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Jake and Rach talk their biggest passions, pitfalls, and everything in between
Rachel Scott: [00:00:00] Oh. Okay. We're laughing 'cause Jake just tried to start this- ... and was
Jake Scott: like, "Uh, wha..." I did. I fumbled.
Rachel Scott: So here's my take. Uh, hi. We're here. Welcome to our podcast.
Jake Scott: Welcome.
Rachel Scott: W- to Biggest Fan, and today we are gonna talk about some life changes for us, but not just current life changes, life mistakes, changes, um, growth, failures of the past few years that have kind of led us to this moment, and actually led us to really what this whole podcast is about, which is, um, gi- uh, failing with arms wide open.
Diving in head- Being romanced- ... first ... by everything in life, for better or worse. Um, walking with only able, the ability to see six feet ahead, but not in a good way. Uh, that is-
Jake Scott: Yeah ...
Rachel Scott: that is kind of it.
Jake Scott: I mean, yeah, the current situation that we are in is, was kind of the, the, the spark for you- Yes ... of seeing like, "Oh, what if we just talked about on this [00:01:00] podcast- This
the, the- Part of our
Rachel Scott: personalities ...
Jake Scott: the blessing and the curse of, of people who just go all in to everything. Yeah.
Rachel Scott: And I, I feel like before we jump in, though, I have to acknowledge that I now have a handheld mic, and I'm really happy about it. She's,
Jake Scott: she- So we were- She was holding the, the, the stand mic, and I was like, "Why don't you just h-
Rachel Scott: handheld it?"
I am a mother who needed a child in her hands, and now I have it. She's loving
Jake Scott: her life.
Rachel Scott: Anyway, so Jake's got the little old man thing going on. I've got my handheld.
Jake Scott: If this is the old man thing, I will g- fly the flag proudly.
Rachel Scott: I've got the standup ready to go, so I just felt like the elephant in the room needed to be addressed.
Jake Scott: Ev- everyone noticed.
Rachel Scott: Okay. So yes, as we've mentioned before, we knew we w- we were like, "Okay, we feel like we're gonna start a podcast." Um-
Jake Scott: Mm-hmm ...
Rachel Scott: took us a long time to figure out what it was going to be about.
Jake Scott: Over a year.
Rachel Scott: Over a year, and then a few months ago... Or actually, not over, no, this is, I'm getting nitpicky.
It was, like, eight months. 'Cause last- It's a little bit longer. I know. Forgive, forgive. Um, w- a few months ago- Yeah ... we had one idea, which I now look back on and I'm like, "Losers. Not as good of an idea." [00:02:00]
Jake Scott: No, I still think it was actually a pretty good idea.
Rachel Scott: Okay. Well, that'll be round two, our new podcast in five years.
Yeah, that's- Yeah ... our
Jake Scott: second podcast.
Rachel Scott: Um, but we, we found ourselves in the current kind of life situation that we're in, which we'll dive into, and we realized, wait, this is the podcast. This is, this is how, what we have to offer as humans and what we want our podcast to be about, which is, as we've already said, just this living life with full-on passion, and that is for better or for worse.
It's, we're obviously ribbing ourselves, but that, like, it, it can be-
Jake Scott: Yeah ...
Rachel Scott: good. It just really needs to be matured in us. Yeah. And is being matured currently. So that's when we realized, okay, this is, this is what we have to offer. Learn from our mistakes. Um, join us on our ad- on our what? What would you call it?
Jake Scott: You could say it's an adventure. I mean, that's a nice word for it. You heard
Rachel Scott: it. Yeah.
Jake Scott: But it is- Well, in
Rachel Scott: The Lord of the Rings on their adventure, there were good and bad moments, you know?
Jake Scott: You are Frodo.
Rachel Scott: We are on the way to Mordor.
Jake Scott: I am absolutely Smeagol. Wait, no.
Rachel Scott: I don't wanna be Frodo, I [00:03:00] wanna be that elf.
Jake Scott: Frodo's... You wanna be the elf?
Rachel Scott: Yeah. You
Jake Scott: wanna be Legolas?
Rachel Scott: The, hello, Liv Tyler.
Jake Scott: Oh,
Rachel Scott: but she's not on the adventure. Okay,
Jake Scott: I'll be- No, she's, she's a very, like, side character who's- Okay, then I am
Rachel Scott: abs- ... in
Jake Scott: love
Rachel Scott: with Aragorn. Oh, that's me? Oh, I'm Aragorn. That's who I
Jake Scott: wanna be. No, no, I would be. If you're Liv Tyler, then I'm Aragorn.
Rachel Scott: I'm not Liv Tyler. I'm Aragorn, you're Frodo.
Jake Scott: We've gone way too far down this rabbit
Rachel Scott: hole. Okay. Okay, so yeah. So today we're gonna, before we get into kind of our current, um, life- Do
Jake Scott: we make Mickey Gandalf then?
Rachel Scott: Oh, Mickey. Um...
Jake Scott: Sorry. She's, she's, she's on one today. She's just licking Rachel's skin off. I
Rachel Scott: know.
Um-
Jake Scott: So here she is.
Rachel Scott: Okay. So yeah, before we get into current day situations, you, let's, let's, like-
Jake Scott: We gotta get current on, on... We're not gonna give the long road here, but we're gonna get current with, with- We got an hour, babe. ... where we've been to, to getting us to the current situation to kind of be able to s- to set a new foundation for where we're gonna be going in this podcast, because we're catching up to current day.
That was like a
Rachel Scott: TED TV version. Oh, wait, what is it called? A TED- TED Talk. Nice.
Jake Scott: I mean, hey. [00:04:00] The mic. Um, so basically, uh, the, w- we, we met and married, had our kids in LA. Oh, wow. We're
Rachel Scott: going back to marriage.
Jake Scott: Well, I'm just saying, we've, we lived our life in LA.
Rachel Scott: We, yeah. Okay, yeah.
Jake Scott: That's where we started. Okay.
That's where
Rachel Scott: we just moved from. I gotta, I gotta take, like, a brief, like, fsh, fsh diving in. Here we go.
Jake Scott: Okay. Here we go.
Rachel Scott: Okay. So Jake was born.
Jake Scott: Jake was born.
Rachel Scott: We, uh, no, we met in LA. Um, and part of what brought us together, and I think part of what we love about our marriage and love about being together, is that we both do have this, um, dive off the cliff personality.
Different versions of it, but we do. So that's been a real... As we've, like, looked back, this is a pivotal moment in our life that we're in right now.
Jake Scott: Hugely.
Rachel Scott: Yeah. And as we've looked back, as you do when you're in a big moment, you reflect, and we've reflected and we can see just that this through line has been with us, um, in good ways and in hard ways.
And so yeah, from the beginning, I mean, we, we literally met in LA where we moved to be in entertainment. Yeah. So that, that-
Jake Scott: Already [00:05:00] delusional and crazy. Yeah.
Rachel Scott: Right. And so, so yeah, that was kind of our, our story. Um, and then we... Well, how do you wanna, which part of it do you wanna tell?
Jake Scott: I mean, basically that's, that's where we met.
That's where we fell in love, that's where we built our life, and then when COVID happened, we were nomads for a little while, and that was kind of what started this, uh, mo- moment.
Rachel Scott: You were in a season. Yeah. But you, Jake was in a time Where he was processing, do I wanna, do we wanna be i- in California or in LA really forever?
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: And I was still very much like, "Y- yes, we do. Yes, we do."
Jake Scott: And it was really hard for me 'cause I'm, you know, I'm from northeast Arkansas. California was a very different world for me.
Rachel Scott: Totally.
Jake Scott: There were things that I absolutely adored about California, but there were also things that were hard for me about California, just kind of the creature comfort, [00:06:00] surface-level stuff of, of it, you know.
Rachel Scott: Doesn't leaf fall in the fall.
Jake Scott: Yeah, there's not really seasons- Yeah ... which was, you know, first world problem, but I, it really- I
Rachel Scott: mean, a lot of this- ... was hard on me ... could be labeled Jake Scott's evolution-
Jake Scott: First world problems. ...
Rachel Scott: getting rid of first world problems.
