand but in
reverse
it just pulls it away
free sand
can you say pocket sand backwards
what is
pocket sand backwards
let's find out
all right
if I presented the session on
determining how to bounce pocket sand backwards
yes
yup
oh yeah
I'm just not
I'm just allocating the time now
so I can get with my tax consultant
about it of course of course
yeah we're having
a good time it's fun banter we love it
see chat I know chat loves her buttons
banter I'm not I'm just trying
not to spell a spell slot I'm a cheap
bitch are you kidding me
yes you would pronounce it as
nasp sub pocket snick up
tech up excuse me
nas tick up
perfect
the only thing you like is going to come back
in style
in terms of removing your blindness
is potentially
with my blessed archetype
to where I don't
think
blind blind blind
dog that responds to the word
blessed I see it
in no way oh my god it
does
I see in no
way on how it can
yeah it can't click
unless I can do first aid
or something
or treat condition treat condition would
probably be the closest I got
I don't know
see if it does blindness if a creature has a multiple
conditions from the list or
reduced the clumsy and feeble are sick and conditioned
nope damn
I can only make you feel better if you're
clumsy sick or feeble if you
have lost all eyesight I'm sorry you
need to find a church
you need to find doctor
gotta find God find God
thank you
wait wait wait no I have it I have it
mercy of body blinded
alright well there
you go yay
merciful he just touches you
I lay on hands you
you a paladin
no I'm
blessed he just like stuck in you
hashtag blessed
he's like oh don't worry
Mr. Baldrick I can help you out
he picks up a whole like handful of
mud and he kind of
like puts it in Baldrick's hand and he can feel
the little worms inside like
put that in your eyes the worms
will find the sickness inside
I'm just letting it hang I'm just letting it hang
why aren't you letting the worms
find the sickness inside
what's wrong with you
put the worms in your eyes do it
he made those worms special for you
he made them from the ground
Baldrick puts his hand those are his
babies he takes his
hand containing the mud and the worms
under his helmet
the end can't come soon enough
he begins wiping the worms
and dirt into his eyes
you're
you're now healed
you can see as they eat
away the corruption and
I don't know go
where I blindness eating
worms go
they eat the corruption slither
out of your slots of your eyes
and then they like in front of you
wither into little charcoal sticks
little flowers
little flowers
and then the ashes of them fall to the ground
and bloom into a flower
excellent perfect
narrative declaration they'd actually
turn into lichen
okay no wolves
you don't get to take that from me
mark the man down a
hero point
you fuckers
Thurston's entering his evil arc
we can't ever he's a genie now
do you guys want me to make
Thurston mad as recompense
I already know you don't
you you don't need to ask that
you know you know you're going to
anyway as as this occurs
Tannhauser is going to thoughtfully
look up the mountain
uh
Orin yeah
how big would you say
this mountain is
give me a second why am I asking you
no no no no no no
too late you blew it
give me a second
I
one moment
you're the biggest of the universe
one moment
I'm getting information
it's been two
oh it's about seven thousand
five hundred and twenty meters high
oh
man you know what would have
really been able to help us climb
a seven thousand meter high
mountain a grappling
hook yeah
or a climbers kit
Orin airship
uh listen
children
I have a question
do we know for certain
where the dragon's lair is
Thurston
yes can I recall knowledge
to see the flight path of the dragon
to get a good estimate of where the dragon would be
um
I mean yes
you can give me a
survival check is what I want here
excellent
go to my
thing and click survival
uh that is a
ten on the die for a total of
thirty one
okay um so that's enough for you to know
it's somewhere in the mountain um
probably along the higher peaks it's
resting somewhere around you know
where the cave that you have to go
is
I think I got a good estimate Mr. Tannhauser
it's like if we go up that if we go up
this way you can see up the waterfall
that way if you take this path
and then there should be at least
some there if I remember right there should be a
spiral path upward
all right so we need to go
above a waterfall
can I see a waterfall from the ground
uh the waterfall that Zoran
just decided was there yes absolutely
excellent yeah you prepared for the waterfall
right we have a waterfall map
yeah hundred percent okay good good good
all right
give me twenty minutes
Tannhauser's gonna take ten minutes
I'm going to
replace
grasp of the deep
with teleport
then
I will spend
ten minutes
casting
teleport
uh huh
I'm going to
shut the hell up Bina
all right you understand
how much I've been preparing to fight this
dragon what rank
is this by the way is it sixth sixth
this is a sixth rank spell
okay cool cool cool cool
is there just a goblin with counterspell
in the bushes behind me
oh yeah the counterspell
goblin in the mountains
it's a hobgoblin fuck you
a bush
I'm making myself laugh
I'm sorry okay that means you're
having a good time how dare you have fun speaker
I know that's fucked up why would you do that
the point sorry please don't hurt me if you're not
laughing and having a good time
then why are you here you know
everyone hold hands
Orin grabs Baldrick's
hand and Rahua's hand
Baldrick will grab
Vina's and whatever
Orin's already got
your other hand Rahua will grab
Tannhauser's hand
I'm losing track of hands
I'll grab um
Baldrick and Tannhauser
you can always cheat by saying you complete the link
is that true
I would also accept
like Guardians of the Galaxy
style someone's hand goes out to
Globtalk's hand
laughing
you mean Globtalk
desiccated corpse
the mummified remains
Globtalk help
laughing
nobody came to help
nobody came to help Globtalk
remains of Globtalk
shortly we'll forget
somebody made all that
I want to propose something different
Orin kind of sees
what Tannhauser is doing he's like
alright everyone hands in
and he kind of puts a hand in for everyone to kind of
put their hands in like over
Tannhauser's hand because of the technicality
you went up before targets touched
laughing so he needs to
you know do that
that's true
come on everyone hands in
Tannhauser will put his hand in
yep Baldrick puts his hand in
he puts his hand in
alright
keep going
by the power of the left
by the
corridors of time
bring forth this power
for movement and mind
I cast the spell
disintegrate
just kidding
and I'm going to cast teleport
laughing
up to the waterfall
that Thurston has prepared for us
yeah totally one sec
it's like
to help I said
there was a waterfall as a
landmark and then we have to go past it
and around and things like that so
it can be wherever
Thurston wants it looks like we're cast in
teleport twice also I want
I want Orin to only
hear that you actually said disintegrate
and as his body begins to disappear from
teleport he's freaking out he's like
laughing
laughing
uh
the hobgoblin general fails to
counterspell you so
what was he doing here
hobgoblin around
man
we'll be seeing him in 10 minutes when he
teleports behind us
laughing
he's hobbing on his goblin
I don't know
he's gobbling his gob
that's scary
I don't like this um the
Tannhauser describe what the
um the sensation of
returning to reality from a Tannhauser
teleport is like
um it's like a quick moment
full it's like a thunder crack
it's like all of a sudden you're surrounded
by scintillating glowing blue
energy it just consumes
and whops around you
briefly you feel the momentum and the movement
of having every cell in your body
teleported all at once like
moving individually
your atoms scattering and then
recombining um
and then all of a sudden you're back and there's like no
momentum lost and you feel like you should have been
going at like 500 miles per hour
but actually you're like
stood still exactly where you're
supposed to be in a big flash of light
so you cast motion sickness
it
feels like you should have motion sickness but you
don't when you get there
ugh
okay
like a dobblr effect
the screen's gonna be like
he's tapping himself a bit
he's tapping himself a bit
he's tapping himself a bit
he looks at Tannhauser and he's like
uh but but Mr. Tannhauser
um uh but
but if we teleported then
it's it's are we here here
is is us here what did you just
destroy us there and made new us
new of us here oh fuck
we're Thomas Riker conversationing
alright guys you got this
for five minutes I'm going to the bathroom
wait wait wait wait wait wait wait I need you
back I need you back I wait wait I need you
back there's the don't go to the bathroom hold on
are you still here please yeah yeah
hold it yeah for sure
I'm holding it we need every advantage
that we can against this dragon
which is what's going to make this so
painful it's you don't get duplicates
I spend oh I spend a
hero point to make evil Thomas Riker
fuck him
actually no you know what
fuck that mark him down the hero point
now discuss the biometrics
the biometric wait what
like how tall he is now do you know
do you know the discussion of teleportation
or like whenever uh
people beam in Star Trek to where
it's that theory of like did you actually
just kill that person and made a
new person there oh yeah
no 100% yeah no in Star
Trek yeah every time you teleport you die
I think I think that's
pretty objectively true no
it's not
what utopia would create a
machine that instantly kills someone and creates
a new clone of them that's not a utopian
ideal people who don't know better
uh well they don't that's not
Star Trek's fault it's just the
scientific principle that it applies
because I don't think they thought that
through until after they explained it they're
like wait hold on a second technically it does
kill you I think in one episode it was a
new discovery that creatures
lived like in that
kind of like space where they would
transition all the atoms and everything there's creatures
there it would be it is from a story
perspective it is thoroughly unsatisfying
and therefore I deny you power
I I agree that in the
story of Star Trek and in the canon of Star Trek
you should not treat them as if they died
but if you made that exact
Star Trek technology in real life
every single time you teleported yeah you would absolutely
die that's a good thing we don't have
Pelletort however here's here's
another thing by that same token
um uh I'm very sorry
uh Erndil you
know how when you were trying to ask me that
question about teleportation earlier
yeah the you from there is dead
as is the you that is going to hear this in one
second that's
because all consciousness is is momentarily
uh momentary flashes
of electro electricity throughout your biochemistry
which means that technically
if you want to experience what it feels like to be
dead just wait a second and the
person that you were a second ago is already
dead speaker I need you
to abstract this I punch you in the face
oh the me that's going
to get punched in the face is really gonna hurt before
they die but there's always the theory that
once you punch someone in the face it's
not you always touching them there's always that layer
of air and electricity
stuff or whatever because the atoms don't fully touch
and so
doesn't apply to me punching
he is
not liquid nitrogen and my hand
is not going into him he is
a being of flesh like you and I
I am punching him and now I'm
gonna make it a bruise
I you don't want to punch me all right because
Zoran might get upset whenever Zoran
punches it's a thunder punch yeah
but I have the thunder cross split
attack courtesy of Dyer oh that's an
unbeatable attack I can't that's right
and even if you kill me my head's gonna
fall into a bucket of roses and I'm gonna shoot
one into your eye
I can't tolerate this
I don't want to make people
that's a deep
fucking cut Zoran
that's a deep
fucking cut you
monster
hey um
Thurston
making evil Orin
sounds like it would
waste a lot of our time
can I retract that attempt to make
evil Orin oh no
that was that was like
you know how you were just talking about how the
past you is dead but it was the past you
that made that decision so we're sticking
to that past you decision
cause that past me died wanting
that so I should honor that yeah exactly
he died for that
for that narrative declaration you're right
you know what fair enough so with that law
of logic since now speaker's
playing a new character he should start with a
hero plan cause now he's just now playing the same character
well technically since we all just died
we should be level one
because I mean we could start at our current level
does experience not go through a
teleport
okay first of all
first of all that is
the best fucking idea
for a starfinder adventure I've ever
fucking heard is like
you market it you market
the adventure is a 15th level
fucking high level adventure
the first fucking encounter is a
transporter mishap and it's secretly
we've like sold a level one
through five adventure
that would be really good write that down you're welcome Thurston
check is presumably
in the mail to me for me
for me who created the circumstance
I'm grabbing the reins
I'm grabbing the reins
we have now
been teleported up onto the mountain
itself we've all come out
to the other end all intact
I hope Thurston
we have arrived
how's it going up here
all right
so you find yourself on
what is clearly a winding
path atop a snow capped
mountain there are
rocky outcroppings
that sort of jut
out there are
freestanding trees and
rock debris couple
of trees that have collapsed over under
the weight of snow there's a path
that seems to
wind within the snow as well
there's also just a light amount of snow that's
falling from kind of a hazy
overcast
hundreds maybe
thousands of feet below you can
see distant tree lines and
like a far stream away
as you're sort of going along this
curving path
that's
where you teleport into
or turns around
and goes
okay guys
this is it
we're gonna find this thing
we're gonna take it down
get the stuff and save the world
that's right
I need ten more minutes
but for what
we're not
teleporting anywhere else today
I'm gonna touch my quantum engine
regain my teleport spell slot
and then I'm gonna exchange it back for
the gasp of the deep
okay
okay so one of the things
everyone like
like we gotta come up with a plan
I was like I'll do my best to try
to keep everyone healthy and if needs
be I too could turn into a
dragon and start tossing with it but
I don't think I'm that good
of a fighter so
we need someone to hold its attention the best we
can
Baldrick turns to Rahua
oh
we're throwing Rahua into that one
well he is the
sturdiest of us all
he's the sturdiest he draws the most attention
he's also not
you know
he's got armor
I'm usually the one
kind of in things faces
although I definitely appreciate
that is true that is true and I would rather
not be hit
yeah Miss Veena could be the one to always try to keep it off
balance like go after its legs
and its flanks and constantly try
to like distract it and make it move all the time
so it can't be consistent
it is also a matter of trying
to keep it on the ground uh
both Rahua and I can fly
but not as fast as that thing
well that's why we
he looks up at Mr. Tannhauser
beaming so fucking
proud about what he's about to say
that's why we have a wizard
that is true
I've compared two earthbind spells
for just that possibility
however dragons
are fearsome foes
it is quite likely that we'll be able to
shrug off those effects
Baldrick is going to chime in at this point
do we know what kind of
dragon this is
a rotten dragon we saw its breath weapon
there's no elemental advantage
that I can siphon at least right now
Thurston I have an inquiry
yeah
would Baldrick's collegiate
understanding of rot and the
effect it has on creatures
uh would a dragon that is
nominally resistant
to say something like
fire still
retain fire resistance while rotten
um it depends
because the rot is a very like
it's a very very mutable
substance however you've
had experience with
this particular dragon
uh the biggest thing you you noted
is that there was a
a weakness
to moss
um but there did not appear
to be much in terms of resistance
to fire
okay because that's the only
other thing that I have that is
remotely usable against rot is
the fire and the other spells the other
bombs I have and because my moss bomb
is regrettably not up to
spec because that one is pretty
slow comparatively
to help with that uh Orin
begins to be like everyone give me your
weapons that you have or
the ones you can use
and Orin will begin to cast mossy
weapon on them all
I will refuse mine
yeah you don't want to do that
I will
refuse it I have made an oath
to the powers of this land
never to use my hands again
to kill I believe
that even in this case
to allow you to enchant my staff
would be a violation
of that of course
Mr. Tannhauser
now as we've all discussed using a
pseudo pod is a completely different
situation that's the
only situation I grant but yes
yes yes the gods are
accepting this loophole apparently
it's not a loop I tried to chop off my
hand Balric!
