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A faith-forward podcast for people who love Jesus but also love being honest about how weird and wonderful life can be. Hosts Kerrye and Jill tell stories about the Bible, talk about their faith, and dig into what it looks like to follow God through the ordinary chaos of everyday, imperfect life. Real conversations. Real stories. No pretending to have it all together. Pull up a chair, turn the page, and let's go.
Welcome to Chapter and Verse, where people
come on and tell their real stories,
faith, failure, redemption, and the
occasional, "Lord, what are you doing?"
moment.
Some inspiring, some messy,
and some that probably should
have come with a warning label.
Because through every chapter of
every story, God is still writing.
And He's not afraid of a little chaos.
This is Jill.
And Kerrye.
Let's turn the page..
All right, we're here with our
good friend, Lorrie Miller.
Um, Lorrie, we're very
excited to have you on today.
Just tell us a little bit about yourself.
Well, I am a mother, I am a
grandmother, and I am a wife, a
business owner, and a lover of God.
That's good.
That's a good description.
What do your grandkids call you?
Lollie.
Aw.
Lolly good.
I love that.
Yes.
I love it.
Yeah, I'm Kiki.
I'm not, I'm not a grandma yet.
What are you gonna be?
Have you thought about names?
Oh, yeah.
We've had them picked out for years.
Oh, what is yours?
Well, mine is ridiculous because
Ben wants to be called Pops, and
so I decided I would be Mops.
Oh, that's cute.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mops and Pops.
Mops and Pops.
Okay.
Well, what would you
like to talk about today?
Well, I thought that it would
be something encouraging.
I wouldâ¦
I'd like to talk about an experience
that I went through a few years back
that other people may possibly, in some
form, find themselves going through.
And we all need someone that's
going through something or has
gone- Mm-hmm ⦠through something
to talk to us to encourage us.
Yes.
Uh-huh.
For sure.
Because they've walked that road before.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So I thought I would just share a
little bit- Yeah ⦠of my testimony.
I feel like I have so many after
Everybody has a lot of chapters.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, um, this is a specific one that
in so many ways, so many dimensions
to it, it was just, um, a miracle.
Mm-hmm.
And, and just a miracle of
looking back and seeing how
God orchestrated everything.
Yeah.
From the very beginning,
he orchestrated it all.
And that's the biggest.
Yeah.
He's in the details.
He really is, though.
He is in the details.
He is in the details.
It's- Yeah.
It's funny how much you
see in hindsight, too.
You know, like, in the moment,
you can see God in some of the
details, but in hindsight, you
see, like, the teeny tiniest thing.
Oh.
And you're like, "If that hadn't
have happened that way, none of
this other stuff would have either."
And that'sâ¦
It's just incredible.
It is.
Yeah.
He's the great orchestrator.
It just speaks so much.
Yes.
It just speaks so much to how
much he cares about every little,
tiny thing, uh, for all of us.
Mm-hmm.
You know?
And not only He does care, yes.
But we go back to His nature-
Mm-hmm ⦠and who He is.
He is, um, omniscient.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
He knows everything.
Itâ¦
Heâ¦
As we're finding out things, He
already knew them before time-
Yeah ⦠was ever instituted.
He knew, and He already,
before the foundations of the
world, the lamb was slain.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Exactly.
So He knew this from the very beginning.
He had already made a way.
Yeah.
Yep.
So when we find ourselves, it says
He knows the end from the beginning.
When we find ourselves in the
beginning of a situation, maybe it's
a bad doctor's report, a financial
situation, a marriage situation,
whatever that Fill in the blank.
Whatever it is to you.
Mm-hmm.
When you find yourself at the beginning
of it, it can be so overwhelming.
But when we stop and think, "Lord, you
knew from the beginning of time that
I would one day be right here- Yeah.
at this moment."
Mm-hmm.
And you already have an answer.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And we don't always see that because
we're so focused on what's wrong.
Mm-hmm.
But we've gotta step back and say,
"Okay, you knew I would be here.
You already have a plan."
Yeah.
"And I just need to rest my
mind in getting your plan."
Yeah.
And what I have not done in the past
is I have pushed forward with my plan.
"Okay, I can fix this."
Exactly.
"Okay, this is what we need to do."
Oh, you're speaking my language.
And a lot of it, there are things
that are common sense, obviously.
Yeah.
But there are also times
where, "God, you have a plan.
You are the God of wisdom.
You're omniscient, you're omnipotent,
you have all power, you're all-knowing.
So therefore, you know exactly
what my next step needs to be."
Mm-hmm.
"You know how I need to pray- Mm-hmm.
"⦠to see the result that
you have already planned."
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And that's a lot of what I wanna share
with you today, and I found myself there.
Mm-hmm.
So in 2020, it was actually,
um- What did you call it?
February 29th.
A leap year.
A leap year.
Leap year.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So it was on leap day, February,
uh, the 29th of 2020, I
decided I would go outside.
It was on a Saturday.
I was gonna work in the yard, and I was
going to, um, clean up some landscaping.
So I was just cleaning old
brush and everything, and I got
to thinking, "You know what?
I can burn some of this."
Mm-hmm.
Well, long story short, I ended up
catching the whole yard on fire.
Oh, man.
So I'm the oneâ¦
I'm the only one home, and I'm figured
out, I felt the Lord gave me wisdom
on what to do to get that fire out.
Mm-hmm.
So I was desperately trying to get
the fire out before it got to the
pasture, because we have a pasture
behind the back of the house back there.
Yeah.
And I knew if it hit the pasture,
I would be in a heck of a mess.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
'Cause it was just gonna explode.
I was able to get it out, but in
doing so, I ended up with third
and, um, pretty third-degree burns.
Mm-hmm.
It was pretty bad over my
feet, my legs, my hands.
Um, but I walked through the fire.
I literally- Yes, you did
walked through the fire, and that was
the beginning of several things after
that, that just kind of snowballed.
