EP 111: How Bartending Can Teach Sales – Neil Rogers' Sales Lessons from Behind the Bar

In this episode of Prospecting on Purpose, host Sara Murray sits down with Neil Rogers, a sales expert, author, and business leader, to uncover how sales lessons from behind the bar helped him refine his communication skills, master client engagement, and become a top-performing salesperson.

Neil, the creator of "Everything I Learned About Sales I Learned Behind the Bar," shares how his early bartending experience shaped his approach to building trust, reading people, and handling objections—skills that later fueled his success in sales. While not all his insights come from bartending, sales lessons from behind the bar taught him the power of first impressions, active listening, and adaptability, all of which are crucial for closing deals and forming lasting client relationships.

He also breaks down why the most organized salespeople outperform others, how a positive mindset fuels creativity and problem-solving, and why taking ownership of mistakes builds credibility. Whether you're in B2B or B2C sales, this episode is packed with actionable strategies to help you sell smarter and connect with clients on a deeper level.

🔑 Key Takeaways: ✔ Sales lessons from behind the bar—how hospitality enhances sales success. ✔ The power of active listening and reading customers' unspoken needs. ✔ Why organization and time management separate elite sales pros. ✔ How a positive mindset fuels better client interactions and higher conversions. ✔ Applying hospitality-driven sales techniques to build trust and close deals.

If you're a sales professional, entrepreneur, or business leader looking to master sales lessons from behind the bar, this episode delivers insights, strategies, and real-world applications to help you sell with confidence.

#SalesLessonsFromBehindTheBar #SalesMastery #ProspectingOnPurpose #RelationshipSelling #CustomerExperience #SalesStrategy #AuthenticSelling #BusinessGrowth

💡 Connect with Neil Rogers: 🌐 Explore more about Neil's work: Everything I Learned About Sales I Learned Behind the Bar🔗 Connect on LinkedIn: Neil Rogers📖 Get his book: Everything I Learned About Sales I Learned Behind the Bar

👟 Learn more about Alec's Shoe Store: alecs-shoes.com

🎥 Watch 'The Happiness Advantage' TED Talk

🚀 Tune in now and discover how bartending skills can transform your sales success!

Connect with Sara

https://www.saramurray.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@saramurraysales LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saramurraysales/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saramurraysales/

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how do we then take that relationship to the next level