it's a loophole except I'll get you
I'll get you
uh quick thing
for Thurston does Tannhauser
get his hero point back
fine okay
but evil Orin's still out there
he has a goatee
yeah is he watching us mysteriously well if he's
watching us mysteriously from the clips
oh it's not even mysteriously
he's just really
obvious every time there's like a picture
of us there's just him fucking mad
what are you talking about
he has a head start on getting back to Orin's
mom and dad
oh that's the evil
GM in me right there
um
so Orin
okay well
Orgrimangr still doesn't want to
well
what I could do is help protect everyone the best I
can and try to
try to cast some spells to help out and
one thing we could do is if you ever need a
rest or something that I can
at least cast regenerate on one
of you and then I can
potentially cast uh
cloak of light so whoever's near me keeps getting
healed so so for you
Mr. Baldrick I might need to stay with you if I
see you keep keep getting hit or not
so you can just
try to avoid being seen
uh Orin will nod
he goes like he's like I think
that'll be super useful Mr. Baldrick
because well
you have the strongest potions I've ever
seen and
with how much it really has been melting people I
think you're gonna be really useful here
mm-hmm
so
remember everyone
if tangled dragons don't fight in
their own turf because we do fly
up there and fight that dragon
we have to consider also falling
so if you're gonna go up prepare
to come down I'm able to
sustain myself but
for all of you Mr. Tannhauser
do you have anything
to help people fall down softly
I've prepared
myself a gentle
landing spell and
beyond that a jump and
gust of wind so perhaps
if you are falling I will be able
to catch you or at least direct you
oh sorry I have to
burp there for a second do you mind oh since your nan
is falling out here he puts him back in
oh thank you guys
I'll grab him and put him in my
hose uh
I can use gentle landing
to stymie your fall I
can also if necessary use
one of my earthbind spells upon
you try to
avoid falling off the mountain
though that that would be
very good yeah we want to
limit its movement as much as we can
so any way that you can
get it you know cozy in
somewhere anything with the terrain
also keep yourself in cover
if we can get it
I mean if we can keep it in the cave but
I don't think we have anything to really keep it in the cave
if we can get it
on the ground I can hopefully
create a wall
stop it from killing us or getting
out and once those walls are made
I can make hell on earth for it
if you think you can Mr.
Tannhauser but I wouldn't bank
on it it's a pretty big
dragon well
it'd be stuck
in there with us rather than we with them
yeah right
correct
yeah
if need be I can also create a safe
passage within the mountain itself
something to hopefully sustain
us should its breath weapon
appear but to do so
will require much of my action
wait that's a
game turn
ah fuck
yeah you see here Mr. Tannhauser
he points at the diamonds on your
spell book that's how much it'll do
laughs
well Mr. Rahula
do you think you can protect yourself against a dragon
and try to get its attention the best
you can well Oren I'll
certainly do the very best I can
I don't know how appetizing I'll be
to a dragon though I'm just
made of wood you know
to help give I'm sorry to
interrupt you to help give
you the best chance of trying to
attract this thing's attention
Thurston I'd like to propose two things
I kind of propose a nature
check to find like maybe there's
something I can like maybe I can
combine the moss
enchantments in some way with something to
kind of put on Rahula
like maybe the growing talking fungus
people that's on him and
have the dragon be like that's moss
I need to kill it you know I need to get rid
of that because that's a threat to me or
uh kind of use like my
lower skill plants second time
I get to use it if it ever
if it works uh to potentially
find like some combination of herbs or
something that would trigger this dragon to be
like hey I don't like that or
it's like a smell that kind
of drives it to want to go after a target
yeah I'd allow lower plants I think
that's a perfect use here awesome could I
may I assist with a lower
herbalism
yeah that'd be awesome
all right let me roll mine first and then
your assistance comes
in so I got a 28 total
13 I'll die now you roll yours
the dc usually is 15 unless there's
someone to change it and then
if it passes I get a plus that's a nat
one
make it worse so I get a negative
one if I remember
right
so turns out turns out I
don't know shit about fuck here
please uh please
roll the complicate yeah just determine the
complicate for us oh boy
uh oh
oh oh I've selected some
very good ones fuck
all three of these are amazing
uh Thurston
can you roll me a 1d3
a three
complication from the dragon
from the dragon from the dragon the
complication by Zenit is
pull the lever minion a hostile
otherwise unfriendly NPC pulls a
nearby lever either immediately or on its
turn only Thurston knows what the lever
does
hobgoblin's coming back
thank you Zenit for that complication
you too can submit complication
at narrative declaration or
patreon.com or
patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration
Zenit that's the most appropriate
one give me a sec
here this is
gonna be very important one sec
I gotta do some stuff here
I think this is good
what's gonna trigger the combat
what
trigger the whole
start battle now lever
yeah yeah
right next to the button says bet you
can't guess what this one does
so the
the hobgoblin general
who serves the dragon
has been alerted
as the dragon's alarm
anti-teleportation alarm goes off
of course
of course he has that it is pulled
the lever
uh let's put everyone
into combat
because
you know
if I could get everyone to uh
just just roll some
some initiative that'd be great
thanks all right
I believe you wanted I think Baldrick
wanted to do stealth I think
yeah yeah
well at least I didn't roll
that one on stealth yeah
you can just ask Thurston to be like hey I want
to sneak can I position myself somewhere
I think you'll yeah I'm gonna
yeah
absolutely you can maneuver
around here a bit like you don't have to be in this
exact formation I've placed you in so
and for initiative
Baldrick with the stealth got a
38 Oren got a 37
Veena got a 24 Rehuba got a 24
and Tannhauser got a 22 sorry I took it from you for time
um so that is our
initiative so far we don't know the dragons
yet
well there's no dragon there's just
a hobgoblin oh yes
what's his initiative just the one Erndell
um I'm confused what
no I know we're fighting the hobgoblins
everyone's talking at once
uh
uh yeah
go ahead just
just speak please
okay so there's a hobgoblin who's pulled
the lever as all of you have began sort of
your preparations and Hulki you're
like you have you have Tannhauser sort of
coming up to you uh sorry not Tannhauser
coming up to you kind of I don't know lathering
you with
dirt and
moss and as this is
happening your eye is like trying to
maneuver around like to be like no
like change that but like you're so distracted
and then your eye just like
lowers to the southeast of
the path that you're on and there is a
lone hobgoblin whose hand
has pulled a lever
um which you then are
able to alert to your companions
um and so
beginning the encounter
um we're going to start
with Baldrick who has the highest
uh initiative
uh okay
so
uh I don't I don't really
even know um
125 feet
away from me fucking
move out of sight I'm gonna
move over here to action move
and then
my turn because I
feel like wasting
attacks on this is a waste of my
limited resources
absolutely okay
uh it's gonna bring us over to Oren
awesome also
multiple of you still have stats
on so I'm going to get rid of those for
you
should no longer be there excellent
all right because I know
Rahua is
gonna need this uh
he wants to preliminary buff his
friends so Oren is gonna take a turn
uh to basically cast paste
upon Rahua
so for a
good long bit you'll be able to move around
just fine and try to
engage that dragon and do some extra stuff
and for his
final action he is going to
begin to
fly up a little bit he's
going to begin to fly up I think I'm gonna go
5 10 about
15 of going
straight up so he's gonna
begin to take flight with his
wings and that'll be the end of his turn
okay perfect
the hobgoblin
his first action
is to move up 25 feet
all right he draws a
short composite bow
he targets Rahua
he shoots a
short comp or composite short
bow at Rahua
I'm living in fear
uh oh
he critically misses by 19
oh my god
wow
Veena your
go
uh all right so we
just see the hobgoblin
and his funny lever
mm-hmm
all right
guys are we trying to kill this thing I don't know
it just kind of looks like a little guy
okay
uh
Veena's gonna go
maybe it
knows where the dragon is
it might
uh
first action move
second action
damn I can't get right up to it
I could get close though
well
29 on initiative and it's like
that was its like that
was basically it like juice in its
one roll that was its life
had a good run
good job buddy
all right uh so that
was two actions to move
third action I'm not
gonna bother too much with panache
he just looks like a little guy
uh I'm just gonna take the hill to my
sword and hit him as hard as I can on the back
of the head
yeah do it
ha
critting him
uh oh
crit him
come up to this little guy
you bop him that doesn't feel like a
great crit I'll be real
considering it rolled
a 16 and
that feels like a low blow
oh this is what
Thurston's
bosses have been doing to us
ha
ha
oh he succeeded on his fortitude
save though
and yeah
I will do 62 damage
attacking him on the back of the head
with a rock
he's still standing he takes
it oh you're a hardy little guy
huh
can you tell us where the dragon is
and I'm gonna end my
turn
I just bashed you in the back of the head
and you're bleeding everywhere hey by
the way where's your boss
he hits you again hey where's your
boss
I could just be here you know
hold on
not the dark souls health bar
ha ha ha
I his phase two
is gonna be wild
there's gonna be a second one
trusty patches phase two
surrender
it's true
you like bop this
hobgoblin on the head
it recoils back
it's like holding a short
bow so he can't even like hit you
back and he's just like
yeah
he's got the spearhead
Rahua
well considering all my stuff is
out of range save for
a spell I'm not going to waste on a
hobgoblin
Rahua's just gonna fucking move up
so so downgrading
the hobgoblins man
it's a fucking hobgoblin dude there's a
there's a dragon somewhere
whoa
why are you booing me
I'm right
welcome to the Rahua gets cancelled
episode everybody
so true so true so much for that
let's holler at left
if you want to be part of the revolution
you got a rogan podcast
ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha
who is the first person that Rahua interviews
on his podcast
tree razor
yeah
touche
there's there's some great fan
art right there you can do that
the Rahua
experience
I was gonna say one of the I was gonna say one of the
fan lords
elanos muscovich
stop
tweaking brick with him
hey are we beating this hobgoblin
to death peter
do we need to do that
I wasn't
I wasn't gonna kill him honestly
that just feels like a low blow
I mean yeah you just kind of came up and beat him on the
head hey look do you live around here
oh whatever
he was trying to shoot
at us so you know
this is a harsh lesson to learn
alright I suddenly don't care anymore
I don't think he wants to make amends
he's not
even sorry
tanhouser
alright so the first thing tanhouser is going to do on his turn is
complicate because I rolled a natural one for initiative
nope
we decided
we decided
nevermind that dimension
no longer exists for us
that was a second ago
that was a second ago
this is right now and that tanhouser
is dead canonically
okay
tanhouser is gonna move
25 feet
am I in range
still no
tanhouser is going to move
another
25 feet
and using
one action
I would very much like
yeah I would
very much like to see
are there any other
signs of goblins
or other minions perhaps lying
in wait to support this creature
this is not
the sort of individual that tends to operate
alone I don't think
give me
a perception check
you got it oh actually my land speed
is 30 so
right here
epic okay
that is a 14
that is a 14
on the die for total 34
because
I'll say that you were detecting magic
as you know
your exploration activity
which I believe you said
there's enough residual that you're able to
look around see what's going on
it's not that there's
there's others nearby instead
it looks like what you've honed in on
is a pocket on this mountain
where
the dragon has set up
essentially like
teleportation traps so
anyone who would
teleport or use translocation type magic
to move around
there are you know
essentially nearby alert stations
which connect to
other ley lines based on the
lever that this goblin is pulled
you're guessing that this is some kind of
like I don't know
ancient like hobgoblin tribal
role that they might have had on this map
mountain
I see
like if this thing gets tripped
go pull the lever kind of a deal
and you're doing so in service
to the great draconic deity
how
interesting
well that's my turn
okay
that will bring us over
back to Baldrick
Baldrick?
