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Welcome to The Limitless Podcast with Deanna Herrin, your space to elevate every area of your life. Designed for ambitious souls and entrepreneurs ready to unlock their full potential, this podcast combines mindset mastery, leadership strategies, and transformational insights to guide you toward living a life of abundance and alignment.
Through empowering solo episodes and thought-provoking guest interviews, Deanna reveals the secrets to building confidence, creating meaningful success, and breaking through limiting beliefs. Whether you’re redefining your purpose or scaling your business, this is where the journey to your next level begins. Let’s shatter ceilings and embrace the limitless possibilities waiting for you.
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Instagram: @deannaherrin
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deanna-herrin/
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Website: http://www.deannaherrin.net
Unknown: You are listening to
the limitless podcast. I'm your
host. Deanna Herron, what if you
had no limitations keeping you
from your dream life in 2016 I
had a major tug on my heart to
write a book about my story, and
in the process, I learned that I
had been operating with a very
faulty belief system for the
majority of my life. I've had a
huge transformation since then,
and my life's passion and
mission is to teach you how to
live a limitless life. Join me
on this journey. Let's get
started.
Hello, beautiful souls, and
welcome back to the limitless
podcast. I have a special treat
for you today, so I have a new
BFF, I think. And Jessica and I
met through a connection call.
She she's on LinkedIn. I'm on
LinkedIn. I reached out to her,
and we had a call. And I'm
telling you this woman, it is
going to be such an
inspirational podcast for you.
She is so full of life. She's so
full of generosity, she is so
full of love, and she has such a
huge heart to change the
difference in women's lives. And
perfect for this podcast. And so
I want to introduce to you
Jessica bird. She coaches women,
mainly in tech, but she really
helps these women overcome
burnout and really have more of
a sustainable life to where
they're enjoying life as they
are working. She has a very
beautiful story, and she is here
to share her wisdom with us. So
Jessica, thank you so much for
joining me. Such a pleasure and
an honor to have you on the
limitless podcast. Oh my gosh.
Thank you. First of all, the
honors all mine, and that was a
beautiful intro. I'm my heart's
just super good. I really
appreciate it. Thank you. Yes.
So tell us about you I would
love for I know everybody on
this that's on this podcast. We
all have stories, and we all
have stories of how we
transitioned as something that
was so soulful to us, and which
is so beautiful, right? And I
would love to know your story.
Tell us, first and foremost,
where you are, what's your
family life about, and then
let's get into the business side
of it. Yeah. So I am in Southern
California, in San Diego, the
northern most part of San Diego,
and I'm not from here. So that
is just something that my soul
brought me to this beautiful
oasis here in the left corner of
the country. But I am originally
born and raised from DC,
northern Virginia area, and then
after college, my best friend
and I were like that place on
the map always looks sunny.
Let's go check that one out. And
it's been where my soul's been
happiest ever since. So that's
kind of where I'm at and where I
probably will be for
forevermore. And I have, I'm
happily married for God, 12
years. I feel like I'm bad. I
start. I've stopped losing count
after a while. But yeah, it's
been 12 years, and we have two
amazing children. I've got a
nine year old son and a seven
year old daughter, and they're
my greatest teachers and my
biggest why. So not only my
biggest why, in my pull to go
down my soul aligned path and
have more presence with them,
more life experiences with them
than what I was experiencing in
corporate but also my biggest
why in the type of ripples and
shifts that I want to create for
their generation. So when
they're going into the
workforce, I'm hopeful that it
will look different, and if
anything, that they'll have the
foundation to know that it can
be different. Yes, I have no
doubt. As you are an amazing
teacher, and you've had so many
great things that have happened
in your life that have led you
to where you are today, so how
could they not learn from that
so beautiful? Yeah, yeah. So
tell us a little bit about how
you got into the soul aligned. I
love that, and I want to dive
into that in just a minute, a
little bit deeper. But how did
you end up in your soul, aligned
career? Well, quite a journey. I
was after college. I just, I did
what everyone did. I was
checking off all the boxes,
right? It's like, okay, get the
high school degree check, go.
