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Insurrection on Fathom 4. A mob of salt-shaker-wielding ratling cannibals chase the party across the capital while Lorne crushes three of them into a psychic meatball and hurls it back as bait. Behind it all: Slyburgo de Fuckerby the 24th, the rival embassy's answer to scoring the most points. He escapes into the warp. The party limps home with a thousand ratling recruits, a prisoner, and a critically wounded engine seer.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: WH40K Wrath & Glory
Creators and Guests
Host
Guest
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What is WarHams - Narrative Declaration?
WarHams! The TTRPG live play show set in the grim dark world of Warhammer 40,000. Follow us @NarrativeDeclaration on all social media!
Three, two, one, go!
Welcome, everybody, to another episode of Warhorns!
As we destroy people's speakers and ears every time, it's always about introduction until
you hear the horrors of the dark.
Welcome, everybody, to another episode of Warhams.
We are people from Ithiopra, a Texas speech device crew, and we all wanted to get together
and play a Warhammer 40,000 tabletop RPG known as Wrath in Glory.
Now, one of the things that we always like to do, that we always love seeing the reactions
from fans of the show.
We enjoy, so for one, thanks for coming back, by the way.
We greatly appreciate you coming by to check us out again.
I hope you guys have been checking out.
Check out our outlets and stuff for the schedules.
I think this is the schedule.
So, you know, here is the current schedule in case you're going to miss another episode
or not or need to tell your friends.
So, you know, we'll be back on August 8th, and today is July 25th, and that means, that
means today's for Warhams.
So, one of the things I kind of want to do real quick is introduce everybody first, and
then I'll get on to my spiels of how everything works.
First off, we are going to introduce them from top.
The bottom, for our lovely individual, Speaker D, who do you play?
Excellent.
I am Speaker D.
I am a lead writer and voice actor for If the Emperor Had a Text-Speech Device, and
I play Pybrain, the skitarius of the group and the foremost melee fighter.
And then next up, we have our inquisitor acolyte, Reem Van Horn.
Who is played by me, Erndil.
I.
I.
I am also a lead writer, a voice actor, and a voice director on If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech
Device, and resident comedy goblin torturer on Twitter.
I believe that it is the third time I've been here.
Yes, it's the third episode.
Well, glad to have you back, Reem.
And finally, the captain of the debt collector going forth and gathering things for a grand
crusade is...
It'll be me, Hulky Crow.
I'm playing, as he mentioned, the captain, Captain Zedek.
I am also a voice actor for If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device, of all the roles,
Kayvon Shrike, voice menial, and I gotta know, where's the beef?
Fuck you.
Done.
Get out.
And I am Zoran the Bear.
I play Lorne, the sanctioned psyker of the group.
And you can also find all of our socials and stuff to figure out who we all are on the
screen.
But of course, none of this can happen.
Shut up, phone!
You're supposed to be muted!
So basically, I would like to introduce our esteemed champion of this entire show, the
game master of this group, Thurston Hillman.
Yeah, fuckers, the gloves are coming off this session.
No more Mr. Nice GM.
We got commented that you were...
Beauty man, and now he's mean.
Now I'm hard GM.
Free!
I'll grab my shit!
I mean, yeah.
I mean, hi.
I'm here.
I'm Thurston.
I'm here to make these players suffer.
It's what I do.
Yes, and we're gonna love to have you here.
So, how many of you might be new to Warhams?
You can tell us in chat, because I am going to explain to you how this works.
So, you know, for those of you who've been here the past two episodes,
for one, please, I apologize.
I tried to fix a thing before everything, and it just wouldn't work,
because the code, the CSS code is dumb.
So, some things might look janky.
But regardless of that, you will see that we're playing the system Wrath and Glory.
It's the 40k tabletop game for it.
And one of the things that we do is we allow you to contribute to the stream.
You can use donations and stuff to basically come up and be like,
hey, look at this awesome thing that we're doing.
And one of the things that is brought here are the dice.
You can see the dice under our characters.
Those are Wrath dice.
They allow us to do rerolls and stuff like that.
What you'll also see is to the bottom left here, which you'll now see these kind of go up a little bit.
These are called Glory dice.
They're these kind of golden eagle dice.
They allow us to add on to skill rolls and increase damage and stuff to kind of help us kill things a little bit more.
And of course, over to the right side are these Ruin dice, the kind of red evil chaos looking dice.
These are for the Game Master.
This is what the Game Master uses to basically ruin us all.
So he's able to use it to buff up the monsters, make sure they don't die, make sure to do a whole bunch of stuff.
And of course, there's always a concern because we do have a scrolling thing there,
which right now you see Grant and Wrath.
That's supposed to be Grant and Ruin, which didn't have time to fix that.
That basically you are able to contribute to it.
But also we are someone who wants to have a good show first.
So if anyone who has a way bigger wallet than you comes in and says, I'm going to win this game.
I'm just going to win this game.
I'm just going to win this game.
I'm just going to win this game.
I'm just going to give them $1,000 and now they have to do all of this.
It's like, no, no, no, no.
If you see that it's full, it's full.
It's not going to go over that.
We're not going to basically ruin the entire game at that point.
Just come up because someone's going to just start dropping down cash just to mess up the stream.
Stream and fun first is most important to us because we want you to enjoy the game because there is going to be some risk in this game and everything.
And we don't want to mess anything up for you.
Additionally, we have also known.
Noticed and some YouTube comments that people are quite worried about the show and its involvement stuff.
We just want to basically clarify that basically alpha with making new episodes and everything else.
Alpha really has barely any process in this.
We literally, he shows up and goes, I like this would be funny.
And then we make it happen.
Once we're done making it, we then hand it to him.
He goes, okay, this is funny.
And then he puts it on the, on his channel.
That's literally most of his involvement.
So he's not spending up to thousands upon millions of times making the show.
We, the rest of the crew for the show made this to give you guys content.
So to kind of tide you over till the new TTS episode, because I understand some people have some fears, but we started it that way.
So alpha does not get messed with.
So whenever, during his downtime or whatever, he can then make animations of this thing, but he's concentrating on the episodes because that's one thing we sat down and met with is episodes need to come first.
Cause this.
This is what you guys come to this channel for, and we're just here to kind of fill in the void.
So further than that, I believe that is everything.
I don't think we have any other special announcements.
We have a giveaway thing.
We were looking not today.
Oh, you're not doing that today.
Okay.
No, no, actually.
No, no, sorry.
I'll sing into the other thing.
We're not doing that type of good way, but one of the things that we're doing is that if we hit a thousand concurrent viewers this episode.
So.
I recommend if you want to tell your friends, which I want to up the stakes a little bit, I'm, I'm going to buy, I'm doing a giveaway for one ninth edition core rule book.
So basically I will basically give you the funds.
You can go get it yourself.
And for all the tokens that we have for all the rattlings and stuff, we will then release that to the public.
At that point, I'll basically compile them all together and start releasing all of the images for that.
Or if you don't want the ninth edition core rule book, I am also willing to also just get you a copy of the new.
Wrath and glory revised edition copy, which will get updated with the errata as it gets, uh, modified.
Cause it hasn't gone to the printer yet.
So if you help out, if you help us out, then we'll basically, oh, I'm willing, even willing to do that for a couple times for the future episodes.
If you're willing to help out, I'd greatly appreciate.
So I think that's all we got all of our kind of preamble stuff.
And I click it's time for us to enjoy an adventure Thurston.
So what do you have for us today?
Yes.
Yes.
Um, really quick, um, usual, usual reminder before we get started with our sessions.
Um, we're learning the system just as much as everyone else is.
So if there's a rules thing, feel free to call us out on it.
Like this is an open environment.
We all want to learn together.
Second of all, for those of you who follow wrath and glory may have noticed that yesterday there was an errata released for the game.
Uh, we're not working in all the errata though.
We're working in a little bit.
Some of our characters have moved.
We're a little bit more experienced now and can do some other cool stuff.
We're going to work that in, uh, starting on the, the following session after this, but we may have some pieces here.
We have a few more wounds and, uh, flamers may be pretty awesome.
So yeah, it's fun.
It's going to be, it's going to be good.
Flamers are totally important right now.
So, um, as we get started, I just want to provide a quick little recap of last session for everyone.
So we all know where we're, we're at last session.
The, the, the heroes met with a Belba creep foot.
A local ratling who removed her disguise and led them into her lair where they plan to sneak into the capital of far them for, in order to find out what happened to the previous emissaries who'd come to this world.
And, uh, after, well, through deft cunning, our heroes managed to make their way into the capital, eventually emerging into the hedonistic town square there.
They made their way into an underground bunker complex via great and, uh, encountered the various divine Lords.
They first encountered.
The divine Lord of fervor and his legs.
Uh, then they encountered the divine Lord of science and her abominance who they, they left on peaceful terms with her.
Uh, and then they encountered the divine Lord of war and his girth.
Um, I'll just say, you know, if you haven't seen that episode, you should totally go back and watch it.
It was a good one.
Anywho.
Um, and then after finishing their encounter with the divine Lord of war, our heroes and their accompanying tater tot opened the door to the outside.
Uh, of the facility they'd been in where they kind of found that they were in the entrance to that, uh, that town square, except things had changed a bit.
And the sky was a light with a red, orange fire.
And there was a group of ratlings that had descended on the town.
And these ratlings had this deranged look in their eyes and had essentially fallen upon the, the local inhabitants of the capital.
These, these deranged ratlings seemed like they came from somewhere else and their eyes have just this, this strangeness to them.
And as we begin our session, we, we find ourselves kind of camera focused on our group of heroes with tater tot standing behind deftly clutching his glory.
And as, as we see this, the camera swivels to show a scene of pure carnage.
We have ratlings that have descended on other ratlings.
We're once we had a.
A picturesque Roman caricature of a rattling in a toga eating grapes.
That rattling stomach has now been ripped open and three other ratlings lay over it, consuming the innards.
And then there's sounds of crunching and chopping and all sorts of horrific noises.
And this is what our heroes have emerged into.
So, uh, how is everyone reacting to this?
Thanks, Thurston.
You're welcome.
We've done it.
We've saved the city.
Is it like all on fire?
Oh yeah.
So, so yeah.
So the background is on fire.
Like there's flames burning.
There's, there's pillow, like, like blooms of smoke coming out of, um, out of the background.
You can see some of the nearby forest is also caught on fire.
And just these, these other ratlings that are garbed in what you've come to see is sort of the common civilian attire for the ratlings of Farther Than Four.
Except they all have this strange simulacrum.
This, this circle with lines and then jagged marks that you can kind of see in our background image here, but this, this red daubed circle on each of their clothing, and that they're all just in these, these moments of pure, uh, pure debauchery of consuming the flesh of the citizens of the capital.
Okay.
So we went from peak of Rome to fall of Rome in the matter of a day.
This is good.
Captain, what's, what's happening?
What's happening here?
As Taylor says,
Tater Tot clutches his glory.
Captain, uh, you still have access to the suborbital munitions, yes?
I do, but, you know, it comes back to that same problem of not being able to talk to the ship.
We're gonna have to fight our way out of this city if we're gonna get any access to that.
Oh, come now.
I'm sure these revolutionaries can be perfectly reasonable.
Smell that.
I can't smell.
And, and as, as you say that, like, from behind.
You, through the comp, the compound's, uh, open doors, you hear this, oh, no, oh, no, as you, you hear the, the shouting voice of the divine lord of science coming from deeper within, and, and then just this nom, nom, nom sound.
Yeah, very good.
Well, I suppose that solved itself.
I can't lie, I'm a bit sad I didn't take care of it myself.
Get away, get away, no, no, this is my way.
I'm a white dwarf.
Can we, can we, I kinda, I come up to, uh, I come up to Reem, put a hand on her shoulder, and I, let's just enjoy this for a moment.
Just watch.
Reem, Reem, Reem.
Alright, alright, alright.
So, so what happens at that is Lauren's like, yeah, put, put your hands on the shoulder, let's just enjoy this.
And almost as if on cue, one of the rattlings that's consuming the, the, like.
Togo-wearing Rattling Noble's open, exposed chest looks up, and it's sort of dead eyes turn and meet yours, Lauren.
And this Rattling raises a blood-stained hand that's still dripping with viscera, one finger pointing towards you, and it just mouths the words, though you can all somehow hear it carried on the wind in the bedlam.
To one.
Flesh.
As I.
You need to, you need to stop speaking, Lauren.
As I.
I.
You know, it has to come to this.
I, I point at him and just close my fist.
Can I cast Crush on that creature?
Oh, absolutely you can.
I absolutely do that, with no repercussions in mind, in any way, shape, or form.
It's gonna be fine.
And I'm gonna make sure there's no rat guys.
Yeah, yeah, there's nothing bad that can happen as we hype this up.
Yeah.
So something bad can happen.
And no complication.
That is an 11.
I am going to push.
I'm gonna push two of those dice that I got.
I got a total of 11.
I'm gonna push two of those dice up to make a strength or willpower test to make it an additional difficulty number, just in case.
Rule the damage for me.
Let's see if that is even going to matter, or if you just like.
I just do like one additional damage die, I believe.
Which I fail.
But it's just 10 damage.
Oh, yeah.
10 damage just crushes the bones in this rattling.
And like, its hand is stretching out towards you.
How exactly do you crush this rattling?
So I assume this rattling is on top of this doctor thing.
Just go.
And everything else.
Oh, it's not even.
It's not the doctor.
It's one of the like rattling nobles.
Like that one you saw in the toga who is eating grapes.
The doctor is still inside the complex, farther down the hall.
Okay, my bad.
Yeah, what you're looking at is one of those like splayed out Romanes.
Esque noble rattlings who was on the bench in the middle of town square.
Okay, I apologize.
For some reason, I heard the doctor thing.
So now I realize how fucked up I am.
She's shouting from behind, like deeper inside.
Oh, okay, okay.
I now realize how much of a monster I am.
So basically, I'm just like, yeah, we can't be having this, Reeb.
So I just crushed it and just throw it to the side.
And it's like, if you wish to analyze the noble,
to see if we can get any information from him, Reeb.
I highly encourage.
I encourage you to go talk to it before it expires.
And the other two look at each other and, and like,
they look at each other with those strange eyes and then look over to you,
Lorne.
And in unison, they just begin chanting.
Eat the tall, become the tall.
And they turn.
And as they say this,
all the other rattlings seem to pick up the chant,
though there's no way they all could have heard it.
But you're seeing dozens of these rattlings start to come out.
Eat the tall, become the tall.
They start just like, and the background sound of the burning and the destruction
almost fades away to just this, this chant of eat the tall, become the tall
that has this bass reverberation from all of, all of them saying it.
And more and more of them are starting to come out.
And then just from behind you, you hear,
No, get away, no.
No, not my precious, my precious children.
Oh, no.
And from behind you, you see the divine Lord of science.
She sort of rushes up from the back,
clutching the white dwarf to her chest as she, she approaches.
They're in the facility.
She, she stammers as she comes out.
Agility.
Can I get my white dwarf back?
I mean, absolutely.
It doesn't even, you know,
it could be,
it could be athletics.
It could be agility.
It could be acrobatics.
Yeah.
Well, one of your,
believe it or not,
my agility and my athletics are exactly the same.
Sweet.
Perfect.
All right.
And just so everyone is reminded here.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
More science there.
That is the divine Lord of science.
Just first thing, just first things first.
I want my precious white dwarf back.
Then we can deal with trying to rescue her if we deem that to be necessary.
Yeah.
You, you managed to like rest it and she, she's frail and doesn't give a.
They're in my facility.
And like from inside.
Now you hear the drone again.
These are two disparate groups.
Eat the toll, become the toll.
We have more pressing matters to deal with by the omniscient gentlemen.
This is bad.
They're going to eat you guys.
You're not exempt from this brain.
You have some parts they might want to try and drink or something.
You're right.
These people don't know how to do math.
Can we shut the door behind us, please?
I shut the door.
Can all of you give me an insight check?
I would like nothing more.
Yeah.
Ah, yes.
Insight.
Insight.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh boy.
My insight of two.
I got a glory.
Complicated.
I got a glory as well.
Wow.
Brain gets a complication.
All right.
Yeah.
That's fair.
That's fair.
Yeah.
So we're going to say, yeah, what we're going to say happens here is like, this isn't really
a, cause this is more of a passive check.
