Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
The Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem can be heard live on KBEAR 101 weekdays at 12pm MST. Viktor and Peaches talk about a wide variety of topics depending on the day and you never know what to expect!
[upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast.
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, post-holiday edition. What's up, Peaches?
You wouldn't believe it, Victor. [laughs]
I wouldn't believe it.
I sold some more stuff.
Oh, [laughs] I ... Okay, I would believe that.
[laughs]
[laughs] All right. What do you have left? [laughs]
Uh-
I have a bed. I have a, one pair of clothes
... a foldout chair, and a bottle of water.
[laughs] That's right. Living the, the minimalist lifestyle. What'd you sell over the weekend?
Um, I, I tried selling some clothes to a particular store. I'm not gonna name their, their, their name on the air here. But-
And they were like, [laughs] "We can't sell clothes this big."
Well, they actually didn't take any of them because, um ... Well, the thing is, is that on their website they say, "We take the latest brands," and all of that.
Mm-hmm.
"And we, we want you to show up with it in a box, not these trash bags." And it's just this-
Okay
... high pollutant crap that they have on their website.
Okay.
And so I, I, I go to bring in the clothes in a cardboard box that I had used while moving here.
Mm-hmm.
And I washed them beforehand.
Uh-huh.
So then I, I, I give them the cl- the, the jackets, all these old jackets that I no longer wear. They're all 2XL.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, I go back home because, uh, for some reason ... This is a weird policy with them, too. Uh, i- if you're doing it for the first time, like, if you're selling clothes to them for the first time, you have to stay in the store. That happened to me the first time I sold clothes to them-
Okay
... a couple years back. So luckily I didn't have to stay, 'cause there was about a 45 to an hour and a half minute, hour and a half wait.
Yep, I would've been out.
I went back home, laid in bed, was talking to my friends on Discord. I get the text, "Hey, your ri- your, your clothes are ready." I, I go back to the, the place, and they say ... Uh, this, the, the, the small little, like, 16-year-old girl that was handling the sales saw me come in, and she had, like, this, like, scared look on her face.
Who's this big oaf?
Right. No, no, she, she was the one that helped me beforehand-
Oh, okay
... uh, to help me get the jackets in there. And then she, like, turns around to this, uh, other lady who's a very obviously the manager, and she comes walking over, and as soon as she starts walking over and trying to do all this, like, this friendly manuever- like, these, this friendly movement towards me-
Mm-hmm
... I'm like, "They probably didn't buy any single one of these, did they?"
Yeah.
And she's like, "I'm so sorry. We're not able to take any of these, um, because they're all wet."
[laughs] And those-
You didn't dry them?
No, I dried them, but they were just slightly damp, but I guess that was, like, full-on drenched to them.
[laughs]
So I just turned around and left without even her finishing the sentence. I'm like, "You just take them and donate them or shove them up somewhere," [laughs] kinda thing, 'cause I-
Oh. [laughs]
I was so mad I didn't get any money out of that. [laughs]
[laughs] Yeah, you should've taken them back and tried Marketplace.
Eh, it's too much of a hassle.
Yeah. I know you, you do have to deal with a few things. I ended up buying a, a bicycle over the weekend. I had to go to, uh, Blackfoot to get it, and I was pretty nervous 'cause d- I talked about the last time I tried to go buy a bike. Was in Rigby, not a long drive from Idaho Falls, but drove out there and the rim of the tire was bent, so ...
Now, why is it that you're trying to buy a bike, Victor?
Well, everyone else at my house has a bike, so I figured it'd be good to go out and do bike rides, you know, get some exercise. So I, I needed a bike, so I've just been keeping an eye on market, find something decent. But yeah, the first one I tried to go get, the rim was bent, so the tire was, like, all rubbing against the, the frame about every second.
[imitates bike] Very annoying.
It's better than my bicycle story that I told you about.
True.
Where I thought someone was shooting at me, so I picked up the bike and ran.
[laughs]
It was just a tire popped. [laughs]
[laughs]
Now this, this bike, does it have a basket?
Uh, no, I haven't got a basket for it.
Do, do you have a bell?
No bell yet either. I, I ... It's got, uh, zero accessories. It's got a kickstand.
The one bike that I bought, it was yellow, the one that po- had the popped tire.
Mm-hmm.
At the time it was yellow. It said, "Fat Cycle," P-H-A-T.
