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Bible preaching from the pulpit of Choice Hills Baptist Church in Greenville, South Carolina
Let's get our Bible and turn to the book of Proverbs.
Book of Proverbs.
The Lord will help us.
We have a practical message tonight along the lines of our study in the August Family Focus as all of our studies, all of our messages have
been dealing with the subject of the family. And so tonight, I'm going to go in a very practical
direction because I know that among us, there are many among us, not all of us, but there
are many among us that are currently in the throes of dealing with
this particular thing or shortly probably will be in the throes or not quite finished being in the
throes of this particular issue. And I want to talk about, so I want to talk about tonight child
training, child training. So I have several, I have several points I want to give you.
And of course, we'll look at the scripture as well, but maybe these you can write down
and then hopefully connect them specifically with the scriptures that we will be looking at tonight.
So let's pray to begin. And then we will start in Proverbs chapter one.
Our Father in heaven, we thank you for the opportunity to once again meet together,
to pray together, to praise together, to encourage one another, to see one another's face and
exhort and provoke one another to love and to good works. And I pray, Lord, as we look at your
word tonight, you know who needs this, who might need it in the future. And these truths, Lord,
that have been so helpful in our
family and have helped many, many people throughout the years and generations to bring up families and
children who are cognizant of the fear of God. And so, Lord, give us understanding and wisdom
as we look at these things now. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen. Now, I'm just going to dive right in. No fancy
introduction or anything like that. What I primarily want to talk about when I talk about
child training, child training is not entirely correction. That is a misunderstanding. Sometimes
I think that child training is thought of only in terms of correction, and that's certainly not the case.
In fact, I would say, especially if you do it right, that correction is something that is not even the majority of what you do.
It is a thing that you do and you have to do from time to time. And what we found in our family is that the corrective part of child
training is something that it begins very frequently, but over time it kind of tapers off
more and more, especially if you get started right, because, and that's exactly what the Bible says on
it. And so I just want to give you some practical tips on child training, especially as it relates to correction, as it relates to correction.
Okay, so I'm going to just give these to you. You can write them down if you wish. We are going to
look at several passages of Scripture associated with these. The first one I want to share with you
is this. And when we read, just as a footnote, when we read the word correction, especially in the book of Proverbs,
it's not only talking about corporal correction, but it is inclusive of corporal correction. Many
times it is directly talking about that. But correction can also be verbal. But most of the
verses we're going to look at deal also with the corporal punishment, corporal correction.
going to look at deal also with the corporal punishment, corporal correction. And so that's what our focus is going to be on. The first thing I want you to see, number one is this,
corporal correction is no substitute for teaching your children. It is no substitute for teaching
your children. Look at the book of Proverbs chapter one, and we're just going to fly through these verses really fast. Just note that when you're talking about training children and
teaching children, correction and discipline are not the same as teaching. Correction and discipline
are not the same as teaching. There is a, in churches, maybe you could say churches similar to ours,
there's this, I don't know, this sort of macho kind of view of training children
that is very kind of harsh, and it frames training your children
only in terms of, you know, corporal punishment.
And, of course, the verses that deal with the rod and correction are often cited to prove this.
But this is not, actually, this is not even close to even the majority of what Proverbs says on the subject of raising your children. It's part of it,
but it's not even the majority. It's not even close to that. It might be 10%, 15% of everything
that Proverbs says on the subject of raising our children. We have to remember that no amount of correction or discipline can take the place of or substitute teaching. No amount of
correction can fix it. If the teaching part, which is really the bread and butter of raising our
children, is absolutely necessary to bringing our kids up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Proverbs chapter 1, if you look at
throughout Proverbs, we'll look at the first seven chapters in particular. The whole book of Proverbs,
especially the first seven chapters, is actually whole book of Proverbs itself stands as a lesson, as an example of
instruction from a father to his son. That's how important instruction is and teaching is to our
children. Proverbs 1 verse number 8 says this, and again, we're going to go through these quickly. He says,
my son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother.