are you made that greeting they're here for something

ask him a question and then shut your mouth

listen what advice would you give to people who

who do fall on the sword and need to get back up

well first thing I would tell you is take ownership

you're gonna be seen make sure you're helping again

being hospitable right make sure you jump in

even though it's not your customer

talk to them bring them bring Adele

help them up and he said the last thing you'd say

now listen to this if you forget everything I told

never avoid an opportunity to keep your mouth shut

Neil Rogers is an author speaker

and business leader with over 37 years of experience

in marketing and sales generating revenue

and guiding clients through highly effective

and result oriented marketing campaigns

Neal has been owner and VP

of marketing and sales at Rogers Marketing

for 26 years he has built his career and business

leveraging both old school and new school

marketing and sales techniques

Neal shares the skills and tools

Learned during his early working years as a bartender

that LED to his success as an entrepreneur

and industry leader

this all comes up in his book Bar Tips

Everything I Needed to know

and sales I Learned behind the bar

I am so excited for our conversation today Neal

welcome to prospecting on purpose

there are great to be here

I'm so I mean

the parallels between bartending and sales

I think I've always known it

but haven't had anyone

articulate it in the way that you have

so I'd love to just let's just start right there

bartending leading to sale skills

tell us about that so

a little backstory to the whole notion of the book

came around during you know what

and I won't say the word

trying to keep myself from losing my mind

I guess you're in 2020 very ugly okay okay

I guess I the um

the the premise of the book came a few years earlier

unannounced to me and so we were um

we were on we live here on a golf community science

I salute and it's not it's nice place

but but the um and so

my daughter was being honored by the chamber

as one of those

people under 30 to watch

the 30 and the 30

you know

the chamber they've got an award for everything

so of course it's good doting parents

we went the guy who brought five guys

Burgus in New Hampshire was the keynote speaker

don't and he was my kind of speaker

you know I went to Salem State University

I flunked out of two community colleges and and

and finally got my act straight

that's how I talk I'm not gonna talk to you like

I Learned how to talk from Harvard

and so he was like right in line

with me as I know

I like this guy

and he started going about talking about

you know bring

he brought me up again

he brought five Guys Burgers New Hampshire

and if you've ever worked in hospitality before

is this thing called pre meal

you know get the team together

we talk about what's out what's in

you know what the special of the day is

and obviously they had a different type of menu than

anything that we ever did

but so but his rara speech was when something like this

we're not in the burger business

we're not in the fry business

we're not in the shake business

we're not in the soda business

we're in the hospitality business

I looked at my wife and said

I've never left the hospitality business

I've been bartending on the road for 30+ years

and that I didn't quite

really get the whole scope of what that meant

but as a general rule you know

treating people treating me properly and following up

you know simple things

which the book is completely made up of

the little things so that's really where it started

and then you know

again during

you know what for one of the things I would do

and I still do it to this day

is I reach out to people

and do some sort of conscious act of kindness

every day and the reach out sometimes is that

especially somebody sick or as parent that say

whatever it is you know

it's and it really quite frankly

it's not like a low look at me it's a selfish pursuit

I'd like to do it uh huh

so I reach out to this guy Terry McMahon who is a um

who who um who is a Mass

Mutual General Agent here in New Hampshire

and wildly successful

but his success took him to behaviors

where he needed a new liver hmm

so he's 18 months off of his new liver

completely spun his life around

you know wow

we talked all this stuff

I knew he was a brilliant guy wasn't

but you couldn't get through it with the rest of it

the persona that was you know

and then also the the abuse but he um

he encouraged me so you should write a book

so the heck am I gonna write them

what have I done

I've done sometimes that some things that I'm proud of

especially as it relates to special needs

education

and all that stuff that we've done for our son

and those that those that like him

but I said you know what

I started thinking about this thing

and I remembered that I remembered that comment thing

and you know what we have about

we never left the hospitality business

and then I I done some research on that

to find out how other people use hospitality

in their business to engage their customers

hospitality like things

so we the third chapter of the book is that

and then I just started I just started brain dumping

and I started thinking of these things

so the chapters go the importance of a proper greeting

mean true proper greeting

a smile a handshake a hello

how are you doing today

I went into a store the other day

and I feel like retail has lost this

and it's something as simple as just acknowledging

you're there I mean

there's been twice in a row recently

where I've been standing at the counter

clearly ready to buy something

and not even an acknowledgement or hey

welcome we'll be with you in a second

I mean I

I appreciate that you're talking about the books