Perfect for Peaches.
Yeah, perfect for me, right?
[laughs]
And then there was the basket as well.
Mm-hmm.
And then I got called a whole bunch of names by my friends for pulling up-
For him
... with that bike. I, I didn't ride it for a few years afterwards.
Oh, geez. [laughs]
And then, yeah, I, I rode it after with the flat tires. I'm like, "Why is it so hard to pedal this thing? Am I just that out of shape?"
[laughs]
My dad drives by. "Dude, your t- your tires are not inflated properly." [laughs]
[laughs]
So we inflated them, and that's when ... Yeah, I was riding it, pop. [laughs] So I thought someone was shooting at me, ran with the bicycle down the w- [laughs] down the street. [laughs]
Well, having a, a basket on your bicycle, it might not seem super manly, but it's handy. I saw a guy on a motorcycle leaving WinCo the other day with his grocery bags on the handlebars like they always warned us against [laughs] doing on a bicycle when we were kids.
Because if they get caught in the tire, right, it c- or they can get caught in something and-
Yeah, it can get hooked on something and, uh-
Unless you have one of those bikes where the handlebars are way up high. [laughs]
[laughs] Yeah.
But then it's like you're getting hit in the face by your grocery bags-
Exactly. [laughs]
... if the handlebars are that high. [laughs]
So I was like, "That guy needs a basket on his motorcycle [laughs] or saddlebags."
I should, we should ask, uh, Katie and Josh, how do they go grocery shopping riding a motorcycle? Is there like-
I'm, I'm guessing they just don't. They take their, you know, vehicles that are a-
And people can drive whatever they want, but that just seems like a useless vehicle.
A motorcycle?
Oh, yeah.
Well, you can only use them generally here maybe, if you're lucky, like six months out of the year.
Six months out of the year. There's no trunk space.
Yeah.
If you get caught lane splitting, that's illegal here, and then also, uh, one wrong move or one r- accident and you're dead.
Yeah. I mean, I think they get good gas mileage. [laughs]
They're, they're barely a car. [laughs]
[laughs] I'm trying to think of benefits. You know, you got the freedom. Freedom. You know, you r- got-
[laughs]
... just one man on the road.
I was gonna say you can make some friends in a, in a, in a local gang, you know, put the-
You get to-
... leather jacket on.
That's right. You could join the Cats.
The Cats.
My biker club, the Cats.And, uh, yeah, yeah. I got the bicycle, and I gotta tell you, you know, they say ... I mentioned this on the morning show, you know, you never forget how to ride a bike, right? Sure, you never forget, but you can sure get bad at it if you don't do it for a few years. [laughs]
There was a time-
I was, like, wobbling all over the place.
Yeah.
I'm like, "What's wrong with me? Why can't I ride this bike?"
There was a time, it was, it was the summer of, like, whatever, 2008 or something like that. My mom was like, "Okay, Brendan, you're gonna get on this bicycle and start pedaling around the neighborhood, get your exercise." I started pedaling, and I went right towards the curb-
[laughs]
... and I just j- fell over. Giant 12-year-old me just went right over the handlebars and landed on the grass, and my mom was so embarrassed she just took the bicycle back to the garage-
[laughs]
... and was like, "Never again." [laughs]
Yeah. I thought I was gonna crash into the canal, [laughs] 'cause you-
I just see you with, like, a cute little helmet on.
No, I ... And I should have wore a helmet.
You better.
You should always wear a helmet, everybody.
Especially when you're bald.
[laughs]
There's no protection at all. If you skid across that concrete-
Yeah
... you're gonna come in here looking like Freddy Krueger. [laughs]
Well, I, I wasn't exactly going at high speed. [laughs]
[laughs]
I was being very cautious. I felt like a little kid trying to learn how to ride a bike without training wheels.
Just imagine Becca and Emery just, "Come on, Victor." [laughs]
No, she ... Becca rode worse than me, so I felt pretty good. [laughs]
Oh. Wow.
It's the noon hour of madness and mayhem. I'm Victor.
I just had a panic moment. I'm Peaches. Um, I, I was thinking about it. I'm like, "Today's Monday, right?"
Feels like it.
And then I'm like, "Oh, no, no. It's Tuesday."
Mm-hmm.
I have an interview with Chase Wilson of Up Sulfur because that was supposed to happen last week, but the guy slept through his alarm.
Oh, sleeping through the, through the alarm. That's the best.
