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This is the Executive Connect Podcast - a show for the new generation of leaders. Join us as we discover unconventional leadership strategies not traditionally associated with executive roles. Our guests include upper-level C-Suite executives charting new ways to grow their organizations, successful entrepreneurs changing the way the world does business, and experts and thought leaders from fields outside of Corporate America that can bring new insights into leadership, prosperity, and personal growth - all while connecting on a human level. No one has all the answers - but by building a community of open-minded and engaged leaders we hope to give you the tools you need to help you find your own path to success.
Melissa Aarskaug (00:01.222)
Welcome to the executive connect podcast today. have Morgan Adams MSW a holistic sleep coach for women to talk with us today about breaking up with insomnia Welcome Morgan
Morgan (00:17.18)
Thank you, Melissa. It's nice to be here with
Melissa Aarskaug (00:20.936)
I'm so excited to talk about sleep and sleep solutions. You're a renowned sleep coach who specialize in helping busy people sleep so we can recover, recoup and become our best selves next day. Can you share a little bit with our listeners about your journey into becoming a sleep coach?
Morgan (00:43.414)
Sure. Well, about 15 years ago, I had pretty bad insomnia and it was the kind of situation where I could not fall asleep. So technically sleep onset insomnia. I would lay there for like one to two hours most nights waiting for sleep to come. It didn't come. I got very frustrated after a few months and I decided to go to my family doctor to get some help. I was prescribed Ambien, very common sleep aid.
thought nothing of it at the time because I was a pharmaceutical sales rep. know, medications were part of my daily repertoire. So I took the Ambien and it did help me fall asleep faster, but I had a lot of residual side effects the next day. I had a lot of grogginess, a lot of brain fog. It was just really hard to kind of get going. And I continued on that trajectory for about eight years of taking it. And then I met a guy who is now my husband.
And during the early stages of us dating, he said to me in a very kind, loving way, it kind of freaks me out when you take these sleeping pills, you kind of turn into this zombie. And I thought, wow, it's true. It was sort of my wake up call to make the move to get off the pills. What I did to get off the pills is not what I recommend other people to do. I did this without consulting my prescribing
And I really recommend that if you're on any medication, get with your provider, get a schedule, a system to get yourself off the pills. I just kind of cut the pills down. And fortunately for me, I was able to be successful in that endeavor and I got off of sleeping pills and I slept pretty well for many years. And then there was a plot twist. That plot twist was something we experienced collectively, March of 2020, right when the pandemic started.
We were all kind of scurrying around going, what is going on here? And I started to have trouble falling asleep again. So I got concerned because I did not want to go down that long road of insomnia that I had worked so hard to get away from. So I started Googling, you know, how to sleep better. And then I found myself able to really implement some of the tips that I was learning. got myself an aura ring to track my sleep.
Morgan (03:06.134)
And my sleep got better pretty quickly. So I started just sharing organically on Facebook some of the things that I was doing to help my sleep and come to find out a lot of people in my circle during that time were struggling with their sleep and they were saying, this is really helpful. So I got thinking, you late in 2020 that I wanted to make helping people sleep better my profession. And that's really how the whole
holistic sleep coach business got started. It's just, really wanted to help other people and particularly women get better sleep because I knew really at the core how foundational it was to feeling good, living a fulfilled life. So that is my journey into this whole realm of sleep.
Melissa Aarskaug (03:55.888)
I love it. It's interesting. There's so much, so many misconceptions about sleep. hear a lot of times people say, I only need four hours of sleep and I can, I'm good to go. I can fully hit attack my day at my best. Can you share with our listeners some common misconceptions that you hear about sleep and maybe some truth to those misconceptions?
Morgan (04:20.734)
Yeah, well, what you shared is a misconception. The reality is we're not meant to function very well off of that amount of sleep. And quite often what people will do is they'll think that they're functioning pretty well. But when you actually sit them down in a laboratory setting with that little sleep, you will find that their functioning, their reaction time is very limited.