Get the college degree check,
get whatever paying salary you
can get with benefits, check
meet the boy, get married, all
the all the check boxes. And
what I found is, when I started
really immersing myself in my
career, I started to find a lot
of value in my identity from my
performance so and this is
something that we can talk about
later on, but seeing where all
the things that I learned on how
to find value and safety and
love and acceptance in my
childhood, it carried straight
into adulthood. So for me, my
career and my ambition and like
high achieving personality and
wanting to be this top
performer, it.
Two things. One, it was giving
me the sense of value. So I was
working heavily in corporate at
digital agencies and big tech,
and then also in my 20s and 30s,
I I had really bad anxiety. So
for me, it was also a
distraction, because it allowed
me to focus on the work versus
focusing on the internal and
over the course of time, I had a
my husband and I had a
miscarriage with our first
pregnancy when I was in my early
30s. And it was I didn't know
that that was common, because my
whole life, I was taught to how
easy it is to get pregnant and
all the steps to avoid it. And
so then when I was actually
trying to get pregnant, I was
like, Oh my gosh, what is this?
This is not as easy as everyone
for, for some people, right? And
so I was in a dark place. I felt
alone and scared. And then that
was actually my access point, my
my catalyst to fall into
meditation. And from there, that
really changed my life. So
that's where my internal really
started to take shape, and from
there I started to when I ended
up being a mother, and I was
still doing this high achieving.
I had worked on my anxiety, but
that value piece was still
there. I just got to the point
after a significant burnout, one
that was not my first, but
definitely my biggest. I just
remember my son had drawn a
picture for me, and it was me
and him standing in the rain,
and he was protecting me from
being sad. And I was just like,
Oh, my God, this is my kids are
seeing this now. And that was, I
say it's my Eat, Pray, Love
moment, because I literally went
in, up into my bedroom with the
picture and had, like, bawled my
eyes out in fetal position on my
bedroom floor. So from there on
out, I vowed that this had my
success had to look different,
and I had nothing to lose by
trying to test the status quo
and push my own boundaries of
what that could look like. And
so that's kind of where I
started to shift what that's
what was possible within my
success, and when I started to
be able to see that within
myself, I was like, I want more.
Women need to be there's so many
women who are just hanging by
thread throughout the week, like
they're trying to be all the
things in their career, in at
home, and they're putting
themselves last, and they're
burning the candle at both ends.
And so I wanted to help, even if
it was just one person by one
person, to help them see what's
possible and really come back to
connection to themselves. So
that's when I knew it was more
soul. My soul aligned to mission
was drive forward there. Yeah,
it's really interesting too,
because come back to self. We
probably most of our life, we're
never really connected to self,
right? Because we are seeking
that approval, we are seeking
that that busyness and it we
just are not connected. We're
we're searching for something
outside of us, over and over,
time and time again. Yes, I can
still relate to that, just for
the audience, I would love for
you to share you said
significant burnout, were your
words. So can you go into a
little bit of what significant
burnout looks like for you?
Yeah, I was at the point where I
was just I was working 10 to 12
hour days. I was working
weekends for weeks on end. I had
over committed myself, and so I
was just constantly it was
almost like I was just in this
hole that I could not get out
of. And as much as I kept
telling myself, Okay, well, I
just got to keep plowing
forward, there's a light at the
end of the tunnel, but that
tunnel just kept getting longer,
and every day it was one more
thing, one more extension was
added to the tunnel and what?
Because I was working around the
clock and my cortisol with the
stress I was experiencing was at
an all time high. I was super
short and reactive to my family,
which hurt my heart as a mom. I
was not getting the quality time
with them. I was my resentment
because of that, towards myself
and the job was just like
growing by the day. My sleep was
horrible. I I just I was very
frazzled. I mean, I wasn't
showing up as the best version
of myself in any area of my
life. And it did take that crash
and burn to realize, okay,
something has to change, because
I can't keep I want. I'm not
exaggerating when I say this. I
could feel like, if I kept at
this pace, I was taking years
off my life. Yeah, so did you?