Um, the complication isn't going to matter much.
This is more just like what you all sort of know and can figure out.
And everyone except brain can, can immediately realize that there there's more going on with
this chanting than, than meets the eye.
Like this is, this has been picked up.
Uh, and is now almost harmonious amongst these, these ratlings.
There's some kind of driving force behind this.
Uh, what that is, you're not entirely sure.
Uh, Lauren, with your check, you might even think that there's some kind of like warp
fuckery or psychic shenanigans going on here.
What does mine indicate with my own glory?
Uh, with, with your, with your insight review, you, you get a very similar, um, insight.
You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, that they are definitely, um, affected by
something.
To you, It might seem more like, like a pathogen or some kind of infection.
Ah!
Brainworms.
Of course.
It's always brainworms.
Brainworms.
It always comes back to brainworms.
They don't verify their water.
It has to be a brainworm.
This wouldn't happen if they were taller!
I, I'm unable to fix them.
Be silent.
You see what happens if you make them taller,
you give them an inch and they eat your foot.
he that will become the and they're like they're starting to form some circles around you there's
a couple dozen of them in in the town square now can i um can i do a thing real quick yeah
so psychers uh in wrath of glory have a thing called uh science science or whatever psychic
science whatever it's called that uh basically by description is by concentrating and probing
the wall with their mind a psycher can detect the presence of psychic phenomenon including other
psychers objects imbued with psychic power and similar features if successful i can pinpoint
where it is and all this other stuff may i do that i want you to know and this makes me really
happy as a gm that i wrote a note for this encounter called lauren has a chance to use
sign of science so yes yes you can and my gm heart grew a little i did not complicate
uh
but i did succeed because my difficulty number four is three yeah yeah um okay
oh yeah it's not considered a psychic power so you don't trigger perils with it anyways which
is cool yeah so if you're not lying stop but are still within range the sucker instinctively knows
which direction they like and followed them to their source of this power sustain
okay so what you get from this i'm going to give you a general description um matching with what
reeb has kind of said with like ah brain worms this is an infection but it's almost like an
infectious idea that's just hopped from mind to mind this is like a psychic mental implant
in the minds of these rattlings that has just kind of taken on a gestalt consciousness of
jumping around to all of these rattlings who are obviously not from the capital like you've not
seen this attire on those in the capital they've come from somewhere else but it's sort of jumped
around to each of them, infecting
them and giving them this disposition
and probably also contributes
to their strange eyes, because you can see
that it's definitely focused
on their eyes, that little
tinge of warp energy.
So, which SCP
containment is this one?
Jesus.
You're trying to get us sued?
You're trying to get us sued.
Alright, let's be real. This is
border-catter. I mean, I'd call it
more of like a really strong Euclid,
but...
Let's be reasonable here.
No, this is obviously, uh...
This is obviously the vending
machine.
And from behind you is the
interior of the facility.
You just hear the
beat the toll, become
the toll, and it's resounding
from inside the facility, which
is behind you. And then
again, in front of you in the
town square, like, the
numbers have grown. Again,
a couple dozen of these ratlings,
many of which are brandishing
knives. Some of them
have butcher knives. You notice
a couple of them that
hold, like, hooks in their
one hand, and then in their other, they're
clutching onto, like,
salt and pepper shakers?
Oh, good.
Gentlemen,
it appears as though we are
surrounded.
Excellent.
No.
Not really excellent at all.
Well, I mean, it gives us something
to do. We had plenty
to do. This is just adding more odds.
For goodness sake, we...
Beat the toll, become
the toll. Shut up!
There's this loud sound
coming from, like, beyond
the town. Like, the
fields north of the town.
This chant that's
actually shaking the
earth, almost. Just from
the force of it.
I have had enough
of this. I'm going to wheel around.
Is there a button on the outside of the
large bay door that we opened that I can
use to shut the door?
Yeah. I'm gonna wheel around
and slam my fist on the button.
I get inside the door,
or are we getting inside or staying out?
I would recommend staying
outside, because we will not be able to go...
I'm going there to help.
Oh, no.
What could we do?
There's so many of them.
I'm going to grab
Tater Tot.
Yeah, you kind of grab Tater Tot,
but he's just clutching his
small Geraldine horn
looking around like,
I don't know if a gorilla can fight
this all off.
You need to be more than a gorilla.
You need to be a machine
gorilla. But before you do that,
I need you to tell me, have you ever
been to this horrible city?
The
capital? Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Uncle Hedgehedge took me here once
when he was doing some meat trading.
Hedgehedge, that's terrible.
Alright, well, do you know any ways
perhaps out of this city?
We have to
go down that way.
It points to the area where you came in,
which has like a
smaller congregation of these
deranged ratlings in front of it
and sort of leads down. Remember,
the interior of the capital is
this fenced-in sort of section,
though the fences, like, they'd be
walls to ratlings. You could easily
almost step over them at your height.
And
that sort of covers the center
of the capital.
And then there's a whole bunch of buildings
and winding, non-90-degree
roads that lead
in and out of the area itself.
I suppose the only way out
is through them.
Indeed. You didn't happen to kill
Bulbafete, like I told you to, right?
Or Creepfoot, or Bulbasaur,
or whatever the one, you know.
No. I'm right here.
Poof!
Here's right behind you with like a smoke cloud.
Ah!
I'm readying my staff.
Stealth Goblin!
They came out of the north.
Where?
I think there's a couple thousand of them.
Wait.
A thousand.
They're from the northern settlements.
They're not going to be able to take hold of that, but...
Oh! Do you remember
that the, uh, that the
Tet Priest that was...
that did exist here,
that her corpse and whatnot
was near a wreckage up to the north
or so, right?
Oh, yes. That's where we left
all of our tech items
that we didn't need or were too happy to bring here.
Since fucking
Zedek forgot the radio,
that we need to go
over there and try to see...
Yes, you did. And that, basically,
we need to go to that wreck and see if we can
salvage any form of
communications to help us get out of here.
Become the tall.
Eat the tall.
The only communication device is to the north.
Let's get out and then plan.
And with that,
the Henny Bill music
begins to play.
Um...
As, uh...
Yeah, it sounds like you all want to, uh,
to make an escape out of the capital.
Yep.
Oh, we can just leave, huh?
We can just leave, is that it?
We're just, we're just
leaving. Alright, good.
Uh, yeah, so, so...
Uh, how... This is gonna be kind of
a freeform encounter, but, like,
at this point, what happens is the
cannibal ratlings that have
taken over the center square,
all start to move.
Um, I'm going to
essentially let you pick
the order
of, uh, who you want to go first
in this chase. We'll treat it kind of like a combat.
Oh, god, these are dangerous. Yes.
I have a proposal, group.
Okay.
Can I cast crush
on one of them
and then throw it at
the group of them like it's a
like I'm bowling?
Because I can target them all
until I make a bigger meat bowling ball
and then just psychic power it at
them and knock them all down. And they'll never
get up. Look at them. They'll be like turtles.
Alright, so
here's how I'm gonna rule this.
The idea is that with this chase,
they're gonna be coming after you. So,
you can do any kind of wacky
crazy shit you think of,
and I will determine whether that is something
that is advancing you getting out.
Is it something that's hindering them
reaching you? And I have some background
math that'll handle all that. So, like, you can
do whatever the hell you guys want in whatever
order you want, and then
I will do the mechanics in the background.
So, if you want to do something like that, that works
perfectly in the system I have.
Lauren, normally I'd be...
Go ahead. I would normally
be against you doing
some kooky spook psychic fuckery,
but if you want to add more content to your
crushing ratlings with force blog, by all
means, go ahead. Excellent!
I cast crush!
Alright, so we start with Lorne, who's
going to cast crush.
And I got... What's a winner?
I got a really good roll.
I got a 10 total.
Ooh! That's spicy.
Mmm!
A one and a zero. Ooh, starchy.
The wizard!
Unspeakable powers.
Okay, cool. I'm just gonna, for
ease of... ease's sake here,
I'm just gonna put these tokens
on the side, and then over here
is the people affected. Okay.
Alright, so Lorne,
you... you crush.
You... you channel
this force again. Are you
cubifying or bowling-ballifying
one of them? Yeah, so
I assume for their mass, I'm
gonna need to, you know, get a couple of
them, so I go... and bring them all together,
because I just know with their hit points
they're gonna die easily with this thing.
Roll damage for me. Roll damage.
I mean, it's 10. It's 10 or 11.
Yeah, roll it.
It'll matter.
Yeah, it's like...
That's telekinetic. Don't. Wrong thing.
Boop. Wrong. Wrong is 10.
Okay, 10. Perfect. So yeah, you manage
to crush one
and then pull in three
others that get caught in the gravitational
psychic force of
your crush and mash them all into
this horrific ball,
which you send hurtling back
towards the
greater mass. It has clearly
caused them to be
somewhat
shaken or
not reaching
you as quickly.
So with that, I'm just gonna quickly
reshow some of the art assets.
Here is the
rattling cannibals,
just to give you an idea. These are sort of the generic
rattling cannibals. Cool.
You know, they're generic cannibals.
They're generic
rattling cannibals. Bargain.
Remember, these tokens can be yours.
Store brand cannibals.
This is glorious art.
Alright, we call those great value
man-eaters.
You just crush
and grab in a few more and toss them
and then like
they retract back
the mob of these rattling
circles around it and then they all
descend on the cube of
meat you've sent their way and you hear
the tearing of teeth as they go
into the crushed remains of their brethren.
And this has clearly
delayed them a little bit.
Next up, who wants to take
initiative next here?
I will.
Yeah, so
seeing that there's like this pause in it, is there like
any, like, say like
I guess bulkhead doors
or anything along those lines, any sorts of
obvious technology that I could
potentially use to my advantage?
The only
kind of technological device
in this feudal
rattling town is the door
you, the door that Reeb
just closed to the sort of old
imperial facility.
That's it. The only
other thing you notice around here
is there's the sort of wooden fence that
locks in the
upper, upper hive
of this small feudal village.
But that's just something
you can walk over when you reach it.
We are in a low-tech
environment, my man.
Oh, God. By the Omnissiah!
I hate this planet!
Reeb, do something!
Uh, yes.
I have a suggestion. How about you direct
your rage at cutting us a path, please?
With your very, very good power,
sword, please, go!
That's an excellent idea. I'm very angry.
And I'm going to start doing that.
So you're going to push forward.
So, to set the scene for everyone,
I assume that Loren has
done his crush on the big sort of mob
that's, you know, coming towards you.
But you're more looking to
charge ahead to that smaller group of rattlings,
cut your way through to reach
the gate so you can move
further along, right? Yeah, absolutely.
Any kind of fences in our way, I just want to crash
through them. You know, any sort of
rattlings. Before you reach the fence, there's
going to be, like, a group of those cannibals that sort of
gaggled outside of it. So, yeah, you can
give me an attack roll
on them as you charge forward.
Brain is going to be creative
and use his sword to solve a problem
for once. Yes!
What do you mean, for once?
Oh, yeah, that will definitely
hit. Just give me a damage roll, please.
So you rolled a four. That's going to hit their defense,
which is not that good.
So, 13.
Yeah, you
skewer, like, just
cleave through three of them,
the power sword causing them to
twitch and fall over. There's
another three left, however,
and one of them is
going to now go
in the initiative order of this
chase combat. And what
this one does is, it's one of the
ones that has, as I mentioned,
a salt
shaker?
Oh, God.
And it looks at you,
and quickly
hurls this
spice on you.
Brain.
One thing, by the way.
Someone contributed to that
for your roll, therefore, Game Master
is a complication.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, so, they
go to hurl, and they miss.
They miss with the salt shaker.
In fact,
the salt shaker
goes wide, like, out of their
hand, flying off into the
distance, and you all kind of look
up, and it's this comical affair of all of
your heads see the salt shaker
twirling in the air, little
glints of salt reflected by
the firelight here.
And then it lands on the crushed
meat cube, and
all of the ratlings that are already
consuming it just go even
further, like,
and they just seem so interested in
consuming more of this crushed,
meat cube.
I agree to approach it, this cannibal.
You are too dumb to be a cannibal.
You should quit.
Be the toll.
Become the toll.
Uh, no,
nothing yet. Alright, who wants to go next
from you here?
Uh, Cap, you wanna go?
I would be happy to.
Alright, so, Cap, I will
let you know what the big problem is.
At this point,
your brain has cleared
all the three of the ratlings in front of the
gatehouse, but the gatehouse is also closed.
Now again, you could all
make, like, a
athletics checks to
jump over it, because people of your stature
would not be too impeded. However,
Belba, maybe the frail old
divine lord of science who's with you, and
Tater Tot would be hard-pressed to jump
over this. So the other sort of challenge
here is opening that gatehouse if you want
to make it easier for them to get through.
I would be happy to.
I mean, with how hard
electricity seems to hit, I'd love to just
blast away at them right
now. Okay, so are you going to
target the door, or are you going to target
those three ratlings that are still by
the gate? Uh, I will
target the ratlings.
Absolutely.
That's gonna be a multi-attack.
Uh, so I'm treating all of the ratlings
as a mob, so you don't have to multi-attack
them here. They're essentially all
like one big giant
mob in different small groups.
I understand now.
Yeah.
Then let's go.
Oh god.
He's done it, boys.
He got a fire.
He fired his electricity at them, and now
they are going to die because they cannot
eat electricity.
Uh, yeah, so
do you, Captain Zedek, want
to describe how
your arc pistol
goes towards them and then
pops all three of them?
So, firing the arc pistol,
the bolt of electricity crackles
towards the first one, kind of
just fries them from the inside out, and then
begins arcing to the other two, slowly
crisping them up into delicious
farthum-fried ratling
nuggets. Yeah, yeah, and the
first one's like, their eyes pop, and they kind
of shake in air, and then they collapse
forward, and this is left the
way towards the closed gate.
Uh, completely open. Again, the gate
is still closed. That
will bring us
to the main cannibal mob,
which what I'm going to do for them
is I'm going to have them
make a, uh, willpower test.
Uh, the difficulty is going to be
three in order for them to decide that they're
done snacking. Let's see here.
Uh, they
will not, so they are, they are still, I
roll a one, they're still just, like, consuming
the meat-crushed corpse.
Uh, that brings us to Reeb.
How would you like to proceed
now? Uh, Reeb is going
to try and usher,
our little crew, our motley
crew of, uh, people here,
usher the Lord of Science,
Belba, and, of course, uh,
Tater Tot, uh, towards the gate
because I have a feeling if I run forward
and they get left behind, it'll be like, oh, well,
we forgot them. Whoops.
Absolutely, so. I'm
ushering them forward, but I also like
to try and, like, turn around
and just kind of, like, skip alongside
them, like, backwards and fire
my flamer backwards, if that's possible.
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely. So, what I'm
kind of guessing is you're ushering them forward
so they're making their way towards the gatehouse,
you're turning, and then you're firing
your flamer into the mass of
the mob that's consuming the crushed meat.
I'm gonna leave a snail trail
of fire. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, totally, totally. Uh, just
roll a damage result for me, because
you auto-hit, the way the rules work.
I'm shooting the floor, I would hope I auto-hit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You miss the ground.
Don't start.
The ground died. Oh, yeah.
You, you just
crisp up a bunch of them. In fact,
uh, five of them
just all immediately die under
your flamer as you wash it over
them. Back! Back, I
say, back!
And there's, like, shouts and
screeches from them, but most of them
don't take note, uh, of
their comrade's plight, and they just keep
eating. Alright, uh,
you've now got the, um,
the rattling and old lady to the gatehouse.
The rest of
you have sort of cleared the path to
the gatehouse, or dealt with
more of the mob. Uh, we kind of
come back to the top of this initiative order.
Who wants to go first now?
I, I'm actually gonna ask,
can I take it first real quick?
Sure can. Go for it. Yeah. Um,
so, when that,
I'm gonna ask, did Reeb see
the soul, I mean, obviously we all saw the soul shaker
fly away and season a meatball.
Um,
does the guy it came from have
any more attached to him? Are they, are they,
like, a bandolier of salt shakers?
Yeah, he's got, like, salt, pepper,
some home spices. It seems
there's a couple different ones. You can
see that amongst the larger mob
too, there are, um,
there are a few of
those, probably three, that
have those kind of spices on them as well.