Mm-hmm.
So in 2021, the next year, on
Memorial Day, another significant day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sitting there early in the
morning drinking my coffee.
My husband and I, again, we
were planning our day of working
outside and doing some landscaping.
That's kind of our, our hobby.
Mm-hmm.
Well, mine.
He just follows along.
Yeah, he's just gonna
do what you say to do.
He's a, he's a great helper.
Yeah.
So we were discussing that, and all
of a sudden, everything went intoâ¦
I started seeing quadruple.
Oh.
It was like youâ¦
It was like a plus sign.
Mm-hmm.
And I was seeing the same
thing in every quadrant.
Hmm.
That's crazy.
Yes.
And it was spinning.
Everything I was seeing
in fourths was spinning.
Mm-hmm.
And I was telling my husbandâ¦
Now, n- see, I'm just still
not in my, I'm, uh, I'm not in
my right mind at this moment.
Yes.
So I'm telling him that, "Oh,
I'm seeing, I'm seeing many of
those," or whatever I said to him.
Yeah.
And he said, "Lorrie?"
And he said, "You didn't turn your head."
And he got up, and I can remember
him looking at me right in the face
and saying, "Lorrie, are you okay?"
And he said, "You couldn't ta-
you wouldn't say anything back."
He said I was slurring my
words like I w- I just- Yeah.
Yeah.
I was just ⦠I just lost it.
But I wasn't alarmed.
I wasn't actually there.
Does that make sense?
Yes.
Yes.
But I, I could see him-
Mm-hmm ⦠but I wasn't alarmed
that anything was wrong with me.
I didn't- Mm-hmm ⦠know
to keep talking to him.
It was just, I just kind of
went into this vegetable state.
Mm-hmm.
But I have memory of
looking at him and him- Okay
looking at me.
He gets me up.
I remember him putting me in the truck,
taking me to the doctor, to the hospital.
Mm-hmm.
And once I remember them putting meâ¦
I still couldn't communicate, but
I remember them putting me in a
wheelchair and r- and putting, taking
me into the emergency room, and after
that, I don't remember anything.
The next thing I remember is
waking up in the trauma room,
and they had done a lot of tests.
Mm-hmm.
Come to find out they called it a TIA.
Mm-hmm.
Um, which that doctor also
said it's like a mini stroke.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not sure what's going on.
They d- not sure why.
But one of the things
that they said was, "Ms.
Miller, did you know you had
a nodule in your thyroid?"
I was like, "No, I didn't."
They, they proceeded to
tell me that they neededâ¦
They felt like that was something
that wasn't the reason for the TIA.
Now, I woke up, let me just
say this, feeling fine.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I was like, "Okay, let'sâ¦
Felt like I had a nap.
Let's just leave."
Yeah.
You're like- Yeah ⦠all right, well.
Yes.
But they wanted to do- Excellent.
Thanks so much ⦠a lot of tests.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
So they kept me overnight,
and the nodule was something
they wanted to get looked at.
So went toâ¦
They sent me to UAMS.
I did a biopsy, and that come
back as a Hurthle cell tumor.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
You look that up, it's an aggress-
a rare, aggressive form of, the
majority of the time, cancer.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
So I'm gonna pause in the story,
and I just wanna go back and say,
how would I have ever known- Right.
Yeah ⦠that that was in my thyroid-
Yeah ⦠except but for the Lord?
Yes.
Yeah.
You goâ¦
I went back.
There was actuallyâ¦
You know, they could never figure
out why in the world I had the TIA.
But I said, I told my husband,
I said, "I know why I had it."
I said, "What, how else would I get
into a hospital where they were going
to do a scan of my head and my neck?"
Right.
Yeah.
And that's how they found it.
Yep.
So a lot of times when we're walking
through something, there may be a
deeper, larger picture or reason why.
Mm-hmm.
And in my case, I see that that
TIA was what got me where I needed
to be to get this discovered.
Dealt with.
Yes.
The Lord orders the
steps of a righteous man.
Mm-hmm.
He orders our steps, and I felt like
that was an ordering of my steps.
So let's pick it back up.
I went to UAMS, and they did the biopsy.
Now, before I ever knew
that this was a Hurthle cell
tumor, I-- Wendell got a text.
Now, this is another layer to the story.
Mm-hmm.
Wendell got a text from a friend that
said, "Please pray for my wife, Lorrie."
And it's spelt just the way my name
is spelt, which is an odd spelling.
Right.
For my name, it's, it's unusual.
Yeah.
Yes.
"Pray for my wife, Lorrie.
She's going to UAMS for a biopsy
of a nodule in her thyroid."
How odd.
Yeah.
Very odd.
Yeah.
Wendell walks in there and
says, he says, "Look at this."
He said, "Do you think this is a joke?"
Because we just got home- Mm-hmm ⦠from-
Yeah ⦠UAMS in the same thing.
Yeah.
Like, did he think somebody
was almost, like, asking
someone else to pray about you?
Yes.
Okay.
He thought it was sent
to him inadvertently.
In-- Right, like it was supposed
to be sent to someone else.
Yes.
Yeah.
And, and then he said, "Maybe it was
a joke," you know, just whatever.
Yeah.
And I said, "Nobody knows."
I mean, we, we didn't- Yeah.
Right ⦠broadcast any of this
'cause it- Yeah ⦠why, you know?
Yeah.
So Wendell texted him back, my husband
texted him back, and he said, "Yes,
my wife is gonna go in," and he
said, "I really need your prayers."
He said, "I know you are praying people."
And so it was just the coincidence,
this- Mm-hmm ⦠so coincidental here.
Come to find out, she
had a very rare form.
Now, this is before I knew what I had.
They did hers and discovered
hers was a rare form of cancer.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and it was aggressive also.
And in her, it, it, it
was a bad situation.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
She ended up passing away in a
very, very short period of time.
Oh, man.
Now, she's going through this while I'm
still waiting for the results of mine.
