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The Debrief Podcast with Matthew Stephen Brown. Author and lead pastor of Sandals Church, Matt Brown debriefs current issues shaping our culture from a spiritual perspective.
Welcome to the debrief podcast with Matthew Stephen Brown. On this show, pastor Matt sits down with his friends to answer your questions about life, Jesus, and the bible. Let's get into the episode.
Tammy Brown:Welcome back to this episode of the debrief with Matthew Stephen Brown.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yep. That's what my mama named me.
Tammy Brown:And I'm gonna not do the banter today Alright. Or question for you because I actually really love the questions. Thank you so much to everybody who sends in your questions. It is so fun to see the questions, to see the deep thinking that's happening as you guys are on your own discipleship journey and figuring out what it looks like to follow God. So thank you for those.
Tammy Brown:So first question comes from Vic from Rancho Cucamonga, not too far from us. Can other people's energies affect us spiritually or emotionally?
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yeah. So great question, Vic. And so
Tammy Brown:Such a good question.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yeah. Absolutely. So Mhmm. If you're not a Christian and you're like a new age person or into crystals or yoga, or whatever, right? You're going to use the word energies.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And so certainly as human beings, we have energy. Mean, you can see that through machines. I mean, you can just literally look at the energies that flow through our body. And so kind of like if you're a Matrix fan, they use human beings, and this is a fake movie, but they use human being as batteries to support the robots. They're all coming for us, AI is going kill us.
Tammy Brown:That used to be funny. Yeah.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:It's not funny anymore. Anymore. It's kind
Tammy Brown:of true.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:So yeah, so as human beings we have energies. But what we don't know as Christians is where's my spirit and where is my flesh, and where do the two intersect? And so, you know, like if you pointed to your soul, where is your soul? Like is it in your mind, is it in your body? We went through this when your mom had her organ transplant with her liver.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Tammy's mom's personality changed dramatically when they put the liver from someone else in her body. That's a real thing. I saw it in front of my face. It was real. So where is the soul?
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And what I would say is our bodies are far more integrated with our souls than we think. So remember as Christians, death was not supposed to happen. We were supposed to live forever with God in the garden eating from the tree of life, and then we were banned from the tree of life, and so when that happened, we are condemned to death by sin, and so our bodies slowly decay, and without the tree of life that God made, we die. So we were not made to be separate from our bodies. We were made to be integrated, and so one of the things you need to remember as a Christian, and if you're a new Christian, so there's this beautiful verse in first Corinthians that says, do you not know that your bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit?
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:So not only are our bodies spiritual, but our bodies are this interdimensional place where heaven and earth connect and God dwells. So that's what the temple is in first century Judaism. Now we don't think that way. We don't think interdimensional. So there's heaven, right, which is separate from earth, and the temple in Jerusalem was this interdimensional place where God intervened and connected with people.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:It's where heaven and earth came together. And now as Christians, our bodies are that, so the Holy Spirit resides in us. So what I would say is energies are very real, and people can have good energies or bad energies. I would say that's non Christian language, but what I would say spiritually is they could have demonic manifestations or not. So these are not just energies within, but spiritual realities that come upon them.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And so we see this all the time when Jesus encounters what we would call a negative energy, he speaks to it and he calls it out. And so absolutely, yes. And I think we need to be very, very careful with our own energies. That's why the Bible says, this is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:I'm going to wake up in the morning, and I'm going to submit myself to the fact that God is good, he's in control, and he loves me, and so I'm going live like that. And so I would just say, if you don't believe in energies, go to a sports sporting event. When your team is winning, there's this energy. There's just, there's something powerful.
Tammy Brown:Or when they're losing,
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:right? So when they're losing, it's just dead in the place. And so if we go back to the Tower Of Babel in the book of Genesis, right? God comes down, sends his angels, and he says there's nothing these people can't do when they're all connected. But it's not nothing they can't do for good, it's nothing that they're going to do for evil.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And so people have this energy about them, and it's contagious. Like when you're around somebody that's positive, that's
Tammy Brown:That's what I was gonna say. Could you intertwine the word energies for like mood even though?
