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Micro wisdom delivered to your ears every morning in voice notes ranging from 3 to 15 minutes long. Wisdom on how to live a healthier and more fulfilling life. Every podcast will ground you in the present moment to ensure you know what's important, the here and now.
Good morning, everybody. So I've just finished book club number two on how to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie. We've read of chapter three so far. Just some brilliant advice in the book, and we spoke about it. How, like, a three stage prong attack to worry, it's like, what is the worst thing that can happen?
Speaker 1:Step one. Step two is to genuinely accept that. Okay. That's happened. What could happen?
Speaker 1:Step three is what can I do to make the worst thing a little less worse? You know? The stoics to call this premeditation of evils. It's a few things, you know. This is like quite ancient advice to do, but it just reminded me again tonight how awesome our members are, how you are listening.
Speaker 1:So, like, some people going through health scares and still waiting to finish treatment and still looking after their health. You know? Like, that's amazing. You know, a lot of people when they hit with bad news, they get hit in the face of bad news, and they roll over. And that's it.
Speaker 1:It's game over. They've rolled over. Could take years to get back up. Maybe never get back up. Some people kidney, for example, has overcome cancer, is in remission, nearly out of remission soon, and hopefully that happens.
Speaker 1:Raising a kid as a single mother, living with inner means, being a good role model for him, getting time for him, time for her health, time to to train. Sometimes she can't train. She can only get steps in, like she says. Brilliant. Some days, she can't do the macros.
Speaker 1:Some days, the win is not having those drinks in the pub. These things matter. The lifestyle factors matter, the reasons why we do something. What doesn't matter is, oh, shit. I've gone over by 50 calories.
Speaker 1:That doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Going all the way a 100 calories, that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Obviously, weight loss might be an op a goal for people. But, really, you're not gonna get weight loss by really focusing on the minute minute calories. It's more like, am I living honestly day to day?
Speaker 1:Am I honestly understanding what's happening on Saturday and Sunday? If I don't like to track into a lap and just, like, you know, tap, tap, tap, Can I voice note and track in other ways, or can I just write down something so I'm aware? Like, can I bringing honesty into our living is the main thing we wanna be doing because then we're accountable? We understand where we're at. But we understand where we're at.
Speaker 1:We can work from that. You can't work from an illusionary state you're in. If you think you don't have if you think this is happening, it's actually something else, how can you work from her? You know, it's impossible. You're working from an illusion.
Speaker 1:And a piece of advice I gave in the chat yesterday, which isn't obviously for me, is from a guy called Jack O'Willnick. Will will Jack O'Willnick or whatever his name is. He's like an ex Navy Seal. He says to people, like, they're coming to him with problems. So someone will come to him with problems like, oh my god.
Speaker 1:I might lose my job. He says, good. Oh my god. I might my girlfriend might leave me. Good.
Speaker 1:Oh my god. I'm injured. I'm out for six weeks. Good. Oh my god.
Speaker 1:I might lose my house. The mortgage's going up. Good. The reason and the guy goes, why do you keep saying good when I say you've got real problems? He's like, because you're gonna learn something from those problems.
Speaker 1:And those things you learn are gonna make you who you are. Those things you learn are gonna be the things that build your character, and that's, in the end of the day, what matters in his life is the character you're able to build over time. They require challenges. They require you to go through tough times, and they require you not to give up. They require you to to try and live with a cool head through problems.
Speaker 1:You can make 10,000 more problems for you if you want, or you can look at the real core problems and really focus on how bad these problems and is it a good thing that I can get through them. Because you say to someone, I wanna hire someone who's really good, senior manager. And you have someone who's a newbie, and you have someone who says, look. I've gone through three companies that have nearly gone bust, and I have to not save the company, but kind of help through that chaos. You'd be like, that person's been through it.
Speaker 1:Their character's built through chaos. Potentially, better choice. We don't know. Maybe other factors. Think about the people that are maybe the most wise people you speak to in your life.
Speaker 1:They're typically a lot of people that have gone through a lot of shit. It is how it is usually. The people who haven't been through much don't tend to have wise opinions or views. They tend to have very kind of immature views on things. And it's like, one day, you'll see.
Speaker 1:One day, these things will slap you and you'll realize, wow. I was walking through an easy life, and then real problems started coming. And then again, could fold, roll over. But not you guys and not our members, you know, rolling over. You're still in you're still going.
Speaker 1:And Sarah Dodds, instead of putting pieces of advice in, you know, she said, I've I really like my job. And when I have problems in my job, I think, wow, you know, these are problems that are annoying, but, actually, would I prefer to have problems in a job I'm like doing that I wanted to be here or maybe a job that I'm not liking? You know? Okay. Good.
Speaker 1:I've got this gratitudes coming. I actually wanna be in this job even though this sucks right now. I actually want to be in this sucky suck place, not in that place. I got my mortgage renewal coming up. She said, could go up a lot.
Speaker 1:What can I do? Well, I could worry about it a lot, but I could say, I'm very fortunate to have a mortgage in this time, very fortunate to have a house. And I can preplan. And if I can cut this, cut this, cut this, my lifestyle drops a bit, but it allows me to make those payments without really worrying too much about it causing different problems. This is how you deal with things.