They ended up having to take my biopsy
and send it on to New York, so it
took a little longer- Yeah ⦠for me.
But the whole time, this gentleman,
in my heart, I was praying for them.
Yeah.
In, in a, in a way that
nobody else would- could pray.
Yes.
Right.
Because I was going through- You were
literally walking in the same thing.
I was going through it.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
So he would call me, and I
loved to hear and talk to him.
I did, and, and I, I was praying with him.
But he would call and-
Unfortunately, he would have bad
news every time he would call.
And so I, a spirit of fear settled upon
me because every time he would say his
wife's name, he was saying my name.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And her thyroid cancer, her thyroid,
and this and that, and I was hearing
it as if it was talking to me.
And it felt like it was
being spoken over you.
Yes.
Yeah.
And, uh, that was another layer there
of you're already concerned, you've
given it to the Lord, you're trusting,
walking in faith, and then it just
feels like it's just hitting you.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Like a wave is hitting you, and
you fall down, and you get yourself
back up, and then another wave
would come with another phone call.
And- Mm-hmm ⦠and I'm thankful, but he
knew that I- we had a connection there.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And he needed someone to talk to.
Yeah.
And I, he and I, I love him.
He's a wonderful man, and I, my heart
went out to him, and she ended up
passing away from this about the same
time I was discovering what I have.
Okay.
And I was seeing it, it was lining up.
Right.
So that fear was something
that I was dealing with.
Wendell and I knew that we needed a break.
We just needed to get
away for a little while.
Mm-hmm.
She had this lady, this other lady had
not passed away at this time, and we
decided we'd go to Hot, Hot Springs.
So we get an Airbnb, and now startâ¦
We j- we just got there.
We were settling in.
We were just gonna have a nice,
relaxing, quiet weekend just to get
our mind off of things, 'cause I
really felt- Mm-hmm ⦠mentally and
emotionally I was going through it.
Yeah.
Well, it's exhausting.
It is exhausting.
Yeah.
And that first night, the doctor, the
head of inter- endocrinology at UAMS
calls me personally and says, "Well,
I've got some not so good news."
Oh, geez.
And he said, "It's a Hurthle cell tumor."
And he said, "Unfortunately, it's,
um, it's an aggressive form."
And so now I'm, I'm, uh, now I'm
hearing, now I'm getting the news of
what this gentleman's been telling
me about his wife, and that's-
Mm-hmm ⦠all I could relate it to.
And there was such a fear of death
just settled on me at that moment.
And then as he talked through it, he
said, "We're gonna need to get this
out as soon as possible, because the
only way that we can really determine
what this is and the extent of it is
to do the biopsy, a full biopsy on it."
Mm-hmm.
Not just through the, not- Yeah.
Not a percutaneous ⦠test.
Yeah.
Right.
A test.
I said that wrong.
Yeah.
And he said, "But I do wanna give
you some hope in the midst of this.
I know this is not great news,"
but he said, "10% of the time,
Hurthle cells can be benign."
And I was like, "Oh."
As soon as he said that, I was like,
"Oh, I know what God can do with 10%."
Yeah.
Yeah.
All of a sudden- That's true ⦠the
principle of the tithe- Yeah.
Yep ⦠came into my mind.
Yep.
What he can do with that 10%.
What he can do with 90 when you,
when you give him- Yeah ⦠the 10.
Mm-hmm.
So I was like, "Oh, that's all I needed."
I told him, I said, "That's
all I needed, was hope.
I have hope."
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Well, I'd had hope anyway.
Yes.
Yeah.
But he said it, that doctor said it.
But he validated my hopes.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
And he said, "We're gonna take this out.
We're gonna do further testing on it,
and we're gonna know 100% what this
is, and we're gonna go from there."
And I said, "Okay."
I hung up with him, walk in
there to tell my husband.
It's still a little concerning, you know?
Yeah.
But I'm, Iâ¦
Now I know how to pray.
Right.
Yes.
I, I felt like I had something at that
point- Yep ⦠from the Word of God.
Mm-hmm.
And then the gentleman whose wife was
going through her battle with cancer
calls me at that moment, and he was
in, in a very low place And because it
was a very sad situation, obviously.
And as he began to talk to me, that
fear, I mean, it, it startedâ¦
It was like all of it
happened within 30 minutes.
Wow.
That fear came over me, and I've
never had a crippling fear like I had
at that moment, and I just dropped.
Listening to him talk
to me the whole time.
He, he still doesn't know.
I'm encouraging him.
I- Mm-hmm.
I'm doing everything I can to-
Mm-hmm ⦠encourage him, and
it was just, it was just a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Soon as I hung up, I
couldn't even talk about it.
I just had to walk outside to get air.
I felt like I could not breathe.
Long story short, that was such
a demonic attack on me- Oh, yeah.
Yeah ⦠at that moment,
and I just began to pray.
I called a friend who's a
great pr- intercessor, and I
said, "Pray with me right now."
I said, "I need toâ¦
We need to do battle- Yes
⦠against this spirit of fear."
And she prayed with me, and at
that moment I ha- I knew at that
moment I had a decision to make.
I was either gonna walk by faith- Yeah.
Yeah ⦠or I was gonna walk by fear.
Mm-hmm.
And I contemplated it.
I sat on the porch of that little
Airbnb, and I just sat there, and I
contemplated it, and I was like, "No.
How dareâ¦
Who, who does the enemy think he is?"
Right.
Yeah.
"Who does he think he is?
I'm a child of God."
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
"I am, I am in covenant with God.
He's already supplied every need I have."
Yep.
Mm-hmm.
And I began- He's not
surprised by this, so- No.
Yeah.
Exactly, but I wasn't
thinking that at the moment.
Yeah.
But I was thinking, "I
have a decision to make."
Yeah.
"What am I gonna do?
I cannot straddle the fence."
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
"I've got to make the decision.
I'm gonna walk by faith."