At 1:00 PM in the afternoon.
Okay. All right. That's a little different than when I do it. [laughs]
And-
1:00 PM?
Yeah, the record rep's like, "I'm so sorry." I'm like, "It happens. No big deal." I just-
Yeah
... I just had a, like, shocking moment. Like, oh, wait, did it already pass? I'm like, did I just skip him? But I looked at my, my Zoom meetings for 2:30. I'm like, okay.
Okay. You're good to go.
Thankfully.
Yeah.
All right. But I als- I'll also have the questions from last week when it should have happened, so I'm just gonna ask him those.
Yeah, my sleep schedule this weekend was all out of whack, and yesterday, uh, Becca woke me up at, I don't know, it was, like, 8:00 AM or something, and I thought it was 8:00 PM, and I was, like, furious. I'm like, "8:00 PM? I ... Why did you let me sleep so late? I have to work in the morning. The weekend's ruined." And turned out it was 8:00 AM. [laughs]
[laughs] I, I, I did a whole lot of, uh, working out this weekend. Um, I went on the, I went on the treadmill, did three miles, and so I was quite tired. But because of, with the new diet too, with no bread and no soda or anything like that-
Yeah
... my body's like, "Where'd it all go?" I mean, [laughs]
Three miles is pretty good.
Oh, yeah. It's just a bunch of walking. I was in the zone too. I'm listening to, like, a whole lot of angry tracks. I'm like, "I'll show them."
Yeah. Once I get my basement cleaned up, I'm gonna at least get back to walking on that treadmill. I took all this time to mount a TV in front of it so I could be distracted and entertained. Haven't used the dang thing once.
Well, now we have-
Not once
... we have free gym, gym memberships, you know, 'cause of here.
Yeah.
That, like, I s-
How many times you think I've used that?
0.0.
That's right.
Uh, but they ha- they have quite a beautiful basketball court. The court needs to be, uh, taken care of a little bit more.
Okay.
There's a lot of complaints about that. But overall it was still fun to get myself back into playing basketball, and I can tell you, once you stop conditioning yourself and you try doing it again for the first time in a few years,
uh, you, you really, you really get humbled.
Oh, yeah. Kind of like riding a bicycle-
Exactly
... like we talked about a little bit ago.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. E- even just trying to lift weights, I'm like, I, I gotta take it easy. 'Cause I, I would try doing these workouts previously before this-
Mm-hmm
... and then I would be just fine for the rest of the day. Then I'd wake up the next morning, and my arms could not extend all the way out.
Yes.
My right tricep still c- is still kind of, uh, a little messed up, but I've been eating a lot of protein, a lot of, uh, potassium, a lot of calcium too.
Well, good job, Peaches.
All the -iums. Magnesium.
I can't say I've been eating great, but I haven't been drinking any booze.
Me and my friends, uh-
So that's good.
Oh, good job. Good for you, dude.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, honestly. Yeah, good, good for you.
Mm-hmm.
Um, my, my friends, uh, Bryson and Charlotte, we went to, um, a, a local restaurant, and they got the cheese sticks and the pizza, and I'm like, "Can I get the salmon bowl?" [laughs]
[laughs] That is the best-
Which is, it's not the best thing to do.
[laughs] Can I get the salmon bowl?
I mean, it is good for you. You get omega-3s and all of it in there, but it's just like you're that one guy like, "Can I get a water-
[laughs]
"... and a, a, a bowl full of just lettuce a- and fish?"
This is the noon hour of madness and mayhem. What's up, Peaches?
Um, there's a conspiracy theory, uh, especially on TikTok. A lot of, uh, videos have been posted about this as of late. I'm sure you're familiar with Guy Fieri.
Guy Fieri, yes.
I've b-
He, uh, he's a cook of some sort.
Yeah, I've been to his restaurant in New York. The food's kinda just meh. It's overpriced tour- it's an overpriced tourist trap, for sure.
He did ... What's his show? Diners, Dive-Ins, and Dives, or-
Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.
Drive-Ins and Dives-
Yeah
... not Dive-Ins. [laughs]
[laughs] He's diving in the pool.
[laughs]
There's just shots of him doing that in the middle of him eating.
[laughs]
Well, no, supposedly eating, because that's the conspiracy theory, is that he never actually eats the food on the show.
Oh.
