Hacking Social Success: 10 Science-Backed Tips Explored

Hosts Ryan and Drew explore ten scientifically backed social hacks designed to improve interactions, ranging from subtle body language cues to psychological strategies. With their characteristic humor and banter, they discuss techniques like observing people's feet to gauge emotions, warming hands for better handshakes, using Botox to limit emotional expression, and leveraging the Benjamin Franklin effect to build rapport. The conversation delves into personal anecdotes and societal observations, such as the pitfalls of first impressions versus the lasting impact of final ones, and debates the effectiveness of each hack, ultimately selecting the least appealing ones.

Creators and Guests

Host

Ryan Rebalkin

Guest

Drew Clark

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Join host Ryan Rebalkin and his rotating guest hosts on The Worst of the Best Podcast, where they dive into the flaws of the best in pop culture and more. Covering genres like films, music, food, true crime, historical events, celebrity culture, and quirky societal trends, this podcast delivers a humorous, irreverent critique of the finest’s shortcomings.

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okay let's go what's rock'n'roll let's do it welcome to the worst of the best
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podcast you wanted the best well they didn't freak him naked so here's what
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you get from Canada and Florida Ryan and Drew
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[Applause]
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[Applause]
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all right welcome to the worst of the best podcast I am your host and with me today again drew still guest hosting it
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on the show we appreciate you coming on how you doing brother I am very very well today I hope you're doing very well
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I'm not sure if we're still keeping track of how many times this is when I get to the Dirty Dozen you'll let me know
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all right does it have to be dirty for me yeah okay okay well the does it will be dirty we'll get there I'm sure you're
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right your to get there sooner than later well last episode that we did together we talked about crazy cafeteria workers
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this one is a little bit more light a little bit more fun so no need to give anyone any warning about content this is
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actually a way for people to hack social situations as I say these are ten
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scientific scientific ways so the proven by science and studies to pack or to
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better yourself in social situations how are you generally speaking in social
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situations drew well how do you rate yourself in a social situation yeah I am a little too full of anxiety and
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awkwardness right now to even answer that question all right so I think that answers it right there well that
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probably does do it when I'm comfortable I think it's it's much different I'm
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actually pretty good yeah I'm pretty good at reading people and gauging the
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situation and pretty quick with coming up with things to say in certain situations now I don't always choose the
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right words all right being human I miss read something but for the most part throughout my 40 for
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your life I have found myself in social situations doing quite well and not really finding too much problem however
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even when I even thinking that about myself there were things in this list like oh yeah I'll do that I'll try that and there's one in particular that I
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really like however so this is a good list these are things that are good in today's episode we are picking that
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which hack which hack you think is the least effective or the one that you will
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just never do whatever that your reason is but you're gonna pick the worst of the top ten scientific ways to hack
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social situations so I think the more you think about how
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you act in social situations the more you lean towards this list if you are
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self conscious or self aware then you may utilize these things intentionally
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there are certain breeds of people that do these things unintentionally as well
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blessed be them when I find myself most successful in a social situation it's
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often because one two or three things on this list have been executed with
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perfection it doesn't feel organic but it does feel like there are ways to manipulate very
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ordinary situations and very successful people do them they do them
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intentionally I will jump into number ten and I'll tell you this one was news
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to me way to hack a social situation number 10 says pay attention to the
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other persons or the other people's feet now everybody thinks that you can tell a
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lot about people by looking at their eyes eye contact an eye movement is very
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very well-known to evoke emotional responses as well as indicate emotional
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feelings within the person pay attention to their eyes is sort of the old trick there are scientific studies that show
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that your feet can tell you whether or not someone is stressed or humiliated or
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humbled or shy or tired or hungry or angry or horny or nervous you can tell
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these things by looking at how they're positioning their feet moving their feet and whether or not they are
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subconsciously preparing to end the conversation by pointing their feet away
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from you or whether or not their stance as it would be is more indicative of
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wanting to continue that conversation pay more attention to the other people's feet now have you ever heard the old
