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The Space for Sistas™ Podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Dominique Pritchett, a mental wellness strategist, speaker and therapist along with guests. We explore all topics related to sisterhood, skills and solutions centering on mental wellness without sacrificing our identities as Black women. This week we're joined by Tahauya Jackson, MBA. She is a former people pleaser, overachiever, the golden child and trauma survivor turned self-worth and wellness coach . Tahauya's superpower...
The Space for Sistas® Podcast is a weekly-ish chat with Dr. Dominique Pritchett and guests about all things health and wellness leaving you with actionable solutions to step into our most authentic selves.
Welcome to the space versus this
podcast.
I'm your host, Dr.
Dominique Pritchett.
Today I am joined by to Hoya
Jackson.
Hello.
Hey, Dominic, how are you?
I am.
Well, how are you feeling?
I'm feeling amazing.
Happy to be here today.
Love it.
Love it.
Let me introduce our guests.
To Jolla Jackson, M B a is a
former people, pleaser,
overachiever, golden child, and
trauma survivor turned mindset,
coach and certified trauma
professional.
Her super power is helping
mentally exhausted women
overcome past hurt so they can
finally feel safe enough to
surrender to the calling on
their life.
Through her signature coaching
programs and social media
platforms.
She is devoted to helping women
shift their minds.
Reframe their thoughts and show
up for themselves.
Unapologetically.
In addition, she is a
transformational speaker.
Founder of the global mental
health awareness movement.
Hey girl heal.
And the mother of two amazing
and gentle parenting children.
Welcome again.
Thank you for having me.
You're so welcome.
Before we dive in.
I'm curious.
When you hear the three words,
space, four sisters.
What does this mean to you?
I suppose for sisters, for me
definitely means a space of
freedom, um, where black and
brown women feel safe and secure
to be themselves to just let it
all hang out.
Right.
Because we walked throughout
this world with having it all
together and we, we feel the
need to have it all together.
And I feel the space for
assistant is a place where we
can just come and just be
ourselves unapologetically,
where we're also learning about
ourselves and rediscovering
ourselves.
And you redefining what success
and happiness in life looks like
for us outside of, the people
pleasing in, the past trauma,
different things like that.
So that's what I feel that space
for sisters means.
I love that.
I love the part of learning
about ourselves.
Because when we are in a
collective space or a space with
a few, I see when I see another
sister, I see a mirror or a
reflection of not just the
struggle, but the strive to just
keep showing up.
And so we get to learn about
ourselves through each other.
So I love that you mentioned
that.
But, yes.
So when you are not out here
transforming hearts,
transforming lives with the
global mental health movement.
Hey girl.
Hey.
And it's just so fun to say, by
the way.
What do you do for fun?
For fun and leisure.
I might not look like you, but
I'm a sports girl.
I love watching sports.
I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan.
Do not Boomi.
Y'all.
But Dallas Cowboys fan.
I also love, I play volleyball
majority of my life before I
went to college.
volleyball is something that I
love.
My daughter recently said she
wanted to play she's nine.
So I'm super excited about that.
Definitely volleyball spending
time with my family, my
boyfriend, and I talk about true
love versus trauma.
I live a lot on my Facebook
platform.
I'm a family oriented person
too.
I love doing new things with my
family and also traveling.
Okay.
Wherever I can go on a beach or
an island, or just wherever
Airbnb to get a break, I let it
to y'all.
And look, we, and we follow each
other on the socials and y'all
know how it is.
Y'all see, all size.
One of the things I love about
you is that you just don't.
Paint the rosy side of what it's
like to continue healing through
your experiences.
You really educate people, you
break it down and you make the
things so relatable.
Yes.
And the crazy thing that you say
relatable.
That's one of the, the values
and promises that I stand on is
to always be real, raw and
relatable.
And even in my like
questionnaire, when people, my
clients come to work with me or
fill out the interest form, one
of the things is like, what
inspired you to connect me to a
lawyer?
And all of them are like, she
was relatable.
I could see myself in her.
I definitely value that,
wholeheartedly.
I love it.
So traveling, definitely my love
language.
I like to be gone maybe every
other month.
Where have you traveled to
recently?
And what did you take away from
that experience?
I recently traveled to Atlanta,
Georgia for the, uh, impact
weekend I went there and I was
in a room of 150.