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Sure. Absolutely.
Tammy Brown:Because that's the thing, it's like when you're around somebody that's super negative all the time, like, you tend to become more negative or discouraged. Or there's people who who have such a joyous mood that's infectious as well, that
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:just Yeah. So think about David and Saul. So when Saul in one Samuel, I think it's 16, you guys can put that in the show notes from the wrong chapter, know, God says that he sent an evil spirit to torment him. The first thing that changes in Saul is his mood. And so they bring in David who plays the harp who calms him.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:So we just need to know that evil things can bring us down. So the gospel is good news, Satan's message is bad news. It's always bad news. You're not good enough. You're not beautiful.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:You're never going to make it. There's nothing good about you. You know, that's where Satan lives. That's his energies. And so I don't think we need to be what's the word we heard learned the other day, toxically optimistic?
Tammy Brown:Positive. Toxic positivity.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Toxic positivity. So what we mean by that is people that aren't real. They're just, you know, I'm not talking about being fake, but we have to be careful because our mood can manifest our reality. So if I'm in a bad mood, I can manifest a bad day. If I'm in a good mood, I can manifest a better day.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And so when I'm coming to church and I'm discouraged and I'm depressed and I'm upset or I'm anxious, I can come in believing God's going to speak. Can come in believing that God's going to show I can come in anticipating that God is going to say something to me because he's good and he's already delivered me, and I'm going to hear something good. No matter what's going on in my life, I'm going to hear something good. And so I just would say, we have to be careful because there are just some people, you you and I are, we used to watch Saturday Night Live when we were younger, and you remember Debbie Downer. No matter what the news, Debbie Downer's character on Saturday Night Live, she would bring it down.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:You know, like, oh, we're pregnant. She'd like, 14.3 of kids have a genetic condition that threatens their life, you're just like, womp womp womp. And we got to be careful. So we want to surround ourselves with positive people, encouraging people, people that want the best for you and that celebrate you. Now, I'll put a little asterisk there, we also want people that are real.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:You know? Because we've all seen American Idol where they're surrounded by a whole family that says you can do it, and it's like, I'm sorry honey, you can't sing. My goodness. So we do need people that are real with us, but are real in such a way that they can help us find our God given unique strength. And so I would just say that that energies are a real thing.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And you can feel that, but I just, we got to be careful as Christians that we don't just use the word energies. I think we need to use the word spirit, because we live in a spiritual reality. And so that's the word that we use to describe energies. So energies is a word that non Christians, new age, people that are into crystals and stuff would use. And I think we're describing things that we see, but where they would say it's energies, and so what they mean by that is it's non personal, spirits are very personal.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And so that's why I think it's so important as Christians that we use the word spiritual, and you could even marry those two words together and say, hey, there's a negative spiritual energy to that person. So that's how I would marry those two terms. And why is that important? So that your non Christian friends understand what you mean. So if you just, if you had a bunch of non Christian friends, you said, yeah, they have a negative spirit, that might not mean anything, but if you said they have a negative spiritual energy, I think that that would communicate the truth.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And so it's important that we use the word spirit, because the devil is personal and he is real. And one of the things that he tries to get us to believe is that he's not real. So absolutely, you know, be so intentional about that. And when you come to church, come with a good spirit, come with a good energy, come believing that God's gonna do something great. Because there's nothing worse than coming out and preaching to a room with no energy.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Like they're just the spirit of God is just left. So, you know, it's it's hard enough to preach, be a person that's ready to hear, and ready to listen, and and excited about
Tammy Brown:gonna say about people's energies too is that a lot of us are so hyper aware of the energy that other people bring and maybe aren't as aware sometimes of the energy we bring.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Right.
