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Uplifting interviews, light-hearted discussions, and a sprinkle of humor—Holy Banter invites you into joyful, faith-filled conversations that inspire and entertain. Join Christina Steele, Associate Director of Adult Evangelization at St. Alphonsus Liguori Catholic Church in Zionsville, Indiana, and co-host Andrea Simpson, Coordinator of Middle School Ministry and Outreach, as they explore real-life faith stories, share spiritual insights, and occasionally laugh a little too loudly. Whether you're deep in your journey or just curious, there's a seat at the table for you.
Welcome back to Holy Banter. This is Christina Steele.
Andrea:And I'm Andrea Simpson. Today we are here with Daryl and Brenda Connect. They have been parishioners for twenty seven years, not as long as I have, but still pretty good record. And Brenda, Christina and I are both blessed and grateful to call her a coworker and friend. Christina let me know this morning that you have held almost every position in the office.
Andrea:Is that true?
Brenda:This one doesn't work out. I'm going to start working with Tom
Andrea:Barbourgog. Well, are some trees that you could take care
Brenda:of today. I'm going wait till that's cleaned up before I offer my help.
Andrea:And Daryl, to leave you out. I don't know you very well yet, but I do. I do know of you as the candy man because you taught my middle son. That does sound a little scary. My little son's RE class.
Andrea:And so he would refer to you as the candy man.
Daryl:Yeah.
Brenda:I don't think they ever knew his real name. Mind you, I'm always the one who bought the candy. He just handed it out and he was
Daryl:the And
Andrea:that sounds really about You guys have known each other for a long time.
Brenda:We have. Would have to go back really far to remember a time when I didn't know him because we grew up in the same hometown, went to the same parish. I've known him and his whole family pretty much my entire life.
Andrea:And that was Greensburg, Indiana.
Brenda:I grew up in a family. Both sides of my family were Catholic, very involved in our parish. My grandparents, my parents were both on different councils, readers, all of that. We attended mass every Sunday, every holy day of obligation. The thing that stands out to me most about my upbringing in the church, as I reflected back over the years, was we had a very strong community there.
Brenda:I guess I've always known church as community. Those people over the course of my life, they're just always the ones that showed up. I thought everyone had that. When you're young, you feel like whatever happens to you in your life, that just happens to everyone or that's just the way it is. I lost my mom to cancer when she was 44.
Brenda:So she was diagnosed at 42 and I was late teens at the time. And I just remember everyone showed up, you know, friends of ours in the church, but also just people in the community. They were bringing us food, gifts, all of those things. My faith journey early on was always very positive. I don't know that I always took it very seriously.
Brenda:Like in high school, I would tell my parents I'm going to Mass on Saturday night, and there were times I would go in and grab the bulletin and take it home to make it look like I went. Brenda. And then my mom one time said, well, who had mass?
Andrea:And I was like, I
Brenda:don't know. So when I tried that again, I grabbed the bulletin and peeked in and was like, father John. So then I would go home and I'd be like, here's a bulletin. Father John had the mass. And so I did do that a couple of
Daryl:Then she'd be like, well, what was the homily?
Brenda:I'd be like,
Andrea:hold on, I'll stay longer next week.
Brenda:And I also remember when I was younger, always pulled that,
Andrea:I'm not feeling very good today.
Brenda:And then my mom would say, well, if you're not feeling good today, that's fine. But then you're, you can't do anything the
Christina:rest of the day.
Brenda:So I only, I only had that happen maybe once learned the hard way as I had to sit in my room all day.
Andrea:You said you lost your mom when you were in your teens and that the community showed up for you. What kind of impact did that have on your faith life?
Brenda:I, my mom was diagnosed when I was 18 or 19, and then she passed away when I was 21. So in the course of that time period, I saw my mom really lean into her faith. She listened to a lot of Catholic music. Like I would hear church songs playing in my home because that's what she would listen to. Or she really prayed the rosary a lot.
Brenda:A lot of our parish friends would come over and they'd pray with her. They would give her rides to her doctor's appointments. They would bring her food. They would just come visit because my dad was still working and so he didn't want to leave her alone. So they would just come over and visit.