But it's almost a similar situation to somebody who's had too many drinks and they think they're quote, okay to drive. It's a similar scenario. People who've had very little sleep think they're quote, okay to go out and do things. But when you test them, they're really not at their best. So you hit on one really good one. The other myth that I like to expose is I need eight hours of sleep. So there's a lot
talk in the media, there's a lot of ads. I get shown a lot of ads because I'm a sleep coach for sleep products. And there's this sort of eight hours of sleep myth that I like to call it. And the reality is not everyone needs eight hours of sleep. So let me explain what I mean by that. The National Sleep Foundation has recommended between seven and nine hours of sleep for adults 18 to 64. But when you look at the fine print in those recommendations, you'll see
anywhere between six and 10 hours can be appropriate for some people. So a lot of people can function just fine, you know, with six hours and 45 minutes. People who are constantly striving for eight hours, maybe, and maybe ending up frustrated because they can't achieve that eight hours. I personally rarely produce eight hours of sleep. My body doesn't really want that much
I mean, at once seven and a half hours is a sweet spot. So what really the whole point of this is everyone needs to really figure out what their own sleep need is. But it gets a little bit more complicated than that. Let me explain what I mean. So we really are starting to shift our conversation away from the number of hours from a public health standpoint. There was a recent study published just a few months ago.
Morgan (06:39.95)
with thousands and thousands of people that really confirmed that it was the consistency of our sleep that was a little bit more impactful than the number of hours. So in this particular study, they showed that people who slept consistently six hours of sleep had a basically lower mortality rate from all causes than people who slept in a regular schedule of eight hours. So we really want to take into consideration that consistency as well as the quality. So it's
It's a really a little bit more of a nuanced conversation that we need to focus in on. And I do think that public health messaging will start to shift soon about getting away from just the numbers only.
Melissa Aarskaug (07:23.844)
yeah, absolutely. think, you know, people say I slept eight hours and they were up six times in eight hours. You know, is that really quality sleep? You know, you might have laid in the bed for eight hours. That doesn't mean you get eight hours of sleep if you're only sleeping for three of the eight, right? And I think you're spot
Morgan (07:30.633)
Yes.
Morgan (07:41.394)
Exactly.
Melissa Aarskaug (07:45.352)
And I know a lot of times I hear that, you know, I slept my eight hours and I'm still tired in the morning and I still need coffee and four shots of espresso and all the things to move through my day. You know, from do you think that affects like mindset throughout the day and productivity if you feel like you've slept eight hours and you're waking up very tired still and you're caffeinating up and starting your day? Like how does that
people's mindsets and the way they tackle their days.
Morgan (08:15.752)
Yeah, I think it has a huge effect. I think that probably most of those people are starting their day with this mindset of like, it's going to be a rotten day, you know, like everything's going to kind of go to crap because I haven't slept very well, or I feel very groggy. The reality is that if you're getting, you know, let's just say eight hours of sleep, like you mentioned in this example, and you're still groggy most days, it's time to
some attention on your sleep. It's time to really like dig in and figure out why you're not feeling well on eight hours of sleep because you technically should be feeling better on eight hours of sleep. And there's so many variables at play. You know, I mean, we could go on and on, but I mean, quite often in my practice, what I'm finding is that when people are saying they have eight hours of sleep and they're still groggy, it could be a potential sleep apnea situation.
because they're having micro awakenings during the night that they're unaware of. And that's when a sleep test comes into play and you can do those at home. You don't have to go to a lab necessarily to do them. But definitely, people could have a very unsettling mindset about how their day is gonna go if they're getting that quote eight hours and they still feel rotten. Absolutely.
Melissa Aarskaug (09:38.8)
Yeah, and I want to talk a little bit about your holistic approach to better sleep and some of your methods that you use in combining, you know, science and lifestyle practices to get better quality sleep. Can you share a little bit about
Morgan (09:53.926)
Yeah. So I take a holistic approach, which means I'm looking at all different areas of your life. So we delve really deep. There's a lot of questions I ask my clients because I have to really get what I'm really trying to get to is the root cause of the sleep disturbances. So we're going anywhere from like looking at nutrition movement, looking at your chronotype, whether or not you're a morning lark or a night owl. We're looking at your routines and how consistent you are.
how you're setting your day up, how you're winding your day down. Those are very important too, as well as mindfulness. Quite often we have to build mindfulness into this whole equation. And there's also a technique called CBTI, which is cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia. And that is something that has been.
well known as a first line treatment for insomnia since the 1980s, even more effective than sleeping pills because there's no side effects. And so what I will often do with the right client is weave some of those techniques into my practice. And just to kind of give a little synopsis, CBTI is really helping people change their behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs around sleep. And that could mean having
being able to change their sleep and wake times, condensing their sleep quite a bit. Quite often in insomnia, we find that people are spending 10 hours in bed only to generate seven hours of sleep. So what we'll do in situations like that is we'll kind of prescribe a seven hour time in bed window because we know that's how much sleep they're generating. So therefore their sleep becomes deeper and more consolidated. And another thing about mindset and beliefs,
Quite often, I'll see people coming to me with a very unhealthy sleep mindset, maladaptive thoughts and beliefs about sleep. And what we need to do is work to correct those to make them at least neutral. They may not be positive from the get -go, but to move them from a place of negativity to neutrality is really important.
