Chicken Attack

One enormous chicken. Four exhausted adventurers. The witch sets her cockatrice loose on the crew and watches from the treeline. They strangle the cock to death. Twice. Then they learn the way out is the underground river, and the river is moving whether they're ready or not.

Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

What is Rotgoons - Narrative Declaration?

By the Narrative Declaration TTRPG group: Four adventures try to make it big within the decrepit streets of Outset's Pawn Pilaster. Catch this comedic but grim dark Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG adventure and watch them all suffer!

where's the timer can we kill the chicken now i got rid of it
can we kill the chicken this is just chatting stream now
no i i got combat climber q a q a specifically for the chicken fight
i love that song that song is great hey chat you want to kill the chicken today
can we loop chicken attack while we kill it the froggy yodels can we loop chicken attack
i don't think i can yodel how do you yodel
why are you trying to do a banjo kazooie character
i'm trying to yodel i'm trying to yodel
go to sorry go back to fucking banjo kazooie
i think you fucking came out of banjo kazooie
did you have racists at me
yes or go back to banjo kazooie
go back there
up the town window
up the town window
up the town window
up the town window
up the town window
i just wanted to eat a fucking like
i just wanted to eat a cheesy bread
it's like all i hear
we're starting with that
easy go back to the start of that
that's how we're starting the episode today
hi everybody
beto's gone
oh shit
oh my god what happened to me
you disappeared
he's fucking dead
i'm gonna click refresh
and see if it pops up
oh god
i'm right here
i'm right here
there it goes
there you go
i got you fixed
how do you yodel
how do you do it
look at the tutorial after
amazing
we'll tell you
what if i need
we'll tell you when you're older
how do you yodel
not now
you're playing
you're here
no
stop
beats you to death
hi everyone
welcome to another exciting episode of rock grind
i am your host and game master
rock grind
oh my god
sorry we've been talking about rock grind for a while
rock dudes
damn
they're all great shows
hello my name is tan hauser
we turn the road
welcome to rock grind
we all just concrete sliding sound as we turn around to look at you with our red party cups
i'm also tan hauser
i'm also townhauser
i'm also townhauser
in a fucking sweater vest
i live on wish.com and i'm learning how to yodel
i'm pin mouser
i'm a mouse made out of tin
i can't do this
i can't do this
oh my god
all right welcome back
can we kill this chicken
everyone
to another exciting episode of rock goons
let me introduce you to all the amazing people who bring you these episodes
starting off with minerva
i'm minerva
it's me
hello everybody
happy
whatever day it is for you when you're watching this
uh
i play greg crocus
my name is minerva
i'm the party demon lady
yay
the next up we have our girlish host talim
hello
my name is cabal
uh i'm your favorite frightening cabinet cult leader hooded horror host
here on the terrifying petrifying public platform of twitch.tv
and i am playing talim shibura
the level eight
ghost mages
the sparkling targe
and next up we have our resident yodeler froggy lock
hello i'm froggy lock
good time zone uh
today marks the first day of talking into the top of my mic
i've been talking into his sideways
i am a professional
light duty rigger artist and a variety streamer here on twitch
despite what my mic use might lead you to think
uh you can find me on all sorts of other social media platforms under the exact same handle froggy lock
but today i'll be not only talking into the top of my microphone
but i'll also be playing beetles above the level eight kobold yodeler
the one who will hopefully not make those disgusting noises is salty job
hello everyone my name is salty job
i play heart the level eight big boy
uh he now has acquired burst from guilty gear
um and have you ever thought about the fact
that beetle looks like a marketable plushy version of tree racer
the abyss of lord and wielder of the
tree racer
tree racer
tree racer the abyss of lord and wielder of the black axe
yeah why did we turn tree racer to thunder fury blessed blade of the wind seeker me
because he is he's the pathfinder version of thunder fury blessed blade of the wind seeker
or for context for context chat for those who have not watched their kingmaker campaign
um which is hilarious and you should go the first episode is now on youtube by the way
yeah and uh all the other episodes are on patreon the next one should be coming up uh this coming
up week so it should be like two episodes each month and they've been having tree raiser who is
like a this ultra powerful demon the world of galarian for pathfinder second edition
and uh just every so often just pop up
you know just throw them in there for no reason
is that tree raiser
he's just in the bathroom for some reason
he's just there
abyssal lord and wielder of the black axe
yeah we're exploring and then somebody will open a door
and thirst and stuck tree raiser
but if you squint
beetle looks like tree raiser
a little bit if i had an axe definitely
uh somebody's saying that i'm i'm slightly loud now that i'm using my mic right
okay good good thank you
sorry sorry first day streaming
first time ever using a microphone
we love you
god fucking damn it
hi there hi there third year here first day experiencing screaming
me squinted beetle is that hedge trimmer welder of the
welder of the big gun
holy fuck
so this is going to kill this chicken
damn it bit bars
he's fucking crashing
no this is so sad chat
can we get five gifted subs for the bit bars
i'll fix i'll fix whatever people put in
uh gray gray got 500
and then i got 500
if i put the mic a little further away from me
you're fine already fixed you
you went perfect before stop fucking with it
you don't fuck with it mid show
she's doing a little hee hee hoo hoo
just for you
oh i'm just making sure i'm using it right
don't you little old lady him
sorry
who's there doing these rules
who are written froggy
holy god
anyway
welcome back
oh god
today we're killing a tree
we are going to kill a tree
and most multiple trees
depending on what happens
and a chicken today
i can't wait to deforest
this this environment
i'm about to fry this chicken
live on screen
who wants to do a recap for me
for a hero point or want me to
i have schmack's hero point
i slowly swing my eyes to froggy
who has one euro point
it would make sense for me to do it
then do it now
but i don't think i can
let me try to remember
let me try to remember
as it happens we do everything bi-weekly
you then go off and do a bunch of weird png
on the internet stuff
then you come back and
you know you look down at your notepad
and it's like a doodle of the
and then you're like
yeah if i remember correctly
yeah
not much happened
it's a short episode
not a lot happened
we we opened the campaign with um
this is named gervin
i gotta open my nose
this week is bye
good for them
shut the fuck up
jammer
good for them
good for them
so we were
proud of them
shut up
shut up
i'm getting a hero point
okay
so we're in the leshy village
and gervin is not doing so hot
he's really sick
and uh
beetle's been treating him
with the the help of
of shoom and willow
uh mostly willow
more than shoom
we still love shoom though
uh
beetle tried using chromotherapy
to fight his his infections
and his fevers
but even despite those efforts
we know that we have to go to the surface
in order to save gervin
so the the hustle is on
the the fire is lit under our assholes
if we want gervin to live
um
we go out
and we talk to the leshy leader
uh
moshberg
and we're like
hey we need guys
we gotta get out of here
we gotta go up to the surface
you said you'd help us
if we help you
and he was like
super pog
yeah
we'll show you
the direction you need to go
we're gonna pick up
and we're gonna get out of here too
and beetle was like
awesome
do you guys happen to have
any equipment around here
and heart was like
yeah
equipment
yeah
that they that you picked up
off of other adventurers
and then the leshy's were all like
opens their trench coats
and and flashes us
all their equipment
that they have
no just kidding
there was this guy named like jack
he was like a little pumpkin guy
and he had
this like
big old tent
just shoved
shoved full of like
a hoarder's dream house
like it looked like he took
every hoarder's house
and combined them
into the maximum
king
of hoarder houses
and just shoved it all in there
he was a bit obsessed
with amber
he was really obsessed
with amber
and we were like
oh my god
that's crazy
can we
get at your hoarder stuff
and he was like
and we were like
okay fine
we have a lot of amber
do you want it
and he was like
yeah
so then we went back
and we
we grabbed Tlaib
and we pulled him by his earrings
over
because
Tlaib had all the amber
and he didn't want to part with it
and it was like
insert Tlaib noises here
so then we got the amber
from Tlaib
and we
I'll fucking haunt you
and we paid Jack
we geared up
and we got the
frickity frack
out of there
and we're going through the trees
and we're moving
and schmoving
and it's like a nice little
like Lord of the Rings
extended cut
shot of us
like traveling
you know
with the aerial shots
and the little tiny
and then
giant chicken
okay that's not totally
where it ended
so we ran into this witch
right
okay
and the witch was like
good job
and she was like
oh you're the Elmas pets
I hate the Elmas
I'm gonna make it
your problem
and then she unleashed
her cockatrice on us
I believe she released
her cockatrice
she's whipping her cockatrice
no
I didn't ever find
any of my notes
sorry that was really messy
my notes are really
fucking messy
and gross
Chad did you hear
any of the rambling
did you mute me
for that whole
fucking thing
type one
if you understood
what she said
you got your hero funny
don't worry
yeah baby
negative nine
but it is
but it is right
after going through
going back to the
lessee village
in which you saved
you guys were to
re-equip yourselves
due to all the
amber that
Talim hoarded away
thanks Talim
after
after now the
parting the village
after they
pointed you over
to a
cave
that they believe
will take you
back home
you're interrupted
by
by the hang
of the woods
of the underwood
along
the cockatrice
itself
and it'll bring us
back to the scene
the scene
of the crime
finally
look at that
massive cock
look at that
giant cock
god damn it
so these little
stumps
sorry to anybody
else in the car
who might be
listening to this
with their friends
as they now have to
nervously look to
them going
they're cool
I like them
yeah you know
we are
we are four
people
listening to
Sorn
as he narratively
narratively tells
us the tale
of how we beat
the shit out
of this cock
guys I have
a really important
question
are these
I'll describe
them no worries
for you
are these stumps
real trees
or are they
just stumps
I'll describe
them don't worry
okay okay
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
as you guys
are heading
forward
your companions
hang behind
to take care
of Garavan
to help protect
them
not knowing
what the witch
is going to do
to you
or possibly
them
you know
that
Namadeth
the knight
of amber
that you saved
looks at you
all going
just call for me
if you need help
but I need to
make sure
that Garavan's
protected
me Willow
and Shum
will do our
best to keep
him safe
yeah yeah
get out of here
and so
you see them
back away
as the fog
around the forest
begins to thicken
before
the fog
started to obscure
everything
just so you
know
everything is obscured
right now
which means
when you try
to hit anything
you will take
that penalty
of like
you have to
roll just a
flat d20
maybe do a
one or a
four
nothing
happens
for the
trees
as you saw
around
for the
map
the
stumps
are
you are
correct
those are
trees
so
you don't
see the
tops
it's just
to make
it easier
for the
battle
map
for you
to see
these aren't
cut down
these are
actual
trees
that are
popped up
and the
ones you see
for leaves
and stuff
these are
bushes
and you
can hide
in those
bushes
if you
need to
anything
that's
like a
fallen log
can be
used as
cover
if you
really need
it
so if you
ever have
a question
about like
oh can I
hide in
this can I
like get
behind this
or climb
this or do
anything else
like that
just let me
know and
more than
likely you
can
huge
thank you
but to the
north of
you
you see
you see
this
horrific
looking hag
on top
of a
rock
and let
me show
that
artwork
so I
don't
think
I
get
to
show
her
yeah
let's
see
her
yeah
we only
saw
the
cock
oh my god
I love her
she's so cute
she's really cute
she looks like a little hedgehog
a little boar
a little hedgehog boar
she's so cute
oh my god
froggy
with her grotesque
warded face
and hair
like
like a quills
and her
malformed
demonic hands
were forming
in the claws
cloaks
by pretty much
like an oversized
drape
adorned
with multiple
bits of jewelry
and baubles
earrings
and things
her quills
themselves
kind of
poke out
of the ropes
kind of
securing them
to herself
she just
cackles
as her
giant
cockatrice
begins
to step
forward
and with
that
I'll have
to ask
everybody
to roll
initiative
do it for me
yeah
let's
fucking
kill this
chicken
I've waited
for this
harder for this
moment
I'm so excited
I fucking
love chicken
I fucking
love chicken
dude
as for the
art of the
cockatrice
sorry I'm doing
multiple things
at once
I've showed this
before but just
to re-show it
again for stream
and chat
and everyone
salty did a wonderful
job so people
can say great job
salty and
chat
good job
we love you
salty I want to
kiss your
hag's giant
upper lip
I want to grab
her big horse
lip and I want to
chew on it
she's got one
big upper lip
and I just
want to
yeah
yeah
yeah I love
her
she's so cute
yeah
like a big
leathery pad
yeah
yeah
yeah
okay
yeah
the cockatrice
I don't know
if I can forgive
you for drawing
I don't like that
I don't like it
I don't like it
understandable
I'll get it
I get it
oh
what do you mean
oh
why are you laughing
the cockatrice
rolled a
natural
roll a
natural 20
on its initiative
screenshot around
it didn't happen
unhide that
roll please
oh yeah
I'll show it
yeah
hold up
reveal everyone
there you go
fuck you
no
that's
natural 20
impossible
dang
no
how can this be
alright
the encounter
has begun
this is the boss
battle chat
will they survive
yes or no
no
you can't leave
that up to
chat
this music
fucks
sorry I'm