Shit. Um,
right. Gentlemen, I believe
I have an idea.
Tell me your genius plan.
I've left some very crispy meat back there.
Uh, I'm going to get this,
this one out of the way. Can you pick up his shakers
after I knife him and throw them at that
pile of charred corpses?
With pleasure.
Very good. I'm going to charge
at the one that had thrown
the shaker, and I'm going to attempt to fillet
him like a fish. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Give me, uh, give me an attack roll.
Okay, give me that attack roll.
Roll. Bam! Holy fucking shit.
Holy shit. That's, that's a
crit, which will, it will hit,
so you will, you will crit.
Uh, this is not a, a,
standard troop, so
your crit effect will go off.
Um, so,
can you roll me a d66
please? Nice. A 53.
Overpowering
assault! A stunning blow
sends the foe lurching away,
senses blurred by the brutal impact.
Uh, target suffers
1d6 shock and is staggered.
You can then spend additional glory,
uh, to add to
the shock, uh, for every
glory you spend. So I'm
gonna shift 1 for damage,
uh, cause I believe I can do that here.
No, cause, uh, you, you do
not have, you wouldn't hit if you shifted,
so. Okay, nevermind then. Yeah. I thought I,
I thought I had enough, but I missed them. I thought I did it wrong.
I'm sure you slaughtered him regardless.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, roll me a d6. We'll see what happens. Let's see how much shock
you do, cause the shock on these will be, oh,
good lord. Um,
that's gonna be 8.
You, you shiv into
with an AP minus 1 with your
mono sword, um,
and the shock, the shock,
is just gonna end him anyways. Can you,
can you describe how Reeb
just has the flamer sort of lowered in one
hand and then comes with the, the, the
knife and ends this rattling?
Basically, I'm skipping backwards with the
flamer, and then I motioned
everyone to, uh, the plan I have, and then I
just quickly pull out the mono knife and just
nonchalantly stick it in the ribs and
then hoist him up for someone to take this,
the shaker out. I, uh. Yeah.
There's just like this.
If I can go next.
Uh, well, before
you can go.
I am going to interrupt
with, not interrupt, but I'm going to go with
the, the cannibal horde to see if
they can regain their senses.
So that'll be another willpower test. Again,
difficulty 3 for
this round. Let's see.
Oh!
There is a
complication. Um,
luckily they're made up of
troops, so
they don't complicate, but
they're just
devouring this
meat.
Cube to the last
utter bullshit. It's a lot of compressed meat.
You ever try to eat a can of Spam on
one sitting? It's not easy.
Yeah, and there's like bone bits they have
to spit out and stuff. Ah, yeah, no.
Uh, alright, so is everyone okay
with Lorne going next?
Go for it, old man.
Cool. I then want to use
phantom grip to grab
the salt, uh, one of the salt shakers
from a distance. I got you!
And I basically
cast force to grab it. Did not
kink, thank goodness, and I do
all my extra die to basically
increase the range by 10 meters and
activation moves to an action, so I
can still move if I need to.
And so I just grab it, and I'm like,
so throw it into the pile, right?
The burning, the burning
very nicely roasted promethium
corpses, yes. I do that, and I
kind of use my phantom grip to basically
make it, like, just shoot over.
I'm going to suggest what
your shifted exalts let you do is rip off
all of the different, like,
the pepper, the salt, the spices,
and then they kind of
just float above the bodies
jingling down above them.
Wait, can I do it on all the other cannibals
at the same time, so they're all spiced?
Just...
I'm feeling it'll work
better on the corpses, I think, because
they're already cooked. No, no, it's on the way, and I
season the corpses in all
that. Wow, we are
fucked. Alright, so basically we season the
corpses, and so
but on the way, I'm seasoning the
cannibals. Why are these new
sentences I've never said before?
So... Are you just now noticing?
Like, it's like, yes,
delicious. I'm imagining all of this
happening to shake, shake,
shake, Sonora, as
you are having these just
land all over the corpses.
Oh, gosh. Yeah, yeah.
After I do the core, I'm, like, trying to get the rest of the cannibals
as much as I can with all the extra spices going
on, so I can just hopefully encourage them to eat
each other. They go, like,
you smell pretty good, Jim Bob.
Honk.
Yes, far-thumbed fried ratlings,
seasoned with eleven herbs and vices.
So just so you're aware, what that's going to do
is it's going to
keep the willpower test
going for them to react. So you've
you, the seasoning was about to wear
off because they ate all the seasoned outer meat,
but you've now just reapplied it, and so
they're still going to have to make those tests.
They're going to eat the tasty fried chicken.
Yeah, yeah, okay, so that's the two
of you. Highbrain or
Captain Zedek, who wants to go next?
Shh. No, Captain, my
Captain. Oh, brain,
my beautiful brain, don't you want to kill
some more? I do,
but I also know something
better than killing.
Tricking people.
That is legitimately terrifying to me,
but okay.
Alright, so
around us, we're in a relatively, like,
you know, it's a, are there, like, any trees?
Are we going through, like, a burnt-up forest or anything?
No, no, no, no, you're at
the, at the gatehouse,
of this small fence
wall, that you could
easily just kind of
crawl, like, not crawl, but you could easily
hoist yourself over.
Yeah, you could, like, it would be a
heavy step. You'd have to make some kind of,
like, agility or athletics test
to get over it. There's no way the
ratlings are doing that, so Tater Tot
and, uh, Belba would be on their own.
But the gatehouse is
closed, so if you wanted to admit
easy access for everyone,
you could open the gatehouse.
I have a better idea. I'm going to
take Tater Tot in one hand,
I'm going to take Belba Feet in the
other one, and I'm going
to throw them both
over the gate.
And I'll also, uh, while
I'm at it, I'll also try throwing the
Divine Void of Science.
Alright, so that's going to
be a multi-action, if you want to do
all three of them. It's going
to be three chicks,
so you're going to be at minus
four athletics to each.
Each of those. Okay, uh,
I don't like the Divine Void of Science.
So, okay.
That's fair.
This is
horrendous. So,
would you like to do, throw both of them
at minus two athletics? I would love
nothing more. Abs, tell me which
one you're doing first. Tater Tot,
of course. Tater Tot over the wall.
Okay. Tater Tot.
Fly like a
petarii! Please don't hurt the baby.
Holy shit! Oh my god!
That's an athletics rule.
Yeah. And now
pie brain with the strength of
two men. And you just
hear this glory
as he goes flying
over the fence
and lands on the other side out of
sight. Yeah, presumably there's like a
twinkle in the sky. Yeah.
Whee! Uh, yeah.
Yeet the baby. Okay, um,
and your second check
on Belba. Like, Belba is just
incredulous.
What is this to me?
It is both of us. And, um,
would you like to give me an athletics check
for her as well? I would love nothing
more. You also want to retort to her
about that?
Oh, damn!
Oh, you!
Oh, that was miserable!
You completely
fail. To help people,
hold up, hold up, to help people with that audio.
Pie brain
rolled an athletics check
so badly,
none of the dice succeeded,
and there was a complication.
So, he didn't get any result.
He got a zero, and then continued
the fuck up. Then spent
a wrath dice to bring it up to
four, but the complication remains.
Uh, real
quick, I'm gonna
check our lovely list
of Patreon
contributions,
because I'm sure
there's some
kind of Patreon-inspired...
I know there's a few more that got in last minute,
but if you can't find one, I will
uh, yes, I
will go forth in there and grab
another.
After I put in my
two-factor authentication code.
Oh.
Oh, I like
this one. We're gonna
use this one. This one was
submitted
by Dad, and
is entitled, Put That There.
The player
slips on a banana peel,
sliding forward and crashing into anything directly in front of them and then they are on
the ground for the rest of the round and have lower defense i love this so so you you go to
pick up except i may i may say like yeah no no you go pick up and again this was kind of a hedonistic
area where they were eating on grapes and probably had some bananas here and one of the peels just
got thrown in the corner and vibrating you go and bell bell was just like this domains both of us
and then you you hurl her over the fence after you know kind of struggling on your footing but
your your mechanical foot steps on the peel and you just go sliding and smash into the fence
with a bit of a resounding shock and can i offer a worse result oh god can we have it where like i
just imagine brains holding holding a bell and i i got you i got you here and then it just as soon
as you throw it does that loony do things where belva catches air but gains no distance only
go
up he falls down and belva comes crashing down on him just oh yeah yeah yeah yeah you know um
i i think i think because he did succeed the check and the way the system works is he got he spent
his wrap point he succeeded his goal was to get her over he's gonna get her over but it's more
like rather than hurling her at a distance it's she's on immediately the other side of the fence
like she flew up moved over a meter and then landed on the other side of the fence and he just
crashed down and she's on immediately the other side of the fence like she flew up moved over a
meter and then landed on the other side of the fence like she flew up moved over a meter and she
crashed with this she did a spin my right arm is like still like spinning like 360 degrees in place
like i just i'm sorry i'm having a messed up situation where she comes around a clearly open
area of the fence that we never know you did it wrong
uh captain captain zedek you're you're up next i'm going to attempt a vault over this fence
yeah just
just look back and brain like i understand that you really like the idea of guerrilla warfare but
really bananas looking past him i'll try and jump over the fence don't yeah absolutely please uh
please give me an athletics check to get over this you got it yeah let's see what happened oh
glory so so gains of glory which i think we were spending some glory yeah yeah but captain zedek
the way the way like you are just so swab and devon air and you just turn and they're like
these these menials and then you just you make this like i don't know 80s action tv show jump
over and you know the camera's kind of on you and it's playing some kind of
again 80s themed action music as you jump over and land probably in like a superman-esque way
with your one of your fists planted in the ground and your arc rifle up as you look around
and you realize immediately on the other side of the fence there's another mob of ratlings
that have begun encircling like where belba is and more importantly further up because
got yeeted pretty far menacingly looking at tater tot oh hell no um and that's gonna be the the end
of that round we're gonna come into the next round who wants to go first would you mind if
that's good also this is all right go for it you get to go first now so you see you see there's
another mob probably of about 20 or so of these cannibal ratlings that are that are looking at
tater tot and just like eat the small become the small i don't are they questioning this i don't
think they want to be smaller if you eat the small thing you also can become small
we really just want to avoid a stasis of being philosophically we believe in the
transcendentalation of the self i've got some literature if you'd like to read it
sorry sorry eat the small become the swole there we go that's what they're saying
whatever justification they can make what would you like to do nobody puts that child in danger
but you can't kill him
but me and even then i don't like putting that child in danger i'm going to attack them
yeah what are you attacking them with i am going to lay into them with the arc pistol if by virtue
of them being multiple mobs i will multi-attack it's a mob so you just make the attack and we'll
see what happens let's do it well i got the wrong button and yeah where you get your power sword
well you could spend glory
like to spend a lot of glory to kill all of them like all are going yes i would like to murder all
of the cannibals right you use all glory all six yeah roll uh roll 6d6 for me as as you are divinely
inspired as you fire your arctic pistol yeah just roll your damage and then roll those 66.
okay oh wow you got that oh wow five six additional to your damage that you would have your arc
pistol
oh wee uh yeah you know what i mean like if you kill all of them like i could die and i could hold them.
yeah if you kill them.
yeah yeah so what is the damage on your arc pistol well actually roll the damage result
yes yes roll the damage oh well not your power sword that would be your power so dumb i shoot
my power sword i shoot my sword so so you do 21 points of damage you with one shot managed to just
arc electricity somehow some way over 10 of them and they just start popping like popcorn
and like a decimal become the bump as their heads just explode or they begin to char in place and
shake and fall forward um they kind of they kind of back up a bit and at this point um captain
zedek after you've done that i have to make a resolve test for them because you've
actually done a resolve test for them and you've actually done a resolve test for them
and you've actually done a resolve test for them and you've actually done a resolve test for them
actually taken the the mob below its um its reasonable size now i'm going to roll this and
we'll see if it fails which it does however i am going to spend a rune point so if you'll mark me
down a rune point here i i am going to use an ability of one of the people in this mob now one
of the the people in this mob is a special uh unit called a rattling cannibal chef which has the
ability get them and eat them which is the rattling cannibal can inspire a mob to continue
fighting in spite of horrendous losses if the mob um fails a resolve test they maintain order
and 1d3 members of the mob are slain but the mob still stays in the fight so they also lose so
lost 10 and then they're going to lose once this dice result happens another two as like two of
them run off despite the uh their
chef kind of pointing and going eat a small and so there's only eight of them left to eat the small
if possible i would like to get tater tot on my back before my turn ends
uh you kind of i'm guessing you move up and interpose yourself between tater tot and this
this mob oh 100 percent yeah and this mob will go next and this mob just
just like rushes towards you um and they're now pointing and saying eat the tall and uh they come
at you with their improvised uh eating implements and we will see what happens here uh they will get
uh some some bonus dice on the the attack here just because there's a couple extra of them we'll
see if this matters looks like you're oh
they get a five so they'll be able to shift one exalt for extra damage but they also get a
crit on you so this true thing uh you're right troops don't crit we learned this last session
so i hate you did i wanted i wanted to leave it be but it's up to you no no no no i can't
inflict critical hits so that's okay instead they're just gonna rush at you with their
terrifying weapons and shift and get a bonus damage dice
uh so they're gonna actually get two bonus damage dice we'll see if this this does anything with
their eating implements uh oh wow i fail all of them so they only do seven damage what's your uh
what's your resilience they're kept my resilience is eight yeah so they they just bound like they
come at you and it's like clinking off your armor as they're trying to basically hit you with forks
and the like that they're bending as they poke you no is that all you could muster you putrid
pugilist potatoes now see here's this is this is where it would work better if you were to do this
better is because this isn't the this isn't the fork bob this is the spoon bob
oh we should use your forks okay um so with that mob done we come back to the regular initiative
order what are the uh the rest of you like who wants to go next me and lauren are still on the
other side of that gate are you sure so is pie brain like pie brain didn't jump over himself he
he managed to get belba over but he's still on the wrong side and we also still have the lord
of science huh yeah
who is standing by herself at the gate why why do we care about her again
we'll uh probably get extra points or something for bringing her in for trial or some points
yeah sure why not oh no you've activated him i'm going to brain for the points over
yes i have a better idea i'm just gonna take this fence so are you going to go now yeah yeah go for
it i'm gonna take this fence i'm just gonna lift it
okay just get just cut through yeah you're just gonna lift it up i'm gonna are you gonna lift it
or use your power sword i can honestly just lift it to be honest give me give me a strength test no
no no no no no no give me a strength test no because if i lift it then we can drop it behind
us and we're gonna not be chased by these guys and they recover oh my god it's like one of those
like lift it up usher the others with your hand in it all right yeah god damn all right
i'm gonna say you'd need it's gonna be difficulty five for that it's still like strong wood like
you're going under are you gonna spend a lot we do we do have a lot of glory or glory or do you
want to spend some extra glory glory yeah i'm gonna spend uh three glory on that yeah yeah
roll me 3d6 nice noise you're gonna roll by the arm messiah let this be
defense be lifted you just managed to lift the baby fence the like ground underneath it shutters
and you you lift it up and for some reason i don't know the the bottom is like plastic or
something so as you lift it up it all kind of just like curves up uh you're holding this fence
aloft i imagine the difficulty isn't in like lifting it it's just in not destroying it
locals get tarry almost defeated by baby game and had like the lord of scythe's like
oh thank you do not ever talk to me oh okay i just like as soon as you said that your voice
got distorted like a darlek or whatever from doctor hood i do not interact it's it's just
dial-up tones just angry the cannibal horde on this side is going to once again make a little
power test to see if they can get their life together oh
fail again so they are still now that they've been provided new spices they're still just eating
they've got delicious roasted meats not yet
uh lorne and frebe who wants to uh you got any plans zoran not much rather you go ahead
all right uh so again i'm gonna do that little bit or i'm going to skip backwards and fire some
more okay yeah absolutely
so um give me an attack roll because you still have to make the the attack roll i realize this
you auto hit but you can still complicate yeah oh no you don't complicate cool that's good
yeah you you just light up a whole bunch of the ratlings who like begin
uh what is there can i shift anything off of this oh you could shift all three
actually two of them two yeah two because i need yeah so i will shift two and that'll be two bonus
dice on your uh or your damage roll floosh floosh oh yeah so 12 yeah that's that actually murders
six of them who scream out in agony and the others are still heedless of their comrades as they eat
and in fact i'm assuming lorne that as the before the the power ends i don't know is is is it sustained
your
shaky shake spell you're are you continually seasoning after i don't have i because they're
already dead in a ball i don't really need to sustain it not the crush not the crush i'm
talking about the uh the hand ability you used what was it the last telekinetic hand kind of
yeah are you still like maintaining them shaking or is that just a one and done
yeah i could i could maintain it it cost me nothing yeah yeah yeah so absolutely
oh oh yeah there we go phantom grip yeah yeah okay um yeah and you you just kind of cause it to
shake and as as more charred corpses are added to the pile they keep advancing with the spices
moving with them to keep the charred corpses spiced as they keep eating yeah that's that's
horrific i like that uh lord get in any last actions we're leaving uh this is at the end of
a round uh reeb you're you're like moving under the the held up fence um and then lorne
it is your go what would you like to do so you're gonna head to the other side is there anything
else you want to do uh i assume there's no major obstacles in front of us right so you can go under
the fence uh which would only leave pie holding it and then you'd be on the other side where you
see captain zenik being assailed by a small mob of ratlings with various utensils okay so i just
hold up the fence for brain to go through i can just go through it myself okay and so basically
as soon as i see a horde of ratlings at this point right i mean it's a diminished horde it's like
eight of them now okay i'll just take care of the rest then don't worry captain i'll take care of
this and then i do the same thing i always keep doing crush on all of them just multi-targeting
them and that is a nine uh you hit the mob
you hit the mob
you hit the mob
absolutely you can shift all three of them i said one additional damage die which will
have that and then boop not the additional damage i didn't do anything but you know i still do 10
damage you will crush four of them that will like again you grab one begin crushing it into a ball
i grab like four of them i just just knocked them together at this point to just throw them in
anybody else yeah they fully it's not how crush works but still i'm having fun yeah yeah yeah it's
it's a narrative that's what this game's about okay yeah totally so they the the remaining ones
they're still in in it to win it so to speak uh next combat round uh tater tot is cowering behind
the divine lord of science has moved through belba has got up and is looking around uh next
combat round who wants to go first uh
zed you want to get out of the pile uh i mean i'll carve my way out of the pile like i thought i was
going to so by all means sure captain zedic boop all right we have the hey gentlemen weird
times are waiting and we must get through this as quick as possible uh i'm gonna i'm gonna hit
him like fucking trunks hit him i'm gonna cut these potatoes up let's go yeah yeah
and you
i don't know
i don't know
but still you can roll d66 please do it 2d6 sure i will do that six of two six
six is 45 visceral blow crimson showers the ground the battlefield is a gory specter away
if it isn't already i've spilled blood and unshared footings the target suffers one mortal
wound it's a mob it only has one each character engaged with the enemy is a mob it only has one
of them
it's like a
uh
damage will be enough. You might need to spend, uh, yeah. You'll need to spend 2 glory if
you wanna, like, off the rest of this mob.