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pickup line nice shoes ah or I thought it was big feet big
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shoes no no but there is a certain
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tactic attention to well if you're a man paying attention to a female shoes as a way to
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strike up conversation or as a way to compliment her in a way that she isn't
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often complimented find interested a you could look at someone's feet to see if they're horny I also find interesting
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that there are people who have feet fetishes that make them horny those two
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worlds collide I do think that you've sort of created a monster for that
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community it is kind of funny to me that you will see some of the more popular people on social media these days
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especially of the female variety that will post pictures of themselves and place emojis over their feet because
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they do understand that the foot fetish community is oh really so they actually sent to their feet they
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censor their feet yes they do alright so number nine our show is no exception and
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the Internet is no exception but everyone seems to have advice on what to do to prepare for a job interview or any kind of interview so depending on the
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source it may be anything from you know color coordinating your clothes to try to sleep with someone related to the
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interviewer that's a new one for me but none of this works however as interviewers and this is true I believe
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are usually looking for a quick decision-making ability and confidence in rarely preparedness the best way you
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can ace an interview is by knowing what you're talking about yes but also so
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this is the key but it's not how your hair is combed it's not you know if your clothes are coordinated they're saying
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in the souq and from science is warming your hands up before the handshake now if that sounds random it isn't studies
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have found that warmth can make someone kinder and more generous towards you so
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while they don't know exactly why this happens scientists say it may be a vestige from our early days shared
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warmth would have at some point helped us establish closer relationships with other people which would have in turn
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helped keep us all alive so for whatever reason the sensation of warmth is
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obviously appealing it's nothing worse when you shake someone's hand it's cold and clammy right no that is absolutely
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the worst I'll tell you I really really like these scientific hacks that go back
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to what you would call like an E and doll brain what is sometimes referred to in certain circles as like your reptile
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response which is subconscious things that are built-in evolutionarily things
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that make a lot of sense if you can imagine that we are all just
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hunter-gatherers plus a couple hundred years this one when they explained it
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and it's not about the coffee or the smell of the coffee or the fact that you're more alert or this or that it's
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simply the fact that your hand is warm that one blew my mind and it made a lot of sense to me I have an easy time
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believing those sorts of theories speaking of reptilian Minds if you haven't already to go back elicit or Hillary Clinton conspiracy theory
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episode and you'll be shocked at the sheer lack of reptilian conversation
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you're supposed to do the headline Gus clickbait right now we click bait in but you're right and we didn't we actually
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didn't talk about her being a reptilian that's a little bit too much it didn't make the list I know number eight it's
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on a science fact that you do to just sort of change the way that you act change your personality or your
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mannerisms this is an actual science act that is Botox now number eight on our
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list says stop feeling anything with Botox and there is actually scientific studies that have shown that well we
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know but Botox disables your face from being able to make certain gestures
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which sort of dumbs down the amount of emotion that you can show in your eyes
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and your lips and your cheeks or your eyebrows or your for it the places where
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you would choose to get injected there are studies that have shown that the physical lack of movement in your face
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can lead to a lack of developing those emotions within your mind so if you
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can't show that you're sad by crying or or making certain mannerisms on your
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face right then maybe it won't be sad if you can't show that you're upset or
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nervous then maybe you won't be those things it's a sort of a reversal of what
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they say is if you're sad you should just make yourself smile and
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that will force you to be happy this is along those lines I suppose so Botox as
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a physical change to your face will change how you feel which then would be
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related in your face I believe it you can't physically show how you're feeling
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I believe body language is an important part of how to read somebody usually it's rich people that do this people of
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a public nature because they feel like they have to stay young forever I don't think anyone has ever looked good when