Did you have some health issues?
Did you? Did you start to see
some things happening in your
health during that time, I
didn't have anything
significant. I mean, well, aside
from rashes that would pop up on
my arms and stuff which were
stress rashes, the sleep, the
anxiety was obviously so it was
more mental, emotional, I would
say, right, right, versus like,
a like, actual, like.
Be the physical ailment, which I
have heard and seen as well. But
the great thing is, is you
caught it when you were having
just those symptoms. Because a
lot of a lot of us, women,
especially, we will continue
going until our body's like
we're shutting her down because
she's not listening to the signs
that, hello, something's off
here, and that's the biggest
shift. Is we are taught in this
society and culture, we're so
focused on money and
productivity and action and go,
go, go, go, go, that we are
constantly in our head and
leading with our mind versus
slowing down and connecting to
our body. And how many times for
years was I pushing past what my
body was communicating to me. I
was hushing it like, okay, yeah,
we'll move tomorrow. I just need
to get more emails out. I'm
going to just sit at my desk,
which is what they what did they
say? That's the That's the new
smoking, right? Is sitting all
day, right? So I think it's
though that we don't recognize,
because we look at everybody
else around us, and they're
still got it together. So we
look at all these people around
us and think, well, there must
be something wrong with me. I've
got to push through this. And we
don't. I think we're learning,
as women to listen to our body,
for sure, but that's not
anything that I was ever taught
to do. It was just that go, go,
go mentality, but tapping into,
wow, what? What is my body
telling me right now, I probably
should stop or slow down doing
what I'm doing in a way. Yeah,
and it's normalized. That's
normalized. I mean, when you I
can't tell you how many times I
would get on a zoom call at work
and check in with someone say,
How's everything going? And busy
was the the word. It's just a
normal it's busy. Yeah, you
know, hanging my thread, it's
busy. It's just that's that is
normal. And I feel that that has
been the silver lining of covid,
is it did wake up a lot of
people into got us off the
hamster wheel. And I'm hopeful
that more and more people are
waking up to the busy it that
should not be the baseline or
the next farmer, yes, yeah,
crazy busy. I'm just crazy busy.
Back
to my calls, yeah,
so from your breakdown, how did
you how did you end up in where
you are today? Ah, so I won. I
started owning the hell out of
my time and my energy. So that
came to professionally and
personally, I started putting
myself first, and honestly, for
me, the cattle. I had this
calling for years before the
burnout, it was shortly after my
daughter was born. I remember
standing in but in our kitchen
when we lived in Chicago, and I
said to my husband, I was like,
I just, I don't know what it is,
but I want to impact the one to
many. And his response was,
Well, what about just impacting
us? I was like, yes, yes, yes,
first and foremost. And I want
there to be a larger ripple. And
I don't know what that looks
like. And it was shortly after
my mom passed away from
pancreatic cancer in 2022 and
that was truly the catalyst for
me. At that point, a lot of
catalyst moments. That was the
inflection point for me to wake
up and say, Okay, I want to do
something bigger than what I'm
doing right now, something more
fulfilling, something that I
know is going to impact others
versus, you know, just slugging
away in this corporate, Soul
draining job. And that's really
where I started putting pen to
paper and taking action step by
step towards my exit of
corporate. And that exit it it
took. I remember, I met with the
spiritual mentor I had at the
time, and she did the same
thing. She is from Sweden, and
she was on, like, the board of
advisors for she worked for a
lot of big CPG companies over
there. And she says, she goes,
it can it's probably going to
take you at least two years. I
was like, at the time my mom had
just passed, it was 2022 I was
like, No way. I don't have time
for that. I mean, I don't have
the patience for it. And then,
lo and behold, two years later,
that's how much it took, because
of the internal stuff, the fear
that I had to get over, and the
the limiting beliefs, the what
ifs the shoulds the guilt, what
are people gonna think? All
those things that I had to get
over to get to the other side
took two years. Let's dive into
that to a little bit more,
because I'm sure there's a lot
of women who are in that place
where they're they know they
have a calling in something
different. There's something a
pull on their heart. But either
they're, you know, in a career
where they're making really,
really good money, and it's
really hard to make that shift.