Black women in business, just to
be like Dominic said earlier
about the collective, like the
feeling of being around people
who not only understand you, but
are walking the same walk that
you're walking.
They are headed towards success.
Right.
Being there was definitely.
I opened it for me.
And I'm transforming during that
time, just to share a quick
story.
I was able to open up my eyes to
the poverty and lack mindset
that I still had lingering
within me.
I ordered room service.
Right.
I had never ordered room service
in my life.
I'm just the type of person I'm
like, I just don't get it
myself.
Because I just want to do
something, but ordering room
side of it booking the flight
and the trip there.
When I said the hotel that we
stayed in was luxurious and I
heard this in my head.
It was like, what would your mom
think if she knew that you spent
your mortgage?
Just stay here for three days.
And that was like, okay.
Honestly don't care.
Like that was my new toy.
Your response, like, I don't
care.
However, the negative thoughts
played into my mind in reference
to the hotel costs and in
reference to me ordering room
service, right.
I only got a burglary.
I think it was like$35.
But it was like girl, you know,
the lack mindset and the
negative thoughts that play when
you grow up in poverty or when
you grow up in lag, try to come
back.
And I realized that there was
some more work that I need to do
from a money mindset perspective
to reach the financial and
wealth goals that I desired, not
only for my business, but for my
family as well.
Absolutely.
And it wasn't about the burger
or I'm dialing room service.
It's, you know what I want to
experience being catered to, I
want to experience, All of it
from room service, probably to
valet, to just booking the
flight.
What motivated you?
To go through that experience.
I would definitely say.
The elevation process.
I'm just on this whole journey
of, I want to experience more in
every aspect of life.
No matter what it looks like, no
matter what it costs, no matter
what I have to sacrifice to get
it or what I have to go through
to get to it.
I want to be able to experience
this, not only for myself, but
to be able to go back and share
this story with women who think
that these things are
impossible, right.
For women who feel so bogged
down by their brokenness or the
things that they've been through
in life, that they feel that
there's no joy or peace or
happiness on the other side of
life.
Being able to be, the first
generational curse breaker in my
family.
That's one of the things that I
wholeheartedly stand on and what
excites me a lot to do different
things and to embrace different
experiences.
There's a really good book by
Dan Sullivan is called who not
the, how the formula to achieve
bigger goals through.
Accelerating teamwork.
The book is really good as
you're building and growing your
business, but also it's a
snapshot to how to look at your
poverty mindset, your, trauma
relationship with money, all of
those things that stopping us
from living our legacy.
Many of us spend time building
our legacy, leaving a legacy,
but are we living our legacy?
Yes, it's related to teamwork
and business, but I apply it to
personal as well.
Who do I need in my life to give
me time back?
I could have ran down to the
restaurant, spent a 90 minutes
ordering my food, but room
service allowed me to get just a
little bit more time back for
me.
Yep.
Exactly.
So who not the how.
That's what I am hearing and it
really can help us shift out of
that poverty mindset.
And here's the thing we know
with poverty, coms trauma.
And part of that trauma is I'll
trust.
Nobody.
I can do a by myself.
It's the whole superwoman thing.
Take off the Cape, since we are
giving you permission, this is
your invitation to take off that
Cape because it's heavy.
It's going to be.
And it's cute.
It might be cute, but it's
costing you.
Yes.
Tell us.
About.
Who are you growing up?
Me growing up.
Now I can say this from this
space.
I was a nerd.
Like I was going to nurse my
entire life.
I used to like, people used to
pick on me for it, but now I
fully embrace it.
Like I love learning.
I grew up in a single parent
home.
My mom got pregnant with me and
shortly after that, my dad went
to prison.
So the first four years of my
life was basically wrote weekend
road trips to see my dad, to
develop some type of
relationship with him.
My mom was a single parent.
We were more like best friends
as opposed to mom and daughter.
When I.
Emerged into this
entrepreneurship space.
I realized that that was one of
the main reasons why I lacked
discipline.
However, it's on me now to
create discipline within me.
As I'm on this new journey.
My mom, she's amazing.
I would, she was fully, we were
fully emerged in the church.
I was in every youth.
Any committee ushering choir
that you can imagine.
I feel like my mom was the, pray
about it type person when we had
things going on, that's what she
knew.
That's what she had.
Exactly.
