NHOMAM - Viktor Went To WinCo Looking Like A Possessed Black-Metal Drag Queen - 08/17/2026

The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem begins by accidentally turning into the Idaho Falls Bureau of Sprinkler Crimes, because apparently we have reached the point in civilization where two radio hosts must personally investigate whether grass is receiving the precise amount of water necessary to survive without allowing a single molecule to escape onto the sidewalk. The discussion starts innocently enough with drought conditions, Lake Powell and Lake Mead shrinking, and concerns about water conservation, but very quickly becomes a surveillance operation against lawn irrigation systems. One host describes walking through the community park during his lunch break and deliberately allowing a sprinkler to blast him directly in the body because it is approximately 900 degrees outside, only to return to the studio absolutely drenched and dripping onto the furniture like a man who just escaped from a car wash. The sprinkler is eventually elevated to public enemy status after they discuss one that used to spray directly into his apartment whenever his windows were open. His solution was not to contact management, adjust the sprinkler, or perform a reasonable maintenance procedure. He simply launched the sprinkler into the distance and apparently solved the problem through backyard ballistic engineering. 

From there, the lawn itself is put on trial. The hosts propose eliminating grass entirely and replacing it with artificial turf, gravel, desert plants, or potentially an entire sagebrush ecosystem because apparently maintaining a lawn has become an unacceptable luxury in the great Idaho water apocalypse. This somehow mutates into a conversation about AI data centers consuming downtown Idaho Falls, with the completely deranged logic being that if everybody gets rid of their lawns, the city will have enough water to operate the enormous hypothetical AI data center that will apparently eat downtown whole. Then the Rose Bowl gets dragged into the conversation, because one host has decided the historic Pasadena venue is terrible and should simply be demolished and replaced with—what else?—an AI data center. The proposed replacement plan includes surrounding the futuristic data center with Flock cameras so anyone who becomes emotionally devastated by the destruction of a historic stadium and attempts to spray-paint the building will immediately be detected. This episode has now traveled from lawn sprinklers to drought policy to artificial grass to artificial intelligence to stadium demolition to facial recognition-adjacent surveillance technology without ever once applying the brakes. 

Then comes the Great Flock Camera Investigation, an extended investigative journalism segment conducted almost entirely through zooming around a map and pointing at tiny dots. The hosts discover that Flock cameras are apparently scattered around Idaho Falls, particularly near intersections and roundabouts, and begin cataloguing their locations with the intensity of two men who have just discovered a conspiracy hidden beneath the municipal road system. They discuss Flock's use by law enforcement, including reports of inappropriate use and alleged stalking behavior, before turning the entire thing into a geographical scavenger hunt. Roundabouts become especially suspicious. One location has three cameras pointing in different directions, another has multiple cameras near a major intersection, and one neighborhood location prompts the horrifying realization that the Lowe's parking lot may, in fact, be watching you. Meanwhile, the Costco intersection—despite being described as a nightmare of people cutting each other off—apparently lacks the same camera coverage, which leads to the completely rational conclusion that someone needs to explain why the surveillance state is apparently obsessed with certain roundabouts while leaving other traffic disasters untouched. 

The Flock discussion eventually becomes so ridiculously long that the hosts themselves acknowledge that their first commercial break has basically turned into two people staring at a map of surveillance cameras. They joke about blocking cameras with a pool skimmer, reenacting a fake shanking at a roundabout, and examining which parts of town have the most surveillance. It is essentially Traffic School: Surveillance Edition, except the instructors are two radio hosts who may or may not be qualified to operate Google Maps. The entire segment manages to combine Idaho traffic, police technology, roundabouts, neighborhood geography, crime prevention, and an alarming amount of geographic confusion into one sprawling municipal-security fever dream. 

After that, the episode takes a hard left directly into the Viktor Wilt Makeup Incident, which may be one of the most spectacularly unnecessary public appearances ever documented by a radio personality. Following a black-light party, Viktor ends up with his face covered in makeup, including his tattoos being painted, his face getting progressively more caked in makeup, and eventually looking sufficiently horrifying that he decides the only reasonable next step is to go to WinCo looking like a deranged black-metal outlaw and greet random shoppers with variations of “Howdy, mister.” The plan is so bizarre that some people laugh, some people apparently flee, and some children look genuinely disturbed by this mysterious makeup-covered man wandering through the grocery store carrying frozen lasagna, ice cream, and salad. The visual apparently becomes even more horrifying when combined with a Whitechapel shirt, leading to the mental image of a small child entering the grocery store for dinner and encountering what appears to be a discount black-metal frontman whispering greetings between the frozen foods. 