Verse 10, he says, my son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not. Verse 15, he says, my son,
walk not thou in the way with them, refrain thy foot from their path. Chapter
two, verse number one, again, my son, if thou would receive my words and hide my commandments with
thee. Chapter three, verse number one, my son, forget not my law, but let thine heart keep my Verse 11, chapter 3.
Verse 21.
Chapter 4, verse 1. my son, let not them depart from thine eyes. Keep sound wisdom and discretion.
Chapter four, verse one.
Hear ye children the instruction of a father
and attend to no understanding.
For I give you good doctrine and forsake ye not my law.
For I was my father's son, tender and only beloved
in the sight of my mother.
He taught me also and said unto me,
let thine heart keep my words. Isn't this beautiful?
This is a father speaking to his son about his grandfather.
Right?
That's what we're talking about here.
He said,
Let thine heart retain my words, keep my commandments and live, get wisdom and get understanding.
Forget it not, neither decline from the words of my mouth.
Let me say something about the generation, our generation, the generation of my age.
I'm a millennial. I'm on the edge of the millennial bracket.
And the generations that have come after me, my mother was not shy about corporal punishment.
That was not a thing. That was even a discussion in her
generation. In my generation, however, it has been a discussion, right? And then the generations that
are now like the generations of Andrew and Joanna, and those of you that have younger children are
going to have children in the near future, your generation has been faced
with a lot more criticism about the idea of corporal punishment. But you go back just two or
three generations, it was not a discussion. It was universal. It was universal. But the ingredient
that was often missing was instruction. In other words, there was no shyness about applying the rod when they
felt it necessary, but it was not matched, certainly not overdone by instruction. But
actually in Proverbs, what you see, mom and dad, is you see the principle of instruction as primary,
not secondary.
It's primary.
That's why you see it over and over and over.
The writer of Proverbs says,
listen to my instruction.
I'm teaching you.
Look at chapter four, verse 10.
Just go through a few more of these.
Hear my son and receive my sayings,
and the years of thy life shall be many.
Verse 20.
My son, attend to my words, incline thine ear to my sayings.
Chapter five, verse one.
Again, my son, attend unto my wisdom,
and bow thine ear to my understanding.
Verse seven.
Hear me therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth. Verse 7. I already just read that one. I apologize.
Chapter 6, verse number 1.
Go to chapter 6, verse 20. My son, if thou be surety for thy friend, if thou hast stricken thy hand with a stranger.
Go to chapter 6, verse 20.
Says this,
My son, keep thy father's commandment and forsake not the law of thy mother.
Chapter 7, verse 1.
My son, keep my words and lay up my commandments with thee.
Keep my commandments and live in my law as the apple of thine eye. Lastly, verse number 24, hearken unto me now,
therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth. We've went through seven chapters of
Proverbs and read the number of times that the writer of Proverbs as a father is directly addressing his
son. And what is he doing the whole time? He's teaching him. He's teaching him. He's not just
whipping him. He's teaching him. He's first and foremost teaching him. Note the topics that are
covered in this, in these first seven chapters of Proverbs. Listen to
these. You want to know, like John Paul, you want to know what you need to talk to Nathaniel about as
he gets older? You guys want to know what the content of this teaching is? This is, obviously
it's about the Lord first and foremost, but it is not only and exclusively about the Lord.
All of these topics the father in Proverbs teaches his son.
Listen to these.
He teaches him about wisdom.
He teaches him about peer pressure.
He instructs him concerning strange women,
about lust.
He teaches him concerning trusting in God,
chastening of the Lord.
He teaches him about how to have ethics
when you're a boss.
He teaches him how to interact with
his neighbors. He teaches him about what the characteristics of wicked men is. He teaches him
about marriage. He teaches him about a sexual relationship with his spouse. He teaches him
about foolish words. He teaches him to have a work ethic. He teaches them patterns that mankind exhibit.
He teaches them about adultery.
He teaches them about drinking.
And we could go on and on, loans and interest and just on and on and on.
What's the primary takeaway from this?