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they Botox her face well we have HD cameras these days and we have sort of
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24/7 surveillance of people they can't protect their image in that way that
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they used to probably in the early days of Botox given a reasonable lighting and
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an HD camera you're gonna be able to pick those things up they could be judged as harshly as
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anyone wants to if you're into that sorry yeah I mean this is if we have any listeners a do plastic surgery on her
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face or let's stop I'll tell you this is just my personal opinion
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I have never looked at somebody who's bald and said to myself balding or whatever thinning hair and as a man I've
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never looked at that man said haha they're losing their hair haha it was
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the subject of many storylines involving George yes yeah makes for funny
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storylines on Seinfeld but wearing the toupee which was an episode on Seinfeld
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when I see a toupee and I know it's toupee then I'm like not that I'm gonna say it ha but now you've caught my
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attention and it's not positive but you grew my gaze to that rat on your head
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yes and then it's the same with Botox I've never looked at an older usually it's woman that did this kind of stuff
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usually and I've never looked at a woman said oh my goodness she's old
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she has wrinkles because she's 70 no I'm like oh she's 70 years old well she
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doesn't look like she's 20 anymore because that's called aging and everyone does it if you're lucky enough if you're lucky enough you age that's right and
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then but I'll see inflamed puffy faces and I'm like okay you don't have
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wrinkles but you look like an alien yeah there has been of change and what we accept from the
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people that choose to do that I think that they are accepting that they no longer look as a human or naturally
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human I guess so you know you can look to all forms of plastic surgery not just
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Botox for that is Botox technically considered a plastic surgery no I kinda I well our alteration you know there is
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pasta surgery that obviously helps people who are burn victims caught like meaning like aura cleft lips those
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things are wonderful advances in medical the medical world that have you know help people live a life or there
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whatever the case might be absolutely but I'm just I'm saying the vanity part of it to say oh I'm aging so now I'm
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gonna fix my face what you can't no one's ever fixed their face just grow older it's fine we all do we all do okay
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let's go on to number seven whenever we're in the middle of an argument and I've I've been in fights I don't know if
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you've ever been in a fight or an argument but I've been in one but never oh well that's amazing so we attend to
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dig up complex or elaborate facts to counter the opposing points that we're receiving from the person were arguing
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with but unfortunately that doesn't quite work as the aim of most human arguments isn't sharing knowledge or
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coming to an amiable conclusion but winning that's true so anytime you find yourself in a heated debate or an
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argument very rarely at least in my experience am I trying quote/unquote not to win you're trying to make yourself
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validated but keeping that in mind the next time you're stuck in a fairly simple argument with someone try
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simplifying your language instead of making a tougher studies suggests that speaking in an easily and none scible
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words and simple to understand sentences has a calming effect on the listener and could even be used to make them more
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receptive to what you're saying it has been proven to work in areas other than social situations - like
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politics which might explain no offense to our Trump supporters who listen to the show Donald Trump's rise because at
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least in part he's as simple straightforward manners of speaking which innately appeals to
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people no I can't imagine why they would take offense it's a tactic that he utilized that has worked very
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successfully yeah because he's seen as the billionaire common man because he doesn't speak
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Stephen Hawking not to knock this social hack or this scientific hack this
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scientific hack I believe has been proven to be successful in reality but
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you know my personal reaction to it I believe that if you're going to engage a
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method of speaking only in general terms only an easy-to-understand terms what
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you say will necessarily lack nuance it
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will lack proper detail or explanation and it will gloss over what needs to be
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glossed over in order to be most receptive to the most people it may
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ignore truth well I was just going to say this example is or this hack is
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designed for simple arguments with somebody so maybe not in a condo not a
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court of law where you have to show every angle of a situation to prove your point because you're also dealing with
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professionals like the law the lawyers and judges but also the jury has to hear arguments but at the same time keep a
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simple stupid that's the acronym that we use K is s the reason why we say that silly acronym is because simple does it