Tammy Brown:And so many people and even in my own life, there's been seasons where I've just had such a critical spirit or a depressed spirit or a negative spirit. And I'm bringing that into my relationships and it repels people, but then I found myself lonely. Or I've had that with other people where you just see, like, they don't understand why they can't find good friends or a relationship or they're not invited to things. It's just like nobody wants to be around you because of just this this energy that you bring. And so it's just interesting to think about, like, how do we become real about the energy that we're bringing this season that we're in?
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yeah. Think you have to have a community that loves you, because we all have blind spots. You have them, I have them. I can't tell you how many times people ask me what's wrong, and now I'm not even realizing Right. What my face
Tammy Brown:I don't think people realize Yeah. The energy they bring to the room, and it it just really affects Yeah. People around you. Good energy, good like spirit joy is so infectious. Mhmm.
Tammy Brown:And then negative energy and negative spirit, it just it's so it just repels people so much.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Absolutely. Great great question. Question. You know, and and truth is we just we like hanging around people who are positive. And remember, the gospel's good news.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:We are ambassadors of good news. The world is full of bad news, and so if you think of Romans twelve:two, do not be conformed to the image of this world. So that word conforming in the Greek language is a you and I were talking about all the Greek verbs and tenses, and so it's
Tammy Brown:a Wow, you were.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yeah, sorry, on the way But it's a present active verb. And so what that means is when you and I wake up in the morning, the world is always conforming us. And if we don't resist it, we have been conformed. That's what Paul is saying. And so what we do is we offer our bodies up as a living sacrifice daily to push against that.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And one of the things that we got to do is we got to remember there's good news. No matter how bad the news is on the news, we know the ending. Revelation tells us God wins, we're good, there's a new heaven, there's a new earth. And
Tammy Brown:And there is purpose in all things. Like even in failures, there's something that we're learning to take into that next season, something that makes us empathetic to something else. And so even even in the negative things in our life, you don't have to just become this negative energy for the rest of your life. Yeah. It's such a good question.
Tammy Brown:K. This next question comes from Redlands, California from Roman. This question I just think was so brave. So, Roman, before Matt even gets into dealing with it, I think it's such a a brave question that's gonna help so many people. So thank you for sending this in.
Tammy Brown:It says, in a previous season of my life, I was involved in casual sexual relationships, and I've been wondering, how do I break any spiritual ties that may have come from that? I wanna walk in freedom and wholeness, and I'm not sure how to fully surrender that area to God or what steps to take spiritually.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yeah. Roman, this is a great question. And so what I would say is you're a Christian that's growing, and the Holy Spirit is moving in your life. And here's the thing, when we have sex with someone, there are ties. Mhmm.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:So the purpose of sex, right, is to make two one. That's the purpose. And so those things do need to be broken. And we can break those in a couple of ways. One is we can just confess to God and say, God, I've done these things.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:I need you to cleanse this. I need you to remove the enemy's power and hold over my life in this. And you can literally go like King James, Lord, I pray the blood of Jesus over this. I want you to cover this. I've made this mistake.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:I've I've connected in this way, and and I believe that will work. For some of us though, there's what I would call strongholds. So, right? I'm gonna use the word there's a hold, and then there's a stronghold. So a stronghold is not just, hey, had sex with this person and I messed up.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:A stronghold is this sexual encounter has a hold on me, and so there's a connection that I can't break. And so we see this a lot of times with people with same sex attraction, we see this with people with sex addiction, we see this with people that have had an affair and messed up, and they cannot believe that they're forgiven. And so what the devil says is your sin is greater than Jesus' sacrifice. That's what the devil says. And so then what we need is we need to do what's called the deep healing, where we come in and we speak to the enemy.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:We kick him out, and we say, you have no power here, the blood of Jesus is greater than you are, and and and we send him away. And we have to preach that, and and sometimes as Christians, the hardest person to preach the gospel to is ourselves. Mhmm. And so we can't believe maybe something that we've done by ourselves in a hotel room, or with a person, or we can't believe we've fallen again, and that's where we just have to come back to Jesus and say, okay, I need to break this stronghold. And a lot of Christians, Roman, you know, we're forgiven by Jesus.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:We are not forgiven by a priest. We're not forgiven by, you know, going to anybody, but we are healed. And that's why James five sixteen says, Are any of among you sick? Are any of you sinning? Confess your sins one to another.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Listen to these words so that you may be healed and whole. And so what we do is we look each other in the face, and we say, hey, I did this, and I need forgiveness. And so like for example, if I was sinning sexually, maybe I was looking at pornography, and I couldn't break free from it, and I'd confessed it to my men's group. I had sought counseling. One of the things I would need to do is confess to you.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:I would need to look in your face, because I would know how much that would hurt you, and how much that would disappoint you. But right? Intimacy in our marriage, and I don't just mean sexual intimacy, but emotional and spiritual intimacy, us being right again, actually preaches wholeness.