Baldrick?
Baldrick?
this is just so funny to me cause I'm
I literally shouldn't
do anything because if I throw any of my
greater alchemist fire at this thing
there's just no way cause he's a little
he's a little freak
you can just throw a rod
I will just end my turn
cause I don't see myself doing anything else
he's still valid
Orin kill him
use power beam
uh fly up
sorry I'm trying to like
measure here I should have
35 of fly speed
I do alright he's gonna fly up
for one action just
so I don't have to maintain the fly thing
uh he is 60 feet away
do I have anything that's 60 feet away
the blast with my
cantrips do I
frostbite I do
I do have it
okay I am
going to cast
frostbite
and also
fix the zoom
of the combat camera
so next time it targets
a thing it can kind of see the token
and the target there it goes
casting frostbite
basically that thing needs to make me a
dc31 fortitude save
oh it's gonna be fine
oh yeah it masters
these
he's really good at these
he crit failed okay
so here's the damage
8d4
this is gonna be doubled
so double of
awesome
I got it
as hard as
oh yeah and there's the beam
um
I got it
yeah
the dragon though
beware
the dragon to our presence
at the very least other compares
but
but
the lever
oh
he looks off
to the distance
and sees it
uh oh
the dragon
circles around
Thurston I give you full permission to change
the boss health bar to whatever you want
anything I want
whatever is optional there
so
I know I told you no in the past
I think you deserve
whichever one you want it to be
that's what the lever does
that's his promotion
um
this one
that's very like that will give you hope because you can fight it
in segments so I'm not a fan
of that uh you're on a
freezing mountain so ice is always
pretty fun
um but you know I think
we might have to go with
you know a
classic royal boss
yeah
very nice there we go
dude
dragon spends
one round
approaching
it then spends
another round
casting a spell
uh oh
and it lets out a
horrifying roar as all of you turn
and see it wheeling around the mountain
coming towards you
um several hundred feet away
you see it just in time for it to roar
and then turn invisible
oh this fucker
also
we're on our discord
I'm playing the
I'm playing cool dragon sounds
if you want to be immersed
yeah
hell yeah
dragon sounds
Thorsten not realizing that I am also invisible
because I took no combat action
so he didn't see me
that is true
it's very true
Bina here go
okay damn
so this thing went invisible
um
sure did
in anticipation of
breath weapon chicanery
uh Bina's
going to
start kind of
spreading out a bit
okay jump behind here
and then I am going to take
a uh stealth
action
awesome
you mean get the hide action for you?
you got it
give me a check
oh god
I got you
oh thank you thank you
make sure you have hardware acceleration on
yes oh no I do
um I'm just not on a great PC right now
oh yeah I think you're on your little
like oh god I'm dying Mac
yeah I'm sorry
my Mac that's almost a decade old
ooh
that's not so good
why did it do it privately?
suppose so on how hiding works
uh it is a
what we call like it's a secret check
yeah it's a secret check we never really
have done it in this but basically
how it works you do a secret check only
Thurston would would know of
it but he'll reveal it in the show that's a
26 and then you just don't
know that's the risk of it
and it has to beat
that with his perception it
has to beat that basically
to see if he knows what you've done
I see I see I see so like in
core Pathfinder rules there's a lot of
things that are listed as secret checks like
for example anytime you recall knowledge
about something it's a secret check you don't know
the results um it's a very
common house rule which I employ pretty
rigorously that I'm not a fan
of secret checks it leads to like weird
gameyism so I much
prefer people being able to see the results that way
they can use hero points and stuff appropriately
ah that's what we've always done
so you can see the rules yeah
good to know
um yeah I
I will go ahead and keep
that just cause I
I don't think that
is worth spending the hero point so
Veena's just going to duck down
and be on alert for when
this dragon gets closer inevitably
okay okay
uh let's go to Rahua
uh Rahua's
gonna see the dragon disappear from
sight and take the opportunity
to
whisper a few words into the
end that waits beyond
and know that it's okay
because whatever happens is going to have to happen
and offer a
benediction to the anarchy
for two actions and then
use the other to move
slightly further away
okay
and drop out of sight
right
10 has her ear up
alright time to put the plan into action
uh my
I am going
to go ahead
and
ah so many choices
really
um
I think that it is
very clear
that we are
intending to bait this bastard out
So, to that end, I am going to spend my turn, I am going to tap my staff to the ground,
and I am going to cast Mist.
And I'm going to create a 20-foot cloud, where those beings within it become concealed.
And hopefully this will help us remain stealthy.
That is a three-action cast, so that is my turn.
Awesome, okay.
Baldrick, you're up.
I want to inquire, because I asserted it pretty boldly, am I still hidden, or do
I need to re-up my stealth?
You stick with the same thing until you maneuver out into somewhere new, or anything
like that.
I will continue.
I would actually like to delay, so I'm going to do that.
Okay.
I guess I believe that's what I just did there.
Yeah, just delay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's, um, I don't know if there's a button for it on this overlay, but yeah, I know you're
delayed.
Yeah, the, I think the hourglass button, right by, if we do this...
Yeah, the problem is some of the names go super long now, so it cuts it off.
There we go.
I have chosen to delay.
Yeah.
There we go.
Cool.
All right, Oren.
Yeah, you, you, for you, you have to stretch it horizontally a bit, if you pop it out.
Um, for Oren, now that Tano's done the miss, it's, I have two minds for the strategy of
it.
One, fantastic.
Two, if he already knows we're here, he can easily get a breath weapon on all of us still,
so it still risks, um, it still risks that.
Yeah.
And I, I have various spells, obviously, but I am so curious, because I have to kind of
use them reactively, because if I try to buff some people now, it's not gonna be helpful.
Not to mention I need to hold my high level spell slots for good heals, uh, when I need
it.
So I'm going to use this opportunity to try to get some spreading going.
Uh, Oren's going to fly, uh, for one action this way.
Flutter, flutter, flutter to the edge of this miss, going more eastward down the path.
Uh, second action, he is going to go further east, kind of in between Veena and Tannhauser,
kind of like behind this tree, but he's still fifting up, feet up in the air.
And that is all he's going to prep for, really, as he kind of sees this dragon just rushing
over.
Well, you don't see the dragon, because the dragon's invisible.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I imagine.
He imagines.
He, he, he feels the pressure of the air going.
He imagines dragons.
Yeah.
I, I'm angry now.
You've ruined the moment, Speaker.
Imagine does.
I take my ass and I slap mine.
Sorry.
What?
What?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, he's moving.
He's moving.
Do you see that?
I do see that.
That's not good.
Pretend that you don't.
All right.
Everyone, close your eyes.
Yeah.
I'm in.
I'm not looking at the stream.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
All right.
No one look.
No one.
I'm looking away.
Just tell me when you're done, Thurston.
I'm not paying attention.
I'm doing my pulls.
Yeah.
Okay.
Just tell me when you're done.
Okay.
Okay, so he's done. Okay, I can look over now.
All right, so still, still nothing from this guy.
Um, definitely want to stay spread out,
because we don't want to get tagged by that breath weapon.
Um, should I go a little further?
I don't want to be too out of range of like, heels or anything,
but I also don't want to be in the code.
I recommend you do what you need to do to do as much damage as you can.
It's my job to get to you.
If I need you to come to me, we can coordinate.
Okay.
Like, right now, we just need, I, I'm not going to play your thing.
You go, my bad.
Oh yeah, no worries.
Um, yeah, in that case, I'm just going to preemptively
use two actions to pop my wings.
Um.
Well, the thing is, if he decides not to engage us here,
I'm going to not have these for later,
because they only last for 10 minutes.
10 minutes is a long time.
That's like.
It is a long time, but it's like,
if he disengages from this particular encounter with him.
Fucking hell, Odo, look at you.
I'm proud of you.
Like, you absolutely see a potential strong tactic that I could employ.
Which is let you blow everything and then just have it fly off invisible.
Respect to you.
Thank you.
Very good.
I, I, gamering, gamer, um, yeah.
You wasn't praising me when I sat and didn't do anything.
True.
True.
It was less cool.
Um.
Brutal.
So in that case, I will actually save my wings.
Uh, because it looks like, I don't know where this guy is.
And if they accuse me.
If they expire, then I'm out of them for the rest of the day.
Uh, so I'm going to go ahead and one action swoops over here.
Second action hits you with a little bit of a stick.
Okay.
Oh, she's chugging.
She's like, I promise.
I believe.
I believe.
I believe.
Chug it.
Chug it.
Chug it.
Chug it.
Chug it.
Chug it.
Chug.
Chug it.
Chug.
Chug it.
Chug it.
Chug it.
Chug it.
Chug it.
Chug.
Chug it.
Chug it.
Chug it.
Chug it.
Chug it.
All right.
Oh.
There it goes.
There it goes.
All right.
So, not bad.
So, Veena's going to duck behind, kind of folding the sword close, just keeping an
eye out, being as observant as possible, trying to see.
Hmm.
Hmm.
a dragon turn invisible, so
Veena's just going to be on the lookout for any
external signs that this thing is moving.
You know, clouds parting, or
just things like that.
Sure.
Okay.
And that'll be my turn.
Alright. The podcast listeners, Veena rolled a 34
for their stealth check.
Oh, yes.
Rahula?
Well, Rahula's still stuck
within the stealth cloud,
however.
You're not stuck in there, but you're good.
I mean, I'm not stuck
in, but I've gotten stuck in.
Like, term of phrase.
Rahula's going to move a little bit
further towards the edge
of it.
Try and sit right in the middle.
Actually, better yet,
sit right outside
of it.
Okay.
And one action move, second action is going
to draw his shield.
You mean action ray shield?
Ray shield?
Well, I...
It's not drawing yet, so...
It doesn't hide your stuff now.
No, I was just going to
raw dog that. I was like, oh, oh, right.
I didn't anticipate the invisibility.
I was just going to latch on and try and ride him.
Or Rahula will instead
raise the shield
that he's obviously had drawn
the whole time.
And beckon the dragon,
come closer,
and fight me like
a real evolved life form.
Dinosaurs
use invisibility.
Dragons don't do that.
What are you, some kind of coward?
I'll keep passing the ball.
Okay, we'll know what happens.
Oh, very tense stuff,
but I do have something that I can do.
I'm going to go ahead and,
oh, God, I have a few options,
but honestly,
I think what I oughtn't to do...
Okay, there's a limit on height
for some things,
but not on length, I notice.
Okay.
Um,
I am going,
and you can stop me if this cannot happen,
right?