Jake Scott: Yeah, and, and so, like, I think COVID was the, was what really when I, I started, um, really-
having a hard time with it.
Rachel Scott: I just had to clear my throat. Oh. It was a
Jake Scott: transition. I was gonna say... But that's when I really started having a hard time with it, sort of when I, uh-
Rachel Scott: Honey, it began before that
Jake Scott: though. Yeah, no, I was already- Yeah ... definitely ex- like feeling it, but then COVID, we had this opportunity.
The house we were renting was up for sale. Our landlord told us, like, "Hey, you gotta go by this day." And we were like, "Well, we're, you know, we're still-"
Rachel Scott: It was COVID- Ki- ... so
Jake Scott: we didn't have kids. We're, it's COVID. LA was pretty shut down. We hadn't had any kids at that point, so we were like, "Let's just put our stuff in a storage unit and be nomads for a little bit."
Yeah. I [00:07:00] mean, about six or seven months during COVID, and then we decided we were moving back to LA.
Rachel Scott: Yeah, things had... You know, we had been out of LA for a few months, and it was just such a cra- it was a very hard time in our life. We- Yeah ... as it was for the world in general, and certainly for us personally.
Jake Scott: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Scott: We went through so much during that time- Mm ... personally, that we, I mean, it was the hardest- Yeah ... season. We've touched on that before, but- Yeah ... just really hard season. And so kinda being separate and being on our own really in the country was exactly what we needed.
Jake Scott: Yeah, it kinda gave us a place to get away and- Right
and do some work that we needed to do.
Rachel Scott: Exactly, and so once we, which is just ongoing. It's not like, "Oh, and then we were great."
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: Um, but yeah. It was,
Jake Scott: it was a starting point though. It
Rachel Scott: was a starting point. So we, once we found out we were gonna have a baby, and it also got to be Christmastime, it was like, okay, this is, this was a s- a time, you know?
Mm-hmm. But now it's time for us to move back to LA to find a house, and on and on. And so-
Jake Scott: Well, in the [00:08:00] middle of that, this is totally par for the course for us, we spent a couple weeks in Nashville.
Rachel Scott: Yeah, you, Jake had to go to Nashville for work.
Jake Scott: For work, and, and so we were in this Airbnb.
Rachel Scott: I think we rent, we, we were like, "Let's, let's get an Airbnb for a month," because again, it was COVID, so the world wasn't normal anymore.
It was
Jake Scott: like- Yeah, and we were also nomads, so we didn't have a place to live- Yeah ... permanently. So we were like, "Oh, let's just-"
Rachel Scott: We just, Jake has to go-
Jake Scott: A month in Nashville ... let's spend a month there. Let's do that. And, and then while we were there, naturally we were like, "Let's look at some houses. Why not?"
Exactly.
Rachel Scott: Let's just check
Jake Scott: some
Rachel Scott: things out. I was in the midst of, you know, horrible first trimester.
Jake Scott: You were so morning sick.
Rachel Scott: So morning sick.
Jake Scott: And I, you were in this-
Rachel Scott: But not too sick to look at houses.
Jake Scott: No, absolutely not, babe. We were whipping and nae nae-ing. I
Rachel Scott: was like, "I will be ill until it is time to browse through whatever neighborhood."
And then,
Jake Scott: and then of course, typical us, we, we see a house that we fell in love with-
Rachel Scott: Fell in love ...
Jake Scott: and then we just full speed ahead, we're like-
Rachel Scott: We're moving
Jake Scott: to Nashville ... we're doing this.
Rachel Scott: This
Jake Scott: is
Rachel Scott: happening.
Jake Scott: We're moving to Nashville. We put an offer on the house, and we're, we're literally calling all of our friends and [00:09:00] family.
We're like, "We're moving to Nashville." We literally called- "It makes so much sense. It's perfect." ... everyone.
Rachel Scott: We told them. Within three days. Four days before that we weren't even gonna look at houses. Oh my gosh. I was, like, in a bed all day throwing up. And
Jake Scott: this- You were v- you were very anti the idea of it at all before we went and saw that house.
And then we saw the house-
Rachel Scott: I mean, I was anti, but
Jake Scott: my tone wasn't- To be fair, it was a beautiful house ...
Rachel Scott: beautiful. And also, though, our delusions were very apparent in the situation, because it, this is- Oh my gosh ... it was a 100-year-old house. Yeah. And we were like, "But that's fine. We'll totally renovate the upstairs, go before a historic board for permission for certain designs we wanna do, and have that all done in the four months before Ruby's born."
Jake Scott: Four months.
Rachel Scott: No prob, babe.
Jake Scott: And any contractor we talked to, they were like, "This is gonna take a minimum of, like, a year and a half." And I was like, "Uh- And we were like, "You're wrong. You're just being a contractor who's trying to tempera on it." ... get out of the way
Rachel Scott: of our dreams, okay? And
Jake Scott: everyone was like, "I don't know."
And now looking back on it, oh my gosh, like-
Rachel Scott: Well, we had never b- we had never bought a house before. This was our first-
Jake Scott: Yeah, it was our first attempt at buying a house ... like, trying
Rachel Scott: to buy a house. And-
Jake Scott: We'd definitely never renovated a house.
Rachel Scott: No.
Jake Scott: We had no idea what [00:10:00] that looked like. No.
Rachel Scott: We'd never, you know, lived outside of our own delusions
Jake Scott: once.
And I get so... We both get delusional. I get very delusional about timelines. Oh my gosh. I'm like, "Oh, it'll work out. It'll be fine. We'll pull it off, it'll be good. We'll have this entire external exterior wall upstairs and, and add a couple thousand square feet." A couple thousand. Like, 500 square feet. It's gonna be fine,
Rachel Scott: is what I'm putting on your gravestone-
Jake Scott: Yes
in a couple years. Oh, and it has gotten me... I mean, that's a whole podcast episode of it. Like, for me is the realizing that I can't live with, it'll all be, it'll all work out, it'll all be fine, in the sense of, like, making big decisions that have real consequences.
Rachel Scott: Yeah.
Jake Scott: There is a lot of wisdom in actually weighing out the cost and, and making a wise decision from that.
I am currently still learning that. Like, we had a conversation, fight about this yesterday.
Rachel Scott: See, I don't even remember it.
Jake Scott: Yeah. And, and so, like, in that moment I was fully still leading with, "Oh, it'll be good. It'll work
Rachel Scott: out." Yeah. "It'll be fine." And you... But see, I [00:11:00] have that, too. It's just a different version of it than yours.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: Yeah. I went... Well, and maybe also at that point I didn't have the brakes yet at all- Because I for sure with that house-
Jake Scott: No, you were, you were prepping your speech before the historical board. Oh.
Rachel Scott: You were like ready to go. I was like, "I'm gonna be six months pregnant, so cute." "Like, can't wait. The outfit will, will slay."
Jake Scott: Gonna go to Dry Bar before.
Rachel Scott: Oh, I was about- Get the hair done ... to be just the cutest little- We're gonna- ... surfboard girly ever. And so yeah, we were just full steam ahead on moving there. And like, it, not only were we... The house was obviously a, just a crazy thing that we thought we could do in a very short amount of time, having never done any of it before.
But also, we were, we had no plans prior to that week to move to Nashville.
Jake Scott: Zero.
Rachel Scott: I'm in the first trimester of my pregnancy. That's a very, for me, when I've been pregnant, that's not a time you make long-term decisions.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: You make one decision at a time-
Jake Scott: Uh-huh ...
Rachel Scott: within the next hour. And
Jake Scott: this was like a major life change.
Of-
Rachel Scott: Major life change ...
Jake Scott: we've, [00:12:00] and we've lived our whole, you know, married life in LA. Well, and,
Rachel Scott: and- And we're like, "
Jake Scott: Sweet, let's up and move to Nashville" ...
Rachel Scott: yes. And for, and for the first time, we're about- ... to become parents. And again, we had been through this upheaval in our life and marriage that was very pi- Mm-hmm
another pivotal, very pivotal season for us.
Jake Scott: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Scott: So just a lot happening, but we decided that was the time to renovate a 100-year-old home in a new city- ... um, when we'd never owned anything before. So- And we're
Jake Scott: about to become parents for the first time.
