Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Away We Go We Go follows the journey of Sophie & Jordan Epton, an American couple who moved to France with their 10-month old twins, and the crazy adventure that follows. We dive deep into what it's really like moving and living abroad as expats, interview others who have taken the road less traveled, provide travel tips, discuss how you can do hard things to change your own life, and everything in between.
Moving Through Change and Belief
===
[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Away We Go WeGo podcast. It is just me, myself, and I today, solo podcast. If you guys can imagine, we are not even two and a half weeks out from our move to California from France. And so one of us has to keep going with everything, and so that one of us can be here to record.
And I thought today would be such a good time for me to really talk [00:01:00] about what it has taken mentally to essentially move our family three years ago to France from Austin, Texas. And then, you know, what it's essentially taking for us to make these decisions to move back in only a three-year span. Because it takes a lot of grit and a lot of belief in yourself.
And I think for people who are going through it right now and don't quite know, you know, where to begin, I think this is absolutely the episode for you To hopefully inspire you and have some takeaways, and just to understand a little bit more about how you can essentially rewire your brain into believing in yourself, which is so important in this life.
So first things first, let's get into a little bit of housekeeping and behind the scenes. It has been [00:02:00] it's been a couple weeks. I feel like the last time we talked to you guys, we were starting to sell some furniture. We were trying to figure out how we were gonna sell the car. Well, as of today, all of our furniture is spoken for, which is amazing, and we actually sold the car two days ago.
Woo. But it wasn't without some trial and error, which I'm very happy to talk all about. So, um, we are, our entire apartment is completely dismantled. There are boxes everywhere. There are, you know, suitcases everywhere. I'm literally working right now with a suitcase right behind my desk, and, you know, it's, it's all good because we know, like, where we're going, and we are just, like, getting what we need to get done every single day.
It's definitely really challenging and really [00:03:00] overwhelming. I would be lying to you guys if I told you that I was just, you know, not staying up till, like, 1:30 every single night. That's just the nature of what is going on right now. But it's all getting done, and it's... You know, we're, we're excited. I think at this point, you know, we're definitely taking in the things that we're, are feeling very bittersweet and that we'll miss about France.
We're making it a point to, you know, go to our favorite places and go to the markets and do all of these things every single weekend. But I think mentally we're already in California because we have to be. We have to have that kind of mental game in order to just kind of, you know, get through, slog through these last weeks, um, and just how much work it is on top of, you know, raising our family and taking care of our children and making sure they're okay.
[00:04:00] So yeah, a couple really funny things that have happened. So Yeah, selling the car. Let me tell you, personally, I would highly, highly, highly recommend for the love of all that is good that you do not use Le Bon Coin. It's kind of like the French Craigslist here, but the way that... And again, I mean, Craigslist in the States is still not great.
There's still a lot of issues, but I think that it was just a very, very, like talk about like Kind of as Americans, how we think, you know, just because of how we've grown up and how, like the perceptions that we have of things and how they're supposed to go, and how different culturally things are here.
And that could not be more apparent except when you go on somewhere like the [00:05:00] Bonquense. So we, you know, if everyone knows if you've been listening, the car was in an accident like three months ago. Someone hit us, like literally sideswiped us. Um, completely not our fault, but of course, we had to, you know, use her insurance and go take care of the car.
And what was great is that because it was already in the shop, we had a couple little dings in the back from, you know, living in X and living in the city, and so we had all of that taken care of, you know, thought the outside of the car looked absolutely beautiful. The inside we got totally detailed, like it looked amazing and brand-new.
And, you know, and the car is two years old, and it's used. And so Jordan had priced the car, like, way below just because we, you know, we've known it had been in an accident even though it looks brand-new again. It just, you know, it's just those things. It- it's like psychologically. So we, we priced it, like, you know, under what kind of the going rate we [00:06:00] saw.
And so it was wild because he posted it, and within, like, a minute or two, we got all of these offers from people. And there was a guy who was coming in from Montpellier, which is like a two, three-hour train ride from here, saying like, "I want the car, and I'm going to bring a certified check with me," blah, blah, blah.
Which, of course, you're kind of like, "We'll see how this goes." Like, you could be a little crazy. We have no idea what we're doing here, and we're trying to do this in a different language, so it's just, like, challenging on every single level. But the one thing I will say, so he went back and, Jordan went back and forth with this guy.
It seemed super legit. The guy literally, like, pulled the check and was like, "You can call my bank and, like, you know, ask about it," blah, blah, blah, um, because that's the other thing is that, you know, people have to give certified checks here. And you just, you know, you just don't know if it's going to be a scam or not [00:07:00] sometimes, so you have to be, like, really careful about it.
But we did our due diligence. It seemed super legit. And so, you know, in our minds, because of how we've grown up and how we've, like, perceived the world living in America for the majority of our lives, it's kind of like when someone brings a certified check or a check or whatever it is, and they say they're ready to buy, they're like 90% there.