Or they're walking through, you
know, what? How do I make those
steps to do what I want to do?
I've been there actually, and it
is a very scary place and and it
does take a while to process all
of those things that you, you go
through and it, it's, it's a lot
of fear, because where you are
is comfortable, even though it's
very uncomfortable, right? It's,
it's been a comfortable place,
and so making that shift. So
what were some of the things
that you had to work through?
You said specifically, limiting
beliefs. Yeah, it, and I've seen
this with my clients and.
Yes, I'm sure you have as well.
It's an unlearning because a lot
of the fears and limiting
beliefs that we develop are ones
that are taught by us, and it
becomes generational fears. So
the money scarcity piece, I
mean, I grew up. I was born in
the early 80s, and so, I mean,
it was very much, what I was
taught was money doesn't grow on
trees when, in fact, it actually
does. It's made of paper, but,
but it's it is that mindset of
money doesn't grow on trees, you
have to work hard in order to
make it. And so there's those
are the things that are kind of
taught and embedded in us, and
we as a society, from a success
perspective, our primary KPI of
what success looks like is $1
sign. And my whole realization
is I was making $1 sign that was
very profitable. However, I was
so poor mentally, emotionally
and physically that I wasn't
even able to enjoy the dollar
sign, right? So it really is an
unlearning of what does success
actually mean for me, not what
I've been told, not what I've
been taught, and mean for me
without the need for external
approval, so not caring about
what other people think of me
taking this leap from corporate
and betting on myself, because
that's me being true to myself,
and the not meeting of that
external validation that is a
whole unlearning, unlayering
that we go through for our own
internal transformation. I mean,
that's all internal work, right?
Yeah, it's, it's like, I'm just
envisioning. It's this multi
layer you're we're shedding,
shedding the layers of the
onion. We're unpeeling them. But
it's a journey of taking our
power back. Oh god yes, yes.
It's a journey of taking our
power back from the titles. It's
a journey from taking our power
back from the money, the income.
It's our journey from taking our
power back from the accolades
and admiration that we get for
the hard work. It's a journey of
taking our power back from the
masculine energy that we
performed that and then you have
to deal with all of the the the
limiting beliefs that pop up as
you're de layering. It's a and
so I get, I've never heard that,
you know, it'll take you two
years to make the transition,
but it's that's very true,
absolutely, yeah. And as you're
doing this, as you're going
through this transformation and
taking action towards an aligned
path, for you, it's other
people's limiting beliefs that
they start projecting onto you
as well. So it's, it's learning
to decipher between kind of,
really building a reflection
field around yourself to say,
Okay, I recognize that that is
your wound, your fear, your
limiting belief. That does not
have to be true for me, yes,
yeah. And that actually popped
up with my spouse as well. So
there was a per you know,
because they could have to walk
through a similar path of
releasing what they've always
known as their comfortable
space, even though they know
it's unhealthy for us. He had
some things that he had to he
had to walk through as well and
projecting, yeah, so true. Wow.
You could write a book.
I want to write a book one day,
but I love the fact that you
brought up this spouse, because
that is the other piece of it.
My My husband had to face his
own mother, scarcity fears as
well. Because I not to say I was
the sole breadwinner, but coming
from tech, that pays really
well. I brought in a significant
amount, more than half of the
family income. So for him, he
was seeing like, Okay, this is
going to be on me for a little
bit. And are we going to be
okay? I have my own money,
scarcity fears. And so it was
also getting working with him in
that same capacity, and honoring
his fears as well as a joint
marriage. So knowing that the
action I was taking, I mean, I
was going to go this route no
matter what, because I didn't
want to regret ever not taking
this chance on myself, but I
also had to honor his pace as
well. So there is to the point
where it doesn't keep me from
going down that path, but kind
of holding space for him in that
same capacity. Yes, it took me a
while to hold that space,
though, as he was, as my husband
was working through his many
scarcity issues, we were in the
same, same place. I've always
been the main income earner
in 33 years, for 33 years of our
marriage, and as he was working
through his money scarcity,
which was actually the beginning
of his awakening, yeah, and it
triggered the limiting belief in
me that I'm.
