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Ever feel like your health struggles are "all in your head"? It’s time to change the narrative.
Welcome to the supportive, straight talking "girls group chat" you’ve been waiting for. Hosted by Ellisha - your resident big sister, fellow struggler, and open book - this podcast is a safe space for young women navigating the complexities of health issues like PMDD, ADHD, and everything in between.
We know what it’s like to be chronically online but feel completely unheard. Whether you’re paralyzed by information overload, tired of doctors dismissing your pain, or fearing your symptoms are impacting your relationships and career, we’re here to cut through the noise.
What to expect each week:
Raw & Relatable Chat: No inaccessible celebrities here - just real stories from "normal" women going through the exact same thing.
The Hormone Hotline: We dive into your anonymous listener dilemmas from across the web to provide actionable advice and support.
Self-Advocacy Tools: We move from feeling silenced to feeling empowered, equipping you with the confidence to advocate for your physical and mental health.
Stop the chronic comparison and start healing. It’s time to move from overwhelmed to equipped.
Hit follow and join the chat. You aren't falling behind, and you certainly aren't alone.
[00:00:44:06 - 00:01:25:14]
Host:
Welcome to the Hormonal Hotline podcast with me, Alicia Blake. The podcast where we talk about all the things that would usually stay in a group chat but there are no boundaries here. We're having raw, honest and open conversations and I want to thank you so much for being here. Let's get to it. Hello and welcome back to the Hormonal Hotline with me, Alicia Blake. I'm very excited for today's episode. We're talking about sustainability in menstrual health. We're talking about period pants and I have the honour of sitting with the co-founders of my absolute favourite period pant brand, Nixie Body. I am here today with Connie and Kelly. Hi.
[00:01:25:14 - 00:01:35:10]
Coni:
I feel like we are sat so far away. Yeah, we look like we've spent a lot of time together this week. We've had a huge fallout and the business has fallen apart.
[00:01:35:10 - 00:01:37:13]
Host:
Your social distancing.
[00:01:37:13 - 00:01:42:06]
Kelly:
Back in 2020. I love it. How are you both?
[00:01:42:06 - 00:01:51:03]
Coni:
We're good. Very happy to be here. It's nice to be just chilling out and chatting period. I feel like I'm here with period pant loyalty. Honestly.
[00:01:51:03 - 00:01:55:15]
Host:
Connie, I met you what, last year at the Holland Barra event?
[00:01:55:15 - 00:02:00:00]
Coni:
Yeah. What do we meet before? A few things. Our paths crossed a few times.
[00:02:00:00 - 00:02:02:00]
Host:
I feel like you might have been that coming.
[00:02:02:00 - 00:02:06:21]
Kelly:
I was there. I do remember you. You were doing lots of exercises weren't you? There was a big workout thing.
[00:02:06:21 - 00:02:11:20]
Coni:
I was nearly pregnant. Yes. It was a secret. It was two years ago.
[00:02:12:23 - 00:02:20:13]
Coni:
I was like three months pregnant. People didn't really know and I was like, by the way, you were like, what? I guess you've got a great video of you reacting to that news.
[00:02:20:13 - 00:02:23:16]
Host:
Really? And now your baby is here in the world.
[00:02:23:16 - 00:02:27:01]
Coni:
Yeah. He's out and about. He's gone for pizza. He's gone for pizza and started with my brother.
[00:02:27:01 - 00:02:29:19]
Host:
What are we doing here?
[00:02:29:19 - 00:02:35:20]
Coni:
Honestly, that's so funny. But yeah, I feel like we've crossed bars and you wear our pants.
[00:02:35:20 - 00:02:50:15]
Host:
Do you know what? And I will say this. I genuinely, and I've always talked about it on my TikTok, Nixie Body is my favorite brand. And I'm not just saying that because I'm with you. There's some of them that just make me feel hot. You are incredibly hot anyway.
[00:02:50:15 - 00:02:53:18]
Kelly:
Let's face it. But I mean our knickers will make you look even hotter.
[00:02:53:18 - 00:03:06:03]
Host:
But some that make me feel like they feel like very overstimulating to wear. They are just so light, wear, thin. They dry really well, which I love. So when I go on holiday, pack them all. Also, to pack in a case, they're fabulous.
[00:03:06:03 - 00:03:17:10]
Coni:
They're not thick. Yeah. You don't need that. Yeah. You don't need like thick gussets and thick pants. Like we just don't want a reminder that you're wearing pants that aren't normal pants. We just wanted them to make the feel like they're normal. Yeah. But they have an average underwear.
[00:03:17:10 - 00:03:25:12]
Kelly:
Like we said, like that they lesticated seam in the middle that makes your bum. It's there for a purpose, isn't it? It kind of keeps the knickers in place, but it makes your bum look really beachy.
[00:03:25:12 - 00:03:28:07]
Coni:
I know. I mean, you've got some pictures. Yeah. You sent us some UGC, girl.
[00:03:28:07 - 00:03:32:14]
Kelly:
You need to stop sending us pictures of them with their knickers. It's too much.
[00:03:32:14 - 00:03:47:15]
Host:
I was on the balcony on holiday, literally like posing like, and I like, my bum would like, I don't know, I was trying. I was really trying. And I was like, my ex at the time, I was like, get the angles. No, not really great. You got the angles. Right. So let's start at the beginning.
[00:03:49:05 - 00:04:01:06]
Host:
You both founded Nixie Body. How did you meet, how did that begin? Why did you start a period pant brand? Because it's not an easy or simple brand to start. So how did this all come?
[00:04:02:09 - 00:04:03:06]
Coni:
It all starts with Kel.
[00:04:03:06 - 00:05:50:10]
Kelly:
All right, Connie, let's go back further than that. So I started my periods when I was about 14. And from the very start, had really heavy, long, painful periods, but just thought that that was normal. We didn't talk about periods in my house. I'm the oldest of three girls. And I just went through life just thinking like this horrendous pain, you know, all through my, through my legs, through my pelvis everywhere was just normal. And it wasn't until I was 39, I was diagnosed with endometriosis. So I had a couple of laparoscopies and ended up having a hysterectomy when I was 42. And then I started dealing menopause. I'm just like, I'm making this, I'm minimising it all really, but it was, yeah, it was pretty horrendous time for me. And then my first physical symptom of the menopause was bladder leaks. So I've always played sports, always moved my body. And this was happening to me. I couldn't wear pads because they really irritated me and caused infections. So I ended up buying some really disgusting leak proof knickers. This is about nine years ago from Amazon and they were just disgusting. They were gross. I felt like I was wearing a nappy. They rustled like a crisp packet when I moved. I couldn't sneak up on anybody. Like they were, they were just disgusting. So I thought there's got to be a better way to do this. I need something that's really discreet. I kind of lived in my gym leggings. So I designed our first pair of nixes. So I kind of had the prototype and then I realised I had to set up a website and I had to start doing social media. And my husband put me on this free NatWest social media course, which was absolutely terrible. No, no, I'm not dissing NatWest, but it wasn't great. And there was this girl at the back who kept shouting out all the answers. Got me girls. I really got me girl at the back. I'm like, I need to know who's this girl. And I remember turning around and going, who keeps answering the questions? And she was like, me, I need to talk to you afterwards. So we kind of connected, didn't we? And then I said to her, do you want to come for a coffee? And then Connie couldn't finish the rest because she likes to tell this bit.
[00:05:50:10 - 00:06:05:07]
Coni:
Well, yeah, we, so I was, I don't know why I was at that back. I don't know why. Because yeah, like it was my, I, maybe I was, I was freelancing. I was about to go freelance. So maybe I should have pick up some clients. I mean, it worked. I got more than a bargain for, I got a business partner.
[00:06:07:04 - 00:06:07:17]
Coni:
So yeah,
[00:06:08:19 - 00:06:50:17]
Coni:
so we, we met and I was freelancing and all of my clients, it just was kind of quite random, had ended up being in the women's health space or the first couple. And then it kind of snowballed because I was just, you know, I was interested in this stuff. And then when I started working it, working it and talking about fertility and talking about periods and all this sort of stuff, I just was fascinated. And it really opened my eyes to stuff that I just hadn't thought about in terms of my own body about what was going on. So that was sort of going on on the sidelines. And then I went to this thing and met Kel and it just was, you know, quite, but it was fate, I guess, because I was like, Oh, well, not only am I good at marketing stuff, that's what I do. I was like, but all my clients are in women's health. So I was like, I can help you massively. So we went for coffee, cut, Kel showed me a knickers in a cafe and so home.
[00:06:50:17 - 00:06:53:00]
Host:
Of course it was so home.
[00:06:53:00 - 00:07:04:21]
Coni:
Yeah, exactly. And just like, and I loved the product and loved Kel. And I was like, actually, I feel like there's, there's more here. Let's, can I come on as a co-founder basically? Because you would sort of pre-launch at that point.
[00:07:04:21 - 00:07:19:01]
Kelly:
I had no idea what I was doing, basically. Honestly, I just thought, I was like Kevin Costner, I will build it and people will come, they will come and buy the knickers. Obviously it doesn't work like that in business. So I was so lucky to meet Connie really early on. And yeah, like together, we've just built this amazing brand.