really pumped up
it will now go
reload my tab
because it is
dying
you are good
no worries
yeah because I'm
at the bottom
of the initiative
order
the cockatrice will
begin to go
it struggles
because it
it can only go
so far
because the
water is
difficult to
rain
so it's been
one
two
three
all of its
actions
getting up to
you all
just hear
just displacing
all of that
water as it
charges towards
you all
and it
closes the
distance
heart
now for
reference
chat
our heroes
have leveled
up
they're all
now level
eight
they were
level seven
before
I allowed
them to
basically
like during
their resting
period and
stuff like
that
they were
able to
level up
we didn't
want to
do it
dirt
like mid
stream
and stuff
so entering
into this
they've
leveled up
they all
have like
new stuff
so any
of that
new stuff
comes into
play
just kind
of like
super quick
summary of it
don't you
don't need
to give us
a novel
um but
heart it
is your
turn and
this thing's
coming at
you you
can see
slightly see
its form
it's like
darkened
silhouette
coming in
through the
fog what
do you
do
guys
i don't
like it
oh this
heart will
use channel
elements
uh on
himself
so he
will
activate his
cool kinetic
aura
which extends
out
uh in
10 feet
and as
a part of
doing that
he can
perform a
cool ability
for free
oh
uh and
the ability
that i will
use for
free
uh will
be my
my super
cool ability
armor in
earth
where my
ac is
increased
uh because
i think
we will
need it
and then
for uh
one action
uh heart
will
move
up here
uh
just uh
just a
little
teensy
weensy
up here
next to
this uh
this tree
so he
can stand
next to
something
and then
he will
draw the
ire
of the
massive
cock
uh
by uh
by
by throwing
a rock
at it
uh
yeah
yeah
pick up a rock
uh heart
will stomp
on the ground
so our rock
flies up
into his hand
and then he
will football
pitch it
uh towards
this
massive
uh rooster
creature
that's right
but cock
and as a part
of doing that
i get to use
my super cool
ability
weapon infusion
that lets me
get add a few
special traits
to my
to my little
thing and i
i choose to
apply the
throne bonus
ooh
which means
that i get
i get my
strength bonus
to damage
it's super
cool
it's super
sweet
let's uh
let's fucking
go
i rolled a
three for
total 20
i miss
it goes
through
it basically
lings its head
forward as the
rock
just crashes
up against its
gold
no damage
heart
turns
to look
towards his
friends
and goes
uh oh
it's ease
that's my turn
all right
beetle
uh
if we can
if we can
distract the
witch
maybe the
fog will
drop her
or the
or something
because it
works for her
right
so i'm gonna
try and like
put a
bolt
in like
her calf
or her
achilles
or somewhere
equally painful
okay good luck
everybody
and uh beetle's
gonna start to
move
uh 5 10 15
huh uh-huh
moving behind
heart
yeah yeah yeah
and then he's
gonna move
again
5 10 15
20 and he's
gonna dive
into these
bushes
and poke
his snood
out and he's
gonna try and
take a look at
the cockatrice
so he has
gotten a new
ability and that
is uh
help help help
help help help
please please please
please please
please
hey you said you
knew what you
were doing
he's gotten a new
ability called
known weaknesses
so he can he
he might remember
reading something
about a cockatrice
uh back when he
was living in the
library the grand
library that his
family inhabits
so uh uh uh
uh can i does
he if i recall
knowledge does he
does he does he
does he know
anything about this
the cockatrice and
what let's see
whenever you
devise a stratagem
you know which uh
takes an action
uh you'll attempt
to recall knowledge
check so
basically uh what
skill do you think
you can do for
this like i would
say if you have
anything about
arcana or nature
about this creature
yeah probably arcana
or nature uh his
arcana is very low
but like here we go
let's try anyway
you don't know much
about this creature
wait wait i'm
hero pointing it i'm
hero pointing it
okay okay
i'm hero pointing
i'm hero pointing
better than that
hero point
i saw that one
i saw that one
19 on the die
total of 24
come on please
please please
please please
rizzing up the
dm huh
gm you succeed
you succeed in your
recall knowledge
check now let me
know right yeah
let me know a
couple things you
want to know about
this creature
what is it weak
to uh you know
that has no weaknesses
but i'll supplement
that that the one
thing about this
creature that you're
gonna need to worry
about i'll give you
this one for that
info yeah uh it has
an ability called
calcification so
basically if it hits
you and you fail a
fortitude save you
will become petrified
eventually and if you
get hit with
petrification and then
something hits you you
instantly die no save
no no message home
you're instantly dead
but turns into rocks
okay uh okay beetle's
gonna relay that to
everyone which is very
stupid i should have
done this before diving
into the bush to try and
hide uh oh i just
remembered i read about
cockatrice once if it
hits you you can turn
into a rock and die
don't let it hit you
oh you um great you
have one more question
to ask i do yeah you
have one more thing
that i gave you i gave
you one to supplement
your other thing okay
okay i'll allow you
another one okay being
generous being generous
on it uh do i remember
anything that cockatrice
is like
anything that they like
yeah like a food or a
sound or a place
i think all rocks taste
the same when they make
them into rocks and then
eat them oh yeah do they
like rocks because they
like to eat rocks so this
creature you won't know
from the knowledge you
won't know exactly what it
likes to eat because this
is in a really weird
environment normally
cockatrices are much
smaller than what this
thing is uh you see this
thing's a roided up one
that has been enhanced
by this hag one thing
okay he will relay that
to that uh one thing
you'll know that this
thing is is distracted
and you notice this one
because of its size and
it lumbering around this
thing is slowed
okay it is permanently
slowed so it can be
distracted by things if
you do a certain effort
into it and it is slowed
okay meaning it's dumb
okay it's really slow
also like not just the
speed wise like you
can probably distract it
with stuff but also it's
slow because it's not
cockatrices are not
usually this big okay bye
good luck thumbs up from
outside of the bush
that's my turn that's your
recon report excellent
that's your entire turn
yeah that's my entire
turn you're so smart
yeah now here's another
fun layer to the
encounter
it's your worst it's your
worst nightmare don't say
that so remember like
various sessions ago right
uh that you guys struggle
with some certain things
no don't say it
no
is it area of effect stuff
oh it's worse dude
oh it's way worse
you hear through the fog
you hear through the fog
and she says
wait do I have a thing for
do I have
I fly without wings
I cry without eyes
what am I
oh fuck
if you successfully
chat you cannot help
them if you look at
chat you instantly lose
because I'll tell
if you can answer this
you might get a benefit
and if
fly without wings cry
without ice
fly without wings cry
without ice
a geyser a water geyser
oh I'm not smart
so that's your question
right
that's your question
I'll put it in chat
and on your turn
if you want to spend
an action to answer it
oh shit
I mean it's her turn again
and no one's answered
it correctly
it's not a water geyser
oh fuck
I don't know
all right gray
it's your turn
uh target
oh god okay
target cockatrice
hunted prey
oh declaring
that it's hunted prey
sorry
the the puzzle
aspect has thrown
me off entirely
hey
no okay
if we get a try
on like each
of our turns
up until hers
to answer
try water geyser
try it
try it
maybe it's water geyser
water geyser
sounds like
you know
sure
why not
you know
what
I'm gonna hit it
with a
with my
my mom
Bele first though
from the cover
of this bush
that she dove
in as soon
as we got
here
okay
oh
that's a crit
for a total
of 33
hold up
you're obscured
oh that's true
probably a flat
d20 please
you got it
you're good
let's go
I thought you
were gonna rob her
I thought you
were gonna rob her
so bad
there's a total
of 25
boom
you do a bunch
of damage to it
and then she's
gonna spot her
out
water geyser
no
that's a no
okay
shit
okay okay
what flies
what flies
but that's it
for my turn
are you sure
you already had
your weapon out
before the fight
I presume
well I
action for
targeting prey
action for throwing
and then
the action
for guessing
answering
sorry
thank you for
double checking
Talim
yeah yeah
so like
you don't have
to answer the riddle
on your turn
I don't know
I
there's a question
I want to ask
but I want to know
if it's like
too meta
yeah
feel free to
ask him
we'll figure it out
is
is it related
to like
stuff
that's going
on
like these
riddles
maybe
maybe
maybe
okay
uh
might be
might be
it might be
all right
so
uh
what I will
actually do
for the
uh
hold on
I
god
like
the riddles
got me
fucked up
I know
I'm like
what
what else
I think
I know
what it is
but it's also
like you have to
spend action
to answer it
and it's just
like
yeah
yeah
I'm looking
at my
like action
economy
and I'm like
it's cool
if you attempt
it
all right
like so
all right
so
this is what
Taleem is going
to do
Taleem is going
to
like he looks
around
and as the
the hag is just
like you know
it's like
it's like
what is it
uh
I fly without
wings
I cry without
eyes
you know
like what
am I
and
Taleem will
like
he's got his
shield on one
arm
he's got his
sword in the
other
and uh
as he
splays his
arms out
I am actually
going to
spend two
actions
to cast
flicker
and essentially
Taleem will
kind of like
for a moment
he will
look like
he's uh
like he's
possibly there
but also
possibly in
like
two other
places
as uh
he starts
to
use his
time magic
to
flicker
in and
out
of
uh
basically
that
this
timeline
and what
that will
do
is
actually
give me
a
effect
where
I
now
have
uh
resistance
five
to all
damage
except
force
and at
the end
of my
turn
I
will
randomly
go for
ten
feet
and uh
cold
second last
for a
minute
yeah and
it lasts for a
whole minute
dang
so um
as he
does that
he will
look up
at the
hag
and he's
like flies
without wings
cries without
eyes
and he'll
look around
at the uh
and everything
that's going
on and he's
like
a cloud
that's smart
I'm so
fucking
stupid
Selim
the fog
parts for
you and
you gain
your action
back
nice
oh that's
so fucking
smart
to raise
my shield
yeah that's
what it
that's why
I was like
I was like
is this
related to
what's going
on
yeah
I'm like
fog
cloud
gotcha
fuck
yeah
and for
uh
and because
of the fog
everything that
parted for
you
you are no
longer obscured
for the rest
of the fight
so you do
not have to
suffer that
penalty
oh my god
thank you
but enemies
still obscured
to you
so just
remember that
you're now
safe from it
and you have
your uh
one action
left now
because you
got it
back
I spent
my action
to raise
my shield
all right
now it's
its turn
and I
got struck
at
it got
got
shot at
by heart
it will
step forward
for one
action
does any of
your aura
do anything
hard
just a
double check
okay
it looks
at you
and it
shall
strike
just
oh
it rolled
a natural
one
oh
thank god
thank god
that's so
perfect
it rolled
a nat
one
if
I was a
generous
game master
you
my
oh
sorry
I've
spent
the
villain
points
damn it
yes I
hit
however
however
I'll roll
the damage
just to get
the damage
out of the
way
you'll only
take
three
yeah
however
snoring
you will
need to
make me
this
fortitude
save
please
uh
soren
yes
that sounds
super cool
I hope
I'll make
it
you critically
succeed
I critically
succeed
because
kinetisists
have the
strongest
fort save
in the
game
oh
thank god
as this
is happening
uh
soren
I assume
that this
is the
calcifying
thing
that you
mentioned
earlier
yes
you feel
that
they try
to hit
you
and some
of the
stuff
begins
on you
but you're
able to
resist
it
yeah
yeah
like
small
chunks
of
clay
starts to
fall off
from him
and whatever
as he
takes
three
damage
however
soren
do I
take
three
damage
as I
use
my
reaction
calcifying
sand
I gain
everywhere
I gain
resistance
equal to
my level
to
physical
damage
from the
triggering
attack
this means
that I
have
four
physical
resistance
that's one
more than
the damage
I took
fuck
are you
sunny
boy
holy
crap
but not
only that
soren
the ability
of calcifying
sand
is that
heart
realizes
that
wait
I can
move
rocks
I
wanna
try
that
and he
attempts
to
rebound
the
calcifying
trait
onto
this
cockatrice
because
calcifying
sand
makes it
so that
the person
who did
this attack
must make
a fortitude
save
against
DC26
which he
most likely
will make
he's a
big
monster
but
if he
doesn't
he is
petrified
no you
I have
counter rocked
his rock
let's see
let's see
what happens
did you just
uno reverse
a fucking
cockatrice
that's right
baby
he succeeds
he succeeds
so it doesn't
work
but heart
has learned
calcify
from my
cockatrice
he's a
blue mage
that's right
baby
I eat
things and I
get their
spells
let's go
let's see why
it says success
hold on
I rolled
he rolled
a 23
yeah
because if you
meet it
you beat it
right
yeah you
meet it
you beat it
yeah but
your dc's
26th
yes
or did it
whatever
does it have
bonuses versus
petrifying effects
no
that's the
confusing part
about it
cockatrice is an
anomaly
three
anyway
I have
is it because
it has bonuses
against incapacitating
effects
it can be that
it's um
higher level
than us
heart
yeah
presentation
ability of this
trait can take a
character
yeah
it's the
incapacitation
trait
any character
who's higher
level than us
ah
yep
that's it
yes
yeah because
it had the
result
heart
disappeared
failure
and then it
was like
oh no
it was a
success
it has
incapacitation
listed as
the result
heart
dead
I did
die
okay
well heart
it is your
turn though
after that
reaction
yeah
so um
with that
uh
and the
incapacitation
trait
uh
triggers
uh
heart
did not take
damage
he's too
cool for
that
I have
maximum
hp
still
heart
stares
at this
schmassive
creature
and he
realizes
this thing
can't hit me
at all
it's a
weak old
baby
bitch
boy
uh
and heart
does
will
perform
his super
duper
giga
gagungi
uh
technique
where he
creates a
tree
uh
true
I wish
to make
a tree
the
protector
tree
that's
right
baby
I
create
a
tree
where
would
you
like
the
tree
to
be
I
would
like
this
tree
to be
right
here
behind
me
so he
can't
hit
it
okay
nice
as long
as I'm
standing
next to
this
tree
that tree
who looks
like
heart
it's
heart
hugging
heart
from behind
the tree
pops up
and I
oh hi
it's so
good
to kind of
protect my
newfound
friend
heart
chokes
the tree
that he
has just
summoned
and he
leans
closer to
it and
goes
not in
this
campaign
and
what do
you mean
