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”Spiritual Awakening with Shaz” is your gateway to unlocking your inner potential and navigating the transformative journey of self-discovery. Join Shaz, a seasoned life coach, spiritual mentor, and psychic medium, as she shares powerful insights, practical techniques, and inspiring stories to help you tap into your intuition and manifest your best life. Each episode offers a blend of spiritual wisdom and actionable advice, designed to elevate your consciousness and empower you to overcome life’s challenges. Whether you’re just beginning your spiritual journey or seeking to deepen your practice, Shaz provides the guidance you need to shine your light and embrace your true purpose. Let’s delve into the world of Spirituality, Intuition, Energy Healing, Feng Shui, Manifestation and Magic. Episodes will be released weekly. So grab a cuppa, settle in and join us on a journey of Discovery into your Inner Self.
Welcome back to the Spiritual Awakening podcast. This week I celebrated a birthday. Now, birthdays for me normally are not the joyous occasions that most people love to celebrate them with. For many years, and especially throughout my childhood, they always seem to just come with disharmony, loneliness, hurt and pain. And this was a pattern that I created in my life around birthdays, simply because when I was born, I was unwanted and it was made very well known to me throughout my childhood, and that pattern stuck with me. So birthdays never were the celebration, the full joy that most people experienced even when I was little. I remember my first birthday party when I was five, and there's a picture of me sitting on the floor on my knees, opening my presents, wearing a party hat. And I look at that picture and I think, oh, that's so cute. And two minutes later, there's the screaming that I can hear of. I didn't do this right, or something was wrong and this shouldn't have happened. So chaos and. Catastrophe just seemed to follow every birthday. And then it continued on. The next birthday I had was when I was 12, and I don't fully remember what exactly happened on that day. But I do remember running out of my own house, leaving my birthday, and leaving the house. I walked away from everyone inside of it because I just could not be punished or bullied anymore. So this pattern just set me up. My 16th birthday, more drama, my 18th birthday. I chose to make it really good for me. I took a cruise for my 18th birthday and went and celebrated it, but even that turned into some little bits of ups and downs. The probably biggest and best sort of birthday that I had was my 21st, and we had a party that day. There was lots of greatness at the party, but the lead up to it, I remember the shouting, the fighting, the disappointment. There are this such hard work and I was too demanding or I was wanting this. Half my family was good and the other half was bad. And as we get older, I can't tell you how many times that people in my own family don't even remember my birthday. A few years ago, when I turned 40, which is now 13 years ago, I decided that I wanted to change my birthdays and I was going to make them more about me, my version of what they were, and put energy into it. And I really tried to make them happier and experienced them in different ways. And I had moments of ups and downs, so they were good for things, but they always seemed to be some disappointment, some thing that didn't work out some way, that it showed up differently, some sadness behind it, and that becomes a learned response, right? So for years and years, I always would brace for disappointment. I would pray and hope and wish that people would show up differently, that things would be better. And. That it would be just a celebration, a joyous occasion, and sometimes it didn't. And for many years, and even to today on different aspects, I'd feel lonely and subtle jealousy or tension from people. But this year I decided I was not going to experience any of that. The day before my birthday, I spent a whole afternoon reviewing the past year, looking at all the great things that I achieved in the past 12 months. I celebrated all my achievements, my growth, my inner healing, the things I let go. The changes I'd made within myself. And I discovered more about my own identity, of who I am and what I'm becoming. And I sat with her and I just enjoyed quietness while watching Sunday football and my footy team won, which made it even better. But in those quiet moments, I really reviewed what did I want in life? Who am I and what are the expectations I have around people? And so going into Monday, I woke up with this beautiful intention of I was having lunch with a dear friend. Now my friend turned up late and that could normally set me off. But while I was waiting, I just got out. I did some weeding in the garden and I sat in the sunshine. I just embraced and embodied the day. And I sat there thinking, what are the things that I want to move forward? What are the aspects of