Rachel Scott: Yeah.
Jake Scott: My goodness.
Rachel Scott: So, so it came-
Jake Scott: God literally protected
Rachel Scott: us.
Oh, yes. So we put an offer in, and I remember when they called us and said, "It's been accepted. The house is yours."
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: Every, every bone in my body sunk into the ground.
Jake Scott: Yeah, we both at the same time looked at each other, and we just had this, this deep sense that like, "Oh, no. What did we just do?" Yeah.
Rachel Scott: This feels wrong.
It feels wrong. Not only the house, I think. I think that maybe for both of us, you are so this way, when something is wrong, [00:13:00] Jake will be in denial of it until it's- Oh, yeah ... a fire burning- Oh,
Jake Scott: yeah ...
Rachel Scott: right in front of him.
Jake Scott: Oh, yeah.
Rachel Scott: But I have a little bit of that, too, because I remember being on the phone that week with one of the contractors who was just trying to speak very basic reason and wisdom to me.
And I was like, "Oh, gosh, he doesn't know what he's doing." "He's like 60. He's been a contractor for 35 years." How could
Jake Scott: he know possibly?
Rachel Scott: But something in the way he talked to me did get through because I remember feeling a little bit like, "Is this... Are we getting ahead of ourselves? Is this not what we think- Mm-hmm
it's gonna be?" The answer was a blaring yes. Oh, my gosh. But, but I kinda pushed that down. And then when we found out we got it, you're on the hook, that's when things always hit me, when I'm on the hook for something. And I'm like, "Oh, no."
Jake Scott: Oh, yeah. "
Rachel Scott: I gotta get outta here."
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: So we voiced it to each other, and thankfully, at that point, you know, we had, there was no commitment.
We hadn't even done an inspection yet.
Jake Scott: We hadn't done it. Well, we had put down the earnest money- We put down the earnest money ... which
Rachel Scott: we
Jake Scott: got back. Yeah. Thank God. But I just, and this is also... [00:14:00] Everything we do Is like 10 out of 10 drama
Rachel Scott: It's just so much
Jake Scott: drama Every time we do anything Jake. So, so we get, we put the offer down.
It gets accepted. We both have this, this kind of like come to Jesus conversation where we're like, "I don't know if this is the right thing." We call our realtor kind of freaking out, and he, and they're like, "It's fine. It's fine. We can, we can back out of this." Yeah. Yeah. "We'll throw it on the inspection."
You're not, you're not stuck. And so we're like, "Okay, cool." And so not only do we, uh, back out of this, but we high tail out of town. Oh. We pack our bags. We end our Airbnb thing like two weeks early, and we're just like, "We're getting out of here. We're going
Rachel Scott: back to Fayetteville." Oh, literally driving eight hours in the night.
Jake Scott: Through the night. I know. Just like, it's just, it's so much drama. We get back to Arkansas.
Rachel Scott: And we weren't fully- ... out of the house yet. They were like, "Let's do the inspection. See how the inspection goes." There's always t- you know, that can always be- Yeah ... there can always be, especially with this kind of house, a reason why you get out of it- You get...
Yeah ... due to the inspection. And [00:15:00] there, there was nothing, you know, there was, there was enough in the inspection that confirmed what we were already feeling- Yeah ... which is this is a huge project. It is. We can't do this. Beautiful
Jake Scott: house.
Rachel Scott: So once we... Beautiful. Lot of work. But we get back there. The inspection happens, um, and that only confirmed we can't do this.
So we said, "Okay, we're, we're backing out of this offer." And the next day, a snowstorm hits.
Jake Scott: Oh, yeah. Classic.
Rachel Scott: This is literal. So- But, and this is our- Favorite ... favorite thing in the whole world, that the drama of, you know- Yeah ... a snowflake falling on Jake's cheek while we're crying saying, "Where are we gonna live?"
I don't even remember at that point- Ah ... where we were at. I know we knew we weren't gonna live in that house, but I feel like everything was kind of on the table, and this is- It was on the table ... very, very symbolic of where we are today- Uh-huh ... learning these lessons yet again. But then we ended up just having a big old come to Jesus the day of that storm and realizing probably this needed to happen, that we n- especially for you.
Jake Scott: Mm.
Rachel Scott: We are going to go back to LA. That is where we need to go. Yeah. We are gonna [00:16:00] recommit, and I think for you, because you had been dealing with... What would you call it? Doubt. I mean-
Jake Scott: Yeah. I mean, it was just the-
Rachel Scott: Not content ...
Jake Scott: yeah, it was discontentment for sure. I was only able to see what was-
Rachel Scott: What you didn't like
Jake Scott: what I didn't like, and I think that's another thing that- Creature
Rachel Scott: comfort
Jake Scott: too ... that I've really been learning is, like, what is the difference of preference-
Rachel Scott: Mm-hmm ...
Jake Scott: versus this is a real thing I need to put weight on and, and, like, this is affecting my quality of life.
Rachel Scott: Yeah.
Jake Scott: As someone who is, you know, trying to be a husband and a father and, like, set my family up for success and put us in a good position, like, I need to unlearn this just complete obsession with my own preferences and my own creat- Like, yes, LA doesn't have a, a really, uh, vibrant-
Rachel Scott: Fall
Jake Scott: variety of seasons. [00:17:00] But it's spring also all year long. Like, it's okay, bro. Yeah. You're gonna be fine. And also, like, you know, certain things, it's, it's crowded. It's a big city. I like... You know, I grew up in a small town. I, I, you know, prefer these certain things. And although those, those things are, are important, and it's not like, oh, th- those don't matter at all, it's not something you base your life off of.
Rachel Scott: No. A- and I do think there's a difference, though, in the things that are surface level versus the things that truly go deep and really affect you, and that's what-
Jake Scott: Yeah ...
Rachel Scott: and that's what takes time to figure out. And I, but I do think we've decided seasons will not be one of the things- No ...
Jake Scott: that
Rachel Scott: decide where we live.
That
Jake Scott: will never drive, weather will never drive a, a decision for where we're gonna live again. And honestly, neither- It
Rachel Scott: didn't this time. We're getting ahead of ourselves.
Jake Scott: Yeah, yeah.
Rachel Scott: But you, he had really let, I think- Mm ... things like the weather in LA, which sounds-
Jake Scott: Oh, it's so, so, so, uh, first world problem, 'cause it's perfect weather in LA.
Rachel Scott: Yes. However, it's fine if that's not your jam. People like [00:18:00] seasons. Yeah, yeah. That's a normal thing. And I also think it wasn't- But I
Jake Scott: was making it way too big of a deal ...
Rachel Scott: and it wasn't just that, though. There's a pace of life there that w- that can be hard for you, or- Naturally,
Jake Scott: yeah.
Rachel Scott: You're right. So some of it, it's not all you being Mister, you know, Comfort Boy.
But at that point, you realized, we both realized, "Okay, we are going to go back to LA. We are going to, you know, have different attitudes about it."
Jake Scott: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Scott: And that's what we did. We moved back a couple... We found a house there. We moved back. And the most amazing thing to me about that time, we really prayed into that, like, is this
Jake Scott: what- Oh, a ton.
Rachel Scott: Yeah. Is this where we're supposed to go? We, we were starting to wake up to our... Well, no. I think we were still pretty asleep to our craziness. But we were definitely at least, like, we just backed out of a house in Nashville and we need to slow our roll.
Jake Scott: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Scott: But then we didn't, 'cause that very day we decided- We didn't slow our
Jake Scott: roll
Rachel Scott: at all, babe
no, we are moving back- We just redirected ... and here's, here's a house that we want there, and we're gonna fly out and try and put an offer in.
Jake Scott: And went 100,000 miles an hour, didn't even slightly- So, yeah.
Rachel Scott: We were still F1 [00:19:00] drivers in the r- in the right direction this time. Wrong, you know.
Jake Scott: Yeah. But, I mean, I think for us at the time, and, and honestly, we're, we're just now learning this lesson, and this is, what, five years later?
Four years later?
Rachel Scott: Yeah. Five.