This is a broad range of topics that mom and dad are supposed to be teaching their children. It covers
everything. You know what? For our children, mom and dad should be the primary source of information.
Mom and dad should be the primary source of information. Do you know why that's
often not the case? Because mom and dad have not maintained a good relationship with their parents.
There's not a relationship of trust where the children instinctively go to the parents.
There might be a lot of reasons for that, some of which we'll
cover maybe on Sunday, this Sunday or next Sunday. But mom and dad should be the primary source of
information because this is our job to teach our children, right? We are their first and foremost
instructor. But in order to do that, we cannot neglect the relationship. We have to maintain that relationship. And really,
that's kind of the hard part. That's really the hard part. Notice Proverbs 29, 15. If you want
to note these verses, you're of course welcome to, but I'll just continue because I want to get to
some other things. Notice the words of Proverbs 29, 15. The rod, that's corporal correction, the rod and
reproof give wisdom. See that? The rod and reproof. The rod by itself is not enough. There must also be
the accompanying instruction. But a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Proverbs 22, 6, you know this verse?
Train up a child in the way he should go.
And when he is old, he will not depart from it.
To train, to teach.
You know, as a mom and a dad, you have the duty,
and the responsibility, but you also have the privilege of teaching your children however
you see fit. And that might be different than another family would teach their children,
right? But you're their parent. God has given you that power to give them the priorities that you
feel that are important. Of course, we know within
scriptural boundaries, obviously, but even beyond that, you can teach your kids the values that you
find important for your life. You train them up in the way that they should go. That's your
opportunity and privilege as a parent. Second, number two, a father's correction is to be patterned
A father's correction is to be patterned after the correction of the Lord.
Proverbs chapter 3.
A father's correction is to be patterned after the correction of the Lord.
Proverbs 3 verse 11 says this.
My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord.
Now, listen, I know what happens here.
I know what happens here.
What happens is we take these words that chastening, chastisement, correction, rod,
and what we do, sometimes people have been known to do,
is we make them figurative.
So chastening is not actually referring to chasing.
The word chasten is a very clear word.
It's not talking about our words.
It's talking about the application of corporal correction, right?
That's what the word means.
But people have kind of fudged the meaning and kind of made it this kind of figurative word to refer to kind of, you know,
don't do this, Johnny, or do that, Johnny, that kind of thing.
But it's more than that. That's why you see it appearing with the word rod, right? This is not
figurative language. This is literal language. But notice, if we have a problem with the idea of
applying corporal punishment, our first problem is with God himself himself because he employs it.
He employs it.
It says, my son despise not the chastening of the Lord, neither be weary of his correction.
For whom the Lord loveth, he correcteth, even as a father, the son in whom he delighteth.
So our example, mom, dad, our example in correcting our children and applying,
even applying corporal correction, but not just corporal correction,
any kind of correction to our kids, our primary example is God himself.
How does God do it?
And if you follow that example, you will rarely go wrong. You will rarely go wrong.
But if we just keep this in mind, if for no other reason beside this one, we must be very careful that we correct our children rightly. Why? Because we are setting,
remember verse 11 and 12, we are setting the precedent,
we are setting the precedent of how God corrects us
when we go astray from him, when we err.
In other words, our children are seeing the example we're setting,
and that's going to be the way that they understand
the way God operates with his children.
But it also sets the precedent to our children how we should respond to God's correction.
So as fathers and mothers, we have to be careful that we do it consistently with God's pattern
and not take it up on our own and say,
well, I'm just going to do whatever I want to do.
No, God has set a pattern and his pattern is the pattern for correction because we are shaping our children's understanding
of our heavenly father's activity in our life.
And so if we misuse correction, if we misuse corporal correction with our children,
and we don't do it after God's pattern,
it will definitely negatively affect our child's relationship with God down the road.
It will.
Because that is the pattern. And we know this,
the kind of parent that we have is often the way that is set in our minds as children,
as the pattern and the lens through which we see the Lord. And sometimes that example is very bad.