I was a overachiever, so I was
the person who would cry in my
room and lock myself in the
room.
When I got an 89.
Cause I was like, I need an, a.
And so my dad wasn't there for
me and my dad lived in the same
city.
However, he was not, fully
active in my life.
I barely stopped him when he got
out of prison.
When he got out of prison, he
got, he came back home.
We tried to be a family.
But he chose the street life
over his family because that was
what he knew.
So he went back to that and my
mom said that wasn't acceptable.
So, he just decided to go off
and do whatever, whatever he was
doing.
Can we pause right there?
How powerful was that for you to
witness mom saying not in my
house.
It was very powerful in a show.
Me her true strength.
As a woman and what she desired.
A lot of times, even in this
generation, I see it a lot with
women settle for less than they
deserve, just to say their love
or just to save their inner
relationships.
So being able to my mom to be
that first person who showed me.
What it looks like to choose you
or what their strength is like.
Um, even though it meant that
she was going to have to
continue to sack make sacrifices
as a single mom, she still chose
herself as opposed to the
American dream of, oh, well I
have a husband or I have a man
in this household.
She did what was best for her.
And I truly value that.
Yep.
And that is, The perfect
reminder.
We all were dealt cards.
Um, some people's cars are
shinier.
Some people's cars are, more
dull.
Ripped up torn apart, missing
pieces.
I ain't got the full deck.
It is a reminder.
When we think back on all of our
trials and tribulations, there
are positive moments.
There are influential moments.
So we have got to remember,
there were moments that were so
defining in our life.
We may not have known it then,
but let those parts in it.
They mean something now.
Definitely.
And embrace all of your story.
That's what I definitely
encourage everybody to do.
I know the, the bad times and
the hard times, and when you
were taken advantage of, and I
was those different things, they
hurt.
However, being able to fully
embrace how that those
experiences shifted, who you are
or effected the way that you
showed up today or show up
today.
Definitely is in full scope of
who you are as a human being.
Right.
Because if I never experienced
daddy issues, I may not have
been, I'm an overachiever.
I may not have been successful.
Right.
I may have just settled for the
bare minimum in life.
However, Unfortunately, I was
the little girl who grew up
achieving my way out of trauma
to make sure that my dad came
around because I felt like every
time my dad came around, I was
achieving something.
So I, and my kid brain put daddy
shows up when I do good things.
And so that's what I desired in
life at that time, which led me
to striving for success in every
area of my life.
So, yeah, just kind of looking
at what you gained from those
particular experiences, as
opposed to kind of running away
from those are kind of, you
know, Brushing those out for
ignoring them.
SIS.
You just said achieving your way
out of trauma.
Y'all if y'all didn't feel that
that's still like resonating in
my bones right now.
We are made up of so many parts
of us.
Y'all ever say, man, I hate that
part of me.
Or man that part always gets in
the way, or I love that part of
me.
We are made up of many parts.
And I like to think of them as
like little slit personalities,
or even that little girl inside
of you that still probably
needing to heal, wanting to be
heard.
But if we think about all the
parts and it's something,
obviously something therapeutic
I'm introducing to y'all.
It's called parts work.
Our personality, our identity is
made up of all these parts.
And you said achieving your way
out of trauma.
Here's the thought.
Who would have thought that
achieving could have an adverse
reaction or an adverse effect
who would have thought it
wouldn't have been probably a
positive thing.
So when we look at the parts
that make up our body, There are
the parts that we want to shine.
Like, look at me, look at me.
And they're the parts that we
wish we didn't have
procrastination perfectionism.
And sometimes yes, eating over
achieving can be an unwanted
part based on how it's being
activated in real life.
Because we can overachieve our
butts to burn out to.
Okay.
And so I invite you all quit
pushing those parts down, let
those parts come up in your body
because they need attention.
The more you push them down, the
more we're likely to sabotage
when we're doing well.
When we're in healthy
relationships, it's going to
come out.
That's how to be agreed.
And so when I just look at your
t-shirt and your brand, Hey
girl, heel, um, it speaks to
that.
Hey girl, comma, that comma is
to pause.
Just pause.
And remember heal.
It has an ING for many of us,
99.9% of us.
There is no EDF at the end.
Ever we can desensitize and we
can recover from experiences,
but believe me, we are always in
constantly healing.