But I am going to
cast wall of stone okay and i'm actually going to cast this in an unusual way um
i'm going to uh choose a point uh let's say a hundred feet up
on the this cliff face or whatever the height of this cliff faces yeah and i am going to extend
basically a solid line um 120 feet forward yeah okay so the idea is basically there's just an
aperture like here or like here that just i i don't know can you drop templates with your yeah
he can create one um yeah top left speaker there's a little measurement ruler icon there you click
and click the square one and think of you drag over each square to indicate where you kind of
want this thing then you can rotate it with like shift and scroll wheel very good okay so these are
all 10 foot by 10 foot sections and you can come out below
right
that's about what i'm looking for so just like a large aerial flank that is just
up in the air it's like a giant plank cool
yeah this thing comes out of the mountain shuts over everything shades the poor hobgoblin
corpse underneath it how tall that's what how high was it up however high up the cliff faces
um i would uh like it to be probably about like has to be within three inches i don't know about
within 120 feet so yeah it's probably at the angle about 80 feet up 80 feet up is fine by me
i mean this dragon can go 500 feet up if they wanted to so it's like a
it's a fact of life anyway that is my turn because that was three actions okay baldrick
okay so from what i understand i should approach carefully
and stealthily so as to not let this thing know that i'm here
so i'm going to make a one action move to there
now they're all saying they can see
okay so i'm going to make a one action move to there
it but i cannot see it so that's fine which is okay what was that okay i'm going to then move
to this spot betwixt the boulders and would i need to make another stealth check or am i still okay
uh you should be fine you're you're i'm just gonna count as you kind of moving from cover
to cover so okay then i am going to once again end my turn as i creep forward or in europe
i'm going to delay for after the dragon goes
okay
oh yeah i won't look away you can't look at it
i'll just minimize
it test something real quick
no we can't look we can't cheat yeah we can't do that
hey chad out of one out of ten do you think we're going to survive like ten
of we're totally going to survive one of we're dead
three
damn
chad has got a uh very moderate amount of faith in us
you hear some like mutterings um in the air as though there's some like some incantations being
uttered in draconic um and then the sound of more invisible movement around the wings kind
of approaching but you're not sure from where vina
oh
oh
oh
oh
oh
oh
oh
oh
oh
I don't think i can hear you
it'll be it'll be my turn now
oh yeah if you want to come up yes if i click that there we go there we go you gotta try to seek those
mana jama oh sorry uh if i click the button it should i got it out of it there you go
now it's awesome thank you sir um you said it was like doing some muttering and stuff like that right
yeah may i do a perception check to try to triangulate where the sound is yes it was basically
um gonna do the seek action yeah
which version of the seek action are you doing
oh there's so many of them
but there's the cone and the god damn it
just
scan an area for signs a creature's object possibly including
the secret doors it has sound
choose an area to scan the gm determines the area you can scan with oncec action almost always 30 feet or less pre-instant
in any dimension the game master might impose a penalty if you search far away from you or just the number of actions it takes to seek them
away from you or just the number of actions it takes to seek them
alessandra
seek a particularly cluttered area uh the GM attempts a secret perception check for you
and compares the results of the stealthy sea of any undetected or hidden creatures in the area
uh okay so what I'm going to do I would like to spend one action to keep flight because I need
to maintain it uh and I want to if it's okay dedicate at least two actions to try and really
triangulate like hearing the beating of the way of the wings feeling the pressure of the air
you know it's kind of like my excuse is having kind of like a bird sense of like you're feeling
a shift around you of the kind of the air pressure go like okay it's somewhere in that area um do you
permit that is that okay or would you like me to do something absolutely I'll allow it I'll allow
it sure awesome uh let me do a public perception check for you you want it hidden yeah okay
you can give me a problem all right here's a perception you all know oh cool too
oh nice job oh yeah it's a howling mountaintop the snow seems to be intensifying there's lots
of whipping wind yeah it's really hard to get a beat on this thing yeah as Oren tries his best
to triangulate its position he's like I can't I can't tell where it is everyone it's like
at least keep try to listen for it listen for the wings and that'll be the end of his turn okay
dina okay um so Oren didn't find anything it still hasn't done anything there's been muttering
and draconic bena's going I was about to say it's flying around casting spells but
they don't seem to break invisibility for what that's worth uh oh he's just
sitting and spending like six turns buffing and then he's gonna nuke us from orbit
I'm with you
go dragon can do more these chickenn-pump- format so we're gonna miss that scene he's going to have�
I'm sorry to say, I don't have the Sam site upgrade for Alchemist yet.
You got to wait like two levels for that.
So we're going to have to wait.
Yeah, my STCs are mining somewhere else.
I got to bring them later.
This dragon's about to hit us with the bombardment.
All right.
Sorry, sorry.
There's a Zedek joke there somewhere, but I'm not going to take it.
So that's an Alden Ross joke?
Yeah, that's an Alden Ross thing.
He's got a fully stocked cruiser in orbit.
That's true.
Unlike some people I know.
Yeah, yeah.
Unlike two characters of mine.
So true.
Yeah, I'm going to do what Oren did.
I'm going to attempt a seek action.
Just as he's saying to keep an eye out,
Veena's going to lean around and just desperately try to locate where this thing is.
Okay, give me a perception check.
All right, it has been rolled.
Yeah, you have to reveal it there.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Sorry.
Sorry.
It doesn't give me the.
If you see the pink button that just.
There we go.
Yeah, I got it.
No, not for you.
For everyone else.
If everyone else, you see that pink button, just ignore that.
Roll it manually on your sheet.
All right.
I'm sorry, Veena.
Not quite enough.
Not quite enough.
Shit.
I don't see it either.
And then she's going to duck back behind the tree.
Um.
And remind me, I don't think I can.
Can I use a stealth action?
If you if you have, like, an action to stealth.
Oh, yeah, I do have an action.
I do.
Yeah.
Do it up.
She's going to peek out, not see anything, and then duck back in poorly.
Apparently.
Oh, hi, Roland.
Tonight.
Remember to say the number.
Uh, it's a twenty eight.
Eight.
Eight.
Eight.
Eight.
Eight.
Eight.
Eight.
Six.
So not very good.
All right, I guess that brings us to Rehua.
Oh, can we really not see this thing at all?
I would like to attempt another perception check.
Find this creature.
We're looking so hard.
We're staring with our big eyes.
So fucking hard.
I spy with my big wet eyes, jackershit.
What's it going to be?
Well, it ain't gonna succeed.
fuck no still a bit shy of the prize still a bit shy of the prize my friend
i'm gonna hero point it i just we just need to know where this thing is
yeah do it up hero point it plus 10 reroll the hero point
there'll be a 16 additional plus 10 so 47 no you don't get the plus 10 oh right it's under 10
yes flat 10 37 sweet you can locate its space
oh one sec that's not where i wanted to know where it was it's still invisible you can't
see it yet it's flying 20 feet above uh so it's about five feet above orin
orin feels it no this is it dragon looks at him he looks at it he's like
someone depict the rot dragon wearing uh the goku fit the one where he's like dressed up in the
supreme outfit oh god oh god oh god thurston if i aim a spell upwards can i avoid my teammates
yeah you can arc it for sure okay cool i'm gonna do it
that i'm gonna just see that
oh oh my god he's balls duck and i'm gonna aim out and aim upwards and
like goku shoot a laser from my hand radiant beam
give me a concealment check sure it's still hidden from you that's true where's the flat 20 d20
yeah just yeah d20 deep
oh no
and away we go i'm glad because you said earlier you had some really good complications lined up
so i'm excited for the second time to do some more yeah
uh-oh
oh god
i'm flipping a coin for this one because one of these will just make our lives oh you can do a
coin in this if you do uh 1d2 it'll flip a coin i know i can i like the tactile feeling okay i'm
sorry with my hand i'm supposed to i'm especially thinking if other people can see it uh in the
viewers oh that's true yeah i'll you know what i'm my desk somehow being clean is still a mess
i'll just flip a coin oh good luck everybody else oh boy i hope it's not too i hope it's not too
you can't thank god all right well no it's it's anarchy odo i have to go with whatever the fate
tells me to and this is chaos can i propose god damn right can i propose something honky
sure i feel it's more exciting for us to see what the result would be if you tell us the
titles of the two complications you're considering and then flip the coin so do you want to flip and
oh fuck yeah great good call good call good call good call good call good call good call good call
good call so our two complications that we're going to possibly get are unleashed evil
or you are going to brazil and who and who are they from those are from kora and makita
respectively hell yeah so let's so what is what is one is yes
yes one is you are going to brazil two is unleashed evil let's see it oh no roll it
fate and see what we have are we going to brazil no we are not
the complication again by kora is unleashed evil whoops whatever you did you inadvertently
destroy the seal of something that imprisoned a malevolent entity perhaps it's a malicious genie
aberration or some stranger force of malice when it breaks free it causes one harmful magical
effect to those around it and then repeats this effect at the end of your next turn before it
departs oh okay this dude's
you want to click the complications thank you yes very sorry well it's obviously gonna emanate
because you shot out a beam but it's gonna miss it's actually gonna uh tear a hole in
reality and strike the corpse of the hobgoblin general um which is going to unleash the dark
spirit of the hobgoblin general can i can i make a proposition thurston uh-huh can it be the temporal
gnome instead
he's back for his revenge
fuck you know you know that's great i'm gonna allow that i'm gonna allow that because it's funny
given the positioning of everything um i think it's still gonna fuck over orin specifically
because that's just what we're doing i'm okay with it man um
yeah
so uh you know um orin if you could um
or if you could give me a will save please
um
you can set sound effects and foundry i would like everyone to set them
it's very fun okay um so i roll a nap one
yeah
uh would you like me to complicate it a little bit more if i chain it
first or
tell me what happens first yeah let's
let's well let's complicate first because it
might depend because the spell is gonna
be pretty ball busting absolutely
this is about to get really fucking
stupid i'm i'm really
oh i i have
three of them here i have one called
chaotic coinage from uh
zenzan zanzan i think i butchered
your name i'm sorry point blank
annihilation from chaos not even
once and cute puppy
from platy mage i
think
oh yeah
oh
okay point blank
annihilation either through
a cataclysmic spell of mishap
a fragile piece of
technology going critical or
some other unfortunate happenstance
the character becomes the epicenter
of a large
explosion
thurston
thurston
if i explode
will it also get the dragon
because it says a large explosion
you cannot you can't
turn a complication
into a benefit
to become a fireball
the chat has
written to the our benefactors
have submitted
the i turned into fireball
ability and i will
take you know what damage i
i will make it sweet for you thurston you know
why i will i will i will say i auto fail
but i get fair okay i'll i'll allow this i'll allow this allow this you're gonna you're gonna take the full brunt of of the explosion
yes sir
okay
that is my compromise
oh boy
you want to talk about compromise
sorry sorry sorry this is where i go
and it's a fireball of a week
fireball of rot dragon oh it's a beautiful bat
yeah fine you know what sure um oh my god let's let's see
let's uh my 2d6
so okay yeah sure um you'll auto fail
still roll me another d20 just in case you roll another one
you want me as a save or a flat 20 just just flat okay
dragon will critically succeed uh the dragon will definitely critically succeed
i got a you however i got a on a flat 20 it's a 16 okay
oh
oh
oran you will take 47 points of damage
um who was your spell supposed to do that now wait wait wait that was that was the complication
of oran failing something which we haven't got to yet brutal oran yeah you are now paralyzed
for the next four
rounds fuck Oh my god
i i really
like this i like what's happening here Orin's mom says please
take care of my son ensure he does what he needs to do
and then Orin just
explodes like we didn't even do anything he just
chose to do that my main goal is to blowup
maybe the dragon will take pity on us
Man this is embarrassing
cut out for this are you so thirsty since you applied paralyzed to me i am 15 feet in the air
let's talk about falling rules oh no yeah it's true because i would immediately fall okay
it's very true you would um well unless you allow the strict thing which i
i would say narratively it does not work here because strix auto gently fall all the time but
i'm paralyzed i'm okay with it being disabled i want to clarify that because i know someone
might bring that up so honestly i don't even really care here i'll give you an extra five
points of damage we'll call it even steven and you're on ground level now all right i'll get
that adjusted so you know i wasn't objecting by the way like no no no no no absolutely absolutely
absolutely all right down paralyzed the end of each of your turns from now on you'll be able to
uh to make a will
save to try to get unparalyzed that was your second and third action if i recall correctly
right that's correct thurston thanks for the help tan hauser ah okay we're gonna do two things
i had a whole plan it was gonna be awesome i didn't think he was 20 feet away from us so
uh plans i flew him around a bunch of places and then i was like
you know he's almost ready that's pretty good i really like that okay here's what we're gonna do
i am going
to cast revealing light
and uh i'm going to need that dragon to go ahead and make me a dc32 reflex save
sure
or else it shall merely be concealed okay well i guess it could perfectly succeed instead
sure again
well i'm not out of tricks yet and now i'm going to point my finger in the
relative direction where i believe the dragon is uh-huh everyone do what you can
right now i cast true target and i delve into the possible futures in the next few seconds to
determine all the ways my foe might avoid harm i designate that creature each tar each uh first
time each target makes an attack roll against that creature during true targets duration which
is until the start of my next turn uh basically you get to ignore uh circumstance penalties to
the attack role and any flat check required due to the creature being concealed or hit
it's really good good spell thank you very good spell very good spell let's uh is there is there
there a but is there a butt because you are targeting it and it has not been revealed to you
in this case in this case like that is not how this spell works and the reason for that it's
because it's a seventh level spell and this spell would be stupid if it didn't actually bypass
that that's why it uses i believecamp was useful except in case of attack rolls stats died fast and
I believe designate instead of target.
Because you're not targeting.
You're 100% correct. My bad.
Yeah. No but. My bad.
Good job.
Thank you. For the next turn, we will be able
to see that bastard. Do what you
can to either
immobilize it, stop it from moving,
do your big attacks, whatever you
think is appropriate. I pass the turn.
Okay.
Baldrick.
So Thurston.
I am
behind this rock, right?
But this thing is 20 feet
in the air because this rock is precluding me
from seeing anything past
it.
Yeah, you can see it from where you
are. Let me hear what it's like. I'm gonna make
this. Would you allow me to
just target it?
No, no, no. I'm just gonna
make me fly.
No.
Forgive me. I have hiccups for some reason.
I'm gonna mute myself.
I don't forgive you.
Do better.
Does that allow you to see through it?
That allows me to see through it, but I do not see the dragon
despite being true targeted.
No, you, you, you don't, uh, you shouldn't see the dragon from
where you are. It's still invisible.
I don't know if anybody is arrested for seeing it, but it's
basically, uh, I can see it.
I can see the invisible thing.
Oh, wait.
I, so, so my question, I guess Thurston is true target.
Who is that allowing me to see it?
Yeah, you don't take a hidden or anything else.
So you can just go, okay.
I would like to target it, but I can't target it.
So, um, I'm going to try one other thing here.
I'm going to destroy some of Zoran's precious work momentarily.
Oh, no, it's fine.