we've
already
done
this
rock
ride
it's
canon
that's
why
I'm
saying
it
and
then
as my
last
action
I will
attempt
to
once
again
beat
the
shit
out
of
this
big
cock
with
a
rock
I
hit
the
cock
with
a
rock
I
must
maximal
pain
he
must
endure
oh my
god
okay
here
I
go
what do
you hit
with a
sure
does
best
damage
baby
you hit
it for
10 points
of damage
it croons
out
I
think
that's
all
your
turns
I
believe
that's
my
turn
baby
I
forgot
to
choose
melee
blast
but
we'll
do
it
it's
your
turn
okie
okie
dokie
feels
gonna
dart
out
of
the
bush
and
then
he's
going
to
hold on
I'm
measuring
hold on
I'm
measuring
yeah
hold on
I'm
measuring
okay
okay
cool
so
roll me a
perception check
once you get up there
beetle
oh yeah you got it
I'm going right here
okay
I
uh
I want to
climb this tree
okay
I want to
I want to use
my clinging
climber
climbers dude
to climb the
fuck out of this
tree
okay
yeah
for free effort
that gives you
a climb speed of
15 feet
that means you
you're just
going up there
yes
and I also
I also
grabbed
combat
climber
which lets
me climb
with only
like one
hand
so I
can still
use my
other hand
to hold
my weapon
and do
whatever
oh
important
question
froggy
oh yes
tell me
does
beetle
climb
like a
gecko
yes
nice
yeah
100%
skitters
up a tree
licks
one of his
eyes
yeah
okay
so you
spent your
uh how many
movements did
you have to
take to get
up to the
tree
it took
me two
movements
to get
up the
tree
my last
movement is
going to
be to
climb
the
tree
okay
that'll
be all
your
actions
so how
far up
the tree
you want
to go
15 feet
all right
I'll mark
you there
for 15
feet
uh roll
me that
perception check
please
you got
it
it's just a
total 22
it's still a
good perception
uh
yeah
there's a
four on
my die
you can't
you can't
quite tell
super well
while looking
at the
hag that's
on top of
the rock
there
but you
can
it's like
she's kind
of see-through
in a way
oh
okay
okay
all right
I'm not
going to
relay that
yet
and that
will be
the end
of my
turn
you will
hear her
cackle
though
now that
it's her
turn
you will
hear her
ask
what
has a
bed
but never
sleeps
a mouth
but never
eats
wait what
has a what
but never
sleeps
what
has a
bed
but never
sleeps
a mouth
but never
eats
oh
my ass
oh
I actually
know this
one
gray
it's your
turn
first
gray
is going
to swing
at the
cockatrice
again
from her
from her
hiding hole
because she
doesn't have
to target
it this time
it's still
there
trying to
take bites
out of
heart
gotta roll
that's 12
we're told
to hit
you hit
just
wait
wait
I keep
forgetting
to do
this
with heart
so heart
do me
do me a
favor
roll me
a flat
d20
and you
roll me
a flat
d20
I keep
forgetting
you got
it boss
you're
fine
you're
not
gray
I am
could I
can I
re-roll
that
they
re-rolled
that with
a hero
point
I'll allow
it
yeah
let's
go
nice
because
forever
for podcast
listeners
could roll
a two
or else
you would
miss
but
that'll do
it
that'll get
past
it
oh
thank
god
rolling
for
damage
as a
total
of
damage
and then
uh
gray is
going to
peek her
head out
from the
bush
and yell
a river
oh that's
so smart
you're
hastened
heck
yes
you know
you now
you now
have the
effects of
haste
and if
you don't
know what
that means
uh
you gain
the
quicken
condition
which means
you can
use an
extra
action
each round
only to
strike
or stride
okay
that's so
cool
it's strike
and stride
the same
deal
basically
yeah
yeah
yeah
but I do
have one
more action
left I believe
uh
so I'm
gonna try
yeah
I'm gonna
swing again
with uh
the mount
bailey
swing
roll
me
the
obscuring
roll
okay
let's try
this again
that's a
two I
didn't
hit
alright
gray's gonna
sling back
into the bush
and just be
like okay
just like
yeet your
axe out
into the fog
and like
it goes
wide
returns to your
hand you're
just like
oh
she's just
like okay
fine I guess
can I see
it for me
okay
Talim
yes
alright
first action
raise my
shield
second
action
uh
c5
that will
be
Talim
will move
right here
with his
shield
raise
yeah
I
will
target
the
cockatrice
and Talim
will rear
his arm
back
and as
he does
the
the
the
aft coil
the saber
that he
keeps
will break
into its
separate saw
blade you know
like saw like
pieces with the
uh the chain
interconnecting
the two of him
and he will
whip it forward
to attack
the cockatrice
he whips it
whips it good
boo do do do do
bow
bow
with a
couple of a
30 to hit
good hit
I saw it roll
I saw it roll
onto that one
and I clenched
you did
and now I get
to roll
damage
which is
2d6
plus 6
but also
I have a new
wounding room
so as the
vicious blades
of the aft coil
saw into the
cockatrice's flesh
um
it now takes
persistent
bleed damage
the cock
is bleeding
my cock
is bleeding
oh no
oh god
uh so you
moved up
you struck
a fifth
anything else
and race
shield
that is the
end of my
turn
I race
shield the
beginning of
my turn
ah sorry
about that
all right
it's now
it's turn
choice
I was gonna
say
I also
because of
flicker
um
I
randomly
teleport
10 feet
of your
choosing
my choosing
hmm
I
well
that's
what it
says
is the
the
the DM
rent
determines
you know
like
the 10 feet
that you
teleported
I'll move
you
here
it's like
Talim
strikes
and then he
like
flickers
and it
and just
appears like
right there
huh
these youngsters
with their
crazy
teleportation
magic
gray grumbles
and she
hides in
the butch
you have
the strange
feeling that
he was
there the
entire
time
because
timey
wimey
fuckery
ah yes
clearly
it's only
a hint
though
the cockatrice
and
immediately
its eyes
kind of
dart over
hearing more
rustles and
things past
past the
battle
and eyes
beetle in
the tree
and begins
charging the
tree
all of its
concentration
seems to be
charging into
it
doesn't quite
reach it
yet
you're in
danger
heart is
your go
it has to
make a
recovery
check
with the
bleed
because it's
still going to
take his
damage
critically
fails
it'll take
the six
points of
damage
for the
bleed
heart is
your go
what
everyone
is
paying
off
baby
okay
soren
yes
in true
heart
fashion
he sees
this
cockatrice
book it
northward
at first
heart goes
like yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
boy
because you
know
we're beating
the heck
out of
yeah
and we're
about to
eat
cockatrice
for dinner
yeah
and then
he realizes
who also
went
and he
goes
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
and he
runs
after it
and he
will attempt
to grapple
this creature's
tail
most of the
time
this wouldn't
be possible
but i have
titan wrestler
so i can
attempt these
actions
on creatures
larger than
me
because i'm
cool like
that
so i
will attempt
to grapple
i was
getting creeped
out and
didn't mention
it because
i was afraid
i just
pinged her
a couple
times
i was like
i don't know
why she
moved
i will grapple
the creature
three times
my size
i rolled
an eight
for a total
28 but
it's still
a success
because i'm
that cool
you grab
it
it wobbled
on a 20
for me
you have
grabbed
the cock
that's my
turn
however
before
if i do
succeed
on this
shit
i should
probably
do
a
d20
are you
are you
gonna try
are you
gonna try
and
strangle
it
are you
gonna choke
the chicken
i'm gripping
the cock
yeah
i rolled
an 18
to overcome
my
overcome
my
the
concealment
i'm
grasping
firmly
grasps
it
you're
good
you're
good
you haven't
grabbed
you moved
up
grabbed
heart
heart
digs
his heels
into the
ground
and just
grips
onto the
tail
and goes
no
no
no
no
that's
my
turn
beetle
how high
is she
how high
is she
she's around
your high
about 15
feet
okay
i leap
across
uh
because of
my winglets
i can clear
this 10
foot gap
and i can
land
here
okay
is that
on the
rock
let's see
winglets
you're
allowed
the
mongrel
da da da
for a
full flight
strong flap
allows you to
jump further
while leaping
horizontally
you move
additional
five feet
yeah
yeah
an increased leap
distance is a
powerful leap
you don't
automatically fill
your checks
to high jump
or long jump
if you don't
stride
good
good
that should
when you
attempt a
long jump
you can
jump a
distance of
10 feet
uh
you normally
would
base on
resilient
athletic checks
though you
still can't
jump further
in speed
yes
roll me
athletics
that's a
total of
you make
it
you can
get right
right to
north of
her there
right by
the rock
amazing
i draw
my
giselle
and i
shoot
her
okay
go ahead
i'm trying
to remember
just devise
a stratagem
can i devise
a stratagem
and shoot
in one turn
or do i
have to devise
a stratagem
and then shoot
you devise
a stratagem
then shoot
okay
as two separate
actions
it's only
when it's
your um
when it's
the thing
you're tracking
okay thank
you
are you
are you
point blank
blasting
the hag
yeah
yeah but it
missed
can i use my
last hero point
you sure
can
i'm pretty
sure she's
not actually
here
oh that's
even worse
very cool
you just
said yeehaw
hippity hoppity
get off of
my property
yeah yeah
yeah
but it's
her property
and then
you missed
yeah that's
my turn
like cartoonishly
outlined the
hag with
buckshot
i did
i did
yeah
she looks
at you
as you're
both
past her
she goes
i didn't
know
the almas
kept
her little
doggy
too
i've got
a dog
protect
those
hit
okay
say what
protect
those
hit
okay
oh
oh
dearie
me
you just
shot a
poor old
woman
in her
own
yeah
yeah
yeah
thank you
oh it's
like you're
going to
die
here
just imagine
it like
looks at
you know
just like
going to
die
here
she cast
finger of
death
oh no
she will
look
to the
cockatrice
and go
not yet
my
booty
and she
will cast
soothe
god damn it
hey
she can't do
that
hang on
awww
she can't do
that
what the
fuck
and then
she'll
look to
you
beetle
and go
and
she disappears
from you
I knew
it
but she
leaves a
voice
she leaves
a voice
with another
riddle
sorry I
have a
list of
these
you have
to like
have to
pick them
how the
battle
goes
beetle
hears
if
balling
is
life
if
balling
is
life
does
that
not
equate
that
balling
that we
be
balling
means
we are
living
she
says
you'll
hear a
voice
through the
fog
that says
I'm
tall
when I'm
young
and
short
when I'm
old
what
am
I
I don't
know this
one
oh god
oh god
oh god
oh god
and that's
what she will
leave you
all
oh god
oh god
oh god
great
it's your
turn
all right
so gray
watches as the
cockatrice like
rumbles off and
she's just like
it's big and
slippery what the
hell
and she's going
and she's going
after it
oh my god
I've spent so
many to get
up here
uh
okay
I've given you a
big arena this
time
you have but
I'm hastened so
it's fine
yeah
stack of
pancakes
stack of
pancakes
tall when
young
short when
old stack of
pancakes
yeah because
you eat away
at it
yeah that works
yeah that
I'm not
guessing I'm
not going to
guess
but she's
going to
swing her
mom bailey
now that
she's caught
up and
gray
but of
course I do
have to roll
that d20
you hit
I did hit
I did hit
but I have to
roll that
flat d20
baby
please
please
please
that's a
it's a
it's a
are we
good
did you
click
damage
no no no
I was doing
the
I'm sorry
you're doing
you're doing
it correctly
my bad
yes you're
good
it's
1 to
a 4
you'd
miss
all right
I'm going
to swing
for that
damage
as a
total of
which is
also
okay
you're able
to hit
yep
damage
yay
yay
you were
hasten
yeah you
should have
you could have
used it
last one
okay
I'm gonna
hide behind
the tree
awesome
Talim
yes
it's time
for the
ghost man
so
let's see
mountains and hills
get shorter
because of
denudation
yeah
that is
true
is there a
hill
yeah
mountains
mountains were
initially much
taller they
eroded over
time
yeah
denudation
it needs to be
something that gets
worn down
right
so
I will
spend
two actions
to move
35 feet
to move
forward
and then
I'll spend
a singular
action
to cast
shielding
strike
and shielding
strike is one
of my arcane
focus spells
and uh
as part of
that I make
an attack
good
good
and uh
as part of
making that
attack
using that
momentum
I raise
my shield
board
board
yes
yes
allow me to
strike
allow me to
slap the
cock
and uh
oh
that's a
35 for
a crit
that's a
crit baby
and uh
the leanball
like he
floats up
and like
like he just
flies towards
it
and as he
basically
just screeches
to a halt
he allows
that momentum
to carry
forth
uh
the whip
like blade
of his
asp coil
and uh
let's see what
we do for
damage
as I roll
that crit
damage
that was
not the best
but it is
a total
of 20
and uh
as part of
that
he raises
his shield
and that is
the end
of my turn
yeah that
blade's gonna
help out a lot
now it's
its turn
it didn't
like what
you did
I'm pretty sure
it didn't
oh wait
it's the end
of my turn
Zor and I
teleport 10 feet
hmm
yeah
one two
three four
five six
seven eight
it's numpad
you go
closer to it
oh no
so you know
I looked
around you
it's eight
spaces around
you
so I went
from the
very top
left
one
then two
three
four
and
four
goes
forward
totally
random
then
yeah
just
I want
to illustrate
that to you
that I'm
not screwing
you on
purpose
I mean
it happens
you know
that's what
happens with
timey-wimey
bullshit
as well
I just
wanted you
to know
you know
if it
does hit
you here
as it
goes to
strike you
you have
your shield
raised
and you
got
resistance
so
it hits
it hits
you but
you have a
reaction
because it
only hits
you by
one
I do
have a
reaction
and
wait
hold on
let me
I think it's
your emergency
charge
I believe
it is
is it
you still
have that
yeah
an enemy
hits you
with a
melee
strike
or melee
you
finally
save
against
an
enemy
spell
you're
running
shield
or
have
your
shield
prepared
melee
raise
or
cast
shield
the
circumstance
bonus
applies
to your
defense
when
determining
the
outcome
of the
triggering
you already
have
shield
raised
so
you don't
need
to use
that
reaction
it
does
hit
you
yeah
it'll
only
do
a little
bit
of
damage
it'll
only
do
five
it
does
no
damage
does
nothing
to you
but I need
you to
make this
fortitude
save
for me
how is
how is a
ghost
gonna get
calcified
um
so
my
question
is this
the
the
is there
any
particular
tags
to
that
the
calcification
and stuff
yeah
to calcification
that
would
allow
bonuses
to apply
to it
so
hmm
because I do
have
it's a curse
I think
undead
or what is it
undead
benefits
which
give me
pluses
versus certain
things
does its
calcification
count as a
curse
soren
is there's
no tags
of it
being a
curse
from what
I see
you should
have
poison
or disease
in that
case
not that
either
let's see
if it's
nothing
like that
then it
has none
of those
things
and then
it would
probably
not benefit
at all
yeah
no saves
on this
one
I think
and if
we're wrong
in the
future
we'll
triple
check
but as far
everything
I've been
looking up
for it
so far
it's not
a curse
not a thing
it's just
like an
effect
thing
it's a
primal
thing
roll that
and there's
a total
of an
that I
rolled
an 18
for a
total
of a
on the
dice
you feel
the stone
try to
take hold
through
basically
your
ectoplasm
Talim
but you're
able to