Just not as important as the
money. And it was an idiot,
right? It was a very interesting
dynamic, like, money is more
important than me, because it
was. It was very clear that
there was some major disconnect.
And, you know, the burnout was,
it wasn't worth the energy, but
so it was, it was cool for us
to, you know, he was playing off
his limiting beliefs, which
triggered my limiting beliefs
that I had to work through. But
it was so beautiful. Actually,
it was beautiful because we were
simultaneously working through,
you know, our own particular
limiting beliefs that were
trigger triggering each other.
Oh, that's so powerful. And the
other thing that came up for me
along this journey as it relates
to my relationship with my
husband, is I realized through
that same spiritual mentor and
the practice that I was doing
with her, what came up for me is
one of the reasons why I was so
adamant about being bringing
home a significant amount of
money and having a career that
was successful is because I
didn't want to be depending on a
man, on someone else, and that
meant that for me, being
vulnerable and dependent, even
for a period of time, I saw that
as weakness, and it scared the
living crap out of me, and a lot
of that is because Just to be
completely vulnerable and
transparent. Growing up, I grew
up in a house where my father
and around middle school age for
me developed alcoholism, and it
was very there was no abuse of
any kind, but it's just there
was a lack of sense of safety
for me, and it was just I saw
the impact that it had on my
relationship with him on his
relationship with my mother, and
I vowed to myself, I was like, I
am never gonna be in the
position where I am not able to
be independent for my own
safety. And so I saw within
myself too how that father
dynamic fear was playing out in
my marriage and the shield I was
putting up as a result. So that
was a whole nother layer of
things that I needed to work
through and process and heal in
order for me to allow myself to
be vulnerable for a period of
time. Yes, yeah, it's really
interesting. You brought up the
safety piece, because most of us
that have the hustle get that
gets to burn out, it's because
we are hustling for our safety.
We believe that's what is going
to bring us the safety. It's the
money or the accolades or
whatever it is we're seeking
that safety, and it's when
you're able to heal those that's
when you come back to your body
and feel safe in your body. My
mother
was the one that relied on men,
and I became super responsible.
I would never have a man that
would Yes, would be, you know,
that I would have to be
supported by a man that was
always, always my thing. So,
yeah, interesting. Yeah. We have
our story love ends have similar
paths. Yes, definitely. So how
did you tell me a little bit
about your coaching and what,
what you do with your clients
when it comes to burnout?
Because I know you have a
system. I do have a system. So
what I have found in my work
with clients is they come to me
with burnout. They come to me at
a point where they they just
need change in their lives. And
it may be change in how they're
usually always, change in how
their days are operating. But
the bigger thing is, either
maybe it's change in career,
maybe it's change in Job, there
is just some element of, like, I
had my Eat, Pray, Love, moment,
I'm fetal position on the floor.
Something has to change, because
I can't keep living like this.
So there is what I have found,
is through the work is it really
becomes the outcome is freedom,
and it's freedom from those
fears. It's freedom from the
cages that we're putting
ourselves in. It's freedom to
allow ourselves to to live a
version of our lives that we
want to believe is possible and
actually start embodying it, and
instead of letting the shoulds
and the guilt and the fears get
in the way, right? So it's
really alchemizing All those
bars that we and of the cage
that we put ourselves in. And
what I have found so I had been
coaching people for a while, and
the missing piece was that the
inner child work. And I actually
have, I will praise this woman's
work to one blue in the face. So
Anat Perry, a N, A, T, P, R, I
she has a whole entire
certification program and
methodology around nervous
system rewiring, somatics and
inner child healing. And what I
found is that the reason why I
went that route, to bring that
into my coaching is because,
just like you said, for these
high achieving women, the root
of what is driving to this
burnout is this little inner
child inside of all.