So I began to pull scripture as I wouldâ¦
They came to my mind, and then
I would go to the word of God,
and I would pull, pull scripture.
Well, I had a lady in, uh, Sund- I
was teaching Sunday school at the
time, and I had told them then that I
was awaiting to find out what it was.
So prior to this day of finding out
what it was, she had mentioned to me
that when she was praying for me, that
she saw a l- like a, uh, beam of light,
like a laser beam- Okay ⦠and going
to that tumor and disintegrating it.
And that came back to my mind in my
scriptures that, um, I was reading
And I began, the Lord began to
download into me, "Pray for the light."
Wow.
"Pray for the light."
So that's what I did,
and I wrote this out.
And am I good to read it?
Oh, yeah.
You can do it.
Can I read it?
Yes.
100%.
So, Sunday afternoon, Miss Flora,
this is the lady at church.
She messaged me saying that in
prayer for me the night before, she
envisioned a laser beam going to
the tumor and disintegrating it.
That ministered to me so much, and I
was so thankful she shared it with me.
While in prayer Sunday evening, I
was pondering on what Flora had said.
The Lord reminded me that His word is
light, and He is the light, and that
when we pray what the Word says over
a situation, the light becomes like a
laser beam on a target to strike the mark
So I was envisioning every
time I would speak the word,
it was like a laser beam- Nice
going straight to that tumor-
Awesome ⦠and disintegrating it.
Yeah.
That's what-- Thatâ¦
So I got that mindset that when I
prayed, that's what was happening
Not distur- not dispersed light,
not just like a general prayer,
but I was doing warfare prayer.
Yeah.
I was interceding for myself.
I was doingâ¦
It was laser beam light.
It was a specific
targeted prayer for this.
It was intercession.
And the word, coincidentally,
intercession means to hit the target.
Mm.
Strike the mark.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So when I was interceding for
this, I was striking the mark,
I was striking the tumor.
I was hitting it like- Mm-hmm ⦠a
laser beam with my prayers.
Mm-hmm.
As I was still contemplating that, I came
across 1 John 2:8, because I began to look
up every scripture in the Bible on light.
And coincidentally also, what is
the first thing God did in creation?
Yeah, yeah.
Yep.
"Let there be light."
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was the first thing.
So I come across 1 John 2:8
in, in my Bible reading.
It says, "I declare the darkness
is passing away, and the true
light is already shining."
I remembered on the ultrasounds that I had
when they were just looking at this tumor,
that the color of the tumor was black.
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
But everything else is light.
Mm-hmm.
And anytime you have an
ultrasound, it's- Yeah
you can see light in your body, right?
Mm-hmm.
But the tumors s- the foreign
things that aren't supposed
to be there, they're black.
Yep.
So we were g- this is just a
side note, I wanna share this.
We were created by God in his image.
Mm-hmm.
We bear light.
Of light.
Yeah.
There is light in us.
Right.
So if you have an
ultrasound, you see light.
Yep.
Yeah.
And where things that are not
supposed to be there, that's darkness.
Mm-hmm.
Thereâ¦
And that tumor was darkness.
So the ultrasound showed
that the, there was light.
The tumor was black, but the tissue
of the thyroid around it was a
lighter color, as if light was shining
through it, and I knew that it was.
When I read the scripture,
the Lord reminded me of that.
I felt so assured that the light of
His Word is the laser beam destroying
the darkness, destroying the tumor,
and causing the true light to
shine through the healthy tissue.
An added bonus in that scripture
is s- is the word already.
His Word is already doing the work.
Mm.
That's so good.
It is.
Yeah.
So you go back to that scripture.
I wanna read it again.
1 John 2:8, and this is from the NLT,
"I declare the darkness is passing away.
The tumorâ¦"
I, now I just inserted-
Mm-hmm ⦠my situation- Yeah.
Mm-hmm ⦠in it.
The n- the tumor is passing away, and
the true light, the light of God, the
light of His Word, is already shining.
Mm.
It's already shining.
Yeah.
So He's already done the work.
It's already done the work.
'Cause everything is past tense.
He's already done it.
Yeah.
Yes, absolutely.
His Word is already doing the work.
Fast-forward to last night.
Throughout the night, in
bed, sleeping, throughoutâ¦
It's like a record on repeat.
I kept hearing the phrase in my sleep,
"The light overcomes the darkness.
The light overcomes the darkness."
Mm-hmm.
So when I got up that morning, first
thing, I went straight to my Bible, and I
searched out scripture, and John 1:5 says,
"And the light shines in the darkness,
and the darkness did not comprehend it."
Yep.
When you look up the word comprehend, it
means the darkness did not overcome it.
The darkness did not gain control.
Right.
So in my intercessory
prayer, I would pray that.
I declare in the name of Jesus that this
tumor is not gaining control of my body.
Mm-hmm.
I declare that Hurthle cell
tumor is not gaining control of
my body because it is benign.
And I would just declare that- Yeah.
Yeah ⦠over myself.
The tumor will not gain control.
He gave me a right now word.
And if there's any encouragement
that I can give anybody, is
that he has a strategy for us
on how to pray for a situation.
Mm-hmm.
If we will just listen.
Yeah.
If we will ask, and then if we
will listen, and then if we will
just execute once we feel, "I don't
know if that's from the Lord."
Hey, I would rather- Yeah ⦠start Yeah
⦠with something that I think the Lord is
telling me and let him continually guide
me than sit back and not do anything.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
So fast-forward to the surgery,
and then I find out at post-surgery
from the doctor that it was benign.
I was in the 10%.
That's so awesome.
I was in the 10%.
Uh, but if you go back and you
look from that moment with the
TIA, it was only through that TIA
that this was ever discovered.
Mm-hmm.
It was only through that situation
that the Lord was able to open
my eyes to something else.
Mm-hmm.
And then he already had a plan.
I see it as a blueprint for
everything in our lives.
Mm-hmm.
Our lives is a blueprint- Yeah.