[00:07:19:01 - 00:07:59:09]
Coni:
And I think that's the thing is the knickers are the same. I mean, we've extended the range, we've done new styles, but like period songs. We've got the songs now. I know, so weird. But the original style, we still sell that style. Like nothing has dramatically changed about the product. What Kel designed like at her kitchen table all those years ago is still what makes them such a great pair of knickers. But what has changed over the years is the brand that we've built and the community that we've built. And I think we've really focused on exercise and sport, which was, you know, again, the original idea, but we sort of didn't really talk about it that much. And then now we've realised actually, these knickers were built to keep women moving through menstruation, motherhood, menopause, all the different life stages.
[00:07:59:09 - 00:08:33:08]
Kelly:
And we saw, I mean, it's not even about just like going to play, like going to play sport or exercise. It's about anybody who moves their body. So yeah, if you're getting up going for a walk or you're taking a dog for a walk or you're just walking your kids to school to nursery, that's an active woman. And we're so passionate about keeping women and girls of all ages like moving. And I mean, from day one, like you say, that was our goal. I designed them because of my love of sport. And I've played my first sport I ever played. I was nine years old, you know, back in 1980 and playing football. And I've played a sport every single year since then and absolutely loved it. And Connie, obviously, she loves moving her body.
[00:08:33:08 - 00:09:37:22]
Coni:
Oh, and I think like you said, yes, we deal with elite athletes and that's really, really cool. But actually, I think it's so important for women, whether you're quote unquote good at sport or not, like it doesn't matter, like just go and do something for fun, like go and move your body. And I think at those different life stages that we talked about, like, whether it's you've got your period and you've got PMS and you know, you need to look after your mental health, or you just had a baby and you need to reconnect with yourself, or you're going through menopause, like whatever those different life stages, moving your body can help massively, massively. And I think if you're worried about leaks, be they period or bladder leaks. So that's just another thing to worry about or another barrier stopping you to go and do those things like go to that dance class or go to that yoga class. So if we can just remove that barrier from up with our knickers, that's great. But then I think the work that we do in terms of as a brand and conversations like this, it's also trying to remove stigma and embarrassment and allow women just to have those conversations about what's going on in their body. So I think over the last, you know, six years that we've been together, like that's what's been so great. It's like the knickers have sort of stayed the same in many ways, or we sort of evolved them slightly, but the conversation has evolved, the community has evolved.
[00:09:37:22 - 00:10:09:02]
Kelly:
It's actually really helped me as well, because I like to say I've had all of these issues in my periods. And, and actually all of these women's health issues over the years. And Connie's made me realise because I always thought like, it was my fault that I didn't know what was wrong with me. But actually, so what Connie says to me, it's the system, the system let me down. Yes, I wasn't I mean, I can't believe you say 39. Was it? Yeah, but I'm gonna be really frank here. But honestly, the only reason I went to the doctors about my heavy, long, painful periods was because sex had become really painful. And actually that started to cause like, I had started to have an impact
[00:10:09:02 - 00:10:20:15]
Host:
on my marriage because it started affecting someone else. Exactly. When it did something about, yeah, that's crazy. So ingrained in us just keep going and it's normal. You just have to just keep going on with it.
[00:10:20:15 - 00:10:59:22]
Coni:
I don't think people know, I think, you know, when we talk to people, be they teenagers, or, you know, for example, England netball is one of our partners, and we went in, and I went and did this talk for them. And I thought, okay, these are grown women, they're athletes at the top of the game, like they've got nutritionists, they've got coaches, I kind of naively assumed they'd be pretty clued in about what was going on. So I sort of went through this talk. And I thought, they're gonna be like, this is a bit simple for us. We know that the amount of women on that team who had no idea that the periods they were experiencing were an indication of something that was on their body. No, they were like, Oh, I don't know if I'll be able to wear the pants because you know, I'm changing a pad every hour or you know, that kind of thing.
[00:10:59:22 - 00:11:03:02]
Kelly:
My mum's my mum has really heavy pants. Oh, normalise.
[00:11:03:02 - 00:11:12:18]
Coni:
That was a thing. It was when you said, you know, scary. No, it's fine. It's normal. My mum's the same. I'm my auntie. And you're like, yeah, you've probably all got a hereditary condition that's like making a period.
[00:11:12:18 - 00:11:21:01]
Host:
Because your grandma put up with it and your mum put up with it. They sort of mean you need to pass and tend to sometimes pass on this mentality of like, what I dealt with it, you'll be fine.
[00:11:21:01 - 00:11:58:01]
Coni:
Yeah. And you just keep going. Exactly. So I think, you know, we see that all the time, like you said, that normalisation and Kel Kel's like a real example of that. And I think that's what we're really passionate about, especially when we talk to young girls, like we're like, we really will drum into them. Like, this is something that is holding you back. For example, if you've got a period so bad that you have to miss school every month, or you have to pull out of PE every month, that's probably a sign that something's not right. Like pain is always a sign from your body. And you shouldn't ignore those signs. But I think as women, when it comes to our periods or anything to do with our periods, same with PMS and all that kind of stuff, we just normalise it.
[00:11:58:01 - 00:12:38:04]
Kelly:
And I think what we're trying to do, and what we've been doing, going into schools is, it's almost letting them know that basic information, but saying to them, you know, it is really difficult. You do need to advocate for yourself. And this education is what helps them advocate. Education is key. Education is so key. And I've honestly, I mean, I'm 54 now. I think I've learned more in the past few years from Connie and from doing this than I did in all of the previous years, you know, it's just, and it's not just about my periods, you know, menopause. I've been on a real learning curve with my periods as well. And so with the menopause as well, it's just, I've learned so much since being in this role, you know, founding our business. Yeah, and this community that we hang out with.
[00:12:38:04 - 00:12:50:10]
Host:
Yeah, that's why it's just so important to sit down and talk. Because if we're not talking to each other, we don't know what is normal. And we don't know what, like, because we just keep it in and we normalise it and we struggle in silence.
[00:12:50:10 - 00:13:07:00]
Coni:
And I think like people like us who, you know, we work in this space in different ways, but you know, we're sort of every single day, I'm talking about a period to someone, whether they like it or not. But it's just, it's just my life, like, that's what I do. But I think sometimes it makes me assume that everything's moved on so far.
[00:13:08:09 - 00:13:25:03]
Coni:
That every woman on the street is talking about this stuff. And don't get me wrong, I think it is certainly better than when you were at school and probably when we were at school and stuff. Things are moving in the right direction. But there is still so much stigma and so much embarrassment between women talking about this stuff. I think I forget.
[00:13:25:03 - 00:13:41:06]
Host:
What would you actually say? No, I so agree. And I think you do when you own these really positive spaces. And I go to Evelyn for the day and work with them. I'm like, yeah, everyone, like I meet Jared who knows everything about periods. No, that's really not the norm. Like, what would you say is one of the biggest menstrual taboos that still exist today?
[00:13:43:08 - 00:14:19:19]
Coni:
I think, I think that people still just feel like periods are gross. Yeah, yeah, definitely. You know, yeah, I think people think they're unhygienic and feel grossed out by the people feel okay period. Let's talk about it in terms of nixie. It's a really tangible thing. People sometimes get a bit grossed out at the idea of period underwear. And when you start to break that down, you're like, okay, why are you grossed out? And I think it's because people are used to dealing with their period with disposables or tampons where you don't even have to look at it, you just sort of like, you know, whip something
[00:14:19:19 - 00:14:47:00]
Host:
out because I was recently seeing someone new. And I was explaining to him like, I just use period underwear. And like, he didn't care. He was really like, Oh, cool, nice. How does that work? Really, like just intrigued. And it was lovely. But I could feel myself being like a bit embarrassed. And then I wash them and I hang them over the rail in the bathroom. That's me. And I'm like, you know, I talk about myself all the time. Like I'm like, God, no one should care. But even I could feel myself when I was explaining it.
[00:14:47:00 - 00:15:25:01]
Kelly:
I think we've just everything periods have always been kind of shrouded in shame, haven't they? And we've never, we've been brought up not to use the correct terminology for things as well, which I didn't used to think was important. And I say to Connie, why can't I call it my funny? It's just my funny. I was just like, you need to call it by its name. And I used to think why and then I got it just it clicked one day. And I'm always saying, you know, I'm a big advocate now for like calling it by its name and, and using the correct terminology because I think that why can't we use that if we if we take away that when we're not hiding things, it's not in secret and it's out there. And it's it's like you say it's everyone is such a taboo all of the time.
[00:15:25:01 - 00:15:54:02]
Coni:
And if we if we talk in like euphemisms or little words or whatever, like it's like saying you're not allowed to say the right thing. You're not allowed to say the stuff. And that is the kind of thing that is stopping girls and women going to the doctor and talking about stuff. And when when we're in school in schools, I say, look, your mental health is just your overall health. Yeah. It's just as like you wouldn't be embarrassed to go to your parent or go to a doctor. And this teens or grown ups or add up. Sorry, I've been in the school a week. You can tell because I keep saying grown ups.
[00:15:54:02 - 00:15:54:23]
Host:
You're grown up.
[00:15:54:23 - 00:16:36:14]
Coni:
No, adults is, you know, when it comes to our health, like we don't feel a lot of embarrassment about other elements of our health. Like, you know, I think there's some that we do and there's some that we don't. And I think if we can move periods and menstrual health into the same arena of like, you would go and say, I've got a sore throat, I've got a headache, I've got this, like you wouldn't really think twice about those stuff. You'd be like, I've got some symptoms I need to get help. Whereas when it comes to our periods and our mental health, everything feels like taboo. Everything feels embarrassing. And it's, you know, it's not great from a cultural perspective, but it's really not going from a health perspective. No, it's like if you can't go to a doctor and be like, yeah, like I'm clotting or I'm this or I'm that without feeling like so embarrassed to talk about those things.