Melissa Aarskaug (12:01.958)
Yeah, and you know, it's interesting. It made me think in my sector, the tech sector, a lot of times, you know, people are doing client meetings in the evenings, they're drinking, and then they're taking, you know, juggling uppers and downers and then taking a sleep pill to go to bed. And I want to talk a little bit about kind of what you mentioned at the beginning, you were taking some prescription medications to get to sleep and share maybe a little bit
the importance of natural remedies as well with helping you become a better
Morgan (12:37.75)
Yeah, sure. Well, in delving into the research about sleeping pills, what I discovered was that about 80 % of people have residual side effects the next day, such as the ones I experienced. So that would mean, you know, having a hard time getting up out of bed, grogginess, brain fog. Another thing that's really interesting to note is that in 2019, they put a black box warning on this class of drugs, the Z drugs.
And they did that because they were finding that people were getting themselves into dangerous situations after taking these pills, getting behind the wheel, having accidents because they were sort of, they were, what's happening is you're, you're sedated, you're heavily sedated when you're on these pills. And the quality of your sleep is not the same as if you were going to sleep without the meds.
your sleep stages can get a little bit thwarted. So you're not going through those sleep stages in the correct order, which can be a problem making you feel very groggy. So all that to say, you know, there is a time and a place for the sleep meds. I don't want to completely bash them, but what seems to be happening is that physicians are not giving their patients an exit strategy. So,
When you look at the sleeping pill information, you know, that package insert, it does say they're only meant to be used for like four weeks. But what ends up happening is that they're being used refill after refill after refill. And so the client becomes dependent on them psychologically. And the doctor just keeps refilling it because they never, the doctor never, you know, sat the patient down and said, okay, Sally, you just went through a death in the family. We're going to have you take these for two weeks and then we're going
get an exit strategy. That's not being done as often as it should be. So there's some reeducation that needs to be happening with sleep and family practice physicians that are actually only getting about two hours of sleep science training in medical school, which is crazy to think because you're spending a third of your time asleep. would hope that they would have more know -how about how to help people who are struggling with their sleep, but hopefully
Morgan (14:57.834)
going to change in the future.
Melissa Aarskaug (15:00.464)
Yeah, you know, and it's interesting. I'm thankful, very thankful that I've been a good sleeper. But I think the reason I've been a good sleeper is not because I've been mindful about sleeping. It's because I practice a certain process to be a better sleeper, like exercise and turning off electronic devices and taking down my brain. so I want to talk a little bit about techniques you
recommend people. I know the more that we layer our brains with work and family and our parents and our community, the more things that are on our brain, the harder it is to take down our brain. And so I want you to share a little bit about some of the techniques that are helpful for those that may not even be aware that they're doing something that could be the cause of some of these things.
Morgan (15:38.719)
Yes.
Morgan (15:51.606)
Yeah, you bring up a really excellent point, Melissa, because the busy brain keeping us from getting to sleep is one of like the most common complaints I get from clients. And so there's some strategies I'll share with you to help alleviate that. So number one, this is what I would suggest is for people to take what I call mindfulness snacks and basically what those are, or like maybe five or 10 minute chunks throughout the day, maybe start with three a day morning.
lunchtime and then later on in the day. And basically what you're doing in these like mindfulness snacks sessions is you are not taking in new information. You're not like, you're not listening to a podcast. You're not engaged in anything. You are kind of sitting quietly. Maybe you're doing some breath work or meditation. Maybe it's a walk in nature without listening to your podcast. And that allows you to really kind
address those thoughts and feelings during the day because what often happens with a lot of busy executives is that they're going from one meeting to another, boom, boom, boom, go, go, go all day. And they don't take those breaks to stop and process their thoughts and emotions. So when their head hits the pillow at night, bam, all those thoughts and things popping up like popcorn. So it's allowing that time to process during the day. And you don't need to do that much. Like I said, maybe
three 10 minute sessions a day. And if you have a hard time remembering that, then just do an alert in your phone. That's a really helpful way to kind of bring you back to reality. Oh, it's time for my mindfulness snack. The other strategy I would suggest for people to do, and this is especially helpful for the people who are more worrying types, the worried brains, is to set aside about 10, 15, I would say 15 minutes a day.