He'll motion to do so, but there was somebody who, [laughs] who saw him grab a thing of, grab a pair of chopsticks. He grabs the, the food from the plate, and then, like, g- uh, as the chopsticks are going towards his mouth, nothing is at the end of the chopsticks.
Ooh.
It's just him putting sticks towards his mouth.
Oh, man.
And they're calling it Swallowgate. [laughs]
Swallowgate. [laughs] I mean, I have, I'd like to punch that into Google, but-
[laughs]
[laughs] I don't know what's gonna come- ah, I'll punch it in. It's only Jade who has to deal with it. Swallowgate. Not Swallowgateway, Swallowgate. What is Swallowgateway? It's a place. Okay. Um-All I'm finding is something about birds. [laughs] You know, swallows.
The swallows are not real.
[laughs] The Human Bird watcher project presents Swallow Gate.
This reminds me of the time that I, I had two high school classmates. Um, one's, one was, her last name was Swallow.
Okay.
The other one was Wing.
[laughs] Was Wing.
So they would ha- Their slogan was, "We're swallowing the competition."
[laughs]
And that-
Swallow Wing the com-
And it came off a little
... Especially for high schoolers.
Yeah, you gotta think about these things.
And, and those two girls were not necessarily known as the ... Oh, actually, you know what?
Uh, one of them i- wa- was like the, the announcer or like a ... She was the digital s- analyst, digital something for the Texas Rangers. She just-
Oh, wow
... quit that job.
Okay.
But she was interviewing the players, like, "What's your favorite food?" And the other one like went to Stanford and survived cancer and all that. They're both very successful, uh-
Wow
... women. But yeah, it's just so funny that their slogan was that. [laughs] And every other high school boy-
[laughs]
... was like, "Ha, look at those two."
[laughs] Yeah, think about your nicknames, people. [laughs] Okay?
[laughs] That's why, that's why I didn't run for ASB. [laughs]
[laughs]
Peaches and Dream.
[laughs]
Or something stupid like that. [laughs] Peaches has a dream-
[laughs]
... that he can make high school better. Vote for him.
It's the noon hour of madness and mayhem. I'm Victor.
I'm Peaches, and have you been getting a lot of, uh, bald memes as of late?
You know, as a matter of fact, I have. Um, I've been getting a lot of those, and then I've been getting all these videos that pop up where it'll be some girl and she's,
like, making some type of item. Might be watches or what was the one I saw earlier? She was making some type of, uh ... Like, these displays that had, like, Ozzy in them or, you know, some type of a rock star, and then it's encased in that clear plastic. You know, what, what do they call that when you-
Acrylic?
Acrylic, yeah. So it's, like, encased in acrylic and all polished up and looks all cool. But these videos, every single one of them, they're all AI, and they'll have some girl and she's working at, like, a farmers market, and someone will walk up and be like, "No one wants to bu- no one wants to buy your stupid watches," and they'll break them. And then she's like, "I spend all this time," and it'll show her working in the shop creating these items. [laughs]
[laughs] But it's all, it's all fake, though.
I- it's all fake.
Dude, there was a video that I saw of a girl crying. She's like, "Uh, nobody wants to follow me back. I'm ... " She, for some reason, says her height.
[laughs]
She's like, "I'm 4'11"."
Yeah.
"And I, I live out here," and you can see her adjusting her, like, low-cut top to show off a little bit of a-
Yeah
... little bit of cleav-, you know?
Dude-
And all these old dudes are like, "I'll be your friend."
I feel bad for women online. Like-
And it's an AI video, so all these like creepy old dudes don't realize she's fake.
Yeah.
And so one guy was like, "I don't know how you feel about dating a 72-year-old, but I'm here for it."
[laughs]
[laughs]
But yeah, all these videos, the, the girls at the end will be like, "If you would buy my stuff, you know, give my video a like."
Oh.
And they're, like, crying. And the first one got me. First one got me. I'm like, "Those watches are pretty cool." So I gave it a like, and then, uh, [laughs] I'm scrolling the comments and some guy linked to on Temu where you could buy the same watches-
[laughs]
... for like five bucks. [laughs]
You gotta follow this, this other page called Voidstomper.
Voidstomper.
It is the most fever dream-esque stuff. I, I don't think you'll like it because you were telling me not that long ago that you were having dreams, like horrible dreams about endless hallways or whatever.
Yeah, I, I-
And-
I, I haven't had any for a while, but I'm waiting for the psycho dreams to come back.