full of little things

because the little things make a big difference

and I I am so excited that you're talking about this

because that's something that I think we've forgotten

and so I appreciate you bringing it back around

so again as I go through these things

it's like yeah okay

and by the way

it's like everything that I do the reason why I did it

I'm sorry I remember to do it myself

right nobody Sarah

that's 1,000 yeah

that's

that's a credo I take all the way across the board

so uh yeah

so that is some something as simple as that in your

it's a classic case

why aren't you just looking up out of your phone

uh huh to say

and here's the thing about it

if that's the type of work you're gonna do as a

as a teenager as someone during college

you know whatever it may be

that's the fun of doing the work

uh huh the connection piece of people helping them

solving their issue

Sarah's coming in for a new pair of jeans

uh huh what cuts do they have these days

what do they look like you know

the way I the way I was with the last time I went into

I think I actually went to Levi's uh

that wasn't the last time I bought jeans

I did buy Bonobos jeans the last ones

but I walked in I said listen

I'm 65 years old I'm in great shape

but I don't wanna look 25

what don't wanna look like I'm trying to look 25

what do you got for me and she was oh

okay and she brought me and so was perfect

so so there was there's some hope

I mean it's not again oh

I totally agree I totally agrees

and so the bar is kind of low right now

it's not that hard to stand out

it it really truly is a matter of fact

if you uh when we link in together we LinkedIn yet

I think so yeah okay

and I did a whole

I did a video on in a blog post on the

on this local store here in town called Alex Shoes

you walk through the door

you get greeted you could you go to a department

what are you here for boom boom

let me show you the good the better the best

you know and then oh

let me fit you they break out the

you know what that thing's called

measuring tape measure it's called the Brannick

the Brannick yeah

it was it was designed by a few of the guys for

I think it was Charles Brannick

Charles at Brannick

and yes buy it

it took it took them years to design it

but it measures this way that way the whole nine yards

and so they'll they still use that

you can't get that on Amazon

hmm yeah

you know and and so and yes okay

you get to return the shoes on Amazon

okay great

but then you get to return the shoes

which isn't casual cause I mean

as easy as they do make it

the line at Amazon to return them is

you know 40D

it's sometimes 30D I never have good luck with closer

shoes on the internet

but I I um

one of the things that you said was really

interesting about so first we will link the

what was the name of the Sir

Alex shoes Alex shoes

I'll choose all LinkedIn

the shout outs for the episode of

People Wanna watch the video or check it out

um you would

so formal greeting or of thoughtful

warm welcome was one of the first steps

warm welcome more Malcolm okay

check we can do that what's next

the next is okay

so now this we're we're not even leaving chapter 1 yet

but we'll go chapter one of the tips right

chapter first two chapters of my story

kind of the quasi hero story

you know what I mean fucked out of college few times

yada yada yada

makes a success of himself

and marries a wonderful woman that aids

and all of that for sure majorly um

but then how do we create

how do we then

take that relationship to the next level

are you made that greeting they're here for something

ask him a question and then shut your mouth listen

the old old

old take of old saying that old mentor boss of mine

you know it they'll um

he um him and his brother were very instrumental

and giving me a lot of great sales

knowledge and what not

working with them for 8 years was wonderful

and the Bill had some great ones

and he even been that

this one came from his dad who was an attorney

but he would get us

he would get us together and this is when we were in

I was in the athletic footwear apparel business

so we were manufactured to represent

my favorite job of all time

we had blast I was young cause I was young too

and so he'd get us all and huddled up in a show all

right everybody in all right

all right we got to cover up the end

we five or six booths we get a cover

we got a BP place

you're gonna be seen make sure you're helping again

being hospitable right make sure you jump in

even though it's not your customer

talk to them bring them bring Adele help them up

and he said the last thing you'd say

now listen to this if you forget everything I told you

never avoid an opportunity to keep your mouth shut oh

that's interesting isn't that a good one

never avoid an opportunity to keep your mouth shut yes

I love that one of these one of these

it also helps frame it it helps reframe it

as something that you're taking an action on

even if the action is no action

you're being quiet that's cool so um

so anyways that's how you

so now you move in the relationship along

what are you here for that LA LA um

you know and you're discerning what they're

what they're what they're what they're looking for

you're not you're not assuming

you're not being the over product person

you know but you may make some now

it may be if they're kind of dumb for you

may make some suggestions

uh huh you know what you might do

if somebody walks into your bar and says yeah

I'd like a drink what are you thinking

I don't know do you like vodka

uh huh do you run person

do you like a good Margarita

do you like it up do you like it with salt

right so we're getting to the

we're getting to the solution and of course

that's a different type of solution obviously