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mean not smart it just means again that you're using easily an unstable words and simple to
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understand sentences I like it but this is also for simple arguments not figuring out a crime scene or piecing
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together a scientific project with other like-minded thinking individuals right this is just levia work family
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situations and at the end of the day and this is just a Ryan hack this is just a
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non-scientific Ryan hack life hack is it important to quote unquote win the
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discussion I believe it's more important to be kind than to be right that's why I love you Ryan number six this one's a
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very interesting one and I've never attempted it but I I kind of do like it so number six is back to an actual
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physical thing that a person can do a physical thing that is very Tyl so for people that engage in
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discussions or interactions with other people that sometimes the quote is I
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don't know what to do with my hands and I believe that that was a Will Ferrell joke on SNL some years ago never sir I
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says you should use your non-dominant hand to control your anger contrary to
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what most people think emotions like rage aren't just limited to people that
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have short tempers so you say this guy is temperamental he's always flowing off no there are very very reasonable and
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long tempered people that can still experience moments when they are fiddled
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with ire or disdain or rage in these cases the suggestion based off a study
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done by a professor at the University of Wales says that switching the hand that
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you use while doing basic tasks can help you focus on doing those tasks and less
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on your rage so in this situation it would say clean the house with your
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non-dominant hand or try to type a letter or do different things with your
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computer like use your mouse with your left hand you will really focus on the actual task but you not only do not and
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you will have less of the emotional response that sort of been building up within you this one seemed outta left
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field I'm not entirely sure who would do this because there are so many things where I would get more frustrated
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because I'm trying to use my left hand or right where I'm trying to use my left hand to tie when I normally wouldn't I
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don't understand how that would lessen my anger I have a theory okay
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I don't know if your research came up with the theory why this might work I think you explained it in your question
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as to would this not increase my anger but that's the idea is you're doing
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something that which is mundane and you're using your non-dominant hand because then now you're controlling your
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emotion in the situation now you're focusing on the getting the task done without the emotion attached to
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so it would be frustrating it would be difficult but that's what you're overcoming if you can overcome doing
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something with a different hand that when you're coming across something else that may have irritated you or caught
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you know somebody you know left an empty milk carton in the fridge maybe you won't be as irritated now experiencing
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those things because you've learned to control your frustrations with menial tasks something I'll have to give it a
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shot and what you've sort of explained it is that it's all about focus and it's all about focus maybe in my
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interpretation what I think you're saying is an empty milk carton in the fridge isn't so bad once you've written
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a letter to your grandmother with your non-dominant hand now you know what suffering really yes that could be a
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part of ID maybe I didn't explain it very well but it's also just training yourself to not get bent out of shape
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with things that aren't that hard or difficult right me yeah so you're doing something difficult but then you're
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getting it done it like so when you come across that which might have irritated you were triggered you I hate that word but it just works something that might
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have triggered you Michael you know what you've actually trained your body to not chemically react to things that are that
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are not worthy of that kind of reaction you're training your fish to fry right yeah exactly bigger fish to fry okay
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number five I love this one well there's a couple I actually genuinely enjoyed this list because I really loved it I
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loved getting help well I love getting help with regarding social situations I'm a social animal I work in an
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environment where I do a lot of social interaction so anytime I can better myself at it even though I think I'm
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okay I love anything any tool that I can use and this one I really like so spoiler alert this would definitely not
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make make my worst of this list speaking again of heated arguments have you ever been in a heated argument that's gone on
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too long or you just want to get out of it yes absolutely at that point whenever yeah good job
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when you're at this point there are very few things that you you can really do you can either completely like blow up
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which just makes the situation worse or shut them up and walk away or but as it turns out there is something else you