Jake Scott: We, we just let that drive the ship. We let this, this-
Rachel Scott: The, the excitement, the passion, the, the romance ...
Jake Scott: yeah, the romance. You kind of get a whim and, and you just ride the wave all the way there without kind of stopping to say, "Okay, cool. I feel that. That doesn't mean this is the destiny of my life.
I just need to weigh this, accept this."
Rachel Scott: And look at other elements that add into this decision versus just our feelings about it. Ah. You know? Uh-huh. Uh, but the great thing about that time was that was exactly where we were meant to be. Yeah, it was. We were very much- We
Jake Scott: needed to go back.
Rachel Scott: Oh, yeah. We, and we did, and it was those, let's see- 'Cause spoiler alert, we've since left LA.
Uh, this was ... We were there. We, [00:20:00] we bought a house, and that's where we had our first two kids.
Jake Scott: First two kids.
Rachel Scott: Um, I keep forgetting I'm pregnant. Uh, that's- About to be number
Jake Scott: three.
Rachel Scott: Yes. But we ... And it was just very, very right, I think for a lot of reasons, one of which you got to ... You did get to have a re- Yeah
just a new relationship with the city that we really, truly love so, so much. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And also, we met in that time, 'cause we had been there prior to leaving, like we said, seven or eight years, and then this last- Three. Three and a half, three ... three, three or four year- three years that we were there before moving, we met, like, several friends, new friends that are lifelong- Yeah
family, best friends- That ... that i- had we not moved back, they wouldn't have been in our life in that way. Yeah. And that, to me, I'm just like, that is such proof that we were, we were just so, so, so meant to go back.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: And so we did. You know, we s- skirted out of that almost wrong decision, got into the right city, into the right place, and h- and the right, just so many [00:21:00] beautiful relationships.
Mm-hmm. So that was the next few years. We had two babies, life is transformed. Jake's on tour. We're doing all the things. Uh, and then starting two years ago now, we were still in LA two years ago. Mm-hmm. But we started... It was different than, I would say, the discontentment you had experienced because for the first time- Yeah
I started feeling, okay, I, a change is coming. A change is coming. Where... Are we going to stay here? Are we gonna raise... 'Cause w- I do believe once you get, n- li- fill in the blank. Once you get older, once you have kids, once you get married, whatever life change happens for you that makes you think about a longer term plan, that was happening for us.
Mm-hmm. We had two kids. Neither of us are from there. But I think it was something deeper than that. We just, we could just sense, where are we going? Yeah. What is our life gonna look like for the next 10 or 20 years? Um, and we had known when we went back to LA, it was not in this place of, I'm talking about in 2021, it [00:22:00] wasn't from a place of we're gonna be there forever.
It was a, let's take our life three, for the next three to five years, where are we going to be? Yeah, truly. And that's what we did, and then we got to the end of that first three years, and it was back. And we just knew, okay, a change is coming. Yeah. Maybe part of what we had sensed three years before, but wrong timing, it was now the right timing.
And so the only obvious place was back to Nashville, which still-
Jake Scott: Yeah ...
Rachel Scott: didn't-
Jake Scott: It didn't feel right to us, like, deep down. I think, I think I was at a point, like you said, just kind of surface level things of raising two kids, no family around. A lot of people do it, but for us, it was just-
Rachel Scott: Yeah, this
Jake Scott: is so individual
Rachel Scott: it was piling
Jake Scott: up. Mm-hmm. Yeah, for our unique situation, like, it was just piling up, and we both felt that, like you said, the change was coming. And on paper, Nashville was the only thing that made sense 'cause the music industry's there, the film industry is, is growing there. We already have a lot of friends there.
It seemed like a no-brainer
Rachel Scott: It w- seemed like a no-brainer, but something deep down felt wrong. And-
Jake Scott: Well, and we were praying about this a ton Oh, time and time We were, we were just being like, [00:23:00] "God, you gotta show us
Rachel Scott: what to
Jake Scott: do-
Rachel Scott: Because I also think- ...
Jake Scott: where to go" ...
Rachel Scott: we both felt we are n- we don't want to go back to that place we had been in for a couple years of circling- Yeah, yeah
the same conversation of are we staying, are we going? It's just, it gets old. And so- Yeah ... we knew, okay, we need to have this conversation, but we do not wanna do that, that same kind of cycle again. And so we said, "Let's give ourselves until Christmas time of that year to really think through are we staying, are we going?
Once we decide, we're done talking about
Jake Scott: it." Mm-hmm.
Rachel Scott: And so we were on a plane on the way back from Arkansas to LA, and that was, like, our deadline, and we were separated, and I was holding Shepherd and Jake had Ruby. And I remember- And
Jake Scott: for whatever reason, I was in, like, the back of the plane, and you were in the front of the plane
Rachel Scott: Ballin' Also, there was a long delay.
I remember it was 5:00 in the morning. Yeah, we were chilling on the tarmac- For some reason
Jake Scott: we were on the
Rachel Scott: runway ... for, like, an hour. Yes. And Shepherd was sleeping, and so I just had time to [00:24:00] be like, "We're still right where we were before, you know, three months ago when we set this deadline or however long, and we still don't know where we're gonna go.
Just, God, where are we gonna go?" And I just felt the word Fayetteville, which is Jake's hometown. And it felt like this piece of the puzzle that came into place that was the missing part the whole time. It just felt so right. It's one of those things that when I felt it, I knew I couldn't un-feel it. I couldn't un-know it.
And yeah, it was just, it was just right. And, and we had never... We had discussed, 'cause Jake obviously loves his hometown. I've always loved his hometown. We've been married almost 10 years, so I've been coming here with him many, many years. I've always loved it. And so it wasn't like, "What?" It, it was only like that because it's not an obvious place to move with the work that we do.
You know? No, yeah It was- Not at all. Made no sense on paper Yeah. No sense on paper. However, I will say COVID was changing things where you, uh, a lot of people [00:25:00] were leaving and you could do- Yeah ... a lot more remotely.
Jake Scott: Especially, I can speak for the music industry, we all learned how to work remotely very well.
Exactly.
Rachel Scott: So it was fine. So it wasn't that, it wasn't as crazy as, you know, if it were 2018 or something. But it still felt so left field. So obviously I had to maximize the drama a little bit over that flight. Tell Jake- Classic ... "Oh, look, feeling something big."
Jake Scott: Yeah. She's sending me these cryptic texts
Rachel Scott: Yeah.
Cryptic, cryptic. I had to torture him for our 45-minute flight to Dallas- Before we connected to LA. So I obviously tell him. He's shocked, but as I... We've been married long enough and we're so connected, but also I just, I knew it was... It really felt like- God saying it, and so I knew he was going to take it, just intuitively, in the way that I did, which he did.
Like, this just feels right.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: And so for the next few months... Actually, we did do this part right. We prayed. We didn't talk to anyone about it at first. True. We told no one. We, we prayed about it. It was, this was December. And now this is Jake's personality. He was [00:26:00] like, "Well, let's move in February." And I was like, "You're psycho.
We can't... We need to s- one, we have a house to sell. Two, like, just slow, slow, slow."
Jake Scott: That's not my, that's not my... Historically, that's never been my speed. Once I get an idea-
Rachel Scott: Oh ...
Jake Scott: I'm gone. It's like once I cross over, there is no delay. I just, I just move. Which
Rachel Scott: I actually- I go ... think is a great quality. You just have to learn wisdom in it, because you will be like-
Jake Scott: Yeah
Rachel Scott: "What? We can just leave all our stuff at the house, right?"
Jake Scott: It's, it's- "And be gone?" Yeah, this, this is lit- this is the, where we are right now, is me unlearning, or I guess learning to add, add some wisdom and maturity to that quality. 'Cause I agree, it is a- No,
Rachel Scott: it's a great quality ...
Jake Scott: it's a great quality. It's, it's benefited me a lot in, in work and my career, but it definitely has led us into some-
Rachel Scott: It's actually-
Jake Scott: some catastrophic moments.
Rachel Scott: Well, I do think that's one area where we're, where our differences are good, because I am always the bumper to you in the... Or, no, what's the word, the brakes to you in that.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: [00:27:00] For the most part.