but so then yeah so there you are um

so that's that's tip number one

and so now you've kicked it off because

and then the old adage

which we associate didn't make the book

but they made the guidebook

the old adage we associate with that

what might be what Sarah

you only have one opportunity at this

what do you what is that a good first impression

didn't make that one up did I

yeah but you know what

but it's alright

cause I think it applies to so many different areas

and

I like that we're using some of the B to C examples

or business to consumer examples

because it translates so nicely

to business to business if you go to a restaurant

and you sit down and no server comes to you

what are you gonna do get up and leave

and you probably won't go to that restaurant again

so

I really like the hospitality lens that you're using

to look at that um

what may I ask what bar did you work at

so at 19 years old

I worked at a place called the Full Sail

in Whitehorse Beach

and this is when I was kind of floundering

kind of flunked out

and didn't know what I was gonna do

and again came from this

seventh of eight of this Irish Catholic family

with no love my parents

no axe to grind

and my siblings were were were were all in good shape

and let's just say I wasn't too coachable right

and so so I just didn't know what I was gonna do

and so I that my first attempt at school was just

I'll just go to school

I had no vision no passion or anything

but I wind up

I want to want to working at a restaurant called war

had been doing it all along

washing dishes but then we get the bussing tables

and I want to be in a bar back

and then I will look at the

then I wound up watching the bartenders

I looked at those that that's pretty cool

and that was the only reason it wasn't a career move

it wasn't this you know

maybe girls would like me back

I don't know it was like

it was whatever was not

it was not about any type of progress right

and it wound up being

so I decided I want to get a barge up

so the first barge of a guy was

place called the Full Sail

and wait was Beach Plymouth Mass

which to this day we have a play

we have a my wife and I have a place there

and if you're of a certain age down there

I probably pour you a drink

I was gonna say 19 at the bar interesting

um well

it's not funny because I think about

I've only really

recently been connecting these dots together

um I

my first job was at the Park Meadows

Country Club in Park City

Utah and I was 14 and I didn't like to babysit

and I asked my parents if I got a job

would you drive me and they said yes

and I usually catch a ride home with someone

from the club who could drive

cause I was 14

but I just went in and I met the snack bar manager

and I was talking about my work experience

which was volunteering with um

with our golden retriever as like a therapy dog

and I take her with my mom to hospitals

and I brought that up

turns out this woman has a therapy dog too

so I get the job at 14 I worked there for six years

I loved that job

but it's funny because now in my business I'm

I'm in the hospitality space

I'm in the luxury space

and I contribute a lot of those lessons Learned

I like silly 15 year old Sarah

she moves in with doctor so and so at the country club

and it wasn't that hard because we're all just people

and I feel like bartending is a very similar

similar aha

realization of it doesn't matter who the other

person is you're both humans

and I just I'm so grateful for that early job

because I do think that that gave me a lot of

little habits that I wasn't expecting

and now it's kind of making sense

but yeah

so yeah so that's that's kind of how kicks off

and then you know things like

you know when you're in sales

you know the next chapter is the most organized wins

oh I like that too alright

so t is the so now I move

so later on that's 19

by the time I was like 23 I think um

I was working a place called tears in Boston

and that was a high powered really popular

you know you had to know your stuff type please

I mean it was not for the faint of heart

you got on the bar on a Friday night at 4:00

and you did not stop till 1

1:30 2:00 in the morning

and so

it was like

it was like an inquisition to get the job too

and but he is was set up perfectly to this day

it was right here the slanted Racks to my right

it was Smirnoff absolute stole

next level was Doers JB and Cuddy Sock scotches

then it was whiskeys next level down we got to a point

and then of course

you had the speed rack in front of you

and that was right there to my left

there were the beer taps once again to this date

we had a wine tap

delicious stuff for the one and then it was Basil

Heineken Miller

Mill Light

and then we have back slight and dark in the back

but it was set up for success

we were we were we were

we were prepared to take a take on all commerce

now at some point we the first night we put 4

four people behind the bar and one bar back

they now by the way we lost

I'm not gonna say we won we didn't we were overwhelmed

they have eight now eight and three wow yeah

so and it's like so it's crazy

how do you translate the organization to sales

well I mean

let's face it you know if you if you if you if you

but I always like to put it in perspective

for the person if

if you if you have a salesperson and you know

insurance guy or gal shows up and their papers are all

all a mess and they forgot this and they're

and then oh by the way

the next thing is time management skills um

and they're 15 minutes late and they're all

my dog ate my homework and blah blah

blah blah yeah

it's not going well

you know and it does not

it's not really it's not really not really

you know giving you a lot of confidence in

in giving this person your business

you know so that and so