Of us, where, at some point in
our childhood, we learned that
in order to get safety and
acceptance and love, we need to
either. There's the people
pleaser, the endure the tunnel,
right the tunnel, just keep
piling it on. Keep my feelings,
no matter I'm gonna push it
down. There's the performance
piece, like my value, which is
very much me, was tied to my
performance and tied to what I
was the output and what I was
able to achieve from $1 sign and
a title perspective and external
validation, even, God, there's
even the from the the safety and
security. If you've ever come
across someone who is a
micromanager or just kind of
like ego driven in the way that
they lead, and they lead with
fear and dominance that is an
inner child inside that had to
fight for their safety. And so
what I have found is in my
working with these women in
corporate who are experiencing
burnout, the freaking root of
all of that is the way that they
found and seek safety as a
childhood in their childhood. So
what we do, using a huge piece
of a knots method, is, which is
her TCS mastery certification,
is it's allowing us to it brings
us back into the body, and we,
first and foremost, we really
start to connect to our full
breadth of emotions, because so
often we are putting so many
people before our own, and we
aren't really allowing ourselves
to feel or give airtime to the
unpleasant emotion. I was a
freaking champion of doing this.
I was always the optimistic,
bright, sunny, everything,
rainbows, and if I felt sad, I'd
give it air time. Even after my
mom passed away, I'd give it air
time for 15 minutes, and I'm
like, All right, good cameo
appearance. Now let's go back to
the star of the show, which is
the smiles and sunshine. So it's
allowing ourselves to feel this
on these unpleasant emotions and
fully express them. And through
that, we're able to get it to
the root and tie it to a memory
from childhood on where we may
have first started experiencing
this and learning this, and it
may have been something that we
learned to find safety as an
action, or maybe it's something
we learned in we saw Mom or Dad
do this. And so it's really
rewiring those memories and
giving ourselves what we needed
in that moment. And at the
source of all of it is finding
safety within ourselves and not
finding safety externally, not
finding like feeling like we
have to fight. But it's all
about finding that sense of
safety and security within
ourselves. So that's kind of the
journey that we go on, and
that's been the missing piece,
is that inner child? Yes, so How
old were you when you was I,
when I do my inner child, when
you started developing safety
mechanisms? Oh, let's see. So
through my own healing work that
I've done with this, my inner
child learned, probably around
where I was seven or eight about
the performance piece. I mean, I
was a kid who was creating her
own chore list, like because I
liked the structure, I liked
being able to check the box and
see that, and that gave me a
sense of value. And so that
absolutely carries into my
adulthood and how I showed up in
my career. Yeah, I was, it was
three or four. Three or four. So
my parents got a divorce. And
the timeline, I'm not sure
exactly when this happened. So I
was at my father's new
apartment, and he he left the
apartment, I think, to go get
ice or snack at the snack
machine, something like that.
And by the time that he got back
to the apartment, I had
completely organized. Now think
about this as a three or four
year old, completely organized
his bedside tables, like
organized them. And I didn't
know that until I was 40, when
he explained that to me, and it
was like, Okay, this makes total
sense, because my go to is to
organize when I'm stressed,
yeah, because it's a sense of
control. Yeah, yep, yes. And
that's the thing that so Stephen
Kessler, which a lot of a knots
program is on, and that I
educate my clients on too. And
it is if there is any book to
read, to learn about yourself,
Stephen Kessler's five
personality patterns, because
all premise is between the ages
of zero to nine years old.
That's when we develop these
safety patterns. And all of us
develop one to two of the five.
And what you're describing is
what is called the rigid
pattern. I run the rigid pattern
as well. And basically it's
when, how we identify what our
pattern is is it's when we are
in a state of overwhelm, what is
the first default that we go to?
So it's almost, if you think of
and not talks about a lot, like
your nervous system has two
bouncers and.