self? What are the growth things that I want to do? I got out my trusty journal and I wrote in it what my intentions were and how I wanted to show up for this next year. Then my friend turned up with her little puppy and we went out for lunch. We went and did a bit of shopping. We come back, sat in the sunshine. One of the neighbors was washing cars, so I was jokingly asking him if he would wash my car for me. And he did. And I just had this beautiful, blessed day. In the evening I went and joined friends. I play poker and we hung out and we had. Fun. They gave me some gifts and a card and a beautiful message, and my heart was so full of joy, appreciation and acceptance. Now, if you ever feel lonely, have a birthday on Facebook, right? I had over 300 messages, comments and interactions like my DMs went off all day. I get a lot of DMs for different reasons throughout the day usually, but I reckon I had 50 DMs. I had over 3 to 400 messages on Facebook. Then there were stuck on Instagram, LinkedIn and all the other places, even on TikTok. I've got a couple of birthday wishes, but the other big difference was normally I don't tell people it's my birthday, but this year I did because I wanted to celebrate me. I wanted to celebrate the fact that I stopped expecting the worst on the day. I stopped preparing for it to go wrong, and I stopped waiting to be chosen, to be acknowledged by people. That didn't matter. I acknowledge myself. I chose me and I put myself first. I became the center of that day in the way I wanted to. I chose the people I spent it with. I contacted all the ones that I wanted, and I sat and read every heartfelt message, and I literally felt it in my being. This outpouring of love, of joy, of celebration, of acknowledgment. It was magic. But that magic could only be felt because I opened myself up to receive. Now, do I want to say that in the years gone by? People didn't offer to give me joy that they didn't show up for me. But that joy always got outweighed by the negative, because that's where I'd focus, because that was what I was used to. That was my normal behavior. But this year, I just chose something different. And I have to tell you, it was the most blessed, beautiful day and some of the gorgeous things that I received in words, in comments, in little video, short messages and little voice memos were so heartfelt and beautiful. They made me truly acknowledge that I am blessed beyond repair, like I am so surrounded by beautiful, gorgeous people in my life. And that's the choice that I made by who I've become. And I honor who I've become and the identity that I empower and show up as to know that I attract that vibe of people. This year, I didn't choose to close off. I didn't choose to shut down. I didn't choose to hide, I didn't wait, I didn't judge, I didn't wait for anyone. I just woke up happy. I decided that this year my birthday would be beautiful. And it was. And this whole week is turning out that way. I have had highly abundant experiences. I've had beautiful blessings, unexpected invites to join things, and communication with people that's been unexpected and overtly received with compassion and love and bliss. It's the only way I can describe it because I am surrounded by people that are aligned. I did things that let me up. And my finances are tight. So none of these things that I did or experience had anything to do with money. I never received many gifts. A couple of my friends bought me something, but I've never considered birthdays about the gifts. I would much rather are text, an SMS, or a message to know that you're thinking of me on that day. To know that I take up that little space in your heart or your head of acknowledgement. That's my only wish in the world. I have desires to make the world a better place for me being in it. And if my presence in your life has that impact where you think gracious things about me, my job is done. And I didn't realize. But that is true emotional maturity. I've grown. I've finally come to understand what was important to me. I have not once focused on the people that didn't message me. I spent a moment in little piece acknowledging my godmother because over the years, she was always the one person that did message me and send me a birthday card. And one year she didn't because she was quite unwell and I was devastated. But it made me reach out and reconnect with her and follow up on my own. Connection and making sure I always kept in contact with her. It made us even closer knowing that my birthday card didn't come that year. Not as a disappointment because I was truly worried that something was wrong with her, and it was only due to the fact that she was ill. But that shift and I didn't blame her. Ever. I just worried that something wasn't right. And that made me more caring, more compassionate, because it took something away from being about me and of neglect or misery for self, into being more aware and conscious about being concerned about somebody else at the same time. So when I sat in my meditation, I