so we you know

we talk about that as you know

so how your station is set up is the same as are

your computer is or how your slides are or

you know

your printed materials or your samples in your car

if you've if you sell by samples and

you know they

you know they

you know back in the shoe days that they lace properly

you know are your clothes

are your are your

are your apparel pieces you know

they cleaned that they pressed

do you look spit in polish and oh

by the way you know

so it's um

so it just it's about

you know it's also when you talk about

when you combine all in time management

cause top by being organized

your time management opportunity gets better

and it's all getting around that up that

that that gig to be what they call Lombardi Time

15 minutes early is on time

uh huh you know

I find this so interesting

Neil because I

I'm having a little light bulbs go off right now

I think

I've just been a naturally organized person

with things like that

so it's never struck me as something to focus on

but for our listeners

I think this is something really compelling

is the most organized wins

I love that quote that you just said

because you are set up for success

if you have your presentations outlined

you know how to grab things quickly

especially on virtual selling

because we're selling on zoom more than ever

that can actually be a competitive edge

if you have your cheat sheet behind you

your laptop's not looking up at your chin

you're not looking at a second screen

I guess I never put it together

that that is a hard skill that people need to work on

so I really appreciate you saying that yeah

so and then it's if your time management

if you're organizing your time management is geared

all geared around being early

hmm early and but early is well on time

which is 15 minutes early so you know

you're not my dog ate my homework and by the way

I'll say this out loud I'll say it you know

any type of any speech I give any keynote whatever I

I go on the sword nobody bats a thousand yeah

give yourself some Grace

but try not you you you do it less

I said I said I'm most of the things I talked about

I'm shooting for seven fifty

300 gets in the MLB Hall of Fame

but 7:50 in life I think is a good would be a good

good aim and progressively getting better

but you are you are you gonna get to 1,000

no you know

if life is a practice it's not a perfect

let's talk about that a little bit

because I do think that I make mistakes a lot too

and um it says

it's a muscle that we have to work on to not

let that impact how you move forward

how do you

what would advice would you give to people who

who do fall on the sword and need to get back up

well the first thing I would tell you is take ownership

hmm

I'll give you a classic example

it's

it's a it's a it's one from last week and involved

guess what a podcast interview

what happened why I was um

I was heading over an appointment

probably on half hour from here

and I grabbed the sand

was sitting in a place grabbing a sandwich

my son text me goes hey dad

you're supposed to be on a podcast

so what are you talking about

so I'm looking at my call and so I'm looking at

you know I'm looking on my phone that I see it there

well

everybody my most people

I would say 80% of the people 75% of people use zone

okay zooms easy

but then this Riverside something else

sometimes the the it goes in it goes into the calendar

sometimes they don't send

so sometime and then also it can sometimes is an alert

sometimes there isn't right

so you used so that crutch happens right

so I'm sitting there and so I'm like

so I try to get on on my phone

which is not ideal as you know

as a podcaster you know

it's not ideal

but I couldn't get on for some reason wouldn't accept

so I sent him an email so listen

I'm trying to get on via phone

that I hadn't yet gone on the sword yet

and um so he said to my son

co camp gave my phone number and he said well

I'm not chasing somebody down

that I got an appointment with

so he's sitting there going mentally

I'm looking at I'm like going you know what

he's right

he's right then also you know

I I actually went back to this computer

cause I was like going oh

I hope my zoom I don't think zoom has been loaded

zoom hasn't been loaded onto this one yet

and I was alright I'm not gonna do that again

I want to be here for Sarah on as soon as I can right

and so it was early folks so he showed up early

so then

then I just so I what I did was so he emailed me said

hey let's just reschedule

so my response was I said I said to him Paul

thank you for your Grace

I gave him the dog ate my homework excuses

and I said and I actually called them

those are my dog ate my homework excuses

the next line was but I could have done better hmm

so could I have just blamed it on that

and kind of stuck my chest out and

you know well too bad about you

no no

it made me feel better to do that I really you know

I the guy had set up a time for me and set it aside

and I felt bad about it so so also when you do that

you're less likely to make the mistake again

hence

I'm like panic tricking to make sure I'm early for you

I think I'll take ownership

that's what you said when you texted me

when your email is like we are

you called me and I was like

my Sarah called me she is

so I called you back and then I saw the email me

I saw that you saw that you if I declined

I have no idea how I declined well

sometimes decline a calendar of my

it doesn't put it on your calendar

so I just wanted to make sure but no

then it was it was there that's why

that's why a buddy of mine said to me last last fall

I saw him he's really a tech guy

and he's made his money and software

cyber security sales and what not East

and went in the notion of a driveless car comes up