Is when you go into a state of
overwhelm, the first bouncer
comes in, and maybe it's the
restructuring. It's like, I'm
going to restructure. I need to
have control order that's going
to make me feel safe. And then
if that doesn't work, and we
still feel overwhelmed, then
that second one comes in, and
for me, it's the merging comp.
So our merging pattern and the
merging is all about wanting
that connection, and wanting to
fix things, wanting to save
other people and really like
it's all that external
connection. I need to have that
connection with you in order for
me to feel safe. So that's it's
really fascinating, because
those patterns, once my clients
learn what their patterns are,
and I can say this from my own
experience too. It's eye
opening, because one, you get to
a little bit more familiar with
how you operate. And then two,
the beautiful part about it is
there's the when you're in
overwhelm and you're running the
patterns once you do the healing
work, and you start to get into
the familiar, familiarity of
operating in a regulated nervous
system, then you start to
emanate the gifts of the
pattern. And every single
pattern has a gift. So there may
be, you know what I was
describing with the merging it's
like the external, the gifts of
that. So if you think Oprah
Winfrey, she's a merging
pattern. It's all about, like,
just joy and love, and, you
know, like this, the type of
people who just being around
them, people feel like alive,
and it's magnetic. So there's
this beautiful, like, I mean,
there's these gifts that sit
within each of the patterns and
the the shadow part of it is the
work. Yeah, I love that so much.
No, yeah, I do too. I do too. I
highly recommend that book. I
will pick it up, for sure. I am
I'm definitely always about
learning. So now that you're
feel safety in your body, wow,
what does that look like? Oh, my
God, it has been opening doors
in so many ways. So for me,
safety within my body means
truly speaking my voice
unapologetically. So, I mean, I
go on social media a lot. You
know, we met on LinkedIn, so
it's it's going on and posting
about stuff that might feel
edgy, but I feel empowered and
comfortable and safe within my
own skin that I don't need the
external validation. If I get
four likes on it, I don't care.
So there's that component. Is
allowing myself to show up
authentically, not worrying
about what other people are
going to think. Yes. So
powerful, yes. And then the
second piece that's been really
powerful too is just tapping
into the
strength that is within the
feminine. So for me, growing up,
I grew up around a lot of
masculine, even my mother very
masculine, so I was always
trying to fit in with the
masculine, and I saw feminine as
weakness. Yes. So one of the
things that has really happened
for me as I tap into my sense of
safety is I'm seeing that my
strength and my power is
actually from the feminine, the
masculine supports it. I need
the structure, I need, you know,
action to to support the flow of
this energy. But my freaking
power is in my feminine and so
feeling safe to be vulnerable,
feeling safe to be in ease and
trust and just sensuality like
it's, it's a whole nother ball
game. It's a whole other ball
game. Yes, completely different,
and it's really interesting. I
don't know if you made the like,
I shifted out of my masculine
and went way over here to the
feminine, yes. And it was like,
Oh, great. I gotta do something
to make myself feel a little
productive here. But I was just
way over there, and just like,
Ooh, I kind of, I really like
this. And it it's make, it's
making that move back to, you
know, a little more, little more
balanced. And she did the same.
Oh, god yes. So when I left
corporate, I went, I was out in
the flower fields, dancing,
swirling, doing anything
feminine I could, doing all the
spiritual workshops and
awakenings and all that stuff.
And then what I found was I
actually started missing the
masculine, because it was a part
of me that, just like you said,
you started to find the need,
obviously, and wanting to
embrace the balance of both, but
also honoring that the feminine
is that's my source of power.
Yeah, my masculine has its power
in its own ways too, for sure.
Yeah, I had a little bit of fear
though, of going back. Yeah, it
was a little bit of fear, like,
I don't want to go there. And
the number of women in business
that I hear.
Saying that like I don't want to
build my business like this ever
again. I don't want to build
another business the way I built
the one that I did. And we've
all had that experience with not
even recognizing there's a
softer side. There's the the
feminine side that is the
surrender. Piece is the faith
and trust. Piece is the Wisdom
is the creative and the you have
to have that masculine too.
