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Brand. Business. Becoming. with Bonnie Wicks is the podcast for entrepreneurs ready to build wildly profitable businesses that honour their authentic voice and nervous system.
If you're tired of playing small, copying other people's strategies, and building a business that burns you out, this show is for you. We explore what it really takes to create magnetic authority without performing who you think you should be.
Each episode blends high-level strategy with embodiment work, helping you:
ā¢ Build a personal brand that attracts premium clients
ā¢ Create offers that feel authentic and command top prices
ā¢ Develop unshakeable confidence in your unique voice ā¢ Scale without sacrificing your soul or sanity
Hosted by Bonnie Wicks, brand and embodiment coach for self-led entrepreneurs who refuse to choose between profit and purpose.
Ready to burn what's false and rise in your truth? Subscribe now.
Brand. Business. Becoming. - Episode 3: "The Self-Image Revolution"
How to rewire your mental operating system for unstoppable success
What if your business could be wildly profitable AND deeply true? What if you could attract premium clients by being exactly who you are, instead of who you think you should be?
Welcome to Brand. Business. Becoming. with Bonnie Wicks. This is where we build energy-aligned empires - businesses that fill your soul, change the world, and give you the peace and space you desire.
Ready to burn what's false, rise in your truth, and lead with your fire? Let's dive in.
There's a line from an NF song that hits me every single time: "Every day when you get up and think you'll never be great, you'll never be great, not because you're not, but the hate will always find a way to cut you up and murder your faith."
That line? It's everything wrong with how we approach success. We're so busy fighting the voice in our head that tells us we're not enough, we forget to question why that voice exists in the first place.
But here's what most people don't realize: That voice isn't just random self-doubt. It's your self-image - your internal operating system - doing exactly what it's been programmed to do. Protect you from stepping outside the identity it thinks is safe.
I want to tell you about a book that completely reinforced how I think about success, failure, and everything in between. It's called Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, and it holds the key to understanding why some people seem to effortlessly achieve their goals while others stay stuck.
If you've ever felt like you're sabotaging your own success... If you've ever wondered why you can learn all the strategies but still struggle to implement them... If you're ready to stop fighting yourself and start working WITH your psychology instead of against it..
Ok so firstly, lets just have a little caveat. This is not a comprehensive chat about self identity and expanding our identity - that would take hoursā¦ fill a whole book. It really requires a multi-modality approach. This is more of a taster - about why our sense of self is so important to life and business and success and it is mainly through the leans of Pscycho-cybernetics - a book I just finished reading. Ok so lets really get into it.
Dr. Maltz discovered that you will always act like the sort of person you conceive yourself to be. Not only this, but you literally cannot act otherwise, in spite of all your conscious efforts or willpower.
Think of your self-image like the thermostat in your house. If it's set to 20 degrees, and someone opens a window making it colder, the heating kicks in. If someone lights a fire making it warmer, the air conditioning turns on. The thermostat doesn't care about external circumstances - it just maintains the temperature it's programmed for.
Your self-image works exactly the same way.
The Success Thermostat:
Set yourself as "someone who makes $50K" ā You'll unconsciously sabotage opportunities that could take you to $100K
See yourself as "not a public speaker" ā You'll find ways to avoid stages, even when they could transform your business
Believe you're "bad with money" ā You'll make financial decisions that prove this belief true
For years, I had a self-image of being "the behind-the-scenes person." I was brilliant at making other people look good, but terrible at promoting myself. Even when I started my business, I would literally whisper my business name when people asked what I did.
My thermostat was set to "invisible helper," so every time an opportunity came up to be visible - podcast interviews, speaking gigs, media features - I would find excuses to say no. My self-image was protecting me from stepping outside my programmed identity.
Add this self-identity on top of a dysregulated nervous system and no amount of willpower or visualization could convince me it was okay to step into the limelight.
As Dr. Maltz put it: "Positive thinking cannot be used effectively as a patch or a crutch to the same old self-image."