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can try to is do them a favor so you're doing the person you argue with a favor
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to force yourself to like them this is called the Benjamin Franklin effect some
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of our listeners may have heard of this you know he was the first one to theorize that if someone is kind to you
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once he's he or she is much more likely to be kind to you in the future so that
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might sound a little baffling as our actions should be caused by our feelings and not the other way around so for
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example it sounds like the Golden Rule but basically how it works is Benjamin
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Franklin he had a hater in his time someone he considered quote a gentleman of fortunate education who could
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probably become influential in government so this is somebody that he worked closely with in government who
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was a good fortune in education he wanted this individual to be with
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Benjamin Franklin on his side the government because he wanted to use him as a tool but this guy didn't like
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Benjamin Franklin but Benjamin wanted him to like him so in order to recruit the hater to his side Franklin decided
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to ask the man if he could borrow one of the books from his library the man was flattered and lent the book
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Franklin returned the book one week later with a thank you note the next time that they saw each other the man
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who let the book was exceedingly friendly to Franklin and Franklin said the stayed friends until the man died so
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that's the Benjamin Franklin effect so I guess this how this works is and there's a couple other ones that kind of time to
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this I don't want to talk too too much is I guess be kind at the end of the day force yourself to like the individual or
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something to belt them and maybe it's a compliment it has to be genuine so what Benjamin Franklin did here was something
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that can I borrow that book and then you say hey a really fun read a really nice read and these people that you fight
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with are probably on your Facebook and what you could do a modern-day example this is you could look at their vacation
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photos and say boy it looks like you and your family had a fun time what a wonderful experience you guys had if you
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show some sort of interest in their life I bet you their feelings for you will change because I don't want to give away
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something that comes out in the future but people love to hear you love them that's undisputed I understand the
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explanation from the standpoint of the list that we're looking at about this Benjamin Franklin effect do a favor for
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a person that that may or may not you know have any reason to like you do a
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favor for them it's almost a pay it forward it's almost a golden rule
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I think there's a lot of very old-school moral tactics involved in there how to
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make friends and influence people kind of stuff great book by the way I've read that book and it's a one to go back to
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many times because I just I'm sure you see a lot of crossover between this list and what's in that book because these
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are just ways to ingratiate yourself with someone exactly yeah ways to make
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friends and if you don't want to call it friends well ways to make professional acquaintances that will work for you as
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this sort of mutually beneficial relationship going forward and sometimes these mutually beneficial relationships
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have no reason for existing other than the two people sort of unexplainably like each other you've got to get other
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people on your team it's very possible sometimes it just comes from someone
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that you didn't have any reason to think about or know for any reason did you a favor and now you know that person and you
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don't don't know anything else about them other than they did you a favor as a way to solve an argument I feel like
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that's where we get to a point where it's a little more transparent where it's a little more you've engaged in
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arguing with this person they sort of know you are know and where you stand you're now just sending them a gift
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basket or something right they're gonna say well he's trying to make amends I
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think a lot of people can sort of feel that way about it now does every time
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someone feels like you are transparently making amends does that always lead to
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them not accepting your apology no sometimes that's the way to get them to sort of accept the apology and you can
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move on Yeah right even if it is very clear what each party is doing don't be
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afraid of that situation be kind above all things be kind because
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people will know that you're a kind person people will always hold that as
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like a very important part of why they do business with you or why they transact with you those things are
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important so I find this to be a very very good entry on this list at number
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five I think it could be higher because it really is just how to make yourself friendly with others yeah I
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don't think this list was created in any order of importance most of our lists are not yeah it's just the fifth one that we're reading that's
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all but go ahead with number four though here's another one that I believe has been employed in the political arena