You identified yourself as a
first-generation curse breaker.
Educate us.
Yes.
So God gave me this role.
It's very heavy.
However, I'm the first person in
my family who is embarking on
this healing journey.
And one of the things that I've
found a lot of frustration in,
as I started, I've been in
therapy for six years
consistently.
I run, Hey girl hill.
I'm a mindset coach.
However, one of the things that
I struggled with it, I feel like
a lot of black and brown
families, or are first
generational curse breakers
struggle with, is your family
not coming along with you?
And as a first generational
curse breaker, you are paving
the way you are blazing this new
trail, because your desire is to
break these curses and these
toxic cycles off of your family.
So just to be completely honest,
the two that I.
Wholeheartedly stand behind
that.
I'm breaking off my family, a
single motherhood in poverty.
And so being able to identify
what those things are, my
actions and my habits and my
values and who I am.
I make sure that they align with
the curses that I'm trying to
break.
So I can't say that I'm out here
trying to break poverty, but I
have bad money management skills
or I'm throwing my money away at
everything.
Being the first generation of
Curtis broker, is that person in
their family.
Who's the first person to say,
yes, this has to stop.
Or yes, I will no longer, embark
on this and I want to be able to
help my family break this thing
off of our family, whether it's
intergenerational trauma,
whether it's family trauma,
whatever those things are.
Those are the things that you
say yes to sometimes saying,
yes, it's scary, but you're
committed to making sure that
you heal yourself first to make
sure that you're in a position
to.
Break those things off of your
family.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a powerful reflection
question for you all.
What curse will you commit to
breaking?
What will you say yes to
stopping?
And perhaps it starts with doing
less when you guys relate to
something like.
Propelling yourself out of
poverty or even shipping a
poverty mindset.
Reframing a thought that keeps
you in a spiral.
So what curse will you commit to
breaking?
And, transparency mine.
I committed to a long time ago.
I was stopped the curse of
sexual abuse in my family.
And poverty.
Yes.
Yes.
And so reflect on that question
and see what comes up for you.
That's a great conversation to
have, with your girlfriends or
people who also desire to heal.
You all have heard me talk about
it time after time.
And you're going to hear this
come up.
People in your lives can tribute
to your healing or lack there of
journey.
We have got to stop giving
people permission on how we heal
and when we heal.
Would you agree with that?
At totally agree.
Healing is definitely up to you
and you don't need external
validation to heal.
Right?
Your journey is your journey,
whether somebody judges you for,
whether somebody has something
to say about it, definitely
continue to move forward because
it is for.
You and no one could tell you
how to heal when to heal, where
to heal what's best for you
because you are the only person
who knows you wholeheartedly.
You're the only one who knows
what you struggle with behind
closed doors, right?
The things that you don't talk
about, the things that you, um,
you know, sweep under the rug or
that what happens in this house
stays in this house
conversations that you've had.
Right.
You're the only person who knows
that.
And so definitely always choose
you.
And what's best for you.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
So healing seems so big.
It's unattainable.
You know, we got, uh, things
happening to black and brown
people every day.
What's the point.
Those are some of the things I
hear people ask me.
How did you start your healing
journey?
Okay.
It starts with a story.
We like stories.
Yes.
I'm a storyteller.
All the time.
As far as the healing journey,
just to backtrack a little bit,
most of the time throughout my
life, I said to achieving my way
out of trauma.
That was more SCO daddy issues
that I had.
I personally felt more so
disappointment and unworthy and
unloved because my dad not only
live in the same city with me,
but I had a sister who was two
years older than me.
And he was very, very active in
her life.
We didn't have the same mom
though, so I don't want.
What you to think that, however,
I feel like I wasn't good enough
because you devote this time to
my other sister, but you don't
spend time with me.
It wasn't until I was 25 years
old, where I initiated the
conversation with my dad to meet
up and have dinner where he told
me that he didn't, he wasn't
around because he knew that my
mom would take good care of me.
And so it was at that point that
I realized that sometimes being
superwoman sometimes serves as a
curse, right.
Being a strong, independent
black woman, although we've done
great things to move our lives
forward and achieve.
A lot of things.
Sometimes people don't see it
those same way that we see and
they take it as, oh, she got it.
Oh, she can handle it.
Which for me resulted in me not
having my dad in my life because
my mom, had all of her stuff
together.