Unfortunately, Viktor's makeup adventure does not end when he gets home. He discovers that the eyeliner has survived his initial attempt at removing it, and then proceeds to wage chemical warfare against his own eyeballs by repeatedly attacking the remaining makeup with soap, water, towels, and sheer masculine confidence. Nothing works. The eyeliner simply refuses to die. Eventually he discovers that oil-based makeup remover is required, while his eyes and surrounding skin become increasingly irritated from his attempts to scrub himself back into a normal human being. The next morning, Becca discovers that Viktor apparently went to sleep and woke up still looking like someone had hired a black-metal musician to perform at a funeral. The episode then veers into skincare, retinol, facial toner, and the possibility that some male radio personalities are already wearing enough products to accidentally become beauty influencers. 

And then, because apparently there was still room for something more horrifying, Maryland's Rabid Beaver Crisis arrives. The hosts discover reports of rabid beavers attacking people, including a child at a summer camp, and immediately become obsessed with the concept of a beaver transforming from a normally shy woodland creature into a tiny, furious, disease-ridden chainsaw with teeth. They investigate rabies, discuss the seriousness of beaver bites, imagine a rabid beaver attacking someone in a canoe, and repeatedly marvel at the fact that these animals are apparently capable of causing serious injuries. The conversation escalates into the possibility of befriending a wild beaver as a replacement pet for Lou Brutus, naming it “Wild Willie,” carrying it around, taking photographs with it, and eventually being bitten before appearing on the radio while dying of rabies. At this point the show has completely abandoned reality and entered a universe where rabid beavers are radio co-hosts. 

The Lou Brutus portion then produces another completely unhinged concept: put wild animals into the studio with radio DJs who use fake “radio voices” and see how long they can maintain their ridiculous broadcaster personas before an actual alligator, or some other horrifying creature, forces them to abandon the voice and scream for help like normal human beings. The hosts even demonstrate what this might sound like, imagining a DJ welcoming listeners in an exaggerated voice before suddenly discovering that an alligator has entered the studio and immediately reverting to his natural speaking voice. It is perhaps the only logical conclusion to an episode that began with water conservation and somehow arrived at wildlife-based voice authenticity testing. 

Finally, the show reaches The World's Dumbest Driving Argument, beginning with the timeless question: have you ever gotten into an argument while driving? The answer leads to the legendary family dispute over whether Justin Bieber's name is actually “Justin Beaver,” with one host remembering arguing with his mother about it while the singer was becoming famous. Naturally, this becomes a segue into distracted driving, road rage, and a real story about a person who drove a vehicle off a cliff while arguing with a partner on the phone in Fresno County. The hosts imagine the argument becoming progressively more absurd before the driver essentially decides to settle the disagreement by launching the entire automobile off a cliff. They ultimately acknowledge that arguing while driving can turn into aggressive driving, distracted driving, and potentially catastrophic consequences. 

The episode closes by attempting to establish some degree of adult maturity around road rage, with the hosts admitting they are less likely to randomly flip people off these days and discussing the revolutionary technique of giving someone a thumbs down instead. Somehow, they determine that this may actually be more psychologically devastating than the middle finger. They also tell a story about someone following another driver to their destination just to confront them, which becomes a warning that you never know what kind of person you're following or provoking on the road. And naturally, the entire lesson is immediately contaminated by the image of Viktor—still apparently capable of wearing horrifying makeup—pulling up to someone and demanding, “What do you want, mister?” Thus concludes another perfectly normal episode of the Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem: drought, sprinkler crimes, artificial lawns, AI data centers, the demolition of the Rose Bowl, Flock surveillance cameras, roundabout investigations, WinCo makeup horror, rabid beavers, Lou Brutus, wild animals attacking radio DJs, Justin Beaver, distracted driving, cliff jumping, and Idaho road rage. A completely reasonable noon hour.