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just as often as the social arena and this is what they call social proof now
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the example of social proof is very obvious if you're walking through a mall and you see a food court they've got
25:32
different restaurants than they're usually all sort of catered to a certain
25:38
ethnicity but occasionally you'll just walk into this food court and there's two places serving fried chicken I don't
25:44
know Ryan how do you like your fried chicken well it's got to be a cooked assertive weight if you don't agree with
25:50
the way that I cook that fried chicken you could expect a knife in your chest you seemed like that kind of guy you
25:55
seem a very specific about your faction some people aren't so specific about their fried chicken they'll see two
26:01
fried chicken places and they'll say well both these places probably make just fine fried chicken but I'm gonna go
26:08
to the place that has more people in that line I know exactly what this is and I've literally have done this in a
26:14
food court I'm looking around and I'm not in the mood for Burger King or McDonald's I those are the staples I get what they taste like I want to try
26:21
something that's not a countrywide fast change so I'm looking at the other little Mob pawn shops and yeah I find
26:27
myself like oh that kiosk is empty that one has seven people in line and I might
26:34
be more willing to stand in line for the proven vendor and then it but then I feel bad because I have a nice versatile
26:40
empathy and I feel sad for the people that don't have anyone and sometimes all end up going to the one that has no lineup just because I feel terrible
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for their babies I can see that too there's what's going on here though is
26:51
the concept of social proof the concept where they say if there's a lot of people go into a certain restaurant
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well the pre-fitted is a good restaurant is the fact that there are a lot of people there the sort of ends justify
27:05
the means is the circular logic right and so that's what they call social proof if you can frame what your stay
27:13
and the context that you're not saying it but you've heard it from a lot of
27:23
people or some people which is you know should echo the sentiments of what we
27:29
hear in American politics these days if you can do that if you can frame what you're saying in the sense of well you
27:36
just got it from other people that you trust other authoritative sources then what you're saying will be more well
27:44
received and that is what's called social proof like it I've actually you've never heard the term but I
27:49
understand and like the concept yeah number three no this one is what I kind
27:54
of chuckle that because I have a joke that I say about myself I'm I always jokingly self deflate myself sometimes
28:01
too I started to get uncomfortable with positive praise isn't that weird when people do praise me and say hey Ryan
28:08
good job or something I'm usually okay that's great thank you thank you I don't like fanfare about myself
28:14
however I do want to leave a good impression with people but I have a joke of that way say about myself that I'm
28:20
really great at first impressions but terrible at lasting ones so that's my joke it's a little joke I say a little
28:26
self-deprecating humor I never really heard anyone other than me thank you
28:33
thank you so but as a society we give a lot of importance to first impressions whether it's a first date of course or
28:39
an interview of course we just talked about earlier we make sure to put our best foot forward speaking of feet well
28:45
we walk into the room it makes sense to as conventional wisdom suggests that the first impressions can make or break a
28:51
meeting but growing research is finding out though first impressions are hardly
28:56
impactful enough to make a difference or even in our control if you really want someone to remember first meeting with
29:02
you like the whole meeting you need to focus on your last impression instead more importantly people tend to remember
29:08
what you leave them with over what you did when you first came into the room especially when it comes to a permanent
29:13
long-term impression so that's my joke right I make a great first impression but a terrible lasting one so that being
29:20
said I really like this one though because that really is important because what somebody can walk into the room they look great they look fantastic
29:25
they're ready to go then the meeting goes on or the date goes well we could use a date for example a man or a female I'm sorry a
29:33
male or female could look very pretty handsome you think of yourself as the date tee you're like oh wow this is boy
29:39
he or she is gonna be wonderful but they turn out to be a terrible conversationalist or they're too into
29:44
themselves or they've maybe they're racists or misogynistic you're like okay well that first impression though great
29:50
has now waned into I can't wait til the state is over it almost makes sense that a long term oppression this is how did
29:56
the date end how did the interview end more than how did it start and I don't know why we've always said first
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impression it should be the last impression how did we leave this situation so that makes more sense to me
30:07
anyways you know I think first impressions are all tied up in a lot of the snap judgments that people tend to
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make and I think that that's maybe why we've gotten so wound up and saying that
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a first impression is so important it usually winds up in the context of either a date or a job interview which
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are very analogous situations if you look at them that way yeah they would
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say that certain times a date will judge their date within the first 15 seconds
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how they will feel about them that's what tinder basically is is a micro second impression that you have it was
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someone's picture it's not even an honest picture of somebody to begin with I guarantee and you're making decision
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to yourself do I want to see this person in public I think tinder sort of lends itself to almost like micro snap
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judgments yeah because you can have your snap judgment based off the picture that they may have chose to put there but
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then your brain says okay I've been through enough of these that says that picture may not match up to how they are
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in real life so then you have another snap judgment once you see what they really are so you've sort of made your decision to see
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them and then you make your decision to continue to do whatever it is you're going to do with them after you see the
