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The stories from the places where people gather.
Hey, everyone. Welcome to Gathered Here, the podcast that spills all of the behind the scenes tea on the places where people gather. Because let's be real, being a venue owner is not for the faint of heart. Have you ever wondered how a crumbling old barn became the spot for dream weddings or how a plain patch of dirt turned into a fairytale venue? Well, spoiler alert, it wasn't magic.
Speaker 1:It was blood, sweat, and probably a lot of tears. And trust me, what you see on Instagram and TikTok, I mean, it's cute. Right? But it is so far from reality. We're talking sleepless nights, meltdowns of epic proportions, and stories so wild, you will swear that we made them up, except we didn't.
Speaker 1:And just when you think the hard part is over, you know, opening the venue, it's time to actually do the events. And man, that is where the absolute real drama begins. Like catering trucks exploding, septic system catastrophes, MIA grooms. Yes. That has all happened.
Speaker 1:It is pure and utter chaos. I'm your host, Dana Cadwell, and I'm here to take you inside the beautifully chaotic, occasionally disastrous, and totally unhinged world of venue ownership. Buckle up. It's gonna be one hell of a ride. And we are back with another Quick Chat today.
Speaker 1:We are talking about our conversation with Ian Ramirez from two weeks ago. Last week, we talked about being complacent in all the different areas of our life, and which was his piece of advice was don't be complacent. And today I want to talk about something that's a little bit hard to talk about. But, you know, what is this if we're not gonna talk about hard things? Right?
Speaker 1:So this was... We were talking... This is when I was talking to Ian, and he was... We were talking about taking over... He got equity stake into his family's business.
Speaker 1:And he... Once he became an actual owner, a co owner, he said that he really wanted to just run with it. Like, really wanted to implement some changes and create some growth. He had so many good ideas. And I asked if that created friction.
Speaker 1:And he said, absolutely, it does. And he said something. He said, It's hard for someone to look at something a business. And because they are very much like, Oh my God, that's my baby. This is something that they started.
Speaker 1:And it's... And for them, it's balance is respecting what has been the foundation before you step in. Oh, I'm just gonna sit with that for a second because I felt that on both sides. One, selling a venue and watching how it evolves afterwards, and two, walking into a venue with the foundation already set. And I think I'm in a unique position where I can so clearly see both sides of it.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about it. Let's talk about both sides. How about the first one? Let's talk about... Let's talk about the easy one.
Speaker 1:Okay, the easy one to me is walking into a foundation somebody has already set. Both venues that I have purchased are kind of in a phase of, you know, needing some improvements, whether that's like processes systems, whether it's actual physical, like construction improvements, you know, what that looks like. And it's been really easy to want to walk in and change everything. It's been the first instinct is to go in and be like, okay, we're gonna do this, this, this, this, this differently. And there were some things I changed right away, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 1:But there were some things I had to take a step back and say, I don't understand why we do this. Maybe I need to pause and see why. And there were some things I didn't pause. And I should have, I should have just paused and understood the foundation a little bit better before I jumped all in and none more clearly than my venue, the Graham Mill. I did not understand fully how it was run, how it operated.
Speaker 1:I had a very burnt out employee that I inherited who was doing all the things all the time. And so my first inclination was, let me get them on stable footing and stable ground. And I don't think that was wrong. Don't get me wrong. It wasn't like the wrong idea.
Speaker 1:But my only knowledge base of doing that is to hire, to hire, to hire well, to create the infrastructure, to create the support. And all of that is very expensive, as we all know. And I took off way too much at the beginning that I could actually handle financially. And so then I felt like I was treading water a little bit of like trying to figure out how to make this work, and how to to then like, okay, I made these promises, I made this system, and I've made this, you know, process, and it's not working, right? And it's...
Speaker 1:There's a lot of reasons, and I'm not going get into a lot of the reasons why it wasn't working. There's a lot of reasons why it wasn't working. And really, I think if I had taken a step and respected the foundation instead of questioned the foundation of why of how it started, I probably would have understood it a little bit more and would have made some different decisions. Would I still be where I am today? Probably.
Speaker 1:I probably would still had to have come to the same conclusion, but I think it would have been a little less expensive, which is the name of the game, right? And so, but I think when you walk into something that, and I can say this for me specifically, when you walk into something that you have built and it's yours, there's a different... I'm not saying I wasn't... I'm not more invested in this than I was in my last business, but there is a different level of weight when it's a 100% on your shoulders. I also feel like I walked in probably...