They just need to essentially see it and check it and make sure that everything's good That is not the case here. So he came to check it. I was like, I'm really funny about this stuff. I let, like, totally let Jordan handle it 'cause I'm just like, I... This stuff gave, gives me so much anxiety and I just wanna like, kinda be in the background with the kids.
I'm gonna stay upstairs, then we're gonna go... Like, we went outside and we went to like, go s- you know, do the market and go, you know, get drinks for the kids at Cafe Luli. And I just kinda let him handle it, but it was wild because when I was walking outside I could tell [00:08:00] this guy. I was like, "I don't know about this guy."
I told Jordan, he went over to say hi to me as I was walking out, and I was like, "What's up with this guy? This seems like not... Like, he's like checking out the car with a grimace on his face, like a little too much." And Jordan's like, "Oh, no, everything's... Like, he's just checking a couple things. It should be fine.
Like, we should be ready to go." So kids and I go and sit down at Cafe Luli. They get an orange juice, we get like some little treats, and we're eating, and then he texts me, he's like, "Yeah, it's a no-go." And I'm like, "I could've told you that." And so he, he comes to meet us, and he essentially tells me, like, because there are, like...
I mean, they are like teeny, tiny little things. Like, there's like three or four of them on the car. So one was, like, a scratch that is literally like, probably a millimeter high on the side of a, a door, like underneath the window. And then there's like a tiny, tiny little ding. It's like literally less than the size of like a, you know, the [00:09:00] circumference of a pencil eraser, um, on the back, I think because when we were in a garage and one time, like, you know, it just hit something up above.
Whatever. Like, just like literally, like four or five of these teeny, tiny little dings. He was like, "I can't do it. I need it to be perfect." And we're like, "Okay. Well, you know, do you wanna negotiate? Because then it's something you can fix." And he said, "I don't wanna negotiate. I don't wanna have to fix anything."
Which in our minds was kind of crazy because we're like, dude, we already... It's a used car and we already priced it to be lower than everyone else. And we already, like, took photos of it and did say, like, it's used. Like, the outside is not absolutely perfect. And he still came in, I don't know, want- I don't know what.
It was wild. So then we had one more guy come in. We told him like, "Hey, the first guy didn't want it because there's like a couple dings," which we had, like, talked [00:10:00] about in the ad. And so he still wanted to come in, and it was the same thing. He literally told us, he's like, "If I see that mark on the, on the car door, like, it's just I'm, I'm not gonna be able to see anything but that We, I'm like, I'm like, "Am I insane?"
I literally went downstairs to go look at the car and look at the, you know, the, the side of it, and I'm like, "Who would notice this?" Like, and I kind of consider myself, like, a pretty type A person. Like, I, I like things to look really nice, and I'm looking at this and I'm like, "What the fuck?" Like, there's, like, nothing here.
But the point is, is that it just is a very different mindset, and we kind of, we got very schooled on that because we, we realized, and I did kind of more research on this, that just the cultural difference is that, like, an American would rather come in and, and sometimes they're, like, okay with the fact that it's not perfect because they can get a better deal, and then [00:11:00] they can go fix things how they want.
Versus in French, like, mindset, from all the research that I did after this whole debacle, is that they are way more risk-averse, and they would rather wait to have something that's perfect And they don't wanna have to, like, put in anything. They would j- they just don't wanna have to do any of it. So it's just, it's like, it's either, it's kind of like it's a very purist way of thinking, which is okay, but it just sort of, like, rocked our world a little bit because I think we h- I mean, again, never good to, you know, count your money until it's in your bank, but it was just, it was so weird 'cause we were like, okay, like, these guys are super serious.
They're bringing checks, blah, blah, blah. That didn't matter. Like, they literally walked away and ripped up the check. It was just, it was, like, a very wild experience. So I said, "Screw this. We're not doing Le Bon Coin. This is, like, not even worth our time. We [00:12:00] just need to get this car sold." And so there's a CarMax-type place, um, called Vendez Votre Voiture.
I will link it. So it s- essentially means sellyourcar, you know, .com or .fr. And it was honestly amazing because we went in Monday morning. We were in and out within an hour, and what was so cool is essentially you, like, put in your info. You know, I mean, it's like any other CarMax, but you put in your info.
You put in the condition of the car. They give you, like, their estimate, and the guy went and checked out the car, came back and was like, "Great news." Like, "You described this perfectly. We're gonna get this money for you." And the beauty is it's so different when you sell a car here because you have to, f- of course, paperwork.
It's France we're talking about here. You have to, like, fill out all this paperwork if you're, like, privately selling your car, and you have to do all this work and then also essentially give it to ANTS and, you know, [00:13:00] file it and make sure, you know, everything is good versus this company will just do all the paperwork for you, and then you don't have to think about it.
So it was like we made a couple thousand euro less, but it was like, are you kidding me? Like, the fact that we don't have to file all this paperwork, the fact that we don't have to worry about a check clearing, the fact that we don't have to, like, deal with all these tire kickers and just, like, you know, kinda ruined our Saturday a little bit.
I mean, we were okay. We just had to, like, regroup and figure it out, but it was a good lesson, and certainly I thought to myself as soon as this was happening, like, "I can't wait to talk about this on the podcast because hopefully I can educate, you know, some people to, like, kind of avoid this at all costs."