Would you be okay with me spending some glory to, uh, nothing personnel, these
guys?
Sure!
Of course!
Yes. Oh no, I have a kitty who's come into the office. Oh no, kitty, no!
I will blow the d6s.
You don't have to.
No, no, no, with the glory, with the crit effects, your glory just grants you immortal
wound for every glory you spend. So you just murder them.
Ha! Nothing personal, Rattley.
Now give me a, as you say that witty line, please give me a, an agility test.
Oh my god, please fail.
Please fail. Please fail.
Come and you slip on a banana peel too.
Yes! Nothing personal, Rattley, and then you slip on their blood.
Yeah!
I'm about to say though, like, paint the battlefield red, like, that's like
putting a hat on a hat at this point.
Yes, yes it is.
I just, I just imagine that it was just one pistol, all kind of swaggering
up with nothing personal, whoop, and then just like, sideways slip and bam.
Um, and as, as that happens, I will go with the other mob, uh, who is still
consuming the corpse ball, and let's see if their willpower is enough to succeed and get
them out of this dire situation that they're in. I've pressed a button, we will see if
it loads.
It is not, good god!
I am, I am terrified.
I am terrible with dice, apparently. Uh, so they just continue like, the salt shakers
now having fallen, and them like, just going, going to town on those corpses. Who wants
to go next?
Hungry, hungry halflings.
So I must ask, how much of this mob is even left?
Uh, so the, so, so there's, there's no mobs that you can see on the outside of
the fence, but you haven't really advanced beyond just the outside of the fence. The
inside, there's still a good fifteen of them that are chewing on corpse, well, sorry, 15
ten of them that are chewing on corpses.
So for, I'll, I'll go and kind of help Captain Zetik up, and then just start having
everyone move up, and like, grab tater tot, let's go!
Okay.
I always stumble my back.
Organizing people.
I'm just really just getting everyone to go, at this point.
Okay. Uh, Pybrain, would you like to drop the fence and go on the other side? Or
Yes, I'm going to drop the fence, go on the other side. Could I also make an interact
action?
What would you like to do?
I would like to, now that we are mostly clear and the other hordes are distracted,
I would like to place my hands together and begin chanting the Shroud Psalm to hopefully
give us some sort of, uh, mysterious ability to be unseen as we proceed forward.
Hmm. All right. All right.
Ah, yes, robot magic.
What kind of skill are you looking to give me for that?
I'm looking to use tech, perhaps.
I'm looking to use tech, perhaps.
Perhaps to, uh, allow a blink.
Not your tech skill!
I'm the Mechanicus guy, it's all I have!
Perhaps to, uh, engage in a supplication to the Omnissiah utilizing my own audio
emitters.
Okay, so, to help increase his chances, can we all start saying 0101, or however
we want to say it in general with this?
Like, all of you are just wrong?
As he does this? All right, everyone get ready.
001.
001.
001.
001.
001.
001.
001.
001.
001. 001.
001.
001. 001.
001. 001. 001. 001. 001. 001. 001. 001. 001. 001. 001 001. 001. 001. 001 001 001. 001. 001 0001 001 001. 001 001 001. 001 001 001 001 001 001. 001 001 001 001 001 00. 001 001 001 001 001 001 001 001.
One, one, zero, zero, one and zero, zero, row, row, roll your fucking dice, one, one, zero,
zero, zero, do your tech tests...
représ.
.
.
Ah, toll 아.
What the bloody hell are you doing?
I will allow this
I am gracious but that will be a narrative
declaration please please spend
a wrath point for that
you did get a wrath point back by the way
so now you still have one left
oh lovely thank you
good job chat
and then give me a text
toll the bell once
one Messiah
one Messiah
that is a success with like every
dice on that succeeding in two of the
five dice being
that is a seven total for him
yeah so somehow you
like manage to use
your augmenters to
bend the nearby
space that starts to get
a bit wavy and
causes like visual receptors
of people outside the area
to almost gloss over you a bit
you can tell that you're
having an effect on
the masses
nearby with this
motor force may power
down the organic weakness
of lessers as the Omnissiah
praise
the Omnissiah he guides
our steps
what the bloody hell
are you doing fucking nerd I keep going
yeah yeah
absolutely Reeb you're up
Reeb you're up last so you're on the other
side they've kind of dealt with the mob
immediately on the other side everyone's
there what are you wanting to do
um so that watch
tower that was at the side of the gate right
on the other side uh can I
see any support structures leading up
to it like a leg
uh yeah yeah there's like a there's basically
a small wooden ladder
on either side of the tower
I mean like something supporting the ladder
up because well I kind of want to
like be petty and torch one of the
supports so it falls back on the mob
behind the gate oh absolutely
you can do that that would
um be an attack
roll of course you'll auto
hit but hey
yeah you you know you
might you might do extra well you might
complicate that's the only thing no you'll
you'll you'll crit uh which which doesn't
really happen with a flamer but hey
hey um give me a day
does it give him a glory as well I
think I
you know that's something I need to read up on
because flamers technically don't roll the hit
but also
yeah it's weird because they don't roll
the hit but also that would mean they never roll an event
so I have concerns
um I will read I'll just I'll just
roll normal damage yeah roll roll roll normal
damage oh yeah
uh you you light that
thing up and it just
just
goes up like a tinderbox
uh and what you can see
as you do that behind you
you start seeing the forms
of several different
uh rattlings moving
towards you they seem kind
of oblivious to your exact location
but you gather there's at least
another three to four
dozen
and uh I'm gonna give you
guys just a few seconds to discuss while I
quickly let this cat out so that
chat isn't like kitty
it's a bit late for that
reeves reeves just kind of like standing
there with his eyes just glittering with the
fire in the background
uh yeah so
what the hell like we're just we're
just gonna like keep running down the road aren't
we and we're just gonna hope that there's nothing
else down the road right I'm heading
to where the last location was
of that tech priest's corpse
and stuff so we can hopefully
it is to the north it is the northern
hills
it's to the northwest it is
I can show you
the way I'm
useful you see
it's not all white dwarfs
some of it's up here and she taps
on her noggin the old divine
lord of science say I told you
she could be useful
yeah
for now yeah just until
she's not
that's for the inquisition to decide
stop being menacing for half a
moment please
look did you
wait wait wait
I'm menacing she turned
those things in the fucking feet
people like the fuck
yes and she's old enough to date you
so that makes her infinitely less threatening
that makes no fucking
sense she
you turned people into
meatballs
why would you say that
because you're fucked up is what it is
you turned a man
into a cube
you turned a man
into a cube
I
was simply trying to fix a
problem it isn't a
problem they are made that way
you experimented on them and you
will stay with us or you will pay for
your crimes against the Imperium
well give me an intimidate check captain
I would be happy to I don't like her I
don't like her oh for God's sake would you like to spend a wrath die please
don't please don't be defeated by the old woman and would you like to spin like
five glory so you don't make us look bad
yes holy crap I would just jump in and kill her
I would just jump in and kill her
I would just jump in and kill her
I just love the idea that if you fail
terribly she just looks at you an old
woman
all right all right all right so
yeah do you want to do you want to throw some glory on this
I would be happy to throw some glory on you
how much glory
do we need all
do you trust yourself
yeah I'll unfuck myself
wow okay there you go
five six
now do your own
because you spit your ass
there you go so now you have one two three four five six seven eight you you got an eight total
all right now we don't look dumb
so so here's what I'm going to say happened you you have that excellent delivery captain
Zedek and the Defined Lord of Science just again looks at you with old person look like
completely unimpressed how do you retort to that that cast her what do what do you say
we have logs of evidence that say that they're gonna kill her sometimes but you always kind of
work a little bit on it and then you kind of as you move on and you kind of I think I'm gonna
kind of I'm gonna we're gonna we have logs of evidence that say that she's was a girl
and I think that she must have run from her shoulder I don't like everything she's ever done
and I think that she's not gonna kill her she's always Valera they're always talking it's like okay we're this person who's the best
everything you've done.
If you think being eaten alive
by these rattling cannibals
is the worst thing that could happen to you today,
by all means,
we could just hand you over to the Inquisition tomorrow.
Okay, I'll go with you.
Yes, yes, you will.
Okay, I fucked up.
You're a nice little boy.
Zadig, you impress me.
The Omnissiah is truly with you this day.
You know, I'll take the...
Become the tall.
Oh, dear.
Gentlemen, we have a situation.
Keep going, keep going.
Are they running at us,
or are they just, like, advancing really slowly?
They have now looked through the Shroud Psalm
and noticed, like, at least some outer edges,
and another mob is forming by you.
We're at the start of a new round.
Who wants to go first in this new round?
And we need to keep moving along
to the north.
Let's go!
And I immediately...
You know, that's what I'm going to do on my turn,
is just keep going.
Okay, so you're just going to, like, double move away?
Yeah, just keep running.
Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.
So you start making way,
and as you do so,
it's very clear that you break out
of the defensive barrier of the Shroud Psalm,
and some of these Rallings notice you, Lorne,
making a break for it,
and they rush...
They rush at you, a whole group of them.
Looks like five of them make their way towards you
with their little implements,
their forks and their knives out,
and you just hear,
Eat the toe, become the toe,
and they just rush towards you
and crit you,
but they can't crit because they're troops,
but they will hit you.
So many crits that don't apply this game.
We're going to run out of crits at this point.
I know.
It's like I'm sending so many troops at you.
And then they will shift you for damage,
because why not?
And we'll see if this even matters.
Oh, wait.
You can do it, I believe.
I press.
Wow, they do ten damage.
What's your resilience?
Six.
So you take four wounds from that.
Would you like to determination that?
Sure would like to.
Because I didn't know Rattlings were right in front of us.
I thought they were behind us.
I'm just going to do a little determination, boop.
I succeed both.
Oh, thank God.
So you only take two.
Yeah, I only take, uh, yeah, I only take two.
So you're wounded now.
And like, so, so to set the scene after the little regroup outside the fence,
after Pybrain dropped it, you all have this quick conversation.
And then Lorne's like, we have to keep going.
And Lorne breaks off from the group, breaking out of the Shrathzalm.
All of these deranged eyes turn to him and this group of Rattlings,
has now descended and begun like stabbing him in the thigh with knives and forks.
Arrgg!
My penis!
I am going to run forward from the group and gonna drop the Shrathzalm.
Don't give a fuck about it.
Take out my power sword, rush in front of brain, or in front of brain, Jesus, in front
of Lorne.
And I am going to try to get ahead of him.
Cut off the head of whoever's malicing him and cry out, come and fight me if you're hard
enough.
Glory, I sentence you to death.
And then the awkward silence as we wait for roll 20.
He's like, come on, come on, roll 20.
Don't get ahead of yourself.
I don't believe it.
There we go.
You definitely hit roll.
Give me a damage roll.
I would love nothing more.
More narrow than I would have liked.
But, you know, not in terms of damage, at least.
Yeah, you lop off one, stab through another two.
And as you are doing this sword play,
I'm going to let you make an intimidate check
as an interaction to lower their morale.
So that'll be opposed to by their resolve.
But give me an intimidation check.
Okay, cool.
I'm going to spend some glory on this, probably.
But I'll roll it, see if I need to.
Roll it first.
You do not need to.
And you actually gain the party glory in the process
with your four.
Yeah, you've caused them to sort of shirk back.
Their attention is wavering.
They're like, eat the troll.
I'm like, put it down.
Does metal count as toll?
I don't know.
And they're very confused as to whether or not they can eat you.
I am brain, alpha of pie squad.
Your end has come.
Alpha of pie squad.
Reeb or Zedek, who wishes to go next?
You got a plan?
Yeah, I have a little bit of a plan.
Unless you had something you'd like to do.
I will let, will going last affect your plan?
No, it won't.
Okay, then I will go then.
Okay.
The ones that are approaching from the back,
just so we can have like a little bit less of an encircle,
because encircles suck.
Well, you know, I'm going to toast them.
So, so pies drop the fence.
So you could like stand, I guess,
because the fence is enough for you to like look over.
Are you just going to kind of use it like a barricade
and shoot over the fence on the other side?
Well, I primarily want to get rid of some of the more guys
that are menacing us.
I really just want to stop being encircled,
by these things.
Yeah, sure.
Give me a, give me an attack roll on the group
on the inside of the fence there.
All right.
Yep, course.
Okay.
Okay.
So you're good.
You're still going to hit, you're going to,
you're going to torch the remainder of them.
Because there were only a couple.
We roll an eight.
We've got a complication.
Yeah.
So real quick, can you roll me a d6 Reeb?
Flash one d6.
And then roll me another d6.
Okay.
So 2d6 is what you mean?
Yeah.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I, I, one of them's d6.
One of them's 2d6.
Okay.
You have to go through the, uh, table.
And you go and you just unleash with this, uh, this fire.
And as, as you, you wash over with flames, then you hear this, like, clunk sound.
It's not like you're out of ammo, but something is jammed in your flamer.
Oh, I, okay.
So it's like a something.
Yeah.
It's jammed in the solid crap.
So it's jammed, huh?
Yeah.
Uh, Reeb's still going to watch the fire just kind of wash over things.
And he's gonna muse to himself.
I wonder if I should take up low sticks.
That's, that's the rest of what you're referring.
And like the, the camera clearly pans away to like these smoldering corpse of two dozen
or so ratlings and just a bunch of salt shakers that have all fallen on the ground in a weird
haphazard pattern after being smoked.