And I know some people have had very bad parents,
but by the grace of God have been able to see past that
to see that the Lord is not as their parents.
But naturally, that's what kids naturally think.
They see their parents in that way.
That's not a bad thing because God, after all,
is not God called our heavenly father, right?
He is called that. In other words, he calls himself by the name of a known human relationship.
So do we want our children to think of God as an angry tyrant because we misuse corporal correction to our children?
Of course not.
We want our kids to see the Lord in us
and to see a correct view of Him.
Number three, correction is an act of faith for the parents.
Correction is an act of faith for the parents.
Listen to these verses. Proverbs 23,
verse 13. Withhold not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with the rod,
I know that we might cringe when we hear that word. Thou beatest him. Don't cringe.
If thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 29, 17. Correct thy son and he shall give thee rest.
Yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. What do you see in those two verses? You see the Lord
says, do this and attach to the exhortation, attach to the command regarding our children, he says, there's a promise.
There's an effect in the future that hasn't yet materialized.
When you have little kids like the age of Nathaniel
or like the age of Thomas,
and they get a little bit older right now,
they're kind of getting into the age where they're more fussy
and they're learning how to exert their will, right? But as they get older
and you have to deal with the misbehavior that comes from the foolishness that's bound in the
heart of a child, it gets hard to see out into the future a few years or a decade or two and to see
good fruit. So you know what that is? That's faith. You're taking what God
says and you're saying, Lord, I'm going to do what you said because you have said, if I do,
this will be the result, even though I can't see that right now. You know what that is? That's faith.
I believe that this is going to bear the good fruit that God has said in Proverbs. And so I'm going to
do it now, looking to what comes in the future. So correcting our children, although it is not
pleasant, it should not be pleasant. It is not pleasant to correct your children, but we do it
by faith, just like everything else in God's word. We believe it. We believe it.
All right, that's number three.
Number four.
Number four, correction must be done out of a motive of love.
Now, we've already seen this in Proverbs 3, verse 12.
For whom the Lord loveth, he correcteth.
So the mark of God's love, there's two marks of God's love.
As an unbeliever, as a person who does not know God,
as someone who's lost in sin, the mark of God's love is what?
Come on now, help me.
What's that?
No, as an unbeliever.
No, the cross, right? The cross. God commended his love toward us
while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. And that still applies to us as a believer.
But now we've entered into a new relationship to God as a father and a child, right? What is the
mark of God's love to us according to the scripture? One of probably
the marks of God's love to us, you know what it is? It's correction. The fact that God's correct,
corrects us, demonstrates his love to us. Now that might be hard for us to understand.
It shouldn't be, especially if you're a parent and you've had that experience, but that's a fact.
especially if you're a parent and you've had that experience, but that's a fact. That's why correction from God to a believer is one of the most comforting things a believer can have
because it reassures the believer that God is near them and with them and involved with them.
And he is not going to let them harm themselves. He's going to stand in the gap.
is not going to let them harm themselves.
He's going to stand in the gap.
This is the pattern God has set for us in his correction.
God corrects us out of a motive of love. And so just that alone, remember, the pattern is God.
Just that by itself, you know what that should do?
That should exclude any kind of correction out of anger.
Right?
Because it's not consistent with God's correction.
Listen to these.
Listen to these verses concerning anger.
Proverbs 27, 4.
Wrath is cruel and anger is outrageous.
But who is able to stand before envy? You know what happens when you
apply corporal correction to your children when you're angry? You're cruel.
That's what this says. You're cruel. In other words, it's without restraint, due restraint.
You'll exceed what you should do and you should never be cruel with your kids.
James 1 20, for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. It is not possible to correct
our children in anger and also bring forth good fruit in them because the wrath of man never produces good fruit.
Galatians 5, 19 and 20.
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these.
Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath. Here's the thing. If you or I are disciplining our children in anger,
we are not walking in the spirit. We are walking in the flesh and there can be no good that comes
out of that. But you say, well, I'm angry. What my child did when they broke the valuable thing
or they destroyed some important thing in our house
or ripped our wallpaper off our,
listen, I've got all the t-shirts
that can be had on this.