What is The Viktor Wilt Show?

The Viktor Wilt Show daily recap! If you miss the show weekdays from 6A-10A MST, you've come to the right place.

Speaker 1: The noon hour of Madness M AM The Podcast.

Speaker 2: You know, I think we're becoming a fairly serious program, Peaches. Because we talk about the issues. You know, facing the community. I talked earlier on my show about the drought, uh, Lake Powell and Lake Mead shrinking and such. And you brought to my attention, we might have some water wastage going on around here.

Speaker 3: Oh, sometimes during my lunch break, I'll go to the community park and I'll uh walk around their little path there to get my steps in. Yeah. And the sprinklers, they'll mostly hit the grass. But sometimes they'll go right there over the sidewalk. And I like I just mentioned off the air, like uh, I I walk through it like Goldberg. You know, like they used to walk through the fireworks. Like, how is he doing that?

Yes. I would walk through, I'll walk through getting soaked, and it feels good because it's so hot out, but then I come back to do the Z103 show in the afternoon. I was come back to do both shows, and sure enough, I'm just dripping dripping wet in the studio. But Maddie at the front desk would be like, what happened? And I just you know I got drenched by the sprinkler.

Speaker 2: Oh, well, it's it's nice on a hot day, I guess. Sure. But yeah, we need to ensure that sprinklers are being pointed properly across east each city in East Idaho. Like the ones in my house, I think they're doing pretty good, but I might need to do a perimeter check. I might be wasting water.

Speaker 3: You know how uh the Woody show started cartnarks and that became a huge thing. Sprinkler Nars? Sprinkler watch. What if you started that whole thing and we started yelling at the people who are wasting water? I post uh TikTok videos. Like I just posted one in the Life in Idaho Falls Facebook group.

Speaker 2: Of a sprinkler spraying a sign.

Speaker 3: The back of it now, it was spraying the grass. Again, for the s for the for like half the cycle, it sprays the grass. But then it starts to hit the back of the sign, it goes on the sidewalk, the sidewalks drenched. You need to aim for the grass and the grass only.

Speaker 2: Sounds like uh adjustments are needed.

Speaker 3: The asphalt does not need water.

Speaker 2: No, no, and we've got problems, people. We got water issues.

Speaker 3: I did tell you about like how there used to be a sprinkler they would set up next to my apartment building that if I left that if I left my windows open during the summertime, it would spray the inside of my place.

Yes. So then this was a few years ago. I took it and I chucked it, and I just threw it all the way across. And luckily it never happened again.

Speaker 2: Well, my solution to this problem is we need to get rid of lawns. Because lawns are useless.

Speaker 3: I hate to say how California is superior in this field, but uh they've had artificial turfs for a while now. Yeah. Most rich people, most of the uh, you know, the cle the clean people in California have the money. Get the artificial turf.

Speaker 2: Yeah, the only time you're gonna see grass in Phoenix is artificial turf. And then they tend to just have, you know, the natural occurring plants, the cacti and such, and desert dwelling plants. Yeah, turn your yard into a sagebrush farm.

Speaker 3: One of the guys I play basketball with, uh, he said it takes him about two hours to get his entire lawn mode. That sounds about right. And I was thinking to Mike, well, you could change all that with artificial turf. Mm-hmm. Or gravel.

Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's ugly and I'm sure it reflects heat and absorbs heat and sucks.

Speaker 3: This is going against our uh our previous statement about bringing in AI data centers to replace the old buildings.

Speaker 2: Well, then we'd have the extra water for them to, you know, be running. Yeah, we gotta figure out how to run the downtown Idaho Falls data center that's gonna eat up all of downtown. Everyone gets rid of their lawns. Problem solved.

Speaker 3: As I was pre-recording the afternoon show, I was talking about how terrible the Rose Bowl is, the venue in Pasadena. Because there was a Noah Khan show that happened there, and I guess just like the whole uh dreadful R-word that is Rockzilla, um, there was a lawn line of people just waiting to get in. And the place, the venue sucks.