I mean, they're all in a different pattern after being psychically levitated over them.
Uh, good job.
You've murdered a whole mob of them.
Uh, okay.
Reeb's smiling.
Reeb's smiling.
Captain Zedek, you're up.
I would like to move up with the rest of the party.
Although am I able to get Tater Tot up my back so I have something to cover my ass?
Uh, yeah, you can like, you can heft up Tater Tot.
No problem.
He's a big, he's a big boy, Ben.
I'm a strong boy.
I can handle him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I won't even make you do a strength test.
I'm just going to say it's going to apply a penalty to any kind of animal.
I'm a strong boy.
I'm a strong boy.
I'm a strong boy.
You want to do this right?
Oh, okay.
You got a little chonk boy on you.
Tater Tot, I need you to stay close so you don't get eaten up by your kinfolk, I don't
want to call them that, but if they come close, you stab them, use that glory.
Like a gorilla.
Like a gorilla and you're doing such a good job climbing.
Just keep killing them.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
You got a little chunk boy on you.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
You got a little chunk boy on you.
Oh, oh, oh.
you stab them.
Use that glory.
Like a gorilla, and you're doing such
a good job climbing. Just keep
killing them if they get close.
And I'm going
to move up with the rest of the party.
Yeah.
So, up ahead,
the two that are up ahead are
Lorne, who was attacked by this mob,
and then Pybrain has gone into the mob
and started slashing and kind of
cowed them back with some
shouts.
Yeah, would you like to try to
attack them as you're moving up?
I'm going to do my best
to attack them with this hefty child on my back.
I'm going to zap them
with my zappy gun.
Yeah, pull out your
archpistol and pew pew!
You'll
strike, please roll damage.
Gotcha.
Nice!
You pop the heads of
three of them with
16 damage
and a 6 on the result.
And there's like this sizzling
sound as three of them
collapse, and the others are still
very shaken by this. At this point, they actually have
to make a resolve test
break. So let's see if
that happens.
Oh!
I roll no successes,
so the mob just
starts breaking. They run
in all directions.
All hubris rewarded
to eat the toll!
We are so good
at killing them!
I have problems
with that statement, but I'm really glad
we are good at killing them right now.
We should get going fast.
There's more of them coming.
And like, in the background, you still hear this droning.
Eat the toll,
become the toll.
And it's this massive
sound that is getting closer and closer.
We need to get to that
craft ship.
We have to keep moving here, gentlemen.
Quickly now, quickly, we are running
out of potential time of
survival. Now let's, I suggest
we make breakneck speed as quickly
as we can.
We spread.
Yeah!
So at this point,
you're able to get through.
You've made it through the fence. You're into
the town proper, but it has, this
section of the town, kind of that
southwestern area, hasn't been,
hit by the greater swarm
of the cannibals. So you've managed to
rush your way out. And I think
at this point, it's probably a good point
for us to take our break for the day.
We'll take a quick
three, five-minuter, come
back, and then we will go on to the next part
of this adventure. Sound good?
We'll be back in about five to ten minutes
here at chat. Stay tuned for
more warhams and more slaughtering
of ratlings.
Warhams!
As the
intrepid group of heroes,
accompanied by the Divine Lord of Science,
Belba Creepfoot, and Tater Tot,
make their way
out of the capital.
They manage to pick up
several ratlings along the way
with them who are not affiliated with the
cannibals. A group
of about
four additional ratlings, very
much the guards of the capital, which
has now fallen completely to this
onrushing horde from the north.
The Divine Lord of
Science, she provides you guidance,
on where to go,
directing you to the northwest.
Yes, it's up there.
Go up that path and, well,
we tucked
the lander in the
hills there, but then we decided
when we were going to stay here,
we blew it up.
How much?
Well, there's a couple
things we kept, just in case.
There's a long-range
communications device up there.
That's all that matters.
Literally all that matters.
Now, I was
never able to get it to work,
because
we murdered the tech priest,
well, the engines here, and so
we weren't really able to get it working,
but, but,
well, someone else may be
able to get it to work.
Brain?
Indeed. I will take
this duty happily.
Don't worry, Brain. Without
our powers combined, we can make
it into anything, if only
if we try. Oh, bloody hell.
We're going to be stranded here, aren't we?
I would suggest not turning the ship
into an erector set this early on.
Don't worry!
If we die here, at the
very least, the divine lord of science
will also die.
So there you go! Win-win.
Let's go. And I'm going to go
and try to find this transmitter.
And you're carrying on up the path
towards this, and like, as you're
walking there, Belba Creepfoot
just sort of comes up to
Reeb and Zedek, and
so, it looks like
you succeeded in your mission.
Well,
for a given definition
of succeeded, yes.
Partially.
You did well. It was a sneaking mission,
and you did well.
Did we?
Uh, look, Zedek looks back
at the burning city slowly collapsing
on itself.
I have some doubts.
I knew this was gonna happen.
What?
Reeb's gonna look at Lorne and
Pie as they're working on
the thing behind them.
Well, we have to escape, is
the other part of it, and right now
I don't think we're doing a terribly good job of that.
It was the nobles.
They got too
lazy.
Rattlings of this planet, we need to be
hard, sterner stuff.
That's what I've been
telling them. I think,
I think those aliens were putting stuff in our
water.
Uh, things in your
water, you say? The aliens. It always
comes back to the aliens. Yeah.
Didn't you see the picture in my home?
Please don't. The one with the sailboat in the sky?
Don't do this to me.
Please don't do this to me right
now.
And she just, she just like,
just keeps speaking
about this, and you're all like,
uh, uh, uh.
Um, and you find yourselves
making your way. It's a conspiracy.
There's spice in the water.
Yes.
They're flavoring the meat. They put
salt in the water.
They're making our salt. They put salt in the water
to make the Rattlings hungry.
They're demons.
Keep going, please.
And, and you, you
make your way up the path,
and Belba's, Belba's just like,
spouting this off, but you did good
in there. You've
proved that you're, you're capable.
Please explain what these
rabid nonsensicals are
coming from the north. I don't think I've seen that
kind of, um,
hunger
before. I, I don't know.
I, I don't go up north that
often. Uh, there's just other
settlements there. I popped
up, I popped up, and I sensed there might
have been some sort of, uh, you know,
psychic disturbance with them.
I don't think I should be really off with them.
And I just, you know, fiddling with wires,
and I have no idea what I'm doing, so I'm just
putting red and blue together.
Don't do that!
Ah! Here we are! And you've,
you've reached the top, the top of this hill.
It sort of winds around.
And as you've reached the top of the hill,
you, you see,
like, just debris strewn about.
Metal plates, there's some rocks,
there's a, basically like a
collapsed over cave
network, and
what looks to be this
large
device
that's standing
almost pristine,
um, it looks like a gramophone,
and it's just
on a box
at the edge of this hill.
Gramophone, huh? Please, please tell me that's
not it. Ah, there
it is! Oh, fu-
Long
range communication!
...
Zedek, for a moment, eyes
his gun longingly. I look
back. Alright.
Tell me. What's the
distance on this baby?
Well... Is it two fucking feet?
I don't know! Hold on, Lon!
I'm a different kind of science!
Lon!
You are tripsing
on the precipice of tech heresy.
We have no idea what this STC
might contain.
Please, tell me if it... Metal!
It makes my ears bleed.
Madam. Zedek, this could be
the product of a far-flung forge world.
It merely looks like a gramophone. Oh, no!
Oh, no!
One of the ratlings who's kind of
joined up with your motley troop
stands near the edge of the
immediate dip, looking
down to the valley you
snuck into. Oh, no!
Is it one of
our Lookout Sir rats?
Yes! Yeah, these are-
Oh, thank god! All of these new
ratlings that have appeared
are Zedek's new devotees, of course.
Wait, can we have all the ratlings
just hop it up for what, uh,
for Captain Zedek? Can we all have them, like,
with, like, looking like Patsy from
Monty Python? With, like, the PVC
pipe fucking bags
on them? They just
fall around and go like,
Captain Zedek!
Yeah, yeah.
The new mashed potato platoon
is mostly made up of the,
the, like, surviving guard
ratlings from the capital.
But one of them is at the
outer edge of, sort of, this
depression that leads
down to the valley that you came in from.
And it just is, like, pointing,
Oh, no! They're coming!
They're coming!
Ah,
damn!
And you just hear,
Eat the Toll! Become
the Toll! And it's echoing
through the entire area.
I come over, and I kinda bring a hand
up, and what do my psycher eyes
see?
Uh, yeah, here, I'm going to, uh,
to move to a battle mat
that's gonna show you what you immediately
see.
Ooh.
So, you see, two,
two large
mobs of ratlings
have started making
their way down this
path, but further beyond these
ones, you see even
more of them. They're
there must be thousands
of them, and they're
chanting, and far off in the
distance beyond the chanting
rattling horde,
you, you see the, the capital
still ablaze as evening
is starting to set in on the planet.
Um, and then, yeah,
as I've said, down here, there is the, the
gramophone communications
device, uh, all scattered
around. Fuck you, dude.
It's all scattered around her,
uh, various ratlings. Belba's here, the
divine lord of science is here.
Um, we're gonna go right back into
initiative. This is definitely less of a free-form
combat, more of a, oh, god combat.
I'm just imagining, in Uruk-hai, there's a
Gentlemen,
I don't think
I, uh,
I don't think it better
be.
And I should point out, um, in
goddammit, in the hordes
here, uh, you'll notice that each of these
these blocks of, of, uh,
ratling cannibals, there are, uh, three individuals
that are different. Um,
I will quickly pull up the lovely
art pieces for these.
Uh, the,
this one right here,
uh, these are the servers.
So, along with their weapons, they have
the salt shakers and pepper
and all sorts of spices that they
can utilize. So you'll see
two of them with the groups, and then
in addition, you also see
at the heads of these groups, almost, uh,
almost like some sort of unit
leader, if you're, you know, 40k
familiar. Uh, you also see
the, the chefs
that are standing at the front with,
with butcher knives
and, and schmocks that have this strange
circular emblem.
Oh no, they're not just assault troops, they're a pepper
troops too. They have special weapons
and a sergeant.
Oh no.
Which, I, I want to point out that in that
first encounter, Arendelle's like,
they have salt shakers, they have more.
Oh shit, there's the special weapon
troopers. Yes, yes, now you
see this in, in glorious babble.
Uh, specials. Who wants to
go first? I
will, because I'm going
to walk up and examine
this long-range communication device we need to get out of here
right now!
Alright, um,
give me a tech check. I would love
nothing more. Yes, yes.
Just give me a tech check. Can you please
take, can you please take the, the
the dice so we actually win? Yes.
Oh, you son of a bitch.
You complication.
Yes! Do I
pass at least?
Does, does he call orcs instead?
Uh, yes.
Um. There's a, there's a call queue.
Oh.
Hi, thanks for calling the debt collector.
We're currently busy with ongoing
customer service issues.
Could you please call back on a later day?
Son of a bitch! Your call may be
recorded for trading purposes.
Um.
For trading purposes.
Oh, oh, I want
to thank one of our, oh
gosh, thank you. Oh.
One of our lovely
patron complications.
I want to point out that this, this
complication just starts with
anything technological, period.
Um.
You have made the machine spirit
angry and it refuses to function.
You must spend one
turn begging its forgiveness.
For your transgression.
So you go to activate
this gramophone.
But it just gives you, like, I don't know, the,
some...
Dial up.
You're calling Jerry Horton to us.
Let a, um,
sound.
And you're just like, why, why, why?
Wait, as he's calling it,
wait, please.
Because it's a megaphone, like, there's like a crank in the side
that keeps, it has to keep cranking it. Yes, oh yeah!
Yes.
Sobbing.
It's just making this, like,
sound-esque.
No, you're, you're hearing Pop Goes the Weasel.
It's all of these suggestions
at once. At once.
And it's just this cacophony of sound
that is awful and you've displeased
this machine spirit
by, by your actions.
Um, how, how is
my brain going to spend
the rest of the round pleading with
this machine spirit of this
long-range communication device?
Okay, so my first question is,
did my check at least
work, or do I have to spend glory?
Uh, your
check gathers no further,
uh, further, um,
success on this. You would have to spend
glory in order to... We have four glory
available. I'm going to drop four glory
with the permission of the crew.
I'm good with it. Go. Go for it.
We need to leave.
Yeah, absolutely.
Wacky wacky.
Oh! And they all fail!
Oh, sad. Sad day.
Uh, like, and it's just
da da da da da da da da da da...
da da da da da da da da da...
It's just a giant
middle finger, but it turns into
an angry dubstep at the end of it.