And essentially, like, Jordan had heard from several people, like, just sell it on Le Bon Coin. But then other people had told us, like, "Oh my God, it's the worst," and it really is. It's, it's like, it's like, it's like sh- a super shitty Craigslist. Craigslist is already kinda shitty to begin [00:14:00] with. So yeah, it was just, it was a wild experience.
And then what was so funny is the weekend was very interesting and we're like, "I feel like this is like, you know, the universe is like making room, clearing things out," because, uh, so that was Saturday. We went through the whole Cardabuckle thing, and then Sunday... So if you guys have been following along, you know that we, so our internet does not work well in our apartment building.
We've tried the three different local internet services. They do not work. And so we had to, like, regroup and get a Starlink, and it is, we can't even put it on our roof because it's a historical building, so we have a big courtyard outside of our apartment building, and that's where the Starlink has been, because essentially we're on Zooms all the time every day, and, like, nothing but a Starlink was going to make that work.
And so anyways, we, that thing has been here for two and a half years, and Sunday was the day that there were [00:15:00] some cleaners that came in and ran over it. And luckily, we would've never known who it was, what had happened, anything, because I think this person was just gonna drive off. But luckily, our incredible upstairs neighbor, who's, like, the sweetest lady, who's also a twin by the way, she knocked on our door and said, "Come out here.
Like, this person ran over your Starlink. I wanted to get their attention." And so it was a whole, it was a whole thing, but it luckily still works, but it was, you know, we had to, like, negotiate, and apparently when things like this happen, again it's another thing where you have to do, like, a lot of paperwork and file for insurance, and they were like, "We don't wanna do this.
Can we just give you some cash?" We're like, "Yes, just give us cash. Like, we're good." So, so the Starlink, hopefully, it's, like, sitting on the ground with some orange cones around it in our courtyard. It's on its last leg, and I think that kind of describes exactly [00:16:00] how we are feeling. We are, if anyone has ever watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off, which is, like, one of the best movies of all time by the way, but when you think about Mr.
Rooney at the very end of that movie where he has, like, had quite the day. He's hobbling along to get into the school bus. That's kinda... Sometimes, especially when we're late at night, that is pretty much how we're feeling. So we're like, "Par for the course. At least the Starlink still works." Like, we're, you know- It's, everything is surviving.
We're in survival mode. Like, it's fine. So, you know, we just keep on rolling. All good. So yeah, this weekend we will be out of town for one last kind of obligation. We'll be near Narbonne, which is, like, near the border of Spain. And then after that, it's like we get back and we're gonna have some lunches with some friends [00:17:00] and pack everything up, get all of our furniture taken out by Monday, Tuesday, and then it's literally just go time.
So we will record our last episode here in a few weeks since we're doing every other week right now. And yeah. And then, and then you'll see us on the other side. You'll see us in California and building out our new lives there, 'cause life is an adventure. So all that to say, all the craziness, I thought it would be really incredible to kind of talk about our biggest secrets for achieving anything you want in life.
And now I, I don't claim to know everything. That is not, not at all what I claim. But what I would say is, um, we've had a lot of people who have come to us to be like, "You know, you just moved to France, and then now you're, like, moving back. And, like, that's just more than most people would ever do in a lifetime, and [00:18:00] you've done it essentially in three years.
And, like, how, how do you do that? How do you kind of, you know, have the gumption to do all that? 'Cause that's a lot, especially with family." And I think for us, it's kind of the way that we've moved through life. Um, ever since Jordan and I met, I don't think that either of us have ever thought that anything isn't possible.
But it's because of, I think, just we've had a certain mindset for a long, long time in our lives. And it's really important, I think, when you... You know, 'cause everyone... I mean, this is a perfect example. Like, I talked about this so much on the podcast in the last three months, is the one time I lost this was when I did have my postpartum depression while I was living in France, and I, and I couldn't understand, I didn't recognize myself because I'd always been someone who could, you know, figure it out and always kinda knew what my direction was.
And that was a time where I just felt like I was like, you know, had no purpose, totally [00:19:00] directionless in a lot of ways. And so especially, I would say, getting... Like, having to dig myself out of that place and really, like, come to terms again with who I was, has actually only made me so much stronger and have so much more conviction about this idea that you can achieve anything you want.
And it doesn't necessarily happen overnight. We're not talking about this. I don't actually think anything good truly ever comes easy or fast. I think that is, like, the life lesson of living on this earth. But what I will say is that if you are... I don't think there's anyone who has achieved things in their life and achieved big things without having an innate sense of belief and an innate sense of grit and essentially never giving up.
And I think that's, like, the biggest thing. So really when it comes down to it, [00:20:00] when we think about moving and how much we've done in the last, you know, couple years, and really like the metamorphosis that our family has had in the last three years, which I truly only have France to thank for this. But I feel like the logistics is actually not the hard part at all in all of this moving.