Tammy Brown:Mhmm.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:So it actually demonstrates. And that's why if you're not married, you need to confess to a good friend or a pastor that you love and respect. Mhmm. Because so here's what Satan does. Satan says that if I confess this, then I'll be separate from our community.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:I'll be cast out. That's the enemy. And so we lie and we hide. What the gospel says, Noah, is we confess that we remain in community, and we remain in intimacy with with our our our local church and our friends, and we say, hey guys, I don't wanna confess this, but I did. And so so what I would say, is it a stronghold or is it just something in your past?
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:But you know, sex was something that I would say for me as a young man when I gave my life to Christ, you know, I was smoking weed, drinking, those things were easy for me to kick. The the the sexual issue, just because I was a young man, was the most challenging for me, and it was the thing that I had to break. I remember when your mom found my bible from harvest with the the confession, and it was so embarrassing. I think it was like, Lord help me with my battle with lust, and Tammy's mom's like, who's struggling with lust? I'm like, I don't know.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:I don't know. It was my bible.
Tammy Brown:Oh my god.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:I'm like, I don't know who that is. You know? But I needed to be able to tell you and say, hey, I feel like this is just such a huge problem for me. And I certainly didn't want to confess that to your mom. That wouldn't have been inappropriate.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:I mean, that wouldn't have been appropriate, but but I probably could have talked to your dad about it. I think your dad was a great guy.
Tammy Brown:I was gonna say this topic brings me up to something we talk about so much. It's like when we started the church, we were so about being real. Like, I just am gonna be real. I'm gonna be real with everybody about everything
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yeah.
Tammy Brown:Which was not a good idea.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:No. You don't tell everyone everything.
Tammy Brown:And here's what we found out. Not everyone's a good receiver
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yes.
Tammy Brown:Of real. And we use that language so much of being a receiver of real, which actually is a real, tool that each of us need to hone. It's like something we need to learn. How do you receive when someone is real with you? Because what happens in that exchange is everything where that wholeness is found.
Tammy Brown:You know, if you're real with me about something you need to share because it has a stronghold, and I reject you, I shame you, everything like, when you're putting it out there, everything about the handling in that exchange matters. Mhmm. Because if I squash it, what did that just tell you? I can never be real about anything Yeah. Anywhere ever again.
Tammy Brown:And that's where the enemy just takes ground in your life. It's like, see? I told you. I told you if you were real, I told you if you were confessed, you'd be separate, you'd be rejected, you'd be shamed. And what God wants to do is forgive, and I think it's such an important thing for Christians to not just think about what it's like when they need a safe place to be real Mhmm.
Tammy Brown:But to be a safe place to be real, to know how to handle it. And if you don't, I mean, we have so much resources on that. But just like, how how do I hand the first words out of my mouth, the look on my face, there's so many nuances to being a receiver of real.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Mhmm.
Tammy Brown:Because who am I to judge it? You know? But I get to be a part in what I would consider such holy ground in you being free from that stronghold.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yeah.
Tammy Brown:You know, knowing that God forgave me of my things. Because what I think what we do, I do this. I think what Christians tend to do is, like, my stuff is better than your stuff. Like, I mess up, but like Yeah. Like, we've come up with, like, what stuff's worse than other stuff.