connect with my grandmother in spirit and my godmother, my twins and my cousins, children and everyone beautiful that comes along. I was still up after midnight on the Sunday night, and I get these smoky smell sometimes, and I know my nan comes by because she used to smoke cigarettes. And I'm like, hey man, how are you doing? And my first message was I love you shares. Happy birthday. Have a blessed day. So even before going to bed, I'd had wishes and acceptance and acknowledgement of who I am. And those things matter. Because the first thing that I finally chose to do this year is I stopped handing the outcome of my birthday to anyone else. It was mine. Now, I do this in all areas of my life, in my business, in my relationships, in my friendships, and in life in general. I have taken the lead in everything. I am the controller, the driver, the chooser in my life. I choose who I'm available for and what I'm available for. I choose where I'm going and who I'm going to be with. I choose the people that I surround myself with. I choose the energy that I tolerate and the behavior that I'll accept and won't accept. And I choose the rooms and places that I will enter. Now that's beautiful self leadership. And not many people are able to do that. And my one hope and wish in this world is that you find your own inner belief in self, the worth of self, the love of self. So you too can choose happiness every single day. You can choose what you accept, what you receive, what you wish for, and then you allow it to be. Can I honestly say that all my birthdays were terrible? Plenty were. But at the same time, in rejection of myself, I really rejected other people's desire to be something for me because I wasn't able to feel it. Now, opening myself up to my emotions and really working on the inner heart, the bliss inside, the joy, the happiness, the gratitude, the appreciation, the heartfelt tingles that I got from each and every message. Because as I read and reply to each one, their image popped into my face and I just felt love and acceptance and acknowledgement. And that means so much more than anything else. Now. This day was not surrounded by a birthday party. I didn't have millions of people. I just had the most precious ones to me around. And not everyone was able to see me personally on that day. But everyone that mattered reached out to me and I felt it, and I continued to do so. And the big thing that changed in myself in all of this is not once did I ever expect or was willing to receive disappointment. Mishaps happen. Yes, they did, but I just refused to acknowledge them because they didn't matter. What mattered was how I felt, how I chose to acknowledge myself, how I showed up for myself. The big mindset shift of this was about me. And if you're not about me too, then you don't matter. And that doesn't mean that I'm dismissive of anybody else. Okay? Things get in the way. I'm not the center of the universe, and I don't expect everyone to drop everything because it's my birthday. I'm just not that self-centered or selfish. And I'm not saying that if you do that, you are. It's just the way that I perceive it. But what changed within me was my own expectation and my behavior. And the fact that over the past 3 to 5 years, I have worked so hard on the energy of receiving, of feeling things from other people, of expecting outcomes that I know that I want, of knowing my manifestation works, knowing that my desires are always delivered to me and truly receiving it with graciousness, gratitude, appreciation. Not just the spiritual fluff. The true psychology of knowing how worthy I am and of how other people see me. Now, depending on how you go in this world. I realize that everyone does things different and has acceptance of things in different ways, and they're just as important. And I look at myself in my own behavior of I acknowledge all my dear friends birthdays and on Facebook. I don't go and message every single person because unfortunately, I don't have that much time to do it. But I do look out for certain names and if I'm sending a birthday wish, it's not just a moment of I'll press a button. Here it is. Off you go. I actually send energy and thoughts and wishes and that energy matters because emotion and frequency is felt in this world. It's the same as this morning I read a post from someone and they've just gotten ill. And my first thought anytime someone says that they're struggling or someone's going through something, is to call an army of angels and send it to them. And part of this change is knowing that in me I choose to send love. I choose to send gratitude. I have great wishes for everybody and I wasn't always like that. So this was something in a new behavior and a new ritual and a new aspect of self that I've learnt over the years. And it surprises me how much from learning that that I'm watching and seeing other people mimic it in the same way and have the same thought process. We can be quite dismissive of other people, but we never know what they're going