And so all the while we're
tired, Tired burnt out, beat
down, mentally exhausted,
overwhelmed, whatever
overextended, whatever word you
want to put there that you
resonate with right now.
It's not good.
It's not for you.
I developed a lot of daddy
issues, the unworthiness, all
the different things.
My senior year in high school,
my little brother, he passed
away from pneumonia.
I went to grief counseling for.
I would like.
Two months.
The lady was not a brown, a
black lady.
So I really didn't resonate with
the grief counseling that I was
getting.
And so I told my mom, mom, I
really don't want to do this
anymore.
So my mom supports everything
that I do.
So she was like, you know what?
You don't have to go.
However, I wish I would have
stayed in there longer or found
somebody else.
Because I went to college, the
year after.
And I hadn't healed from losing
my brother, unexpectedly.
And so I went to college.
I was drinking.
I was voted most likely to see
the high school.
I was the top 1% in high school.
However, I went to college, I
had a 2.8 GPA.
I was on the grey goose.
Had a fight.
Got kicked out of college
because it was on video at the
dorm.
And I went back to the same
place that I said I'd never
wanted to return.
I went back to my room and my
mom's house.
And I realized like, okay, how
did I do here?
And that's when I realized that,
okay.
How did most likely to succeed?
Come back and as he's doing
nothing right.
And I realized it was because of
the choices that I had made my,
me running from the thing that I
really needed, which was
healing.
And it's crazy that God led me
to create eight, an entire
movement or something that I ran
from for so long.
Going back home.
It was an eye opener for me.
Then it's 20 S.
2018.
I broke up my engagement about
five months before walking down
the aisle because I realized
there was still more parts of me
that I needed to heal.
Or I became one with someone I
realized there was still some
other daddy issues and things
that I needed to work on.
I made one of the most
courageous decisions of my life.
Which was saying, okay, this is
not for me at this time.
And deciding to take my child
and be a single mom.
That's what I did in that
moment.
I talked about it on social
media.
However, one of the main
responses that I got was from
women.
I'm happy for you, but I would
have never been able to do that.
For me, the psychological desire
that I have, like, I Bye.
The how the mind works.
And so just to hear women say,
black women say that they would
stay in something that no longer
serve them, or they would allow
someone to kind of just be a
place holder in their lives
while they figured out their
healing journey or what, or
them, or different things like
that.
I felt like it was kind of crazy
to settle into a situation.
If you know, that's not where
you're supposed to be.
Right.
If you're listening, there's no
shade at all.
If you are choosing to stay and
have somebody be a placeholder,
we know, it's, it's not just,
oh, I can leave.
There are some people who might
be in domestically violent
relationships.
Lack of resources or have not
had their healing reckoning yet.
We called that, you know, our
Shiro moment of you when you are
at your rock bottom, or just at
that pivotal moment, you're like
something has to change.
Yes.
Definitely.
And that's where I was with
that.
It was a lot of crying and
praying and rediscovering myself
and just, spending time healing.
Cause I was in therapy at that
time and I believe I was in it
for about a year, but as I was
going, in addition to that and
premarital counseling, there was
a lot of things within myself
that I was being able to see.
I felt like the blinders were
being taken off of me, in
regular therapy and, and
premarital counseling as well.
And I was like, I'm not.
He'll not healed enough, but I'm
not at a place where I can say
yes to being someone's wife.
There we go.
Wow.
That's powerful.
You have an amazing story.
And I know many of you all,
you're like, that's my story.
That's my story.
And when I think about how God.
Used your experiences as a
catalyst.
Here's the thing y'all will hear
me say again.
I don't believe people have to
go through horrible life
experiences to experience good
things.
I don't like that mindset.
Unfortunately, many of us go
through them and it's important
that we take what we need and
leave what we don't from it to
show up as our best version
today.
So I want you to be very clear
of that and take that, how you
want to, I don't believe people
have to broken into pieces to do
good to live.
Well, you feel me?
That's totally agreed, but we've
been conditioned to that,
especially.
I grew up in a church.
The struggle.
We've got a struggle to get to.
Good things.
Yeah.
I was asked the pastor, I said,
why do I gotta be broke down in
a no body to get to know God,
like don't God want to know a
healthy, strong person.
That's my daddy.
He.
The do good and look good and
see.
Good.