I said dude

two things I'm not gonna do in my life 1

I'm not playing pickleball and 2

I'm never getting a driveless car

I just went in my first one the other day

and it was weird keep going

but it was you know why

why because sometimes the alert comes

sometimes the alert doesn't yeah

word loads up fine this time outlook

the outlook is taking forever

my God Microsoft doesn't get it right yet

in Microsoft was down yesterday

Alec wasn't working yesterday well

you know that's okay

that's such a good point the driver's car was way weird

and I don't know if I would do it again

we did stop for a woman and her baby stroller though

crossing the street so it was such a trip but um

but I do appreciate cause one of the things that

you know if you're in the hospitality business

face to face is really important

even if it's zoomed face to face

but getting out and

interacting with our clients in person

and like

breaking bread with our clients is really important

and I think that's what separates in some cases

the elite from

from the average salesperson

and I think that hospitality Lens

really helps with this

because so many people these days

are trying to sell on LinkedIn

message and zoom and trying to sell the email

and nobody just picks up the phone

and I you know

sometimes it's not appropriate to call people

but I've been doing pretty like I just called you

cause I had two minutes and I was like well

it might be faster just call Neil and confirm her on

but guess what

Neil now we have each other's cell phone numbers

you know

like it's it's a creative way to build that connection

and so I'd love to learn from you

what have you seen from like virtual sales

land versus in person

what are some of the things that you can help support

our audience if they're trying to sell virtually

I am old school

I mean I prefer I prefer I

I don't mind a combo of things

I think you can work out details a lot on on on email

you can have conversations like this

which is great I think it's great

I still believe that one on one

you know in person is is is better

um and it's

it becomes

that's why I'm practicing my chops all the time

in a counter you know

counter any any

any public setting and a breakfast counter I go to

I go to breakfast every weekend every

every morning when I'm down in Plymouth

not because I like eggs I don't like eggs

I like the waitresses

and I like to talk to the people there

because I get to converse

I get to ask a question and do what

make a good first impression

listen listen

right and so I

and actually that's one of the things

I talk about in some of my talks

is like you know you can practice these things right

and so um so yeah

I mean one of the things I'm doing and

is I actually got tip certified

what is tip stand for

so it's how you it's a process program

you have to go through in order to pour drinks

and in Massachusetts I don't wanna get on anybody's

I wanna just get on somebody's roster as a sub

cause I wanna be able to say no

I don't wanna get on the calendar

but I wanna do that because I miss that

we don't do it as much as

as we used to you know

everybody works out of their house and really

you know break some home and all that stuff

so it's like so I

you know we used to do lunch and learns and we used to

and you know

it always worked out much better in terms of like their

their engagement about what we do

and how we can help them and all those things

so I got that not that that's gonna happen by doing the

by doing the bartending

but I just want that I miss that

I miss that one on one stuff that's

you know so it's well

I think that's a way to stand out from the noise too

because everyone so inundated with stuff

and inbound and you know

our screens in person the fun opportunities to connect

I think that's one way to really stand out

and I'd love to learn from you Neil

so now

you have a couple of different businesses that

you're operating is that correct

yeah big dove tale um

because positive of the the our

our our

our swag business which is our primary business

we've been doing that for 27 years

very good to us we um

that's that's primary still but we really

you know it's the stage of our lives

you know we we have

we've got a simple message

that give your powerful results

and we wanna tell the story

we most and we do it in two

two places one is in business sales primarily um

but also in caregiving

so because of our son with autism

we just gave a keynote my wife and I combined on it

and two weeks ago

at a local health and human services organization

and we talked about you know

our whole positive activity process

and that's where I was telling you offline that

you know these

these practices that we that we

that we've Learned through our readings with um uh

the happiness advantage

everybody out there and in Zaras land should she

I would suggest reading that book

or listening to his Ted talk

it's 12 minutes of just jam packed stuff

and then maybe in part

some of those practices to start off your day

so that you're in a place of creativity

so you're you get into that place of positivity

which leads you to open mind

open minded

divergent thinking solution providing creativity

so we

because we do these practices and we do them every day

our our our our positivity level

our happiness level starts here at a higher level

so when less you know

when something goes awry or something of that nature

we're not like losing our minds

how we are gonna get beyond this

and that's in your of course

that happens as salespeople it happens as caregivers

so it's this it's analogous and we um

we spoke about that

cause these people are in tough shape

you know their kids yeah

no so they're working with this population