Usually in the early evening is a good time to do this. And it's called the constructive worry exercise. This is a technique coming from CBTI, which I mentioned earlier. And essentially what this is, it's getting a piece of paper, dividing that piece of paper in two by drawing a line down the center, having two columns. On the left -hand side column, you're writing concerns and worries. And on the right -hand side column, you're writing solutions. So essentially this is a brain dump. So you're just
Morgan (18:18.934)
kind of churning out all the things that are concerning you, bothering you, worrying you. And then in that right column, you're notating the next steps to solving that problem. Now, if it's more of a global concern, if it's something kind of nebulous, you can just write that down, like, cannot address this now, we'll have to revisit this. But the point of this exercise is to really get everything out of your head and onto paper so that when you wake
at two or three a and you start to worry, you can say, hey brain, hey self, I have already addressed the worries for the night. I will resume worrying tomorrow at the designated time. So you're essentially retraining your brain to worry at a specific time. And it takes some practice. It doesn't work in one night. You have to do this for a couple weeks for it to really sink in and take effect, but it's a very, very powerful exercise for people to do if they're prone to kind of
being disturbed by those worries at night.
Melissa Aarskaug (19:22.246)
I love it. want to talk a little bit. of all, I love this. The sleep being makeover, the sleep makeover that you do, the one -on -one coaching that you do to help you get to sleep faster, stay asleep longer, and really improve your overall sleep. Can you share a little bit about that program and what you're doing to help people increase their energy and productivity in their day to
Morgan (19:48.192)
Sure. So the way I work with my clients is through one -to -one sessions on Zoom. So no matter where you are, I can work with you because thankfully Zoom is such a great tool. And so I start off by taking a really deep dive into somebody's history. So it's a little bit like going to a doctor's visit. You know, I'm delving into your health history. I'm asking you about your routines. I'm asking you about, you know, a lot of your sleep behaviors.
and your attitudes and just really trying to understand sort of your sleep landscape, if you will. And then once we've kind of discovered, once I've discovered, you know, what's going on, then we start chipping away at getting things resolved. And I really like to work in smaller incremental bits because if you give somebody too much all at once, it's going to be very overwhelming. So we may start
smaller, you know, we're going to touch on a whole bunch of topics I mentioned earlier. We're going to touch on nutrition, movement, making sure that your lifestyle is matching your chronotype, making sure that your evening and morning routines are supportive of your sleep, right? That's so important. So it's my program is definitely not like a cookie cutter scenario. It's not like session three, we do this. I'm kind of where you are, you know.
And everyone is so individual that for me, it's the best way to help people because having a very structured program, I think, can not be advantageous to most people because just meeting people where they are, I just think is so critical. there's no, you know, there's a roadmap, but there's not like, on this session, we're going to definitely cover this. And yeah, everyone's different.
Melissa Aarskaug (21:44.988)
Yeah, I want to unpack what you said a little bit. Like there is so much like, you know, the line down the middle with the paper, there is so much on people's brain. seems like, you know, I would say like you mentioned COVID at the beginning of COVID, heard the word, word, Zoom fatigue. I'm Zoom fatigued. I heard that constantly. I'm like, what is Zoom fatigued? And I didn't necessarily believe in it at the beginning of COVID. And I think my perspective has shifted a little bit since
we've come out of the pandemic in a sense that a lot of the day now we're reacting to our day. We're meeting, meeting, like you said, and in between the meetings, we're trying to catch up on email and, know, something happened at the kids' school and, you know, we have all these things going on personally, professionally, and then our world is in turmoil as well later on, you know, what's going on that we can't control. I know it, it, it, it overall affects all of us and we're trying to deal with it.
and we process a lot at night, right? We're recovering from our day, recouping, our body's healing. And so using kind of some of the tips you said is really important for people to start practicing that when you wake up at three and you're like, my gosh, I forgot to send that email or my gosh, I forgot my report's due today. And you have all these things that, and you're like, okay, I'll send it in the morning.
and then you lay back down and then being you're up again. It's kind of like you were saying, we've got to train ourself and the more you train yourself, I think the more workplace productivity you will have. And so I want to talk a little bit about, you know, once you use some of the tactics you mentioned, how it positively affects people and their roles in their workplace. Can you share a little bit about like the productivity factor of better sleep?