through. And I always want to be just that one little voice that can help if they can, and if I can offer service in some way that I can show up in what that is, because we all don't need to dread the big things like birthdays and holidays and anniversaries, family events, social gatherings because you live them from old wounds. Now, not only was my birthday one of the loneliest and unhappiest aspects of my life for many years, but so was New Year's Eve, and that is something that consciously, I've overturned over the last few years too. And sometimes I still spend it all alone. But I'm never lonely in my own company, and that is the one big thing that I never fully realized. I am comfortable with myself, not surrounded by other people. I am just as happy by myself without feeling alone, isolated, depressed, upset, anxious. None of those feelings occur when I'm in my sovereign self. Because I have acceptance. And that changes everything. It changed the way of me thinking of I hope other people treat me better, or do this for me, or show up for me, or be that for me. Because I had no intention over who was going to come for my birthday, except the people that I'd already organized to spend the day with. And the rest was just literally the icing on the cake. Because I decided how I show up, what I tolerate and who gets access. And I can tell you a lot of that come from all of the processes, tools and everything that I learned that I now teach in my Shining Shadows program. And I don't find it ironic. I find it highly synchronistic that this week is the week where I'm relaunching shine, because I value the energy and the effort I get back from it. And some of the most beautiful, heartfelt messages that I received on my birthday are from people that have been through my shine course, are from the women's lives, who have transformed and changed, and who acknowledge and accept who they are. And on top of that, there are all my beautiful clients that come back and give me feedback. And a lot of these people I may have only read for once, but to see those comments and to know the impact that you have in helping them through their dark times, helping them be compassionate and being something for someone when they need it, fills my cup. There is an old fashioned adage that says, like, whatever's inside you will bubble out. And I really started to notice what happens when I get upset or I get frustrated. And nowadays, when something bad sort of happens, what bubbles out is understanding and compassion and the thought process of what are they going through? That's about them. That's not about me, because I don't look at it as a tack like I used to. I don't look at it as the world is out to get me. That was a mindset. I used to have it come at me. Is that the best that you've got? And I shifted that thing out of the way because I was sick of beating the drum, of adversity, of hardship, of struggle, of having to be strong and resilient. And I started walking my talk and living in bliss and knowing and demanding and commanding happiness, joy. Love. Gratitude. Acceptance. Intention. And the best part is it brings about trust in the world. My birthdays were horrid because I didn't trust the world and experience it showed me the way. But it doesn't have to remain that way. We can flip a switch. We can rewrite that story. We can change it completely. So the narrative that you put out there is the narrative you receive in return. I celebrate myself for myself. I celebrate my wins. And I had a beautiful wind right in the middle of a phone call with a friend who sort of knew it was my birthday, but didn't, and I just celebrated naturally and screamed. And he's like, oh my God, what happened? And I said, something very exciting happened. And he's like, I've never heard such joy. Because every good thing, every connection that I have, every blessed thing lights me up from the inside out. And that's the change in me. And I know it's a daily thing, for no matter how each day unfolds, I get to choose who I am in it. When hard things come, I take a moment. I settle my energy. I take a deep breath in, hold it and just relax. And then as my nervous system heals and I rebuild my self-worth, I choose how I respond. And that choice of self changed everything inside of me, and I want to help more people do it. This blissful feeling. Is phenomenal. Surrounding yourself with gorgeous, magnificent people changes your world. I share my birthday with one of my clients, and when I reached out to her and asked her how it was even, she said that she celebrated four beautiful days and it was so different to other birthdays because of the way she sees herself, the way she demands excellence within, and the way that we appreciate all the little things. Taking responsibility for yourself and your energy and what you bring into your life matters when you shift it and say, I only accept and receive blessings, love and happiness, prosperity, joy and peace, your whole world changes. Make the choice today. Until next time.