Brenda:So I just watched all of that play out. Now I was at Bloomington at the time, so that was pre Facebook and FaceTime and all of that. I feel like my parents kind of tried to protect me from a lot was going on. They wanted me to go do my thing, And then I would come home and like, would witness things like, oh, maybe this isn't going so well, you know? And so, but I did get a witness all of the community that pulled together and it wasn't just, like I said, it wasn't just our close friends.
Brenda:It was other people that I didn't really know, but they just showed up. I think that's the biggest takeaway is that people just showed up when we were in a time of need. So there was a lot that happened in that time period. Right before she was diagnosed is when we started dating. Then she was, you know, going through her treatments and stuff for a year.
Christina:I know how you met, but how did you start dating?
Brenda:This is up. Well, we didn't really become friends till high school. And just on a little side note, my sister is married to his older brother. Oh my gosh. That's cool.
Brenda:So, a whole another one. What
Andrea:a fun family.
Brenda:Yeah. I mean, it has its pluses and minuses. Have to say mostly pluses. So I worked at a shoe store and a grocery store at a time and he would always just come in.
Daryl:It was between my sophomore and junior year at Purdue. And I came home and I worked for a factory and I had to drive this van around and run errands sometimes and pick up supplies. So, like, I'd stop by the shoe store, peek in and say hi. And finally asked her out on a date. We went to see Batman.
Daryl:She had just graduated from high school. She was going off to IU. All summer I thought, we're going to go our separate ways, but let's just have fun while we're together and thought she was cute. That was Still think she's cute. Then I went back to my junior year and she went for her freshman year and we kind of just kept talking.
Brenda:And so then in 1992, that was our big year.
Daryl:It was
Brenda:the spring of that year is when I found out I was pregnant. Oh, we had been talking about getting married, but we were not officially engaged yet. We did decide we're going to just go ahead and we're to get married. I would have been going into my senior years. I took a year off.
Brenda:I did go back and finish. So we got married in July '2. And my mom at that time was in remission. She was doing really well. So I had no clue that it had come back.
Brenda:My mom passed away November '92.
Andrea:Oh, wow.
Brenda:So it went very quickly from there. Cause at our wedding, she was really perfectly Yeah.
Daryl:Beautiful. Yeah. Yeah.
Brenda:And then our daughter, our first born was born on '92. That was a true gift from God. Have one sister and I had my dad and I, It was really hard. It was
Christina:really a hard time. Yeah.
Brenda:And I was angry at God, I would say, and not, I, it was just, it was a difficult time.
Andrea:Yeah. To go through so much change in that short of amount of time.
Brenda:And you know, it's funny because well, we lived in Milwaukee at the time too. I really felt secluded.
Daryl:He didn't really know anybody.
Brenda:Yeah. We had one car. He would leave to go to work. I would always joke. I tell Molly to this day, Molly's my first born.
Brenda:Sometimes we'd both just lay on the bed and cry. Oh, don't know what to do. And I did feel like I was angry with God for kind of a long time.
Christina:Honestly, just because you had to lose your mom at such a young age.
Brenda:Well, she was supposed to be their help. Yeah, exactly. Come and help with the baby. And I'm like, what am I supposed to do with this child? Or was wonderful all the time.
Brenda:And honestly, my dad was too, even though he was, he was fine.
Andrea:I'm sorry, Daryl.
Brenda:Kind of blew my dad out of the water because Daryl's very active in our kids' lives. But again, I felt we did feel very isolated. We were not really going to church at the time. And I not that we weren't not going, but we weren't a member of a parish. We would occasionally go to mass if
Christina:timing was right. And so, how'd your parents react when they found out you're pregnant?
Daryl:Oh boy.
Andrea:Oh, we're going right in there. So this
Brenda:is another funny story. His parents live across the street from my parents.
Andrea:Oh my gosh.
Daryl:Not growing up. Okay. At the time when we were, yeah.
Brenda:His parents were just moving in across the street. So we were like, okay, who are we going to first? And we're like, we're going to your parents first. So we did his parents first and the deal was he was going to tell his parents. I would tell mine.