Jake Scott: You, you always at least interject reason. No, I did. And you're like, "Hold on, hold
on,
Rachel Scott: hold
Jake Scott: on."
And
Rachel Scott: I, and I, I said to you, "We need six months," and when did we move? Six months later.
Jake Scott: Well, yeah, you nailed it, but I couldn't... At the time, I was like, "How could we possibly stay six more months?" No. Like, "We have to leave now."
Rachel Scott: He's like a kid- "We're ready" ... where it's like, "It's not Christmas yet."
Jake Scott: Yeah. No, literally.
Rachel Scott: And it's literally December 23rd. He's like, "I can't wait that long."
Jake Scott: But you, yeah, I mean, honestly, the, you're totally right. We, we really prayed about it a lot in, in that season, and we felt just the more we prayed about it, the more peace we felt. Because obviously you get this initial moment of excitement, and then enough dust settles and you're kinda like, "Wait, are we out of our minds for doing this?"
Right. "We're leaving our entertainment industry city of Los Angeles-
Rachel Scott: Which we love ...
Jake Scott: the, which we absolutely love Los Angeles. We were gonna go to Nashville. That makes total sense, and then we're going to Arkansas, which is a lovely place- But we, I don't feel like we ever had- ... but there's no entertainment industry
Rachel Scott: there's none, but I don't feel like we ever had that doubtful moment. I feel [00:28:00] like l- I th- I, I, I mean, correct me if your memory's different, but I feel like once we had that conversation in December, we knew enough to not share it with anyone so that we could protect our own process with it, and al- and not get outward, outside opinions before we were ready.
But also just really take it slow. I don't feel like there was ever a moment where... I think we maybe in our he- had the conversation of, "Wow, this feels really random," but deep down we always knew it was right.
Jake Scott: Yeah. There was a deep sense of peace- Yes ... that it was the right thing to do. Yeah. Even though any time we told a friend or anybody like that, they were like Are you, what?
Rachel Scott: Yeah, some of them, but we, we had so much support too. Yeah.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: So much support. And I think a big part of this, a big part of another area of growth and another episode for sure is- ... letting go of the need to be understood by anyone. Oh. I mean...
Jake Scott: Highlight that-
Rachel Scott: Yeah ...
Jake Scott: as an episode.
Rachel Scott: There's just- That could be
Jake Scott: a series
Rachel Scott: there's always going to be people who w- maybe don't understand you or maybe just actually fully disagree with you, but it-
Jake Scott: Mm-hmm ...
Rachel Scott: you know, you gotta let most of that go. [00:29:00] Yeah. Oh, yeah. And there's, I, I do also feel like- Oh, yeah ... an, uh, an asterisk to that is there should be those two or three people who you are looking to for- Mm-hmm
for wisdom from God and just life wisdom- Yeah ... who you do listen to and take seriously. But outside of that, the, the voices, you know. But we didn't have that. Everyone very close to us was so on board, so supportive. As we started telling people, our families were on board, our best friends were on board, and that felt really, really good to have that support.
Yeah. I think it was more the people who we didn't know well at all who you say it to- Yeah ... and you, they're like, "Where?" They're like, "You're moving to Arkansas?" "
Jake Scott: Is
Rachel Scott: that in America?" Oh, boy. Yeah. Yeah. And it felt, it felt like that, those were the harder voices for me, which is funny 'cause they matter, the people who aren't close to you, like, you know.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: Letting that go is part of my life-
Jake Scott: Yes ...
Rachel Scott: journey.
Jake Scott: Yes.
Rachel Scott: Um, so yeah, so we, we did it. We sold our house, and we moved here to Arkansas about a year and a half ago now.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: And- Summer
Jake Scott: of 2024.
Rachel Scott: Yeah. And it was, it was really such an easy process [00:30:00] moving.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: We sold our house very easily.
Jake Scott: Thank- thankfully.
Rachel Scott: Yeah, so yes. Sold our house easily. The, uh, as we, the same place that we lived on Jake's parents'-
Jake Scott: The barn ...
Rachel Scott: the barn, we moved back into there, and we love, we've loved living there both times. It was such an, it's a beautiful place to live. Our kids were thriving. They are immediately with family because Jake's parents are here.
My whole family is either two hours away or five hours, four and a half hours away. Yeah. So just really- So
Jake Scott: easy. Very drivable.
Rachel Scott: Yeah, so we kind of had some immediate huge benefits of-
Jake Scott: Yeah. You go from this thing where, like, we had no support to so much support- So
Rachel Scott: much support ... overnight. And, and our kids specifically thrive in nature, so they were just- Yeah
out running around, I mean, having the time of their lives. And so we really were feeling this breathing room of, it also felt really good to have made a decision, and we were right, and it was very, a right decision for us, and we felt the fruit of that right away.
Jake Scott: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Scott: So that was kind of when we were like, "Sweet, now we'll make the decisions from [00:31:00] here.
We know, we know our future- Yeah ... and for the next 20 years."
Jake Scott: I mean, yeah. You keep going. I won't cut you off.
Rachel Scott: Well, I mean, that kind of brings us to, to- Yeah. ... our current day- Yeah ... which you, you start. I'll
Jake Scott: start- Well, basically exactly like you just said We get here, we're starting immediately feeling the benefits of, "Oh, this is great."
We feel like we're s- we're where we're supposed to be right now. So obviously we need to be here for the next 15, 20 years, so we should definitely make some, some big time life decisions-
Rachel Scott: Big time commitments
Jake Scott: to this town ... that are going to plant roots here that are gonna last a long, long time. And we never questioned it.
Rachel Scott: No.
Jake Scott: We never went to God and been like, "Hey, you know, we're here. Is this the long term? Is this where we need to settle?" We just took it and we were like, "Sweet, this is what we're doing. Here's, here's our plan. Next 15, 20 years,
Rachel Scott: go." We just got rose-colored glasses on for certain things that [00:32:00] we committed to, and did not seek any wisdom, and the wisdom that we did seek that told us, "Hey, maybe slow your roll," we were like "
Jake Scott: You don't know what you're talking
Rachel Scott: about."
They went in the contractor bucket for me. I was like, "These people will figure this out once they grow up a little
Jake Scott: bit," you know? Well, and we literally, like, as, after we'd been here for a little bit, you know, we were dead set on s- settling down and making... You know, planting roots. And we avoided the people in our life who were telling us, like, "Hey, you know, take it slow.
Maybe get a feel for Arkansas." Rent a house
Rachel Scott: for a couple years.
Jake Scott: Rent a house. Yeah. See how you like it. You might not like it. And-
Rachel Scott: Especially, I am a city girl at heart. That's what makes me laugh when I look back. I think because I, I've, I was raised in, uh, right outside Dallas, Texas. I did go to a small, smaller college town, but college isn't the same, you know.
Yeah. And then I lived in LA- Yeah ... for 12 years. Huge cities. So I'm just a city girl. And, well, actually, I really want you to get into your [00:33:00] process because I think it's really valuable to hear how much you had convinced yourself- Mm-hmm ... of certain things when we were living somewhere where the grass felt greener elsewhere.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: And then you move to that green grass place, and it was like, wait, the grass is the same in every place. There's some dead, there's some alive, and I am just discontent everywhere.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: Yes. That- D-
Jake Scott: tell me when, yeah.
Rachel Scott: I mean, yeah, I think, I think we just, we just... Not all of it was stupidity or, or should I say stupidity is maybe harsh, but just that quality that we've talked about, that passion leading without- Yeah
any, without... I think it's two elements. Without thinking it through in a wise way, but I also think it's, we weren't thinking with long-term consequences. We could just see-
Jake Scott: Well, we made long, really, really long-term decisions without actually thinking long term. Like, we, we were like, "Oh, we like [00:34:00] this right now?
Sweet. Let's go, let's go make a 15-year decision right now- Having given it a- Honey, we
Rachel Scott: were talking 25.
Jake Scott: Yeah, I know. We were talking like this is- Forever ... this is it. Yeah. This is our new home base for the foreseeable, and we'll just p- people who travel a lot. Where wisdom in our life early on was kinda like, "Hey, try out-
Rachel Scott: Mm-hmm
Jake Scott: Northwest Arkansas. See if it's the right fit for your family. It might not be." And I, in my head, I was like, "I grew up there. I know exactly what it's like." Exactly. "There's no trying it out," like, I know what to expect. And
Rachel Scott: I also had always loved it. Yeah. It was a place that I really genuinely enjoyed coming to.