[00:16:36:14 - 00:16:55:02]
Kelly:
I would never ever have gone to the doctor about my periods ever. Exactly. I would be so embarrassed. Because, I mean, my mum's lovely, you know, my mum's lovely, but we just didn't talk about those things. So I would, I never had the tools to be able to articulate what was going on with my body to my mum, let her know go to see a doctor to explain what was happening.
[00:16:55:02 - 00:16:58:08]
Coni:
So. Because if your mum's never spoken about it to you in a way.
[00:16:58:08 - 00:17:38:20]
Host:
I mean, my mum is, my mum's hilarious. She has always been that person, go in, get what you want. Like she's always really pushed me to advocate. And she's really had to push. She's sometimes like, I don't want the cheap one. I want the expensive one. The prescription. She's like, that's what you give and that's bad for my liver. So I don't want that. I want this. I'm like, she knows she does the research or she goes in, but it's true. If you haven't had that sort of like push or understanding, it's really hard to know how to navigate it. Do you, now you're sort of out the other side, not out the other side, but you've been through this journey of having to now advocate for yourself. Yeah. What advice would you give to someone that is where you were and has spent a life of feeling ashamed of talking about.
[00:17:38:20 - 00:18:24:02]
Kelly:
You know, I've got two sons, but I fostered for many years. And our last placement was four girls who obviously all came from, you know, from very young up through teenage years. But I was, we were very, very open about it. There was no way that they were going to be brought up to be embarrassed about any of that stuff. And one of my girls, she started her period at nine and I wasn't around, but she had absolutely no qualms in speaking to my husband to say, I started my period and my husband sorted her out and there was no judgment. My boys were fine. You know, they're, they're educated young ads. They know that they need to support the women in their life. So I would say from a really early age, you've got to start talking to these girls about what's going to happen, these changes that are going to happen to their bodies. And again, that was really evident at the school that we went to. You could see some of the girls were sat around on the side.
[00:18:25:04 - 00:18:49:20]
Kelly:
And then you started and they didn't look interested. And as soon as you started talking, I see one of them, her ears picked up and she moved herself off the sofa and sat at the front. She was really listening and she was so engaged and so many questions at the end. But again, a couple of them were like, my mom won't talk about things like this. It's such a shame. You've got such an opportunity to kind of move on this generation of not, you know, dispelling all of this shame and embarrassment and bringing forward like, yeah.
[00:18:49:20 - 00:19:07:06]
Host:
What would you say to say a child, not a child, say someone is now they've turned 18, they have to go to the doctor for the first time on their own. Mom hasn't been the biggest support in terms of being able to teach her how to advocate. What advice would you give them?
[00:19:07:06 - 00:19:12:17]
Kelly:
We talk a lot about keeping a diary, don't we? Symptoms diary. Doctors always want that.
[00:19:12:17 - 00:19:48:21]
Coni:
I think it's really hard. Even like me, who's someone who's like very confident speaking about this stuff. Like when I went through like having my baby and all this sort of stuff, you really, I had to interact with doctors a lot and you know, you kind of do start to realise that, what's it called? Is it white coat syndrome? Where like you get quite, even the most confident person can get a little bit like a doctor's telling me, no, that's normal or no, you know, whatever that is. And obviously there are some incredible doctors out there. But I think that it is when we are going to ask over those initial GP interviews, what are they called?
[00:19:48:21 - 00:19:51:03]
Kelly:
Appointments. Appointments.
[00:19:51:03 - 00:19:53:19]
Host:
Appointments. Appointments. Appointments. Appointments. Appointments. Appointments. God, I'm getting your brain fog.
[00:19:55:19 - 00:20:25:16]
Coni:
I think that it's a bit of luck of the draw, right? Like you can walk into that room and that can be someone who has seen this before, you know, if you say endometriosis is an example, or I know people that are like, the only reason I got diagnosed is because my GP's like cousin had it or something and they've seen it before. They were in the know. Totally. Or you might walk in and someone's not so clued up on those stuff and it's a little bit luck of the draw or whether you get that referral right to the right person and you get to see a specialist. So I think like you said, symptoms, diaries, really important. I think you need to be audacious as well.
[00:20:25:16 - 00:20:48:19]
Kelly:
Yeah. I mean, I do your research. I think you're really empowered. Yeah. I mean, with like going back to my, the menopause, I knew that I was going through menopause. I knew it was and I'd taken a whole list of symptoms. I'd written them all down on a piece of paper and I was still poo poo'd by my doctor. But because I was in the menopause, I was in the worst place ever. I was like, wanted to kill everyone in my family. I was having panic attacks. I was depressed.
[00:20:49:21 - 00:21:27:02]
Kelly:
I was told I had to go for blood tests and I just thought, I know that blood tests aren't going to help me, but he's the doctor. He knows what he's talking about. But now, and actually the only thing, the only reason he gave me HRT 18 months later was because I literally broke down in tears. So if you don't give it to me, like something terrible is going to happen here. So I had to be emotional, hysterical, basically. But I feel like we need to be slightly audacious now. Going with a friend, if you feel more confident, take away, take that take for you. Yeah. So keep your diary, go in with your list of symptoms, take somebody with you and be audacious. Yeah. I would always say that.
[00:21:27:02 - 00:22:09:03]
Coni:
We will try and be polite, don't we? We don't want to put anyone out and it's like, actually, you know, you know yourself best, but I love that you said about taking someone with you. Because I think again, we sort of think, well, I'm an adult, I shouldn't have to take someone with me to the doctor, but actually having someone in that room, especially someone who knows you, you know, if it's your partner, for example, and being like, I'm witnessing how they are like I'm witnessing and just someone to kind of, yeah, like bear witness to what you're saying. It's like, this isn't in my head. And to also witness how the doctor is reacting to you. Because I think again, I certainly can go into a room, have an interaction and sometimes come out being like, am I being ridiculous? Like, maybe they were listening to me or maybe they didn't really say that.
[00:22:09:03 - 00:22:11:04]
Host:
And you're not in that place. And you're so stressful.
[00:22:11:04 - 00:22:28:00]
Coni:
So I think having a neutral person who can go there and like help advocate for you, but can also say, no, they were being a bit dismissive of you or no, they were, you know, it's like, it just means that you don't feel like you're going crazy. Which I think because women, we tend to like really overanalyse how we behave in situations.
[00:22:28:00 - 00:22:45:15]
Kelly:
And then I've left so many doctors like appointments like, you know, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. I'm walking away and they're getting in the car crying, thinking, it's not fine. Why did I, I've just been like, my pain has been minimised yet again. Nobody's listening to me. It's, yeah, it's quite heartbreaking, isn't it? But then you do, you do get, I've got some amazing doctors.
[00:22:45:15 - 00:23:02:00]
Host:
Oh yeah, I've had a really amazing GP in the past. I think you just, you just get lucky. And I always say if you don't, if you've obviously, I say it's like dating in a way, the first time you go in, if it's not a match, you can go back to a different GP in the practice. There will be someone in the GP who will listen.
[00:23:02:00 - 00:23:06:21]
Kelly:
That takes confidence to say actually, no, I'm not happy with that GP. I'd like a second opinion.
[00:23:06:21 - 00:23:37:02]
Coni:
It's also time. I think that's the other thing. And I think when we're talking about the stuff that we're talking about, so whether it's menopause, PMDD, postpartum depression, heavy painful periods, those things like drag you down. So then to be like, right, so also my list of things to do today is go back to the doctor, try and get another appointment. It's like when you're struggling with your health, the added admin, that is really hard. Yeah. That shouldn't be underestimated. And you feel so isolated.
[00:23:37:02 - 00:23:55:14]
Host:
I remember when I was being diagnosed with PMDD, it was the most isolating thing. And I actually had a great support network at the time, but I said to everyone around me, guys, like I need your help here. Like no one quite understood how you feel. You just feel so isolated. Talking of postpartum, how have you been since you've had a baby? Oh God.
[00:23:56:17 - 00:24:28:06]
Coni:
How old is Ted now? Ted is nearly 18 months and he's a dream. He is so fun. He's so funny, isn't he? He's gorgeous. So no, motherhood is, I mean, motherhood in terms of I think me and my baby is incredible. I think motherhood and the juggle of business and motherhood is really, really tough. And then I think maternal mental health is massively under, like, I think people think you either have postpartum depression or you're fine. And it's like, I think there can be somewhere in between. You know, I think it is,
[00:24:29:09 - 00:24:46:23]
Coni:
I think I underestimated that 18 months I would still be feeling the kind of the sort of ripple effect of how it... The wrath. Yeah, totally. And I think people think postpartum is at like three months and it's like, right, go and get your check up and get back to exercise and get back having sex and get back to it.
[00:24:46:23 - 00:25:01:07]
Host:
I think you said something to me recently where you said people kind of, you're in this bubble for the first three months and everyone's, "Oh, so lovely." And you're doing so well. And then it's that, it's almost like grief, isn't it? When you go through grief, everyone's there in the beginning, but you actually really need them six months down the line.