Brenda:Yeah. So he went and he held up to his end of the deal. And he told his parents and then we walk over to mine and I'm like, we're just sitting there and he's looking at me like, I'm
Daryl:looking at her mom and dad, and I'm waiting for her to start talking and nothing's coming out.
Brenda:And then I start crying.
Daryl:And then I look over and she's just balling. I'm like, Hey, I guess I gotta So, break the news but it went fine. It did turn out it really was a blessing.
Brenda:Cause otherwise my mom would not have been at my wedding.
Andrea:Yeah, exactly.
Daryl:We wouldn't have her pictures at our wedding. Yeah. Like I talked about at the parish revival, how you can't see the dots connecting moving forward. You can only see them looking back how everything connected. As she was going through the year 1992, I didn't go through what she did, but I think about this a lot.
Daryl:It was one of those years where I had graduated in December. I took my first job in Milwaukee.
Christina:And that's a hard transition.
Daryl:Yeah, bought a car, moved away, got my first apartment. Then everything just starts happening. We find out she's expecting. We have to plan a wedding. Then her mom passes away.
Daryl:And then we're in Milwaukee and we don't know anybody, other than the people I work with. And then Molly's born on Christmas. And when I look back at all the things that happened that year, you guys probably have seen this footprints in the sand thing, where you look back and you're like, Jesus, where were you? And just like, well, that one set of footprints you saw, that was me carrying. I think about that all the time because man, he just picked me up that year.
Daryl:It was just like, I got you here. Because this is a lot.
Christina:How did you feel when you found out Brenda was pregnant?
Brenda:Totally over the phone. Because he was in Milwaukee. Yeah. Oh my gosh. You know, so
Daryl:Okay, we can do this. Right? It was we had talked about getting married. We had been dating for over three years, and it just accelerated everything. That's all.
Daryl:But wouldn't change it for a bit.
Brenda:During that time, we were so young and naive and I didn't understand grief at the time or how grief worked. And neither did he. And so back when I did marriage prep, I would do pre KNA with couples and they're always in this honeymoon phase. And I would always hear about all these couples that had this honeymoon phase. We just didn't have that time.
Brenda:So I always would tell those couples during our pre K you don't know, you don't know what lies ahead. So there's going to be hard times. I think for us with, with my mom, he thought that we would go to the funeral and do that. And then all of a sudden the next come Monday morning, things would just be kind of back to normal. I kind of did too.
Brenda:I didn't realize that that could last for
Andrea:Yeah, in your twenties. Yeah.
Christina:Yeah. So how was that first year then? I mean, you're mourning your mom, you're in this strange town. How long were you guys in Milwaukee?
Brenda:We moved back that following summer.
Daryl:Just given the circumstances, I kind of felt like I needed to get her back closer to family. Molly was just an infant and Brenda needed help.
Brenda:We actually moved in with my dad for a bit. After a couple months, we were like, we have got to get out
Andrea:of here. Oh my gosh.
Brenda:Yeah. Then we moved to Indy and went to Seton actually, but never joined. Never. That's a young adult thing. Yeah.
Brenda:Involved. And then we moved to Avon. And I think this is where I started realizing how important community is. We don't know anybody. No one's really talking to us.
Daryl:It didn't feel like Greensburg. Nothing wrong with it. Didn't feel like home for us.
Brenda:Yeah. And I remember leaving Mass one time and we discussed just leaving the Catholic Church. Because there were Kingsway Christian Church. I don't even know if that's still there. We just heard it was a very vibrant.
Daryl:Yeah. And it was close. Away from our house. We were like, we just don't know. There something else out there?
Daryl:Right? Right? It was just a curiosity thing. Probably everybody gets that, but fortunately it didn't stick. I'm a researcher by nature.
Daryl:If I buy anything or do anything, I research the heck out of it. So, always being Catholic, I've always been like, well, what else is out there? Is it better? Is it different? You know, how is it going to land with We found out pretty quick it didn't land as well as the truth, I would tell people, it's fine to go out and search for the truth, just be looking for the truth, and it'll generally bring you back to the Catholic Church.
Christina:Did you always have a pretty strong faith growing up?