whatever so you gotta come in with that and that

that that great attitude

so that you're creative

and you're in your solution providing

and you're looking

and then you're looking for the little nuances

the new like especially in caregiving

what incremental change should I see today

that makes me happier with Johnny

you know Susie whatever it is

and then um yeah

so that's that's the um

and then we go

take him through the whole process of like

and I was telling you earlier

that I'm the least likely candidate to have

divide into the positivity nonsense yeah

let me ask you a question about that

because I think that one thing I get

cause I

I feel like the connecting with others come natural

comes naturally but I think

maybe it was just from the country club days

that I Learned it at an early age

and then also I'm pretty positive too

but I've had people ask me or say to me well

isn't that just your natural state

how can you teach people to be happy

or how can you teach people to connect with others and

and that's why I like these types of conversations

because I get a

meet people like you who are doing similar things

but do you think it's

it's obviously not nature versus nurture

are you a positive person or did you start out that way

well no

so the

so I grew up the seventh day of a Irish Catholic family

not the most positive environment

love my parents love my siblings

don't have any active ground

but it was just what is what it was

it was the time you know

criticism came quick where warmth might have slow

slow to come um

let's just say

the Socratic method was not practiced in the house

and my brother tells us stories

matter of fact we walk a lot together when I'm

when I'm down by him and I said Jerry

I need a story I need a good story

cause I have one but it's not his

he's got he's

he's 10 years older than me

so he he got

he got the first run of you know

parochial school you know

all that stuff

and so he wanted to go back to our hometown

hometown high school because they were traveling from

we grew up in this place called Melrose

you grew up he went to Cambridge

which is you probably heard of Cambridge

Massachusetts and what not

so he

and it was a hike and you know

he was getting beat on by nuns and you know

it's just awful so he sat my parents down and he says

gays makes the case bright

bright kid bright guy you're a smart guy

you know he makes the case I'll be better academically

he was a football player he was a basketball player

my academic my mathematics will be better

all in all

I wanted to travel as much I can do more homework

whatever it was and what kind of something like this

no

hmm

that was it so it's like and so by the time I

you know by the time I got around and my

my may of my senior year I said

hey Ma is this something I should be doing next year

so this is the type of thing wasn't awful

wasn't it but just you know

it's not like it not like it is today

we've had our kids mapped out from DNA

yeah and

and I think that

I'm not saying that's the right thing either

you know

I think the hybrid of the two might be something

cause we we but yeah

so and that was um and so we wasn't really so I got in

as I mentioned to you offline

I got into the hospitality business like 14

15 years old and then I got I thought

and now I'm taking care of customers and um

you can't be negative yeah

you know so I started it

there must say it was 100% of course

as I mentioned earlier

nobody passed thousand so it's like so we but

but then I start

once I figured that once I got through

I got to the other side of the bartender

finished my college degree started my first sales job

I would put stuff on my like little stickies on my

on my um

dashboard stay positive

stay out there make another call you know

just these simple things

and I don't know where I got it

nobody told me to do it I just did it

and then so that kind of stayed with us

and then we had

a foundation for special needs education

called pace Parents Assisting Special Educators

because it was the one thing

we felt like we can get our arms around

and help

and help me

help Craig and help those kids that they followed

I got a little plaque on the wall right over here that

I love it and so we um

but here was the thing of the credo of pace was

we are positive proactive parent organization

dedicated to supporting those people on the front line

hmm by mean positive

is that when you come to a paste meeting

you leave agreements at the door hmm well

we all have schools aren't doing enough

the government isn't doing this

this isn't funded great we get it now how can we help

so again

that's where we that solution providing comes in

so now you're in that

so unbeknownst to unbeknownst me at that time

that's where we were we were in a creative mode

because we were spending it positive right

I love the

I love the link between creativity and positivity

because I've never made those connections before

but when you're

but it makes a lot of sense

when you lay it out that way

I also think you would made a comment

you know that you learn to be positive behind the bar

it's so true if you

and I think that people try to find connection points

and sometimes they do it from a negative standpoint

like all

the parking was such a pain in the butt

to get to this event or whatever the reason is

and that's one way to connect

but it's a drag you drain other people

if somebody comes into the bar and sits down

and their bartender starts telling them their problems

what I don't have to I'm not your therapist sir

like I just am here to give you my money

and so I think that that's a really good refrain

because I think we will need the reminder

it's not on it's not intentional

but it can be very easy to slip into that

negative connection point