[00:25:01:07 - 00:25:26:02]
Coni:
That's when you need the sport. Totally, totally. And you need to still be kind to yourself. So I think you think you should be fine now. You know, you should just be taking it all in your stride and like, "Oh, well, I..." You know, because again, like you said, those first three months, everyone expects you to be like, "What is going on?" So you're sort of given like a free pass almost. But then I think as life ramps up again, and obviously you do have to get back to sort of quote unquote normal life, but your life will never be the same again.
[00:25:26:02 - 00:25:43:15]
Kelly:
I think with you especially, you're so strong. You're such a strong character and you're such a strong person. I think that everyone just expects you just to bounce back. Bounce back. And people think you're fine. And I'm so conscious all the time. Like, "Are you okay? How are you feeling?" Take some time out, which is difficult. We know it's so difficult because the business is so busy.
[00:25:43:15 - 00:25:56:03]
Coni:
Yeah, but I'm lucky that I have the people around me in terms of the team. Like everyone is so supportive, but you're so right. And I think also if you are a strong person, you're sort of navigating motherhood in a way where you don't really...
[00:25:57:05 - 00:26:15:22]
Coni:
I don't know. Like I think in your head, you would think, "Mom that is quote unquote struggling is sat there on the floor in her pyjamas at 2 p.m. like crying." Not getting her life together. Yeah, it's like crying. It's like, "Can't do anything." Whereas like if you were looking at me, I'm functioning. I'm like, "Oh, I'm this. I'm at the baby classes. I'm being sociable.
[00:26:17:04 - 00:27:02:03]
Coni:
On a Sunday. Totally. And I think that that's when things can slip through the cracks a little bit. And even with my own mom, like I think we, me and my mom have gone on a really interesting journey as I've become a mom and she's become a grandmother or nonny, as we call her, is she's had to learn that I'm really vulnerable. Vulnerable is the word that I say time, time again. Since I became pregnant, really, I was like, "You just feel really vulnerable as a new mom." You're like, "I actually need quite a lot of help." And I think if you're a strong person who's used to being really independent, it's quite hard to ask for that help sometimes. And I think that can really impact your mental health because you are trying to be strong and you are trying to be like, "I'm fine. Yeah, I've got a baby and but I'm still doing this, that and the other." And it's really difficult.
[00:27:02:03 - 00:27:22:00]
Kelly:
I think we're so similar in everything that we do. We just crack on, don't we? With everything I've just always cracked on, our emotions, our feelings come behind everybody else's emotions and feelings, which is why I feel like I'm hopefully quite supportive of Connie. You both get it. We do both get it. Yeah, I look at her and I think this was me. This was me like 25 years ago.
[00:27:22:00 - 00:28:01:09]
Coni:
How was it I was doing this and just cracking on with it? Because especially in that first year and especially if you're still breastfeeding and your hormones are all over the place. But I also just think that there's an element of the self-care that you do if you want to holistically look after your hormones and manage PMS and stuff like that. It just goes by the wayside. And I remember talking to my husband about this a few months ago. I had a really, really bad episode of PMS and I was saying to him, the frustrating thing is I was like, "I've worked in this area for years." I was like, "I know everything I should be doing to make this better." And I was like, "I'm not doing any of it." I was like, "But before I had Ted, if I knew that I was struggling with PMS."
[00:28:01:09 - 00:28:02:22]
Host:
You'd be able to put in preventative action. Totally.
[00:28:02:22 - 00:28:34:15]
Coni:
I could be like, "Do you know what? I'm going to cancel that big night out with my friends and I'm going to go and have a sauna and I'm going to go for a walk." Take it easy. "Of the morning, I'm just going to get up and I'm going to get out and go hot girl walks in the morning." It's like, "Guess what? A hot girl walk when you've got a baby, we've got to get you a crown." It takes you two hours to get out of the house. Exactly. All of that stuff that is possible. I'm not saying it's not possible with kids, but it is genuinely harder. I'm talking about PMS, but anything to do with our mental health. All of those holistic practices are 10 times harder when you've got a baby in tow. Absolutely.
[00:28:34:15 - 00:28:45:15]
Host:
You're constantly dysregulated as well. This is the thing when I think about being a mother. Sounds and noises, waking up five times a month.
[00:28:45:15 - 00:28:49:17]
Coni:
It's so full of joy as well. She wants to talk about that.
[00:28:49:17 - 00:28:52:08]
Host:
Let the record show. Ted, you're amazing.
[00:28:54:14 - 00:29:03:02]
Coni:
The highs are really high and the lows are really low and the stimulation is constant. It is from your nervous system quite a lot.
[00:29:03:02 - 00:29:09:14]
Host:
What do you do now when you are having a bad PMS slash PMDD month?
[00:29:11:05 - 00:29:13:00]
Kelly:
She hasn't got time to think about it.
[00:29:13:00 - 00:29:22:11]
Coni:
Exhibit A is, "I'm due on next week." Here I am like, "Guess I'll come to London to do a podcast." This is actually dreamy. I guess I try to
[00:29:23:12 - 00:29:28:07]
Coni:
take out what I can around this time. It's really hard because I love working.
[00:29:29:12 - 00:29:31:06]
Coni:
I limit alcohol.
[00:29:32:07 - 00:29:45:17]
Coni:
Don't drink when I don't drink that much anyway, but I don't drink in my luteal phase. Good girl. I'll just avoid alcohol at all costs because that's the easiest thing for me to do because I have no social life as an e-mom anyway. I might as well just make a health choice.
[00:29:47:18 - 00:29:48:10]
Coni:
But I think,
[00:29:49:14 - 00:30:17:09]
Coni:
honestly, do you know what? I answered on a postcard because I'm still trying to figure it out. That's okay. One of the big things I would say is, and again, it comes out for that communication, is I've really opened lines of communication with Kel. I've really opened lines of communication with my husband. Even though I do try and crack on, I also can literally be like, "I'm due on next week, so I'm just not functioning." I can just say that and just being able to say that, I think is great because-
[00:30:17:09 - 00:30:19:23]
Kelly:
Because he knows I can't function most weeks anyway because of the menopause.
[00:30:19:23 - 00:30:23:01]
Coni:
We're right there. We're all in business together.
[00:30:23:01 - 00:30:28:02]
Host:
It's actually hilarious because we're both just falling apart. I'm also due on as well. We're in night.
[00:30:28:02 - 00:30:29:12]
Coni:
We've really got it going on today.
[00:30:30:15 - 00:30:32:23]
Coni:
There's a lot of hormones flying around today.
[00:30:32:23 - 00:30:34:13]
Kelly:
You guys leave and I'll just do the rest of the book.
[00:30:34:13 - 00:31:18:13]
Coni:
I might go to great. I think just being honest with the people that are around you, communication. Totally. Your partner, your business partner, whoever you work with. Again, it's such a privilege because I can say that to not just Kel, but anyone on our team or anyone in the WhatsApp group. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, "Oh, guys, sorry. My peers just arrived, so I'm useless." Fine. But I'm not in a corporate environment where you are constantly worried about potentially your misogynistic boss not giving you a promotion because you're a woman or whatever. That idea of like, "Well, women are too hormonal." So then you don't... I imagine if you're in a different environment than what we are, then that line of communication and the professional's telling is
[00:31:18:13 - 00:31:26:21]
Host:
so tough. I do think it is... I've heard from some of my corporate girlies, things are getting a little bit better. I'd actually love to have a proper conversation with someone in
[00:31:26:21 - 00:31:38:01]
Coni:
the corporate space. Yeah, what is it? Because they say that their policies are in place, but does that make you comfortable enough to say to your boss, if your boss doesn't seem encouraging, to say, "Oh, yeah, actually, this is a period health thing."
[00:31:38:01 - 00:31:46:01]
Host:
In fact, if you are a corporate girlie or anyone that works in the corporate world, can you write in and tell us about that experience? Yeah, please tell us. Because we'd love to know.
[00:31:46:01 - 00:31:48:02]
Coni:
Our self-employed girls are like, "We don't know what's going on out there."
[00:31:48:02 - 00:31:50:07]
Host:
We're like, "We're space cadets."
[00:31:52:00 - 00:33:15:20]
Host:
This podcast literally wouldn't be possible without Everlin. Beyond producing it, they have personally helped me on my PMDD journey. I am literally in my luthial phase right now, and I'm telling you, it makes me emotional. Three years ago, there's no way I could have even sat in this chair, done this podcast, or done anything in my luthial phase. I used to feel like I didn't want to be here before my period. There was a big cloud looming over me, and life just felt so heavy in the two weeks before my period. But since I've started Everlin's supplement routine over a year ago, genuinely, my whole life has changed. I feel like I can live again before my period, turn up and do things like this, socialize. Everything around me has improved, and I feel like I can really be myself again in my luthial phase. Everlin makes science-backed, hormone-free supplements designed by experts for people like me. If you're struggling with your period, I honestly would urge you to give them a try. If you'd like to try them today, go to everlinhealth.com or use the link in our show notes, and you can use Hotline 20 for 20% off your first order. Moving on, I just want to touch back on Nixi and how it is a sustainable brand, and why have you got a sustainable brand? Why is it important for us and what we put down here when we're on our periods? I never thought about what I put down there until about two years ago. There's been a lot of social media in the last year or so. Yeah, very interesting.