Daryl:I wouldn't say strong faith was just expected of us growing up. We went to church every Sunday. I wouldn't say we talked about it a lot at home. It was just part of life. We went to St.
Daryl:Mary's Catholic School. I served. It was just kind of what you did. My mom was a devout Catholic in that she prayed the rosary, especially as her kids got older and we probably started doing things we shouldn't have been doing. Like we'd get the subliminal guilt trip and we would walk through the front door after we were supposed to be home two hours ago and she would be sitting in the
Andrea:front room. She's three rosaries in
Daryl:at Yeah, that she's got a Bible open, she's reading the Bible, or she's doing the rosary. It was that constant reminder that she was praying for us. Couldn't control everything that we did, but she was praying for us. So she probably prayed me through a lot, not just me, but my brothers and my sister as well. That was the best gift she gave to us, and it's a gift, you know, she passed five and a half years ago, and now I think my dad's kind of picked it up seeing what she did, and every time I talk to him, he says, I'm praying for you.
Brenda:That's nice.
Christina:Yeah. When in your relationship, did faith start becoming center of
Brenda:your You know, it's interesting when we decided we're going to, we're going to move to Zionsville. So our house was being built and that summer before we were like, let's just go up to that church to get a feel for it. And the first time we went, it was really different because it was in the old, where the church hall is. So it was a little more circular. We were used to a very traditional church.
Brenda:Not only was it circular, but it was very tiny. And there were chairs, not pews. Never had I ever been into a church with chairs and not pews.
Andrea:And there
Brenda:were no kneelers. So we actually left and I remember him saying, was that a Roman Catholic?
Daryl:We had to find the sign out on the corner as we turned around and like, yep, it says.
Brenda:We kept going. And, when we moved in, I went to register my second child, Ben, for preschool at gingerbread house and who would be his teacher, but Aggie Weber and Judy Gallagher. She is no longer with us, but they, she was a very active parishioner here too. When I think of that community and acts of generosity, I picture those two women because they really wrapped
Daryl:us up
Brenda:and they were so kind. Would drop off at daycare and they'd always give us a hug. I saw you at mass across the
Daryl:And Bay on
Brenda:she, they would come over during mass. They would make it a point to walk over and talk to us, acknowledge the kids. They just made us feel really welcome. And they introduced us to Joe and Beth Segala who used to be longtime parishioners. They would come over and I bet they watched our kids at half a dozen to a dozen times.
Brenda:They would come and say, you need a date night, you guys need to go out.
Daryl:That was nice because our parents were hour and fifteen minutes a
Andrea:week
Daryl:or so, and they just didn't really like to travel that much. And so having Joe and Bev as pseudo
Brenda:Grant, And they would bring games and cookies. They would have the kids over. Here's the community that I they've been remember in those early days here in Zionsville, feel like we have finally found home. Like, it felt like what we were used to growing up, and that's what I wanted for my own kids.
Daryl:So
Brenda:then it was even funny when he turned four top of his list, he wanted Mrs. Weber to come to his birthday party. Oh, she came to his four year old birthday party.
Daryl:She did.
Andrea:That's adorable. That is so sweet.
Daryl:I would say the other couple was, were Bob and Michelle Walters. Like, that's the first couple that I met. We were standing in line outside of Weitzel Hall to get coffee and doughnuts.
Brenda:Well, I think before that, they invited us to go.
Daryl:Did they?
Brenda:Because we had kids the same age, they were like, Why don't you come? And so we went with them.
Andrea:That's nice.
Daryl:And if you know both of them, and especially Bob, just so outgoing and welcoming, and the fact that somebody was talking to us at this church had made it easier to come back again the next week.
Brenda:We ended up doing vacations
Daryl:with We ended up doing vacations with To this day, thirty some years later, it is what? Twenty seven. Most of the people we do things with are parishioners here. Yes, it's parents of our kids from when they were growing up, so many of them are parishioners here as well. And I think that's just seeing them at Masses on Sunday and then doing fun stuff during We've the gone on vacations with folks and everybody knows we're going to get up, whether we're in the British Virgin Islands or somewhere else, we're going go to Mass on Sunday.
Daryl:That's just what we do. It's important to us.