Mm-hmm ⦠of his plan.
Yeah.
And everything we go through, he's already
got a plan- Right ⦠in place for that.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
So after it was over, I had the
great news that it was benign.
I asked the Lord, or I told the
Lord, I said, "Lord, that sure was
an awful lot to go through," and it
was benign just to find out- Yeah
it was benign.
Yeah.
And shame on me for saying that.
To find out that it was
benign and the Lordâ¦
Because in my mind, I was thinking
maybe it was benign all along.
Mm-hmm.
And when I said that, im- I'm telling you,
immediately I heard the Lord say, and deep
in my spirit, "Who said it was benign?"
That's right.
Didn't your prayers?
Didn't you pray that?
I was like- Yeah ⦠"Yes, I did.
I prayed.
I declared- Mm-hmm ⦠that that
tumor would be denied, benign."
So- Yes ⦠anyway.
That's so good.
Like, a couple of scriptures were coming
to my mind, but that when you were saying,
you know, about the light and, like,
it's pinpointed to that, you know, tumor,
that scripture in Revelation where it
talks about how he has our prayersâ¦
I'm gonna have to look it up.
Mm-hmm.
But he has our prayers and, you
know, then he, with purpose,
hurls it, like the answer and the
anointing hurls it back to Earth.
Like, it'sâ¦
When you hurl something,
it's with purpose.
Yes.
You don't just toss.
Absolutely.
There you go.
You know, when you're hurling it.
Well, he said hurl.
He didn't say scatter.
Yeah.
You know?
And I'm gonna look it up, and I'll
take out this part where we're
just kinda- Yeah ⦠looking it up.
So he's hurling it for it to hit its mark.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Back to Earth.
I'm gonna look it up, butâ¦
And I love the scripture in
Jeremiah that says he watches
over his word to perform it.
Mm-hmm.
He's making sure.
Yeah.
He's watching over it.
Right.
And he's bound himself to his word.
Right.
Think about that.
God, who is everywhere- Mm-hmm ⦠I
mean, he's- Right ⦠he'sâ¦
Who can even describe him?
But he has chosen to bind himself.
Right.
You know, God, who cannot be bound by
anything- Exactly ⦠has bound himself.
Except himself.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Has bound himself to his word, and he's
watching over his word to perform it.
Right.
So when we- He's waiting for you
to- Yes ⦠use his, his word.
Yes.
Yeah.
And, and a lot of times when we,
we don't think about it, but we, we
know that the word of God is hisâ¦
You know, obviously his word- Yeah
it is truth.
But also think about it this way.
It's your owner's manual.
Yes.
Yep.
It's your owner's manual for your
life- Mm-hmm ⦠right there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is what he has put together.
His word is to lead us.
His word is to guide us.
Yeah.
His word is to provide and protect.
Yes, it'sâ¦
I found it finally.
Um, and talk a little bit about,
like, we ask a lot of people who
are on this podcast, 'cause it's
asked a lot to me, "Well, how do
you know it's God talking to you?"
Like- Well, that's where
relationship comes in.
And whenâ¦
It's just like when you metâ¦
Before I met my hu- well, when I met my
husband, we would never have married if
we did not spend time with one another.
Right.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
And we wouldn't be where we are today if
we didn't communicate with one another.
Mm-hmm.
And now I knowâ¦
I can pretty much tell
you what he's thinking.
I can see his facial expressions and
know- Yeah ⦠what he's thinking.
Yeah.
Like, I can tell how Ben isâ¦
Like, what he's thinking just based
on, like, the set of his shoulders.
I'm like, "Ooh."
Yes.
You know?
Yes.
Yeah.
My husband- It- ⦠I can
see he does the- Yeah.
He makes- Mm-hmm ⦠a fist
with his hand sometimes.
Mm-hmm.
I can tell something's
really bothering him.
Mm-hmm.
And I don't think he knows he does it.
Right.
But we're in comm- It's just
something we've perceived.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Through communication and
being in a relationship.
It'sâ¦
I, I mean, I would even go as far
as to say it's an intimate thing.
It's not enough to be in a relationship.
You can be in a relationship with
a lot of people without being
intimate with someone, and i-
we need to be intimate with God.
Yes.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So how do you know it's God?
Mm-hmm.
When you have a relationship, when you
are making time for him, you're making
room for him in your life, you get
away in a quiet place with him- Mm-hmm
on a daily basis.
Yeah.
You read his word.
You know his thoughts.
When you're reading the word of God-
Yep ⦠he's telling you his thoughts.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
And then the more you know of the
word, the more you know who he
is, because- Right ⦠he is, he's
one and the same with his word.
Yeah.
So when I have, umâ¦
When I pray, I can sense, it
just goes with the experience of
having a relationship with him.
I know when he's talking to me.
Now, has there been, have there
been times where I wasn't sure?
Absolutely.
Yeah.
But I, I talk to him about that.
"Lord, I don't know if this is
you, I don't know if this is me,
but I'm asking you to confirm
your word to me if this is you.
I'm-"
continue to, 'cause he orders our steps.
Right.
And then he, i- then he does, and
I see that, and I just, again,
it's also walking by faith.
Mm-hmm.
Walking by faith.
It's walking by trusting him.
Yeah.
I think another thing, too, is to be
mindful that God, he knows us, you know?
And he might, he might speak a little bit
differently to you than he does to me.
Like, we've talked all the time about
how, like, God is, he, he's harsh with me.
Like- Yeah, me too ⦠God will tell me.
He'll smack my hand a lot, um,
'cause I need it, you know?
Oh, 'cause we've allowed him to do that.
Exactly.
You know, like, people can put
and be like, "I don't want that."
But if you don't allow that, I feel like
He'll find another way.
Like he'll- Well, or he just will
say, "Okay, you're not ⦠You
don't want to be close," you know?
Right.
"You don't want the direction and stuff."
Well, that's how it's with me.