Because that laying on the
ground and all of that.
But that is how many church
folks have been conditioned.
So one of the things I love
doing is listening to people's
experiences and pulling a
literations out of it.
A quick way to give a snapshot.
When I think of heal, it allows
me to come up with an
alliteration, based on those
letters.
And what's you're describing for
the age is the half a hope, but
also to get help, we are not
meant to do this alone.
I know we got independent
sisters y'all and bill, all
these businesses raised the kids
and all the other things.
Hope and help.
We are not meant to do it alone.
I believe when we can maintain
hope, purpose and meaning.
We can go get anything and I
say, get through it because
that, it means.
It's going to be perfect.
But we can get through it and
come out.
Well.
And another book I'm a throw at
you all is by Victor Franco.
You know, old school do from
back in the day, he has a book
called man's search for meaning,
and he talks about it.
He's watching his family during
the Holocaust get murdered and
all of these things.
And somebody said, how did you.
Keep your focus to stay alive.
And he said, hope purpose and
meaning.
Okay.
And so for the E embrace.
Challenges.
And explore.
So embrace and explore.
It is so important that we
embrace our challenges because,
again, if we push them down,
it's going to be very hard to
find a starting point to change.
And it's an exploration.
You're a traveler, I'm a
traveler.
I couldn't possibly go and fear
every time I get on a plane and
go overseas, I embrace the
expiration.
A advocate and Alliance.
When you can learn the art of
self-advocacy finding the words,
finding what you need to speak
up for yourself, telling people
I'm not about that life.
No more.
You will not treat or talk to me
like the old version of me, SIS
is healing.
Then that Alliance, going back
to that help build your
Alliance, of people who want to
see you win and heal.
It takes a team.
L learn and listen, learn from
the wisdom.
I recently had someone very
special to me say, you know,
Dominic Sometime you forget to
apply the wisdom.
I was hurt.
Because my Sicily, but shout AI
all up in me.
And I clapped back and I was
like, you know, and I,
afterwards I was like, okay, I
see what you mean.
So learn to apply the wisdom.
As this is saying to us.
She's experienced it.
She's created a movement to
guide you, to nurture you on
your journey.
And then as you're learning from
the wisdom, listen to learn.
An acronym and I'm done with my
literations is wait, why am I
talking?
We have got to learn to listen
and listen to Morne everything.
And about always saying
something healing doesn't always
require words.
So I know that was a mouthful,
but y'all know, I love my
literations to succinct
information.
Is there anything you would add
or was that often mark on any of
the things based on what you've
shared?
Oh, no, you were definitely spot
on with everything.
And I'm grateful for this
conversation.
One thing that.
I really, I specialize in.
Is helping women turn their
setbacks into major comebacks.
So I don't know why I felt led
to speak to the person who is
ready to give up or the person
who is seeing a current
challenge as a dead end.
I want to encourage you to
continue to keep pushing and to
keep going, to break through
that barrier any way that you
can so that you can get around
to the other side.
There is hope.
Inhaling.
I know it hurts, right?
Because we are ripping these
band-aids off and we are
exposing ourselves to parts of
us that we've suppressed for so
long, but I encourage you to
stay in it.
I encourage you to be consistent
with it.
I encourage you to choose
yourself, right?
Because the life on the other
side of healing will blow your
mind.
Right?
Because there are so many things
that, you know, that you desire.
However you're held back at this
time by maybe limiting beliefs,
or maybe what somebody said
about you, or maybe the labels
that were placed on you, but I
encourage you to keep going and
do what it is that you need to
do there.
You can get past this.
There are people right there.
Spice persisters there's Hey
girl.
He'll there are communities of
women who are waiting to welcome
you with open arms.
You just have to commit and say
yes to.
I mean with us along this
journey.
I am rooting for you.
And I love you guys.
So you already started, identify
some tangible things that they
can, start working on to, unpack
their setbacks and preparation
for their comeback.
You talked about consistency.
What are some other tangible.
Small things, small things they
can do to make that
transformation.
Put it in motion.
Yes.
So I.
Like live by journaling.
We have a hago.
However, that's where I started.
My healing journey was just
putting my thoughts on paper,
write every morning, every
night, writing out how I truly
feel, not the way that I try to
show up for social media, not
the way that I tell my family
I'm fine, air quotes, but how do
I truly feel today?