I mean, before we ever had that moment, well, that plane day where I was like, "Okay, I feel that this is what I'm feeling," I- we had said, "What if we spent summers there?" Yeah. It's just, it's such a beautiful-
Jake Scott: Yeah ...
Rachel Scott: creative little oasis of a town that it, there was a, there is a lot to love. And we just saw that and just didn't...
I, I don't even think, here's the thing. I do think, and I'll speak for myself, I'm curious if you agree. [00:35:00] I do think I think through the long term. I just, if I'm passionate about something, everything has to be positive around it. So it's like, "No, no, no, that negative thing couldn't happen. No, this is only gonna be good.
I can only see the good," which do- maybe sounds nice. It's not, because you ignore things that you shouldn't ignore. And I also, on the flip side, if something's negative, all I can see is the negative. Mm. So You said it, babe. Yeah,
Jake Scott: I
Rachel Scott: did. Uh, anyway, yeah. But you, obviously, we, we had two separate experiences because Jake has idolized this place and idolized living in the South again.
And, and-
Jake Scott: Yeah. And that kind of parlays into what you were saying. Like, I had very much done the whole grass is greener. Because living in LA, the first couple years was a honeymoon phase, and I was like, "Oh, this is so amazing and new, and it's a big city, and it's Hollywood, and it's so fun." And then kinda the reality of, of living there set in, and I was like, "Oh, it's, it's kinda hard to [00:36:00] live here."
Like, there's a ton of people. It's super expensive. It doesn't look on the surface like what I'm used to. Wah, wah, wah. You know, all that stuff. And, and I had kind of in my head romanticized this, this thing, this version of the past. I was like, "Oh, man," but I was, I really liked living in Arkansas 'cause that was like my smaller town, S- southern, you know, geography, seasons, all the thing.
And I had just kind of romanticized all the good things about it. And I just could not, I didn't have the maturity to shake it. I could not let it go. I just kind of like, it grew, and grew, and grew, and grew, and I kept ruminating on it. And I have to say that I feel like God is really teaching me a lot about this, of just that what I was holding onto wasn't reality, it was a fantasy.
Rachel Scott: Mm.
Jake Scott: And fantasy is such an unhealthy, uh, kind of distorted [00:37:00] version- Of a good, like, there's a part of me that is very nostalgic, and I'm very, um, positive. Mm-hmm. And I think that's a good quality. Mm-hmm. But the, kind of the, the distorted underbelly of that is it can turn into fantasy, where it becomes really unhealthy, and it becomes kind of really toxic because you're living in this alternate reality that, that honestly is an inflated sense of what actually is.
Rachel Scott: I think also you, and we both tend to, if you're dealing with something, uh, and this is more you. If I see something negative, I wanna camp out there and figure it out, and it, that can go really unhealthy.
Jake Scott: Well For ,
Rachel Scott: for you, though, you started feeling, in both places now, some negative feelings. Mm-hmm. Which is going to happen anywhere that you go.
Sure.
Jake Scott: It's life.
Rachel Scott: That's the, that's life. But when you feel that, rather than looking at it and dealing with it, and being like, "Okay, maybe this isn't that big of a deal," you either deny it or you tend to go to fantasy of, well, this problem wouldn't exist in X- Uh-huh ... [00:38:00] city.
Jake Scott: Oh, yeah.
Rachel Scott: This, you know, and, and fill in the blank, whatever quality it is, and then the other city's gonna have the opposite.
And you're going to fantasize that place- It'll solve all the problems ...
Jake Scott: yes, exactly. It'll solve all the problems that I have. And then, you know, we move here, and it's amazing here. We love it here.
Rachel Scott: There's- Oh, yeah. In the first six months we didn't question a thing, but I think over the, the year that followed from that first six months, which brings us to now, it was a slow process.
W- and it, you know, obviously we did make a long-term commitment to living here. And we bought a house, and - Yeah, we bought a
Jake Scott: house ...
Rachel Scott: and We're like tiptoeing around. I know. It's like- It's like, yes ... we bought a house. We
Jake Scott: jumped
Rachel Scott: into it- Uh, we jumped in ... so fast We jumped in, and, and, and then it slowly starts creeping up on you, the feelings of, "Was this right?"
Which can be normal when you buy any- when you do anything long-term. For me, I'm always like, "Whoa!" Oh,
Jake Scott: you get buyers remorse about e- Uh- I mean, you had buyers remorse about marrying me. Yeah. Like six months in you were like- Oh ... "Are you sure we're, are you sure?"
Rachel Scott: The fifth
Jake Scott: time. It's just, just weather, weather the storm.
Rachel Scott: Uh, but yeah, [00:39:00] we, we had different experiences as we, as we've said because Jake was going through the process he was just describing. And then for me, I think it became just a feeling of maybe seeing the writing on the wall that I, okay, I don't know if this, if we just gotta... Like, never did we doubt that we were meant to come here.
Jake Scott: 100%.
Rachel Scott: But I think what we realized is we just got way ahead of God and made decisions based off of- Right ... wanting something, wanting a house, wanting to settle down. Mm-hmm. Rose-colored glasses, the whole thing. And we, I slowly woke up to that at the same time, when he went on tour is- Mm-hmm ... when he did, so last summer.
And then I, while he was gone, was kinda like, "Whoa, okay. Is this right?" You know, you're, the, just these feelings. And you also feel like the whole time this is first-world problems. Stop, you know, we have a home to live in.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: Um, at the-
Jake Scott: Very easy to, like minimize it under
Rachel Scott: that Minimize and, and just, just say s- "Stop.
Get over yourself." At the same time, I do believe there's, you know- [00:40:00] A plan for our life. I also started realizing, okay, instead of just saying, "What's the next right thing? Let's run," I was like, "We got ourselves into this, and it is time for us to look at this quality in our marriage and in ourselves that it keeps getting us-
Jake Scott: Yes
Rachel Scott: into these situations- This is holding
Jake Scott: us back ...
Rachel Scott: yeah, that are just- Huge ... ridiculous.
Jake Scott: Yeah. And, and-
Rachel Scott: We're like kids at a candy shop, eating all the Hershey bars and vomiting all night and being like, "Why are we sick?"
Jake Scott: Yeah. Well, and I feel like we got ourselves, we, we jumped into this. We ran so fast, and then we both, at pretty much the exact same time, kind of started having the realization, that sinking feeling again, that I don't know if this is going to be the long-term solution that we thought it was gonna be.
Mm-hmm. And now we, we just bought this house. We've made some big-time decisions, and, and we're both realizing that-
Rachel Scott: We just did all of that
Jake Scott: out of our own- ... maybe this isn't right.
Rachel Scott: Yeah.
Jake Scott: And, and, and although we're here, maybe we weren't [00:41:00] meant to come here for 15, 20 years. Maybe it was to come for one to two years.
Well- Maybe this was a season rather than a, a life ... 100%.
Rachel Scott: And I'm even like, if we had gone with the people around us who we trusted telling us, "Rent for a time and see how you feel"- Test
Jake Scott: it out ...
Rachel Scott: yeah. We may not even feel all... 'Cause I think when you get yourself into a long-term commitment before you're ready, you can then demonize the thing, even if it doesn't deserve that.
Because it's like, I don't know, this place is still great, but we're just, we got way ahead of ourselves and committed to something before the timing was right. Yep. Um, and before we really knew what was next. And I also, I laugh because I know so many people, families who've left LA and gone one place for a little bit of time, and then either moved back to LA- Went back
or gone to another city. Yeah. Because I do think- It's like a pit stop kinda thing ... yeah. I think when you're leaving such a huge life season like we did, and this isn't everyone, but again, I know a few p- families who this has happened with. The, you almost need a breathing moment. And you might end up where, in that place you [00:42:00] go, or it might just be okay.