If it's in the way, I'll get rid of it.
Now I can see it.
Okay.
Yep.
There you go.
Just, just blast it.
I target that thing.
Hmm.
There.
It is affected by like a good, good.
We still have true target on that.
Good.
Okay.
All right.
Hold on a sec.
Cause I'm going to have to think about what I'm going to
actually throw it at this time.
Let me think.
Hang on.
Circumstance penalties.
Range penalty is not circumstance.
Is it?
Doesn't matter.
It's within range, but I just want to know.
Offhand.
I think it's just a flat penalty.
Got it.
I don't think it has like a type to it.
In any event, I am going to draw and throw a greater acid flask with sticky
bomb active and hope that it works because I want to, yes, reminder.
The one thing that this thing is immune to is acid.
Ah, nevermind.
In that case, I'm going to not use acid.
I remember I wasn't there for that fight thirst.
And you guys had that without me.
I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt.
That your allies would have talked to you.
Yeah.
We said Baldrick.
It would be really funny if you used acid on it.
Baldrick would do that.
Wouldn't they?
Anyway, I was starting to do a bit and it's gone now.
Now I have to interrupt Erndal's turn.
Oh, fuck.
Do your turn.
What?
What?
I'm hiccups.
Continue.
Okay.
I'm getting stun luck.
I'm just going to debilitating bomb.
Fuck it.
Not sticky bomb.
Debilitating bomb.
I have to remember what debilitating bomb does.
I haven't used it in so long because I'm just DPS.
But I want to see if it's going to be actually useful.
Let me see.
Debilitating bomb.
I can choose dazzled, deafened, or off guard.
Or a minus five foot status.
Yeah, I'll make a minus five foot status.
But we'll have to see if I hit him first.
Go, my debilitating bomb.
Ha!
I rolled a 20 on one of those.
Let's see here.
Yeah, looks like you hit it.
So, all right.
One of those was a net 20, though.
From what I could see.
What was the...
Because one of them looks like it was still rolling the hidden thing,
which is just because.
Hang on.
Oh, hang on.
Was the deep...
Oh, for fuck's sake.
The auto check was the one on the invisible that got the 20,
and the other one was a 15.
That sucks.
Whatever.
Yes.
But you hit him.
Yep.
I'll do the damage real quick.
Explosion does 25 plus 10.
Good.
Yep, you're set on fire.
Now he has to do debilitating...
Bomb.
Trying to...
Okay.
Yeah.
If you could make a DC 32 fortitude.
Yeah.
There you go.
I'll put it in the button for you.
I am a dragon.
I roll a natural one.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
The universe threw us exactly one.
Count it.
One bone this session.
The problem...
The problem is that doesn't necessarily make this worse.
It just means he just gets the effect.
I just like it.
It's fun.
It does feel good.
You get...
It feels nice.
A dub is a dub, right?
So, Thurston.
That's a minus five foot status penalty to speeds.
Okay.
Hang on a second.
So that...
Does that apply to all movement or just on the ground?
I don't know, because I'm pulling up your rules to look at them.
Let me check.
It just says minus five foot status penalty, and I wonder if that means...
Oh, excuse me.
Yeah.
It says penalty two speeds.
So, all of them.
Clarification.
This is a greater bomb.
So, that's actually minus ten.
Okay.
Cool.
Uh...
Greater...
Bomb...
Oh.
Um...
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Did you take greater debilitating bomb as a feat?
Uh...
No, I don't know what...
so, this is the part that I'm perplexed on, because it's a greater bomb.
That I'm throwing.
But just having debilitating bomb is just, what...
normal?
Yeah.
So...
so, there's another class feat you can take for...
Oh.
Well, fuck it.
I'll get this minus five, whatever.
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh...
It will take the penalty...
and it will...
Um, so, so remember, you can choose Dazzle, Defender, Off-Guard.
Yeah, and I wanted to reduce its speed, because I don't want it to just flee with
impunity.
Sounds good.
I will buy that.
Okay.
That was one move out of three possible ones.
Yes.
So let's see, I'm just gonna do some quick math here.
So even with a 15, I was only hitting by one.
Which means I need to hit a 20 if I want to hit it at all.
Like a 19 or a 20.
That, that's why I wonder is like, is Off-Guard the better choice to lower its
AC?
Like there's, there's options you have, right?
I know there are options, but like how much is it lowering it by to be Off-Guard?
Two?
Eh.
That's pretty good.
And that's for everybody?
Yeah.
Why not?
Go ahead.
I'll change that from the Slow to the Off-Guard if you could, please.
Yeah, totally.
Got it.
It's not gonna make my second attack any better of a choice, because that's
like a 20% chance to hit, which is not good use of my limited resources.
Is there anything else I can fucking do?
Hmm.
You can't, there's an action, uh, first off, do you want to, may I bring a suggestion?
You want to, uh, hit yourself?
I want to puzzle it up myself, please.
Okay.
That's why I asked.
Yep.
Appreciate it.
Um.
You know what?
Thurston, I'm going to do something I haven't done in a bit.
I'm going to use one of my versatile vials to create a cheetah's elixir, actually.
Okay.
And I'm going to quaff that real quick.
Yeah.
Okay.
And I'm going to just drink that now.
Okay.
Uh, where did it go?
There it is.
Okay.
Sorry, I lost it for a second.
I'm just going to use this now, and that will be my turn.
Okay.
Do, what do you mean hidden invisible?
Oh, I, because I'm targeting the dragon, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did I give it to the dragon on accident?
You gave me that back.
I think you did.
You did, yeah.
God damn it.
We created one, and I'll drink another one.
Fuck.
I'll try that again.
Okay.
I was wondering why I had to, had to put down a dragon.
Whatever.
I now have a cheetah's elixir, and that's my turn.
Okay.
Well.
I have a dragon that's gonna go now
that's on fire, off guard,
visible.
And quickened, apparently.
It's quickened, yeah.
Look, it was having
a fun day, okay?
Okay.
Okay, so you're in the mist.
I want...
I want...
I want...
That.
I want...
Sweet. Okay.
Dragon
goes.
And first of all, it is no longer
involved.
It is no longer visible.
This, however,
is not a good thing.
Speaker kind of gave you all the best of every world.
Because now,
each of you
have to give me
a DC 33 will save.
Okay.
As its frightful presence triggers.
How can I be frightful
if I'm paralyzed?
Oh, you can be afraid
and be paralyzed at the same time.
Don't worry.
Uh...
Success.
Uh, Auron.
We can go top to bottom.
I'll ask you guys what you rolled.
Uh, Ar drag, what did Baldric roll?
I rolled.
A uh, 12 for thirty-one.
Veena.
I rolled a twenty seven.
Uh, an eight.
One more time, please.
What?
thank you uh
Rahua
rolled a 20
18 for a 42
and Oren succeeded with a 41
sweet
so for those of you who failed
it will have applied to the appropriate
frightened status if you succeeded
you are only frightened one if you failed
you are frightened two
if you had crit failed you would have been frightened
um
that's cool
um that by the way was just
it kind of coming
out of um
it's it's invisibility
um coming out of his cage
and he's doing just fine
he is doing just fine
and he's
gonna move out
there
stop
um sorry I gotta move just a little bit
closer uh then I'm
gonna target
you Veena
why would you do that
here's
I'm gonna finger of death you
um so if you could
just give me a fortitude
safe yeah
no I don't wanna do that
it saw through your your
paltry attempts at being stealthy
as the Dragon wheels around
oh that's really
that's fine
that's fine that's fine that's fine
Oh, God, that would have been...
I don't know if I can succeed.
You're going to take
66 points
of
negative.
And
that's
going to be the dragon's go.
Oh, sorry. I actually have to
move it a bit closer.
It's 20 feet.
I just need to count for that. Okay, cool.
The rock dragon is above the tree
blasting down.
Oh, and it takes
three points of fire damage and makes
a check and recover
from the fire damage.
Bitch. Alright, Oren,
at the end of your turn, you can attempt
a will save. A will save?
Oh, yeah!
Ha!
Oh, I saw that one. Oh, I saw it too.
I'm going to hero point that
28. Yep.
Try to get out of this the best I
can. With a 16
for a total of 37.
Okay, so
that is going to be a
success. So, on
a success,
you reduce the remaining
duration by
one round.
So, you will now have two
rounds left. And it was
four total, right? It was four
total. Okay. Yeah, I'll make sure I got it
counted down too. Alright, that's my turn.
I'll click the intern button for you.
Alright, Veena.
You're up. Okay.
Owie.
Scared.
Um, it's
revealed itself. My line
of sight is not showing it.
Uh, is it still 20 feet above?
Yeah, it is.
It is. I don't know. Walls
are always like a weird ism here. I got it.
Oop. Oop.
There you go. Um.
Hmm.
And I have a question. How tall
is the tree?
Like, I don't know.
A good
30 feet up, probably.
Okay. I'm gonna use my-
Are you wanting to climb the tree to attack it?
Correct. I'm going to use
my first action
to nimbly scramble up
the tree, jumping from foothold to
foothold. Roll it, please.
And trying to get at this
thing. Uh,
giving you acrobatics or athletics?
Uh, let's do...
athletics,
because it's climb.
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
I think...
There's an action for it.
Oh.
Oh.
Climbing.
Okay. I will give you a
29.
Ooh.
Okay.
Okay.
um that's pretty good that's pretty good um so you're gonna climb up which is actually gonna
be cool because it's gonna provoke its tail lash so uh it's gonna take a reactive strike as you
climb up and smack you with its tail i feel no remorse because you knew it could do this from
before hitting me i click you i hit you hitting me all right i hit normal hit at least i got
hit yeah only for 27 points of damage okay could have been worse ouch yep and then you may you may
continue now so we're up in the tree okay bastard on level with its face staring at you uh and i'm
going to uh kind of faint uh as my next action
is going to kind of weave as if she's going to move one direction and then step to a different
branch and turn and i will give you a deception for fainting yeah please let me go to the page
i'm so sorry my turns are so long no no no no you're fine your cpu is going like a mile a minute
just burning itself this thing's getting warm oh that's not great but i do still get the panache
it's a critical fail
it's not you're good okay
it's it's not a it's not a success though but yes but i will i will gain a temporary panache
yep it's all i need
there we go
and then after faking out a couple of hits she's going to strike the right here
and hit okay just barely thanks off guard thank you off guard thank you off guard
call me an incredibly clutch thank you baldric yeah big sub big sub
off guard that's more ones than i'd like to see oh that's not very good
only 27 points of damage it'll actually take another 10 points because of mossy weapon
oh nice yeah orton's on the ground yay no you're not you're paralyzed you do nothing no i know i'm
on the ground don't try to part don't try to participate in this game when i've taken you're
out of this game i want to play go back to producing okay
i did the sound effects
yeah vena's just keeping it nimble keeping it quick and just
all right let's tango uh actively trying not to uh uh break down in tears because scary dragon's gonna die
it's true
uh you're frightened we'll go down by one though so that's good
oh joy joy he is so so far away
you do have hands this is the downside of splitting up sometimes yeah it do be what it is
uh with respect to these dragons
uh with respect to these dragons
uh with respect to these dragons
uh with respect to the dragons
with respect to the dragons
uh with respect to the dragons
Well, knowledge on the dragon, because we did fight this thing before.
Would we ostensibly know such...
I don't know.
I might be fishing in a very dry well right now.
But wouldn't we know if it's particularly willful or fortuitous?
Or am I going to give you a check for that, Thurston?
It's a dragon.
It's all of the above.
Oh, okay.
Like, dragons have particularly high in almost every save.
And any magical effects they're saving against, they're probably even more resistant to.
I see.
I see.
Yeah.
Well, I suppose I should be kicking myself down this dusty old trail here.
I'm going to just move on up about...
25.
25 feet.
Back into the mist.
And I can't...
I would have just given you additional quickening, but that's not really going to do anything for me.
So I'm just going to keep on moving, I suppose.
Yeah, most I could...
Like, I'm looking at all my spell lists right now and the ranges on all of them.
Oh, yeah.
I could definitely just sit back here and cast that.
Vita's going to die, though.
And at this point, it's not a price I'm willing to pay.
So I'm going to keep moving.
Go.
50 feet.
I'm going to get a little bit closer to Orin.
Come on.
I'd react, but I'm producing right now.
Oh, right after that.
Yeah, sorry.
I can't roleplay with you.
You can't do anything.
You can't play toys with me, dude.
That's fucked up.
Rahua becomes very fat suddenly and points at Orin.
He doesn't do anything.
He doesn't do anything.
He doesn't do anything.
That's...
This is my chicken, boy.
I brought him from home.
As a vibe check, Thurston, it's not me being mad.
I'm doing a bit.
I know.
I know.
I'm well aware.
No, Thurston, he's mad.
He hates you.
He's plotting against you.
Spice him.
Spice him now.
Every turn he's mad at me is just...
There's another round I add to paralyzed.
No!
Don't kill me, please!
Add another debuff on him.
Your producer lies to floor now.
No!