Speaker 1:The question is, are some people naturally more gifted at being able to deal with problems than others? I would say yes. But if you're someone that struggles with this type of mindset and stuff, it's about really honing it into one thing at a time. I was talking to people about kind of weight weight loss and tracking calories and stuff. And as you know, Turtle is a brilliant tracking app.
Speaker 1:You can search for foods, verify through database barcode scanner, restaurant menu, rest restaurant meals, guest track feature. So if you don't know if you have a burger, but you don't know it hasn't got a brand and it's from a pub, you can go and find a burger from another pub that's similar on tap tap guest track, and that's kind of really as good as you can get tracking wise. A lot of people fall short on weekends. They don't even bother doing that because it's like, I can't be bothered to get my phone out to do it. So I developed a new kind of tool that allows you to voice note and say, hey.
Speaker 1:I had this, this, this, and this. It'll find the averages for online verified food databases or restaurants and give you that. And you have some people being like, but it's not accurate, but it might be 50 calories off. It might not but it what's the point if you're not accurate about it? And these are people, okay, that clearly are still struggling with weight management as well.
Speaker 1:People who are following weight watchers or old approaches. Right? They're they're talking about trying to get perfectionist every outputs. And when you when you look back and you look you you wanna shake these people, you're like, but you are not perfect. So calorie tracking isn't perfect.
Speaker 1:If you wanna be trapped by the perfectionism that some people think you could do with calories, this is the bodybuilder world. The bodybuilder world. They're the ones that weigh absolutely everything to the gram, eating out, eating home, anywhere. Right? That's the most accurate way to weigh everything.
Speaker 1:Great. As normal folk, we can weigh some stuff if we want. If it's easier, I can weigh my cereal. It's very easy. Blah blah blah.
Speaker 1:But we're eating out the stuff. We want we we want a solution that's easy. Right? We don't need to be perfect. It's not about being perfect.
Speaker 1:But people are worrying, worrying, worrying of 20 calories, 30 calories. If what if one medium white loaf one medium slice of white bread is more calories than one medium brown slice of bread. How do you know the difference? How do you know what one piece of total calories is? Like, literally worrying about these things.
Speaker 1:And this is where, at least for coaches who are worth anything, take a bird's eye view with these things, and you can and all of you should do this and go, right. Is me worrying about twenty, thirty, 40 calories here and there that important, or should I be focusing more on my life still on the weekends and if I can have some form of awareness? Obviously, when you zoom out, it's the weekends. Right? But we're bogged down in the minor things.
Speaker 1:As Jim Rohn famously said, you you don't wanna major, you know, to a degree in the minor things, but we all do this. We're doing the eighty twenty the wrong way around. We're using 80% of our energy on the 20% of stuff that just does not matter. But the people that have breakthroughs and live lives of less worry, happier, more fulfilled, They're focusing on the 20% that delivers the 80. Once you figure this out, it is game changing.
Speaker 1:So don't get bogged down in these little details that just don't matter. Don't worry. 80% of your worries will be absolutely nothing to worry about. If you can really quickly identify these and stop it in this tracks, brilliant. Worry leads to stress.
Speaker 1:Stress leads to health problems. A lot of people are in hospital. A lot of illnesses and all that stuff are stress related, and it's really your own doing. Because it's not things that disturb you. It's your opinion about things that does epic theta, stoicism one zero one.
Speaker 1:Right? So what would you think about today is, am I worrying about shit doesn't matter? And if I am, how many times a day am I doing this? Two, if I were to direct my energy really truly to the 20% of things in my life that deliver 80% of my happiness, You know, the the two friends that deliver 80% of your happiness. Not focusing on eight friends and then, like, six of them are giving you all the stress you never see.
Speaker 1:They'll be trying to trying to see them again. There's all the stress and it says, no. They're making your life more stressed. But there's two friends, you your best friend, you spend time with them. Just focus on them.
Speaker 1:See what your work stuff. Whatever it is, focus on the true 20 and eliminate the rest. This is your job. This is what you're meant to do. And my last task for you to leave with you for the for the weekend, and I've mentioned this in Book Club as well, is I want you to brain dump, hand to paper, a four paper at least, just brain dump your thoughts, brain dump your life, brain dump your worries, brain dump all the things that come into your mind onto a piece of paper and spend twenty to thirty minutes.
Speaker 1:You can burn it after. You can read it. Just go through that process and see if it helps you. But I hope this is helpful. There's people going through way worse than us.
Speaker 1:There's people that aren't going through many shit. Okay. It doesn't matter. We'll all go through our own things. But what we want to do is we don't want to make more problems for ourselves.
Speaker 1:We don't want to make our problems worse than need to be. We do not want to catastrophize. This is in our control. Catastrophizing, right, you're doing it to yourself. Right?
Speaker 1:So you've got the power to really diminish a lot of your worries. If you choose to have a cool, calm head and live one day at a time, you can get through anything. That's a fact, and that's a promise. Enjoy your day. Enjoy your weekend.
Speaker 1:Come back here on Monday for another podcast.