The house, the walls in Cambodia
were plastered over with simong saw,
which is what white, they called it white cement.
So it's just, I don't know what you call it.
It's like, you know, they smooth out the walls,
the concrete walls, the brick walls there. So it's smooth. You know what happens when you take a screwdriver and you stick
it in the wall and drag it down? You then have a permanent mark in the actual structure of your
house. It's great. You guys never did that, did you? You never did anything like that.
You guys never did that, did you?
You never did anything like that.
That kind of thing can make you angry.
But just because you have cause to be angry does not mean that we have cause
to walk according to the flesh.
Because remember,
if you are angry when you discipline your children,
two things are true.
Number one, your discipline will be ineffective and sometimes even
harmful to your child because anger cannot bear good fruit. It's of the flesh. It cannot bear good
fruit. And the other thing that will be true is that you're demonstrating that your discipline
of your child is more about you than it is about them.
Discipline of your child is more about you than it is about them.
Because you're misusing a biblical principle as a pretext to provide a vent for your anger.
And you know what that is?
That is fleshly and carnal.
That's not godly.
And it's not according to the spirit of God at all. Really? Well, let me
say this before I move on. You know, you all know about parents and especially corporal correction
have, has often been characterized or caricatured as this kind of flash, anger, this kind of lashing out
at a child because the child has done something he or she shouldn't do.
But when we lash out at our children, we should never say that we're applying biblical discipline
because we're not. That is not what the Bible
describes. The Bible does not describe venting one's anger at our children by striking our child.
In fact, you know, the chief, you know, kind of the chief quip to argue against the idea of
corporal correction is always, if you teach your child to hit,
if you hit your child, you teach your child to hit. You know what? That's true.
If you're hitting your child out of anger, because what do people do? You don't have to
look very far on social media to see all kinds of videos of numbskulls who are videoing other people
doing that very thing. They get angry, they lose their
temper, and then they strike another person. If you do that, you're teaching your child to do that.
And so that is a valid point. And you actually provide the fodder for people that say that
corporate correction doesn't work. But that's just not true when it's done
according to scripture. And that's not. On the other hand, love for your child always has your
child's best interest at heart. It's about him. It's about her and his or her benefit, not about me and what's best or easiest for me.
Love means that at times we must do things for the benefit of our child that are difficult for us,
such as properly applying corporal correction.
Would you, if your child fell down and broke his arm or dislocated his elbow would you say well
I'm not going to take you to the hospital because you know I feel bad for you and I know it's going
to hurt when you go to the hospital and they have to set your arm would anybody do that would anybody
do that I remember having to hold was it I think it was Joshua when he was a baby had to have the
Billy Rubin test but they never could get it
right. You know, they had to do it over and over and over. Having to hold, it might have been
another baby, but holding a newborn baby, and they take this needle, it was about that thick
and about that long, and they stuck it into my baby's body while the baby was sleeping to get the blood out. I did not like that.
I did not like that. And I think it was Joshua, he was sleeping. And even though he was sleeping,
the pain from that, I mean, he literally like winced asleep. And normally with a shot or
something like that, you know, a baby will sleep through it.
But he like, you know, that was hard to do. But what do we do? Do we say, well, you know, it's hard.
So, you know, it makes me feel bad and I feel pity for my child. So I'm not going to do that.
We're not going to take the test. We're not going to set the elbow that's dislocated. No,
we don't do that. You know what we do? Love overrides that. And that's the way it is
with corporal correction. You see, the pity that leads one to not correct his child is not actually
love. It is actually self-interest and self-centeredness. But it's just veiled in the word pity. Proverbs 19, 18 says this,
chasten thy son while there is hope and let not thy soul spare for his crying. That doesn't
necessarily mean, well, you're whipping him and you don't need to let up when he cries. No, no,
no, no, no. You know what kids do? They get in trouble. What's the first thing they do?