Now Here's where most personal development gets it wrong. They tell you to affirm your way to a new identity. But Dr. Maltz discovered something crucial: The self-image is changed not by intellect alone, but by 'experiencing.'
You can read every business book, take every course, memorize every strategy. But until you EXPERIENCE yourself as successful, your self-image won't budge.
The Learning vs. Experiencing Gap:
You can acquire information from reading a book
But to experience, you must creatively respond to information
Information is passive. Experience is active
When you experience, new neural patterns are recorded in your brain
Let's take the "bad with money" identity. It's not enough to learn more about money management. You need to actively participate in GOOD money management, you must get the PROOF you are good at money management and good with money to be able to confirm and set your new identity.
The Historical Context We Need to Understand: Now, this book was written in 1960, so we MUST also note the paradigms of that time and how they influenced the book. Two major things shaped this work:
First, behaviorism was one of the main models for psychology. This assumed a very basic model of human behavior - that we were simply conditioned to act in a certain way through reinforcement and punishments.
Second, computers were making headlines. And computers at that time were very machine-like. We started to link machines to the way our brains work. This link still lingers today.
So while Dr. Maltz's insights are incredibly useful, we need to understand them within the context of how much psychology LACKED NUANCE back then. We're not machines. We're complex humans with nervous systems, trauma responses, and cultural conditioning.
So the book talks about two systems we have running simultaneously in our minds - what he called the Success Mechanism and the Failure Mechanism.
Think of these as two different operating systems that can take control of your brain:
Your Success Mechanism is like having an internal GPS that:
Automatically moves you toward your goals
Helps you notice opportunities
Makes you resilient when you face setbacks
Gives you creative solutions to problems
Makes you feel confident and capable
Your Failure Mechanism is like having an internal security system that:
Scans for threats and reasons why you might fail
Focuses on what could go wrong
Makes you feel inadequate compared to others
Convinces you to play it safe and avoid risk
Keeps you stuck in familiar but limiting patterns
Here's the crucial part: Both systems are always available to you. They're not fighting each other - they're both trying to protect you, just in different ways.
Your Success Mechanism wants to move you toward growth and achievement. Your Failure Mechanism wants to keep you safe from rejection, failure, and disappointment.
The problem is, most of us don't realize we have a choice about which system is running the show.
Dr. Maltz found that when people operate from their Success Mechanism, they naturally exhibit what he called the S.U.C.C.E.S.S. qualities - they have a clear sense of direction, they understand themselves and situations better, they show courage in the face of challenges.
But when the Failure Mechanism takes over, people experience what he termed F.A.I.L.U.R.E. patterns - frustration, insecurity, uncertainty, that feeling of being disconnected from others.
The key insight? You can learn to recognize which mechanism is running and consciously switch to the other one.
The best thing about this... if you notice your FAILURE mechanism running, then see this as a divine redirection. Not something to feel shame about. Not something to just hurry to switch off. But something to examine, get curious about, and realize that these failure mechanisms are a great big sign asking for change.
Let me show you exactly how this played out in my own life...
I was at a business retreat in Bali, and on the second day, I found myself sitting at a table with entrepreneurs casually mentioning their $50-80K months. Me? I was doing $5K months.
The Failure Mechanism kicked in HARD. I felt like a complete fraud. I literally said out loud, "Who was I to sit at this table?"
I felt all the failure mechanism thoughts and patterns:
Insecurity: "I don't belong here"
Loneliness: "I'm disconnected from these successful people"
Uncertainty: "Should I even be here?"
Frustration: "Why am I so far behind everyone else?"
I made an off-hand comment about feeling like an imposter, and the group picked up on my spiraling thoughts. We talked about this feeling in the group. I realized that my self-image was set to "$5K person" and being around "$50K people" was triggering my internal thermostat to reject the experience.
It wasn't about the money. It was about what the money represented to me: worthiness, success, belonging in spaces like this.
Now, I used to think energetics was a load of shit. But when I left that retreat and consciously stepped into my power and self-worth - when I FELT like I deserved to be at that table - everything changed.
Business took off. I attracted higher-paying clients. I attracted MORE clients.