versus keeping it positive

and it's so it's not that hard to do

I mean again

back to the back to the nobody bats 1,000

I mean it's like yeah

I look down today I hadn't journaled today yesterday

so I started again today

and so I had I did my journaling

I did my meditation I worked out today

so I got all that movement in

um I

I think I think one thing that I I

I've Learned a lot of you know

is this stuff on um on YouTube

there's a there's a

there's a guy if you would forget what his name is

but he has the NSDR non sleep depressed

if you ever heard of that

but it's kind of a form of meditation

but you're not you know

you you you're both meditations you're awake anyways

although I fall asleep during medication before

but it's just one of those things

they take you down a path and what not

it's a guided thing and the same guy that started that

head out of

this other list of things that he does in the morning

and one is he drinks no coffee right out of the gate

you'll have water with some salt in it

he'll try to get a little bit of

you'll get right outside for 10 minute walk

he'll um he'll try to get a workout in

and then he goes into a cold shower hmm

I've heard about this cold stuff

I haven't really researched and all that

but it was like hmm

I have heard people talk about you know

taking shower every you know

like you know couple three times

a day just to refresh and all that

so so I mean this but those are the things and you know

and I know this and it's much like the book

the book that I talked about in the book

I wrote these things because I want to remember yeah

teach this stuff because I want to

I just told you I was late to

so I blew off an appointment

I was wrong but I took one of the pre

one of the things in the book is

there's a chapter on taking ownership

when a business problem arises

you know what likely to do it again

you know what's kind of cool about this is

I feel like this serves as a

way of external accountability for yourself

and I think if people are listening

and they don't have a book

or they don't have a podcast

there's still ways that you can hold yourself

accountable and I think that's

that's kind of the big take away I'm getting from you

Neil is okay you're you're in the driver's seat

you're the one that has to make this happen

taking ownership for your mistakes

making sure that you're

making other people feel that warm welcome

in that hospitality sales approach

and all of those little things that

you've been talking about

lead up to a positive

execution in a positive and creative relationship

like that's kind of what I'm getting

out of our conversation and I love

I love that this is how your path is taking you

because I think every one of us has different

paths that we've followed

and if you look back you can kind of say

oh wait that's why that had to happen oh wait

that's why I had to make that mistake

cause I Learned how to do this oh

I'm gonna continue to practice

these things that I'm preaching

because they're important to me and and

and the benefit is it usually results in sale success

so

that's the nice results from the cause that we've been

putting out in the world so I just um

just happier yeah oh my gosh

it's such a nicer way to live life

it's a more peaceful happier way to live life

and what I like about this journey for me

is that it connects me with people like you

like I've been able to really make some very cool

connections through this journey

and so I I wanna thank you for coming on the show

before we kind of start to wrap up

is there anything else that um

that we haven't covered

that you wanna make sure we touch on

in my journey I've come to understand the true success

lasting success

cannot be found on anything less earnest

I commit to entering only into those

ventures that bring benefit to everyone involved

successful come my way because drawing to it

by drawing towards me the energies I need

and the collaboration of others

here's the Lynch pin

I will inspire others to join and support my endeavors

through my own dedication to serving battle

hmm two way street yeah

big time right well

I think that it

I'd love that you says the two way street

because people are happy to help

when there's reciprocity but you know

we talked about the emotional bank account

on this show a lot

like the deposits in the withdrawals and

section this morning with a team

and people try to draw from an empty bank

you're asking for something in the bank is empty

and so that you're of course

you're not getting anything of course

you're not gonna get structured

cause you're taking from an empty bank

so how can you add value

and I think that's really where

these are easy ways to add value

I'm all link up the um obviously your your book

your companies also

link the happiness advantage video that you mentioned

and the book underestimated in the show note

so if anyone's listening and wants to dive in more

where can people find you to connect

outside of those resources

so positive activity.net is our our website for um

for our our our you know

our programs and and the book is outlined there

it's also a I've done some I

I think some I I

I do a lot of

and everything that comes off of there is positive

you won't will never will never

private conversations about

how somebody's been serving me well

but I will never do that through my

through my through my

what we call our blog is the Nourishing News

so usually associated with a quick little video

um I talked about Alex shoes on there Neil

thank you so much for coming on the show

thank you for lending your expertise

all link up everything in the show notes and um

and I'm happy

you and I gonna be in each other's networks now

sounds good sir alright

thanks so much for joining bye