Um,
so, so yeah, you're gonna have to explain really quick,
brain, how are you, like, pleading with this
machine after you've spent all of your
personal capital hoping to coax it it's still doing nothing i must i see i have upset the
machine spirit its original benefactor is buried under the ground i'm gonna march up to the divine
lord of science and grab her by the throat what forge world did your agency come from
we must make amends with the machine spirits okay uh i will end that there and then i will
activate uh i'll activate this mob here
as they like advance in march step down towards you you see you see thirsty yes conversation we
had before making this entire thing and testing out characters i really fucking regret not being
a pyromancer
you
yeah i know some kind of wall made out of fire would have been so useful
but we will do what we can uh who would like to go next i would like to go up to
brain if you would allow me to
i would i would like to go next because i'm right there
oh yeah go ahead go ahead so i i have a i have an idea so i'm gonna assume the landscape is
similar to what is being represented on this map correct
yeah so so essentially
so yeah so essentially the the way it is is it's a winding path and there's kind of multi tiers as
the way it is is it's a winding path and there's kind of multi tiers as
the way it is is it's a winding path and there's kind of multi tiers as it's descending down
i try to use any psychic mastery or use crush on the boulders that's to the south of that group and i slam it down but i try
i try to use any psychic mastery or use crush on the boulders that's to the south of that group because
i try to use any psychic mastery or use crush on the boulders that's to the south of that group looked looking like a
okay so yeah i decided what i wanted to do now is just make d context here
boulders that's to the south of that group because i'm because i'm just going to assume
that those boulders are in a high enough elevation to where if i crumble a couple of them or use my
second power to the slot some of them that the bigger boulders come crashing down and at least
take a chunk out of that can you can you ping which one you wanted to do that yeah those ones
there absolutely yeah yeah okay perfect perfect perfect uh yeah give me some crushing all right
cool so i aim to it and i look to my friends teary-eyed and i go i must save them i must save
them i've never had friends before and i never knew what the fight for i shall save my friends
you shall not pass i like the pathetic and it would fail but i'm gonna spin a wrath point
yeah or wrath die to make sure it succeeds with the seven if that does succeed because
is a different test it it absolutely succeeds um so you are you're able to to dislay you crush some
of these rocks which causes the the immense boulders to shake uh roll damage and then
on the crush and then give me a um give me an extra damage dice on that all right so i'm gonna
do okay so what i'm gonna also do is i'm also gonna add in a um a wrath die to it as well
if that's or not right a uh a glory die glory absolutely okay group go ahead absolutely so
so i think you do one bonus die and then boop and one of them to succeed so it's 11 damage total
uh yeah yeah so these these boulders come cool like careening down and one of them uh here let's
see do i have a good boulder sorry for some good free oh gosh no no no this is hilarious i just
want to show you how to do it
i want to like drop in some rocks here and they kind of go careening
they go up to about there and i want to make it as difficult as possible for them to make it like
to slow down their advance so they all don't swarm us in two turns not like that though um
yeah and you just crush six of them as these boulders but one of them manages to like jump
in the way and save this uh this server who they like shove out before these rocks come hurtling
down and they're like oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god
and crush six of them and create this impediment in the middle of the ground and
they they look up all of their beady eyes staring at you lauren and i'll use my movement to fuck off
behind this okay and i'm like yeah they're over there they're coming they coming uh you don't
make it quite there though no i can get like the back basically hi tater tot okay
what happened what's on the other side of that we're trying to make the music box so we can go
hooray don't worry about tater tot your glory will be realized very soon okay
as you hear the the second wave of that moving i'm just uh who wants to go uh that's it's me
that's literally all that's left is me yeah oh i know no wait hold on
my stealth isn't that good who wants to go next lauren or no no sorry excuse me you got a plan
uh i have a plan is it very good maybe uh i'm gonna try to toast them if that's not an issue
i don't think anyone would object to that yeah i've been slugging a vast majority of them
i'm gonna go up here and i'm going to ready my flamer gentlemen we uh either hold this
line or we're stuck here with them so you know i throw a rock at them yes it's very good very very
good i'm targeting i'm targeting right on this one do you read do you have tech uh why would i
need a tech out of here oh i would need to yeah unclog huh
i have i have no points in tech but i have a five without it okay yeah give give me give me a just
the check without uh without the skill totally would you like to spend a wrath die yeah i'd
like to i'd like to spend one of my two wraths so i can re-roll that yeah
let's see there we go there you go yeah so so with a four
with a four you're able to unclog it before you fire and this just gout of flame goes
whooshing out and kills another uh like wave of these ratlings i need to i need to roll the
roastage just to be safe um and oh yeah yeah okay uh 10 actually yeah sorry one of the one
extra would live sorry am i lagging out in a lot of curiosity i'm not sure i'm not sure i'm not
casting no you're good you're good you're good okay and uh yeah you just like again you wash
down a whole group of them and then several of them step forward and kind of take the hits for
the special units because that's how things work in warhammer um and and yeah you just mowed down
a bunch more and your turn you look up and you hear more you hear but then you hear something
strange something accenting
the the eat the toll become the toll you hear this like
crunch crunch crunch creaks of wood and this strange sound and suddenly something appears
on the horizon and you you all witness it approaching it is this immense
oh kind of construct of wood with a hot soup pot on it and a
deranged rattling on top
and it advances down along with a whole new host of ratlings that have
taken up and um reeb i need you to make a resolve
terrific as you see this thing approaching
yep and i rolled and it's taking a minute i'm lagging a bit
oh no it's rolled 20 the servers are kind of taking it now my discord's showing me at 777
uh ms yeah um okay i've rolled rolled maximum so um well you you are you are concerned by what
you um this is this is somewhat shaking
you
gentlemen they have they have they have armored support
they they do have armored support
oh yes there's the beef
uh so so so all of you hear this but none of you are actually like in line of sight
of this thing uh zenek your your go now
i seeing this tower of hell oh yeah
approaching uh-huh well you don't see it yet you you hear you hear that this is the case but you
haven't seen it yet having not seen it but my concern growing i am going to move up to the
communicator okay which will put me in line of sight i imagine yeah then you can give me a resolve
test okay as you let's see this creaking monstrosity of wood
oh it's being slow my apologies
server's gonna hit pretty hard right now so it's like it's like people are trapped at home playing
role-playing games what is this um what's your other action oh there you go there we go captain
captain zedek like you see this how do you not only like steal yourself and are not phased but
how do you turn this around to increase the morale of your group
seeing what is lying before us i turn back to the group and say well gentlemen i realize it's not
the best of situations but trust me we have much bigger things for them than they do for us
just hold them for all of looking at my non-existent watch however long it takes
to fix this communicator brain what are you doing i'm giving it all i've got captain
i'm here with you captain zedek
i put my fist up for a second and i think no i'm putting my fist back down i'm not going to
acknowledge that i also appreciate i'm giving it all i got captain like you're an engineer but
really what you're doing is shaking yeah i am he's really giving it all he's got um okay
zedek uh that was like you all you did was move up to this device do you want to
take an action at all yeah i would actually like to make a can i make a scholar check on it to see
if i can discern what problem it has uh that'd be more tech that would definitely be more tech
you could like do a base intelligence check if you want to try that if you don't have tech but
i have some tech i'm not a brain boy but you know what i'll try i believe in myself yeah
can you coax the machine spirit to be happy
the answer is no the answer is no the answer is
what are you doing can i oh wait we don't have any glory
but it wouldn't really help you and a wrath also doesn't let you re-roll the
the complication is fine either way so i'm out of complications uh from from the lovely list
of patreon donations speaking of which if you want to screw over the players please check out
our patreon so we're gonna go to
a different uh list here uh would you please roll me a d6 captain zed 2d6 you mean i'd just
one just one this is not combat like attack rolly oh one okay uh oh god oh god yes oh no
yes okay okay okay so you are like going up to this this gramophone long distance device
trying to to figure out what's going on with it and the machine spirit of this device is angry
it's cantankerous it it's being meddled with by people who shouldn't meddle with it and as you do
so and are looking and touching it there is a spark of electricity that arcs off of it and
hits you in the wrist and when it does your wrist unlocks and you let go of your arc pistol ah um
um i would like to see you in the next episode of the arc pistol and i'll see you in the next episode of the arc pistol
thank you as as you see your arc pistol uh tumble down onto the ground below tumbling down the side
of this cliff face can you roll me 1d6 and we're going to determine what direction it's going to
go roll for scatter scatter okay and roll d6 for the the distance oh and you see it land just in
and amongst
this like tumble of rocks here as it flies out of your hand
lorn why i have butterfingers help me ah you fuck
um all right that's the end of the first round like the rattling the rattling guards will spend
their turns like picking their noses and just standing there one of them scratches his butt
the
divine lord of science just like looks at you as you're grabbing her and throttling her pie and
she's like i i i think uh he he said he's um ch-ch-ch-charonia that that's the one charonia
charonia do i know anything about charonia
um what kind of skill do you have that you think would be appropriate knowledge wise like some
kind of of scholar
i guess i could roll scholar i mean i'll let you do it tech check but it will be much more difficult
you are killing me five dice versus three dice i'm gonna pick the uh well five dice can become
two dice so what's true yeah so that is true how much glory we got on deck boys
we got two two on deck we got two whole dice i might expend the glory on this i'll roll scholar
so let's go baby let's do it you roll it let's do it yeah that's that that's enough
charonia is a a forge world that that recently like fell and is now known
ironically enough it became a cannibal world
oh
i see
i see
i see
and is now a dark mechanicum
stronghold
your crimes
are more grievous than I thought
and I slap the divine lord of science
why would you do this
but I know a way to fix it
I'm going to walk up to the
communications device
so this is the start of the new round
are you all okay with that
yeah I'm okay with it
we're all gonna die anyway
I'm going to put my hand on it
my friend
you need vengeance
and it will be given to you
I will see
cannibal blood spill upon
thine servils
can I make another tech check
or do I have to wait
yeah absolutely
you've kind of spent the turn
so appeasing it in various ways
learning about it's history
sure give me a tech check
yay
there you go
with a five
so you actually
are able to spend this round
analyzing it
and more importantly
calming the machine spirit
you're gonna have to spend
a bit more time
using this device
to actually set it up correctly
but you've managed to calm
the machine spirit
make it accessible to you
know that your age
shall bring death
to thousands of cannibals
and our friend
of the forge world
shall be avenged
ahem
and with that
there is the
I vote
as the horde advances
I'll have to go after the horde
oh I know the horde has gone
good then I will
I'm gonna line it up
can I line it up like right here
to like make it harder for them
Jesus Christ come on
I don't think it matters anymore
now the new
at this point you just
you just picked our
like you picked our
like you picked our
like you picked our
like you picked our
like you picked our
pick the mob
and you're just gonna
add a set number in the mob
alrighty
I'm gonna
again
make that
make the thing go
fire kaboom blast
go 20 please
for fuck's sake
I believe
I believe in that fire
uh you will hit
uh please give me
just a damage roll
yep
and we will see
how you do it
how many you kill
oh you do
kaboom
you kill many
you kill many
you like to
invest the two
glory die that we have
uh
to kill more
um
I'm gonna see how many
are left afterwards
uh
no
I'd like to save them
because we might need them
to get the
okay
we need to get the
message out
so at this point
um
as as you have like
burned another
another swath of four of them
down with your flamer
from the edge
you can see
they're starting to get
a bit concerned
would be the
the thing
uh they will have to make
a resolve test
so I'm going to make that now
we'll see if
can I
can I make that harder on them
can I advance
after I fire the gout of flame
uh you can
you can move up
like as a move
uh the resolve test
is a result of you
burninating them down
yes I want to make it harder
for them
by being the source of it
and being just like
hello
yeah sure
you can move out
and just like
stand there
stand there
and thus
did we
live
and and somehow
they are
they are
they are a-okay
they are
they rolled
super well
and are just like
eat the tolls
we'd be the first
to eat the tolls
you'll be the first
to roast
you little runt
um
and
that was reeb
so then
the next mob
by the way
I'm
I'm just imagining them
chanting like scathing
as I go like
creep
crap
creep
crap
yes
uh and then actually
because this rock
I have
I have
to move
find the tall
things
yeah
find the tall
things
uh and they
they're running
around the rocks
that you have
tumbled down
and it's clearly
like slowed them
down
Lauren
and you
you see that
briefly
justified in my
actions
I see
yay
I guess
I can go next
to get
Zetikis
fucking gun
yep
all right
so I could
obviously see the gun
where I'm at
right
right
I mean
it's gonna be
a bit more difficult
you'd have to move
to the edge
if you wanted
to like see it
properly
that's fine
okay
I'll just use
my awesome
psychic test
in the middle
of all my friends
where nothing
will go wrong
here's the Nova
boys
all right
so how much
how much more
difficulty is it
I'll increase
the difficulty
by two
okay
how will the eye
of terror react
phantom grip
whoop
I beat it
yeah
hell yeah
so the normal
difficulty
by the way
everybody's that
so I go
whoosh
and I give it
right back to Zetik
in midair
so it's like
here goes
Zetik
I float it to him
so he doesn't
have to make a check
if you're giving
Zet no
he has to make a check
you can float it
to yourself
you can float it
to yourself
yeah but you're not
controlling Zetik's
butterfingers
as we have learned
wait wait
fuck you
can I do
something fun
so I have the gun
with phantom grip
technically
alright so
it's an invisible
set of phantom hands
no I'm still
bringing it up
it's still coming
it's still there
it's gonna float
right by Zetik
and have
no complications
hopefully
can I
use my phantom hands
to point at
the incoming mob
and shoot with his
own gun
on one condition
cause it's Lorne
mhm
I'm assuming
you're shooting
it gangster
sideways style
right
no
like
it's not
hovering there
just for Zetik
to grab
yes
oh that's
that's freaking
great
okay
um
next up
I will go
and
as this thing
rolls up
the side
of the cliff
and crunches
over the metal
and you see
the
horrific
rattling
on top of
the suit
soup pop
contraption
making
his way
towards you
at incredible
speed
wielding
his ladle
like some kind
of terrifying
weapon above
his head
do I have to
now make a resolve
it can scale
balls
yeah now
now you will
have to
as will
uh
pi brain
I forgot about
that
resolve
for both of you
resolve
resolve
the thing
that I click
and completely
forgot
the area
of
resolve
which is in
that thing
which is right
there and there
is the button
I click
I got a four
lord
you are
you are unfazed
by this
like this does not
bother you at all
pi brain
you are seeing
this
what makes it
terrifying
I would love
nothing more
than a spinner
yeah
awesome
please do
oh damn
oh
there we go
this thing has
has very little
metal on it
it's clearly
not a concern
more knockeries
um
who
does anyone else
have left to go
this round
I do
is that a
guess
I would like to
first try to
grab my gun
and not drop it
it's just floating
there
no problems
yeah you can
grab it
yeah
all right
do I have to
make a check
to get it out of
the air
no no no no
okay
it's conveniently
there
for your
fucking
butterfingers
thank you
Lauren
you're welcome
I'll move up
to brain
I want my
run
cleaned
when we get
back
we'll talk
about that
we have a
server for
that
please
no
wow
brain
please tell
me this is
working by
now
I've almost
got it
captain
it is very
mad
in a good way
you see the
download percentage
at negative
like a world of
warcraft patch
back in the day
that's an
obscure reference
that people
will get
faster
oh
,
have no
fear
very soon
you are a
chosen
of the
messiah
by the
emperor's
name
please
just make
it work
can I make
a leadership
test?