I changed my self-identity which changed my reality. And my failure mechanism was just as important because it showed me that I needed to change my self-identity if I truly wanted to claim the next level of success.
But what about those times when you don't have a table of incredible people to talk through your success mechanism with? Well, this is where I keep a Pep Talk folder on my phone.
This is where I screenshot every love note, every piece of hype, every bit of PROOF that contradicts my old self-image:
Client wins
Kind messages
Revenue screenshots
Testimonials
Even small victories
When the Failure Mechanism tries to kick in, I pull out the receipts. I show my brain the evidence that my new identity is real and valid.
This works because your brain needs concrete evidence, not just positive thinking, to update your self-image. You're literally retraining your internal thermostat with proof.
So how do you actually start shifting your self-image? Here's what I've learned works, built on Dr. Maltz's principles but updated for our modern understanding of psychology:
Step 1: The Current State Audit Ask yourself: "How do I currently see myself in relation to my goals?"
Common limiting identities I see:
"I'm not a salesperson" (so you avoid promoting your offers)
"I'm not tech-savvy" (so you stay stuck with outdated systems)
"I'm not a leader" (so you avoid stepping into visibility)
"I'm not good with money" (so you underprice and overspend)
Write down the specific identity that's holding you back. Get honest about the story you've been telling yourself.
Step 2: The Evidence Flip Your brain has been collecting evidence to support your current self-image for years. Now we're going to flip the script.
For every piece of "evidence" that supports your limiting identity, find counter-evidence:
"I'm not a salesperson" ā "But I convinced my friend to try that restaurant I love"
"I'm not tech-savvy" ā "But I figured out that complicated app last month"
"I'm not a leader" ā "But my colleague always asks for my opinion on projects"
Step 3: The Micro-Experience Method Create tiny experiences that align with your desired identity. The key is starting SO small that your current self-image doesn't resist.
Want to see yourself as a thought leader?
Don't start with a TED talk
Start with one insightful comment on LinkedIn that adds value to the conversation
Want to see yourself as confident?
Don't start with a huge presentation
Start by speaking up once in your next meeting with a helpful suggestion
Want to see yourself as someone who charges premium prices?
Don't jump straight to doubling your rates
Start by adding one small premium element to your current offer
Step 4: The Future Self Visualization Dr. Maltz was a pioneer in visualization, but not the fluffy "imagine your dreams" kind - the scientific, specific kind.
Spend 10 minutes daily visualizing yourself AS the person who has already achieved your goal:
How do they speak in meetings?
How do they make decisions when faced with challenges?
How do they handle setbacks or criticism?
What does a typical day look like for them?
How do they feel in their body when they wake up?
Step 5: The Identity Bridge Create a bridge between who you are now and who you're becoming. Use language like:
"I'm becoming someone who..."
"I'm learning to..."
"I'm developing the skill of..."
"I'm in the process of..."
This gives your brain permission to be imperfect while still moving toward your new identity. It honors where you are while creating space for growth.
Before we wrap up, let me warn you about the most common traps people fall into when working with self-image:
Trap 1: The Perfection Prison Thinking you need to completely transform overnight. Your self-image has been decades in the making - give it time to shift. Progress, not perfection.
Trap 2: The Comparison Quicksand Measuring yourself against someone else's standard instead of your own growth. As Dr. Maltz said: "When we judge ourselves against another person's norm, we always come out second best."
Trap 3: The All-or-Nothing Fallacy Thinking one setback means you're back to square one. Your self-image is like a muscle - it gets stronger with consistent training, not perfection.
Trap 4: The Surface-Level Fix Trying to change your results without changing your identity. Your actions will always align with your self-image, not your goals.
The Truth About Change: You don't need to become a completely different person. You need to become more of who you already are at your core, minus the limiting beliefs that have been programmed into you by society, family, or past experiences.
Here's what I want you to remember: Your current self-image isn't the truth about you - it's just the story you've been telling yourself based on past experiences.
The beautiful thing about being human is that you get to rewrite that story, starting today.