'Cause our kids are still young enough, you know, we can bop. Ruby's not in kindergarten
Jake Scott: yet. Yeah. Yeah. But we're getting to a point, though, where-
Rachel Scott: Where it's time to-
Jake Scott: Well, and I feel like that's kind of what we're going through right now, is just, is just learning this lesson now that we're here again, and we're looking at each other and we're like, "How did we do this again?"
We got so ahead of ourselves. Well, but last- We rushed into this ...
Rachel Scott: even worse this time. In fact-
Jake Scott: Oh, way worse. Yeah. And so I think for, for me at least, I'm like, okay. I wanna finally kind of l- learn the hard lesson- Oh ... of maturity- Yeah ... of saying, "Hey, before we just run headfirst into this immediately," like, have the passion, have the feelings.
That's a beautiful quality. Now, introduce some wisdom. Find people who are gonna poke holes in this. Find people who are going to say, "Hey, slow down. This is great. Why don't you think about this and pray about this for, like, a few months to see what actually feels right," rather than you get an idea, you make a, you jump off- Oh
a cliff. And because also, like, I don't wanna- Jerk our family around- [00:43:00] No ... and just go be pinballs- No ... just bouncing off the walls here. And so I think, like, the picture I get in my head is me personally, and I think us as a couple, we run so fast that we just run into brick walls. And our marriage together so far has just been running into this brick wall- Mm
and into that brick wall, and into this one, and into that one. And I'm finally ready-
Rachel Scott: Even when it's the right decision to make, we brick wall it. Oh,
Jake Scott: yeah. We just go too fast. Like, you don't have to go
Rachel Scott: that fast.
Jake Scott: Yeah. And, and I- You can s-
Rachel Scott: you can walk ...
Jake Scott: I'm so ready to... And we're there. Like, we're, we're in the process of it.
Oh. I'm so ready to create a life based off of, like, some measured, mature decision-making that is counting all of the, the potential downsides, that is taking into account, like, "Hey, yes, this seems like a great idea, but let's play out, let's play the long-term- Yeah ... s- scenario out here, and let's go slow.
Let's really pray. Let's really seek wisdom." We're trying to figure out what our future is- What our, yeah ... and, like, really seeing what's best, rather than, [00:44:00] for me, what is my preference. It's, it's trying to make a decision based off of what is best- Oh ... for our family. For sure. Where are we gonna thrive?
What's gonna set us up for true... Like, to flourish, you know?
Rachel Scott: 100%. I mean, we've been in this process now for six months. 'Cause it took us a couple months of feeling this an- over the summer, having, skirting around conversations together of, "Are you feeling this? I'm kinda feeling this." "Can you really picture us?
Is this really right?" Oh, man. And then he goes on tour, and ha- you know, he's... That, that's kind of what opened him up to it, like we said. Mm-hmm. And for me, the same time, 'cause he was gone. And so he gets home from tour. We find out we're pregnant shortly after, which obviously rocks your world. And, and I think all of this became this just, in the fall, giant wake-up call, where I, I look back over the past six months, and I'm just like, I feel like we're different people.
Jake Scott: Oh, man.
Rachel Scott: I, I, I never, in any of the decisions we've made that are in... This is definitely the biggest we've ever done. Um, we've, we've been kinda saved from the [00:45:00] crazy decisions before, or stopped ourselves, by the grace of God. Uh-huh. This time, we in it, baby. And-
Jake Scott: We are in the deep end.
Rachel Scott: Yeah. And I think, I feel like we are awake.
I, we are awake to this pattern- Yes ... in ourselves, in our marriage. And I just, I don't wanna have to eat my words in 5 or 10 years, but I am, like- ... we will not make these mistakes again. The, I, I, I- Yeah ... know also that passion is, is a gift. It's just we've, we're, like, one of those... It's, passion I, is wh- a thoroughbred horse that has not been trained, and, and we need to be broken.
And we are being broken right now.
Jake Scott: We
Rachel Scott: are. We are. We are. And it, you know, you look at, we have a-
Jake Scott: Still stallions, I must say,
Rachel Scott: but- Oh, baby, baby girl, you are a stallion. But at the same time, we have more at stake now. I mean, thank God our kids are so little-
Jake Scott: Yeah ...
Rachel Scott: that- But you still think about, "Okay, we will not make this mistake again because we have children-" Mm-hmm.
who are depending on us for stability." We have, we have ourselves who need stability. Mm-hmm. And we wanna really build a [00:46:00] life and not pinball around, like you said. And so I look back at it, and I think it took me until the past month to, to not feel really angry with myself, and I, a- and I've had to really forgive myself-
Jake Scott: Mm-hmm
Rachel Scott: for just being so blind, being entitled, being, you know- Yeah ... I... All I could see was the pretty thing. And, and thinking, "It'll work out, it'll work out, it'll work out," and that is just... You know, I can feel it coming up as I'm saying this, so there's still more self-forgiveness to happen, but just disgust at that.
Mm-hmm. And, and, and now that it's, it's kinda like if you were at a huge, giant, hedonistic feast, and you were just drunk with it, and then you wake up in the middle of it and are sober, and you're like, "Oh, what? I was eating that? I was doing..." You know? It, that's what it feels like- Yeah ... we've done. And it's just you're the big, fat guy with food dripping down your belly.
I mean, I'm serious. I'm one of those, like- Yeah ... European paintings from [00:47:00] 1794. And it is d- I'm just so, so done, but I also-
Jake Scott: Oh, man, this analogy's just so disgusting.
Rachel Scott: It's... Babe, welcome to my life, okay?
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: But our, one of our friends said this to us two weeks ago. We were telling them this whole thing, and I was like, "You know, I, we are, we're really having to deal with being mad at ourselves for being here, and, and we are not...
You know." I think we look at this as we ha- we almost... I don't know. I, I said something like, "We're not gonna have to, we're not gonna make this mistake again. You know, we're not gon- this isn't gonna happen again." And the guy goes, "Oh, it only took you two times?" Something like that. And it-
Jake Scott: Two, two colossal
Rachel Scott: breakdowns.
Yeah, and it really... I, he said it jokingly, but it gave me s- so kindly such a grace for myself of I'm just a human, you know? Yeah. Uh, why am I expecting- Yeah. Now, I've made mistakes, but even expecting too much of yourself is almost like you're not God. You're gonna keep screwing up.
Jake Scott: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Scott: And if it takes you twice, if it takes you 10 [00:48:00] times, there's grace that meets you there.
There is. Yeah. And, and to hold, withhold forgiveness from yourself is also an act of, I think... I, what's the word I'm looking for? You're putting yourself too high on a pedestal. You messed up.
Jake Scott: It's, like, self-importance almost?
Rachel Scott: Self-importance. Yeah. You're a human, and you did it, you did it without God. You made some decisions that w- Yeah,
Jake Scott: it's kind of almost like the opposite side of the coin.
It is. It's like you're, you're beating yourself up so hard, it's almost like you're
Rachel Scott: still obsessed with yourself. Oh, oh, do you, do you put yourself- Yeah ... on the Jesus throne here? Yeah. Like, no, you're not, and you messed up. And yeah, learn from it, and don't... And we will not make these mistakes again. However, yeah, it's just time.
We're moving forward, and every... It feels so good because I think another throughline I've thought about through this story- Is that often through these types of conversations of where we're gonna live, where we're gonna raise our family, where we're gonna root, we've kind of had... Clearly we're married, we're together.
I don't care if we're in, you know, the South Pole. We're not separate, like, we're gonna be together. But we've had different opinions, different desires [00:49:00] about what we want-
Jake Scott: Yeah ...
Rachel Scott: where to be, and I feel like we are so strongly on the same page- Mm-hmm ... about the future. Which is essentially there's a lot of options on the table, and we are like, "Great, we're not touching any of those until we are for sure we have the same..."
We're just of the same mind right now, and that feels really good.
Jake Scott: It feels really good, and, and I will say, I have never felt less confident about the future. Not confident, less sure about the future. In a
Rachel Scott: good way.
Jake Scott: In a good way. Yeah. I feel like I'm, I am truly surrendered to it for the first time in my life, and I, and I feel like I am really, really growing in letting go of my preferences.