Like, I feel like sometimes he just
sits back and folds his arm, "Oh."
Yeah.
"You don't wanna hear?
You don't want to do that."
He's not gonna push himself.
Right.
Right.
He's a gentleman.
Right.
He will not push himself.
Yeah.
He give you f- he gave us all free will.
Yes.
Right.
And he can't, he can't overstep that.
Yeah.
Mm-mm.
But he's, he's ready and waiting.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
This ⦠I finally found it.
It's in Revelation 8:3, and it says,
"Another angel who had a golden
censer came and stood at the altar.
He was given much incense to offer with
the prayers of all God's people on the
golden altar in front of the throne.
The smoke of the incense, together
with the prayers of God's people, went
up before God from the angel's hand.
Then the angel took the censer,
filled it with fire from the altar,
and hurled it back to earth."
I don't know.
That's just, that's always, like,
stood out to me, like, you know, when,
when God ⦠God has purpose when he
answers, like- Oh, my goodness ⦠and
when you said, like, the, one of the
first thing ⦠Well, the first thing
he said is, "Let there be light."
Light had to be with the Word.
It had to be spoken.
It went with a spoken word, and there's
so much power in his spoken word.
And I love reading the Bible out
loud because- Mm ⦠it's great to
read it in your mind and, you know,
just reading, but when you speak it,
there's some- Or when you speak it-
Yeah ⦠it changes the atmosphere.
Yes.
It does.
'Cause there's life and death
in the power of the tongue.
Amen.
And so there's nothing more powerful
than speaking the l- life that is- Yeah
the Word of God, you know?
Oh, my goodness.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
But-
Do notâ¦
When we, we often have a tendency
to want to shy away from, um,
things that cause us discomfort.
Mm-hmm.
Whatever that might be.
Yeah.
I mean, that is human nature.
Yep.
That, whatever that might be.
But Paul said, "I count it all gain."
Everything that- Mm-hmm ⦠he went
through, he counted it for good.
Yeah.
He counted it for gain because
that everything he went
through drew him closer to God.
I don't ever wanna go through this again.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-mm.
But I'm glad I went through it.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
On the backside of it now, I'm so thankful
I went through it because even if it had
been cancer, I still knew God had me.
Right.
Yeah.
Because He already knew.
Mm-hmm.
He already knew, but
He also has a way out.
He al- He has already established
a way- Right ⦠out, and
it's through Jesus Christ.
Mm-hmm.
And there's no other way around it.
You can't go around it.
Yeah.
You've gotta go through Him.
Yeah.
And so I'm so thankful for that,
and if this is anything that gives
encouragement to someone else- Mm-hmm
even in one person, it's, it
was worth what I went through.
Mm-hmm.
I even, just one more layer to that,
going through the waiting of not knowing,
you know, if this was a malignant
or if this was going to be benign,
you know, I trusted God either way.
Right.
But another layer was you begin to
think about things, like there are
things that are undone in your life.
Right.
Who do you need to ask for, tell-
Right ⦠tell someone you're sorry?
You know.
Yeah.
Do not, do not delay, 'cause you do not-
No ⦠we're not promised the next second-
Mm-hmm, yeah ⦠or the next minute.
Right.
Do not delay those things.
Who out there in your family or your
friends or people you know that are
not saved, are we praying for them?
Mm-hmm, right.
Because if not you, who's
gonna pray for them?
Yeah.
Right.
If you know to pray for them
and you're not, shame on us.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Because somebody needs to be praying
for their eternal- Right ⦠future.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Where are they gonna be?
And that was one thing that hit me
very hard was that I have family
members, and I told the Lord, I said,
"Lord, if it's my time, I will go,
and I will be happy to go" Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
"To be in your presence.
But Lord, I have a purpose here on this
earth, and I don't think I'm done yet."
Yeah.
"Because I have people in my life that
are not saved, that are not living for
you, and if you take me, you're gonna have
to put somebody else in my place-" Right
⦠"that is going to, with the same passion
and intensity, pray for their soul."
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
So that was something that I felt I have
a major responsibility while I'm alive
is to pray for those that don't know God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I pray for their souls.
So that was another layer there.
So what was the time span, like
how long did you have to wait
to see if it was benign or?
Almost a month.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah, it was, it was quite a while.
It was two weeks there, and then, then
they s- called me and said they're
gonna send it to New York, and it was
at least two weeks if not longer there.
So it was a good month.
Um- So how was- A month ⦠how was that?
Like did you keep pretty, like
focused, and did you feel at peace and?
Yes and yes.
And- I just would speak the word.
Mm-hmm.
Every moment I'd speak the word.
It was something that was
on my mind quite a bit.
It wasn't that I was constant in fear.
I wasn't.
Yeah.
There were times when the spirit
of fear would just descend on me.
Mm-hmm.
And I think it was, a lot of it was
my story was paralleling the- Right
other Lorrie's story.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
And I was, I was connected to that.
Right.
Well, and that's not, that's
not by accident either.
Right.
Because we have a real enemy,
and he has a real assignment.
He does.
So.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Well, but you know his plan
backfired in his face too- Oh,
100% ⦠because you were- Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
Always he doesn'tâ¦
His strategy is, is made
plain to us, you know.
Mm-hmm.
In a trial.
We're like, "Okay, I
see what you're doing."
Mm-hmm.
You know?
Yeah.
And it, in all, in all honesty,
you've gotta step back and
it c- becomes laughable.
Exa- At times.
I was just about to say that.
Like, almost comical.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
E- especially, you know,
on the backside of it.
Right.
Yeah.
I'll look at it.
You know, when you're in it, it's
not really always- No ⦠laughable.
Nope.
But at some point, when you're
stepping back, you're thinking, "Oh my
goodness, look what he tried to do."
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
He isâ¦
We are the overcomers.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah, and it's, you know, his oldest trick
is- It's like a tiny chihuahua barking
is trying to get you
to question God's word.
Doubt.