Your Action Steps:
Identify one limiting identity that's holding you back
Find three pieces of counter-evidence
Create one micro-experience this week that aligns with who you're becoming
Start a "Pep Talk" folder with your own evidence
Use bridge language to give yourself permission to grow
Remember that line from NF: "Every day when you get up and think you'll never be great, you'll never be great, not because you're not, but the hate will always find a way to cut you up and murder your faith."
The hate - that internal voice of limitation - only has power if you let it program your self-image.
You have everything you need to succeed already within you. Sometimes you just need to update your internal operating system to access it.
I'm Bonnie Wicks, this is Brand. Business. Becoming., and I'll see you next Tuesday with an episode on WTF is Messaging. Your 101 guide to understanding messaging and how to use it to create magnetic AF copy and content.
SUBSTACK
The Self-Image Expansion: How to Rewire Your Mental Operating System for Unstoppable Success
Why some entrepreneurs effortlessly scale while others stay stuckāand the surprising psychology behind breakthrough results
There's a line from an NF song that stops me cold every time: "Every day when you get up and think you'll never be great, you'll never be great, not because you're not, but the hate will always find a way to cut you up and murder your faith."
That line captures everything wrong with how we approach success. We're so busy fighting the voice in our head that tells us we're not enough, we forget to question why that voice exists in the first place.
But here's what most entrepreneurs don't realize: That voice isn't just random self-doubt. It's your self-imageāyour internal operating systemādoing exactly what it's been programmed to do. Protect you from stepping outside the identity it thinks is safe.
I want to share a discovery that completely changed how I understand success, failure, and why some people seem to effortlessly achieve their goals while others stay stuck. It comes from a book called Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, and it holds the key to unlocking your next level of business success.
If you've ever felt like you're sabotaging your own success... If you've ever wondered why you can learn all the strategies but still struggle to implement them... If you're ready to stop fighting yourself and start working WITH your psychology instead of against it...
This will change everything.
The Thermostat That Controls Your Success
Here's what Dr. Maltz discovered that revolutionized psychology: You will always act like the sort of person you conceive yourself to be. Not only this, but you literally cannot act otherwise, in spite of all your conscious efforts or willpower.
Think of your self-image like the thermostat in your house. If it's set to 20 degrees, and someone opens a window making it colder, the heating kicks in. If someone lights a fire making it warmer, the air conditioning turns on. The thermostat doesn't care about external circumstancesāit just maintains the temperature it's programmed for.
Your self-image works exactly the same way.
The Success Thermostat in Action:
Set yourself as "someone who makes $50K" ā You'll unconsciously sabotage opportunities that could take you to $100K
See yourself as "not a public speaker" ā You'll find ways to avoid stages, even when they could transform your business
Believe you're "bad with money" ā You'll make financial decisions that prove this belief true
My Vulnerable Truth
For years, I had a self-image of being "the behind-the-scenes person." I was brilliant at making other people look good, but terrible at promoting myself. Even when I started my business, I would literally whisper my business name when people asked what I did.
My thermostat was set to "invisible helper," so every time an opportunity came up to be visibleāpodcast interviews, speaking gigs, media featuresāI would find excuses to say no. My self-image was protecting me from stepping outside my programmed identity.
Add this self-identity on top of a dysregulated nervous system and no amount of willpower or visualization could convince me it was okay to step into the limelight.
As Dr. Maltz put it: "Positive thinking cannot be used effectively as a patch or a crutch to the same old self-image."
Why Affirmations Don't Work (And What Does)
Here's where most personal development gets it wrong. They tell you to affirm your way to a new identity. But Dr. Maltz discovered something crucial: The self-image is changed not by intellect alone, but by 'experiencing.'
You can read every business book, take every course, memorize every strategy. But until you EXPERIENCE yourself as successful, your self-image won't budge.
The Learning vs. Experiencing Gap:
You can acquire information from reading a book
But to experience, you must creatively respond to information
Information is passive. Experience is active
When you experience, new neural patterns are recorded in your brain
Let's take the "bad with money" identity. It's not enough to learn more about money management. You need to actively participate in GOOD money management, you must get the PROOF you are good at money management to be able to confirm and set your new identity.