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actuality I think that's just sort of where we've come with online presences everybody's got an avatar even if that
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avatar is themselves five years ago when they were in better shape that's similar but getting back to the
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point of first impressions I think that you make a decision whether you really sort of still want to be in the room with that person within very quick
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amount of time but for something like job interviews where maybe you know
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something about them and you really are evaluating them I think that the closing is very important that's why they call
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it closing close yeah you actually get to the final goal is to say that you
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have performed well enough you're shaking hands at the end you don't do any awkward little dance you don't give
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them any reason you know as you're walking out of the interview you don't have toilet paper on your shoe whatever
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there might be to spoil what was a really good 30 or 45 minutes does that
32:24
make sense it does and I agree so the difference between person and last impressions I think first impressions
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are whether you still want to be in the room with that person for any amount of time last impressions are whether you
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want to like to engage in an ongoing relationship good I like it number two
32:41
you guys will learn so much from number to scientific ACK cure all your social
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situations chew gum that's what I got for you Ryan that's all I got whatever but what is a chewing gum show us is
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that when people are nervous and a lot of these social hacks are dealing with ways to ease your nerves as everyone
33:00
knows in 2020 we're a very anxious Society there are a lot of reasons for
33:05
people to be nervous in different situations and whether or not you laugh it triggered or safeSpace or social
33:14
battery or whatever you might hear in colloquy today there is a lot of concern
33:20
about how people feel in social situations so for one nervous people you
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know may have a tendency to grit their teeth or to want to have a certain oral
33:33
fixation that may calm their nerves one of those cures is chewing gum for many
33:41
people being nervous can be debilitating and can hamper their productivity and they have
33:47
found through some sort of research that if they chew gum through the day while they're trying to accomplish productive
33:55
tasks or just sort of maintain themselves through the work day it can lower anxiety and it can improve their
34:02
mood and it can help fight feelings of depression just from chewing gum throughout the day I have had a problem
34:09
the past with gritting my teeth trying to focus and doing that and I've been told by dentists that it's not healthy
34:16
there's a lot of ways so you can try and get around that it's an emotional thing that is manifested physically chewing
34:22
gum is one of our solutions as a social hack on our list it can help you fight
34:27
depression and unfortunately my job I'm not allowed to chew gum on the job tell me about the rash and now for that
34:35
you're asking for a military rationale for the rules I have to talk about
34:40
Florida all day every day you give me some Canada try and give it to me now well I can't speak for the US military
34:46
or other militaries I just know in Canada but yeah why we can't chew gum it's the same reason we're not we're not
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a lot of put our hands in our pockets I'm sorry you just open a cans of wine
34:59
I'm here right hands and pockets you can't have your hands of pockets you can't chew gum I would say that the old
35:05
guard would argue with me and say well it looks unprofessional oh there there yeah exactly there might be some old
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tradition old rules as to that but chewing gum and your hands your pocket you cannot do because it might look
35:17
unprofessional even though science is proven that chewing gum could actually reduce stress and depression which is an
35:24
issue that all militaries have I believe what their members depression and stress so maybe they should reinvestigate this
35:29
issue with science there you go are there any other things that you are allowed so you're allowed to smoke
35:36
obviously in the appropriate areas to smoke but I would argue wouldn't it be better to have your members chew gum
35:42
what about the chewing tobacco I don't do these things but I think you can shoot tobacco in the areas that you can
35:48
smoke but only in those areas of course you can't chew tobacco throughout the building or anything you know I'm looking at you you've got a nice jaw and
35:55
some teeth there know that you don't see you the Tibet no I have a friend that does and I find the
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the habit absolutely disgusting that's just my opinion I live in Florida what do you think I deal with no all right
36:07
number one you ready yeah I'm so ready okay this one kind of ties it with number five that I read out earlier the
36:14
Ben Franklin effect now some people tell you that the fake it till you make it approach is how you should be to make it
36:20
look like you know what you're doing all the time yeah I hear all the time at work we especially when I'm in a new position at a job or a new promotion or something so
36:27
fake it so you make it and I kind of get what people are saying like maybe oldest StumbleUpon what you need to know when
36:32
you just pretend you know but a researcher at Harvard and you might have heard of the school found out that asking for help it may actually make you
36:39
appear smarter for multiple reasons for one admitting that you don't know
36:44
something comes across as a sign of wisdom as gathering more information to fill gaps in your knowledge is an
36:50
inherently smart thing to do more importantly asking for help makes the other person feel important and
36:57
intelligent in turn improving his or her own opinion of you now I've seen this at work and I won't say any individuals and
37:03
I won't even say if it's my current position or not just in case someone from my job is listening but but that's
37:08
what I mean it may not have anything to do with today that this could've been a five year ago example but I I've worked with somebody who thought they were
37:16
pretty smart right and I recognize that they thought that way about themselves I don't think they are and I don't think
37:25
my opinion is wrong but they thought that they were pretty smart however I was new at the job and I didn't have all
37:32
the answers and so I still went to this person to fill in my gaps of knowledge that I needed to know so I went to him
37:40
and I told them like you are my mentor you are helping me and this guy just worshipped the ground I worked on that
37:45
is a phenomenal story and I completely I'm very familiar with the same thing it