Persistent floor damage.
All right, Tannhauser.
You're a wizard.
Yeah, I am a wizard, aren't I?
All right.
We're going to begin the wizarding.
I am going to quicken this spell.
And in lieu of other options,
in lieu of grappling hook,
I am actually going to...
Oh, fuck.
Where is it?
Yes.
Translocate.
Yeah.
For one action.
And I'm going to translocate myself
at the top of the cliff over here.
I want a bird's-eye view.
Okay.
So that was for one action.
Now I've got two actions.
I see this fucking...
I see dragon-dragon over here.
He's about 60 feet down from you
fighting an elf in a tree.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I am going to then...
Wait.
He's fighting an elf in a tree.
Oh, never mind.
I can't.
Okay.
So in that case,
seeing him, I'm going to point at him.
To the ground, worm!
And I'm going to cast...
Earthbind.
And he's going to have to make me
a DC 32 Fortitude save.
Everyone, cross your fingers.
All right.
Also, could he target the dragons
with the camera pins?
Drum roll!
Come on.
Cross my fingers and my toes.
He succeeds.
He succeeds anyway.
So he falls safely to the ground.
Oh, no.
Even though he succeeds,
he's on the ground now.
So he goes down 20 feet.
Oop.
Take that.
Taste the pain.
We drift him slowly down like a leaf.
Well, actually,
maybe that was the bad time
to cast Earthbind, actually.
All right.
That's my turn.
Okay.
Awesome.
Baldrick, you're up.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, Thurston.
What I'm going to do
is I'm going to go into stealth again,
if I can,
if you will allow me,
to roll for it.
Yeah, for sure.
But I got him on the ground
and you're going to stealth?
Yes, because...
He's going to move next turn.
I'm going to backstab him.
Oh, okay.
Well, remember,
he's still off guard.
Oh, no, he's not
because of your debilitating bomb.
How long does that last?
Until the start of your next turn.
So he's not...
He's not off guard yet.
So he's not off guard yet.
All right.
I'll tell you what.
Because you talked me out of it
once again,
which you do often
because you're a power.
Thank you.
What I'm going to do
is I'm going to...
Let me see.
I can move 30 feet.
And the question is...
I'm just going to measure
something here.
So this is presently...
How many feet away?
This is...
90.
So if I wanted to move...
30 feet closer.
I have to go around the boulder, though.
15...
30.
Does that put me close enough?
This is an important question.
It does, actually.
That's still within 60.
So what I'm going to do
is I'm going to move,
because of the cheetah's elixir,
that distance.
I'm going to throw a bomb at him
and attempt to re-up
my debilitating bomb on that guy
and then I'm going to throw a bomb at him.
And I'm going to...
I'm going to draw and throw, quickly.
I'm suffering a penalty
because of Frightened.
Add misses.
Critical miss.
You got a hero point.
You got a hero point.
I do.
I'm questioning if I should use it or not,
because these things don't come back
as often as they used to
in the early days of the show.
Uh...
Yeah, I'll use it.
Why not?
Or I'll re-roll it with the hero point.
Go.
That'll be a 20 for a critical hit.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah!
All right.
I will accept this.
I will accept this bread.
Blow him the fuck up now.
Let's see if we will blow him the food.
Go my carbohydrates.
That's awesome.
Oh.
That's awesome.
One, two, and three for my fucking dice.
That's awesome.
Those are numbers in sequence.
And they suck.
They suck really bad.
All right, I'm going to do a stealth roll now, Thurston.
And he's also got the off-channel card on it again.
There we go.
My bad.
One second.
Wait, hang on.
Right now, you have to roll for that.
Why did it not mark debilitating on that this time?
Um...
I don't know, but I'll just...
I'll roll it.
Let's see here.
Also, I need to...
Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt.
I'm trying to put on the debilitating bomb effect,
because for some reason,
that didn't mark it this time.
It's all good.
It failed its save with the penalty,
so I've got the off-guard on it,
and then you've hit it with this bomb.
I was doing this great monologue of how you hit it,
and it's writhing around because of the flames on its back,
and it's off-guard.
Terrific.
There you go.
I'm going to roll to stealth now, if I may.
Absolutely.
Let's give it a shot.
That's a two.
It maybe sees you,
but it's got a lot of things on its mind,
so whether or not it's going to go after you or not,
who knows?
That's all I'm hoping for.
All right.
That's the end of my turn.
Next turn.
Okay.
A dragon.
The day god.
Dragon.
All me.
We're going to...
Let's see.
It's going to lay down and die?
No.
As a free action and die?
Never should have come here.
Why don't you lie down and bleed to death?
I am always saying this.
I'll never forget it.
I'll never remember it.
I'll never see it.
I've already forgotten.
I'll never know.
I'll never blow.
I'll never zoe.
I'll never show.
It's much better.
Okay.
One sec.
Dragon is going to spend its first action moving.
It's going to fly over to here.
It will land.
It will produce a breath weapon as it lands in front of you, Baldrick.
After your bomb hits it, it kind of locks over, flies around, lands, and opens its mouth,
expelling a torrent of rotten matter that is going to strike you, the paralyzed Orin,
and Rahua.
Put this in chat for you.
You're going to need a really awful reflex save.
Actually, that should be 35.
That should be 35.
Ignore that.
There's no reality.
You can roll it, and we'll just do it.
Well, I just lost it because of this.
Let me try that again.
That's fine.
15 gives me a 35.
Okay.
It says I failed.
That's because it says it was 37.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That'll be a success for you.
That will be a critical fail for Rahua.
Hey, Thurston.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'll get to you, Orin.
I'm looking at the rules of Paralyze to see if it affects this or not,
so you can deal with him first.
I don't say that in a mean way.
I say that as in, like, you know, give me time.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure.
For sure.
You want a pity point, Rahua?
You want pity?
I would quite like to go to Brazil.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's send you to Brazil.
Let's send you to Brazil.
Let's go to Brazil.
It's time to go to Rio.
Read the post-Brazil for everybody.
I've got to get the compendium up two seconds while I open it.
Top left, Hoki, if you click the person icon up there, that should
have a skull icon that it brings up as well.
Click that, and then click the complication.
It'll show up in chat, and then you can read it.
Perfect.
Thank you.
Close that down.
This complication from Makita is called You Are Growing to Brazil.
It appears that the time space is ripped apart, taking you to a land of
sunny beaches and beautiful views of nature.
It's so good that you don't want to go back to where you was.
You go back after what looks like weeks to you, but seconds to reality.
You want to go back to the Brazilian lands.
I'm going to Brazil.
I've decided that this fight sucks.
The universe says that I need a vacation.
I've done nothing.
He needs to resurrect Mit-Aya and open a portal to Hellanthus.
He needs to resurrect Mit-Aya and open a portal to Hellanthus.
He needs to resurrect Mit-Aya and open a portal to Hellanthus.
Hulky disappears from reality. Reroll your save, Hulky.
Okay.
Oh! Nat 20.
Yay!
Vacation, baby!
Here's how the complication works.
You're spending your entire next turn in Brazil.
That's okay.
You took a little vacation.
I'm taking a wonderful little vacation.
I wanna go to Brazil.
So, you're hanging out in Rio with Arnold.
So, is Brazil in the world of time a lovely place?
No, you are going to the planet Earth and to Brazil.
Time and space are ripped apart.
Rahuah is in Brazil right now.
Wait, wait. What you're telling me is,
is Rahuah has an entire 80s movie
where the first act was just, like, us fighting that dragon.
And, like, they got 15 minutes in the medieval setting.
So then he gets teleported to California
for the first time.
Or Brazil, or wherever,
to interact with all the people in the 80s
who then help him get home.
And at the last second, he has a tearful moment where he goes,
I don't wanna leave!
But then he has to to go save his friends from the dragon.
Is that what happens?
That's right. We're watching Smack and Me, but it's in Brazil.
Yeah.
Who's the kid in the wheelchair getting pushed off the cliff?
Does he learn Portuguese?
Yes.
Well, fuck off!
You don't even get teleported to somewhere or some space in time.
You don't just learn fucking new languages.
That's not how this works.
Well, but Thurston,
but Thurston, it was a nat 20 on the save.
And I could be gone for possibly months or years.
You know, Thurston, may I step in on this one?
I'll cover your back for this.
Don't worry.
Yeah.
Then, Hulky, the nat 20 means you critically succeed the check for it.
But when you go to Brazil, you get an Irish coffee.
Wow.
And that's how it came to time.
That's right.
I'm tying it all back together.
I'm saving Thurston's ass here.
Because we keep referencing things in Earth, and it comes here.
Brazil is a beautiful nation.
Brazil is a beautiful nation.
Good job, Thurio.
So I still have to roll.
Sure do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sure do.
Being paralyzed does not affect this anyway.
I'm just flat forever.
You're off guard.
So you take the off guard.
Yeah.
Well, that's just for AC, really.
Do a basic reflex, and that's a kill.
Hey, Thurston.
Oh, we're all getting pity today.
We're all getting pity today.
Got some of those points left?
Yeah.
How we doing?
How we doing there?
Let's take a look at the overlay.
I will leave this up to you.
May or may I not take a point from you?
Oh, I'll give you a point.
You desperately will want it.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll mark you down.
Let me do it.
Let me see what the new result is.
It's still just a failure for 32.
It's a failure.
It's not a failure.
Yeah.
Let me toggle this thing.
Let me.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Oh, there's three of them.
Obviously, because we picked three.
Okay.
I'm thinking of this one.
Chaotic Coinage.
I'll just...
I haven't read the whole thing.
We'll try it.
Chaotic Coinage from...
Let me see if I can get your name right.
Zenzanagi.
I think I got it right.
Chaotic Coinage.
Your character has found a coin.
A curse coin?
A coin you may feel compelled to keep.
A curse coin.
A curse coin.
A curse coin.
A curse coin.
A curse coin.
A curse coin.
A curse coin.
A curse coin.
A curse coin.
A curse coin.
A curse coin.
A curse coin.
Now you feel compelled to keep or give it to another to flip?
After being flipped the coin bursts into a small shower of chocolate coins waiting to
be potentially found again.
Hold or flip a coin or roll a dice and call heads or tails.
If you called it right, you get one additional gold piece plus chocolate coins.
If you called it wrong, you get nothing but chocolate.
Thurston, since it's just chocolate coins, if you wish to add a debilitating effect or
let's add some more.
fun to it with the
coin flip, I'm good to work.
If I could propose an upside,
would you propose a downside?
I'm going to propose
roll the dice.
Call it heads or tails.
That's not fun. We have to know what the stakes are
before we flip.
The stakes
are very important because
no matter what you get, you can't act
because you're still paralyzed.
There could be a bunch of chocolate or coins
that are in front of you temporarily,
but you won't get them because you're paralyzed.
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying
is they're just chocolate coins.
You want me to make you suffer more?
I'm literally saying
because it's just chocolate coins of an item.
It's not much of a complication
that affects us, so that's why I'm proposing
to you. Hey, you want to
propose something bad if I
fail the flip, but if I
win the flip, I get something.
Yeah,
you know what?
If you
get it wrong,
I'm adding one round of paralyzed
to you. Okay, it's for the opposite.
If I get the flip,
I'm no longer paralyzed.
No, you just get one
additional gold coin.
That's an even trade, Zoran.
Yeah, it is.
I used to sell cards, and I know
what a fucking sucker looks like.
That's a really good trade.
I don't know, man.
You know, most complications we've done
don't give you 50-50 odds.
No, but this person did a whole thing
to do, like, a coin flip.
Yeah, and I'm honoring it by letting
you get the additional gold
piece and chocolate coins that
you're promised. You're the one who came
in here like the Kool-Aid man being
make-me-suffer-if-I-go-back, so this is
what I'm doing. I am making
it entertaining.
Chat, is mine better or is Thurston's?
Oh, my God.
I'm putting it to them. Jesus.
Damn. Jesus.
Putting it to them now. Custody battle.
Wow. Custody battle over chat.
Wow. This dragon...
That's one pity point. Dragons bring
out the worst in us.
They do.
No, they're on Thurston's side.
I lose.
Is Thurston the Disneyland parent
of Chat? They want me to suffer.
Chat, Chat, checks in the mail.
Checks in the mail.
What does the chocolate coin do?
Anything?
It's nestled around
one gold piece.
All right, man.
The interesting thing about
that is it actually would have done
something,
but you're
paralyzed. You can't get it.
I don't know.
This bit sucks.
You suck.