The, the hardest part is that, is finding yourself and becoming the person that you wanna be, and staying that person who believes that kind of essentially your future is already waiting for you, that it's already done, even when you're standing in rubble, so to speak. In our cases, we're standing in boxes and, and suitcases.
But it really has come down to, I would say for Jordan and I, like kind of an operating system, a, a belief operating system that we choose to literally live in [00:21:00] every single day. And is it perfect? No. Like we, we have our hard days. I mean, this weekend was a doozy. But it's kind of like when things happen that don't go your way, I always think, I like to think about two things.
One, like feel it out, go through the feelings, say, "This sucks," you know? And then kinda get out of it quickly and be like, "Okay, how are we moving forward? What's the solution? What can we do? How can we like protect our mindset?" All of those things. And then number two, by the way, I just do truly believe that the universe like gives you what you want when you're ready for it.
And so sometimes it's like when things happen, and I'm sure many of you listeners could probably point to this, like when things happen the way they do, and then hindsight's 20/20 and you're like, "I'm really happy it happened that way and that things didn't work out in that way that time because of X, Y, and Z."
And so I think it's [00:22:00] almost like a protection for you, right? So, so that's what I always say is like good thing that the universe always has my back and that, you know, like when, like when everything is supposed to come together, it will. So here's kind of like our belief system and how we have essentially like done all of this, and how, and how we've like lived our lives the last especially 15 years where we've, you know, been entrepreneurs and we've traveled the world for it, and we've like raised our kids while still doing all this, and we're starting a new business, and all of these things.
Because it's, it's a lot, but if we can do it, anyone can do it. So number one is you want to really decide first and figure it out later. And this is probably in some ways one of the hardest ones because- I think that, and it makes total sense, like [00:23:00] people want to see that things exist before they... It's like, it's our, it's our brains.
It's our like, you know, fear and protection mechanisms in our brains that are like, "Well, I don't see this, you know, in real life, like flesh and blood, so like how do I know that it's safe to like go for this? There are so many things that could happen." And then your brain starts to like completely spiral out.
And at the end of the day, it's like anything, you think about this, anything that's ever been invented, anything, whether it's been electricity or, you know, some beautiful architectural building. Like whatever it is, you know, a medicinal breakthrough. Like that, none of those things happened because they already existed first or someone had already done it first.
It was because someone thought about it in their mind and decided, "This is going to happen and I'm going to do whatever I need to do to make it happen." And so you think about that. I mean, there's so many things that never existed, and now [00:24:00] they exist because someone decided to think about it and have a belief in it and take that chance.
So for your own life, when you think about it, it's like you... No, no matter what your, your external world is telling you, you have to look so much more inward and know that, "I believe in this. It doesn't matter what my outside world is telling me right now, because if I decide this first, everything else will get figured out."
At the end of the day, the decision comes before the path is visible. Because the idea is that you have so much belief in what you're going to do, that the path will become clear as you start to go through it and assume and believe that what you're doing is what is going to happen.
So for instance, when we decided, it was kind of like a little seed that started to get planted last fall, because when I was starting my new [00:25:00] company, Elle Story, I was starting to think, like, wow, like, I really don't think that this is something that I could, you know, stay in France and be constantly going back to the States to run.
Like, I, I feel like I probably need to be boots on the ground. And then, but then my mind was telling me, like, "Well, wait, but like, you just, you've only been in France three years, and you're, like, starting to, like, really, you know, get a grasp on things, and you have put so much time and energy into it. Like, and you're, and you're settled.
You're, like, really settled here now. Like, why would you do that?" So it took... You know, it was kind of one of those things where, because I've, like, trained myself enough, I was like, "That's nice, brain. I like that, like, you know, you're trying to protect me, but, like, these are the facts. These are, like, you know, the reality of, I think, what it's going to be like And I know that I want to build this company.
So when Jordan and I looked at kind of the pros and cons of everything and made the decision, we had no [00:26:00] idea how this was all gonna come together. But we made the decision, we're moving. And then from there it was the decision's already been made, this is already happening, this is already in motion, so then what do we need to do to like work backwards from our move date?
And so, you know, the first thing was it was like, you know, booking tickets. Um, and then it was, you know, how are we gonna find the place that we need to be in? And then, you know, just things like that, like the car, like insurance, the kids' school, like all those things. And so but it was, it was wild because once we had decided this is what's happening and like it's done, it was true that the path, even though we had no clue what like the next three, four, five months looked ahead of us, you know, or, or looked like ahead of us I should say, it...
Everything started to open up and everything started to like align with that belief, you know? So it was like, I mean, it was so easy finding their school. I couldn't believe it. And we [00:27:00] got, we got them into this like amazing like top public school. The place that we found, it was so kismet because I had seen it and I was kind of thinking about it, and then I was like, "I need to pull the trigger."
And it was like two days after the listing had gone live, and we got like the last of like this like, they're like townhomes, the last of this unit that like we really, really wanted that had like a, like a little outdoor area for the kids. I mean, it was, it was, it was so great. And was like an- and even now I like keep getting, you know, Zillow listings and I'm like, "I think this is like the best thing we could've gotten," 'cause nothing has shown up as good as this.