"Did God really sayâ¦"
Well- You know?
⦠what did, what did the devil do with Eve?
Yeah.
He didn't hit her over
the head with a stick.
No.
Mm-mm.
He hit her over the head with a thought.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
An idea.
Yeah.
And that's what he does with us.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
A lot of thoughts.
Like, you know, I heard Dean Caldwell
say- ⦠you know, thoughts areâ¦
You're gonna have bad thoughts.
You can't help from it, you're a human.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but it's what you do with that.
Absolutely.
What you do with those thoughts.
And that's why the Bible also says
to pull down- Imagination ⦠every
thought- Mm-hmm ⦠every imagination
that exalts itself above the Word
of God, above Him, above truth.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Okay.
We are constantlyâ¦
That is just a con- That is,
to me, it is a lifestyle.
Mm-hmm.
This is a lifestyle.
Yeah.
Being a child of God is a
lifestyle of taking control of
your mind through the Word of God.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And that's how trans-
transformation happens.
Romans 12:2, "Be not conformed
to the world, but be transformed
by the renewing of your mind."
And it's only through the
Holy Spirit can you truly get
transformed in your way of thinking.
Right.
And that only comes
through the Word of God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Listen to it.
Like, if you can't read, listen.
That's what I tell the kids all the time
because, you know, it's harder for them to
read, and I'm like, "You can listen to it.
You can listen to it
while you're sleeping."
Yeah.
Just play it real low.
Yes.
You know, until they're, you know, canâ¦
You know, it's harder for kids to wade
through a lot of the scripture, but they
can get their spirits ready, you know?
Mm-hmm.
And listen to it over and over.
Mm-hmm.
And I, I mean, I said, "It'll
help you sleep better."
You know, like- Yeah ⦠you
won't be afraid.
The Word's going on constantly, you know?
Right.
So yeah, it's just, it's so important, and
I think people, you know, don't realize
because there's so many distractions,
you know, now, like- Oh, it's so
easy to To spend your time elsewhere.
Yeah.
And, and it's so easy to justify
having like, "Oh, well, itâ¦
this is required of me."
It's not really required of you, but okay.
Yeah.
Whatever.
But like we can listen to a podcast
driving down the road- Yeah ⦠but
we're not gonna listen to the Word.
Yeah.
Like, you, you could, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
Listen, uh, your, your whole point
of re- like playing the Bible at
night, but in a different language,
'cause like it's so difficult for me-
'cause I'll, I'll start listening
and paying attention to it, and
then I'm like, "Now I can't sleep."
But once you said play it in a
different language, I was like, Yeah.
And it's completely- 'Cause then
you're not trying to- Yeah ⦠process.
But it's still the Word of God.
Still the spoken word.
It is.
Yeah.
It is.
So I'm like, just brain
exploded- That is great
and I'm like done.
Yeah.
Yep.
I've never even thought about that.
Well, and I will put on, you know, a
lot, I will put on Dean Caldwell podcast.
Yes.
And, um, no, no offense,
Dean, but it helps me sleep.
He's soothing.
As long as I don't really
start paying attention, then
I'm like, "What did he say?"
It's like, "Wait, what?"
You know, so I have to have it kinda
low, but- I'm, I'm doing the double- And
I do listen to it when I'm awake, Dean,
not just when I'm trying to go to sleep.
Yep.
Yeah.
But I've, I've doubled up, so now
I've found it in my Scottish Gaelic.
So I'm learning in Duolingo
Scottish Gaelic, and so now I'm
listening to the Word in Scottish.
So there are- Kinda pick it
up ⦠there are little moments where
I'm like, "Oh, I, I got that part."
I know that.
"Like, I know that part.
Now I know where we are."
'Cause I've also just gotten to
where I'll play it, and it just goes.
So I'll like start in theâ¦
They only have the New Testament
in the auto- the audio for the
Scottish Gaelic, but so I'll start
in Matthew, and like by the time I
wake up, we're well gone, you know?
Yeah, into it.
I love that.
Yeah.
Might as well, like- Yeah ⦠I mean,
it just brings a peace, you know?
Mm-hmm.
In the room, like you said,
changes the atmosphere.
It does.
It does.
Um, there's an order to God.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
He, he's a God of order.
Yep.
Mm-hmm.
He's a God of strategic order as well.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
And so people are looking for
peace in a lot of different areas
of this world, a lot of different
ways, I guess I should say, but
it only comes through knowing God.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
It only comes through God.
If you want peace, you,
you have t- to have God.
They're one and the same.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
He is peace.
Right.
He's the Prince of Peace.
He's the God of peace.
Right.
So there's an order to him, and
that order, you know, without
order, obviously there's chaos.
Mm-hmm.
But let's just, let's just
stop and think about, I am all
about the principle of first.
I love to go back, if I'm gonna study
anything in the Word, I like to go
back to where it's first mentioned.
And what was the first
act of man with God?
What was the first thing man
did after God created man?
You didn't just walk with him?
It was the Sabbath.
The next, the very next day.
Okay.
He was created on the sixth day- Yeah
and so he rested.
Think about that.
How significant is that?
That's good.
Yeah.
The very first act that
man did was rest with God.
Mm.
Man.
Think about that.
That is what, that is the whole
intention of what God expects or His
expectations for us is to rest with Him.
Mm-hmm.
And true rest, and I'm, I'm not
just talking physical rest- Right
I'm talking mental- Yeah ⦠mental rest.
Be not anxious for anything- Yeah.
Right ⦠comes with
spending time with God.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
That's how He planned it.
That was, that's the order.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
You rest in Him.
Yeah.
You spend time with Him.
Yeah.
Be still.
That brings peace.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
It does, and it puts order into your life.
Yeah.
We should be doing it first
thing every day, like spend time-
Mm-hmm ⦠so your day will go smoothly.
That's good.
Sometimes I wait till I get to work and
then I'm like, "Okay, let's do my, you
know, reading," and then it's, you know
⦠It's easy to get it away from you.