[00:33:15:20 - 00:34:21:03]
Kelly:
Yeah, I don't think it even really started with sustainability in mind. It was just a fact that I needed something for bladder leaks more than anything. Obviously, you can't wear a tampon for bladder leaks, but I couldn't wear pads. It was more a case of I can't wear pads. It was your health, wasn't it? Because of my health. I would always get a BV. I would, you know, thrush, the snotters, things like that. It was very uncomfortable playing sports with a pad moving about as well. It became apparent to me, having four teenage girls in the house, that I was throwing away a bag of used sanitary pads and sanitary tails every single week. So I thought, well, this is just our house. So, and they're expensive. Yeah, they're expensive as well for four girls. They're expensive. And then started to look into the stats of that and then realizing I think 200,000 tons of waste each year is produced just in the UK from period products alone. So yeah, that started to become a bit of a factor, I suppose, then. So it didn't start for me as a sustainability brand, sustainable brand. If you're a warrior. Yeah, I wasn't, but I am now. Yeah. So I think, you know, I mean, is it 180? Our knickers replace 180 to 200 pads.
[00:34:21:03 - 00:34:31:16]
Coni:
Yeah. It depends like what your stats that you're looking at, like how, how you're using them. Like obviously if it's for a bladder leak, but then the people, because some people wear pads every day, right? Or liners or something. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:34:31:16 - 00:34:33:14]
Host:
So it's like, even my granddad used to wear pads.
[00:34:33:14 - 00:34:36:09]
Kelly:
Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, well, we've got something else for that.
[00:34:36:09 - 00:34:36:09]
Host:
Yeah.
[00:34:36:09 - 00:34:37:13]
Kelly:
I'm not sure.
[00:34:38:13 - 00:34:45:19]
Kelly:
Yeah. But I mean, I think it's every person will use about 11,000 disposable pads or tampons in their lifetime. Wow.
[00:34:45:19 - 00:35:43:10]
Coni:
So if you have a period or bladder leaks, so like as women, like if we want to try and look at the impact that we're having on the planet, then actually our period care is a massive, like can be a massive one to look at. But I think when we talk about sustainability, and again, I think like we really care about sustainability, but also we don't talk about it that as much as a brand in a weird way, because also like, it just, I don't know, like I think everyone should just be doing that. Like it should be like, aren't we amazing? Like we're doing this. It's like, yeah, like let's all move on and stop using disposable products in all areas of our life, right? There's all these reusable options now. But I think the more and more we talk about this stuff from a health perspective as well. Like I think that's massive. And like you just said, you had, you know, you had vaginal dryness and BV and stuff that was all connected. You used to get thrush after every period. And every single period. And we all just go like, oh yeah, like am I a peer? I'd get the canister now. And you're just like, oh, that's fine. No one stops to think, like could it be the products that I'm using? Oh my god, exactly. Around my period.
[00:35:43:10 - 00:35:59:07]
Host:
And actually using, when I was using organic tampons and stuff like that, that did make a massive difference. Yeah, so many years to figure that out. And guess what? I don't think, maybe in the bigger stores, but like they don't really do the organic ones unless you go to that Holland and Barrett, but they don't do them in like Tesco. No, no.
[00:35:59:07 - 00:36:09:17]
Coni:
If you were like, they started doing them. And you were just kind of like, I'm just in a shop and I just need to grab something here. Like, yeah, it's really hard to get hold of them. We work with brands like Grace and Green or like that.
[00:36:09:17 - 00:36:18:12]
Kelly:
Even when we're championing Grace and Green, people are like, they're so expensive. It's like, well, hang on a sec. You need to weigh up your health. Well, I'm spending 10 pounds a month on Caniston. Right.
[00:36:18:12 - 00:36:20:23]
Host:
Exactly. I'd rather use
[00:36:20:23 - 00:36:38:09]
Coni:
better products. Again, it's that mindset shift, isn't it? It's about being conscious, right? Like this is what it is all about. Like, if you care about what is going on in your body, right, you might start to be a bit more conscious about what you're eating. So you might look at like, actually, like, and again, there's nothing wrong with having the odd ultra processed this on your hair.
[00:36:39:10 - 00:36:39:15]
Host:
Exactly.
[00:36:39:15 - 00:37:18:08]
Coni:
Right. But if you're kind of like, okay, let me just start to think about what's going on my body. You think about what's going on your food and you might start to look at these ultra processed foods and what are all these ingredients. I didn't know that there's so much sugar in there. So much this or there's so much like additives and just chemicals basically. But people think about what's going on in their mouths, but they don't always think about what's going on in their vagina. Like they're just like, and it's an organ. It's an organ. It's like one of the most absorbent organs in the body. Yeah. Right. And if you are putting pads or like or tampons inside you, you know, cotton every, every, every month for, you know, say like a week a month for like four decades. It's like, that's a lot of exposure to these things.
[00:37:18:08 - 00:37:24:20]
Host:
Especially if they don't have the right chemicals in, which some brands obviously do, but there are some brands out there that don't.
[00:37:24:20 - 00:38:03:09]
Coni:
And also I will say as well, like there are some studies coming out that, you know, like there's arsenic and there's lead and there's these things. And obviously that's, it's fascinating and it's a bit scary. But I always say to people, I was like, look, like we need to look at this in sort of like, no one's going to use a tampon and get lead poisoning. No. Don't think, don't quote me on that. But you know, that isn't what we're saying here, but I think it's about, it's about sustained exposure to these things and how can we limit the toxins. And actually if there is a simple swap and we always say like swap into period underwear, great, like amazing. But also if you do want to use tampons and pads, that's fine. And just maybe spend an extra few quid on some organic.
[00:38:03:09 - 00:38:03:22]
Host:
When you can,
[00:38:05:03 - 00:38:13:21]
Host:
I think it's just making the small changes. Sometimes I go back to using maybe like ones that aren't natural. If I'm in a petrol station, I'm not going to die. I'm going to be fine.
[00:38:15:03 - 00:38:28:12]
Kelly:
But it's true what you said though, you know, so many women now are turning around saying that they've changed from disposables to reusables and are finding that their periods aren't as heavy, then they're painful, then it's long. You know, I don't know if there's any tests or anything.
[00:38:28:12 - 00:38:47:00]
Coni:
I mean, we need more research into this stuff, like women's health brackets general, but like anecdotally, I mean, we do a lot of work with the end of the interoasis community and you know, you'll have these chats with people and they're like saying what you just said, like, you know, God, yeah, I swapped to a sustainable or I swapped to reusables and I noticed a massive difference in just how my period was.
[00:38:47:00 - 00:38:53:23]
Host:
I mean, the fact when you were designing, who designed the endo pants that you guys have? Oh, they have like ones without without a waistband.
[00:38:53:23 - 00:39:08:13]
Coni:
Yeah, I mean, yeah, we designed them with the end of the endo-mete-chosis foundation with Carla. So she, yeah, so they're called, all of our knickers are named after women in our lives. We haven't got Alicia yet. Maybe we could at some point. We'll have to play your cards right. Dreams, new Camuchoo.
[00:39:08:13 - 00:39:10:07]
Host:
Can a festival please.
[00:39:10:07 - 00:39:22:23]
Coni:
But yeah, but Carla Crassie, yeah, we called the Carla knicker after Carla and we made it with the endo-mete-chosis foundation. So it's a heavier period, but we did change some of the designs because a lot of these women had the waistband, wasn't it?
[00:39:22:23 - 00:39:24:01]
Kelly:
With the star.
[00:39:24:01 - 00:39:29:12]
Host:
When I've had a bloated month, I love my Carla's. Yeah, exactly.
[00:39:30:13 - 00:39:37:22]
Coni:
And you know, and that's the thing, like we, it's all about giving women more choice. You know, I think it's about giving more choice and giving them more information. Have you got knickers with you?
[00:39:37:22 - 00:39:41:11]
Kelly:
Have you actually? All clean ones. Oh my God, they're down there.
[00:39:41:11 - 00:39:45:04]
Coni:
Show them to that camera over there. Here's, are they in?
[00:39:45:04 - 00:39:49:04]
Host:
Are they the Carla? They're the Carla. But look at them at the back. That is the Carla. This is the Carla.
[00:39:49:04 - 00:39:54:17]
Coni:
I didn't know. Yeah, so they have got, well, Kel, you talked about, you're much better than what you're seeing.
[00:39:54:17 - 00:39:56:09]
Kelly:
I can't move because of the mic. I'll get in trouble.
[00:39:56:09 - 00:39:58:17]
Host:
Some people will be listening without video.
[00:39:58:17 - 00:40:02:12]
Coni:
There's some really lovely knickers that we're showing the camera.
[00:40:02:12 - 00:40:28:00]
Kelly:
So ours have like a discreetly designed gusset at the bottom there. So other period knickers go across all the way up to the top, which makes them quite bulky, but as it underneath the crack of the bum, so they can't be seen underneath tight gym leggings. And we've got that seamless scalloped edging, which makes them completely invisible. But there's an elasticated seam in the middle that holds the knickers in place. So they don't move when you're moving. They don't move. No, very, very good for sport and exercise. Which means that this doesn't rub or change.
[00:40:28:00 - 00:40:33:20]
Coni:
And super comfy. I think you just want to forget that you're on your period on your period. Ultimately, you know, you just want to put them on.
[00:40:33:20 - 00:40:36:20]
Kelly:
You talk to me about periods all the time. I don't remember periods anymore.
[00:40:36:20 - 00:40:43:20]
Coni:
But you just want to be like, if you've got a, you don't want to be thinking, Oh God, I've got to pack my pad. I've got to change my pad.