The Rose Bowl is one of the worst venues out there. Okay. And I was saying how like it's a quote legacy venue, still tear it down, you know, replace it with the newer venue, or better yet, replace it with an AI data center.

Speaker 2: Even better. And surround it with flock cameras. So that you know, people who are mad that the you know old uh, you know, historic structure is gone. If they try to spray paint it or something, they get busted by the flock cameras.

Speaker 3: Now, those solar panels on top of stop signs, those are just there to help highlight the stop sign, right? Because like they put the red lights around the stop sign.

I believe so. I guess people don't see that stop sign enough to where they need to have a flashing yellow. What's what shapes do the stop sign? Octagon. Yeah. Uh they need to have that flashing red uh pattern around the sign.

Speaker 2: I do believe that that's what those are for is solar powering um the lights. No, but if there's a camera attached to it.

Speaker 3: They do look like they could be a flock camera.

Speaker 2: Well, have you looked at that website, dflock.org.

Speaker 3: No, I don't pay. I don't care about these flock cameras. I'm not passionate about it.

Speaker 2: I was just curious because I saw the link pop up, dflock.org. I talked with Lieutenant Crane about it. But it supposedly shows you where all of the flock cameras are in your town. You just launch the map. You can zoom in and see exactly where they are. Holy cow, man. The eastern part of our country loves flock cameras. Yeah.

Speaker 3: Well, there's also so many like people there, especially in the New England area. And it's such a tight squeeze that I'm sure it's not that many.

Speaker 2: Big blue dot in the middle here. Where are we? That's their headquarters. It's gotta be. That's move. That's where Mr. Flock lives. I can't see the the name of the towns here, but uh, where is it? They've this place is a nightmare. Here no, no, here's I mean, we got a decent amount of them here, but I checked my route to and from work. Which is funny. They don't even see me.

Speaker 3: We don't really get things till way later on. Like, I'm shocked Waymo hasn't made its way over here yet. Yeah. I would love to hear those complaints in the Life in Idaho Falls Facebook group about this Waymo took me uh in a circle around the roundabout six times in a row.

Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, most of them, let's see, tend to be in areas where like you're coming on and off of a freeway. Some businesses have them installed at their businesses, and this is where uh flock had to start recently changing some of their policies because law enforcement was using the flock cameras inappropriately. Like, oh, I see that this hotel has some flock cameras. I guess I better watch the pool cameras for like four hours. You know, we're just getting uh keep an eye on these ladies in their bikinis and make sure they're safe. Oh using them to stock their girlfriends and things. So a lot of cops got fired.

Speaker 3: Working up with another guy at the pool.

Speaker 2: But dude, the funniest one I found was in Idaho Falls. All right, you know the roundabout on South Boulevard? One of the things by common sense. Oh, yeah. Okay, it's like kind of a small roundabout.

Speaker 3: Oh, is that the that's the tiny one? Tiny tiny one, right?

Speaker 2: Yeah, in in the like older part of town by

Speaker 3: the animal oasis and that built those buildings? Maybe. There's a really tiny one. Uh I go to Brian's neighborhood, like I mentioned, and I'll come back and I'll use that roundabout, and I see the tire skid marks across the middle circle.

Speaker 2: Uh okay, no, I know what you're talking about. Now, this one's in old, like old town in the lettered streets. Oh, lettered and numbered streets.

Speaker 3: Oh, roundabouts. The two gas pumps outside that yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: Yeah, so gameopolis and all of that. Yeah, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2: Right there at that roundabout, they have three flock cameras pointed all different directions.

Speaker 3: I mean, that's a ghetto part of Idaho Falls. That's also, you know, a very dangerous part right there.

Speaker 2: It's a roundabout. Scary.

Speaker 3: We should we should go reenact like a shanking or something there. Oh, geez. I would have both of us go in the middle to start doing doing whatever.

Speaker 2: But yeah, most of them, like I said, seem to be in locations you would guess at like major intersections, which okay. Here's another one where we got three. Where's this? This is by Okay, this is Yellowstone. Or I'm sorry, Hit Road and 17th by like Red Robin. So they're, you know, it's a major intersection.

Speaker 3: Hit road, I've gotten hit in the K-Bear truck there. Uh, I think I know I've known a few people get hit on Hit Road.