Because with this, I'm just like, "I wanna be what is, where is best for us. I wanna do what is best for us," and, like, "God, y- I am not, I will not get ahead of you again." Yeah. "I will stay one step behind you at all times." And so, like, that is feeling really-
Rachel Scott: It's feeling re- ... good
Jake Scott: for the first
Rachel Scott: time ... we feel, yeah, stripped bare in a really good way where it's [00:50:00] kinda like, well, who cares about our preference?
You know? And I-
Jake Scott: Right ...
Rachel Scott: I say that, and I wanna also be like, but God, al- there, there, there's a dance there. There's a
Jake Scott: dance.
Rachel Scott: There's a dance, but for you and me- For yeah ... letting go of our preferences- It has been the number one ... is the, is the key to this season. And it, it isn't even forced right now. Yeah. I'm just like, I don't care what it is, where it is, I am so good to be where our family is meant to be.
We're gonna be together. We are not going to make foolish decisions. We- Yeah ... okay, obviously we're not done. We will continue to mis- mess up- Well, yeah ... until we die.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: But at the same time, you can mess up in new and all together different ways. Time
Jake Scott: to shed this skin
Rachel Scott: then. Time to shed this skin. And it really feels like this massive turning point and maturing and s- shedding in a really good way.
Yeah,
Jake Scott: yeah.
Rachel Scott: Mind you, that's on the good days. There's still days where we're like, "We are f- gonna have a baby. We have two other kids." Oh, my gosh. "Where are we going? What are we doing? What is happening?" And then there's this- There's obviously, we have a slew of decisions to make and that we're trying to make, and a lot of them are out of our control, and some of them are in our control- Mm
and it's [00:51:00] all self-imposed. And so you feel like you're eating your own junk that you- ... like, you, you emptied your garbage pan on the table and are like, "Now I have to eat that, and it is my fault." Uh-huh. Yeah. But that's where we are, and we are humbled in the best way.
Jake Scott: Yeah. I feel like w- w- we right now are at a turning point in our life.
Turning point, yeah. And I, and I, I'm, I'm excited about the fut- I'm excited about the future. I feel like we are about to have a fresh start-
Rachel Scott: Mm-hmm ...
Jake Scott: in, in the first- Real, real, real way since we've been married, and we've been married almost 10 years. It feels like the first 10 years was us just kind of working through so much of this.
I mean, again, we still have so much immaturity to go, but we had to really- In this, in this area, yes ... really grow out of this pattern.
Rachel Scott: Yeah.
Jake Scott: And I feel like it took running into this brick wall to finally say like- Wake us up ... I don't wanna [00:52:00] keep living like this.
Rachel Scott: No.
Jake Scott: I wanna do it differently. I wanna live differently, and there is a lot of hope for the future in that.
But we have some, uh, some interesting days ahead of us just because, you know- Right ... we've got a baby coming. We've got change coming.
Rachel Scott: There's the most at, at... We have a lot at stake right now. Yeah. And again, so mu- some of it is out of our control, so most of it is self-imposed. So we're not
Jake Scott: saying that- But that's a good thing.
That's a good way to say. Like, the stakes feel so much higher now because there are not only just the two of us dealing with the consequences of it. There's three ki- you know. But there's, yeah, we're about to have our third child, and, like, they are along for this ride with us, and I don't wanna- No ... run them into brick walls.
Rachel Scott: I just, I, I can't even... I, I wish I could show the inside of my brain to show how much it feels like, I think more than any other time in my life, mm, mm, maybe one other time I can think of, but it is a waking up feeling, where truly we were asleep and we [00:53:00] woke up and we're looking around and we're like, "Whoa, how have we been living with all this in the room?"
What do we do? We're clearing out the junk. We are making new decisions. I'm gonna be a monk. You're gonna be my little servant.
Jake Scott: Oh, I don't get to be a monk. I'm the servant to the monk.
Rachel Scott: Serve me, serve me water. Serve-
Jake Scott: Just water- I'll eat his rations ... 'cause you don't eat
Rachel Scott: anymore. No, you can be a monk with me.
I'll be your servant. But yeah- It is ... it just, it just feels like we have woken up. Mm. And, and it, what feels so good is the unity that I think we really- Yeah ... feel. We are so equally to blame in this. We have been in it together. There's no... It's us, and it's us coming out of it together.
Jake Scott: Yeah.
Rachel Scott: Like a phoenix
Jake Scott: from the ashes.
Sing that again. Go, keep going.
Rachel Scott: That's it.
Jake Scott: Give, give us something.
Rachel Scott: Period.
Jake Scott: So anyway, that's where we are. That's our life
Rachel Scott: now. Wait, hold on. I feel like I have one more thought.
Jake Scott: Hit, drop it. Come on.
Rachel Scott: I just feel like in wrapping, I'm like, do we have... Yeah, we're in this place. Everything is on the table, and I think what's cool is [00:54:00] it- we are humbled.
There are days we're panicked. There are days we feel-
Jake Scott: Oh, yeah. We have at least two days a week I feel like we have, like, a hurricane.
Rachel Scott: Uh-huh. Where we're just both like, "What have we done? What are we doing?"
Jake Scott: Where are we going?
Rachel Scott: Where are we going? What's our life? Yeah. This
Jake Scott: baby's coming. What's our future?
Rachel Scott: And, and we also feel, the thing that I think we're both battling is feeling just stupid, feeling, feeling- Mm-hmm ... and also then entitled around it because it's just like, you know, this is all the things you can imagine. We're feeling all those things and, and yet through it- Still feel that passion, baby
Jake Scott: Oh.
Rachel Scott: Still like- I
Jake Scott: am fired up ...
Rachel Scott: still like, "What's next, though?" I'm jacked. I will not, I will, I will yield, uh, the, the whole, the, the cool thing is, and maybe this is passion being, starting to be refined and matured, is if it was, you know, this kind of could be a toxic drug before, now it's something that's actually gonna be good for me.
Yeah. It's like, okay, that's part of it, but, but-
Jake Scott: Mm, mm-hmm ...
Rachel Scott: you know- Mm-hmm ... this is, this can point me in the right direction instead of sometimes destroying my life and-
Jake Scott: Yeah. I think it's a beautiful quality if it is [00:55:00] held correctly. But if it... It's almost like it has, the passion has to be in the passenger seat, and we have to totally let it drive the car.
Rachel Scott: Yeah, like children. Yeah.
Jake Scott: They... Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But it, it is, it's, it's... I feel like we're finally putting it in its right place, and it feels, it feels good to... It feels good to say that it's still there.
Rachel Scott: Oh, yeah.
Jake Scott: It just feels
Rachel Scott: like it's- Well, it's been a part of me and you before we were ever together.
Yeah. I mean, I look back at every boyfriend I had was my husband. I was like, uh, you know, like every... I was p- fully passionate about every single thing I did. Ugh. And often I'd then wake up six months later and be like, "Huh?"
Jake Scott: Oh, man.
Rachel Scott: But yeah, it, I, yeah. I just, it feels we're humbled before you, and-
Jake Scott: Yes ...
Rachel Scott: we might have...
Who knows? We don't know what's gonna happen, but we are taking it one step at a time-
Jake Scott: Yeah ...
Rachel Scott: slowly and hopefully way, with way more wisdom than ever before.
Jake Scott: And again, like, to, just to reiterate, that, that is, like, w- kind of gonna be the through line of this podcast- Yeah ... is we don't, we're not [00:56:00] experts. We're not gonna come giving you advice, but we have, we have made a lot of mistakes.
We've run into a lot of brick walls, and so we're gonna talk about it, and we're gonna go through it in real time. So that is where we are- Mm-hmm ... in real time, catching you up to speed-
Rachel Scott: Yep ...
Jake Scott: so that we can kind of set the new foundation for where we're going from
Rachel Scott: here. Yeah, with everything on the table in all the areas.
Yeah. And, and it feels good. It's hard, but it's good.
Jake Scott: Yep.
Rachel Scott: Hi- higher stakes than ever, but real change and building can happen from this place, so.
Jake Scott: Preach.
Rachel Scott: Yeah. All right, I guess that's it. I could just keep going for a long time.
Jake Scott: We'll be back.
Rachel Scott: We'll be back.