[00:40:43:20 - 00:41:06:23]
Kelly:
I literally have to wear these every single day. I have to wear an absorbent gusset every single day because I've got, I've got like stress and urgent continents. I've always got also got an overactive ladder. And I'm training for the London marathon. So like I'm putting a lot of pressure on my pelvic floor. I wore a pair of knickers the other day without an absorbent gusset and literally pissed through my trousers. So I can get a lot of work.
[00:41:09:08 - 00:41:09:13]
Kelly:
So yeah,
[00:41:10:20 - 00:41:17:19]
Kelly:
I mean, we've got so many women that come back and buy it again and again, who have changed their whole knicker draw to these because you never know.
[00:41:17:19 - 00:41:30:06]
Coni:
The only time in the last say five years I've worn non-knick knickers was on my wedding day. Because I thought, you know what, I'm getting married. Let's try and be a little bit in my period underwear.
[00:41:31:09 - 00:41:43:08]
Coni:
And I wet myself on the dance floor. No, no. So she does a lot of drinks together. A lot of drinks. I was dancing. I was very excited. And I pissed myself and I was like, right. Again, that's where that'll end me. That'll end you.
[00:41:43:08 - 00:41:47:20]
Host:
That's stunning. God, well, you were like, yeah, let the biggest day of your life. You should have worn the knickers. Why would you?
[00:41:47:20 - 00:41:56:13]
Coni:
Well, we hadn't got cream now. We wore out cream. She's not a very good advocate for the brand. We have so many brides. So they wore them for their weddings. We've got cream Carla.
[00:41:56:13 - 00:42:07:05]
Host:
I'm having to worry about leaking on your wedding day. Well, you don't. And actually I've never leaked, never, ever, ever leaked. And I've worn these, I know, like, is it three tampons worth of blood?
[00:42:07:05 - 00:42:08:20]
Coni:
Yeah. Well, depends on the day.
[00:42:08:20 - 00:42:13:15]
Host:
Yeah. I've worn them probably for far longer than I should have on one day. Still great.
[00:42:13:15 - 00:42:39:08]
Coni:
Still great. It's like your period shouldn't hold you back. Like ultimately, like, and again, like I think we've talked about this, you know, ad nauseam today, but like, obviously, if it is holding you back, please go see a doctor. Like let that be the headline. But just talk to somebody. Or talk to somebody. Don't leave it to your 39. But if you, but generally speaking, we should be able to like do, go about our day and enjoy our life. Like it shouldn't be that one week a month, we're sort of bedridden and like, and stressed to go out.
[00:42:39:08 - 00:42:42:13]
Host:
And I, for those listening, our DMS are always open.
[00:42:42:13 - 00:42:43:11]
Coni:
Oh my God.
[00:42:43:11 - 00:42:49:05]
Host:
Like if you ever need, if you feel worried talking about to anyone in your like physical realm, we are here.
[00:42:49:05 - 00:43:12:19]
Kelly:
Lovely as well. When we do events, we go out and do like the running event and places like that. And you see women walking around and they spot us and there's a crowd of women and you can see them go around and around because they want to come and talk, but they, they just like feel embarrassed. And so many women have come up and we've had really candid conversations and I felt really embarrassed talking about all the issues that I've had at the beginning. I very openly talk about everything now. Everyone knows everything about my body.
[00:43:12:19 - 00:43:16:01]
Host:
I pissed myself on my wedding day. And I have a driver driver.
[00:43:17:01 - 00:43:44:15]
Kelly:
So Connie likes to say, but, um, so, you know, but just opening up and having those conversations makes other women feel less alone. And that's what I love about us. Everyone knows that us as a brand, we are really authentic. We, we talk about these subjects, not just because we think it's great for the business because we're really passionate about it. And it's something that's happened to us and something that we're still going through. Um, and it makes people, women feel less alone, doesn't it? And I'm really proud of the fact that we do that.
[00:43:44:15 - 00:44:07:07]
Host:
I can both see that you just don't want other people to go through what you have. Exactly. And that's kind of how I feel with like PMDD and like, I think we have had a conversation recently about like PMDD and stuff like that. And it's, that's where, that's your, that's your why. You're like, I don't want anyone to feel this way and to have years of pain and heavy periods and think it's normal. Like that's not, that's not okay. And we don't, we don't want that. We want the next generation to grow up.
[00:44:07:07 - 00:44:12:19]
Coni:
And I do think that like, as women, we're the ones that can change this. Like, it would be incredible.
[00:44:12:19 - 00:44:14:04]
Host:
One conversation can change everything.
[00:44:14:04 - 00:44:28:16]
Coni:
Like systemically, like we need change. Like we need better funding for women's health research. We need better research. We need better training. Like of course we need those things, but the conversations are just like your average women can have, can change someone's life. Over a coffee.
[00:44:28:16 - 00:44:29:03]
Host:
Yeah.
[00:44:29:03 - 00:44:34:07]
Coni:
Like you can say one thing to one woman and then that can change their whole trajectory of how they're approaching that.
[00:44:34:07 - 00:45:19:18]
Kelly:
We're not experts are we, but we've got lived experience of these issues. And I think women really appreciate that. So get girls and women will come to us. And if we don't know the answer, we know where to signpost them because we've been doing this for so long now. But I love, I love when we get a message from someone, you know, even if it's just asking advice or just telling us you've changed our life and some of the reviews we get are really candid as well. Aren't that candid? It's just, it's I honestly, I want to, I do cry. I mean, I'm going to cry so much when we get just the most beautiful emails or we get the most beautiful conversations with women at events. It just makes me feel like this is what I was putting here for. This is why I went through all of these issues. This is my why, why? This is like, it kind of makes everything worthwhile. Cause I know that we're making such a difference. Definitely. I love that.
[00:45:21:22 - 00:45:28:22]
Host:
Are you ready to be agony on? Oh my God.
[00:45:28:22 - 00:45:34:06]
Coni:
I think, you know, one day I want to sell the business and just become a full-time agony. I just want to have a column.
[00:45:34:06 - 00:45:36:02]
Kelly:
I just want to run a women's football club.
[00:45:37:12 - 00:45:38:01]
Host:
I love it.
[00:45:39:01 - 00:45:43:07]
Host:
Right. So we have one here from the all-anominous, obviously. I have one here from a 15 year old.
[00:45:44:07 - 00:46:13:07]
Host:
Hey, I'm 15 and I'm honestly so excited to listen to this episode because school has taught me basically nothing useful about my periods. I play netball every week. And sometimes when I run and jump, I feel like I might leak or something is not quite right down there. I don't really know how to explain it properly. And it makes me feel really awkward. I don't really feel like I have anyone I can talk to about this. Is this normal? And how do you even look after your pelvic floor when you're young? Because no one has ever mentioned this to us. And I just feel super lost and confused.
[00:46:13:07 - 00:46:16:06]
Kelly:
This is the thing again, isn't it? So we talk about periods being taboo.
[00:46:17:11 - 00:46:18:03]
Kelly:
But like, lads and lees.
[00:46:18:03 - 00:46:18:21]
Coni:
Lads and lees and teenagers.
[00:46:18:21 - 00:46:23:05]
Kelly:
I've never heard of that before. It's actually, it's not as rare as you think it is.
[00:46:23:05 - 00:46:34:21]
Coni:
Especially if you're sporty. Yeah. Like if you're like, I can't remember the start off the top of my head, but elite athletes are much more likely. 63%, 61, 63%. Don't, because you can't link to it.
[00:46:34:21 - 00:46:35:14]
Kelly:
I don't want to get into it.
[00:46:35:14 - 00:46:49:10]
Coni:
But they are more. And there's various studies like, you know, with different sports, but basically people that do sport a lot are more likely to have pelvic floor dysfunction than someone that hasn't. And that's not necessarily because they've had a baby or they're older.
[00:46:49:10 - 00:46:59:06]
Host:
Do you know Baz Moffat? Yeah, I was with her earlier on in the week. Obviously ex-Olympic rower. She was like, my pelvic floor was absolutely effed. And she was like, I was an Olympian.
[00:46:59:06 - 00:47:03:18]
Kelly:
And I was like, wow. God, every time I see Baz, I'm like, Baz, this is happening down there. Is that right?
[00:47:03:18 - 00:47:08:06]
Host:
She's amazing. She's like, pick up your back passage as if you're picking up a bean.
[00:47:09:11 - 00:47:37:00]
Coni:
I mean, yeah, the well, you know, with Baz, so she runs well, I think they are an incredible resource for like anything like this. And I think it's coming back to the dilemma. I think, okay, so let's answer a few questions here. Is it normal? Yes and no. I would say it's more common than you might realise, but that doesn't mean it's something that should be ignored. A bit like we say with pain shouldn't be ignored, your period, wetting yourself shouldn't be ignored when you're wetting yourself, whether you've had a baby or whether you're a teenager. So I think definitely if you are leaking, you should try and seek some help. Yeah.
[00:47:37:00 - 00:47:44:19]
Kelly:
So I mean, when we say leaking, we're not talking like full on wee, even a couple of drops that that's like leaking and wetting yourself basically.
[00:47:44:19 - 00:47:58:15]
Coni:
And that's not normal. Exactly. So I mean, we work with an incredible women's health physio called Jenny and we've actually, we've got a few different though, but Jenny's seen your vagina. Jenny's. So Jenny's your female self-physio. She's not just seen it.
