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Happening in Upland is your weekly rundown of what’s going on around town—local news, community events, public safety updates, new restaurants, development, weather, schools, and the stuff Upland residents actually talk about.
Delivered with humor, honesty, and a very local point of view, this isn’t stiff broadcast news. It’s real, relevant information with personality. If you live in Upland or anywhere nearby in the Inland Empire, this is your weekly shortcut to staying in the loop.
MARK: Welcome to another Tuesday in the City of Gracious Living, or as I've been calling it lately, the city of gracious traffic cones and questionable fiscal choices. It's March 3, 2026, and you're listening to 'Happening in Upland'. I'm Mark, and I'm currently wondering if the city's plan for 'gracious living' involves me actually getting to work on time for once.
JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen, the woman who's upbeat because I've finally accepted that we're all just side characters in a very expensive simulation run by the San Bernardino County Board of Supervisors. We've got a lot of shit to talk about today, from the city council trying to figure out where to put people they don't want to see, to the fact that you can finally get a sandwich while standing in a construction zone. It's fucking beautiful, isn't it?
MARK: It's a goddamn masterpiece of local government. If you're new here, we cover the news, the noise, and the absolute dickheads making decisions in this town. You can find us at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com if you want to complain, though honestly, we probably agree with you. Smash that subscribe button like it's a pothole on Foothill, because we're diving into the absolute chaos of the week.
JOLEEN: Don't forget to like and comment, even if it's just to tell Mark his voice sounds like a tired college professor who's given up on tenure. Anyway, let's hit the headlines. Our illustrious City Council had a work session last night, March 2nd, and they were talking about the 'unhoused roundtable'. Which sounds like a very polite way of saying 'we have no idea what to do, so let's use bigger words'.
MARK: They're moving away from 'reactive issue-by-issue conversations' toward a 'strategic, coordinated systems-based approach'. That's government-speak for 'we're going to talk about it for three more months while we wait for a permit'. They actually clarified that the permit process for a shelter can run concurrently with rezoning, so it's only a three-month process instead of six. Efficiency at its finest, Joleen. Only ninety days of paperwork to solve a human crisis.
JOLEEN: Oh, thank god. Only three months of bureaucratic foreplay. They also mentioned that employment is a 'stabilizing factor'. No shit, Sherlock. I'm sure the guy sleeping behind the 7-Eleven just needed a LinkedIn profile and a firm handshake to turn it all around. The council also acknowledged they need better communication between service providers and city leaders. Translation: they've been shouting into a void for years and just realized the void doesn't have a budget.
MARK: They're still staring down that budget gap too. Last year it was a million-plus, and they're still looking for 'new revenue'. You know what that means? Development fees and parking adjustments. They're basically looking under the couch cushions for spare change while the house is on fire. But hey, at least they aren't cutting the body cameras anymore. Apparently, seeing the shitshow in high definition is a priority for public safety.
JOLEEN: Speaking of things we see in high definition, let's talk about the local crime scene, because Upland's finest have been busy. There's been this trend of 'unconventional' family outings. A guy on parole was just arrested for shoplifting with his stepson. I mean, what happened to just going to a ball game or grabbing a burger? Now it's 'hey kid, hold this bag of stolen electronics while I distract the guy at the counter'.
MARK: It's about mentorship, Joleen. Passing down the family trade. And let's not forget the wild chase from Sherman Oaks that ended right here in our backyard in January. A seventeen-year-old leading the cops on a high-speed pursuit? I couldn't even parallel park at seventeen, and this kid's playing Real Life Grand Theft Auto across three counties. It's impressive and terrifyingly stupid all at once.
JOLEEN: And then there's the six geniuses who tried to evade police by running across the 210 freeway after a burglary. The 210! That's not a getaway route, that's a suicide pact. If the cops don't get you, a distracted driver in a Tesla definitely will. It's like they're competing for the title of 'Upland's Least Likely to Survive the Weekend'. Honestly, the criminals in this town are either very brave or very, very high.
MARK: Probably both. Let's pivot to something slightly more wholesome, though I use that word loosely. The Upland Unified School District. They've been very proud of their 'Taco Bout Technology' summit. Six hundred teachers gathered to talk about BenQ Boards, which are basically giant iPads for the classroom. I love that the district's strategy for professional development is 'we'll give you carnitas if you promise to learn how to use the interactive whiteboard'.
JOLEEN: Hey, don't knock the power of a street taco. It's the only reason I'd ever sit through a meeting about software updates. But seriously, they had high school students teaching the teachers. I can just imagine some poor history teacher getting roasted by a sophomore for not knowing how to air-drop a file. 'Okay, Mr. Johnson, first you stop being fifty, then you click this button.' It's brutal.
MARK: They're also pushing this new 'Pathways Prep Academy' for the next school year. It's a middle college model where kids can get college credit while in high school. It's great for the kids, but I'm just thinking about the parents. 'You're fifteen and you've already got more college debt than I do.' It's a bold move, and it's definitely going to make the competition for those spots at Upland High even more cutthroat than it already is.
JOLEEN: If the kids are smarter than us, maybe they can fix the budget deficit. Or at least figure out how to navigate the road construction. Have you seen Foothill Boulevard lately? It's like they're looking for buried treasure from Benson to Euclid. They've got this $13.2 million rehabilitation project that's supposed to last until August. Every time I drive through there, I feel like I'm auditioning for an off-road racing team.
MARK: It's charming, isn't it? They're replacing aging water lines and repaving everything. But since they're doing a lot of it at night to 'minimize impact', the residents in those apartments nearby get to enjoy the soothing sounds of jackhammers at 2:00 AM. It's like a lullaby, if your lullaby was performed by a heavy machinery operator named Steve who's had way too much caffeine.