Um, so all of those things, but you just, but you have to take the leap first. It's like you have to jump off the cliff first in order for you to like know like you're gonna f- you're gonna have a landing pad. It's, it's going to work out if you believe in that, right? So then when it comes to, you know, when you decide, the second thing you have to think about is, and this by the way I am I am not [00:28:00] coming up with this on my own.
This is a Neville Goddard mantra. If you don't know who Neville Goddard is, you need to go listen to him. He is, like, the godfather of manifestation. And, you know, you can think it's all woo woo, but to me, anyone I know who's done incredible things in their lives is because they tuned into their belief system and how they manifest and assume and believe things for their own life.
And this man, he was born in 1905, super old-school. You can tell when you listen to his recordings, which I always go to YouTube to, like, listen to him. He is full of so much wisdom and conviction, and he was one of the people that I really listened to a lot when I started to, you know, rewire myself to get out of my postpartum depression.
And everything that he says is so true and incredible and amazing, and I, I will link him. I, I [00:29:00] cannot think of someone better to listen to, especially in this world where we're surrounded by, you know, so much, like, negative news and fear-mongering, all these things. It's like, he is someone to listen to when it's like, at the end of the day, like...
And I, I was just telling a friend this. It's life, of course, there's realities of life around us, and we're never gonna have our head in the sand about that. But I think so many people get so crippled by what is going on externally. It's like, it's like when you see something in the news, and it just literally, like, ruins your entire day.
And I think when you learn to live more from an internal state, and this isn't saying any- any way, shape, or form, like you need to be selfish. It's not like that. It's more just that knowing that you have control over your reactions to things and how you perceive the world, like, things start to get so much better.
So Neville [00:30:00] Goddard, look him up. He has come up with essentially this idea that you live in the end of something, and this is e- this has completely changed Joe and I's life in so many ways. And what was funny is before I even started listening to him, like, we had already been doing this for years. But You essentially assume that something has happened.
So, like, let's say for instance you know that you want to move somewhere, or you know that you want to find a better job, or you know that, you know, you want to find the love of your life, whatever it is. Assume that it's already happened for you, because essentially what starts to shift is you. And what's so cool about that is that you will start to, just because your, your brain is changing to already assume this, you know, new reality for yourself, you will have a totally different energy around you, and the way that you, like, move through the [00:31:00] world will change.
And the way, and the, and the decisions you make, and, you know, the conversations you have and, and the energy. I mean, have you ever, like, walked into a room and someone greeted you, and they were in a horrible mood, they had, like, super bad energy, and you could just tell it just, like, sucked the life out of, like, everything in that room?
Or someone that walks in behind you and they're just like, like, "Hey," like, "What's, how's it going?" You know? And they're just, like, very... Like, you can tell their energy is just, like, so high and they're so open, and, like, things are, like, great for you, and it, and it literally changes the room in, like, a better way.
And the same thing goes for, like, you too. It's like if, you know, when you feel like you're in a bad mood versus a good mood, it's like the way that you walk into the world is, like, so different. And so it's kind of the same thing when if you're already living in the end of something. Like, you already in your mind are like, "This has happened."
Like, "This has happened, and it's just, like, all that we're doing is we're, like, [00:32:00] collapsing the time that it takes to, like, get there," then you literally become that person who, like, whether it's, you know, you are someone who has found the love of your life, or you are someone who has made, like, you know, incredible business decisions for yourself and your family, or you are moving somewhere, you're making big changes in your life.
Like, whatever that looks like, if you're al- already living in the end, like, you will be amazed at how much you start to change. And because that's also, it's like there's shit that comes in every single day. We live in a very wild existence on this earth, and I think when you, like, let things in from the outside, like, dictate how you feel, it's just, like, not the way to do it.
I think it's like, yes, like, it's not, you can't be positive 24/7. You can't be rainbows and sunshine 24/7. But I think you can start to, like, [00:33:00] really- compress how exterior things affect you, and know that, like, you always have this incredible homeostasis because you know who you are, you know what you believe in in your life, and you know what you assume is going to happen in your life.
And that's, like, a very, very powerful place to be. M- number three, and this is something that I still to this day have to, like, train myself on somewhat, which is why I listen to, like, Neville Goddard all the time, like every morning. The how is not your job.
The when is not your job. Your job is the what and the why. Like, because the how and the when is what people get really tripped up on, because I don't know if you've ever seen, there's this amazing graphic that I had a friend send to me, and it's... I should post it on, you know, I'd probably link it. But essentially, it's like two guys who are digging for like [00:34:00] diamonds, and one of them has dug so far in, and then has like probably a foot to go of like then just hitting like the diamond mine, and has decided it's been too long, it's gone on too much, like I'm turning around, and he was this close to hitting it.
And then there's a guy on top of him, like in this mine, who's digging, and he is not as far along, but you can tell his attitude is, "I'm gonna keep digging until I find these diamonds," and he will. And so I think that's something that has seemed to happen a lot, and I get really bummed out when I see people like quit.