just kind
of like
either
just flex
your hand
or something
and it
dissipates
away
does it
take hold
he wants
to rock
your
class
something
it tries
to pick
you
again
oh no
it does
hit
it does
hit
it'll only
do
it'll do
no damage
to you
but one
other fortitude
save please
oh god
oh my god
i am going
to spend
a hero
point
oh that
was a
let's see
it
to re-roll that
spend a hero
point
to re-roll
it
and that
is a pull
of a 31
you survive
i guess
i have been
holding my
face
every time
for rolling
to save
i'm just
like
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
sorry
i was supposed
to do
my flat
20s
let's see
first one
was fine
because i have
technically
uh heart is
holding i was fine
on both of them
and he took all of his
minuses for being grappled
but he does not release
himself from the grapple
because you're a
bitch
it's your turn
heart
sure is
he'll take
he'll try to do
the recovery check
or else
he'll take
tin
he fails
he's still bleeding
by your wounding
that's right
that's right
that bleeding
is carrying
uh
heart
will
in a
in a true state
of silly antics
uh
heart
will use the ability
known as
ravel of thorns
uh
ravel of thorns
makes it so that
his funny area
that he has around him
which is 10 feet
a 10 feet radius
uh
now has
um
a bunch of
tiny hands
extending from the ground
uh
and teeth
and mouths
and whatever
uh
it's plant matter
in whatever form
i want it to be
and i want it to be
hands and teeth
um
as
they extend
from the ground
and
anything that
attempts
to move
away
from me
which
aren't
my friends
takes uh
counts
my entire area
as difficult terrain
and they take damage
and they take
damage
whenever they try
as the
like little hands
and mouths
are gnashing
yeah
um
but here's the fun part
soren
that's my first action
my second action
was to
make this stuff
you know
not killing my friends
uh
by using
uh
my very cool ability
known as
let me see
if i can get it
here
yeah
safe elements
so all of my friends
ignore these penalties
uh
as i can select
a number of dooders
to not be affected by it
and i select my friends
uh
and then my last action
soren
will be
the new
cool
maneuver
that pathfinder
has added
to this game
soren
i would like to
reposition the cockatrice
okay
so
i will attempt
to reposition
i will attempt
to jostle
the cock
i will never
stop making
these jokes
thank you
uh
what i will do
is that i will
perform an athletics check
and if i succeed
i get to move it
five feet
if i
critically succeed
i get to move it
ten feet
as long as it's still
within my reach
i will attempt
to move it
downward
so that
gray
can get
a flanking bonus
on this thing
uh
the best part
about this
is that
he's still
in my
aura
he's gonna
get shredded
up like
he's
cheese
against
a grater
uh
if i succeed
i am going
to put
the chicken
in the blender
i get a
success
soren
i wish
to move
him
down
here
and
by doing
so
this boy
takes
damage
the
combos
it's not
a lot
of damage
don't worry
about it
yeah
no i'm
saying if
force movement
does something
because it
says it
moves
and it also
goes to that
specification of
it because
force movement
for a lot of
things is usually
like hey
exactly
typically that
is very
much the
case
this is not
one of those
cases
this is just
an environment
i would make
an argument
on it
but
who cares
so you
make it
success
it can only
go up to
five
so it can
only go down
one a little
bit
make it go
down one
please
it goes
down
it'll take
the three
piercing
damage
sure
dice
oh
minecraft
cactus
hurt
it flashes
red
yes
it is now
deeper
within
my difficult
terrain
i will
not let
this
big ass
rooster
go
i'm gonna
eat
that's my
turn
beetle
the cock
is being
strangled
you're muted
if you're
talking
fuck
fuck
sorry
i muted
because kiwi's
been screaming
um
the only thing
i can think
of that's
like relevant
to what's
going on
when it's
tall when
it's young
and small
when it's
old
beetle's
gonna yell
out
up
mountain
nothing
damn it
damn it
damn it
what the
fuck
maybe you're
thinking too
big
i don't
know
a tree
that's
two actions
i hate
you
the witch
up here
was an illusion
i don't know
where she
actually is
he's gonna call
down to his
homies
and he's gonna
go even
smaller
that he's gonna
reload and that's
gonna be my
turn
there's
nothing else
here
that's
swell
that
is
big
when it's
a candle
there are no candles here
how is a candle relevant
maybe it's not
maybe it's just
like
but to leave
asked is it relevant
to what's going on
and soren said yes
i said it could
so soren
where does
confirm
those who've been watching
the latest episode of the rock grind
if you pay attention to some things
it might be some other relation
oh my god
oh no
you need to do extracurricular stuff to learn
what
that's bullshit
plus one hostile gm
thanks man
so some bad things happen
yeah
great
the cock kicks bigger
okay
i am still capable of wrestling
here's those creatures
but this is the biggest that i can do
i can't handle them much bigger than this
you can take them
in a fight
salty you motherfucker
i was drinking
it gets a lot more scary
yeah
sure does
it's size increases
meaning it's got a pretty good range
i hate that
and you notice that it glares even further
like this thing gets supercharged
oh
i should have answered
oh we might need help
we should have played soren's funny little game
i played soren's funny little game
i
fuck
i
did any of you know candle and not say
i'm gonna strangle you
no
i'm gonna fucking strangle you
because that's typically the answer to that
but i was like wait that's not relevant to what's going on
i was like there are no candles around here
i was gonna guess like a stick of charcoal or like a pencil
oh
i was this close to do a heart bit and go shock
oh
oh that would have been good
here we're gonna switch the music back to this
i like this music
now he's the bigger bad guy
yeah
yeah
he sure is
all right
chat
yeah
chat i'll give you the strike
i will give you the hit
what
you can't do that
i sure can
you can't do that
i sure can
what you can't do that
first off it's going to try and break away
you can't do that
you can't do that
sure i can
you can't do that
you can't do that
my grip's too powerful
you can't do that
he's gripping
how strong uh
i can get your stats for you
it tries to escape from the grapple
i can't believe zora just said take some character sheet
did you maintain the grapple
you did not so he is no longer grabbed
shits myself
but i'll have to escape
i can't believe with the slither feet beetle over there looking like a worm
yeah
all right chat you're going to turn here it's going to get hit
talim
oh no
hearts
or gray
oh fuck
begin voting in twitch
and sorry youtube unfortunately i can't do two polls over there at the same time
it's integrated in the twitch thing
so if you're on the twitch channel over at twitch.tv 4 says narrative declaration
oh you're running a poll to see which one of us gets hit you bastard
oh no oh no oh no oh no no no no no christ
now
Who's gone and die?
Who's gone and get hit?
No, please.
Please, no.
The cock is super charged.
Please do not slap grandma with a giant cock.
Currently right now, Gray's at 48%.
Heart's now at 30.
Talene's now at 22%.
I kind of get more engraved.
More engraved, please.
More engraved.
I just look at chat, and I just see somebody in chat
just like, I'm sorry, Gray.
Tajima!
Why?
And we got 41% here on Gray, 41%.
Now we're going to get 35, 35 on Heart.
Now 25% on Talene, 25% on Talene, 26 on Heart.
Now 40% on Gray.
Can we get more on Gray?
50% on Gray.
Gray has one.
You won.
What is her prize?
I don't like this prize.
One strike.
This massive bait comes down upon you, Gray,
hitting you for a pretty good amount.
It will now damage you, supercharged.
Oh, my God.
35 points of damage.
I spin my reaction.
Yep.
To delay consequences.
As this massive beak hurtles down,
it just hits Gray full on the chest.
Talene goes,
no.
So with that,
we'll keep the damage on her for now
because it'll eventually go in
just so we have the math on that.
But you go,
boom,
no ZOD,
and all that.
So for Gray,
now for the big thing,
can you link that in chat for me
just so I can read it?
Because it's going to be important
to see if I have to ask for,
I think I have to do the fortitude save after
when that comes back.
Oh, wait.
And there we go.
All right.
And that is actually
the last of my focus pull.
Oh.
You transpose about it
and the target will be injured or later.
Okay.
I'm going to delay your fortitude save.
You don't have to make one right now.
Okay.
But it will try to peck you again
for its last action.
No.
It misses on a three,
but
I do have a villain point.
Thanks, chat.
If you two do bits at hashtag GM,
I get more villain points.
Son of a bitch.
So you two can help me kill the players.
I rerolled and still horribly missed.
Only about a little bit, though.
And that
is the end of its turn.
Oh, fuck.
Gray, it's your turn.
Gray is going to stumble back
and run away
after getting hit
because she's just like,
no, oof, oof, oof, oof, oof.
And then she's going to cast
gravity weapon.
Tasty.
Me too, Kiwi.
Go off, King.
Sorry.
Oh, don't even worry about it.
I love that little man's.
I'm going to
swing my mom, Bele, from here.
Oh, my God.
That thing is scary now.
And I missed.
Oh, Christ.
I'm going to use my hero point
to reroll it.
Obscure and rolls, chat.
The chicken can see good now.
Yeah, I'm going to reroll.
Just for reference.
Using my hero point here
because I got a 24.
And I missed again
with a lower number.
That's it.
That's...
Yup.
Did you spin a hero point,
you said?
I did.
Okay.
I did.
I'll get you marked down there.
You're now at one.
Thank you.
Talim.
Yes.
All right.
So I will spin my first action
to raise my shield
because...
What that?
And...
As Talim raises his shield,
he flicks the aft coil
and it clicks back
into its regular, like,
sword-like form.
And as he does...
Well, actually,
hold on a second.
You know what?
No.
I'm going to risk it.
Talim didn't raise his shield.
Huh?
Talim didn't raise his shield.
Huh?
In fact,
what he is going to do
is he is going to
draw back
the aft coil
into its regular form,
which is, you know,
like,
he can change it at will.
I will cast
Sure Strike.
Oh, boy!
And then...
And then
I will target the Cockatrice
and I will do a Spell Strike
using the Spell
Vision of Death.
Oh, what does Vision of Death do?
So, Vision of Death
is you force the target
to see a vision
of its own death.
It takes 8d6 mental damage
with a will save.
If the target is reduced
to 0 HP by the spell,
its vision becomes reality
and kills it instantly.
Oh!
So, I don't think
I'm going to drop it low,
but if
we do well,
it can also
give the Cockatrice
the Frightened Condition,
which can debuff it further.
Oh, that's a lot of Frightened.
That's good.
All right.
Yeah.
Let me make it roll a save.
All right.
Well,
I was going to say,
first,
I need to hit.
Sorry.
I rolled a save for it
anyway,
so go ahead and do the...
And I actually...
I was going to say,
how do I reroll it?
How do I roll it twice?
Actually,
for that spell,
you force the turn...
No,
that's just a will save thing.
For that itself,
that's just...
You just do a will save.
You don't have to hit...
No,
I was talking with the
Sure Strike effect.
You apply the spell effect
on yourself.
You put it in chat
and then you select yourself
and apply a spell effect.
Okay.
I didn't...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sure Strike,
basically,
the next time you make an attack roll
before the end of your turn,
you roll the attack twice,
use a better...
You basically,
you know,
like advantage in D&D.
It's just that.
That's all you're doing.
Do you want me to just
roll the strike again?
Yeah,
just hit again
and you're going to take
the best one.
You're taking your 34.
Well,
hey,
yeah,
I'm taking the 34.
but I will roll the damage
on the,
on that
and then I will
roll the damage
on the,
there we go.
86 mental.
It takes half of that.
Jesus.
It'll take half of that 29
for that mental damage.
It's 14.
And also take your 13 points of damage,
continuing with the wounding
and the bleed.
And,
uh,
yeah,
I think.
And it's Frightened 1.
Yeah,
it's Frightened 1.
As it gets,
as it gets a little bit spooked.
And it's like,
Talim basically pulls the,
what is it?
The,
the one punch man,
the Saitama,
like,
you just see the big,
the big sword.
It's just like,
yeah,
the big swat.
Soren.
Yes.
Can I spend a hero point
to narrative declare
that the vision that it sees
is its own body
being lowered into a front basket?
I'll,
I'll allow that for free.
Yes!
It thinks it's about to become
a KFC bucket.
Oh,
also I teleport Kinky.
All right,
let me roll D8 for you.
So one,
two,
you go,
whoop,
right up this way.
Perfect to the top of it.
So,
uh,
just to make sure
I'm not messing with anybody.
So it was Talim's turn,
right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gray already went,
everything else.
It should be the,
uh,
the cockatrice's turn.
Okay.
It just felt weird.
I was like,
I felt like I skipped someone's turn
for some reason.
If I did,
it doesn't sound.
it's because Talim used,
uh,
his reaction after,
uh,
Gray got hit.
So it felt like kind of things
were just kind of weird for a sec.
Yeah.
Chat,
chat,
double check me.
I think I'm losing my mind.
Did I skip someone's turn?
No.
Beetle just answered the riddle twice
and then reloaded gun.
That might be it.
Yeah.
I was going to say,
Zoran should,
should I?
No,
I know what happens.
I rolled a 1d8 thing.
Like,
is it up to 10 feet?
Yeah.
I'll put you up there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's 10 feet.
My bad.
If it was five,
it would be so much better.
That's what happened.
I did the chicken's turn on her turn
and everything else.
I'll just say,
we'll move,
we'll move past that at that point.
Yeah.
That's an error on my side.
Yeah.
You skipped chat's turn.
That's right.
I took your turn.
I think I was mentally going down a road
and I didn't check myself though.
So I messed that up.
I'll just say,
dude,
I was going to say,
you skipped chat's turn.
You just hear like the WWE,
like entrance music.
It's Chet Twitchbeard.
It's Chet Twitchbeard with the steel chair.
But better burn.
And it just crashes through.
Chet Twitchbeard's been here the entire time.
He's been in good camo.
The elbow drops the cockatrice
and runs off into a bush.
Here for that,
for that,
this works out anyway
because we can just do this.
Beetle,
you see,
you see to the side of you
where the hag has been,
right?
You see,
you see the see-through silhouette of her
as she looks at you,
does the peace sign
and disappears.
She's now gone.