37:52
nice enough person don't get me wrong but he just truly felt that he just knows everything and I'd the more that I
37:58
learned at the job I realized that he didn't know everything in fact he actually got a lot of things wrong but
38:03
because I went to him for help and I thanked him for his help and I would say hey hey person I could
38:10
some information here that I don't have a legit I was never lying to them I legitimate didn't have some information
38:15
and he would give it to me then in turn his opinion of me was like all you you're gonna be great here
38:21
you're gonna be whether or not they ever came true well of my position he felt that I was
38:26
great because I asked him for help it wasn't a sign of weakness to this individual so this example is a definite
38:34
correlation to what Harvard has come to figure out that asking for help not being useless you know use that
38:40
information and working and being a hard worker yes but the same time if you don't know ask I feel like every place
38:46
I've ever been I have been commended on the onset for being inquisitive it's
38:54
always a sign of intelligence I don't believe in there are no stupid questions
39:00
there are stupid questions when you have not investigated sort of what your
39:08
question is about enough sure to explain it to the person that you're asking if you have not gathered enough information
39:14
about the situation that you're asking a person and then you cannot answer their follow-up just and do that sort of thing
39:20
so you try to be as prepared as you can but when you ask well-prepared questions when you show that you understand a
39:29
significant amount of the substance you just need a gap filled in when you can
39:34
speak to people intelligently about these things they love to speak back to you what is the origins of mansplaining what
39:43
is the reason why people that are sort of very high up in positions really
39:48
enjoy explaining what it is they do or what their industry is about or it's
39:54
just pouring this out they will do it on in to the point that you are annoyed as heck it's always been a benefit to me in
40:01
a new position to ask be inquisitive and ask questions to your superiors and
40:06
ingratiates them to you it makes them know that you are seeking to understand what you're doing both your role and
40:14
within the company that is the best thing you can see in on board I believe good all right you
40:22
gonna give us the recap oh I'm not as good as you at it but I'll try here I'll keep it simple I'll keep it I'll keep it simple stupid
40:28
all right so feet don't lie so look at people's feet don't just look at their
40:34
eyes and I would say this is just overall body language but look at their feet see how they're looking make sure
40:39
your hands are warm and a handshake no cold and clammy folks no cold and clammy fill your face with Botox because if
40:47
your face can't show the emotion you might end up lacking that emotion in an argument we could said this keep it
40:52
simple be like Trump be simple when you're angry or to help limit future
40:59
angry situations try doing tasks throughout the day with your lesson dominant hand to help control your anger
41:05
in future situations the Benjamin Franklin effect that just means being kind to somebody force yourself to be
41:11
kind to them when you don't want to be and you'll see that they will be kind back to you the social proof this is a
41:18
marketing strategy social proof is where your arguments are more convincing if you make it seem like you didn't come up
41:24
with the idea that's right that's a tricky one though very valuable one last impression
41:29
of course this is where it's not so important with just the first impression but the overall impression but more
41:34
importantly leave on a high note like George Costanza on Seinfeld for my Seinfeld listeners leave on a high note
41:41
chewing gum number two chew gum to help relax and nerves help you feel less
41:47
depressed get your mind off stressful situations throughout the day and lastly ask for help when in doubt
41:54
ask for help it's not a sign of weakness in fact is showing the individual even if they don't know it but it shows other
42:01
humans that you are filling your wisdom gaps to even be more wise what what do
42:07
you think is the worst to you or maybe one that you would just never do for a
42:13
life hack I didn't have a lot of trouble with the concept or the idea of
42:19
inserting your face with Botox in order to control your emotions I know that
42:26
much of an eye the problem with that I didn't have that much of a problem with dealing with staring at people's
42:32
feet here's my issue I will never resort to using my stupid little left hand for
42:40
anything ever it'll not happen and catch a ball there I can catch a ball with it
42:46
that's the only thing am i I will never resort to number six using your non-dominant hand to control your anger
42:53
to me anything that I do with my non-dominant hand is so angering it
42:59
would exacerbate the situation beyond repair that is crazy I thought we'd be in sync on this one I
43:05
really did I can't believe you would rather put Botox your face well I
43:10
believe in the dualism argument that is presented within our list I never
43:16
thought that I would look at one of these lists that you present to me and I would say this jives with what Rene
43:22
Descartes said about the dualism of the mind in the body but this is what this
43:27
is what I found in that light okay that's fine that's your pick I cannot but torture of using your left hand for
43:34
any gosh darn thing no sir okay well I gave mine away I just Botox
43:39
you're not putting anything in my face and a story I will gladly show my emotions I will not make it a mystery
43:46
you can read me like an open book and get that needle get that drug out of my face is it the needle thing no I don't
43:53
enjoy needles I don't look forward to them but no it's the chemical my face I and the fact I don't want to look like
43:59
I'm that's stung by bee yeah Botox for me that is the of the ten that is the
44:05
one that I will not hack that is a life hack that I would never enter to if I had to do nine on this list I had to do
44:12
nine I would never entertain Botox I think you could do nine on this list pretty
44:18
much for free couldn't you even if money wasn't an issue even if we ran I mean the Botox is the one that is just throw
44:25
some money at this issue and that's your that's your science at right that's funny well I hope our listeners maybe or
44:31
truly do I truly hope that our listeners maybe learn something today that they can use actually this might be one of the first episodes we've ever done where
44:38
people can actually use some of the stuff and in their life so if we made someone's life better in the future
44:44
because of this episode that it actually makes me pretty happy all right remember in front of every silver lining
44:50
there's a cloud and we're here to help you find it thanks drew thanks for coming on what are you gonna let me do
44:57
the out trail do you undo it yeah yeah okay okay you go in front of every silver lining there is a cloud this has
45:04
been the worst of the best podcast beautiful well done could have said it better myself you did it I messed up
45:12
just as much as you would have had no no my mess ups are edited out
45:17
[Music]
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you