Brenda:Michelle invited me to be a part of Mom's Group, which was
Daryl:that was big.
Brenda:Oh my gosh. And then there was also a babysitting co op at the time, which was not St. Alphonsus, but it really was mostly St. Alphonsus peoples. There was this huge community of help and support and, but it was, it was them noticing and approaching us and inviting us, honestly, is what kind of was a game changer
Andrea:for Yeah.
Daryl:I have so many connections. I'm just sitting here thinking. You know, I worked with Terry and Lynn Sparts for a while, for a number of years. Terry and I got to know each other through parish council and finance council. You know, one day he just said, Hey, would you like to come over and work with our company?
Daryl:And he was, I think you would do a good job. And so I worked there for three or four years. Wow. Right? And Terry was such a great guy.
Daryl:I mean, to still look around Mass today and miss him walking around.
Brenda:Well, you had an interesting dynamic with them because Terry was Daryl's boss, and then Daryl was Lynn's boss. That's funny. Used to
Daryl:laugh about that. Not the best spot to be in, but looking back, really
Andrea:had a great time.
Daryl:Yeah, and then we end up just in this last year with a number of things that happened. We were able to buy Mike Weber's business, and what a blessing all that was, right? I mean, doesn't happen if we're not here and get to know them and everything else. So it was just really God's blessing on all that.
Christina:Yeah, even for them, knowing it was in good hands.
Daryl:Yes, right.
Andrea:Brenda, when did you start working for the church?
Brenda:So I volunteered here a lot at the time and this was right as father Doug was kind of on his way out and father O'Keefe was coming in. I was volunteering and he, father O'Keefe brought in Kim Overmeyer. And when he brought in Kim, a lot of what I was doing volunteer wise fell under her. So Kim and I were working together in my volunteer position. And one day she just kind of said, yeah, father wants me to hire an RE coordinator.
Brenda:Daryl made the comment. Well, you're always over there. Why don't you just get paid for it?
Andrea:Exhaustive. Husband has said the same thing.
Brenda:Was like, I don't know what an RE coordinator does.
Andrea:It's like, It's basically what you do now.
Brenda:Kim is like, I think you could do it. You took me under her wing and learned a lot. I think that's when I started realizing our faith is so much richer and deeper than I ever knew. And we kind of started diving into a little bit more learning. We have a lot to learn.
Brenda:There's a lot we don't know.
Daryl:We went to Catholic grade school. I remember CCD in fifth grade, the nuns taught, we would run out of mass. We had time to go down to the quick stop at the bottom of the hill, grab candy, and bring it back up. You know, I remember sitting there just getting through the class, that's all I was doing, And so, like Brenda said, there was so much for me to learn, and I do feel like I'm a lifelong learner. These past fifteen years, I've enjoyed diving into the number of books and the great authors and wish I wish I had this when I was younger, but then again, I didn't have the aptitude or the desire to know it then when I
Brenda:was younger. Didn't even really know it was out there. Yeah. Know we were missing something. And I remember RCIA and the person I was sponsoring would ask me all these questions and I'd be like, I don't know.
Brenda:I don't know myself. You know, was learning along with her and then you became involved in the RCIA program, and doing a lot. And I think that helped you a lot in your faith too.
Daryl:Yeah, it did. The tipping point for me though, was 2002, and it was CHIRP. CHIRP was just
Christina:Christ getting renews his parish.
Daryl:Christ renews his parish, was just getting started. There was a small group of guys who got it started. There was this big invitation to attend, we're getting this started in our church, And I really signed up just because I liked the guys that were putting one on. It wasn't like this desire of, Man, I need to get better. I was just like, You know, these guys are doing it, and they're pretty cool guys, and I think that would be a good weekend.
Daryl:Then I took my name off the list because, and as you guys know, I'm a golf fan, and it was during Ryder Cup, and Ryder Cup is like a highlight golf thing. It's where Europeans play Americans. And I was like, I can't miss that. Then for some reason, got back on the list, and back then you'd have your bag and you'd have your pillow. Oh.
Daryl:And they'd come to your house and they'd pick you up because they didn't want anybody pulling into the parking lot and then deciding against it and leaving.