This fucking bitch.
She's now out of the fight.
I hate her.
And just so we can go back on track.
We'll have the cockatrice now go.
The cockatrice is not worried about hearts
or hearts thing.
Why not?
It will move up.
They get in range of gray.
It will take the three points of damage.
Go ahead and click the thing for me.
This right, baby.
Take funny damage.
Give me the damage.
The damage.
Grabby hand.
The damage.
The damage.
You got to click the button.
The damage.
The damage.
Grabby hand.
Damage.
I'm having a stroke.
I'll mainly put it in.
The damage.
It took the damage.
All right.
I mainly put it in.
Gray.
Good luck.
It missed with an aim to die,
but Chad gave me a villain point.
No, please.
Why are they giving you so much right now?
What the frick?
What's going on?
What the re-roll gets?
Where are your points?
What the hell?
I have nothing to help you.
I'm all out of time magic.
I have no more villain points, sadly.
I shall damage you, Gray.
For 33 points of damage.
What the fuck?
Gray, please roll me this fortitude save.
Yep.
All right.
Yep.
Yep.
Fortitude.
Where did you go?
I'm freaking out right now.
I'm going to be that dickhead.
Technically, Gray has to roll two fortitude saves.
Right.
You do.
You fail the first one.
I have one hero point left.
Do you want to use it?
Yes.
Go ahead and re-roll it.
Yes.
Come on, one.
Come on, one.
That's a 14.
You succeed that one.
Why do you want us to die?
I'm going to use your other fortitude save.
Please click that for me now that the delayed consequence and stuff.
Oh, I saw that three wink.
That's a 29.
That's a 29.
Oh, I'm not happy for a moment.
I was like,
It doesn't quite get you.
Heart.
I'll take its bleed damage of two, just for reference.
And I'll try to do a recovery check, and it succeeds.
Oh, shit.
I didn't need to put that in the check.
That's okay.
I got you.
Hey, Soren.
I'm snoring.
Just to make sure that Gray will have an opportunity to run away from the thing,
and for this thing to then have to deal with me,
I will attempt to World of Warcraft tank this creature.
Soren.
Yeah?
I will perform the ancient blizzard technique of area denial.
I will cast Jagged Burms.
Oh, Jagged Burms.
Yeah, I will cast Jagged Burms.
I summon six funny, funny, funny little guys.
The funny little guys will be placed in a cage around him.
It's not so that he will take a bunch of damage.
It's mainly so that he will have to stay in here with me.
Assume like that, or want me to adjust them?
Yeah, like that.
As six walls appear around the massive cockatrice, Hark's aura goes away.
As he slams his hands together to make these appear, and then he looks up at this massive creature, and he gulps a little bit as he raises his hands.
That's my turn.
That's my turn.
Beetle.
You see, the hag is gone.
You're very confident she's now out of here.
Yeah.
Which he shouted to the party members that she's been fucking boogied off.
She's gone.
And I'm going to devise a stratagem on the cockatrice, and see what happens if I shoot.
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please.
Natural 20!
Let's go!
Woohoo!
But will he do the concealment?
You're just tapping your baits going, I love this shit.
Take 44 points of tapping!
Boom!
With 36 bleed!
You're basically, your bullet just crashes through its skull, just bow, and exit wound comes out on the side, but then it, like, lazily turns your head back to you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I can't believe Beetle, like, it's like, I'm going to devise a stratagem, enters into Sniper Elite Camera.
I'd like to, uh...
I'd like to, uh...
Oh, yay!
Concealment check!
Thank you, chat, for reminding me.
Roll me a flat d20.
Who?
Me?
Yep.
Yeah.
Thanks for reminding me, Jackie, for getting my own thing.
You're good.
Oh, God.
You're all an eight.
That's an eight.
Yeah.
You're fine.
Okay, so, uh...
I'm gonna...
Dude, if he rolled a two, I would've just fucking...
If he rolled a two, it's like, oh, yeah, yeah, you hit something.
You shot Pellene.
No!
So, oh, no, I can't do this, because I'm not aware of where the witch is.
Okay, never mind.
I can't do that.
I'm just going to shoot again.
You reload.
I reload.
I shoot again.
Like, saving Private Ryan.
You bolt in another.
You fire, but just do...
It's too much fog, and just whizzes by.
Yep.
Oh, no, wait!
I was supposed to reload after firing, so that's my whole turn.
I fire, reload, fire.
Gray.
Would you say that the cockatrice's attention is now solely off of her,
because he just got shot so hard?
We'll find out.
Okay!
Gray is going to get out of range of this awful, nasty big cock.
She's going to go over here, and she's going to use Soothing Mist on herself.
Grandma's token.
Rolling, rolling, rolling.
It's a total of 17.
We have it for 17.
You get that Febreze on you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, she dug around in her pouch while she was, like, ducking behind a tree,
and she, like, started just splashing, like, this aloe dust on her face.
Just...
Zoran, good luck monetizing this on YouTube.
Don't worry.
They'll love the cock.
They know we're talking about chickens.
Oh, my God!
I'm in for my final, my final thing, because I've got, I've still got Hayson.
I've still got that.
So I'm going to use my mom, Bailey, and I missed.
And I missed, but I think chat gave me a hero point.
You have three, technically.
How did that happen?
Petey.
You said that, like, you pulled, like, the stuff out, like, here.
It's like, oh, you'll just have the screen.
Oh, that's a nat 20.
Thanks, chat.
I want to roll this myself.
Okay.
No!
No!
I got to do something cool!
Get the fuck out of here, Zoran.
Get the fuck out of here.
You can re-roll it.
You can re-
I rolled it for you just to get to move things along.
You can re-roll that d20.
I'm just going to re-roll it?
Dude, this might fucking suck.
Because that's a one or else you would miss.
That's a 19!
That's a 19.
I'll take you down to a hero point.
I'm rolling.
Okay.
You do crit with your natural 20.
That's 32 damage.
Oh, my God.
So this thing, you basically, you just throw your weapon.
After it just got boom, blood just splatters on to a nearby tree.
This thing begins to stumble.
And your axe is...
Cuts his head off as it falls dead.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, my God.
I was going to fucking cry.
Riddle that, Meemaw!
And he fires off a couple rounds into the air.
Because it's a muzzleloader weapon, so every time...
He's going to reload every time.
Oh, my God.
We just circumcised the cock.
Yeah!
So, uh...
Please.
Yeah.
Keep your dudes where they are.
Where they work.
Sorry.
My bad.
I have a proposition for you.
Okay.
Okay.
Do you give me consent to do a Game Master thing?
You won't like it.
What?
Is it...
Okay.
It all depends if you want to keep playing for the next hour.
Are you resurrecting the cock?
I mean, chat will have to help.
Wait, wait, wait.
Can we turn our backs to one another, share, celebrate, and then the second health bar appears?
Oh, my God.
Please, sir.
You need to kill some Dark Souls music if that's the case.
The cockatrice pulls out his katana.
No!
Get the Ludwig of the Holy Blade going.
Let's go.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Players, do I have your consent?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We all turn to each other.
We're like, yeah, we did it.
We go to, like, start to walk away.
And...
Heart stands next to them, turn us around, and gives a thumbs up to everyone, especially Gray.
Like, nice.
Gray's just, like, bleeding, holding her gut.
She's just, like, weak thumbs up back, coughs up blood.
Don't worry, Shay.
She's soaked.
Okay.
But it won't happen this episode, though.
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
It won't happen this episode.
Huh?
Huh?
What does that mean, Zorin?
Excuse me?
Zorin, what does this mean, Mr. Game Master Man?
Huh?
You see the corpse laying there.
You're now all free to move.
And kind of come towards each other.
Heart picks up the head.
You see the corpse laying there.
And within the fog, some of you begin to see little hands begin to come out of the bushes.
They're like spiders as they begin to sort of swarm around the chicken's corpse.
Hi!
Hi!
Those ain't mine.
Several lines of hands begin to kind of climb up.
And grab onto the head that you're holding, Heart.
Tugging at you.
Roll me an athletics check.
Hey, this is mine.
I mean, Grace.
That Heart attempts to pull it flat.
I roll a 16 for total of 35.
It's good.
You're holding strong, Heart.
I'm really strong.
It pulls you.
Whacking the hands.
Can you start whacking the hands with the butt of his gun?
And you're just going to...
Yeah, yeah.
Just crunching noises.
And not just blood, but just black ichor just...
Just sprays out every single time.
You get more and more.
But more of them keep showing up.
And you look at the body.
Go ahead.
Are these, like, these inky, black, shadowy hands from, uh...
What's his name?
Tel...
Tel...
Tel...
Tel...
That we've seen...
Yeah, Telok that we've seen before.
Yes.
You recognize those hands.
Um...
I hate this.
As those hands appear, uh, Telene will actually cast, uh...
Like, did it get, like, darker around us whenever that happened, or...
See, the fog seems to be giving a different air.
Uh, Telene will actually cast light around, uh...
Around everyone.
And he will cast, like, a, uh...
A nice, uh, soft...
Uh, like, little, like, glowing, like, lantern-like light.
I don't know why...
Yeah, okay.
And, uh, he will surround the party with those.
And, uh...
Like, he'll, he'll look around, and, uh...
He'll just be, like...
And he'll call into the fog.
He's, like...
Telok!
What is your business here?
You'll see the head that Hart is holding.
Several of the hands have entered inside of its mouth, grasping onto its teeth, its tongue.
Even some of the fingers are coming out on the edges of the eye.
I don't like...
Forcing the eyes to move and mimic as if it was still alive.
You'll see that it'll try to rotate them...
And just look at you...
And go...
You have the friend that I need...
That...
And the eyes will...
Look over to Beetle's ankle, where you will see your talisman appear.
The red gem glaring back at Tevok's improvised form.
What the fuck?
Tevok.
That's his name.
I don't want to say Tevok.
It's Tevok.
Tevok.
You know, potato, potato.
Hart.
Basket hoop shoots this head, like, over here.
You throw it.
It lands with a squelchy, like, thump.
Just...
I don't like that.
Several of the hands pop.
Just...
Black ichor blood.
Instead of the cockatrice's own blood, just black ichor everywhere.
And you notice the body is wriggling and adjusting itself.
The small wings of the cockatrice are shifting and moving.
Flapping around as if trying to figure out its new form.
You have what I need.
You have what I covet.
We need to go.
Dude, you can have it.
We don't want it.
We don't want it.
Give it to me.
Let's go.
Let's run.
Let's run.
We gotta go.
We gotta go.
As you say, it wants to run.
I wish I had the health bar mod installed.
Actually, I think I do.
I do.
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
I do.
Hear it all.
So, for chat, the health bar thing doesn't show up super well for you.
I'm going to fix this for you.
Let me see if I can, like, hear you see some behind the scenes looking things.
It's like, yeah, there you go.
It's kind of hard to see its health bar at the top.
We have it cropped, so you just got to deal with it.
But you'll kind of see it's Dark Souls health bar at the top now.
Holy shit.
And it's come back.
Great.
I think it was your turn last.
But I'll give you all, I'll give you all a free, free two actions to move around to react to this thing.
As this thing begins to, you know, it begins to basically rise itself up.
So, we're going to sort of reset things.
Heart, feel free to move two actions.
Two actions to move around.
If you want or prepare for something.
Actually, well, I'll be more leaning it.
You get a free action before this thing starts doing what it wants to do.
So, heart, you're good to go first.
Nice.
Is it two or one?
Get your full action.
My bad.
Get all three reactions.
I rescinded my thing.
I'm going through my notes.
And I'm like, let me give you more.
Okay.
Soren.
Yes.
I wish to, for one action, I wish to enter my funny.
My funny, my funny stancy.
My funny channel elements.
I will now enter the funny.
And as I enter the funny, there is the actual one.
I will then produce a small orange glowing fruit in Grey's palm.
It's very Estus-like.
Or perhaps a blood vial more, in this case.
Here we go.
Have some healing.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah.
Have some fresh produce healing.
Yeah, baby.
Let's go.
Oh, how do I use this?
I've never done this before.
Do not worry.
I will fix this.
Grey goes to, like, eat the fruit, accidentally does a dodge roll.
Don't at me.
Don't fucking at me.
Dodge rolls off a cliff nearby, even though I was nowhere near it to begin with.
It just happened to be there now.
The total healing that you gain from this, now that I'm level freaking eight, if all of
this is allowed, is, let me see here.
As it heightens correctly, it should auto-heighten.
Yeah, it should auto-heighten.
I don't know why it doesn't do it.
It's kind of weird.
Are you trying to just click the HP?
It's that.
Yeah, there we go.
Nice.
I get 26 whole life?
Yeah.
Wow.
That's so cool.
And then, Heart will look back at this thing.
You don't get healed yet.
You have to eat it with an interaction.
So, you have to eat it on your turn.
Oh, okay.
Well, I will do that on my turn.
Okay.
I will do that on my turn.
And then, Heart will...
Yes, here.
I guess it's difficult terrain across the water.
Yes.
Cool.
You can't just run the fuck away?
Yeah.
I run into the water.
That's my turn.
I ain't staying near that.
Are you done?
Yeah.
That's my turn.
Guys, I don't think we can kill it if he's just going to bring it back.
Let's fucking run.
Oh, he's going to move five feet.
He's going to...
Oh, great.
One second.
Everyone's just like, patch up grandma.
Patch up grandma.
Everybody run.
Oh, here you go, Gray.
You can just click apply.
Woo!
And then, like, he just picks up and keeps scream running like nothing happened.
10, 15, 20, 25.
That's it.
That's it for me.
Gray.
Gray's going to spend one of her actions eating that fruit, so that's all taken care of.
And then she's going to use all of her actions to get out of Dodge.
She is done.
She's leaving.
She's going up here all the way.
Yeah, just follow a run.
You can use the rest of your actions.
You don't have to stay right there.
I think I'm good.
I'm a goal.
If you're sure.
Talim.
Um, I just sent you a DM, and I wanted to check something.
I had, like, a billion windows open, so I usually minimize this.
Nah, nah.
You're fine.
It's in our personal chat.
So, I wanted to, I wanted to ask that before I did anything.
Go for it.
I'll make it work.
All right.