Speaker 1:I mean, I can say this. I'm like... I mean, you know me. I'm the most self deprecating person in the world. A little thinking, Oh, I got this, this is easy.
Speaker 1:It's gonna be simple. And I think for me, the biggest lesson I had to learn was that just because I was successful one place doesn't mean it's an automatic, like assumption that I'm gonna be successful somewhere else. If you make that assumption, then you're gonna fail, right? It's like you have to walk into it. It kind of goes a little back to what we talked about last week.
Speaker 1:You have to walk into it being curious and say, look, I can be successful because I know these things. I can be successful because I know how to pivot. I know the basic operational tasks. I know, like I learned I'm five years ahead of where I was when I started The Bradford. Right?
Speaker 1:But still at year five, it wasn't like we were rolling in it. It wasn't like everything was perfect. Right? It takes time to build, to create, you know, the the business you're looking for. So for me, it was recognizing that just because I did it this way before doesn't mean it's what's going fit into this space.
Speaker 1:And it's been so enlightening. And honestly, I think it has made me such a better entrepreneur. I threw the rule book out the window, truly. I had a lot of very deep conversations with myself and some people on my team and said, Look, we're gonna have to pivot again, and we're gonna have to look at this and see how, you know, see how we're gonna make this work. And I can't put the lens of, Oh, well, the Bradford, we did this, and the Bradford...
Speaker 1:Like, that has got to leave my vocabulary. And it has left my vocabulary because that serves me none. Like, it serves me in no way at all to consistently compare one thing to another. Right? It's like apples and oranges.
Speaker 1:They're not even comparable in any way. And not because one's better than the other, but it's because they're just so different. They're not even in the same market. They don't even attract the same client. Like I'm not a competitor at all.
Speaker 1:So to me, it's, if you're looking at something as like, oh, if I was, if I had bought like the Bradford's biggest competitor, I probably could structure it a lot like how I structured the Bradford, right? But it's not because it's such a different thing. So I think for me, it's respecting the foundation of a... If you're walking into a business that's already been running and successful on some stretch of the imagination is respecting that foundation. Now, my other venue, McAllister, I it's it's literally a startup.
Speaker 1:I mean, we inherited nothing. It was ran to the ground basically. And, you know, so I don't think there was much of a foundation to respect in that way at all. And in fact, it was really having to dismantle that foundation to tear it out and then put new stuff down, especially when it came to the vendors, like the vendors trusting us again, that we are partners and that we are inclusive and that we are, you know, there to serve them. Like that was the foundation that we had to literally rip out and then create a new base.
Speaker 1:And for me, was hard for that was the timing of it all. Like the time it took to start laying those bricks again, and you want to lay them correctly. You don't want to just throw them out there and then try to manically put them together. You want to like consciously think about I'm going to put this here and this here. Like that intentionality took a lot of time.
Speaker 1:And I don't regret that at all. Not a single ounce of regret for it, but I was not prepared for the the amount of time that it took to to get that foundation in place. And now I feel like I feel like we've set it up for really great success. And so now it's like, okay, now we're going to start now we're going to really take off. I can see that I can see that the hard work paying off, but it definitely took some really hard conversations of saying like, look, we're just not going to do it this way.
Speaker 1:And we're going to start this over. Like, we're going to dig this up, right? So then the other, I guess the third kind of concept of this is when you are the one that has laid the foundation and you are watching somebody else do other things with it. Like, it's really interesting. It's such a lesson in letting go, and it's a lesson in growth.
Speaker 1:Like, I I do not wanna go through what I went through, and I do not recommend it to anybody, like, zero out of 10 stars, but, like... Or zero out of five stars, I guess you could say. Whatever. Do not recommend. But if I was to look at a silver lining of anything, I honestly feel like the growth that I've had in the in the last two years is more than I've had in the last, like, eight.
Speaker 1:And not... And I think mostly positive. I mean, there's definitely been some things I'm like, oh, I probably shouldn't... Probably would have handled that a little bit differently or whatever. But, like, for me, it's really taught me so much of like humble...
Speaker 1:Humbleness, what pride really is, belief in myself, letting go, fear, like not being afraid of things. I was just recently at an ACE meeting, and and it was like... It wasn't the first one since I've been back, not at all, but it was probably the one where we had the most time because it was mostly all networking. So like, I had the most time time to talk to people. And I was...
Speaker 1:I got home and Sam's like, you're kind of in a mood. I was like, I am kind of in a mood. You know, I do feel a little bit off kilter. And I said, but you know what? You know why?