Tammy Brown:Yeah. But at the end of the day, it's all our sin that separates us from God. And so I just wanna put in everybody's mind right now to think on the idea of, are you a good receiver of real? Are you a safe place for other people to be real? Do you think that other people's stuff is worse than your stuff?
Tammy Brown:Because, like, there's such a powerful part of being in the exchange of someone being real. And to to think about what what do I want when I'm real with somebody? Mhmm. Like, what do I need? You know, I need someone that's just gonna understand how heavy it is, how courageous it was, how scary it was to, like, share whatever I'm about to share
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yeah.
Tammy Brown:And then, like, really work on being that for somebody else. Being a receiver of real, I just you know I get so,
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:like Amen. Yeah. Amen. Passion about that. I would say specifically, Roman, I would, you know, if this is really holding you down, would write on a piece of paper all of these people that you've had sex with, if you can remember them.
Tammy Brown:Mhmm.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And then I would do two things. I would, number one, ask God to forgive you of that encounter. Mhmm. And then two, I would pray for that person. I would pray for them, and say, Lord, help them.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:So, you know, one of the things that was really hard for me is, you know, when we went back from my ten year high school reunion, which was long ago, I called it the apology tour. Had to go back, here's what I didn't want Roman, I didn't want people to associate my sin that they knew about with the gospel I preached. And I wanted them to know I was a changed person. So what I had to do is I had to go confess that to them and say, hey, just wanted you to know, and that was so important. And so so I would write down their name, ask God to forgive you for the act, and then I would pray for that person that they would be delivered.
Tammy Brown:Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Okay. Final question for today comes from Kirby in San Bernardino.
Tammy Brown:Super interesting question that we get asked quite often privately, so I'm really excited to address that on the show today. But do Christians believe in soulmates? Can we miss out on the person, the person God has for us? Does he give other opportunities to meet someone? That's the first part of the question.
Tammy Brown:Yeah. Let's start there, and then I'll finish I'll finish the the rest of it.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:So so the question is a little nuanced here, Kirby. So do Christians believe in soulmates? Many do. I mean, I hear it all the time. Matter of fact, when I googled this, it was interesting.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:I found so many pastors that I love and appreciate and respect answering this very question, and why is that? Because many Christians do believe in soulmates. But just because Christians believe in soulmates does not mean it's a biblical idea. So can we miss out on the person that God has for us? So there's a lot of nuance here.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:So number one, do Christians believe in soulmates? Yes. Should they? I don't think so. There's really only one book in the Bible that seems to indicate that this might be true, and it's not in our Christian Bibles, it's in a Catholic Bible.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:So when you read me this question, or we were talking about this question before the show, so in, if you're a Catholic person, you have seven extra books in your Bibles. So we have 66 books in ours as evangelical Christians, or Protestant Christians, and then Catholics have what's called an additional seven. It's apocryphal books, or what's called extra deuteronomical or canonical books. And so Catholics don't believe that they're equal to scripture, but they're just underneath, but they do believe that they're inspired enough that they should be in the scripture. So there's seven of those books, and one of those books is a book called Tobit.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:It's a freaky book, I remember the first time I read it. You don't have to read it, I read it. But it's this story of this guy named Tobit, and he's a faithful Jewish person who lives in Nineveh, so you think about the story of Jonah and Nineveh. He lives in Nineveh, and he's got a couple of challenges. Number one, he's blind.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Number two, he's broke. Number three, his daughter's crazy. So he has this daughter.