I would like to care.
i would like to continue we're getting there man don't need to rush us let us have a i just had
i'm not russian but we did just kind of stun lock over a complication over whose would have been
better or worse i got you we're getting to it no words i got you uh so i'll do roll one d two and
uh i will declare one if it's on a one then i get my coin yeah
let's see if i do let's see if i see if i lose
yeah it's a one yippee yay your eyes like be down looking at the at the at the chocolate coins and
the one additional coin staring at it motivating you to stay to say you're still going to take
uh
failed so let me roll that for you involved oh man
no see see i was trying to do it thank you speaker thank you speaker you're welcome guys
both of you take 66 points of damage probably enough is the
same amount that the finger of death did to vina appropriate uh doing similar numbers
across the board you know you're doing similar numbers across the board you know you're doing
similar numbers across the board you know you're doing similar numbers across the board you know
you're doing similar numbers across the board this is evil as you are
uh but but you all see rahua just vanish out of existence
john oh sorry sorry i should not have ended my turn i forgot something very important
um i'll i'll i'll let me it takes the damage i'll make the recovery test now but it has one action
left because it's hasted uh it's still on fire so that's fine uh with its third action it's uh well
it's hasted action it's gonna take a strike on you baldrick okay i'm just gonna try to eat you
with jaws critically hit me apparently oh uh that should not be uh one second
that's what his back looks like no it is not a sorry it shouldn't be a crit that
the math was wrong on that attack my bad um and then i will roll the damage
let's just
make it
damage
as it hits you with its jaws you are taking some persistent rot as it bites into your side baldrick
and you feel a seeping wound with black pustules start to form and ooze around as
you are already coated in this uh we go to orin now orin you can give me a save
up yippee was it we'll save before i forget yep we'll say thank you
thank you
14 on the die for a total of 35. that will reduce it by another round
which will go with around this turn so you'll be free to act next turn yay
okay in my turn vena
yeah you do it yeah vena yeah
okie dokie so he is all the the way over there um and you're up in a tree and i'm up in a tree
and you're up in a tree and i'm up in a tree
and you're up in a tree
cool first action uh well how high is this rock
like five feet ish okay so i will still take fall damage if i jump onto it
i mean you could do an acrobatics check as you jump to kind of lessen it
and then not take damage really i would love to do that i would love to jump off this tree with a stupid backflip um yeah
i would love to jump off this tree with a stupid backflip um yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
Because that is my shtick.
Flippy!
Ugh.
Well, I will still give you a 31.
Yeah, that's fine.
You can acrobatics with that.
No problem.
All right, um, so where will that get me?
Like, if I were to jump here?
Yeah, down, and now you're down 20 feet, so you're like, well, you're five feet up.
I'll just remove that because it's kind of flush.
All right, first action jump there.
Second action.
I'm assuming this tree is also 30 feet.
Yeah, about the same.
I want to take a running jump into that tree.
Okay.
Using the momentum from jumping out of the first one, just kind of bounding around.
Do it.
Another acrobatics?
Yeah, I'll say acrobatics in this case.
Oh, I'm fast as fuck.
Not really, but that's a 32.
Place yourself.
All right, and so that'll be...
You want to be adjacent to it, I'm guessing?
Yep.
Okay, cool.
So, Veena, I don't want to say you...
Am I going to take another?
Yeah, you're getting a tail.
I did this to myself.
Yep, yep.
You did this to yourself.
I'm a melee player.
I can't even have...
I really can't have sympathy for you as it's like...
No, no.
Hit me with it.
Hit me.
All right.
I'm hitting you with the tail.
I want you to hit me with the tail.
Okay.
Phew.
I almost didn't get crit.
Oh, my God.
That's 26 points of damage to you, Veena, as you were smacked by the tail.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This thing...
This thing smacks you as you are gracefully jumping.
It doesn't cause you...
You realize that, like, if the numbers were closer, it might have caused you to fail and
fall.
So, yeah.
Whip me out of the air and send me tumbling off the cliff.
That would have been a really funny way for Veena to die.
I'm not going to lie.
Oh, yeah.
The knight is still young.
True.
Very true.
So, Thurston, does all of...
Do all of those acrobatics give me any panache?
Or do we...
We're doing cool and flashy things to get over here.
Yeah.
I'll say the jumping and taking the hit gives you panache.
Beautiful.
I very coolly and swashbuckly take a tail to the face.
And now I'm going to swing.
Mm-hmm.
Phew.
Oh.
Well, there we go.
Whoa.
Okay.
There we go.
There's the 20, baby.
Okay.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
The tail hits you, but you keep going right into the eye.
Yeah.
Well, let's see what the damage looks like.
She's damage searching, surfing like TF2 soldier.
All right.
Let's see that damage.
75.
I'll save the rune save, but I will take 75 points of damage.
That's a lot.
Yeah.
So, Veena just comes back.
Because you pierced this thing.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
i want to i want to expand based off what a co-worker sent me um based on this um they've
suggested that instead of just being temporarily in brazil we treat it like that episode of star
trek where picard kind of lives that whole other life and then like at the end of it goes back to
the enterprise like nothing has happened so i'll allow this and i will allow you to add portuguese
to your list of dope nobody knows what happened and and and there's yeah no nobody knows what
happens but i do need for the remainder of the campaign for you to occasionally not overdo it
but just bring up like like like memories of your time in brazil like you know family guy like this
is like that time in brazil when um can you do that for me elki crow
you
absolutely absolutely thirst him 100 awesome all right thank you for that
tanhasser you're up all right we're gonna do something kind of silly
all right hold on yeah that's good enough um hold on let me actually check is that good
enough yeah it's good enough i am going to uh spend one action and cast a jump
and i am
going to jump
to oh wait you just measured that that was okay
fuck okay it's all over
there's one more
uh boy
i don't want to spend another action to do this shit
okay
uh being 80 feet up is not the advantage that i thought it was
uh
this the situation has evolved
i have trends ? seven men have jumped into my stomach?
Yeah, the situation has evolved.
Oh, fucking bless you, speaker.
So to that end, I am going to...
Oh, God. Let's see.
So jump is just 30 feet.
And a solid ground within 30 feet of me.
Well, I guess I'd have to jump over here then.
So I think...
Why even cast it?
I'm not going to cast jump.
That's not going to help me.
All right.
New plan.
Okay, new plan.
Old plan gone.
New plan.
Old plan gone.
I'm locked in for the new plan.
I am so locked in for a new plan here.
Yeah, yeah.
You better be.
All right.
Look, this new plan is going to be so great
that cuts...
Back to some seed of Ruhu in Brazil for five minutes.
Absolutely.
Cut back.
All right.
Here's what we're going to do.
We're going to create...
You know what Tanezu is really good at making?
Cachaca.
Walls!
And we are going to continue trying to create a zone
where it is difficult for this dragon to fly around in.
You want to put him in the cup cage?
I do.
However, he is very far away.
He has not been flying very much.
And the battle has evolved very far away from my range,
which is very sad.
So I'm going to create a 50-foot long and 20-foot high wall here.
Let me not trigger complication.
So how wide is it?
It is...
How wide is this wall?
Which wall?
Well...
The wall of force.
Well, it's an invisible...
So it's not...
It doesn't have like a thickness is my understanding
because it's just a wall.
It's like a thin line.
Okay.
Because it's...
Yeah.
It's not like a wall in the tree.
It's basically like...
Yeah, it doesn't...
It doesn't...
It's not squares like other walls.
It's a line, essentially.
Okay.
Imagine if you drew a line on the lines of the grid.
That's where the wall will be.
Yeah.
So if you want to make a thickness...
Yeah.
The long will have to go up, turn, up, turn, up, and do all that.
Here.
I'm going to make that wall there.
And I'm going to have it to be...
I get to make it 30 feet.
So it's going to be 30 feet down.
And once it gets to here...
Sorry.
This position, it's going to begin declining until it gets to the top of that tree.
Oh.
Oh, my fucking God.
You're going to make yourself a little skate down thing?
Yeah, I sure am.
Kind of yabba dabba do it.
Also...
Oh, my God.
It is a ramp that I'm going to inform.
Vito, behind you I've made a ramp in case of an escape.
I'm coming for.
I'm going to call that out.
And...
This is the most, like, fucking bodged wizard plan I've seen.
And I fucking love it.
Like, literally.
You're like, haha, I've teleported to a tactical...
Fuck, the battle's changed.
Um, fuck, I don't have another tele...
Fucking wall ramp.
Okay, good.
We're back in it, everybody.
Well, it's like you're playing Worms Are We Getting right now.
So my plan has completely...
Oh, fuck, it's so good.
My plan has kind of completely gone up in smoke a little bit, at least right now.
So I will tell you what my plan was.
I have some fucking incredibly nasty booby trap spells on me.
I know you do.
And...
I know.
My plan was...
If this dragon was more airbound, I would be booby trapping all of this space and trying to keep the fight within this radius.
So it's...
And the only reason it did what it did was because, like, there were three people in template formation.
Yeah, so...
Exactly.
So it's just, like, by happenstance, it all went up in smoke.
Maybe it'll still happen, maybe it won't.
But for my turn...
I believe in you.
That was three actions.
Good luck, everybody.
You have a ramp.
Pass turn.
Three actions.
You have a ramp.
Baldrick, you're up.
All right.
Um...
So, despite my best efforts to remain not the target of this thing, I seem to be being targeted.
So...
What I'm gonna...
If I disengage from this, is it gonna try and hit me?
It's already used its reaction to hit Veena with the tail slap.
Okay.
In that case, I'm going back behind the fucking rock.
I'm going back behind the rock.
And I'm going to, once again, throw a bomb at it to attempt to debilitate it once again.
Sure.
Da-da-da-da...
Debilitating...
Throw my alchemy...
Go.
That's another critical hit.
There we go!
Damn!
Okay!
DPS is DPS.
Yippee!
Sure, uh, sure.
We are doing the DPS.
Uh, let me do that critical damage.
Please don't just be tiny numbers again.
I'll cry.
That's our two minute burst window.
Okay.
That's a lot better.
That's 50 damage.
Nice!
Compared to last round's 26.
Very good.
Okay.
Could you make me the, uh, DC 30 Fortitude, please?
Uh, thither.
Yes.
He'll pass.
Yes.
With a 12 to a 40.
Uh...
And I'm going to, once again, try to duck out of sight with a stealth.
Because I really cannot be hit like this.
I don't have the health for it.
Fuck!
It's a two again!
23.
I got nothing.
That's the best I got, man.
Huh!
Oh, and I take some pretty persistent damage.
Uh, let me just recover from that.
Wait.
I can't recover from that.
The rot seeps.
Yeah, you can.
It should be.
Make recovery check.
Oh, there it is.
Just go above.
You are still rotten.
13 fail.
13 fail.
Okay.
Okay.
Dragon time.
Yeah.
Dragon time.
All right, Veena.
Okie dokie.
Playtime's over.
Well, don't do that.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, wow.
That's going to open up with a Jaws attack on you.
Ow.
That's a Gat 20.
All right.
Well, guys, it was good.
It was nice knowing you.
It's time for me to take a big nap.
That's a point, Oda.
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you.
Great having you.
Wow.
That was terrible damage.
So you're actually still going to be alive.
About 66 points of damage, yeah.
It did 66 again.
It's a 16.
All right.
It's a six.
All right.
sign it did
that's a better band
we're at two six six sixes right now
well
um mina that's gonna do that
it's gonna take a second attack
it's gonna use um
it's gonna use one of its claws
to swipe at you
it's gonna hit you with that
it's gonna casually
swipe you for another
27 points of damage
and i'm down
put you at dying one
yeah down night night
um then
that was its second action
oh boy
its next action is to fly over here
uh oh
and for its free strike it gets from haste
it will take a map minus eight on baldric
with a claw
okay
that'll fucking hit me god damn it
and it will hit
he's dpsing back
it's a lot of damage
decent damage
it's gonna do 31 as it flies over to you
claws at you baldric
uh vina you've fallen from the tree
i mean you were on the ground
already but you've you've now like collapsed on the ground by the base of the tree
the dragon kind of rushes over to where baldric is and takes a whooshing swipe uh with its
claw causing a terrible gashy wound
um that is its go
uh it will take six points of fire damage and make a recovery check to try to get rid
of the ongoing fire
it's still on fire
it's roaring
it's against you baldric but orin you're still on fire
but orin you are now free to act what do you do
i'm pissing myself
that's a good uh
that's a reaction
yeah
i have reach spell don't i
i'd like to shit as a reaction
are you trying to pw your length
i do apologize for being silent here
uh the plan was to do respel to forget that's a whole another character i don't know what's going on right now
uh the plan was to do respel to forget that's a whole another character
uh the plan was to do respel to forget that's a whole another character
uh orin
if you'reؤ
if you're a little queer
probably give a 50 or 60 extra
let's get a full month of
respel
of which means
you get both
even in terms of
lit
all the way
versus
tr guild
orin
um
that's the mushrooms
something
something
um
who's that
it's just love
well i haven't whatever i should be considered prone uh no one would be paralyzed no one would
be frightened and so he's been action oh stand up second action he is going to uh use his wings
oh good i can do it all in one thing uh wings to swish over to vena okay i got you miss vena
and he shall treat wounds not do risky surgeries so i don't give you another dying value
he just kills me on the operating table yeah because if i do any damage to you it will like
it does that first you go down dying value you bring bot back up and it's like oh dear
that's right that's right let's see how i do with battlefield medicine
i succeed uh i'm sorry i'm getting a call for 46
oh yeah oh thanks buddy he's like i got you miss vena don't worry
are you unfortunately okay you're not paralyzed anymore uh well yeah thankfully i was able to
shrug it off but i have some bad news miss vena yeah it's the end of my turn is for who's
rahua you rematerialize with a kyperinia in hand
yeah
yeah
kyperinia
yeah
oh oh there's a dragon there that's pretty cool how was that before
so how's oh
did rahua have like a family in brazil in a week like like did you like adopt a family no we're
doing the whole picard skit so did like you have like a whole like adopted family that you've now
left behind i was i was about to say he went to brazil
i guess as we established it's both a bit of picard a bit of mac and me and a little bit of
brazil fair enough fair enough so more like a family adopted me as a kind of family type deal
where they remembered me i helped them like through their own struggles maybe there was some
kind of message maybe i fell out of a building oh god was it like is it kind of like quantum leap
like you're at like the like the youngest child's graduation and like the single tiers like that's
goes down your eye as you, like,
fade out of existence and return to this
hellhole fight. Yep.