uh yeah
you want to
use a
like make
leadership
to make
pybrain do
better
yes
yes
work
gooder
normally
it would be
beating the
machine to
make it
faster
but
pybrain
also works
I need
you to
go to
the
forge
world
for
what
to
get
some
good
go
get
it
now
uh
yeah
the
six
absolutely
um
so
how this
will
manifest
is I
will
give
uh
for
whatever
skill
check
py
has to
make
next
I will
give him
two
bonus
dice
for
this
and
that
is
activating
lemurian
repair
protocols
um
and
then
hmm
and then
another group
begins to
appear in
the distance
I
hate
it all
would I
be able
to make
a shot
at our
wheelie
boy down
there
can I
go first
please
try to
if you
try to
though
um
the
the
difficult
because you
have to
declare
that you're
doing multiple
things before
you do it
so the
difficulty
would go up
for your
previous one
you'd still
succeed your
previous one
it would
just only
give
pie
one
extra
dice
and then
your
difficulty
on your
shot
would go
up by
two
on that
on hitting
the
hulking
no I
don't want
to
forestall
this
fair
enough
fair
enough
fair
enough
can I
can I
go first
actually
because I
am quite
close to
them at
the moment
I
would
sure
no go
ahead
I would
like to
see if I
can get
them out
of the
way or
at least
wounded
enough
where it's
not a
problem
okay
I'm
gonna
try to
finish
off the
mob
I'm
gonna
try to
finish
off the
mob
because
again at
this point
absolutely
all right
and then I
foosh
foosh
foosh
I
foop
yeah foosh
you can't
crit
all right
okay
will that
be enough
to toast
the mob
or do I
need more
that'll toast
the regular
ones in the
mob so you'll
get all four
of these
guys
um
yeah
you'll
probably
need
actually
we only got
two
what's your
what's your
ballistic
skill
my
ballistic
skill
is
I believe
it was
a three
yeah it's
a three
okay
so you've
got six
actually you'll
be able to
get two
more and
with that
damage
roll you'll
off two
more so
you'll get
them the
chef would
still be
alive
we got
two
okay
I don't
want to
spend it
I can
only hit
six
so
yeah
okay
we've kind
of been
undershooting
it but
you know
that's life
uh I
will
proceed to
use this
as an
opportunity
to be
backing up
now because
now it is
getting bad
so I'm
going to
go run
next to
Warren
yeah
that's
a lost
cause
okay
uh I
will
activate
as it
creaks up
and tries
to kill
us all
well he's
gonna the
cannibal
king is
going to
uh
make an
approach
on on
his steed
and will
oh shit
he's going
off road
as as
goes up
the side
and makes
an attack
on the uh
the poor
the poor
rattling in
the way
um
oh he's
gone
uh yeah
I like how
you made
the weapon
not quite
death
roller
yes
yes
he hits
the not
quite death
roller
and crits
him
um so
I'll just
roll
2d6
just so
you all
get to
see the
visceral
nature
of what
happens
to to
one of
Zedek's
companions
who is
standing in
the way
because why
not
um
with both
things
oh my
lord what
happens
ferocious
rending
oh great
the attack
shreds the
opponent's
flesh to
ribbons
leaving them
open to
attack
um except
of course
I'm still
just gonna
make the
damage roll
and we'll
see what
happens
and based
off of that
he's getting
a lot of
shift
no actually
no shift
dice
so just
is going
to make
a base
damage
attack
roll
uh
which is
that just
utterly
obliterates
this poor
rattling
and then
keeps
rolling
up
eat
the
tall
um
and that's
the rattling
kings go
who wants
to go
next
this
round
I think
who all
win at
this I
think I'm
it's it's
started over
I was the
first
yeah
reed reed
was the
first
so so
I can
so on
there's two
things
why I can
try to do
crush at
it in
a hope
I can
just
restrain
it and
then we
kill it
or
if thirsty
did some
banana nut
bar bullshit
to where I
can't do
that
then
I would
rather run
back to
everyone and
do telekinetic
dome and
try to
protect all
of us
to absorb
mortal
wound
shit
and I'm
gonna die
one hit
from that
thing
so
our
our boy
is out
there by
the way
your boy
is out
there
he's
too small
to be
hurt
I don't
think so
so I'm
going to
allow I'm
going to
be support
of the
party this
time I
think I've
had my
moments with
the crushing
so I'm
gonna walk
run back to
my allies
and go I'll
try my best
to help out
please destroy
that thing
before I get
to the thing
brain hurry
and I
will now
then do
the second
power of
telekinetic
dome
basically for
it gives us
resilience
so basically
just sucks up
some damage
and it also
sucks up
any mortal
wounds that
may happen
so basically
it bumps
us up a
little bit
yeah how
wide is
telekinetic
dome
basically I
have to do
a really
good roll
to make it
a little bit
bigger
so
otherwise it's
just on you
so you can
go up to
them and be
like I'll
protect all
of you and
then only
protect yourself
we'll see
okay so
I'm gonna do
that I'm
going to
spend my
last wrath
and hopefully
to roll
some extra
sixes
to make
this happen
so
maybe
oh yeah
there's
there's
there's a
couple more
successes
another six
yep
so that is
going to be
so I only
need it's a
difficulty five
so I got one
two three
four five
so I can
at least bring
up two
which allows
me to
increase the
range to
plus
rank
plus
what means
in range
of the game
the same
protection
I probably
need to do
more research
let's just
say it goes
up by
it's plus
it's plus
one meter
is rank
so if you
move like
there instead
that way
you would
have
you'd catch
I just get
everyone around
me so
anyone who's
adjacent to
me will
now be
protected
and that'll
be
yeah
yeah
yeah
I'm trying
to protect
the box
thing so
I do
that so
that's my
all my
entire action
the entire
turn I have
to do
I just
rush back
and go
whom
so
and the
the chef
comes around
and like
seems to
be fixated
on reeb
as he
pulls out
this butcher
knife
this sole
survivor
of the
first mob
making its
way up
the hill
who wants
to go
next
reeb
I vote
reeb
get in
the bubble
pay attention
reeb's already
gone it's
zedek or
pie brain
who wants
to go
brain
brain no
brain no
zedek and
pie are
the two
who haven't
gone this
round
very well
I will
go
yes
fix it
fix it
fix it
fix it
fix it
fix it
fix it
fix it
fix it
fix it
fix it
I'm like
turn up
fix it
fix it
fix it
fix it
fix it
fix it
fix it
take the
toll
become
the
toll
do the
thing
do the
tech
check
remember
you get
two bonus
you get
two bonus
dice on
the tech
check
I wrote
two
is it six
you got a
glory
yes
we got
another six
happy monkey
noises
wow that's
eight successes
and you hear
this crackling
voice
you've
you've
established
the connection
but there's
a lot of
static in
the way
you've got
to clear
out this
static before
communication
is
you've
got to
get
the
connection
oh
fuck
you
possible
who
wants
captain
zedek
you're
up next
uh
uh
how do I
clear the
connection
oh dear
does
anybody
have any
acoustic
foam
now
I
angle
I
angle
my
stick
and I
angle
my
stick
to
give
it
more
like
here
here
take
my
staff
put
it
on
top
of
the
thing
to
get
better
signal
sure
I
put
it
to
the
communication
device
okay
what kind
of
check
do you
want
to
give
me
to
represent
whatever
the
fuck
it
is
you're
doing
surely
my
knowledge
of
tall
things
make
better
connection
constitutes
it's
tall
enough
what
skill
check
do
you want
to roll
for this
setting
surely
it counts
as
scholar
I
don't
learn
that
big
things
make
tall
things
work
I'm
going to
go over
there
and
knife
all
of
you
I
just
love
this
fucking
view
of like
reed
standing
there
defiant
with the
flamer
as the
three of
you
are
clustered
around
a
fucking
gram
of
fuck
why
do
I
have
the
highest
check
check
of all
of you
wait
wait
wait
wait
wait
it's
it's
stupid
but it's
cunning
can I
make a
cunning
check
oh god
cunning
is totally
not the
skill
but sure
why
not
sure
we probably
would have
got away
with
that
just
roll
me
the
cunning
dice
we'll
see
what
happens
okay
yeah
I'm
gonna
kill
you
you can
you can
yeah
so so
you put
a stick
on top
of it
and
nothing
happens
like
fucker
that's how
it does
work
get
not a
fucking
gram
of
fuck
that's
farting
anything
stupid
works
listen
you guys
have a
whole race
that operates
great now
we're gonna
get more
youtube
comments
the gm
doesn't
let the
players do
anything
my part
was
to stop
for just
a god damn
second
do you guys
focus on
focus on
fixing the
god damn
gramophone
I'm gonna be
over here
dark souls
dodge rolling
this thing
until you
figure it
out
okay
I think
we're done
fucking
around
I think
we just
do a
tech check
to do
the thing
and I'll
have my
stuff
ah fuck
well
ah fuck
you
I've gotta
move all
the other
groups
there's so
many of
them
I still
need to
go before
people's
turns
yeah
except
except
I get to
finish all
of my
remaining
units
because
you've
all
acted
no
I need
oh sorry
sorry
yeah
tater tot
needs to
what's
that
for fuck's
sake
tater tot
tater tot
that is not
optimal
movement
I have
no idea
what I
can
no
I do
I have
an idea
no
brain is
working
belbom
runs up
grabs tater
tot
and pulls
him back
from this
thing
I have
a plan
I will
probably
die
um
this one
goes behind
the rocks
and starts
peeing
uh
okay
that's
that's
the
the
ratlings
around
here
guys
I'm gonna
die
you have
some real
good followers
Zedek
alright
start of the
round
who wants
to go
first
guys
I need
to
I need
to
attack
it
because
otherwise
we're
going to
get hit
by it
anyway
and I
don't
think
a psychic
dome's
going to
stop
this
thing
with
fucking
damage
you're
correct
but I
have a
plan
to get
the
communication
device
out of
danger
okay
I'm
going to
do this
first
okay
I'm
going to
pick
up
you know
you know
damn
well
I'm
gonna
get
hit
though
I
know
so
so
now
might
be
a
good
time
that
exists
in
this
game
called
seize
the
initiative
where
you
can
spend
a
glory
to
seize
the
initiative
uh
no
no
no
it's
a
glory
and
basically
once
you've
finished
your
turn
you can
seize
the
initiative
instead
of
passing
to
to
a
threat
okay
we'll
do that
so
you
can
both
go
yes
do
do
your
action
first
and
then
after
that
I
will
seize
going
to
pick
up
the
communication
device
Zedek
hold
this
what
do
you
hold
it
good
question
I
do
my
best
as
you've
now
foisted
this
communication
device
upon
me
great
you
need
to
get
to
higher
ground
I
will
help
you
I
pick
up
Zedek
what
this
is
not
optimal
I'm
going
to
throw
him
on
top
of
the
ruined
lantern
okay
brain
what
are
you
doing
that's
his
only
way
I'm
going
to
preserve
you
my
captain
you
dead
give
me
an
athletics
check
please
don't
kill
me
athletics
you
said
yes
sure
thing
oh
my
god
if
you
kill
me
if
you
complicate
this
I
will
be
so
happy
oh
god
you
rolled
like
yeah
yeah
yeah
that's
that's
not
quite
enough
for
the
distance
you
need
um
so
can
I
roll
three
glory
and
then
roll
wrath
you
would
you
use
all
the
glory
so
he
can't
seize
so
you
could
use
two
to
keep
him
so
reap
can
seize
okay
can
I
use
two
glory
and
then
if
that
doesn't
work
then
use
a
wrath
to
re-roll
well
so
we
have
four
but
you
can
use
a
wrath
and
glory
okay
good
we're
gonna
start
with
glory
I'm
gonna
spend
three
glories
that
okay
yeah
I
would
I
would
like
just
don't
kill
me
could
you
repeat
that
reap
could
you
keep
it
to
two
of
course
I'm
really
worried
about
this
okay
why
would
you
be
worried
not
that
this
okay
not
and
you
want
to
do
a
wrath
die
to
re-roll
I want
to
use
a
wrath
die
please
re-roll
to
get
a
deck
all
right
and
I
get
to
re-roll
one
more
I
get
to
re-roll
the
glory
yes
the
fail
one
yep
no
okay
so
seven
okay
um
okay
so
you're
wanting
to
toss
him
on
the
lander
was
your
plan
right
yes
to
higher
ground
to
higher
ground
so
like
over
here
ish
okay
somewhere
where
there
is
a
far
higher
reception
I'm
going
to
also
I
should
note
I'm
probably
going
to
like
have
a
running
start
before
I
do
it
so
I'm
not
throwing
him
from
here
I'm
probably
more
likely
to
be
throwing
him
from
here
I
okay
as a
reminder
of the
chat
when you
donate
you need
to
specify
what
you're
doing
with
it
or
else
I
have
no
idea
what
you're
doing
with
it
yeah
you see
you see
Zedek
land
like
up
top
on
this
rocky
escarpment
with
the
lead
lander
crashed
on
top
like
his
butt
hitting
the
rocky
edge
you've
not left
anyone
by the
actual
device
to perform
the
communications
with
no I
put him
he gave
it to
me
oh
so
you
like
the
whole
gramophone
or
just
yes
he gave
me
the
entire
device
oh god
okay
this is
this is
beautiful
sure
sure
this
this
this
seems
legitimate
okay
don't
forget
I'm
literally
busting
my ass
for you
right now
this is
the only
rational
way
forward
the only
rational
way
rational
all right
that's
your
higher up
that'll
give you
a bonus
on whatever
check you're
gonna make
Zedek
I assume
Reeb
you wanna
seize the
initiative
now
please
yes
okay
knock that
glory down
by one
I'm
lagging
horribly
by the
way
so I'm
getting
some
delay
but
so here's
what I'm
gonna do
um
I wanna
make an
athletics
check
and I
wanna
get on
top
of the
death
roller
yes
that's
awesome
yes
do it
gonna
do my
athletics
it's not
great
so you
know
fucking
this is
where you
yes
it's
not
over
yet
um
it's
a
complication
question
question
yes
all right
so before
you before
you doom
me to
dying
uh
how many
of these
would I
need to
succeed
um
to to
to get
up on
top of
it
I'm
probably
going to
say that
would be
uh
a difficulty
of its
defense
plus two
so it
would be
defense
five
so I
would need
five
so I
would need
to
because I
only have
four for
athletics
so I'd
have to
roll the
glory
the glory
and also the
wrath
you could
spend a
wrath
yeah
so I
will burn
exactly
everything
that I
have left
uh
I'm
going to
going to
re-roll
and then I'm
going to
well
glory first
then re-roll
yeah so
1d6
great
hey this
could matter
hey
okay so you
get another
success
so you're
up to
three
then you
can
wrath
so you
get to
roll
uh
three
no 2d6
so I
don't re-roll
I just
you yeah
you'd re-roll
the two that
failed because
you don't re-roll
the wrath dice
so I don't
hit the re-roll
button
no you hit
the re-roll
button
that'll
that'll
basically
be the
same
here
okay
but don't
get excited
I still
complicate
it
you still
complicate
but hey
you're still
going to
succeed
yeah
yeah
so I'm
going to
roll a d6
for the
standard
complication
table
because we
have nothing
in our
our fan
complications
that will
be appropriate
here so
common
deer vehicle
okay so
our uh
our result
was a
three
three on
it is
past
problem
oh
god
oh god
okay
something
from your
past
comes back
to haunt
you
an old
wound
my knee
pain
or you
or you're
distracted
by some
memory
uh
what
past
thing
comes up
as reeb
is doing
this
amazing
stunt
to jump
on top
of the
the
construct
coming
towards him
I'm leaping
knife out
at this
thing and I
step on top
of the roller
thing so I can
get a good
man
and I feel
a little
crick in
my kneecap
yeah
so I guess
I'm going to
stumble onto
the parapet
but my leg
is going to
buckle
that good
enough for
you
yeah yeah
I can work
with that
would you like
to give me
an attack
roll
because I'm
you're
you're
knifing
this guy
on top
I want
I wanted
I wanted
to try and
commandeer
but this is
going to be
tough
how do you
want to
commandeer
like push
him off
like what
do you
I want to
I want to
push him
off and I
want to try
and like surf
this thing
back down
the hill
oh my god
give me a
weapon skill
test we're
going to
see how
this this
like plays
out
slash
oh okay
wow
six
you you
hit the
the rattling
on top
and so
what we'll
do is we
will roll
um
opposed
strength
his strength
is not
good
but we'll
see how
this plays
just a flat
neither is
mine
neither is
mine
well I'm
just going
to roll
here for
the driver
yeah
oh my gosh
he he
manages to
hold up
but you are
on top of
this thing
having a
star trek
chat wait
chat did
give us a
glory
you can use
that glory
he can use
he can use
he can use
a glory
then I'll
use I will
use a gut
I will use
the one glory
because I
I mean I
still have to
knife it
don't I
you already
did that
this would
just be
you shoving
him off
the thing
well I
hit him
with the
knife
I don't
know if I
killed him
though
no no
I just
just rolled
the strength
yeah
then we'll
see here
oh fuck
oh no
now fell short
okay now
roll the damage
all right
let's do that
can I shift
anything off of
that
what did I
need to hit
him
uh you
can shift
one
no one
one bonus
yeah
three
yeah
so
stab
stab
nice
okay
um
not terrible
you
you hurt him
you can tell
that he's
different from
other ratlings
um
and is pretty
pretty chonk
but
you
you stab
in
and he
ow
and he's
bashing you
with his ladle
as now you've
engaged in
yeah
star trek
esque
grappling
on
your foot
definitely
avoiding the
def rola
not quite
and the
soup pot
um
all right
uh so that
was you
seizing
uh then I
guess
I get to
go
so I got a
question for you
Thurston
does this mean
that he is not
able to direct
his truck
you're right
you're absolutely
right
so what I will
do is I will
scatter dice
to determine
where
oh no
yes
oh my
god
yes
we have
50 50
chance of
this going
horribly
let's just
see how it
goes because
hopefully you
don't go into
the mob in
any way shape
or form
you go
towards this
wall
and it starts
like going
crunch crunch
crunch crunch
um I
didn't really
expect this to
happen so I'm
really quickly
gonna create a
new attack for
this thing
just called the
ladle
um because I
always expected
him to be like
rolling over you
because that
seemed right
so I don't
know
the death
roller
yeah
the not quite
death
roller
um here
he's got a
chonk ladle
attack
um see if
he hits you
with his
chonk ladle
um
okay
he crits
you with a
ladle
oh
um
I'm gonna
get a contusion
let's
let's
see what
what he gets
for his crit
effect
because he is
the level
of character
where he will
get to crit
you
I'm just
imagining a
bunch of
team forces
to scout
like just
bat hits
a ping
ping
tom
ting
oh no
overpowering
assault
a stunning
blow sends
the foe
lurching away
blurred by
the brutal
impact
get off
my
plane
um
and oh
god okay
so you will
take 1d6
shock
all right
so for
shock
that's a lot
of shock
all right
and that
knocks you
off like
you like
tussle land
in the uh
the rocks
beside
um
the ladle's
not particularly
crazy in close
combat though
so he only
does eight
points of damage
total to you
uh I got a
defense so
that's one
so you take
another point
of shock
as like
he just
beats you
off with
a little
fatal
not doing
any damage
but like
yeah
get off
my soup
wagon
as the
the
freaking
rock thing
chews up
there
uh
who would
like to
go next
zanik
I would
like to
go
my ass
is an
immense
pain
being
shattered
by the
impact
uh you
were you
were high
up
I'm like
yeah I'm