Morgan (23:39.062)
Yeah, well, we definitely know that when you're getting better sleep, you're more productive, you're more positive. One thing that we don't talk about a lot though is how it affects our relationships at work. So they've done some research showing that when people are not getting good sleep, they're like 10 % less more cooperative with their peers. So if you think about how many people are potentially getting bad sleep, and if you're, if you're building a team, if you're managing a team,
and a lot of these people aren't sleeping well, they may not be getting along with each other, right? They may not be contributing. They may be kind of slacking off a bit. They've definitely shown studies proving that. They've also taken a look at leadership and found that when leaders are under slept, their charisma is deemed as less charismatic than if they were better slept. They've actually done these studies.
quite often in the past, I think that the tide is turning, but I think there's still a little bit out there. People in leadership would often brag about, I pulled an all -nighter, and when you do that as a leader, you're setting the tone for a very unhealthy, unfriendly sleep environment, right? Because then the employees, the teammates think, gosh, I
pulling all nighters, does that mean I'm a bad person? So, and another thing is, you know, sending emails like at two in the morning, way off hours, you know, it's really important for people to realize that there's, you know, there's gotta be some boundaries, you know, and if you have to send an email, schedule it, you know, schedule it for work hours. So there's just so many things that leaders can do.
on their own level to model positive sleep behaviors. It really starts from the top.
Melissa Aarskaug (25:42.44)
Yeah, I wanna talk a little bit more about some tips, but one thing that came to mind when you were mentioning that is the one thing that I'm very consistent on is consistency of sleep. Like I travel, I've traveled for over 11 years of my career, so I could go to Europe
East Coast or Pacific time and I live on central time. So my normal circadian rhythm shifts and pivots depending on the time zone I'm in and I might wake up earlier, eat breakfast and then stay up late and catch another meal. But I think to your point, consistency is really key. So if you go to bed at nine, go to bed at nine, right? And there's like, there's a window of, you
910, 930, but I wanna talk a little bit about the importance of consistency in our sleep. Like if you get eight hours of sleep, but it's European time versus a different time zone, can you share a little bit about maybe some practical tips for better sleep and then touch on consistency and why that's so important?
Morgan (26:49.798)
Yeah. So when we talk about consistency, we really want to hone in most on our wake up time. We really want to make sure that our wake time is consistent every day. And that means the weekends too, because sometimes people are like, well that means Monday through Friday, I'm consistent. And on Saturday and Sunday, it's a free for all. Your body and brain don't know the difference between the weekday and the weekend. And the reason
Consistent wake up time is so important is it since it's a an anchor for your circadian rhythm And so when you when you wake up in the morning, you typically will have about 16 17 hours for this Sleep chemical called adenosine to build up in your brain and that adenosine has to be released through sleep So what happens is a byproduct of your consistent wake up time is that you begin to be sleepy around the same time each night?
So quite often in the media, I'll see, you know, sort of some incorrect information. And I like to kind of it's a nuanced topic. But when people talk about you need to pick a certain bedtime, I'm not I'm not all in on that because I think that you should really pick a bedtime window. So to pick a bedtime window between nine and 10 as your time to go to bed, because what ends up happening quite often is
If you say, my bedtime is 10 o 'clock every night and you get into bed at 10, and let's just say you're not sleepy yet, you're lying there tossing and turning for a while. So really, I would recommend leaning in on those sleepiness cues for going to bed versus this is my designated bedtime. But again, like I said, if you've got the anchored wake up time, it's gonna fall into place a lot more easily, right? Another practice.
that I would recommend highly, it's been working extraordinarily well for me and my clients is getting morning sunlight. And so you would wanna do that as soon as you wake up or, you know, if it's, as soon as probably within a half an hour of waking up, you wanna get outside and see the natural light. You do not wanna have glasses or sunglasses on because that can actually impede the light from getting into your eyes. So when the light hits your retina,
Morgan (29:13.49)
it sends a signal to your suprachiasmatic nucleus, which is your circadian pacemaker. And from there, there's this beautiful cascade of neurotransmitters and hormones being fired off. like any residual melatonin from the night before gets shut down, your cortisol gets boosted, your serotonin gets boosted, and your melatonin production starts to get prepared for the following night. So it's an excellent practice for...