JOLEEN: And the I-10 express lanes project is still humming along. Bridge work on Euclid and Campus is enough to make anyone want to move to the desert, except the desert has its own set of problems. It's just constant noise and vibration. If you live near the freeway, you don't need an alarm clock; the bridge demolition will shake you right out of bed. It's efficient, really.
MARK: Efficiency is the theme of the day. Now, if you're looking for a place to hide from the construction noise, you might want to try Sourdough and Company. They're having their official ribbon cutting tomorrow, March 4th, at 5:00 PM. I went by for a preview, and I've gotta say, their sourdough is actually better than my attitude, which is saying a lot. It's the kind of place where you can feel sophisticated while eating a sandwich in a city that's currently half-paved.
JOLEEN: I'm just glad it's not another chicken place. We've got enough fried bird in this town to start an aviary. But sourdough? That's classy. It's got that tang, just like my commentary. They're part of that whole new wave of businesses trying to make Upland feel like more than just a place you pass through on your way to Claremont. Good luck to them, honestly. They're going to need it once the city starts charging $75 for a ticket to the State of the City event later this month.
MARK: Oh, the State of the City on March 24th. Seventy-five bucks to hear the mayor tell us everything is fine while we sit at Kahramana Restaurant on Foothill. I'm sure the food will be great, but that's a steep price to pay for a PowerPoint presentation and a networking breakfast. I'll just stay home and read the minutes, thanks. I can be cynical for free from my own couch.
JOLEEN: Speaking of Kahramana, that's actually a solid spot. If you haven't been, it's worth checking out before it gets overrun by city officials. But let's talk about the real reason people are stressed in Upland: the housing market. Zillow says the average home value is around $804,000, and it's actually down nearly a percent over the last year. Oh no, my million-dollar shack is now only worth eight hundred thousand. How will I survive?
MARK: It's a tragedy, Joleen. A real heart-breaker. But Movoto has the median list price at $715,000, which is still absolutely insane for anyone who doesn't own a tech company or a small country. Rentals are sitting at an average of twenty-eight hundred a month. Twenty-eight hundred! You could rent a literal castle in some parts of Europe for that, but here, it gets you a two-bedroom apartment near a construction site and a view of the smog.
JOLEEN: But hey, it's a seller's market. Inventory is tight, and homes are going pending in less than a month. It's basically a game of high-stakes musical chairs. If you stop moving, you're stuck paying three grand in rent for the rest of your life. It's the American Dream, Upland style. Just keep swimming, or in this case, just keep signing those thirty-year mortgages and hoping for the best.
MARK: If you're looking to burn off some of that mortgage-induced stress, the sports scene is heating up. The Highlanders baseball team had a game against Jurupa Valley yesterday, and they've got Diamond Bar coming up on Thursday. Our boys are out there in the dirt, and they've finally got that new turf field to play on. Well, 'multi-use' field. I'm sure the football players are thrilled they don't have to dodge gopher holes anymore.
JOLEEN: And the boys' volleyball team is playing Bellflower today, March 3rd. Varsity starts at 4:45 PM. If you want to see some tall kids jumping around and hitting a ball with more precision than the city's budget planning, that's the place to be. It's actually a good time. High school sports are the only thing in this town that consistently delivers on its promises.
MARK: Except for the weather. The weather usually delivers, mostly because it's the same thing every day. Today's going to be a nice 78 degrees with some afternoon clouds. Tomorrow, though, we might actually see some moisture. A 17% chance of 'sprinkles late' on Wednesday. In Southern California, a 17% chance of rain means everyone forgets how to drive and the grocery stores sell out of bread and milk like the apocalypse is coming.
JOLEEN: It's hilarious. You'd think we were living in the Arctic Circle the way people react to a damp windshield. Thursday and Friday are going to cool down into the low 70s and high 60s, which is basically winter for us. Break out the North Face jackets and the Ugg boots, ladies, because 68 degrees is the new freezing. It'll stay mild through the weekend, so you can enjoy the 'Picnic in the Park' or whatever other wholesome activities the city has planned to distract us from the fact that we're broke.
MARK: Don't forget the Upland Irish Festival is coming up on the 13th. That's next week, so get your green gear ready. It's on the main street, and they've got food trucks, music, and a 'touch of tradition'. Which I assume means overpriced beer and someone playing the bagpipes until your ears bleed. I'll be there, obviously, because I'm a sucker for anything that involves a food truck and an excuse to be loud in public.
JOLEEN: It's a great event, but the fees for the vendors are hilarious. Five hundred dollar deposit and 30% of your gross sales? No wonder the tacos cost fifteen bucks. The city's taking its cut, the organizers are taking their cut, and you're left with a napkin and a dream. But hey, it's 'culture'. It's what makes Upland special, or at least that's what the brochure says.
MARK: The brochure is full of lies, Joleen, but they're beautiful lies. Overall, despite the construction, the crime, and the fact that a modest house costs as much as a private island, I still love this place. It's our brand of chaotic, and I wouldn't have it any other way. We've got the mountains, we've got the sourdough, and we've got each other to complain to. What more could you want?
JOLEEN: Maybe a bridge that doesn't vibrate my house? But yeah, I guess you're right. It's home. So, listeners, if you've got a story about a pothole that nearly ate your car or a restaurant we absolutely have to try, hit us up. Like the show, subscribe on whatever platform you're using to ignore your boss, and leave a comment. We read them, especially the mean ones. They fuel our cynical little hearts.
MARK: Reach us at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com. We'll be back next week to talk about the Irish Festival and whatever other nonsense the City Council cooks up in the meantime. Stay gracious, Upland. Or at least try not to flip anyone off on the 210. It's dangerous out there.
JOLEEN: Unless they deserve it. Then flip away. See you next Tuesday, you beautiful assholes.