So, like, as everybody runs off, like, Talim looks at it, and, uh, he seems to stand still for a second as he starts to lift higher off the ground than where he normally hovers.
And, uh, he actually takes off into the sky, um, as, uh, his ghostly form takes flight.
What?
Ah!
Yeah.
Like, he goes full ghost mode, and he's just like, mm-mm, and pfff.
Because one of the feats that I picked up for level eight was ghost flight, where I can now break the tether that keeps me from, um, only flying a few inches above the ground.
And I can now fly, uh, for ten minutes a day.
That's so cool.
Ooh!
Yes!
And, uh, Talim flies after Beetle.
Now he can truly perform the air combo.
It's true.
I'm ready for the air combo.
We're playing Marvel now, baby.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that is all three miles.
Oh, and you teleport ten feet that way.
Technically, it's ten feet that way.
Already did ten feet?
You patched me all over that square?
Uh-uh.
I already did it.
I'm a game master.
I always get it wrong.
No, you can get that.
That's fine.
Um, now it's the Cockatrice's turn.
Or now, Hevok's turn.
Yep.
And you see, just to remind people of what he looks like.
Oh, God.
Show him the handy boy.
Show him the boy.
Show him the handy man.
There he is.
You see an apparition of that, his handed, hooded figure enveloping over the creature's head.
You see, just, and this thing, just as if it's more of a dragon's roar than anything else, will come barreling down towards you.
I don't like this.
I hate this.
It comes charging down.
Sorry, I'm just trying to get a thing here.
and you all begin to see
little hands begin to go left and right
of you climbing around
grasping at your ankles
as you're just rushing down the river
and
you have a decision to make
do you continue down the cave
leaving your friends behind
or
do you go back to your friends
to try and save them
we gotta save them
do we
this whole like we went through
this whole thing to save
Garavan
yeah but he's gonna die anyways
what the fuck
damn dude
the ruckus are nice people
we're not good people
we kind of carried their asses like really far
you know what i'm saying
what the fuck
i'm just saying
if they could start pulling some weight
that'd be really pog
i'm just saying
we'll ask for
for no
that's help
Garav is gonna die
shoot
we'll take care of it
he has a gun
as
as like
as we're running away
and we're discussing
like
i guess we're discussing this
in like hurry posts
it's like
yeah
Talim is just like
we can always try and lead it away
like as he's like just flying
uh
like
above
um
that's a good idea
above
okay
if you lead him away
i can try and sneak back
and get them
yeah
and then we can just run them
through the cave
or we could leave them
i mean
uh
beetle
i'm just saying
i'm not mad
i'm just disappointed
ow
sure you want to split up
i don't know
holding my head
holding my head
holding my head
not like this
not like this
not like this
heart keeps
heart keeps booking it
we'll
look at
uh
everyone is like
if you can get him to chase you
i can go and get the others
okay
you are flying
sure
go for it
he might get stuck in the cave
true
okay
let's try that
let's try that
or we might get stuck in the cave
let's find out
my face hurts
so you as a party
the thing is if he gets stuck in the cave
like
how are they going to get out
yeah
yeah
it's like
hey you're going to get your friends through
time to kite the cockatrice
time to kite the cock
it's time to kite the cock
i think
i think so too
what would you like to do party
uh
i think uh
we're kiting the cock
and to leave
is running to
help our buddies
yep
that sounds like it's uh
what we're doing
sounds like what's happening
yeah
okay
i'm gonna puke
it's its turn
taleem are your things still up
or not taleem
uh heart
are your like
sure
things up
what exactly do they do
can you just go through them
or what
uh
they currently have
uh
20 hp
and
uh
they have
some
they have some hardness
uh
i legit think
it will instantly kill
every single one of them
my question is
can i just go through it
it's not like an actual
thing
it's difficult
terrain
fine with me
steps over it
yeah
uh
so
sadly
it only affects things
when they enter
those squares
sadly
yeah
he will
he will go through
one of them
yeah
just sliding on
through
just making sure
he's got
because it is
difficult terrain
so he goes to hear
to hear
with both of his actions
you hear several
of the hands
near you
beetle
going like
give it to us
give it to us
give it to me
give it to me
you can have it
you can have it
it's mine
it's mine
heart
it's your go
it's still taking
bleed damage
from where
Talim lasted
it failed
by one
to do the stuff
roll me the damage
if you don't mind
if it takes damage
going through the stuff
um
for the bramble things
Talim I already got
your bleed stuff
oh okay
I was like
you already got
the bleed right there
heart it's your go
yeah
uh
so
what heart will do
since uh
this thing is
presumably
going to chase us
uh
and it's not
a living creature
it is some
weird shit
being animated
by hands
um
oh my god
it's a stop motion
animation
um
oh my god
heart will
spend
one action
to
stare
at beetle
and
shout
to duck
as
he
activates
safe elements
so
for one
action
i can now
make it so
that beetle
is ignored
as a part
of this
next activity
that i'm going
to do
i'm going to
activate my
hail of thorns
ability
as
heart
holds out
his hands
and
blast
the
cockatrice
all right
let's see
it
heck yeah
make a
basic
reflex
save
snoring
it rolls
his reflex
save
and succeeds
with a
sure does
so it
takes
half
uh
gonna roll
that damage
for me
sure does
take six
points of
damage
a hail
of splinters
comes out
and you see
multiple hands
just fall
off of its
forms
they're all
crawling around
everywhere
oh
not double
then my
funny aura
deactivates
and that's
my turn
beetle
it's right
there
look
look
look
flock
answer
flock
ignore
me
have to
find his
voice
effect
yeah
yeah
yeah
hi
thank you
something
hmm
we're by
this water
can you do
something
with it
hmm
I could
I could
I need
hmm
I can make
you all go
faster in it
definitely
here
I'll do
this for
you
yeah
if we
could not
be like
encumbered
or slowed
whatever
when we go
through the
water
that would
be great
you see
you start
to feel
like
you begin
to sweat
a whole
lot more
which is
very weird
for a
lizard
and
all of a
sudden
in between
your
grippers
and your
feet
and stuff
like that
you start
to see
a gathering
of water
as if you
now have
like these
kind of fins
and stuff
your swim
speed is
now 60
feet
okay
you can
move faster
in the
water
because of
luck
if you get
wet
don't resist
and it
extends to
everyone
except
to lean
yay
you are
becoming
moist
do not
resist
all right
uh
beetle's gonna
run into
the water
five
ten
fifteen
twenty
twenty
five
you still
go a lot
faster than
that
you got
sixty feet
of water
you got
sixty
water
speed
you can
go
yeah
yeah
yeah
okay
tell him
go get
the guys
okay
uh
thirty
thirty
five
thirty
forty
forty
five
fifty
fifty
fifty
fifty
fifty
fifty
clear the
map
that's
one
action
uh
did I
load my
Giselle
I don't
think I
loaded it
the second
time I
fired
so I'm
going to
load my
Giselle
sure you
want to
shoot
no I'm
not going
to shoot
because I'm
too far
away
but I'm
going to
load my
Giselle
and uh
get ready
because I
don't think
I have
any
I think so
I have
to shoot
him
no that's
your
that's
your
close
no
Giselle
is a
long range
weapon
oh my
god
the rank
income
is 90
feet
where are
you getting
30 from
sorry
I think she
mistook her
movement
speed
no no
no I've
I've got
another
firearm in
a different
campaign
and it's
sorry
oh
oh
oh
yeah
they're
blending
together
in my
brain
sorry
the range
income
of a
jail
is
feet
so
whatever
is
past
you start
taking a penalty
to shoot
okay
okay
I'm gonna
shoot
I'm sure
I want
to shoot
I'm sure
I want
to shoot
okay
I miss
the three
on the die
just a
whiff
oh god
you maybe
catch like
one hand
that was
climbing on
top of
it
oh my
gosh
okay
that's all
you want
to do
yeah
that's all
I can't
do
grey
grey's gonna
get in
the water
uh
and
well
it's gonna
move
that one
foot
and then
she's gonna
oh my
god
the fact
that we
could go
so far
holy
crap
yeah
you know
she's gonna
go here
she's gonna
go straight
down here
a total
of
feet
and
she's gonna
bling
her mom
Bailey
at this
thing
it should
be
should have
the range
for that
it was
60 feet
of water
speed
so
one
so
I'll say
you get
up to
here
oh that's
you hastened
that's right
I am still
hastened
yeah
I am still
hastened
I think it's
pretty cool
oh my god
oh my god
you beat the
road
no
no
it's a
swing and
a miss
and that's
it for me
Talim
yeah
so as
everybody goes
sorry
as everybody
goes running
off
Talim just
shoots
straight up
in the air
fly up
25 feet
directly
and then
where is
everybody else
at
like where's
Gariband
and
you see them
a little
like through
the fog
it's kind of
hard
it's hard for
everybody else
but you
you can see
clearly
you see
them
not that
far away
like they've
definitely
you know
they've heard
the battle
going on
and everything
going on
inside the
fog itself
they're near
the edge
of it
still
like
they're in
the boats
and everything
is
the night
is protecting
Gariband,
Wello,
and Shum
okay
Talim will
fly
50 feet
because I
can move
25 feet
directly
towards them
and hopefully
over the
head
yeah you
just fly
right over
it's not
able to
reach you
yeah
I
also I
don't know
where they're
at because
I don't see
any tokens
or any
indicators
they're off
the map
so just
directly
south
just
directly
south
directly
think of
like off
the edge
of the
map
like
like a
couple
more
squares
though
down
there
just
think of
it that
way
and
yeah
and
yeah
that is
that's all
three of my
actions
I took
one to
fly
directly
up
and I
took
two
to
move
feet
so
you see
the cockatrice
will turn
his attention
to heart
yeah
swim
you brick
bastard
swim
it will
stand by
the bank
of the river
and look
down at
you
as if
you are
a worm
I don't
know
worm
you see
several hands
are kind
of like
floating
by you
heart
and several
of them
will kind
of do
like that
mouth
talking
motion
that you
can do
with your
hand
going like
you will
be food
for what
we need
next
your body
will sustain
the swarm
heart grabs
a hand
and eats
it
what
it tastes
like
just
blue
paint
oh my
favorite
it's just
it's also
just rancid
and wrong
just like
just motor
oils like
dripping down
your mouth
it is
it's more
to show
a thing
it's all
about the
theatrics
it's all
about no
fuck you
I'm gonna
eat you
finger food
fuck you
dude
I'm allowing
that
that was
funny
and I'm
mad
all right
well I mean
like for theatrics
you've really
gotta hand
it to heart
I hit you
I failed to hit
you
I rolled a
natural one
I have nothing
to re-roll
that
for my
vellum
once
curse
unless I fish
for shit
no
all right
that's
that's how
skilled I am
that's how
good I am
it had the
move up
came up to
you
it still
slowed
yeah
also should
no longer
be frightened
pretty much
now rolls
recovery stuff
that bleed
is still
tanking it
it takes
four points
of damage
he rolls
a recovery
and fails
heart
it's your
go
this thing's
right in
front of
you
sure
is
yeah
I'll run
with my
friends
heart
heart
will
hey
hey
soren
I'm
snoring
so I took
this feat
this level
and I would
like to make
a narrative
declaration
I don't care
how many hero
points I need
to spend
for this
soren
I want
this to
happen
I have a
swim speed
of 60
feet
that's cool
and all
but soren
I got the
water sprint
feat
I can run
over water
surf
I can run
on water
I can't
end
I can't
end
movement
on water
surfacing
I can only
run
and then
it
you know
plonks
right
right in
but soren
for thematic
purposes
alone
can I
run down
the water
stream
all on
thanks
how many
hero points
I'll let you
do it
how many
hero points
make it
fair
thanks
yeah I
narratively
declare that
I can run
on water
and I
run on
water
I
narratively
declare that
I am
Jesus
I'm
Joshua
of
Nazareth
not
Josh
60 feet
60 feet
spin speed
yeah
yeah
yeah
exactly
so 60
feet
yeah
and then
60 feet
off the
screen
oh
oh
he's just
off the
screen
huh
yeah
as you
all arrive
you'll see
Navadeth
Garavan
Wello
and Shum
come up
to the side
of the
bank
here
I'm gonna
add them
all here
yeah
I'm gonna
grab them
that's what
I wanted
to do
oh
you're gonna
grab them
yes
that's smart
you see them
there
and you see
a heart
it's like
we've heard
a bunch of
commotion
is everything
fine
we can't
see past
this
drastic
fog
so do I
have one
actually
yes
I wanna
grab as
many of
these
goobers
as I
possibly
can
I have
a maximum
boat
definitely
not
possible
in
one
action
to
carry
them
but
they
can
all
get
in
the
boat
fully
understandable
can I
push
them
in
yes
you sure
can
thank
you
as soon as you can get behind the boat
for and get ready to push
damn screen
all right
you see that they all can position themselves
Nomadeth will get into the front of the boat
he takes out
he takes out this
huge weapon
this huge weapon
you see he takes out
a morning star
and he's just like
he's like
he's like
I don't know what's in front of them
in front of them
my companion
like
what are you facing
it's huge
the devil himself
it's a huge cock man
the devil is a part of rock
right out of the house
to kind of put a term
he's like
a huge cock you say
I haven't wrestled with those
since years ago
it's a huge cock
puppeteered by hands
like a bunch of hands
are all over it
oh no
hands on the cock
all over the cock
yeah it's making its move
all over the place
the head blew off
oh
oh
yeah
he wasn't wearing a helmet
what's here
yeah it's leaking liquid
and everything
it's in your fucking turn
beetle you're going
you now
you now notice the boat
and everything
uh
well heart
sorry I skipped your thing
roll me in athletics
to push the boat
I was gonna say
hey
would you say that
you know
with Tevok
possessing it
that uh
it's got the clap
fuck off
plus 69
I got a Tolo 34
to push the boat
away from Talim
and his yokes
you're able to push them
right by
right by
beetle and them
up the stream here
heck yeah
10 out of 10
beetle you see
you see the boat
coming
creaning towards you
as Navadath
and goes
master beetle
don't worry
hurry
get through the cave
okay
he's like
what do you mean
that's a huge
car
and he's seeing him
Navadath will point
his morning star
at the giant
cockatrice
yep
you bet
okay so
uh
uh
if I light a torch