Andrea:Wow. Oh my gosh. So Brenda snuck your name back on the list. That's what you're telling me. She wanted a weekend.
Daryl:Yeah.
Brenda:No, I had four little ones.
Andrea:I was gonna say, yeah. How you doing? He wanted a weekend. Yeah. So weird.
Daryl:And it came at the perfect time because I did have four kids, we didn't have Jack yet, and Gracie was just a newborn. When you start having kids, there are so many things out of your control, and you want the best for them. For me, I need to live a life that they can look up to, and I need God's help, really. I went, it was a great weekend, we had a good first day. Sometime overnight, Father Doug talked about the sacrament of reconciliation at Mass, and then you know it's coming, right?
Daryl:Like, you know, they're gonna make me go to confession, And I hadn't been since maybe 13.
Christina:So Oh,
Daryl:twenty some years, right? I don't want to go. Mike Einters was sitting right beside me and he was like, Oh, you're going. Like, And it was like they say about first
Andrea:Wow, this is hardcore.
Daryl:Was like they come out, they walk lighter, I did. I was like, Oh my gosh, I didn't know what that was gonna feel like. And then that night, I don't know how else you explain it, just the Holy Spirit just descended, you know, on all of us because I woke up and I was on fire Sunday morning and just couldn't get enough of it. And that was really a turning point for me.
Brenda:He's always been a leader of faith in our home. And so when he came home for that, he was like, you're doing the women's weekend. I've got the kids. Like I, and that was a lot. Right.
Brenda:Like, but he was like, I can do this. In my mind, I'm like, I get a whole weekend to myself and they're going to make me food. I'm in, sign So me the, I kind of went with that mentality. But again, it was a wonderful way to grow in faith community. It just sucked me right in because all these wonderful women just really supported each other and have a friendship.
Brenda:Even to this day, even though we don't get together anymore, there's just that kind
Andrea:of
Brenda:connection that stays with you.
Christina:You're bonded. Yes.
Daryl:I do remember that because we were coming from a lukewarm place and then I went to chirp and then all of a sudden, like I wanted you to have that. Not that I wanted you to be like my mom, but I wanted you to become prayerful. Oh my gosh,
Andrea:I chose the wrong words. You might want to edit that out.
Brenda:I love his mom. I love his mom. I am no Ruth Kinnett.
Daryl:But it was, I wanted her to become very prayerful and be that example for our kids. And she just has completely surpassed that. Now she's the one pulling me up all the time. It's her faith in prayer.
Christina:That's wonderful. Did you find yourself doing the same thing as Daryl's mom? My son's in college now. As they leave, you do start kind of really leaning more into prayer because that's about the only thing you can do.
Daryl:Oh, for sure. We're seeing a lot of prayers right now for them.
Brenda:Yeah, really do have moments that just bring you to your knees, and you're like, I really can't do anything but pray right now, and so, for sure.
Daryl:The seed has been planted. That's what we keep reminding ourselves.
Brenda:While you can do it.
Christina:You said your favorite saint is mother Mary and St. Monica.
Brenda:Why is that? When Daryl talks about those connecting the dots, Mary, because I lost my mom so young has been a source of comfort for me. Someone to go to in prayer. Who better to model your life after? I've been blessed with another group of women here at the parish who get together to play the rosary.
Brenda:That's the real source of comfort for me. And then having that group of people to do it with that again, that you can be vulnerable and intimate with and share knowing that you're praying the same prayers together. I've just always thought of her as someone I could go to who understands the struggle. I mean, I think cause I never had my mom to call and Daryl's mom was wonderful. She had an open door.
Brenda:She was so lovely. It wasn't my mom. And so I, I just felt very drawn to her. With St. Monica, I would say that is a little bit more recent, just watching how she prayed for her son and how she persevered and oh my goodness, she just never gave up.
Brenda:It wasn't a quick answer, but she just kept going. That's just another model of someone that I would like to be like.
Andrea:So you're not coordinating Ari anymore.
Brenda:I am not.
Andrea:And when I started here almost three years ago, you weren't here. No, I was on Yeah. A little You came back. What made you come back?