Speaker 2: So I could understand them, you know, wanting to watch these major intersections because not everybody has a uh a dash cam, and I'm sure there have been many arguments over you know who is responsible for an accident. Wow, what's going on at this intersection?

Speaker 3: I love how this first break is just so long, and we're just looking at a camera feed or looking at a map of all the different flock cameras.

Speaker 2: I know. I well, I'm curious. Like Speedy Mart looks like near Hillcrest. You know where Hillcrest is on uh Sunnyside? Right. If you go a few blocks up past that, you'll get to the uh intersection there where Speedy Mart is. They got four of them there pointing every direction. What's going that that's like bridge people land, or at least uh in the direction of it? That's the road that goes up into the hills.

Speaker 3: You should go out there with a pool skimmer like that Florida guy and just block them. Yeah, I don't know. Listen to the Victor Wilt show on a sign that it blocks the camera.

Speaker 2: What's this one? They sh they must have a lot of problems at roundabouts because the majority of them are at roundabouts.

Speaker 3: What about the one I caught by Costco?

Speaker 2: Uh let's find out. Let me zoom out here.

Speaker 3: That's the one where I literally just saw someone cut off another person. They went into the wrong lane, and yeah, it was awful.

Speaker 2: Okay, so that's Lincoln Road. Right? Am I right, Peaches? Lincoln and Hit.

Speaker 3: You know it more than I do. I'm terrible at street names.

Speaker 2: I do not believe that no, it does not look like they have there's no flock cameras right there. All right.

Speaker 3: At the most horrible place roundabout in town.

Speaker 2: Let's put four in the rich person part, the rich person, the rich people part of town. And one, you know, in old town, or three of them in old town. Right, right. But nothing at the Costco intersection, which is one of the busiest intersections for randomly.

Speaker 3: Bring it up on bringing up this Friday on traffic school.

Speaker 2: Yeah, if you go up further to Ammon Road near uh Lincoln High School, they do have a couple of them there. But uh they do seem to be centered about around roundabouts, and then what's now this is a weird one.

This is in a neighborhood. Okay. Trying to figure out okay, happy Chinese Express, Taco Bell, Starbucks. Is that on 17th? Yeah. What's in front of uh Starbucks? Is it uh Lowe's? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think so. The Lowe's parking lot is watching you.

Speaker 3: I mean, there's a lot of construction there right now. Yeah and uh a lot of people going in and out of those parking lots.

Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't I don't know about uh the old Home Depot though. Yeah.

Speaker 3: Well, Lowe's is where the the the ghetto people go.

Speaker 2: What are you saying about me, Peach? I like to shop at Lowe's, they've done a great job.

Speaker 3: The lowest of the Lowe's go to Lowe's, hence Victor Wilt, who plays the Arthur Morgan game on the inside. You ever see that guy with all that stupid makeup on his face going, howdy, mister?

Speaker 2: All right, we'll talk about that next break for those who missed the morning show. This is the noon hour of madness and mayhem. I caused a little bit of madness and mayhem on Saturday night, Peaches.

It was loads of fun. And you know, this time my videos, all right. I didn't even post video, I just posted photos, but no negative reactions. Nobody called me a pig. Like the video of me holding a hose and uh spraying it into a pool.

Speaker 3: You know what's funny is you posted a picture of all of us at uh at a certain bar playing trivia. Yes, and there was one old lady that commented saying, Why does she feel the need to give the middle finger or something like that?

Speaker 2: Becca just does that in every photo. Every photo, she's like we took a picture with my friend Sammy last night. Uh-huh. Same thing. Flipping the bird. But so the lady got mad about flipping the bird.

Right. And I wake up to get ready for work. It's 5 a.m. And all this ruckus had happened in the middle of the night.

Becca went and scoured up like four or five other pictures of herself flipping the bird and just kept responding them to that lady. Yeah. So I just deleted the whole comment.

Speaker 3: I was wondering if she deleted her own comment.

Speaker 2: No, I deleted it. I'm like, I'm not dealing with this crap. It's early. Settle down.

Speaker 3: That's a bad honor move, huh?

Speaker 2: Bad honor. So I had to raise my honor over the weekend. And um, I was hanging out with Becca. Uh, her place of work was throwing a like black light party or something.