is the fog so thick
that it'll swallow it
or will it create
like a nice bloom
of light
one more time
if I light a torch
yes
will it create
a nice bloom
of light in the fog
or will the fog
smother it completely
like if the cockatrice
you feel it won't be
as effective here
as you're thinking
would the cockatrice
be able to see
the light of the torch
or no
uh
at a certain distance
it'll notice it
okay
uh
so
I'm going to
put my gun away
below
oh
that's a zero
next to my torch
Taleem
give me your
ever-burning torch
I guess
can I hold
my action
to see if
Taleem
follows up
like
I
you can delay
your turn
if you want
I was going to say
like
each of you
had
one of the
the lights
when I
when I cast
the lights
oh we have
lights on us
yeah he cast
light earlier
oh I thought
the lights
were stagnant
there
I didn't know
they were on
yeah sorry
I didn't know
you like
put light
on everybody
my bad
yeah that's why
I did like
four I was
giving one to like
each to everybody
oh yeah
you have a light
on you
for for references
so we don't have
to have
um
the spell effect
on the entire time
because I can't
attach it
easily
I'll just say
you're just going to
peel away
from the group
I'll just give you
a torch
for your character
and then I'll
just activate it
and then you'll
just have
that
basically you'll
have a torch
or you have
a light source
near you
okay
that's lean
provided
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
okay
sorry
can I
move
5 feet
here
and then
climb
10 feet
up the tree
yeah
I'll allow it
okay cool
beetle's going to
do all of this
yelling
I'm over here
and I've got
the thing
the thing
that you want
the thing
you know
the thing
I'm over here
he's climbing
up the tree
ayayaya
okay
that'll be my turn
you don't want to get
fucking eaten
like
I don't know
what the reason
about this
it's like
you got a 60 foot
swift
you should have
just ran up
the river
the boat
has to get
by
yeah
you have to like
look at where it is
and the boat
having to go up the river
we need it away
from the bank
I'm trying to lead it here
and then I want to try
to like see if I can
jump over here
and then climb that tree
after I can get it
to come
I'm like
I'm trying to get it
away from the water
so you guys
great
it's your turn
all right
five
moving up
to be up here
next to beetle
and then she's going to
fling her mom
Bailey at the cockatrice
to try and assist
in getting its attention
because they need
to get that boat
by baby
oh please god
that is a total
of 28 to hit
hit
well obscure
yeah
let me let me roll
the obscure first
let me roll
the obscure first
yes let's go
all right
rolling for damage
that is a total
of 10
and I'm going
to use my last
action to try
and strike it again
would I need
to do obscure
again
yes yes
yes
okay
that's a five
you're good
all right
it's one to four
so you're good
and I missed anyway
with a total
you see a hand
climbing on top
of the tree
as if it's going
for a beetle
it stops though
and it makes
a little motion
as it's like
it's talking to you
gray
and it's like
we could be a family
you could join us
you can just
all I have to do
is you know
acquire you
and you can be
part of us
you can join
you can join
you don't have to leave
shut up
shut up
you can stay
give it to me
please give it to me
can she
can she
slap it
can she smash it
with her fist
yeah
and you go
it just explodes
at the end of your turn
that's it
Talim
all right
so
as they
like run off
you know
like back
onto land
and are like
trying to distract it
like Talim
like looks at them
and
like looks back
at the boat
and he will then
uh fly
25 feet over here
like a needle
and uh
I will now
orbital rail cannon
strike
the uh
the cockatrice
as uh
Talim takes
one of the coins
that he
commonly flips
through his fingers
like one of the
coins
and uh
I will cast
magnetic
acceleration
as he essentially
uh
channels
electricity
magnetic force
through his arm
and will fire
off the coin
like a rail cannon
shot
oh my god
give me attack roll
the attack rolls
with a plus 14
I have a hero
point
I can reroll
that
so free to reroll
and
I fucking
miss
just pretty much
just a
beam
just goes right
by it
unfortunately
not a hit
I knew I
should
cast
sure
strike
it's that
when Talim
does it
he realizes
that he picked
up a coin
he uses
like a silver
coin for it
but he's
ah
okay
okay
okay
okay
missed
he's not used
to flying yet
oh yeah
yeah
yeah
that makes sense
and that's the
end of my turn
it moves
uh oh
that's all the
turn it can do
because it's
slowed
he has used
both of its actions
to get up to you
beetle
so the hands
are now
kind of like
grabbing onto
your gun
like gently
pulling and
stuff
they're like
little
dooders
just like
trying to
like help
and it's like
give it to us
give it to us
it's trying to
look around your
ankle and you
see the
talismans
not at your
ankle
one of them
takes a dog
stance
and the
hand
back
when this
cockatrice
is this
big
and beetle
is in
in the
fucking
tree
like this
this is
some
jurassic park
shit
pretty much
it fails
with a recovery
check
and takes
seven points
of bleed
damage
it's
going
down
heart
yeah
soren
i'm gonna
race by
with a
funny boat
okay
i'm gonna
go
sorry
now i'm
not supposed
to be
on this
side
yeah
i'm gonna
go
uh
noom
noom
vroom
vroom
uh
all the
way
right by
yeah
i'm gonna
go
yeah
over there
and then
as that
happens
heart is
gonna let
go of it
and like
the momentum
uh
presumably
will like
let them
keep on
going
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
and as
as you're
passing by
it
yeah
uh
namadath
will get
a swing
you see
namadath
will have
his weapon
up and
he kind
of sees
the cockroach
going
allow me
to help
and he
takes his
weapon
and he
basically
swings
at that
thing
yeah
and
you
did
do a
drive
by
morning
yeah
he did
he doesn't
roll super
well but he
still hits
and he
will do
a total of
16 points
of damage
you know
like tons
of the hands
explode
you accidentally
gave that to
uh to
namadath
for some reason
i had the
right thing
selected
here we go
like 16
points of
damage
heart
shout
to them
keep on
going
we will
take this
from here
and then
he will
turn around
look towards
beetle
in the
freaking
top of
this
godang
tree
and
he sees
the perfect
opportunity
when this
massive
beheaded
creature
is too
busy
looking at
his boy
his best
boy
his little
guy
his rotten
soldier
his stinky
sheep
all right
all right
yeah
and
we can
help you
if you
need
heart
enters
his kinetic
aura
soren
yeah
i'm gonna
punch this
thing in
its butt
okay
god
it's
cloaca
no
right where
the sun
doesn't
shine
in the
cloaca
no
not
his
cloaca
i hate
it here
kiwi cover
your ear
holes
soren
i want
i want
a massive
rock to
appear
with
underneath
it
that is
shaped
like a
face
okay
i
hit
the
funny
chicken
i
shmiss
i
use
a
hero
point
to
reroll
you got
the same
number
that's
that's
another
tally
for
the
the
moment
all
of
the
times
where
our
hero
points
have
rolled
and
the
same
fucking
number
appears
true
they
they
can
take
it
and
give
it
away
the
funny
rock
it's
so
cool
it's
so
cool
it's
ten
feet
too
far
to
right
oh
my
god
that's
my
turn
okay
so
you've
heard
you've
heard
of
nomadess
and
wello's
um
offers
i'm
like
we
can
help
here
in
this
bathroom
no
keep
going
i don't
know
we might
need
the
help
i'm
just
saying
beetle's
gonna
leap
off
this
tree
uh
hold on
i think
i have
to roll
to take
damage
when i
land in
the bush
so i'm
gonna leap
five
ten
i'm gonna
land
here
uh
i think
i have
to roll
is it
1d6
per feet
of damage
that i
fell
hold on
no
no
it's uh
it's half
of the distance
traveled
if you
half of the distance
traveled
if you fall
beyond
ten feet
oh pog
yeah
okay
so
would i roll
wait wait wait
say that again
just roll
just roll a d6
and we'll just do that
okay
it's half of the distance
traveled if you pass
beyond ten feet
also known as
if you jump down
for ten feet
you don't take
damage
okay but i just
jumped down ten feet
yeah
you should be good
then you don't take
damage
okay no damage
oh huge pog
okay
yeah
okay so i'm gonna
land here
uh beetle's gonna
keep barking
at the cockatrice
i'm gonna go
five feet this way
and then i'm gonna
climb up ten feet
on this tree
great it's your turn
he's just leaned into
the funny dog bit
at this rate
i love it
didn't beetle say
in the earlier part
of this session
i'm not a dog
and shot someone
for it
yeah he did
gray is going to
reel back to swing
her mom baile
while also going
if you feel like
you can help
that'd be great
but we want to
make sure you're
safe
uh so she's going
to swing
oh please
please let me
roll
roll
no it's a critical
miss
oh my god
no
i'm gonna put in
a new pole
don't do that
hey why don't
how about we
don't do that
how about we
don't do that
you don't have
to do that
you don't have
to do that
yeah you don't
have
and then gray
is going to
move
20 feet
this way
oh god
and she's gonna
try and swing
again
because that is
my last
action
and i missed
with a nat
one
i'm gonna go
lay down
i'm gonna go
lay down
i'll see you
guys
well
um
guys it's been
real
i mean well
one thing that
could save you
from the
complication
technically you
have to do
the obscuring
rolls before
you roll
that's true
yeah let's
say they even
rolls
yeah
actually i rolled
a four for
you so
i didn't even
i mean
i accidentally
hit i hit that
on accident
that's okay
worry about it
so technically
it didn't hit
either way
technically it
didn't even
happen
oh my god
oh my god
we're technically
with the rules
but we fluff
shit all the
time
i'm gonna give
you a complication
yeah yeah
hit me
hit me
yeah hit me
we just keep
forgetting about
the obscuring
thing and it's
funny
hmm
hmm
i got to
have like
one cool
thing and
that was
it
it's true
you got
two quits
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
as i look
for the
look for all
the stuff
i'm just like
i'm just like
picking at my
fingers here
waiting
same thing
happened in
the rock
hmm
good to know
reminder to
everyone at
home that
uh terrain
is very
important in
pathfinder
because if you
stand behind a
fun little wall
you get to be
obscured
that's very
disturbing
i'm going to
uh use this
one it's a
too specific
for the call
but i will
manipulate it
thank you so
great for this
complication called
baron
as you threw
your weapon to
try to hit the
monster somehow
like from way
up top the
rock just
and then like
some other
debris falls
which like
pretty much
knocked your
weapon down
you're able to
whoom and
return it
because you
have returning
and stuff
um
but you hear
from all
up top
say like
sorry
i dropped
all of my
things
sorry
great just
looks up and
like throws
her arms in
the air
like are
you kidding
me
you see
baron
way up
in the
ceiling
there's
like a
hole
like a
like a
cross walk
up there
or something
from the
top of the
cave systems
and you just
see baron
and little
nugget
just kind
sorry about
that
great just
like flailing
her arms
like dude
what
thank you
so great
for that
complication
if you
too want
to fuck
us up
it's
patreon.com
forward slash
narrative declaration
where you
can also
but yes
gray did
shout to
namadeath
and the
gang like
if they
wanted to
help
they wouldn't
say no
to it
just make
sure that
they're
safe first
salim
all right
so
who here
is familiar
with the
fate series
oh no
no
no
oh no
i don't
like bad
anime
all three
of my
actions
and uh
will open
the gate
of the
sands
uh-huh
and unleash
the treasure
of the
magi
as i
cast force
barrage
with three
actions
so everyone
went dead
on my end
my internet
died
apparently
uh-oh
so i was like
it's very quiet
what's happening
you came back
you came back
no worries
but for
talim uh
just yeah
uh you can
adjust your
stuff you need
but talim you
basically
cast big spell
yeah i cast
big spell
as uh
basically uh
six spears
made completely
out of magic
uh will
just
coalesce in
the air
around talim
and uh
fire out
at the uh
at the
tevok
cockatrice
hybrid
and
wait
there it is
yeah
the tevokatrice
yeah
the tevokatrice
yeah
and they just
uh
hurtle through
the air
shut up
how many
how many bolts
are you doing
because this is
basically magic
missile
all right
yeah i was doing
roll that six
times
okay
so
one was four
just keep
rolling damage
okay
well actually
i can do
this
what
oh wait
no
it won't let me
what are you trying
to do
i was trying to
like roll multiple
at the same time
uh you just do it
one at a time
what you can do
you can right click
the force broads thing
in chat
pop out message
so it'll just be
its own window
you just keep clicking
oh there we go
click roll
click roll
click roll
there you go
that's perfect
oh it for some reason
it changed it to acid
i don't know why
it's fine
i'll take it as force
yeah
so one two three four four
that's the rest of it
okay
pretty much
just pretty much
just all your spears
come in
just exploding with magic
when it impacts
stab it into it
and you deal
18 force damage
health bar go down
we're helping
you see hands
trying to jump up
to try to like
intercept your missiles
and stuff
and just
just
just a little
wave
laying into him
and all you're just
hearing just hands
all around you
Talim just going
you can't
you can't keep it away
it's going to be ours
we had an arrangement
we had a plan
we had an understanding
it must be ours
we also want a friend
Talim looks down
and he's like
i have altered the terms
of the deal
pray why
i do not alter them further
in rage
as i put him on the wrong thing
in rage
chat voted
on either
willow or
nomadeth
will join in the battle
and they have voted
for nomadeth
i'm going to have him
roll initiative
the large land
he rolled a natural one
he stumbles out of the boat
i will help
i love him so much
he's not doing super great
in his armor in the water
he like jumps out the boat
he's like
i can't swim
holy fuck
the cockatrice will turn
to you heart
and you hear
and pretty much just
as it stabs into you
pecking at you
i don't have a villain point
so i can't re-roll
that 22 i roll
but i'll try to peck at you again
we're going
and it misses a two
on the die
not a good roll
plinks
plonks
yeah plinking plonking
it just
just the
heart is too cool
the beak
just not making a good landing
it'll still take that bleeding damage
makes the recovery
fails once more
critical failure
heart
it's your turn
yeah okay
soren
i want to trip the bird
okay
so since this is a big ass boy
that typically means