[00:47:59:16 - 00:48:09:18]
Coni:
But yeah, I think if that is something that is accessible to somebody, I think going to see a women's health physio is amazing. If that's something that people can do.
[00:48:09:18 - 00:48:14:21]
Kelly:
And what I didn't realise was that girls and boys should be doing their pelvic floor exercises from about 13 anyway.
[00:48:14:21 - 00:48:23:21]
Host:
I also, Baz, taught me a fact this week that a lot of the men in the English rugby team have been wetting themselves in a rugby scrum and no one's been talking about it.
[00:48:23:21 - 00:48:24:02]
Coni:
Yeah.
[00:48:24:02 - 00:48:26:17]
Host:
So pelvic floor is a problem for all.
[00:48:26:17 - 00:48:48:09]
Coni:
A lot of the sports teams that we go into, we're often primarily brought in because the players are struggling with bladder leaks rather than periods. And then we end up talking about both. So sorry. So with this young girl, I would say try not to be embarrassed even though we get that it's a bit confusing. Talk to somebody. Try and talk to somebody. And I think Pilates is really helpful as well.
[00:48:48:09 - 00:48:50:04]
Host:
Yeah, call some YouTube if you don't call it Pilates.
[00:48:50:04 - 00:48:55:17]
Coni:
Anything, Pilates. So you can definitely, it's never too young to be doing your key goals. But I think that some-
[00:48:55:17 - 00:49:35:06]
Kelly:
There are actually, there's some, so I just saw Jenny last week, funnily enough, because I guess I'm training for marathon and I'm wetting myself every time I'm running. But she's taught me there's some really great exercises. So I do my pelvic floor exercises standing up, because generally I used to do them laying down, I'd be in bed and I'll do them. But standing up is almost like that gravity thing, but she's given me some really good exercises. And I said to Jenny, I want to do a live with her for everyone, all the women that are running the London marathon who are worried about that. So she can show us the exercises that she showed me that I've forgotten already how to do. So she can re-remind me how to do them. We can help other women. So there are some really good exercises that you can do for high impact that can really help with your pelvic floor as well.
[00:49:35:06 - 00:49:51:21]
Host:
I think if you feel ashamed to talk to somebody maybe around you, I would recommend that you do, but I would also say the best thing she could possibly start with. It's like a YouTube that were like, absolutely pelvic floor workout that she could just try for the next few months or something. We're not experts, but that could be quite a good-
[00:49:51:21 - 00:50:18:00]
Coni:
And then also, I think as she gets older and especially she plays netball, so like if she wants to play at a higher level, just remember that core workout. It can just be like, oh, I'm going to netball and then I'm coming home and I'm not doing sport for the rest of the week, but actually what can you do in between to support your core? So I think, yeah, looking at some Kegel exercises on YouTube, but also just looking at some core exercises, I think. Because I think when I've spoken to Jenny, it's like, yes, do your Kegels, but what's going on with your glutes? What's going on with this? It's all connected.
[00:50:19:02 - 00:50:24:07]
Kelly:
Oh my God, yeah, strengthen your glutes definitely. That really, really helps. And sadly, you'll have to wear our knickers.
[00:50:24:07 - 00:50:28:03]
Host:
Not sadly. Oh yeah, you can get some knick-sies.
[00:50:28:03 - 00:50:31:06]
Coni:
Let's drop us a message and we'll- Drop the video. Yeah, we'll help out.
[00:50:31:06 - 00:50:37:22]
Host:
We'll sort you out. Well, we both, we all really hope you're okay. Yes. What you're going through is very, it isn't- It's more common than
[00:50:37:22 - 00:50:40:08]
Coni:
you might realize, but definitely just-
[00:50:40:08 - 00:50:45:03]
Host:
Well done for writing in as well. That's so brave. Okay, onto the next one.
[00:50:46:08 - 00:50:52:02]
Host:
Oh, I love this one. How do you make people understand that you're not being a psycho and it's your hormones?
[00:50:53:10 - 00:50:55:01]
Kelly:
Connie could answer that because I'm not a psycho.
[00:50:56:18 - 00:51:02:15]
Coni:
Well, I think sort of embrace the psycho is sort of my, sort of my approach. No, I think that-
[00:51:04:00 - 00:52:22:22]
Coni:
Let me think about how to answer this. So I think that being called quote unquote hormonal or a psycho, all these kinds of things, they're just these negative connotations to kind of like belittle what women are experiencing. So I actually think what's really cool in patterning is to teach people about the menstrual cycle. So like, it's actually so cool. Like women get this like monthly reminder of what's going on and we feel different in different ways and we've got superpowers at different ways. And I think that if we're just focusing on, you know, maybe the couple of days a month, but the hormones have got a bit too much and we're, you know, crying and whatever, which like I'm there with you, like I'm a hundred percent that. But if we just focus on that part, then it can be seen like a negative thing. And actually, if we look at the whole month, like it's incredible. Like what do you mean that there's a part of my cycle that I would be more likely to get a raise or like a job or whatever, like, because my communication skills are better. Like what do you mean there's like a part of my cycle that I'm more likely to attract like a partner? Like that is so cool. And we've shown all of this when I appear. It's so amazing. And so it's like, actually, when you explain that to people or even just yourself, and you're just like, yeah, okay, maybe there's a couple of days that I'm not my best, but the rest of the time I've got superpowers going on. It just feels like a wu wu doesn't it?
[00:52:22:22 - 00:52:24:10]
Kelly:
It feels like total wu wu.
[00:52:24:10 - 00:52:25:08]
Host:
But it's also science.
[00:52:25:08 - 00:53:07:13]
Coni:
It's so interesting. And I think like, that's when I go into schools and like, and I'm teaching the girls, I was just saying to you earlier, wasn't I? I was like, I try and explain to the girls a bit about the mental cycle. And so I'm just, and then to do that, you've got to explain about hormones. And obviously, when you're talking to girls that are younger, it can be a little bit of information overload. So I try and make it like really simple. I'm like, let's talk about the pop girls. So I say, estrogen is your Sabrina Carpenter and your Taylor Swift. Gorgeous. And progesterone is your Billie Eilish and your Olivia Rodrigo. So it's like Taylor and Sabrina are like sparkly and fancy and like out on stage. And then Olivia is a bit more angry and Billie's a little bit more insular. Yeah. And so I explained the hormones like that. And then I'm like, so the first half of your cycle, you're going to feel like Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter.
[00:53:07:13 - 00:53:10:03]
Host:
A bit softer. A bit softer, a bit more, a bit
[00:53:10:03 - 00:53:17:04]
Coni:
more like whimsical. Yeah. And happier and kind of more energized. And then in the second half of cycle, you're going to feel like Billie Eilish and Olivia Rodrigo.
[00:53:17:04 - 00:53:18:06]
Host:
A bit more of a rock star.
[00:53:18:06 - 00:53:22:10]
Coni:
Yeah. And that's still cool. That's still cool. Because you don't take any shit in your lead to your face, which I love.
[00:53:22:10 - 00:53:39:17]
Kelly:
I love this role when you explain about the fact that like working out around your period as well. So no, sometimes you've got to take it a little bit easier. So you just like do a bit of yoga, a bit of walking, a bit of stretching. And you'll be better at different things. Yes. So anyway, sorry, what's that other stat that you say? So when you're on your period, your reactions are quicker.
[00:53:39:17 - 00:54:01:05]
Coni:
Yeah, we talk about that. Yeah, your reactions are quicker on your again, like this, the studies are really small, but like your reaction, your anticipation skills are better and stuff like that. So yeah, I mean, I think that when I stopped like being embarrassed talking about my hormones and my cycles when I geeked out on this and I like learn all about it, you start to harness it and you start to harness it and you start to realize
[00:54:01:05 - 00:54:13:19]
Host:
it's really cool. You also then have a bit of a fight for when someone does call you a psycho. Because I'm sorry if anyone around me could dare, dared called me a psycho before my period now. Oh my God, they'll be out the room in a second. I don't want them near me.
[00:54:13:19 - 00:54:28:09]
Coni:
I think you've put all this information and you've got stuff. And I think like, yeah, it's, um, I guess it's about reclaiming it a little bit. It's just like, I'm not going to be just told like, oh, women are so hormonal. You're like, yeah, I actually am. Let me, let me sit you down and give you a Ted talk on why I'm so hormonal.
[00:54:28:09 - 00:54:37:01]
Kelly:
Because I've actually got all this stuff and I can have women's hormones. Our lives go up and down like that. Don't they? Men are just like, they have a 24 hour cycle.
[00:54:37:01 - 00:54:48:09]
Coni:
So it's completely different. So yeah. So I would say when people, if people are being dismissive or rude about that sort of thing, I would say, sit them down, bombard them, bombard them with information.
[00:54:48:09 - 00:55:02:13]
Host:
That's what I do. I would. And do you know what? I would, if someone is calling you a psycho, especially within your relationship, I would, yeah, I would reach out to one of your friends and have a conversation about whether your partner is supporting you in other areas.
[00:55:02:13 - 00:55:03:23]
Coni:
Was it their partner? I didn't even hear that.
[00:55:03:23 - 00:55:11:02]
Host:
Well, no, they didn't say partner. They just said, how do I, how do I make people understand? Yeah. So it could be your partner or your family, but I just
[00:55:11:02 - 00:55:27:01]
Coni:
think, and again, partners are a really interesting one because like, if you can bring like a partner on the journey of understanding like hormonal cycles, like my husband is so great now because he'll be like, I'll be a bit tired. And he's like, if you just got into your little phase, you understand.