Good. Perfect. Awesome.
I remember them fondly.
Yeah. They got that
diploma. You were so proud.
I was so proud of them.
They did.
They got
the highest marks.
Oh, right. My friends.
Chat, don't
pull this game of
if Rue had enough time to learn
Portuguese, did he get a long
rest? No. You don't get to play
that game.
But they got a point.
It wouldn't.
But anyway, he didn't take any
damage.
He hasn't done anything. Yeah, that's true.
That's true. That is true.
That's entirely true.
Now just say he gets a long rest. What's he gonna recover?
A single spell slot?
It could matter.
It could matter.
It could matter. It could very well
matter. What matters right now is please stop
this thing from killing me.
That I can do.
Thank you. Wait, hold on.
Let me double check that.
Check your math first.
Ooh.
So
I got good news and I got bad
news for you, Mr. Weathers.
Yeah.
The good news
is that I can put myself
in harm's way.
The bad news, of course,
is that I can't
I can't heal you with that range,
no matter what I do.
Just just try not to give it an easy breath
weapon to use on our friends, I guess.
Oh, wait, double check it real quick.
That 25 feet of movement didn't happen.
Yeah, because because if you interpose yourself
like that, I'm pretty sure it's just going to breath weapon
the all three of you at once and make you explode.
Yeah, that would be if you
know, it depends what its recharge was.
May I present a suggestion, Hokey?
Yeah, sure.
If you go the southern way of the rocks,
there's still the miss.
That is entirely true because I'm seeing this like,
you know what?
And so, you know, this will kill.
Here is that our two people, this is not blocked off here.
You can go through here where you were here.
You can just go here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's all 80 feet up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's just 80 feet to tell the wall is 80 feet up.
I see.
I see.
I see.
And you have four things movement with your haste.
So, oh, you're right.
I forgot.
I was wait.
There's that still apply in this universe to still get to our,
do I have all my pops?
Well, you didn't get the long rest.
So I'll let you keep the haste.
You know what?
Thurston see chat, see chat.
This is it.
This is why I was right.
No, it would have been, it would have been hasted from the capperine.
Yeah.
It's a, yeah, it's a different haste effect.
It's the natural haste effect that exists in Brazil.
That's right.
All Brazilians get an additional action that they can use to either stride or
attack all Brazilians can circle strafe.
Yeah, that's what we could, you know, my host family, which became my real second
family.
I can't tell you this in character because this is something I will take to my
grave.
Probably.
Uh, this is what we call the better horizontal haste move.
I get a free haste just for being there.
And because I did, Baldrick doesn't get to die immediately.
Uh, I'm going to cast a two action heal with my reigning two actions to stop him
from dying immediately.
I appreciate that you come back from Brazil, do the better horizontal movement
and then heal Baldrick because your adopted family gave you this important life
lesson.
They were watching.
They were watching.
You're the best.
Nice.
Hey Zoran.
Nice.
I got a question.
You get 69 health.
Big boy.
Thank you.
That will help me greatly when it decides to attack me seven times.
Zoran, I have a question.
Do we have a demographics for how many people watch the stream from Brazil?
Uh, I can find out on stream specifically, but I'll go through our YouTube
thing and find out.
I'm about to say, because there's a non-zero chance that the family that
Rahua ended up rooming with is one of our viewers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Terrific.
Yeah.
Let's see.
If you subscribe to the Patreon, Rahua might appear in your home.
Only if you live in Brazil.
Point my finger, your house.
Jesus.
All right.
Is that it Rahua?
I love the art that Jurz posted.
Oh no.
Send him to Brazil.
It's beautiful.
Send him to Brazil.
Send him to Brazil.
Send him to Brazil.
Get off.
Oh, my daddy.
See ya.
That is all of my actions.
It is all I can do.
That art is fucking amazing.
Thank you, Jurz.
All right.
Um, end your turn.
Give us Tannhauser.
Tannhauser, are you going down the slide?
I've ended my turn.
There he is.
Yeah, I'm going to slide down the slide.
Oh my God.
For one action.
Do you make the sound when you say, oh, my God.
Oh my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Do you make the sound, do you like, do or say anything as you go down the slide?
Yeah, sure I do.
I absolutely do.
100%.
I'm sorry.
Do your thing first.
I'll take it instead.
Yeah.
The sound I make is I summon the power.
Go.
And I cast Pollen Pods.
Pollen Pods, not Olin.
Pollen Pods.
Pollen Pods.
That's where you're going next.
That's right!
You're summoning Peronkeys!
Don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
I think your trip to Earth was in vain, Rahua.
I have brought you pierogies and bober kurwa.
Bober kurwa! He saws alasna!
Let's go and play The Witcher 3.
Can we play Cyberpunk 2077? I like that setting better.
No.
Okay.
I do too, honestly.
Okay.
So, we're going to create some pollen pods.
You did it again. I did it again.
That's what it is now. Change the name of the spell.
In a pollen pod.
Yeah, in a pod.
In a flushing white red.
Twice in a row has got to mean something, man.
Oh, my inner Polish pride swells.
My inner bober.
My inner bober.
All right.
Now that I've completely ruined all my momentum.
Fuck.
Okay.
Now I need to find a way to...
I'm going to mark some five...
Some squares.
Pollen pods, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, there's one here.
Where?
You can mark them yourself if you want.
I can?
Yeah, you can mark them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just put a square with the template.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Put a square using the measurement.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, one pollen pod.
Two pollen pod.
Actually, I'm going to move it under here.
Where's the...
Oh, there.
Okay.
Yeah.
Three...
Oh, they need to be 20 feet apart.
Yeah.
So, are those two 20 feet apart?
Yep.
These ones are.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Yep.
These ones are.
Okay.
Cool.
Three pollen pod.
Yep.
And then lastly, this is going to be odd, but I'm going to put this one up 80 feet
on the...
On this side of the wall that I made.
Right?
Okay.
So, it's an aerial pollen pod.
Question, speaker.
Yes.
The one square that you put right by the dragon here, did you want that to be on it
or...
Because right now it's adjacent to it.
Yes.
It is adjacent to it.
Okay.
I wanted it to be there as an option for one of us to attack.
If anyone attacks these pollen pods, they explode into 15 foot emanations of poison.
Gotcha.
So, it's your intent to get Baldrick in that?
Oh, well, of course.
I'm trying to kill Baldrick.
Mm-hmm.
Also, because they're not active yet.
It's an option that we have.
Baldrick will probably be caught in it.
I knew when I got the spell, there's probably going to be some amount of friendly fire.
However, if this thing moves in any direction, at least one pollen pod is going to explode.
So, I've created a deadly web for it.
I will then pass the turn.
I will also allow you guys to know that if any of you do any damage to these pollen pods,
such as the one over here...
Oh, my bad.
Oh, well, that's just there now, I guess.
I got it.
They will explode.
If anyone does any damage...
Additionally, if anyone goes adjacent to them, don't get close.
All right.
All right.
That's my turn.
Baldrick, you're up.
If you drop a bomb and run, you'll probably make something funny happen.
So, here's the thing.
Baldrick runs right into it.
I can't go adjacent to them.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
you want that to happen because then it's going to hit me you could get away here's here's the
funny thing here's the funny thing is you could clamber over the rocks toss a bomb and hit the
dragon and then the splash damage would actually hit this i know my my concern is succeeding at
the clamber but i'll i'll i'll have to give it a shot so it's all i have i wouldn't even say it's
not even an athletics check it's just like difficult ground so you're just having just
difficult having your move i thought you were gonna make me climb that because it was a bowl of
your nope okay well in that case i'll just i'll just go over yeah just double move that's all
i go there one move all right i'll throw a bomb at it now yeah it i thought i was gonna have to
climb that because it seemed like a pretty tall boulder i think you're still in range of it from
there though am i you might need to go another five feet because how big is the
radius yeah so you're in it right now yeah yeah you're in it right now how about there
yeah you're good you're good okay that's still only one move because i'm got a 30 foot movement
because of the cheetah elixir so let's do this again let's play this let's play alchemist fire
debilitating bomb uh poker that'll hit on a 12.
okay
all right roll uh roll damage and i'll do the fortitude save
six four and three for 25 damage on the target make the save it will succeed
25 then the pollen pod will detonate and then i will come up here and make the
fortitude save a pollen pod how hang on
so that's
now why is it doing you nominate a square so you can just nominate a square no no no
okay there we go okay so that's 10 feet away that's 20. what is my radius on this again
so it succeeds it will take adjacent because it's a splash so no i'm referring to my bombs
because i'm trying to remember how far my blast is it says you increase the splash on your bombs to
damage creatures within 10 feet or 15 feet if you have expanded splash okay expanded splash doesn't
catch this then because it would be excuse me yeah you need yeah actually yeah
thurston question
this this dragon takes up these nine squares right
yes when i'm throwing a bomb at it do i have to target the central point
yes you so when you are targeting it in this case because how splash works is
you're not really targeting like a square on it you are targeting it and the splash gives you an
area all right so it comes from the central of the thing man yeah exactly okay they're gonna try
yeah that's why you can get the one that's adjacent and then expanded splash lets you
which you have lets you affect all creatures within 10 feet of it instead of five feet so you'll charge your bailey with a ran flights and you'll sell that if you have to do so
feet which is just out because you need an extra five to hit this one that's the one i was looking
at was the one to the top but you will get this one it will succeed the it will succeed the the
save on the pollen pod so um speaker can you roll me 8d8 oh sure i could just roll damage right here
yeah sweet roll it
it will take wow that was jesus that's really good uh it'll take half of that and it is dazzled
it's weak now's our chance
you've clambered over the rocks you've thrown a bomb
i'm thinking about what i want to do next if anything
if you have a chance to do that
if you have another bomb there's another pollen pod right there
i do but that would require me to effectively miss it would that still hit so it's within
if you target the odd did the dragon take the initial alchemist fire damage only see the splash
i don't even actually don't even see that i even see it it definitely took it it just like yeah it
says it says right above persistent oh i'm sorry i'm sorry it succeeded yeah yeah right yeah
uh
you know what yeah thurston i'm gonna actually take a shot at the pollen pod to blow it up
because i'm assuming that has a radius of 15 right yep yeah basically um so it doesn't have oh no it
does it has an ac of five make an attack roll if you want you could target the one over here
so that way vina could potentially shoot this one uh that's not a bad idea depending on what
this thing chooses to do after that you know what i'll do that it's not like it's gonna back up and
do it anyway i got up so you said a dc5 ac5 yep ac5 so i'll just roll i'm gonna throw just a regular
versatile vial because i don't think it matters what hits it yeah it doesn't have it doesn't have
any hit points so yeah ah i roll a nine that's still gonna hit um it's really you just needed
a one so that'll detonate it the question
that is on everyone's mind is can this thing crit say let's find out
no no no so roll roll roll damage and it'll take half
oh not not me tanhouser right yeah tanhouser rolls it good roll oh very nice 40.
as the second pod explodes a verdant blast of energy goes out this public poisonous matter
that coats the back of this draconic being which roils kind of like begins to collapse
in on itself the like the sounds of almost muckish water as its wings try to flap but
one of the wings actually flaps into the ground and splashes on impact
the body rears up but one of its legs gives out it falls head embedding itself in the snow
and as it tries to bring out again its body is still on fire you see it dissolve into a pile of
muck and with that the dragon is defeated all of you have a moment to catch your breath and
look around and just beyond the sort of wall here uh where you saw the lever further just
off the southeast oran you can see around the corner it's the cave that you know you will have
to go into next time on rock grind yeah thank you everybody for another exciting episode of
rock ride we
you
did a dragon fight everybody like a dragon fight this is just like this is just like everquest
exactly so with that everybody thank you all so much you want to support the show and stuff with
that narrative declaration.com where you can find uh all of us and everyone's socials and
their projects that they do and everything else that is about us and how you can support the show
and keep things running so thank thank you guys so much and we will see you next episode
so long faro goodbye goodbye
goodbye everybody
brazil
you