They get, they know they're in trouble. What are you you doing why are you doing that why are you scraping
my wall with a screwdriver and what do they do they start crying they start crying because they
know what's coming they know what's coming you say oh well he's crying she's crying. The Lord says, don't spare for that.
See, that's not love.
You see, love puts our child before our own comfort and self-interest for their benefit.
Remember, even that verse itself is a grandfather telling his son to correct his grandson.
Chasten thy son while there is hope.
This is dad telling son about his son, right?
All right, number next.
What is it?
Four, five, we're on five, right?
Anybody know?
Five.
Correct, correction that is not grievous is not being done right.
Correction that is not grievous is not being done right. Correction that is not grievous is not being done right.
Hebrews 12, 11.
Now, no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous.
Nevertheless, afterward, it yielded the peaceable fruit of righteousness to them which are exercised thereby.
Afterward, it yielded the peaceable fruit of righteousness to them which are exercised thereby.
You know, there's these ideas passing around about how to correct bad behavior in children.
Things such as distraction, distracting kids with something that they want.
There's something called active ignoring misbehavior.
Your child's acting up and you act like they're not there.
Of course, we know, you know, timeout, that kind of thing.
Another one is giving positive rewards for good behavior,
but that doesn't really address the issue of bad behavior, which is sort of like bribery.
But in scripture, correction is intended to be unpleasant and painful.
So when we go as parents and we go to apply corporal correction to our children,
it's not supposed to be easy or fun or happy.
It's supposed to be grievous. That's why it
works. That's why it works. And I've seen parents, and you've seen it too, if they try to give their
child a spanking, and maybe they're even trying to do it right. A lot of times, the lady is the
ones that have trouble with this, and the child is literally laughing at his parent. You're not doing something right. You're not doing something right. It's supposed to be grievous because in
many ways, this kind of corporate correction mimics the real and unavoidable pain that we feel as adults when we do stupid. That's what it's supposed to prepare
you for. It's supposed to make you see when you do stupid, it hurts, right? That's the whole point of it.
So if we make the correct, what is supposed to be a correction, we make it painless.
That's the same as misrepresenting to
our kids the real effect of their bad behavior in the world. Because when they get older,
and they act stupid, and they get drunk, and they run over somebody, and they get put in the clink
for 15 years, that hurts. That is very grievous. That's what we're trying to avoid
by helping them to see that foolishness
is really grievous now, right?
All right, number six.
When applying corporal correction,
use a rod, not your hand.
In the book of Proverbs,
there are five times that a rod is mentioned
as the method of correction.
You know why? Because a rod is deliberative. It goes back to the idea of being calm.
Now, a rod is not a telephone or a shoe like in my grandmother's house.
The closest thing to us could be subject to becoming a projectile.
I do not recommend that.
It is not an effective way or a biblical way of applying corporal punishment.
But so also it is ineffective to use your hand in a fit of anger.
Right?
The whole idea of a rod is that it's deliberate.
It's deliberate. And just as an additional note to that, just because the Bible uses the term rod doesn't mean we've got to
use steel rebar or anything like that. We should definitely use wisdom because you have to remember,
you might, like my poor wife, that lady bruises and like she has no idea where, I mean, yesterday I saw a bruise on her foot.
I mean, it was a big black and blue bruise after church.
You need to ask her.
No, I'm just joking.
A big, ugly bruise on her foot.
If you have a kid like that, it's going to look like you beat your kid half to death if your kid bruises easily, right?
This is why you have to use wisdom. You might not have. You might have been restrained and have been calm, but other people don't get that. And it is not illegal to spank your children in South Carolina. There are some states where it might be, but it's not illegal here. So, but you also can't like make it appear like your kid just got through a boxing
match with Mike Tyson or something like that either. So you got to use wisdom, right? Yeah.
I can't imagine what he had to say. What's that? So it whistled.
How do you know?
Don't answer that.
All right.
Heard about it, yeah.
I heard through the grapevine.
All right, number seven.