You've got to have the
discipline and the action that
there's a beautiful just
learning to be in both. And
sometimes you've got to be a
little more masculine and then
swing back into your feminine.
But it's changed everything in
my marriage, same, yes, and even
the the vulnerability piece that
I was talking about before, on
not wanting to be dependent,
it's, it's a lot, the softening
that I've been able to
experience and give my husband
was has been a game changer. And
I had so I went on that retreat,
and this is a vulnerable share,
but we were doing kirtan, and it
was which I loved the music, and
Krishna Das is, it was one of
his songs, but he started
singing at the end of it. And it
was like, I want to know what
love is, and I want you to show
me. And I just pictured my
husband standing there in the
courtyard, and I pictured me
singing that to him, and then
all of a sudden, I saw him
singing it
to me. Oh, I just started
bawling because I didn't realize
me cry I was putting up. I had
put up such a shield around my
heart and my like need to feel
safe in my independence that I
wasn't I goosebumps as I am
talking about this, that I
wasn't giving him all of me. I
wasn't letting him be loved as
fully as he deserves to. And so
that's in the softening and the
surrendering too, that because
I've felt more safe in my body
to allow myself to tear those
walls down. Yes, for me, it was
the receivership, like letting
down the shield and the sword to
be able to receive from him. It
was something that I was always
complaining about, something I
always wanted, you know, blaming
him for, you know, why don't you
touch my hand? Why don't you
hold my hand? Why don't you do
all these things? And the
reality was he couldn't, because
I had so much of a shield around
me, and it was opening up to
being when I felt safe in my
body, and my husband definitely
makes me feel safe to be able to
receive and that's a game
changer. And so many of us as
women are that is one of the
areas that is trouble the most
with, and not even there's a
piece of it from us, like a
safety on wanting to be
independent, right in the
vulnerability, and which is very
both you and I, it sounds like
I've felt. And there's the piece
of it that being taught to
always put other people first,
and that, you know, the
receiving has to be earned.
There's that whole entire
unlearning as well. There's
whole unlearning there. And, you
know,
yeah, there, you know, the
bedroom used to be a check check
box for me, yeah, yes, yeah.
Okay, got that done. All right,
what's next? And it has when
you're in your feminine you
learn to receive and you feel
safe. It's, it's a, definitely a
different experience. And I just
want to plant that seed for all
the women that are listening,
because if you haven't learned
that receivership and to be safe
with yourself, that's definitely
something that needs to be
worked through. Oh, God,
absolutely, yeah, and that's the
I Will from my own personal
experience, is in that ability
to receive that's where I have
also found more power within
myself.
Yeah,
it's like, it opens up my eyes
to, like, just that freaking
power that is the feminine. Yes,
I get what you're talking about,
sister.
Oh, this has been so good. I
could talk to you for hours and
hours. So I'm sure that our
conversation is going to go way
beyond this podcast. I hope so
love for you to share how people
can get in touch with you, those
who are like, Okay, I need to
talk to this woman. Oh, I would
love to thank you. So I
primarily am on LinkedIn so you
can find me. Jessica Lindbergh,
my website is Jess Berg
coaching.com
and please, I am a human. I love
disconnection. So even if it's,
you know, not, there doesn't
have to be some type of, come
join my program, which is
awesome. It's amazing. It's
powerful. The rise collective.
It's a group of women supporting
one another, and then we go
through these healing seats. But
it's all.
Also just about the deep
connection with other women. And
just like even in talking to
you, it's the more connection we
can have, and it's the more
women connecting to and
supporting one another. It's
just, it's powerful. It's and so
please find me, connect with me.
And yeah, yeah. And I'm excited
to for you to write your book.
It's going to be amazing me. Too
many seed for you. So thank you,
yeah, yeah. So beautiful. Thank
you for joining me. You're
amazing, and I'm so blessed that
we connected. So blessed all the
feelings mutual, yeah? All
right, everybody. I will see you
next week. Take care.
I'm honored to have you as part
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