Brenda:I'm just really passionate about St. Alphonsus. I love what this parish has to offer. I love the community and just very, it's very near and dear to my heart. So I have to laugh sometimes Jack will say to our other kids, well, we stayed after mask because mom and dad had to talk to their young friends.
Brenda:No, tonight they were talking to their older friends because I feel like we've been blessed such a wide range of people that we've encountered here.
Andrea:It seems like your goal in life is
Christina:to let other people experience what you did in that community.
Brenda:I do because it's, you know, it's about showing up for the people that are in your life and doesn't have to be your closest friends, but they're, they're people in your community and they're people in your parish and just looking around and showing up. I think if we all just led that life of generosity and it doesn't have to be grand helping an older lady unload her car at the grocery, just being that person to someone else and helping them in their time of need. I think because I benefited from it so much when I was younger, I just wanna be that for other people and I want other people
Andrea:to do
Brenda:that Yeah. So
Andrea:I'm glad you're here and able to be the person that thinks about the people on the fringes because you were a person on the fringe. You know, you'd thought about leaving and found a new place here and found community here. And I'm grateful that you're here to think about those people every day and make that your purpose to have them join the fold with you.
Brenda:I'm glad to be back too.
Christina:You've been through a lot. What advice do you have for people on how you've been able to get through the last thirty four years
Andrea:with so much joy. Yeah.
Brenda:I mean, you both seem very happy and what I think I would say it's never, it's never easy, but it's always worth it. Every relationship and marriage has their highs and lows. There's no other person I would rather do it with because I know he's got a good heart. I know he loves me with all his heart. I know he loves our kids.
Brenda:No one's going to love them more than he does. I always think there's something better, right? The next stage is even going to be better. Having those mentor couples that we've had, the Webbers and the Sagalas, watching them, you know, we know it hasn't always been easy for them either, but you just make it through. And I kind of have a funny story with the Sagalas because they were dancers.
Brenda:You could come to Oktoberfest and they would be out there and they could dance. Wow. I remember her saying to me, you guys need to learn how to dance because then even if you're really mad at them, you can still dance with them. You don't have to look at them. And so I remember Tara and I were like, we need to take dance lessons.
Brenda:We tried. We were so bad. We stopped. It was just very cute.
Daryl:I did bring something. This is kind of an anchor for me for our marriage. I have anchors for the job and the way I work. I try to instill character and do things with integrity. This one I got a long time ago.
Daryl:I think I found it on, it was those Catholic men who wrote, this goes back probably twenty some years, but I paraphrased it to make it applicable to she and I. Says, Brenda, though mine in a sense, is not mine for now or even mine forever. She is mine to safeguard, to protect, to spoil, to cherish, to delight in, to encourage, to bless, to live out my call to raise children with. But none of these are the ends which our relationship seeks. Ultimately, is mine to lead to heaven.
Daryl:I don't live up to that all the time, right?
Christina:None of us Yeah.
Daryl:It goes on, she'll not always be mine. My love cannot outlast her existence. At some point, she's gonna be taken home to heaven, and to that end, she will belong to God, fully and totally to God's heart. One day we will say goodbye to one another, and one of us will be left behind. One day she will go to a love that will swallow my love whole.
Daryl:If I fail to get her to heaven, then I know where she will go, in that place she will never taste love again. So I have to live my life with the levity of knowing that one day she will be mine no longer. There will be days and even seasons when I will wonder if I have what it takes, or even if I signed up for this. But I have to pray to not let my tank become empty. Let my love of Brenda be the fruit that pours out of our relationship with God.
Daryl:Frequent confession and frequent the Eucharist. Remember the end. Cherish every day. Delight in every part of her. And one day hear those words, well done, good and faithful servant.
Andrea:Oh, dear. Have
Christina:you heard that before? Know about that. No. You need to frame that. That's really beautiful.
Daryl:That's in my nightstand drawer.
Andrea:Beautiful. You want me to go through that when you get home. Before we started recording, Daryl made a promise that he had a joke that he was gonna share with us.
Daryl:Okay.