In fact, this was like such a thing when, you know, we were transitioning into California and people were like, "Well, what's happening with the podcast, and what's happening with your Instagram?" And it was like, we're gonna keep going, absolutely. Like, we've built up this incredible community. This podcast is listened to in [00:35:00] over 100 countries.
Like, we have amazing people in our world, and the people that wanna come along on this journey are gonna come along with us as we go to California. We're not gonna give up on it just because like our circumstances have changed. And so I think that's what happens, though, is people get... It's like so many people quit probably right before, like the big thing happens.
And so I think the biggest thing is just to like know that the how it happens, and especially the when, you have to like let that go, and, and kind of know that like that's not up to you. It's more about like you know what your why is. We've talked about this since the very, I wanna say, first or second episode of this podcast.
You want to know what your why is. Whatever it is in your life that you're trying to achieve, you want to know what your why is. And then the what is kind of like, you know, what you're going to do as a person to [00:36:00] make these things happen. Because if you know those two things, and you know that you're never giving up, like you are guaranteed to have these things happen for you.
It may take longer than you think, of course, but it's going, it's going to happen. You can, I feel like you can ask anyone who's successful and it's just like, it's how it works. So for us, for instance, it's like, you know, we When we move to California, like we don't know what's ahead of us, like in terms of we don't know how things are gonna happen exactly, and we don't know when things are going to happen.
But we assume and we believe that our lives that we want and the lives that we're trying to achieve and the women that we're trying to help has already happened. We're just kind of, you know, moving along the timeline to get there. And it's a really cool way because almost it, like your brain starts to kind of give up on control, which is [00:37:00] such a good thing because it's the control I think that actually can create more lack in your life because you're just holding on to something so hard, when it's just good to kind of let it go and be like, "Everything will work out.
It might work out in a slightly different way than I thought, but it's all gonna work out." And I think that's a, a really, really good place to be. Um, number four I would say is really facing your fears head-on. Fear is like truly so many times it's just logistics in a costume. So like when people have anxiety, they always say one of the best things you can do is just start to write things down or start to take action, because anxiety and fear is just like your brain trying to make sense of something that doesn't exist yet, like the path doesn't exist.
But like what does that look like if you actually just start writing everything down and creating a list? Like I always tell people, and I've, I've coached people [00:38:00] for years in business, and one of the first things I have them do is they create a roadmap. And again, we're living from the end, where you create the exact like thing that you want, and then you work backwards from it.
So you say, "I want this thing by this date." And again, don't be married to exactly how it's gonna happen, 'cause it might change and things might, you know, take a little bit longer. But just at least to get yourself moving, you create that date with your goal, and then you create all these little, like working backwards, all of these little mini goals and, and things that you're getting done every single day in order to move that needle forward and to get things done by those dates.
So especially when you start doing that and es- and when you start executing on that, like it completely changes your brain because your brain is constantly looking for things that are con- consistent, happening over and over again. And if you create all of these [00:39:00] lists for yourself where you're essentially like following them and you're being consistent and disciplined every day about them, like no matter what, your brain is now getting all of this feedback that that's who you're becoming, that's who you are, and that things will get done because you have been consistent and It's just like anything else.
It's like if you wanna go work out and you wanna get in shape, you're never gonna get there by, like, I think not having a plan and not being consistent and disciplined. But the more that you can just show up every day or what, you know, it's five days a week, three days a week, whatever. The more that you're showing up, the more that you're training yourself and your belief system and your brain that, like, you are capable of this.
And that you can do this because guess what? History has shown that you've done it, so you can keep doing it. And trust me, I mean, if you think there hasn't been days where I don't feel like doing something, there's... I mean, I would say almost daily right [00:40:00] now because I'm so sleep-deprived there are things that I don't feel like doing.
But the point is, is that I've already aligned myself with the fact that I'm a really disciplined person who's consistent, and I do things no matter what. And so I still do them because I know that, like, you know, for instance, I'm a person who, like, I try to get, like, 7 to 10,000 steps in a day no matter what.
And oftentimes I have to habit stack that with something else, whether I'm like, you know, answering your messages on Instagram while I'm walking, or I'm putting together a post or whatever it is. Like, I'm always habit stacking, but, like, I will get it done because that's who I am. And it's, it's very, very, very rare when I miss it, and if I miss one day I get right back up and do it.
So it's the same thing with whatever goals and dreams you're working on in your life, and especially for, like, a big international move too. It's like, you know, the fact that, like, we have now done so much, we're proving to ourselves, like, we can, we ca- we have two weeks left and we [00:41:00] got this because look at how much we've done in the last, like, four months to get ourselves here.
So it's really just, it's all about that, like, writing things down, sticking to, you know, what needs to get done and doing it. And then number five I feel like has to do, again, it's sort of taking all of these ideas and molding them into the idea that you need to become the person who's already done it.
Because essentially, your brain, and I'm sure many of you have heard this, but it's so true, your brain does not know the difference between what is real and what is, like, a fantasy or an idea in your mind. And so when you are trying to really up-level your life and do big things, it takes a different identity in order to do that.