A Note on Historical Context
This book was written in 1960, so we must note the paradigms of that time. Two major influences shaped this work:
First, behaviorism was the dominant model for psychology, assuming we were simply conditioned through reinforcement and punishments.
Second, computers were making headlines, and we started linking machine-like thinking to how our brains workāa connection that still lingers today.
While Dr. Maltz's insights are incredibly useful, we need to understand them within context. We're not machines. We're complex humans with nervous systems, trauma responses, and cultural conditioning.
The Two Systems Running Your Mind
Dr. Maltz's research discovered that we all have two systems running simultaneously in our mindsāwhat he called the Success Mechanism and the Failure Mechanism.
Think of these as two different operating systems that can take control of your brain:
Your Success Mechanism is like having an internal GPS that:
Automatically moves you toward your goals
Helps you notice opportunities
Makes you resilient when you face setbacks
Gives you creative solutions to problems
Makes you feel confident and capable
Your Failure Mechanism is like having an internal security system that:
Scans for threats and reasons why you might fail
Focuses on what could go wrong
Makes you feel inadequate compared to others
Convinces you to play it safe and avoid risk
Keeps you stuck in familiar but limiting patterns
Here's the crucial part: Both systems are always available to you. They're not fighting each otherāthey're both trying to protect you, just in different ways.
Your Success Mechanism wants to move you toward growth and achievement. Your Failure Mechanism wants to keep you safe from rejection, failure, and disappointment.
The problem is, most of us don't realize we have a choice about which system is running the show.
Here's the key insight: You can learn to recognize which mechanism is running and consciously switch to the other one.
The best thing about this? If you notice your failure mechanism running, see this as divine redirection. Not something to feel shame about. Not something to just hurry to switch off. But something to examine, get curious about, and realize that these failure mechanisms are a great big sign asking for change.
My Bali Breakdown and Breakthrough
Let me show you exactly how this played out in my own life.
I was at a business retreat in Bali, and on the second day, I found myself sitting at a table with entrepreneurs casually mentioning their $50-80K months. Me? I was doing $5K months.
The Failure Mechanism kicked in HARD. I felt like a complete fraud. I literally said out loud, "Who was I to sit at this table?"
I felt all the failure mechanism thoughts and patterns:
Insecurity: "I don't belong here"
Loneliness: "I'm disconnected from these successful people"
Uncertainty: "Should I even be here?"
Frustration: "Why am I so far behind everyone else?"
I made an off-hand comment about feeling like an impostor, and the group picked up on my spiraling thoughts. We talked about this feeling in the group. I realized that my self-image was set to "$5K person" and being around "$50K people" was triggering my internal thermostat to reject the experience.
It wasn't about the money. It was about what the money represented to me: worthiness, success, belonging in spaces like this.
Now, I used to think energetics was a load of shit. But when I left that retreat and consciously stepped into my power and self-worthāwhen I FELT like I deserved to be at that tableāeverything changed.
Business took off. I attracted higher-paying clients. I attracted MORE clients.
I changed my self-identity which changed my reality. And my failure mechanism was just as important because it showed me that I needed to change my self-identity if I truly wanted to claim the next level of success.
The Pep Talk Folder Strategy
But what about those times when you don't have a table of incredible people to talk through your success mechanism with? Well, this is where I keep a Pep Talk folder on my phone.
This is where I screenshot every love note, every piece of hype, every bit of PROOF that contradicts my old self-image:
Client wins
Kind messages
Revenue screenshots
Testimonials
Even small victories
When the Failure Mechanism tries to kick in, I pull out the receipts. I show my brain the evidence that my new identity is real and valid.
This works because your brain needs concrete evidence, not just positive thinking, to update your self-image. You're literally retraining your internal thermostat with proof.
The Identity Expansion Framework
So how do you actually start shifting your self-image? Here's what I've learned works, built on Dr. Maltz's principles but updated for our modern understanding of psychology:
Step 1: The Current State Audit
Ask yourself: "How do I currently see myself in relation to my goals?"