Speaker 3: I would hope you're hanging out with her. She's your wife.

Speaker 2: I was hanging out with her. My side piece for the weekend before they moved to another woman.

Speaker 2: So I was helping them set up and stuff, and they had like black light paint. So I like painted in my tattoo and was like, that's kind of cool. And then for some reason, Becca's like, let me put some makeup on you. And she starts putting makeup on my face and makes me look like Freak Shell. And I'm like, all right, this is funny. Uh, let's leave. So I made sure to go say bye to everybody, and that they saw me.

And that's what gave me kind of the idea. I knew we had to go to Winco. I'm like, when we go to Winco, I'm gonna look like this, and I'm going to say, Hey, mister. Hey, howdy partner. Good morning.

Speaker 3: But see, you should have recorded it. You should have. That'd been the greatest thing for our socials.

Speaker 2: I know.

Speaker 3: We need to have more things like that on social media.

Speaker 2: I know. Without a doubt. I wasn't thinking.

Speaker 3: Because I I'm really tired of the old boomer posts we make around here.

Speaker 2: So I'm walking, I went home, and then the girls, they put more makeup on me. They just caked it on. And so the picture you saw was the second round where I'd been completely covered and looked just hideous. You look like GG Allen.

Like Gigi Allen. That's right. It was Allen or Allen.

I think it's Al. Okay. But I walked around Winco. We just needed to get some things for dinner. And I just made sure to hey howdy, mister.

Ha partner. Hey, hello. How's it going?

it going tonight? That's Victor's Entertainment. And I'm just laughing. But dude, the people in Winco were laughing too. You know, there was only a few that just kind of scurried away, like what a weirdo.

Speaker 3: Yeah, you made them permanent Fred Meyer shoppers like Josh Classy.

Speaker 2: And then there were a couple of small children that did seem disturbed by my face.

Speaker 3: Well, you do look like one of those black metal artists just walking around Winco. Oh, yeah. And you're wearing a white chapel t-shirt. Yeah. You'd be kind of scary looking. Yeah, you I don't think eight-year-old me would have uh would have enjoyed seeing this random guy going, Howdy, Mr.

Speaker 2: Yeah, and we've got this basket with a frozen lasagna and a bunch of ice cream.

Speaker 3: Lasagna and ice cream. Some salad. You should have walked around with white. Pretty scary. Baby oil. Something crazy in your basket. Well, um, speaking of... just like pigs' feet or something like that. Chicken feet or whatever. Chicken feet.

Speaker 2: They sell those at wind feet. They do, I know. Um, one thing I found out though about makeup, which I don't ever remember this being a problem. I've put on makeup before.

You saw Victoria Rose last Halloween. So when we get back from Winco, I get the face wipes and I wipe everything off. And I'm not paying attention. I'm like, all right, it's clean. And so we had dinner. Later, Becca needed me to run to Winco to uh get her some items that were important items.

You had to get them right then. Um important. Yeah. Had to like urgent. I I know.

I know. So I I run over to Winco and I had forgot at that point that I might still look a little weird. But so most of the makeup was gone, but I had thick black eyeliner all around my eyes and mascara on, and I looked like, like I said on the morning show, a drag queen that just crawled out of bed.

Speaker 3: You might You might as well like put on a fake wig and call yourself Caleb Shomo.

Speaker 2: I should have, I should have grabbed my my wig and wore, but I didn't know, so I bought that stuff, and then I went home, and then the next morning I wake up and Becca's laughing at me because I have full-blown eyeliner and uh mascara on.

I'm like, okay, I'll go take a shower. Soap will take it off, right? So I get the soap and I like soak the crap out of my eyes, and then I rinse, and then I soak the crap out of my eyes again. I'm just pushing soap into my eyes. And like, all right, that must have done the job.

So get out of the shower. Hadn't changed a bit. All of the eyeliner was still there. So you mentioned baby oil a few minutes ago, and it reminded me that I had to find oil-based makeup remover to get this off of my face. But before I had done that, like I was trying to rub it off with a towel, and I'm just rubbering.

across it. Hurt in your eyes? And my eyes, yesterday and today, they hurt so bad. Potentially scratching your corneas. Uh, well, I had them closed, but the you know, skin around my eyes, I like it. So red and irritated. Red and irritated and sore, and it sucks.