Speaker 1:Because it feels like, if you've ever had this happen, it feels like you just saw your ex boyfriend walking around with a prettier version of you, right? Or maybe not of you, but like it's just a prettier girlfriend, or if you want put that in any context, right? Your ex is out with a more attractive, more accomplished person. Right? And they've moved on.
Speaker 1:And there is this feeling like where you wanna go up to that person and be like, but did you know that the reason why this person is how they are is because of what I did, right? Because of what I've created. And there's just this feeling of like having to let go of that ownership piece of it, I guess you could say. But when he said that about, you know, going in and recognizing, okay, these people started it, respect the foundation that's been built, it really, it just hit me in a way like that's how I felt. And at the end of the day, he will probably tell you the same thing.
Speaker 1:He wasn't disrespecting the foundation and he wasn't being disrespectful of the Foundation. He was taking something that he had ownership of and looked at it through a different lens, saw a different opportunity, and wanted to capitalize on it. And so there's a part of me that, like, really can filter that last interaction that I had and then like, okay, how I feel and maybe where you feel like, oh, I can't believe they're, you know, moving on and... Or I can't believe they're changing this or I can't believe that. Like, there's this certain part of you that just has to recognize that it's not because they don't respect what you've built or what you did or how you got there.
Speaker 1:It's just them putting their own spin on it, and there's nothing wrong with that. And I did get there eventually after, like, just processing it, whatnot, but this just kinda, like, reaffirmed that. But I I just say that because I am in a... I know lots of friends and lots of people that have sold their venues and are are in the process of it and are going through it. And I will tell you, it is the hardest part.
Speaker 1:It is the hardest part, especially if you built it from the ground up, especially if you're the founder to see somebody else in your space. And it's not even like they're doing something different than what you would do. Right? There... That's one thing, but it's...
Speaker 1:It feels like you're being erased in a lot of ways. And and I can't say that isn't what's happening. I think that there is a certain amount of erasing and it's... But I don't think that it's negative. Like, it's not a bad thing.
Speaker 1:It's just somebody taking a foundation and taking parts of the foundation. Maybe they're ripping up, like just like I did, maybe they're ripping up parts of foundation that they don't like, and they're putting new ones down, or maybe they're, you know, maybe they're on the level two of the foundation, but like the pylons are still there, right? Like however that is when you bring somebody on to your team, right? Or when you sell your business and somebody's going in and trying to make a change and do something different, I think our first reaction is to say exactly that, Respect what I've built. Respect what I've done.
Speaker 1:At the end of the day, I think the question is, are there cracks in my foundation? Are there things that actually need to change? Are there things that I should be paying attention to? Is this foundation actually solid? And when you start asking yourself those really hard hitting, tough questions, they're not easy, but I can go back and say, was the foundation of the Bradford perfect?
Speaker 1:Absolutely not. I could probably give you five places where I'm like, this foundation's really shitty, and I would actually dig this up fully and then put something new down. Or I would really check the cracks over here because I'm not sure this is gonna withstand the test of time. And when you can kind of pull yourself out of that and really ask yourself that hard question, you can see how sometimes you need to keep it in place and sometimes you need to rip it all up. And it's no reflection on you.
Speaker 1:It's no reflection on previous owners or founders. It's just a foundation that was built in the time that it was built and the circumstances and the information that was given and the finances that were available. All of these things were built for a specific reason and a specific set of circumstances. And I think for us as owners and founders of spaces and businesses, we have to not be afraid to start really looking at those foundations and determining if they're good, if they're bad, if they need to be replaced, if they need to stay. And I don't know, I just thought that was like such a really healthy way to look at it.
Speaker 1:And I, and I really resonate with it because like I said, I see it on both sides, like coming into a foundation already set and then having to give up something. But I really, really, really love that. And I hope that for anyone in here who's building something and who's going through something hard where they might have to give something up, recognizing that when things change, it doesn't mean that no one's respecting what you've built or what you've done. It's literally somebody with a different eyes, different perspective, and moving it into the direction it should move into. But thank you so much for joining me for this quick chat.
Speaker 1:I hope something here resonated with you and was helpful, and I will see you guys next week with a whole new interview. Thank you so much for joining us for Gathered Here. To learn more about my new properties, be sure to follow us at McAllister Leftwich and at the Grand Mill. If you wanna stay in the loop for all things hustle and gather, the mini masterclass, or our mastermind group, be sure to follow us on Instagram at hustle and gather. And for updates to the podcast and see all the fun things we're gonna be doing this year, be sure to follow at Gathered Here podcast.
Speaker 1:I'm your host, Amy Cavill. Join us next time on Gathered Here.