Common limiting identities I see:
"I'm not a salesperson" (so you avoid promoting your offers)
"I'm not tech-savvy" (so you stay stuck with outdated systems)
"I'm not a leader" (so you avoid stepping into visibility)
"I'm not good with money" (so you underprice and overspend)
Write down the specific identity that's holding you back. Get honest about the story you've been telling yourself.
Step 2: The Evidence Flip
Your brain has been collecting evidence to support your current self-image for years. Now we're going to flip the script.
For every piece of "evidence" that supports your limiting identity, find counter-evidence:
"I'm not a salesperson" ā "But I convinced my friend to try that restaurant I love"
"I'm not tech-savvy" ā "But I figured out that complicated app last month"
"I'm not a leader" ā "But my colleague always asks for my opinion on projects"
Step 3: The Micro-Experience Method
Create tiny experiences that align with your desired identity. The key is starting SO small that your current self-image doesn't resist.
Want to see yourself as a thought leader?
Don't start with a TED talk
Start with one insightful comment on LinkedIn that adds value to the conversation
Want to see yourself as confident?
Don't start with a huge presentation
Start by speaking up once in your next meeting with a helpful suggestion
Want to see yourself as someone who charges premium prices?
Don't jump straight to doubling your rates
Start by adding one small premium element to your current offer
Step 4: The Future Self Visualization
Dr. Maltz was a pioneer in visualization, but not the fluffy "imagine your dreams" kindāthe scientific, specific kind.
Spend 10 minutes daily visualizing yourself AS the person who has already achieved your goal:
How do they speak in meetings?
How do they make decisions when faced with challenges?
How do they handle setbacks or criticism?
What does a typical day look like for them?
How do they feel in their body when they wake up?
Step 5: The Identity Bridge
Create a bridge between who you are now and who you're becoming. Use language like:
"I'm becoming someone who..."
"I'm learning to..."
"I'm developing the skill of..."
"I'm in the process of..."
This gives your brain permission to be imperfect while still moving toward your new identity. It honors where you are while creating space for growth.
The Common Traps to Avoid
Before we wrap up, let me warn you about the most common traps people fall into when working with self-image:
Trap 1: The Perfection Prison Thinking you need to completely transform overnight. Your self-image has been decades in the makingāgive it time to shift. Progress, not perfection.
Trap 2: The Comparison Quicksand Measuring yourself against someone else's standard instead of your own growth. As Dr. Maltz said: "When we judge ourselves against another person's norm, we always come out second best."
Trap 3: The All-or-Nothing Fallacy Thinking one setback means you're back to square one. Your self-image is like a muscleāit gets stronger with consistent training, not perfection.
Trap 4: The Surface-Level Fix Trying to change your results without changing your identity. Your actions will always align with your self-image, not your goals.
The Truth About Change
You don't need to become a completely different person. You need to become more of who you already are at your core, minus the limiting beliefs that have been programmed into you by society, family, or past experiences.
Your Next Steps
Here's what I want you to remember: Your current self-image isn't the truth about youāit's just the story you've been telling yourself based on past experiences.
The beautiful thing about being human is that you get to rewrite that story, starting today.
Your Action Steps:
Identify one limiting identity that's holding you back
Find three pieces of counter-evidence
Create one micro-experience this week that aligns with who you're becoming
Start a "Pep Talk" folder with your own evidence
Use bridge language to give yourself permission to grow
Remember that line from NF: "Every day when you get up and think you'll never be great, you'll never be great, not because you're not, but the hate will always find a way to cut you up and murder your faith."
The hateāthat internal voice of limitationāonly has power if you let it program your self-image.
You have everything you need to succeed already within you. Sometimes you just need to update your internal operating system to access it.
What limiting identity is ready to be retired in your business? Share in the commentsāI read every single one.
If this resonated with you, subscribe for more insights on building wildly profitable businesses that feel completely aligned with who you are.
Ready to rise? Let's light it up.
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