Andrea:Andrea doesn't forget anything. Do not. Like a steel trap up here, So
Daryl:I think this is a funny joke because it applies to so many times in my life. So, there's this guy, and he's going to the courthouse square. He's got a court, and he can't be late. Otherwise, he's gonna get sentenced, and it's not gonna be good. And as he gets to the courthouse square, he's looking for a parking spot, and he was just like, he can't find one, and he's looking at his watch, and he's like, Please God, I know I haven't been a very faithful person, I haven't prayed, but if you will find me a parking spot so I can get into my court date on time, I promise that I will start coming back to church on Sunday.
Daryl:So he drives around the block, still nothing, and he's looking at his watch. He goes, Please, Lord, okay, I really need this parking spot. Like, if you give me a parking spot right now, I am going to go to confession, I'm going to amend my life, I promise to get to church every single day, please Lord help me. He drives around another block, and all of a sudden he sees this car parking out. He throws up his hands.
Andrea:He goes, Never mind, I found one. Geez. And Daryl, is this why you were parked illegally at Mass the other day? I heard a rumor.
Brenda:Behind Kate.
Andrea:Behind Kate Shay. I heard a rumor you're really far.
Christina:Well, before we wrap up, Brenda has talked about how you are quite the evangelizer at work.
Brenda:I don't think you do it intentionally. No, no. You just live your life authentically and are not afraid to share things.
Daryl:There have been some cool things happen. I worked for a guy a long time ago and he'd always want to meet very early in the morning. And one morning, know, can't, it's Ash Wednesday, I need to go get Ashes. And it turns out he was Catholic, but He he didn't goes, I'll go with you. So he went, and we went, and then it kind of became a joke because we ended up closing this gigantic deal Then every he attributed us to going to Mass.
Daryl:So then every time I was in town, he'd be like, Are we going to Mass? And so we kind of just did that, right? He probably was going for the wrong reasons, but he asked as he was going. And then I've just had the good fortune of running into guys who, I don't know, just somehow it comes up, or they feel comfortable in talking about their faith to me, and so when we have a good dialogue about faith, and they're not all Catholics, sometimes they have just a good Christian faith, but it's a chance to talk about Catholicism, and yeah, it's just, I don't know if I'm a good evangelizer.
Christina:I mean, is evangelization. It doesn't have to, people think it means you're standing on a street corner, but you're just a witness in your office. You just said you value character and integrity.
Daryl:Fully days of obligation, you know, like if I have to be late in the morning or leave early for work to make sure I get the mask if I'm traveling, you know, I just let people know.
Brenda:Think Tom said he doesn't say, Oh, I have to leave early. He tells them why. Yeah. You know, just, and it's not to make anyone feel bad or it's just, this is what I do. Just plants little seeds.
Daryl:But by no means does anybody listening to this should think I'm perfect. I'm
Brenda:no, all none of us are
Andrea:We know you bribe all the children with candy, Daryl.
Daryl:I always say, I'm one of the biggest sinners, which qualifies me to be a member of the Catholic Church.
Andrea:Exactly. Well, we are so glad that you guys came to chat with us today. We had a lot of
Brenda:fun talking with you. Really?
Andrea:You did. Oh man. Spread the
Brenda:word. Yeah.
Christina:It's been fun getting to know you both and really, I always, it's just neat to hear your story of how you met when you were children and grew up together.
Daryl:It was meant to be. Yeah. It's really sweet. Sometimes I have a hard time making decisions about things. And God made it easy for me on this one.
Daryl:From that phone call, it was like, this is the one you should marry. So I was like, yeah.
Brenda:That's awesome. I never thought about that. Cause you do research stuff like it could have taken a
Daryl:I might long not still be married.
Brenda:You might be
Daryl:still If I hadn't gotten that call, Hey, we're having a baby.
Andrea:Yeah. You know, I don't have enough money or what am I? Yeah. Consumer reports says. I guess we're going
Brenda:for You only knew. My dad
Andrea:is a Consumer Reports guy for sure.
Brenda:I have stories. I won't say.
Andrea:Save that for work on Thursday. That's awesome.
Brenda:Well, thanks.
Daryl:Thank you so much.
Andrea:Thank you, guys.