It's easy.
It's really easy to get,
"Well, let me just do this."
And that's, that's significant I think
too, knowing like you're a pastor.
Mm-hmm.
So like your, your job, it ⦠In no
universe would like your boss walk into
your office and you're having quiet
time with the Lord, he would not be
like, "Kerrye, you're on the clock."
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
He would be like, "Oh, okay, cool."
You know?
Yeah.
So for you to even have that, that
difficulty sometimes where you're
like, "I made it to work and I was
gonna do my quiet time at work, but
it's still like now I'm at work."
There's things to do.
And there are all of these other
things that need to be done.
Um, it, it being easy enough to
pawn off, like it's just- Yeah.
That's first- ⦠a testament to how
crazy it can get ⦠I try before
I let my feet hit the floor to say
something, like communicate with
him, you know, just open the day.
Absolutely.
Just brings so much more-
Absolutely ⦠peace to the day.
And we're all a little different, but I
feel, I believe from my own experiences,
that you have to be intentional.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
You have to be, not just, "Oh,
if I get time," or, "I'm gonna-
Right ⦠I hope I get time."
No, you have to make time.
You have to make time.
Mm-hmm.
It can be if first thing in the
morning, it can be last thing in
the evening- Yeah ⦠before you go
to bed, 'cause we're all different.
That's right.
And it's just- Mm-hmm
you know, however that works for you.
Yeah.
But it's intentional, being intentional
with spending time with the Lord.
Right.
I have to be intentional about that.
Well, it's like you said, it's a
relationship, and if you want to
have a relationship with someone
you have to make time for them.
Absolutely.
You have to.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
That's exactly right.
You need to set a time.
Mm-hmm.
And you need to, you need
to adhere to that time.
Yep.
Yeah.
Be intentional with it.
Yeah.
And just like any relationship, when
you start doing it, you start to look
more and more forward to those times.
Yes.
That's true.
I'm telling you.
You know, because I have decisions to
make, you know, as a business owner.
Mm-hmm.
I have decisions that I have to
make, and as a, as a mom, as a
grandparent, as a wife, you know,
we all have decisions Mm-hmm.
Some are more important than others.
But I need direction.
Mm-hmm.
I need guidance- Yeah ⦠and I need
wisdom in that, because if I make a wrong
decision, especially when it comes to
work, the blowback of that or the- Yeah
you know- Well, you have so many other
people depending on you as well Right.
Exactly.
That's just it.
Yeah.
I'm not just making that decision-
For you ⦠on a personal basis.
Mm-hmm.
It's on behalf of others.
Exactly.
And so I wanna make sure that
I lead well- Mm-hmm ⦠and I'm
intentional with leadership.
Right.
I'm intentional with, um, asking
the Lord for his wisdom and his
direction in this, you know.
So if I'm not spending time
with him, I'm neglecting the
most important part of my day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
True.
So I, I can't afford to do that.
None of us can.
Right.
Mm-mm.
Yeah.
That's a good challenge.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This was very good.
Um, is there, like, you can think
of anything, words of wisdom?
'Cause we're gonna ask youâ¦
Well, we always ask.
Go ahead.
I get to do it?
Yes, you do.
Okay.
I always do it.
Um, if you could go back in time and,
um, and, like, experience any story in
the Bible aside from c- the crucifixion,
resurrection, um, you don't necessarily
have to participate in it, but, like,
just kinda be a fly on the wall, whatever.
You can participate if you want,
but which story would you choose?
To go back and, and
observe Oh my goodness.
There's so many, but the first one,
so I'm gonna go with it, is Deborah.
Oh.
I would say Deborah.
No one's said that yet.
No one has said Deborah.
So Deborah was a woman judge.
Yeah.
What were the characteristics of
Deborah that the Lord saw in her that
he would raise her up to be a judge-
Yeah ⦠over his people, over Israel?
That the Bible says th- that
she herself said, "I, Deborah,
rose up as a mother in Israel."
Now, Deborah says that she has children.
Nope.
That's true, yeah.
So you think about the position of
a mother- Mm-hmm ⦠an overseer.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
A provider.
A caretaker.
A nurturer.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
And so I believe that she could have
been a mother, yes, but I believe
she saw herself as that person.
Mm-hmm.
That someone who loved God's
children, her people- Mm-hmm
like the Lord did.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that's good.
'Cause don't we?
Don't we love our children?
Yes.
Yeah.
I mean, that's the closest we can
get to God's love- Right ⦠right
there is a- Yeah ⦠a love of a-
Yeah ⦠parent with a, with their child.
For sure.
And she ⦠That's what she
identified herself as, a mother.
She rose up as a mother in Israel.
Wow.
That's good.
And I bel- I believe,
I see myself as that.
Mm-hmm.
I, we all need to have that mentality
as a mother that loves God's people
as much as he loves them, and we're
willing- Yeah ⦠to do whatever it takes
to see that the prodigals come home.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
The unsaved hear the Word of God.
Mm-hmm.
The love of God.
Yeah.
So.
That's good.
Yeah.
I like that.
I do too.
I would never have thought of her.
Me neither.
Okay.
So any more words of wisdom for us?
Don't neglect your time with the Lord.
It's everything.
Yeah.
Yep.
It is absolutely everything.
He has so much he wants to share
with us, but if we never get
alone with him, he can't tell us.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I mean, we're, we're blocking him out.
We're just ⦠The world gets too loud.
Yeah.
Somet- we need to get to a quiet
place where we can hear the still
small voice of the Lord- Yeah.
That's good ⦠in our lives.
Yep.
That's really good.
I like it.
Yeah.
Well, thank you for being on
here and- Thank you for asking me
we hope to have more visits with
you over different chapters.
Yep.
I look forward to it.
Thank you for having me.
You're welcome.
It's been a, it's been an honor.
I like it.
So excited.
All right.
Toodles.