Oh, please hold on. Let me show you this video.
They gotta be about to.
So this is one of them right here. You ready for this?
Yep.
It's just an old person in a wheelchair-
Okay
... with a tree, right?
Yeah, it's a old guy with a tr- oh, and the tree, [laughs] just ripping out of the ground. Yeah, see, those are the kind of dreams I have, Peaches.
But look, he just eats-
Oh, he's eating that person in a wheelchair.
So my-
And runs away. [laughs]
My favorite video from that, from that page is there was a guy strapping a GoPro to an old lady's head in a wheelchair, and he pushes her into this deep hole that has a whole bunch of teeth.
[laughs]
And it's, it's this giant monster's mouth. [laughs]
See, that's the kind of AI slop I'm down for.
I'm getting that-
Yeah
... and then I'm also getting, like, "I'm Celery Man." [laughs]
[laughs] See, what ... I wish I was getting those. I just get these weird ones with these girls crying about how nobody likes their products, or else I think these ones are just real. Some of them might be fake. Okay. Well, first we'll do some fake ones, the ones where these guys are, like, unboxing these robot women. Have you seen those?
Oh, no. [laughs]
And, and they're like AI women, but it ... They- they're, they're creepy, these videos, 'cause clearly the dudes are, you know, making, uh-
Lonely
... making, uh, partner robots, you know? And-
[laughs] This is my girlfriend.
Yeah, and then the, the ... They'll, like, open up their chest and, you know, there's, like, a big glowing heart inside. The other videos I keep getting all the time, these I think are real. They're just all these videos of girls just kind of standing there, like, looking hot, and I'm like,
w- who, who's watching these videos? And they'll have, like, hundreds of thousands of views, and filled with the creepy comments like you were talking about from dudes.
[laughs]
Well, this, this guy will do a whole series on Instagram called, like, uh, Old People Falling for AI Slop-
[laughs]
... or Old Men Falling for AI Slop.
[laughs]
And he'll put their comments after the video and then put their picture.
Oh. [laughs]
And it, it's real gross.
[laughs]
I hope you're not too, uh, too appalled to date someone who's 72 years old.
Well, and dude, like, I don't know. Even if I knew a girl and I knew she was real-And had met her in person and thought there was a chance. I don't think I would leave a public comment where everyone could see it going like, "Man, you're looking good."
There's a particular listener of K-Bear that, uh, posts these, like, provocative pictures sometimes.
We had a few of those.
And there was one with a, a, it was a butt picture, and it was like, "Working on them glutes," or whatever.
[laughs]
And some old, some dude in the comments was like, "That's mighty fine." [laughs]
[laughs]
And I look at his profile, typical, like, smile with like, you know, the, like the goatee that's just-
Mm-hmm
... all straggly. And then you can tell the girl's not interested at all 'cause she goes, "Thanks."
[laughs]
With like no, no punctuation, nothing. It was just-
No heart
... "Thanks."
Oh, dudes are so dumb. And again, I just feel bad for [laughs] women. There's this one, uh, one girl I'm friends with, and she was posting about her, uh, mental health issues, about her bipolar disorder and how it challenges her on a, you know, day-to-day basis. [laughs]
You got BPD? I'll give you the last letter. [laughs]
Basically, Peter.
[laughs]
She, I saw her post the other day. She's like, "Listen, dudes, um, you don't need to send me any pictures saying, 'This might help out with your BPD.'" [laughs]
[laughs]
I'm like, geez, she's just trying to express to her friends she's struggling right now, and stupid guys are like, "Oh, you're struggling. [laughs] I'll make you feel better." Like,
Jesus. [laughs]
[laughs]
What is wrong with people?
Oh, you got, you got multiple personality disorder? Is one of them like this, huh? [laughs]
Like, dudes, just stop it already. [laughs]
Hey, your mom just die? [laughs]
See? Yeah, exactly.
I, I put a wig on.
[laughs]
[laughs] Yeah. Like-
I put some lipstick on and a wig.
I'm in the hospital. I'm going through a life or death medical treatment. Ooh.
Hey, you wanna see me naked? [laughs]
[laughs] Got something that might brighten up your day in my hospital bed.
I know you just had your tumor removed, but you wanna see something? [laughs]
[laughs] Oh, we could get so banned with this.
[laughs]
The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com.
[upbeat outro music]