getting your day going for helping regulate your circadian rhythm. And then I would say probably like the last tip, really big tip that I would have is consistent exercise because the exercise works to increase that adenosine chemical. works to help build up sleep pressure during the day. And what we have found is that when you exercise, all of your sleep metrics improve, you know, the time it takes you to fall asleep.
the efficiency of your sleep. And we also have seen study like a meta -analysis of 13 studies showing that moderate exercise helps with deep sleep. So the more active you are, the better. And it doesn't necessarily mean that you need to take HIIT classes every day. They're looking at moderate exercise as the benchmark for better sleep. So I share all those tips because they're all free.
They're all actionable and most people can do them to some extent. Maybe not every single day you can exercise, but five out of seven days. You don't have to spend a ton of money to sleep well. I I love the gadgets that I have, they're fun, but if you're struggling with your sleep, I would say hone in on the basics like I just shared first. Get those basics nailed down before you invest a lot of money.
into the gadgets.
Melissa Aarskaug (31:12.646)
Yeah, I love that you said that. Because it is like getting the basics and I know like for myself, if I have a heavy sugar dessert, for example, I know in the morning, I am not going to feel it's almost like a sugar hangover in the morning. So I've had to like, change my diet a bit in the evening to make sure that I don't feel that way in the morning. So just like late night snack sugar.
alcohol, all those kind of things, does that affect how you wake up as well in the morning?
Morgan (31:46.902)
yeah, those things are kind of surefire ways to impede your sleep and your readiness the next day. So what I recommend for my clients to do is to avoid eating late at night, avoid snacking, try to have like your last bite of food three hours before bed. I mean, I've even tested this on myself using my Oura Ring. The longer timeframe I leave between
My dinner and sleep, the better my sleep scores are, the better my readiness and recovery is the next day. So you really wanna be mindful of the timing. If you're gonna have sweets, like I have a sweet tooth, I do. But I try to eat sweets like midday, maybe after lunch, know, have a little dessert after lunch versus having the dessert after dinner. It does make, because the sugar sort of increases your heart rate.
your temperature and when your temperature and heart rate have increased, it's not as easy to fall asleep and stay asleep. And then the alcohol piece is a big one too. A lot of people like to enjoy their evening wine and I'm not one to say completely stop drinking if that's not what you want to do, but I've worked with several clients who see in their sleep journal, I have everyone fill out a Google Doc with their sleep information. They clearly see.
when they've had alcohol, they have more wakeups in the middle of the night. They don't feel as refreshed in the morning. And so what I'll often do with these clients is just modify their situation a little bit. So instead of having two drinks at dinner at eight o 'clock, have one drink at five o 'clock. It makes a huge difference. The timing of the alcohol, like I would leave at least three hours between the time you go to bed and your last drink.
just same similar to what I just said about dinner. I've noticed it too in my own scores and it's not worth it. One alcoholic beverage for a woman reduces her sleep quality about to 38%. That's a lot of sleep quality to leave on the table. So it's just, I'm not saying, know, completely abstain, but shift things around a little
Melissa Aarskaug (34:13.276)
Yeah, absolutely. And I also, as you were saying that, was thinking, you you might have great sleep quality. know I would consider myself somebody who has good sleep quality, but my significant other didn't. And their struggles with sleep has affected my struggles sometime at sleep. So if they're waking up, you're waking up. So if you don't necessarily struggle with sleep, it's just tips and tricks.
that help you become a better sleeper or get better with sleeping to make you more productive in the mornings and through your day and ready to take on the day. know working with your significant other too will help using the tips that you shared. You both sleep well at night. So have you seen that happen with your clients where maybe they're a good sleeper or both of them are not great sleeper and how it affects their scores and
their sleep quality.
Morgan (35:13.242)
yeah, I think there's a lot of play on that. What I'm finding a lot with my female clients is that they get disturbed by their husband's snoring. And this becomes contentious at some time because, the wife is like, I'm so sick of your snoring. I'm going to go to the other bedroom. And then what happens is, quote, a sleep divorce. And I hate that term, but I'll use it because everyone knows what it is. If that is you,
I would recommend having a conversation that is one of, we're in this together. We have a shared problem and let's figure it out together. The first step is to get your partner a sleep study. somebody, like, of course, if you're being bothered by his sleep.