We're almost done here.
Number seven. You know when the correction has done its job,
when the attitude changes.
Proverbs 15, 10, correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way,
and he that hateth reproof shall die.
The whole purpose of the correction is to change the heart toward that action.
And you know when that happens
because the child's attitude toward that thing changes.
So long as your child,
and I'm trying to be practical here,
so long as your child has that kind of stout-hearted resistance,
that kind of anger at the correction,
it hasn't gotten through yet.
You gotta be careful of that
because some kids, one mistake many parents make is that they have a set form when they do use
corporal correction. They have a set form. They do, you know, whatever, however they do it.
The kids learn that form and they learn to tolerate that much. And then they sit there
hard-hearted fuming with anger.
But that's why Proverbs says,
correction is grievous to him that forsaketh the way.
When that child finally gives in to that correction,
the attitude changes and it has finally penetrated that child.
And that might not be the same for one child as another.
But if you or I as parents, if we apply correction correctly,
but then we don't actually, it doesn't penetrate the child's heart and manner and attitude,
it's not going to bear any fruit. Hebrews 12, 11 says this,
Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous. Nevertheless, here's the key. Afterward, it yieldeth the peaceable fruit
of righteousness. See, some parents, they come away from applying corporal correction, and they're
like, okay, I did what I should do, but the child is in no way different. That's a danger,
because that's actually going to harden the child, because it hasn't produced
any peaceable fruit of righteousness.
He's the same as he was, all right?
So be careful of that.
Lastly, number eight,
one of the dangers in correction is simply not doing it.
Proverbs 13, verse 24.
He that spareth his rod hateth his son.
Andrew, we were talking about that the other day,
the word hate, we saw it on Sunday in this way.
He that spareth his rod hateth his son,
but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Betimes.
Betimes means, sometimes it means dawn. It means early, soon when there's a problem.
This speaks to our temptation to be inconsistent when our child is acting out and needs to be corrected.
There's this temptation to say, I really want to do that. Proverbs 23, verse 13. Withhold not correction from the child,
for if thou beatest him, there's that word, with the rod, he shall not die. Again,
the temptation is addressed. Don't spare. Don't withhold. Your child needs correction.
Don't withhold. Your child needs correction. You can't be inconsistent. You can't be negligent.
You see, failure and inconsistency in this command of the Lord for parents to children is at its core a desire to have one's own convenience or maybe even just laziness.
And I know what that's like.
I've had six kids.
I have six kids.
I know exactly what that's like.
You know, six kids can get in a lot of trouble
all at the same time.
I'm telling you, it's trouble times six.
And it is exhausting.
Chasing kids, dealing with stuff all the time,
all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time.
But if we say, you know what? I'm just tired. Whatever. Do what you want.
You see, that's self-centeredness.
Because being consistent in correction will take a lot of work.
For us, it'll be easy now.
It'll be easy right now.
But our kids will be the one that bear the fruit of that.
Inconsistency.
Proverbs 29, 17 says this,
Correct thy son and he shall give thee rest.
But that's in the future.
The hard work is now.
You have to remember that in correction,
we're doing it for them, not for ourselves.
You got to remember Proverbs 22, 15.
You know this verse.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child,
but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Think about the implications of this verse.
Think about what it's saying.
Foolishness, in this case, is not acting silly.
Biblical, proverbial foolishness is the fool has said in his heart there is no God.
The man who chases after sin and loves it.
That's the fool in Proverbs.
Not just silliness.
Foolishness is already in the child's heart.
That's what this verse is saying.
It's already there.
And the ride, the correction, will drive it away.
But what happens if we spare it?
If we withhold it when it's needed?
It's easy for us.
We don't have to work.
It's not as laborious, yes.
But that foolishness will remain in our child
and it will morph into adult foolishness.
And adult foolishness is dreadful and wicked indeed.
So I just want to encourage you for those that are in this stage of life or will be.
I encourage you to step up and intervene
and stand in the gap for your child. Your child needs your intervention. He needs that. Let's pray.