[00:55:28:07 - 00:55:37:18]
Coni:
Rather than like, are you doing your period? You're being really moody. It's like, well, the pain is in town. He's like, you just entered your luteal phase. I can sense that you are a bit tired today.
[00:55:37:18 - 00:55:58:05]
Host:
I also love when I had a partner is like Stardust how you can connect it up and see if your partner seen your daily like forecast. So you can see every day you get a forecast. This is where they're out. Today you're bloated in your, you can't, you're concentrated and it will be like, it will send one to your partner to basically be great. And I used to be like, Dylan, I'd be like, why haven't you looked at my Stardust?
[00:55:58:05 - 00:56:02:14]
Coni:
Also love Stardust because if you're going to use an app, don't use one that's going to sell your data.
[00:56:02:14 - 00:56:21:10]
Host:
Exactly. Amen to that. Amen to that. Okay. We are now on to our quick fire questions. It's like, which I've tried to say 50 times and I can't say quick fire questions. Are you ready to feel fiery? Yes. Yes. It's a year of the fire hall. It is. Oh my God. Happy year of the fire hall set everyone by the way. This is the first episode in the fire hall. So best episode yet.
[00:56:21:10 - 00:56:23:06]
Coni:
Oh my God. That's why I've been out of the game.
[00:56:24:15 - 00:56:36:10]
Host:
So do you want to do, do you want to answer, should we do one, this three? So let's do, let's do one, one and then together. So the first one, I'm going to put this out to Kelly. One change you'd make to the healthcare system.
[00:56:36:10 - 00:56:56:22]
Kelly:
And I would change, and this is not going to be very quick, but I would change the fact that women's, um, the women just aren't listened to. That's, that's what makes me really mad is we're just poo poo'd all the time. Yeah. Um, so I would change the fact that women need to be listened to and not poo poo'd basically. Great. Sorry. That was it. Believe women.
[00:56:56:22 - 00:56:59:11]
Host:
Believe in yourself.
[00:57:01:14 - 00:57:02:16]
Host:
No,
[00:57:05:16 - 00:57:10:10]
Host:
I totally agree with you, but yeah, start listening because we actually have quite a lot of good things to say, I think.
[00:57:10:10 - 00:57:12:09]
Coni:
Yeah. And we know our bodies better than anyone.
[00:57:12:09 - 00:57:17:03]
Kelly:
That's exactly it. That was what I wanted to say. Yeah. That was a very quick fire.
[00:57:17:03 - 00:57:30:08]
Host:
Connie, if you could meet your younger self and give them like a little letter, just that just had like maybe a paragraph or something on there or a word or anything, you could just hand them over something. What would it say?
[00:57:31:15 - 00:57:38:23]
Coni:
I think it would say that the things that people make you try and make you feel bad about are often your superpower.
[00:57:40:00 - 00:58:12:18]
Coni:
And I think that can be a personality thing, but I think it can also be all the stuff we talked about today, like hormones and being open and you know, because I was at school, I kind of grew up really open and I think some people were like, who is this girl that's like just really open, like talking about stuff and it can make you shrink. But I think actually we need more of that in life. So I think, yeah, I think just, and again with hormones, harness the things that make people try and make you feel silly and small about, which I think people do with women all the time. Yeah. And actually they're probably the things that are going to make your life so much happier and fuller if you embrace them.
[00:58:12:18 - 00:58:17:09]
Host:
And make you you. Exactly. I love that. I really love that. Okay. Last one.
[00:58:19:20 - 00:58:22:14]
Host:
What are your biggest personal health challenges you faced?
[00:58:22:14 - 00:58:24:07]
Coni:
Oh God, I thought we thought.
[00:58:24:07 - 00:58:25:12]
Host:
I feel like we've got.
[00:58:25:12 - 00:58:28:01]
Kelly:
Just give me a list.
[00:58:30:11 - 00:59:07:11]
Kelly:
I think mine was just the whole not knowing what was wrong with my body and then being diagnosed with all of these things. And yeah, and actually still now I've got a lot of stuff medically going on with me. And there's some obviously something underlying and we still don't know what that is. And we've actually got a junior doctor living with us at the moment. Oh, amazing. No foster children. We have to have another child that's come to live with us. And he talks about looking for zebras. So looking for like none of the doctors I've only one doctor recently is looking out of the box, not just looking at treating the symptoms I've got, but looking at why I have the symptoms I have.
[00:59:07:11 - 00:59:09:02]
Coni:
And look at them all together.
[00:59:09:02 - 00:59:30:04]
Kelly:
How can they be linked? Because I've got so many different things going on with me at the moment. And she's actually looking at everything as a whole rather than individually what's going on with me. So I honestly, I'm really fit and healthy. I feel really fit and healthy, but I feel like I've had one thing after another since I was 14 wrong with me. That's so tiring.
[00:59:30:04 - 00:59:31:16]
Host:
It's really tiring. Yeah.
[00:59:31:16 - 01:00:06:11]
Kelly:
And just having the, I feel like now I've got, I was going to answer that second question because I had a word for that. Audacious. Like I feel like I need to, I am being more audacious. I'm standing up for myself. I'm not just accepting what people say. I'm not, no, even though I was at the hospital for 10 hours the other week and I was, nobody was listening to me. I was audacious and in the end, I got what I thought I needed, which I didn't need. No, but because nobody was looking into it, but that was because I was audacious and I stood up for myself. I still haven't got answers, but yeah, it's by the by. It's eventually we'll get there. Yeah.
[01:00:06:11 - 01:00:43:13]
Coni:
And I think mine is, I think that the link between hormones and mental health, I think then just needs to be so much more understanding and support out there because also are we looking at everything else that's going on? Like, are we talking about these other kind of options? And I think that, again, luck of the draw, as we talked about quite a lot today, I think you can get people that really understand to ask about the subtleties of what's going on with you. And I just think I'd like to see more of that, I think in healthcare. I think that we need to be able to look at things holistically as well as when do we need to put medication into the...
[01:00:43:13 - 01:00:44:18]
Host:
I want to take a bit from both. Totally.
[01:00:44:18 - 01:01:08:19]
Coni:
And exactly. And I think I was talking to someone the other day and they were saying about PMDD and their doctor, I think was giving them medication at certain points in the cycle or, you know, and obviously like with the amazing stuff that Evelyn have, like, I think it's like, how can we just support our bodies? But I think we have to really understand that link between hormones and mental health before we can know how to sort of treat these conditions. Yeah. So that's definitely something that I'm like on a journey with at the moment.
[01:01:10:00 - 01:01:42:10]
Coni:
And I think because of your experience with menopause, like I'm aware that I'm sort of like, I want to... But do you know, I'm sort of like, right, I'm here now and my hormones are impacted by mental health. But if I don't sort that out at a foundational level, when I enter perimenopause, which could literally be in five years or it could be now really, you know, like I've got to know how to manage those things. I don't think me going on antidepressants in the short term is just going to solve that. So I think it's like, yeah, I think for me, it's looking at that holistic hormonal health piece and really how to support myself and then where to get support from the doctors when needed.
[01:01:42:10 - 01:01:45:17]
Host:
Wow. We're going to get there, girls. The
[01:01:45:17 - 01:01:47:04]
Coni:
three of us are going to do it. We're going to get there.
[01:01:47:04 - 01:02:04:12]
Host:
They're going to lock us in this pub-cull shoe day. All after me. Until we figure it out. Oh my goodness. We're going to wrap up now. Is there anything you want our listeners to take from this conversation today? I've had so much fun, honestly. It feels like we've been sat in a bar. I love it.
[01:02:04:12 - 01:02:17:02]
Coni:
If they take anything, I think pain is a sign from your body that something is not right. If you have painful, heavy periods, please don't ignore them. Please go and talk to someone about them. Don't wait like me until you're 39. Yeah.
[01:02:17:02 - 01:02:41:05]
Kelly:
And for me, it's arm yourself with as much information as you can. Educate yourself and be able to be strong enough to advocate yourself. And if you can't take somebody with you, I've always said you know your body better than anybody else. So just make sure that you're firm and you can get your word across them. Just be strong. And if you ever need anything, just reach out because we love to help people.
[01:02:41:05 - 01:02:57:22]
Coni:
And the thing about the products that you're putting, I think let's just be really... Let's learn to care about our periods in a nice way. So let's listen to what they're telling us, but also how do we manage them? And I think period care is really, really important when it comes to that. So you can check out Nixi's or
[01:02:57:22 - 01:03:00:23]
Host:
our friends at other brands. Do you want to give us your at?
[01:03:00:23 - 01:03:03:09]
Coni:
At Nixi Body, N-I-X-I Body.
[01:03:04:10 - 01:03:14:10]
Coni:
And I mean, it's generally me and Kel hanging out in the DM. So genuinely, if anyone ever has any questions, then we are always happy to chat. We are open books. Oh, we've got an open door policy.
[01:03:14:10 - 01:03:22:06]
Host:
And I think we know you're an open book. If you're not sure. I love you guys. Thank you so much for coming on.
[01:03:23:20 - 01:03:34:22]
Host:
And that's a wrap on another hormonal hotline episode. Please be sure to subscribe and please click the bell to get notifications. We cannot wait to have you back and thank you so much for coming.