Yes, go to another bedroom if that's helping you sleep, but that's not the ultimate solution. The ultimate solution is to get to the root cause of why your partner's snoring. And the only way you can do that is to get a sleep study. So first step is the sleep study. There have been so, again, it's a very contentious issue. And the way that you have a conversation can really dictate the outcome, you know, whether it's going to go well or it's not, but really.
presenting it as it's a shared problem that we have, we need to find a solution to it. Yeah.
Melissa Aarskaug (36:37.8)
I love that you said that too, the sleep. So I had a similar situation in my relationship where my partner was like, I sleep great. And I'm like, no, you don't sleep great. And we actually did it together and built a plan and built something that worked for him and worked for me. And we ended up agreeing on using an air purifier in our room. Cause the white noise like drowns out the sound for me. And I
great now and so I think you hit, you nailed it with finding it's both your problems that work together so you can sleep together and they can get good sleep and you can get good sleep and what works for us might not work for others so getting the data and the sleep study is really key. I know after I got the purifier, the noise purifier in our room,
I went and got him an aura ring. So I had the data to share with him that if he's up at two, I'm also up at two. And together we can look at the data of his aura ring and my aura ring and figure out a way to make it work. And I would say, I'm happy to say Morgan, today we both sleep great and we're working on getting better.
Morgan (37:39.188)
That's right.
Melissa Aarskaug (37:56.712)
But when you have kids play into it too, right? So if you're a mom and your kid comes down, you're also gonna be up, right? And kind of back and forth with your kids, getting them back upstairs, then putting yourself back to bed. So any final tips that we might have missed or you want to share that we may have missed?
Morgan (38:05.782)
Thanks.
Morgan (38:19.188)
Well, I just want to reiterate the importance of doing the basics and the foundational things first before you kind of go off and start biohacking your sleep. I mean, trust me, I love the biohacking. It's great. But the foundations are often overlooked because they're not sexy. They're free. But the free stuff, like I shared, the consistent wake up time, the natural light in the morning and exercise, you don't have to pay for those things. Those are free. So get those things mastered first.
And the other thing that I would leave you with is the importance of how you talk about your sleep. So I work with a lot of clients who have a lot of sleep struggles and the way that they talk about their sleep and what they say is very inflammatory. Saying, quote, I'm a bad sleeper or my sleep sucks. I've really tried to move people away from that language because
it really can be a self -fulfilling prophecy. So I'm not telling anyone to go and kind of do toxic positivity or like positive poly, like I'm an excellent sleeper, but
But looking at it from a more realistic standpoint, instead of saying, I'm a terrible sleeper, saying, I'm having some challenges sleeping right now, but I'm doing the work to get things back on track and I'm confident I'll be sleeping better within a few months. Such a different mindset message that you're giving yourself. and then, you know, think about how you're, if you have children, don't call them a bad sleeper because they may pick up on that and that kind
that kind of name might follow them into adulthood. So you don't want them to think they're a bad sleeper. Even if they are a bad sleeper, you don't want them to kind of get that label on themselves as an adult.
Melissa Aarskaug (40:08.368)
Yeah, absolutely. That's such sage advice to not put things in people's brain because it is your way of self -fulfilling prophecy. Morgan, thank you so much for being here and sharing your time and your knowledge with our listeners. Please connect with Morgan. Find her online. You have a great test online. People
get a little more information from you about their sleeping and schedule a one -on -one with you. Do you wanna share a little bit about
Morgan (40:39.998)
Sure, so you can definitely schedule what I call a sleep clarity call with me. It's a free consultation where we'll talk about your sleep struggle and talk about sleep coaching if it's the right fit for you. If it's not the right fit, I've got a lot of referral folks that I can share with you if I'm not the right person. I also have a free mini course that people can sign up to take and it's really to help people.
build better evening and morning routines for good sleep because those are the bookends of our day and night are so critical and are getting good sleep. So you can sign up for that too.
Melissa Aarskaug (41:16.242)
That's fantastic. Thank you so much for being here today on the Executive Connect podcast.
Morgan (41:23.114)
Thank you, Melissa.