as he's
up there
looking up
and I
go to
zaniko
call it
in
zanik
call it
in
you
I'm
working
on
you
just
you
just
hear
this
captain
is that
you
captain
zanik
lieutenant
ransom
can you
hear me
I
absolutely
can
hear you
crystal
clear
sir
how
can we
assist
could a
ransom
put me
through to
the ship's
PA
yes sir
as like
you hear
you've now
been relayed
I'm going to
psych myself
off for a
moment
hello
crew of the
debt
everyone's like
give the
damn message
as you're
like
hello
this is your
captain
captain
zanik
masca
dolce
here
we need
to initiate
protocol
nolo
content
dairy
weapons
authorization
bankruptcy
on these
coordinates
and
for those
of you
who are
new to
the crew
kill
fucking
everything
and
I
use
bombardment
whoa
bombardments
will now
commence
meanwhile
in
space
now
you can
see the
things
turning
around
things
happening
by
bombardment
is now
coming in
and all
you can
see is
this
high up
in the
sky
and everything
else
I'm
sorry to
take
narrative
just the
ship
and all
you can
basically
see the
ship is
now
firing down
on the
planet
things
are
fucking
exploding
at this
point
for those
of you
listening
podcast
version
we have
a really
cool
animation
there
yeah
it ain't
cool at
all
it's
pretty
shit
to be
on
it's
cool
it's
cool
it's
boom
boom
boom
boom
so they're
all deleted
off the
field
right
uh
please
come back
to the
battle
mat
and let
me know
when we're
back
it's already
there
oh okay
cool
as
yeah
you
come down
in just
a wash
of fire
and tear
apart
all of
the
the
cannibal
ratlings
who
explode
in
the
in chunks
of meat
and then
further off
in the
fields beyond
where the
thousands of
other
ratlings
are approaching
the debt
collector
begins firing
a second
salvo
and you
see just
this immense
explosion
in the
distances
all of
them are
torn up
and completely
obliterated
uh
lauren
would you
like to
go now
i
would love
to go
i look
at
you see
like this
fire
behind you
i am
cackling
madly
at this
point
you see
it's no
use
we win
the tall
ones
always
win
and i just
look at the
thing
and i'm like
you're not
tall enough
upon that
vehicle
we need
to knock
you down
a peg
close my
hand
and i cast
crush
on it
of course
that is an
eight
against it
i have
no wrath
die so i
cannot uh
boost it up
as much as i
would like
but uh
it's the
fence is
three right
three yeah
i'm going to
put two
into doing
an additional
damage die
with it
so we're going
to now do
the rest of
the damage
that is going
to be
uh
holy crap
that's gonna
be 12
damage
yeah
that goes
right through
and you can
see it is
just knocked
and shaken
but but
still but
still holding
the the
the ladle
guy puts
the thing
down and he's
holding on
and is
desperate
but you've
you've
started to
break apart
this device
are you going
to like hold
on to
prevent the
device from
moving
that's exactly
what it does
by default
just some
hold
and it
cannot move
it is now
restrained
and um
at this point
i think everyone's
gone
well
sorry
in the immortal
words of
pie brain
no pie brain
went first
yeah i threw
uh but in the
but in the
immortal words
of pie brain
the child
hasn't gone
yet
and as the
device
is held
tater tot
looks back
at you
lauren as you
hold it
and then
sees sees
reed being
knocked off
and pulls it
out and he
just gives
this nod of
i'm a gorilla
and he turns
towards
it's just
like a slow
motion
just holding
it down like
his brave
heart but
it's tater tot
and he makes
this agility
test and he
makes it i guess
completely succeeds
and climbs up
the back
this thing is
now held
it's not like
when reeb was
making the
attempt where
it wasn't
moving it's
now held in
place by this
crush and he
climbs up
and as the
ladle man is
furiously staring
down at reeb
who's distracted
him tater tot
comes up behind
with his glory
ready and makes
a melee attack
reeb taps the
side of his
head at the
chef
wow
every single
one succeeded
except one
hits
and like
just you
just
as he
stabs it
down and
uh
this plus
this many
dice actually
he's gonna
gonna take a
bonus dice
uh do you
want him to
use your
your glory
point
sure
it's the glory
his glory
oh yeah
and he just
comes up and
because reeb
had already
conked so many
wounds off the
driver the driver
only had two
wounds left
and tater tot
just comes up
behind him
and shoves the
glory in his
back and he
comes sputters
and stumbles
down and for
cinematic effect
lorne just as he
stumbles down
towards the not
quite death
rolla do you
release the crush
effect i
i release it
i'm going
it's now your
glory tater tot
enjoy your
victory
tater tot like
looks down as
the as the
crush ends
and the
the roller
begins to
roll again as
you let go of
the crush and
the the driver
falls on it
and there's
there's just
like we don't
see the result
instead we see
reeb and tater
tot staring as
like a splatter
of blood hits
both of them
yeah i i
after i'd
like to think
of this image
of a burning
destroyed and
bombarded
battlefield with
tater tot standing
there proud
horn in one
hand and the
red bandana
which i gave
him just the
twirly bits
just floating
in the wind
as we're all
just watching
as the sun
rises a little
bit beaming
onto tater
tot's glory
and as this
is happening
zedek you
you slide
down and as
you slide
down you
notice that
there's a small
glowing uh
green light
with a button
beside it on
the side of
the gramophone
and you're
you're you're
back with the
rest of your
party beats
and it's just
going beep
beep beep
and all of you
hear that the
gramophone is
beep beep
beep
and pie
yeah yeah
he slid down
you're all together
now pie as
you see this
you recognize
that that's the
that's an
incoming
signal
we are being
contacted
i will press
the button
and open the
com
yeah so you
put this device
down and it
suddenly the
gramophone
writes itself
to point
upwards and
opens like a
flower to
create this
pedestal
and suddenly
the edges of
it begin
emitting this
light
and you
see this
green
hololithic
light
and
a figure
appears
in the light
lorne you're the
first
before showing
us
what does he
look like
yeah so it's
this this
hololithic figure
who has this
sort of
plated armor
with this
austere
symbol of
office in the
center
has has
kind of a
swept back
hair a
finely curled
mustache a
thin little
goatee
robes all
around it
round
what's what's
the symbol
the symbol
looks oddly
familiar to
the symbol
that you
have of
the adeptus
astra
telepathica
ah hey
rave get
over here
some smarmy
fucking asshole
sackers on the
hollow
ah for
goodness
sake
and he
this this
like light
he he
look like
that looks
in the distance
because he's
not seeing any
of you and
it's like
why hello
i am
schleibergo
de fuckerby
24th of
my name
can you
repeat that
pleasure to
finally meet
you
can you
repeat that
for me
of course i
can repeat
that because
you clearly
need to hear
my name
again i'm
de fuckerby
the 24th
of my
name
it's a
pleasure
for you
to meet
my
acquaintance
i see
you have
done well
in your
endeavors
uh you
are in
the southern
continent
yes my
team was
deployed to
the northern
continent
where it
didn't take
long for
us to
get a handle
on this
already i
believe
the agents
of our
reckoning
will be
coming down
on the
rogue
emissaries
in the
capital
i'm sure
though that
you've done
all right
for yourselves
in the
southlands
ah
what do you
mean your
emissaries
well i
don't want
to brag
but i
guess i'm
going to
put a
suggestion
into the
minds of
some of
the simple
folk here
that would
turn them
against those
treacherous
emissaries
oh you
mean one
of these
and i
grab the
lord of
science
and i
just bring
her in
so she
would appear
in her
like ah
one of
these
things and
i
i
i
that you
would
tend to
go there
in person
and not
have others
do your
work for
you is
so distasteful
i'm not a
smarmy
coward
it's not
what i
am
oh such
rude
language
well rest
assured
slyburgo
de
fuckerby
24th of
may
you
you have
made a
powerful
enemy
here
i raise
my hand
and i
look at
go ahead
ah yes
you're
you're
polite
yeah
what do
you have
to say
how many
of the
divine
lords
did you
kill
well i
believe
all of
them
had others
do it
for me
at least
that's what
the reports
will show
as we are
now exiting
the system
oh it
would be a
shame if
we'd reach
catch van
nord
first
good day
to you
and the
hololith
cuts
may i
use the
uh
indicator
yeah
sir
lieutenant
ransom
yes sir
can you
locate
the signal
of a
sly
burgo
defuckraby
for me
he's
somewhere
on this
planet
as far
as i
know
sir
i
i
apologize
there is
a ship
that is
far out
of our
weapon range
because of
the intention
of the party
to blow
this fucker
out of the
sky
for being
a fuckerby
uh
and
well
should i
dave
dave translated
sir i
apologize
should i
be sending
down
shuttles
to collect
you
yes
just just
send the
harvest
lighters
and prep
yes
transport
ah
that's going
to be
me
isn't
it
yes
very much
damn
ribs
can i
at least
read
the white
dwarf
while i'm
in prison
i
snatch it
out
now
i
give it
back
for you
just took
it out
of your
pocket
and gave
it back
so as
the other
vessel has
translated
out
um
our
our
session
ends
with
the debt
collector
in orbit
over far
them for
the shuttles
having come
down
collecting
the the
various
and the
host of
the grumble
tum tum
farm
come
aboard
your
vessel
gm
the
yes
sorry
i
actually
had one
thing i
wanted to
try before
we departed
oh absolutely
um
so can
i have
the lord
of science
because she
has no
longer
got her
name
can i
have her
direct me
to the
burial
plot
of our
uh now
dead uh
tech priest
the one
absolutely
Absolutely. There's just, like, an unmarked
stone.
The divine lord of war puts him there.
So this is where she's buried, yes?
Yes.
Um, can I quickly
see if there's any
jumper cables on this
crashed shuttle?
I'm sure Brain has
some of those, like, chest compartments
and there's...
I've got a zappy gun.
I have a combi tool.
GM, can I do a Medicaid
to see if I can even salvage
this dead
tech priest lady?
I mean, I have an idea.
She's quite dead, but you could
salvage parts?
I want a jumper. I want to see it, because, you know,
tech priests, right? They don't got meat.
Fine, fine. Roll me a Medicaid check
and then roll all sixes and prove me wrong.
I just need to change the power supply.
I don't know.
Turn it back on again.
It'll be fine.
I put triple A's. This should have been double A's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Roll me a Medicaid check.
Once again,
YouTube comments, this GM doesn't let us
get away with it. God damn it!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
All right.
All right, I'll order the art.
You don't gotta give it to me
if you don't wanna.
Like, we can just make this party.
No, no, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll...
We'll touch on this next session.
We'll touch on this.
We're, like, the scene here,
because we're kind of in a denouement
of our first arc of the Fartham 4 arc.
Like, we have the, like,
the burning landscape behind
going to night,
and the camera's pulling up,
and there's some kind of, like,
I don't know,
modern contemporary music playing,
and it's Pi, Brain, and Reb
who've crowded around the, like,
the burial grounds.
And Zedek is arranging the shovels
to come down,
and I assume Lorne is off to the side
with, with Tater Tot
praising him for what he did.
And, like, we just kind of see
as the cameras, like,
move further up away from this scene,
we just see the jumper cables,
and, like, Reb makes some comment
of, like,
it worked, or something like that.
No, no, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna shout to the skies,
UNNATURAL MEDICAID, BABY!
Yeah, and, and, and so we,
we cut to a few other scenes.
Belba, sorry, the Uncle Heshesh
and the Grumble Tum Tum,
the Meat Place Alpha crew,
they all board shuttles
bound for the debt collector,
but along with them,
some of the survivors
under Belba Creepfoot
want to go on the debt collector,
which also kind of fulfills
your objective of having,
like, a group of ratlings
to train for a regiment.
It's true.
And so Belba kind of takes
unofficial control of these.
And what you quickly find out
is you don't have enough
to hit your, your 1,000 strong soldiers
because, like,
the capital's been ravaged.
These, these cannibals
have descended down.
Oh, right.
Burned many of them.
Wait, wait a second.
But, then you find out
news from the south.
The cameras,
the cannibals,
over the past several days
have been also making their way
to the southern continent
because, you know,
it's been a while.
And as they've reached there,
rather than consuming the locals,
they stopped and realized
their cannibal ways were wrong
because they got to enjoy
the fine cooking
of the first annual
Captain Zedek cook-a-thon
that was taking place
in Happy Feastings
that stopped,
stopped the rage,
whether or not it had
anything to do with the Psyker
leaving the system
or the Captain Zedek cook-a-thon,
no one will ever know.
But,
the cook-a-thon
ended them
and those cannibals
suddenly became
way more,
like,
interested in assisting
and, and helping out
and they,
they definitely fill out
the other part
of your 1,000 required
rattling souls.
And so...
Halti, high-five me.
Five-dimensional
rattling chess, baby!
Five-dimensional
rattling chess!
We end with these
shuttles carrying on
up to the debt collector
bringing all of these,
these goals that you'd
set out to accomplish here
and completing them.
And we then cut to
the debt collector
finally after our
first three sessions
moving out of orbit
of the planet
towards, you know,
warp translation
and exiting
the system entire.
And where our session
comes to its final end
is a last scene
on a,
on an idyllic hill
as the evening sun sets.
And two rattlings
stand on this hill.
Two rattlings,
a mother
and a father
who look up into the sky
and vow revenge.
And then reach down
into their pockets
and produce onions
that they begin munching on.
And that's where we will end
for our today's session.
Thank you.
Fuck you, hot wife!
Good job, everyone.
Yay, we made nemesis
by stealing someone's child.
B-B-E-G, B-B-E-G!
Oh, we didn't die.
Ah, with that...
You did, you did real good.
With that, everyone,
I think that is
the end of War Hems today.
We hope you join us
next time.
Next time.
Our next day
on which we will be streaming
is on August 8th.
We highly encourage you
to join us there.
Pretty much August 8th,
1 p.m. PDT time zone
is when we usually stream it.
Remember,
I'm also going to extend
that giveaway thing
for the next one.
So if we do hit
1,000 concurrent viewers
on the 8th,
I am more than happy
to do a 9th edition
coral rulebook
or a Wrath and Glory
revised edition
rulebook giveaway
along with releasing
the rattling stuff.
Even getting your own
tater tot token.
Which will be great, right?
With all of these
throws to the public.
So with that, everybody,
thank you all so much
for joining us.
Everything else,
I would like to go around
the ring again
to make sure you know
who has brought you
this show today.
First off,
with Speaker D.
Yes!
You may find me,
if you wish,
on Twitter at
at supersnakekick.com
You can find my
YouTube channel
as Speaker D.
And you can
subscribe to my
and say nice things
about me
on the internet
if you want.
Next up,
Erndill.
Hi,
you can meet me
on Twitter
at
at Erndillio.
That is the only place
I exist
or on Steam
if you know me.
If you don't,
you don't.
But it will be nice
to hear from you people
anyway.
And then for Mr.
Hulky Crow.
Hello,
thank you guys
for coming tonight.
You can find me
at
at Hulky Crow
on Twitter.
Those like Erndill
who know me
can find me
on Steam.
Shoot me some memes,
DM me,
say what you want,
tell me I'm stupid.
I don't care.
I appreciate you being here.
And with that
and all along with me,
I am Zoan the Bear.
I'm on the channel
in which we are streaming on.
You can find me
on the little social links there.
And for,
thank you so much
for putting all this
adventure together so far.
We still have more
adventures in the future.
I suspect that we might
even continue on doing this
if people still like it.
Thank you,
Thurston Hillman,
for such an awesome
first arc
so far.
Yeah,
thank,
thank you.
For those of you
who thought this arc
was hilarious
and wacky,
oh boy,
howdy,
wait until you see
what's coming up.
If you've been interested
in some of the
deck collector
and what goes on
on Zedek's ship,
I highly recommend
you come for next episode
because we're going to
start digging into
some additional lore.
We want you to get involved
in several ways.
Yeah.
We're getting some
infrastructure stuff
in the background
and we want you
to get involved.
Yeah,
and if you're,
if you're interested
in the deck collector
and what might be
going on there,
there may be some
little options.
See,
see,
even the phones
are excited about this.
It held off
for such a long time.
You can find me
on the social medias
and stuff
at OnCallGM.
That's all,
all one word.
I mostly am on
the tweeters.
And yeah,
thank you all
for playing
in this wackiness
and,
you know,
telling me that as a GM
I'm,
I'm too,
too strict
and don't allow you
to get away
with anything.
You know,
I'm really sorry.
He's not better.
He's not better.
No,
I can't,
I can't.
Actually,
you've all been great.
All of you great fans
out there,
appreciate you watching
and we will have
more wacky adventures
in the future.
And with that,
you guys can also
support the show
on Patreon.
It is
patreon.com
four slash
four hams.
Here's the link
in chat.
You don't actually
need the pay.
They're actually
going to get in
tune with things.
But once after
the fifth episode,
you might want to
go in there
because even for
people who aren't
contributing to it,
we use it as a blog
system to keep you
up to date,
tell you what's
happening,
try to be just
transparent as possible.
And you can find
all the information
and links that are
relevant to us
there as well.
And I hope you guys
come in after a week
or two,
basically for the
next time that we
stream.
We hope you bring,
hope you arrive.
Be sure to check
out the Patreon
for any news
and information.
And if you also
want to contribute
with it.
So with that,
everybody,
I think it is
finally time
to leave.
Thank you all
so much for being
here.
Goodbye.
Goodbye,
everybody.
Thank you for
showing up.
Adieu, adieu.
Parting is such
sweet sorrow.