that its reflex is bad
i'm not assuming
but that's just typically
what happens
can you trip when it's two sizes bigger
i sure can
i can do maneuvers in general
when it's two sizes bigger
because i have titan wrestler
so i want to trip it
sure can
roll me athletics
heck yeah
let's
freaking go
i rolled a four
total
i want to re-roll that
with my hero point
i just saw somebody in chat
it's like
a grand success
followed by a grand failure
i nominate nomadeath
as an honorary goon
that is how we rock
he's in the
he's in the spirit
he's got it
i love him
you should see the trip
it is
it is
heart
heart
grips onto its headless neck
and
screams
ddt
as he slams it in through
oh my god
and then
now that it is
on the ground
i wish to use
two action
elemental
blast
on this creature
actually
roll me obscure
for the trip
oh fun
that's true
that's true
that's true
true on you
good on you
for being a good game master
pure skill
all right
roll me obscure again
for the next attack
you're doing
unless it's an
headcount
don't worry about it
it's pure skill
it does not happen
because you roll a two
i'm gonna lay down
it's your turn
yeah it's your turn
i imagine
that
heart
it hits
the tobacatrice
with the stone cold
stunner
and it just
no-sails it
it's just like
no
it's like
it stains back up
heart looks down at it
like
come on man
come on
just don't
don't embarrass me
we're my friends
he's gonna climb up
an additional
15 feet
uh
he's going to
twist around
where he's
clinging to the tree
and he's going to
devise a strategy
of aiming his
jazelle
at chicken
okay
he knows
that he will
shoot that chicken
right in its cloaca
right through the cloaca
again
bark bark bark bark
he's so damaged
look at that health bar
oh
and then
beetle is going
to reload
and
my turn
hey
snoring
i'm snoring
all right
you're right
because it just
dawned on me
at the same time
too
rob me
concealment
frongy
oh yeah
oh no
oh no
let's see what
happens
you're good
consume it
see
namadathro
i'm fine
even though he
rolled after one
his initiative is still
high enough to get him
at a 21
over gray and
taleem
and so
you will see him
see if he's able to do
what he wants to do
he is going to move up
over in this position
he's going to go like
hello
allow me to assist you
for helping me
he's got like water
like pouring out of his
armor
he's coming out of the
orifice
and stuff
uh you see that he
will pop up
and what he will do
hmm
he's got a whole bunch
of stuff that he can
try to do
uh
sure can
he can try everything
i've got
i've got the clang ready
hit it with the big hit
come on
come on
there's
there's several things
you can do
god damn
it's like i forgot
i gave him a bunch
of shit
i don't know
can he do
can he do
a fucking
overhead swing
i don't know
can he just
fucking kill that guy
you don't know
you see
you see uh
nomadeth
will basically
uh
like get his
morning star ready
and he kind of
does like an
underhand
just like
as it
scrapes down
on the ground
and erupts
in flames
as he casts
hellfire
plume
and uh
basically the
carcassist has
to make
a reflex save
because he calls
for the plume
of hellfire
and pretty much
just erupts
forward as he
pretty much
tries to
cook it
alive
yeah yeah
that's cool
as shit
what the fuck
yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah
and the carcassist
critically fails
that means it's gonna
be double damage
means this fire
does a fire
and spirit damage
that's a lot of dice
and he does 28 points
of damage
that's a lot
of damage
this fire erupts
all around
just
and he's like
and uh
he kind of like
kind of
he just kind of
scratches his helmet
a little bit
and he goes
I didn't mean to go
that hard
sorry
oh that's
satan
uh
that's the end
of his turn
grey
grey
grey has her
her mom baile back
and she's looking at it
after looking up
at the ceiling
because
baron just
appeared
out of nowhere
sorry
yeah you owe me
for that
no I don't
yes you do
go to the start
and get some good
oh my god
she's gonna throw
her mom baile
at the cockatrice
roll me obscure
yeah I'm gonna
roll obscure first
actually
uh
I gotta do it
for him too
that's a 19
I forgot to do it
for Namadeth
and he fails
actually
he gets that
all the HP back
oh no
he's not as
go
sorry
I can't
fucking
he does it
somewhere else
yeah
but grey
you're good
alright
I'm gonna roll
oh it is a save
isn't it
yeah you're right
hold on
I'm gonna miss
no
I reapply that damage
no he does it
because it is a save
hell yeah
alright
well I missed
with a total
of 23
but I do have
my final hero point
and I want
this chicken
to die
yeah yeah
yeah
and I missed
again
I missed again
with the same
number
are you kidding
me
on the tally
on the tally
I'm going to cry
because I have
no hero points
left
and I'm just
like
I'm gonna
just
try again
with the
negative 5
please god
oh wait
I have to do
obscure again
obscure
obscure
you're good
that's a 13
okay
I'm gonna try again
oh hey
you hit
it hit this time
ayyy
with a total of 25
I'm gonna roll
that damage
that's a total
of 10
just
slicing into it
and she's gonna
take a step back
not just for me
all right
Talim
can see that
this thing is like
on its last legs
and he's looking
at everybody
like
uh
uh
Namadeth
is waterlogged
uh
the beetles
in a tree
barking
uh
gray has
you know
like take a step
back
Talim is actually
going to take
his first action
to move
in
and move
down
uh
so he can get
within
range
of this
and he's
then going to
take
two actions
to perform
a spell
strike
oh
get him
get him
as he uh
unlinks
all of the um
all of the blades
of the ass
coil
takes into
his whip
form
and he
will bring
it overhead
in a strike
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
let's see it
last hit it
last hit it
last hit it
last hit it
rage
come on
rage
no
that's a
three on the
die
god
damn it
I fucking
knew it
I just
what the fuck
dude
what the fuck
all right
that's all my
actions
why did you
do that
why did you
do that
why did you
do that
it's the
dice
it's just
the dice
oh
man
the cockatrice's
turn
yeah
we could've
had it all
well at least
it doesn't
survive another
round
it doesn't
need to get
out to hit
you
heart
they'll take
its penalties
but it's all
desperation
it goes
don't worry
pecks at you
hits you
I'm tussling
with it
is you
for 46
is this
a new
entity
this entity
hits you
for 24
points of
damage
does it
count as a
new entity
yes or
no
I don't
know what
that means
does it
is it a
new creature
soren
is it a
new creature
from before
no
it's
possessing a
creature
so it's
still the
same
brought me
this far
two
oh
also
I'm
secure
I see
it actually
hits you
yeah
it does
it sure
does
roll me the
four
two
please
yeah
I roll
a 29
for critical
success
you're very
good
I made
of stone
I can't
be turning
to stone
it switches
its target
it can't
get you
well
Tileem you
had to fly
down to
get to
him
right
yeah
because you
had to
melee him
and spell
strikes
you are in
range
it looked
to
you
to
lean
for
a second
attack
as it
spins
around
and
and it
misses
just by a
little bit
because it's
prone
and that's
the end
of its
turn
heart
also
to take
the bleed
damage
recovery
check
it succeeds
heart
it's
your
turn
you
see
this
thing
thrashing
down
on the
ground
just
going
nothing
but
just
hands
being
flung
everywhere
as it
just
seems
more
more
frustrated
just
like
no
this
was
supposed
to
be
I
was
supposed
to
get it
I
was
supposed
to
acquire
a
friend
and
it
just
keeps
thrashing
and
hands
keep
going
you
you
know
one
lands
near
you
gray
and
it
just
wiggles
heart
you're
muted
if you're
trying
to
talk
wait
hold
up
everything's
fine
on my
end
heart
keeps
trying
to
talk
and
I'm
hearing
nothing
I'm
confused
oh
oh
oh
discord
messed
up
that's
why
I was
noticing
discord
itself
messed up
give me
a second
ah
the
server
so
for
podcast
listeners
for those
who don't
know
what's
going
on
basically
we
record
everything
off
discord
like
in
rock
ground
we usually
have
individual
tracks
because
sometimes
the
guys
aren't
the
best
at
getting
near
the
microphone
sometimes
I
have
to
go
in
there
and
adjust
the
volume
a
whole
bunch
normally
in discord
for us
for
them
we're
able
to
adjust
it
pretty
well
discord
itself
for the
server
decided
to die
that it's
going to
rejoin
I already
did
I already
did
like
several
times
it was
like
I was
like
you know
basically
what's
happening
is that
just
the
thing
itself
isn't
yeah
there
it
now
it
works
yeah
okay
yeah
okay
we got
salty
we got
cab
supposedly
it's
solar
activity
no one
no one
heard
exactly
what you
were talking
about
salty
so
super
quick
summary
like
in a
sentence
yes
supposedly
it's
solar
activity
that is
freaking
up
the
connection
I mean
your
turn
we're
gonna
keep
moving
on
yeah
two
actions
I
hit
the
funny
creature
I
successfully
hit
the funny
creature
with
my
elemental
blast
my
elemental
blast
is that
heart
wrestles
this thing
and grips
it around
its neck
until he
squeezes out
as many
hands as
he can
and with
that
oh god
it dies
you see
Teva's
multiple hands
multiple hands
begin to
dissipate
several of
them like
into the
waters
it's like
you turned
on the
lights
and
cockroaches
just
all around
it
and the
only thing
left
of the
cockatrice
yes
and breaks
its back
I can't
believe you
did the
cockatrice
like Bane
did the
Batman
that's right
baby
but you
see what
is left
of the
cockatrice
is no
more flesh
no more
flesh
no feathers
no skin
no nothing
nothing but
bone
I was
gonna eat
so you
just snap
it just
just kind
of like
falls down
and as
as it
dies
you hear
just sobbing
you're just
sobbing as
if just
something is
crying
something is
born full
but you
also hear
just a
as the
fog begins
to dissipate
what the
frick
I hate
this
we should
go
let's get
out of
here
yeah
yeah we
should get
out of
here
back to
the boat
back to
the boat
yeah
Nabadeth
will issue
everyone
towards the
boats
they have
everybody hop
inside
and with
your swim
speed
thanks to
lock
you're able
to either
help push
the boat
or continue
on forward
in the
cave
yeah
yep
inward
towards the
cave of
course we
need to
get out
of here
yeah
into the
cave
yeah we
need to
get out
of here
as any
of you
as any
of you
may look
back
you'll
see
that you'll
see the
forest that
you're leaving
behind
and you do
see a couple
of leshies
who are
watching from
afar
both of the
sunflower
fleshies
waving you
goodbye
yeah
oh I love
them
I love
them
as the
cockatrice
explodes
I don't
look back
welcome to
raccoons by
michael bay
yeah
sorry I'm
adjusting things
for you guys
here
unacceptable
how dare
disgusting
fucking
disgusting
I can't
believe it
you're back
in the
boats
we're back
in the
boat
you're back
in the
boat
sailing down
as you
did before
all your
buffs now
have now
dissipated
for context
and you're
sailing down
once again
with everybody
I'm hungry
heart cracks
off a crystal
from the wall
and starts
eating
okay
the
tevuk
will
shuffle in
and he's
kind of
checking
everything
going okay
we have
this
have
this
and he
looks at
you all
going like
what manner
of beast
was that
you mean
nomadeth
yeah nomadeth
looks to you
all and says
what manner
of beast
was that
oh
cockatrice
and then
some hand
thing
what was
that deal
he was
talking about
so like
uh
to lean
like
he's like
on the
boat
but he's
kind of
like
sitting
there
thinking
and
um
like
as
beetle
says
that
to lean
will
turn
around
he'll be
like
apparently
it is
a
collector
but it
seeks
not
just
material
gains
but also
people
in some
twisted
search
for
companionship
it seems
to be
something
that does
not
truly
understand
what it
means
why us
like
why us
heart
says
as he
scratches
his
discord
died
again
i was
in here
like
they were
just staring
at each
other
like
fucking
discord
it's
okay
we'll
leave it
off
for
that
so
chat
as
discord
itself
begins
to
destroy
communications
once again
to where
we can't
communicate
our
ventures
discuss
further
on
of what
they
fought
what
they
saw
and
also
the
battle
that they
have
just
concluded
with
the
mighty
cockatrice
and the
hang
of the
underworld
they
continue
down
through
the
narrow
ways
and
sought
underneath
the
pond's
palacer
or even
somewhere
else
under
the
city
of
outset
they
have
traveled
far
under
these
mushroom
laden
underways
left
and
right
of
them
and we'll
see what
happens
next
time
chat
whatever
hopefully
discord
servers
no longer
mess up
or anything
else
again
we'll try
to see
if we can
get them
back
nope
it's
still
broken
we
could
hear
we
were
responding
to you
the
entire
time
oh my
god
all right
just to
summarize
just kind of
end up
before discord
continues to
die
yeah
yeah
yeah
i did a
recap
pretty much
you guys
are now
leaving back
on the
boats
continuing
down the
waterways
underneath
the city
of outset
you've no
idea where
you are
you've no
idea where
this is
exactly
taking you
unless she
did not
give you
any more
information
but we'll
see where
you end
up next
time on
rock goons
yippee
yay
you guys
want to
quickly plug
yourself
uh before
discord dissipates
quickly minerva
yeah sure
ah uh
party demoness
on all socials
come hang out
love to have
you
cabal
uh you can
find me at
cabal on
twitter on
youtube on
twitch
and all
these other
places thanks
for coming
and hanging
out everybody
sorry
froggy
froggy
luck on
everything
have a
great rest
of your
time zone
salty
this is a
threat
salty job
aurora borealis
this time of
year this
time of day
entirely localized
within my
stream
can i see
it
no and
speaking of
seeing it
hi i'm
zoran i've
been your
host and
game master
for this
evening hope
you all had
an absolutely
lovely time
thank you all
so much for
chilling with
us thank you
so much for
being supportive
remember patreon.com
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narrative declaration
if you want to
see these bunch of
goobers and all
of us along with
thurston go play
kingmaker uh the
first episode is
live on youtube
right now on the
youtube channel if
you want to watch
us do it it's
really funny we're
having a fantastic
time the second
episode's a riot so
you're going to be
able to get that
exclusively on patreon
exclusive show after
the first one so
if you're on the
five dollars here
yeah five dollars
to get all those
episodes and new
episodes coming out
on tuesday real
quick so love you
all very much thank
you all so very
much again and
we'll see you all
next time so long
farewell bye
bye
fuck you discord
i can't believe
discord in the sun
it's