Tammy Brown:Poor
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:guy. Yeah, named Sarah, and she, every time she gets married, right before the honeymoon, a demon kills the husband. So a lot of Christians have never heard this story. She's married seven times seven times a demon, and the demon has a name in it, I can't remember the demon's name. So it kills these guys before she has sex with them.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:So This
Tammy Brown:is like a serious Dateline episode.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yeah. Right. So this woman's got some issues. So anyways, this angel, and for anyone who loves Ninja Turtles, his name is Raphael, so he's not just a Ninja Turtle, he's also an archangel. Raphael is sent by God because Tobit is praying for healing and for a miracle.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And so Raphael the angel, I'm not making this up, this is a real story. Raphael comes alongside and leads them on this journey, and marries, and brings Tobias and Sarah together. And here's what Raphael the angel says, that it was determined before eternity that you two would be together. Boom, that's the verse. So a lot of Catholics like Reich have run with that verse, and they say, because in this instance, God had a specific plan for Tobias and Sarah, God has a specific plan for me.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Do you see the problem? Mhmm. It just indicates that in that story that's what God was doing for them. So do I believe that Christians have soulmates? No.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:But his next question, can we miss out on the person that God has for us? Yes. Are they a Christian? Are you equally suited? Do you have the same mission?
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Do you have the same purpose, right? So I think that there's a list of qualities that you should be looking for. There's not a specific person. And here's why, here's why I think theologically we don't say we have a soulmate. Like I love you, you're so great.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:I actually feel like our marriage is just really getting good, we've been together almost thirty years. I feel like we've really worked hard for our marriage. But if you're my soulmate, here's what I'm saying, you complete me. Now why is that dangerous? Because what my soul needs is not you, what my soul needs is God.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:God completes me. And so what we're doing is marriage is a great thing, you're an amazing woman, you are a gift from God to me, but you are not what completes me. What my soul is missing is not a wife. What my soul is missing is God. And the thing that completes me is God.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And so what happens is when we take a good thing like marriage and we make it a God thing, it becomes an idol. Mhmm. And so a lot of people are saying I'm searching for my soul Well, soul mate is Jesus Christ. He's the only one who can complete you. He's the only one that can fill the gap that's inside your heart.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:It's not a person, they cannot do that. Your heart is too broken. Now, a wife or a spouse, a husband is a good thing, but it's not a God thing. And so that's why I would say theologically, that's why I would say I don't believe that it's biblical. And then secondary, there's no verse in the Bible other than what I've just quoted to you.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:I think it's Tobias or Tobit six seventeen or six eighteen, but remember I'm dyslexic, I could have flipped those. So can we miss out on the person that God has for you? Yes. By dating someone who's not a Christian, by dating someone who's not compatible with you, by dating someone who's not doesn't have the same purpose Just because they're Christian and they go to your church doesn't mean they're a good candidate, right? So
Tammy Brown:Would you say this, that you could a way you could miss out on that person is by a lifestyle too?
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Meaning Yeah. Sure.
Tammy Brown:You know, because I've just seen people that like live a crazy lifestyle, whatever that is, and then they meet the person and that other person's like, I'm actually not okay with that. Like, here's some standards I had for my own life Yeah. Small things. And so, like, there's just some
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yeah. No. Absolutely. And that's what I mean by luck. Yeah.
Tammy Brown:To that of just
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yeah. Absolutely. So then he says also why does Christian culture or church culture do we not usually see single person events or ministry? We have had those, so Kirby, and it's it's difficult for a couple reasons. Number one, we've had guys that are predatory, and they've been a part of single ministry, and they've done great harm to the women in this church, and that's frustrating to me.
Tammy Brown:Well, we've also had a few women
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yeah, and women. Like that. Yeah. Yeah. But mostly dudes.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:I mean, she's right. There's been some women who've been I'm just doing this. But But it's been mostly dudes. And so here's the thing about singles ministry. People ask for it and then when we do it, they don't show.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Because there's this weird thing with
Tammy Brown:I don't wanna see desperate or
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:needy or and so it's just a really hard thing to start. I'm not opposed to it if we had some great leaders who wanted to do it. It's just been very difficult to sustain. I think that marriage ministry is easier to sustain because we all know we're broken, and and we're not we're not worried to say it.
Tammy Brown:But I would say there's a lot of ministry for singles to be part of this.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:It's not
Tammy Brown:called singles ministry, and that that has been in our twenty eight, almost twenty nine years Right. At Samples Church, that has been the thing where people ask for it, we plan things, and then it's a no show. Yeah. And that's just but but we have so many different ministries Right. For single people to be a part of that married people are also a part of.