Speaker 3: At least you're not like your friend, our friend uh Jeffrey Nauman. Yeah.

Speaker 2: I I'd rather have this than like two black eyes. Big black eyes. So I probably need to call that dude. Yeah, uh note to all you dudes. If you ever you know slap on that eyeliner, you gotta have an oil-based.

Speaker 3: Thankfully, I don't plan ever doing that. There was there's been a few times where I've put on like facial toner and like uh retinol cream and like daily moisturizing lotion, and then Justin from 105 the Hawk saw me with my face all glowy and everything. And they go, Do you have makeup on? And I go, No, it's just I'm taking care of my skin, Justin.

Speaker 2: Well, Peach, as you know, I love a good animal attacking people story. And you don't see beaver attacks very often, you know. Rabid beavers on the loose in Maryland. That's my favorite.

Yeah. They had to close a portion of Seneca Creek State Park after a beaver attacked a child during a summer camp. Uh, and they say the attacks not connected to two other rabid beaver attacks that have been reported. These are beavers with rabies, dude. Rabbi's can kill you so fast, it's so unpleasant. Yeah, she's just canoeing.

Speaker 3: I love how you say it can kill you so fast. It's so unpleasant.

Speaker 2: What? Well, I've read about it. Let's see. Let's Google quickly.

Speaker 3: I looked what a rabid beaver looks like. Look at this thing. It looks scary. Stupid teeth.

Speaker 2: How to treat rabies. So you need um immediate post-exposure, prophylaxis. Oh, okay.

Speaker 3: That's I didn't realize they were that big, or this guy must be like Danny DeVito size.

Speaker 2: Dude, big beavers can get pretty big. Uh basically it's they say wash it with soap and water, and then you need four rabies vaccinations given over 14 days. Look at look at the headline. Damn, it's rabbit beaver summer. Uh so I I guess they've got multiple rabid beavers just all over the place in Maryland. This girl was in a canoe and it just I guess jumped up in there and just started attacking the crap out of her.

Speaker 3: How serious is a beaver bite? Somebody asked on Google. AI overview. A beaver bite is very serious.

Speaker 2: Their lawn, powerful front teeth are built to chop down trees, trees, meaning a bite can cause deep puncture wounds.

Speaker 2: Oh, I bet it would hurt really bad because their teeth are flat.

Speaker 3: Could a beaver hurt a dog? Yes, a beaver can seriously hurt or even kill a dog. Is it bad to have a beaver in your yard? Yes, having a beaver in your yard can cause serious problems. Will a beaver chase you? No, a normal beaver will not chase you. Beavers are shy, nocturnal animals that prefer to flee, dive into the water, or hide when humans are nearby.

Speaker 2: Ah, but what about if they have rabies?

Speaker 3: That's when they build up the confidence and come after you.

Speaker 2: And guess what else is going on in Maryland, Peach? Is more rabies action? Uh children may have played with rabid bat at Riverwalk Park. There's a rabies everywhere over there. Lou lives in Maryland. We need to call Lou. What's going on in your state, bro?

Speaker 3: Can you befriend a beaver? Another question here. You can truly, you cannot truly befriend a wild beaver like a domestic pet because I'm trying to find Lou a replacement for Darla. Now, what if he had wild Willie the Beaver? I I like the sound of this. And he just started taking pictures of this wild beaver.

Speaker 2: And he's just packing it with him everywhere he goes.

Speaker 3: All of a sudden it bites him. He gets to the hospital. Look at this sign band-aid from the from Slipknot.

Speaker 2: I'm dying of rabies. But I'm still doing my show.

Speaker 3: Reminds me of the time back in 1974 when I saw Black Sabbath. Gave me a great idea. I'm sorry. We were talking about we're talking making jokes off the air about Lou Brutus with Hard Drive XL. And like That was on air. No, no, but like I was talking more so like I was thinking about it off the air.

And I was thinking, like, you know what? Lou's voice definitely sounds like that. It's not fake. It's not a show. He talks like that. That's how he talks. I have a video of me, you and him and in your truck driving to Craters of the Moon, and he's talking like that.