Like, the person who I was two years ago, who felt very broken and a shell of myself, [00:42:00] and was kind of, like, stuck in this hamster wheel of victimhood, I mean, a person that I honestly ne- could never, like, recognize, is, like, the literal opposite of who I am today. And so, but, but that identity and who I was being stuck in that postpartum depression versus who I am now, like, I had to do a lot of work to get there, and I had to, like...
Like, when I talk about I had to rewire my brain, this is what I'm talking about. I had to become the person who'd already done the things that I wanted to do. So when you get up, it feels silly at first, it really does, but then as you start to go along, you realize how absolutely powerful it is to do this.
You wake up and you assume what your dreams are have already happened, and then you think about, "If my dreams have already happened, if I, you know, started the job that I wanted, or [00:43:00] started the company that I wanted, and I was, like, financially in a really good place, and my family was, you know, we were in a really good place," whatever it is, "how would I feel and how would I move through the world?"
And that is literally, if you can think about that, not only are you going to, I think, just feel much more calm and at peace, have your, like, nervous system regulated a lot more, but you are going to so quickly, I think, realize your dreams are happening. And it is, it's wild, because when you become the person that you essentially has already done it, right?
And you take on more of that persona- You are literally, like, shifting energies, and you're shifting things around you, and you're making your dream, just [00:44:00] like you're, like, collapsing a timeline so that it, it gets to you so much quicker. Because at the end of the day, it's like someone who, you know, thinks they're a loser and, and are down in the dumps about things, and whatever it is, and h- has low self-esteem, they cannot get to their dreams because there are so many things that internally are blocking them.
But if... Even if, like, they were... They decided, "I'm going to change my life, and the outside world isn't reflecting yet what my inner world is reflecting, but I feel like I'm already someone who has achieved their dreams," and they start living in that. Can you imagine? It's like your t- your personality, your energy, like, all of that shifts so much, and then, like, things get attracted to you, just like anything else in this world.
You know, you put out, you put out good, you get good back. So it [00:45:00] really is, it's, like, an incredible way to, like, think about, you know, how you wanna, like, change things in your life. Um, and the thing is too is I'm very realistic about this. I know that, like, some people, you know, will hear me and be like, "Well, you know, how does this actually work?"
And, like, what do you do if you're scared? And so here's really, like, the practical layer that comes with this because it does take a lot of work. It's not gonna be perfect when you start. You have to just keep doing it every single day, becoming consistent, and then it'll start to feel a lot more natural. So one of the most important things that I've personally done that has really helped me in the last couple years, and just helped me so much in like the last couple decades of my life, is that I really do practice like mindset work before the day starts. And I'm not talking about like some, you know, three-hour, like all these like guys on these podcasts talking about how they have like, "Yeah, I do, you know, like my sauna and my ice [00:46:00] plunge," and like all this stuff.
It's like, no, no, no. I'm talking like you can do this in five minutes. But what's really important is that it's true. Like if you are waking up and you're in this very special state where it's like you're, you were kind of in like unconscious dream world and now you're waking up to like, you know, conscious world.
You, you want to like take advantage of that because it like sets the tone of your day. And so if you immediately like hop on your phone and you're looking at other things, you know, on social media, or you're, you know, looking at the news, I mean, truly it like hijacks your emotions and it hijacks like the vibe of your entire day.
Whereas if you were to like get up, and the first thing I do is I think about what I'm thankful for. Having like thankfulness and knowing the things that are abundant, even if like life is not going great, there are still so many things that are [00:47:00] wonderful. Whether it's like, you know, you have your health.
That is huge. You have your family. That's amazing. Like you have, you know, warm food, you know, clean water, all these things. Because you think about it, there's so many people that don't have that. And so if you can think about those ideas before the day even starts, that's a huge thing. And then what I love to do is then think about, so I think about what I'm grateful for
and then I think about essentially like what's already happened. Like I, I dream about like that end point and I, and I, I think about it and I, and I feel the emotions of it. And then when I, you know, open my eyes and I go about my day, it's like everything that I do just kind of effortlessly pulls into what I've thought about.
Because it's not really like something that I like desperately want, it's something that I know is going to happen. And so yeah, [00:48:00] I'm going to answer the emails. I'm going to, you know, work on like the dev of this app. I'm going to like do all these things because that's, you know, that's what it's gonna take and, and this is what I know has like already happened, right?
Um, the other thing to really think about too is that like think about your life and think about all the hard things that have ever happened to you and Even if it was horrible and brutal and you, you know, it took years for you to get out of it, you did eventually get better. You did eventually figure things out.
Like when you think about your life, you have always been able to be scrappy when you've needed to or, you know, leaned on people when you needed to, to figure out how to get out of, you know, a bad situation or a hard time. And so I think you look at that and your past as proof as like if you can get through any of it, like you can get through [00:49:00] these hardships now.
And I don't think there's anyone who doesn't feel like once you get through something challenging and you really like heal from it, you are such a better, stronger person for it. It's true. Like is it total hell when you go through it? Absolutely. It's not fun. But I think, you know, like they say, if you're in hell just keep going just knowing that like you know that on the other side of this is something so much better.