Tammy Brown:There's so many. So I wouldn't say we're not doing things. We're just not we're not having specific mixer ministries for single people to find people to date.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Well, yeah. And we've tried it. So Yeah. He said everything usually is heavily focused on married people, and I would just say, Kirby, I think that this question proves that that's not true. Because we're taking time out not to answer a married question, but a single And so this show, my sermons, everything is based upon what you guys are asking or what the text says.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:So when the text in Matthew speaks to single people, we're gonna speak to that. When it speaks to marriage, we're gonna speak to that. But it all speaks to Christians. And so what I would say is I think sometimes singles feel left out, but that's not necessarily the case. It's just we love you, some of our good friends in our small group are single people.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:We love them, we appreciate them, they're a part of our family, And it's not God's will for you to be married, it's God's will for you to follow him. And the Apostle Paul specifically speaks to that. And he says, Kirby, I wish that you were all like I am. And he's single. So that's where the Catholic church has taken that, right?
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And they've gone the other way where they forbid marriage for leadership positions, which I think is a real mistake. And that's not to put down Catholics, it's just to say I have a theological difference of opinion there. We have our own issues in Protestantism, because you can pay a single guy less money than you do a guy with a family. So it's just a reality. It's not right, but it is part of the reason.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Catholic priests, when you look at the scale, make the least amount of money. And that's just because they don't have families, they don't have kids, oftentimes they're not even allowed to have mortgages. So it is interesting. But that's my answer for that. Kirby, I'll be praying for you, and I would just say I think if you have a desire to be married, then if you pray and you trust God, I think God will provide someone for you.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Just be careful that you're not looking for a soulmate, because I think that's perfection, is what you're really saying, is I want the perfect spouse. And Tammy's great, she's not perfect. I try to be great, I'm not perfect. And a lot of single people, I think they just have ridiculous standards, and some of that's online dating, it just is, right? I mean, when you and I were dating, you had like four choices, you know what I'm saying?
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:I mean, I was not comparing Tammy to every woman my age within
Tammy Brown:a
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:With
Tammy Brown:filters on.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:Yeah, with filters on. I mean, but it just wasn't there was only so many fish in the pond, which actually I think made dating easier. Now it's like a what's that restaurant I hate? Cheesecake Factory. I want In N Out Burger.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:You know, meal number one, two, or three, and so now you just have when we go to Cheesecake Factory, you know, I just I lose myself.
Tammy Brown:Don't go to Cheesecake Factory and this is why. The menu overwhelms you.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:The menu is overwhelming. It's just like, look.
Tammy Brown:How can you have every choice at one restaurant? You just doesn't seem right.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:There's something going on.
Tammy Brown:Thank you for the questions. Yeah. Thank you guys so much for listening and watching this episode of The Debrief. On that note, we have some pretty fun news that we hit how many weeks?
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:A hundred thousand on YouTube. YouTube. So thank you for everybody who watches on YouTube.
Tammy Brown:On YouTube. I appreciate watching. Yeah.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown:And now you're gonna give Tammy a panic attack for how she looks.
Tammy Brown:So No. I'm like, the day I didn't do my hair. But also, you guys, we just value so much. It's not lost on us that you choose to listen and submit these questions. Hopefully, we do our best to try to answer them for you to just come alongside you as you are following Jesus.
Tammy Brown:So please watch it, like it. If any of these questions seem like they're meaningful to someone in your life, share this episode. And until next time, we'll see you later.
Scott Schutte:Thanks for checking out this episode. If you'd like to support this podcast, you can donate at give.sc. This podcast is a way for pastor Matt Brown to answer your questions about topics like the Bible, God, relationships, and culture. Like pastor Matt often says on the show, a podcast is not a pastor. If you'd like prayer or need to speak with someone about a specific situation you were going through, you can email us at help@sandalschurch.com.
Scott Schutte:If you enjoy this podcast, please like, comment, and subscribe. Thanks for being a debrief listener.