Right.
What does my body feel like?
It allowed me to sit with my
emotions, but also to put words
to my emotions, right?
I'm feeling overwhelmed.
My, when I'm feeling
overwhelmed, my body feels like,
you know, this bubbly sensation
and I'm ready to go back to
sleep, but I have
responsibilities, whatever it is
that you're building start
there, right with the
self-reflection putting it on
paper.
Also asking yourself those
questions.
Dominique gave you some
questions to ask yourself,
Throughout this episode as well,
asking yourself the tough
questions.
What is it?
What does it look like to be the
first generational curse burger?
What curses am I breaking in my
family?
Being able to honestly answer
those.
I know many times we have a
tendency to be somewhat
defensive with people in, in our
personal lives or in person, but
paper allows you to be real
right to elaborate.
To tell exactly how you truly
feel that and what it looks like
for you, and then getting around
communities and environments
that encourage healing.
That encouraged you to become a
better version or more aligned.
Version of yourself.
So the third thing I would say
is focused on being present.
I know one of the things that
black women struggle with is
being present.
We're good at getting the
degrees.
We're good at, reading the
self-help books and listening to
the Sierra.
Jake's Robert sermon, all of
these things that we do, like.
And.
But I challenge you to be
present with yourself.
One of the things that my
clients struggle with a lot is
being present with themselves
and their kids.
These are things that God
blessed you with and just being
able to get out of your head so
that you can.
Embrace and have a great time
and actually just be fully
present with the things around
you and the people around you as
well.
Also last thing.
That.
Your work is not attached to
your worth.
Okay.
The things that you do.
Those are just the things that
you do, you are worried without
having to do anything you are
worthy for simply existing and
being who you are right now,
listening to this podcast, no
matter what your hair looked
like, your face is not beat on
your clothes.
You got on.
You are worthy.
Exactly the way that you are and
i want you to continue to
remember that and tap into that
you don't have to do achieve
another degree you don't have to
get another certification you
don't have to attend another
program to be worthy.
You're already worthy the way
that you are now the way that
god created you Yeah.
What do you Desire for women to
see when they look At Their
reflection in the mirror I
desire for women to see.
Loaf.
A lot of us didn't experience
the love that we desired i'm
gonna put we desired at the end
of the growing up a lot of us
didn't experience the love that
we give In relationships right a
lot of us are are superwomen,
right we're catering to the
needs of other people but when
we need somebody nobody is
available right i challenge you
to see love within yourself and
happiness within yourself
without anything else attached
to Right and that requires you
to engage and embark on a self
love journey of what does it
look like to love myself Right.
Many of us could have pouring
out love to other people but we
suck at giving love to ourselves
and so this may be the season
where you embark on your self
love journey what i call soul
care Aaron for your mind your
will and your emotions in this
specific season and also knowing
what is it that makes you happy
okay that's another question
that we can add to the list.
what is it that make you happy
Okay many of us have been
dancing to the beat of everyone
else's drums where people may
have been people pleasers
throughout our lives or super
women or whatever it is But what
is it that makes me happy Yeah,
right what makes me smile right
outside of the dropping kids off
at the activities or going to
work or scrolling on social
media what is it that truly
makes me happy and get back into
it right maybe for you for me
it's volleyball maybe for you
it's going to a painting class
or art exhibit or going to, i
fly to risk your life or
whatever it is Make sure that
you find time to do those things
that actually make you happy and
here's the thing i think that
that's going to be the journey
many women don't even know they
have made so many necessary and
so many unnecessary sacrifices
that they've kind of lost their
sense of identity so i love the
soul care i love that and so
thank you thank you thank you so
much As we get ready to wrap up
please share with our audience
where they can find you on the
socials and in the world on
socials i am on all social media
platforms as Talia talks so t h
a u y a t a l k s and we're on
all platforms with hey girl hill
so hey girl Hill and my website
is the way jackson I come, as i
said i'm a mindset coach and i
help women turn their set backs
into major comebacks and we have
a frequency.
so if you are wondering what
habit is holding up your healing
we have a free quiz where you
can go and get more information
on how to shift your habits
around a little bit so that you
can embark on this healing
journey and make it as fruitful
and transformative as possible
and that link is b i t dot l y
slash h g h We is so hagar hill
but it's H G H.
Please.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for listening
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