Speaker 2: He's got like a New Jersey accent.

Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. But I was thinking for those dumb radio DJs that put on the voice. We just put a wild animal in the studio with them and we see how far they can go with the voice before they drop it and go, get me out of here.

Speaker 2: that sounds great I like this.

Speaker 3: Hey guys, welcome back to the the pick.

Speaker 2: Oh my god, is that an alligator? All of a sudden, Shaggy's talking normal. Soinks. Well, I was gonna ask you, Peach, is uh have you ever gotten an argument with someone while you're driving? Yeah.

Speaker 3: I was gonna say, I guess.

Speaker 2: I guess the answer would

Speaker 3: be like via Discord or via phone call, or we're arguing with people on the road, like all of the above.

Speaker 2: Somebody in your car with you, somebody on the phone. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 3: What's the what's the dumbest argument you've had in your car? Oh, geez. I think I was arguing with my mom years ago, back when Justin Bieber was on the rise, and she's like, it's Justin Beaver. I'm like, it's beaver, you idiot!

Speaker 2: Like we're going back and forth. She's like, No, it's Justin Beaver. I'm like, no, mom, I can't wait to go home and prove you're wrong. Yeah. Um, I don't know what my dumbest one is, but you have to pay attention while driving when you're engaged in an argument. You know, that's distracted driving, which leads to accident injuries, and then you gotta call the advocate's injuries.

Speaker 3: Was this just a long-winded commercial?

Speaker 2: Is that what you're doing? I was I was just sneaking it in. Sneaking in ahead of the game. Sneaking in a plug for my homies at the advocate's injury.

Speaker 3: I had to record a spot for Friday, so I figured I might as well get it done now.

Speaker 2: This is the story I'm gonna use. Person drives vehicle off cliff while arguing with partner on the phone. What do you mean he cheated on me with bread? This was uh in Fresno County. Of course, near Table Mountain Casino. Um Table Mountain.

Speaker 3: You have an argument in near Table Mountain Casino. What?

Speaker 2: Jeez, this person intentionally drove off a cliff. Oh. They're gonna be. Well, it says their condition is unknown, but they were airlifted.

Speaker 3: Uh I was gonna say what was the argument. Do you think I could survive jumping off this cliff?

Speaker 2: I'm gonna drive the car with a cliff.

Speaker 3: Okay, watch me do it right now.

Speaker 2: No, I'm gonna do it because I know I can survive.

Speaker 3: It's not dead man's curve, I'll be fine.

Speaker 2: That's right, it's just Sky Harbor Drive, Peach. It's very nice.

Speaker 3: I swear my car can fly. I'll show you. Oh.

Speaker 2: Well, hopefully that driver's okay. Yeah, um, try to not argue on the phone while driving. Then you turn into an aggressive driver, and who knows? You might I've had it! Driving this thing off a cliff. That's that's a bad day.

Speaker 3: Luckily, I've never gotten to that point. Uh Yeah, me either. I've never I think driving now, I'm much more calm and everything. I'm not like randomly flipping people off, especially like now that like people know who I am and everything.

Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't do any of that stuff. Um I might road rage from time to time and be like, come on and just go. That's a sign of maturity. Roundabout. Look to your left and go!

Speaker 3: You know, you don't give them a flip middle finger, you just give them a thumbs down.

Speaker 2: It's even worse. That is worse.

Speaker 3: Or like you just say, you never know what that person's going through, and then you move on from that. And it makes you seem like the bigger person. And then they seem like a complete and utter like loser if they actually like follow you. I've had a friend's mom here in the area get so upset that she followed somebody to like the place they were going to. And then to in order for like her to get out of the car and start yelling at them. Oh, geez. That's a way for you to get like shot at.

Speaker 2: Yeah, this is Idaho. Don't do that. All right. Everyone has concealed carry. You don't know what kind of maniac you're pulling up on.

Speaker 3: Or you keep it pulling up on Victor with the makeup on his face, going, What do you want, Mr.? How mister.

Speaker 2: The noon hour of madness and mayhem is a production of River Band Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit Riverband Media Group.com.