You just have to keep going. You just have to put one foot in front of the other. And knowing that like you do have the, everyone has proof in their life that they've gotten through hard things. So, so look at that and understand that you are capable of this and you can do this
The other thing I always like to tell people is when you're going through, like, whatever your brain is telling you, you wanna ask yourself, "Is this an action or a story?" And if it's a story that you're telling yourself, [00:50:00] like, that, you know, you're worried about X, Y, and Z happening, like, it's time to just release it because it's like we spend so much time worrying and fearing things and, and so many things that don't end up...
Like, the worst-case scenario does not happen. So, like, why wouldn't we focus the same energy on things that could happen, right? And so, and then if it, if it's a true, like, action that has happened, like for instance, our Starlink getting run over. That was a real thing that happened to us. It's like, okay, like, let's get it on the list of things that we need to have a solution to the problem, and then we, you know, feel through it, and we figure it out, and we move on.
And so I think that's really, like, such a good thing because it sort of simplifies how you go about things and how you can, like, let things go that are only dragging you down. And then for things that are real- like, true problems in reality, you can just know [00:51:00] that, you know, whether you need to, like, write it down and figure out the action steps of what you're gonna take to, like, you know, get through it.
Whatever that is, like, you will make a plan for it, and you will get through it. And then the other thing, too, is that I feel like with social media, everyone thinks that success or finding the thing for you, like creating a beautiful life, just happens overnight, and that is... We know this. This is, like, this is not...
Nothing happens overnight. It- like we've talked about so many times, it's like good things take time. They just do. And so, you know, when you're only seeing the highlights of things, I think it's easy to, like, really get down on yourself. And when you're seeing other people, like, succeed, you know, and feel like, it feels like they're succeeding faster, or they found the love of their life, or, you know, they're building this business and you haven't gotten yours started.
Like, whatever it is, first of all, don't compare yourself to anyone else. You're on your own journey. [00:52:00] But second of all, like, life, if we wanna think about it as, like, I don't know, like a, like a staircase, right? And you kinda go, like, up and down, up and down as you're, like, scaling through life, but the thing is, is like you're never gonna, like, you know, hit the whole staircase in one day.
Like, it's a step at a time. And so just knowing that no matter what's going on in your life, whether it's good or bad, you just take a step forward every single day. And some days you might take, like, a really big step and feel like there's a lot of momentum, and some days you're so drained, but you still are consistent and you get something done when your battery's at 10%.
And, like, all of those little, like, micro movements, those little steps- Like add up over time very quickly. And so if you can just remember, like even if you're really scared to do something, and even if it seems impossible, if you just literally keep that needle moving forward every single [00:53:00] day with like one small step, like you will be amazed at how quickly things start to just like snowball and move and work in the direction you want.
So it's, I think for us, it's like everyone just feels like they have to take this huge bite out of life or nothing. It's like all or nothing, and that's really like, that's never how anything really gets done. It's all, it's about these like little, small, boring, tedious things that we do in the background every single day that like move the needle forward until like it gets attention or there's, you know, has the big payoff.
So I think just remembering that is easier to like think about, you know, just taking like small steps and, and you'll get there Jordan and I have made a lot of moves in the last couple years, and we're so thankful for all of it. We 100% believe that there was purpose to e- everything the way that it unfolded.
We would have never, you know, come to the conclusion of, like, building Elle Story without France, and [00:54:00] honestly, just, like, it's really funny because as we're moving to California, people are, like, complaining about certain things like whether it's taxes or whether it's, like, some administrative thing or, you know, like, even...
I don't know, just, like, even the price of, like, gas and electricity. And, and I'm like, "I think we were supposed to be in France," because, you know, it is so much harder in terms of, like, the bureaucracy and the, the little fires you have to put out constantly, and that nothing comes easy, that it's making...
It's, it's created this, I feel like, very incredible springboard for us. For o- once we get to California, uh, things will feel way more, I think, easy comparatively to living in France in terms of just convenience and things like that versus if we had moved somewhere, you know, else in the States, then moved to California.
Like, maybe that would've felt like a bigger thing. So, you know, again, it's... I just think everything has such a purpose in this [00:55:00] life, and we're so thankful for all of it. But, you know, we've made a lot of moves in the last, you know, five years of our lives and, you know, some things have been, you know, knock out of the park.
Some things have been lessons that we've learned from, but no matter what, we believe in ourselves, we take steps every day, and we move forward, and that is the name of the game. So I hope that by listening to this, you know, maybe you took some notes just or just understanding that, like, nothing has to be perfect.
You just have to move on it, and you will watch your world just, like, open up to the dreams and everything that you've ever wanted, truly. Like, you just have to believe. So on that note, I hope you have a fabulous week, and we will be in touch in two weeks right before we move, and I'm sure there'll be a very nice farewell episode for [00:56:00] that.
And in the meantime, remember that you are incredible, you are capable of so many things, and you can do it all. We will talk to you guys soon. Bye.