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The Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem can be heard live on KBEAR 101 weekdays at 12pm MST. Viktor and Peaches talk about a wide variety of topics depending on the day and you never know what to expect!
[upbeat jazz music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. What's up, Peaches?
Happy Monday.
Oh, yeah, it's great.
Yay.
Loving it. Couldn't be more excited about the day.
I couldn't fall asleep last night 'cause it was just so dang hot.
Ah, dude. You gotta-
Dang hot
... you gotta call up them parents, be like, "I'm dying, Mom and Dad. I'm dying here."
No, I need more money for other things, like buying dull artwork. [laughs]
Yeah, I was gonna say, you bought a bunch of black and white paintings.
Not a bunch, just one.
Well, what about all those picture frames?
Th- those aren't paintings.
Either way, they're black and white art.
Yeah.
How much was each frame?
It was, it was on sale, actually. It was 60% off. It was 18 bucks.
For all six?
All six.
All right. Not too bad. What about the, uh, the art?
Uh, 24.
All right, so you're up to about 40 bucks.
Yeah.
You're getting closer to a floor model air conditioner, Peaches, with this useless dull art [laughs] you're putting up on your walls.
Like I told you off the air, I need to put in that bucket candle right there on the coffee table that smells like, uh, uh... What, what's that? W- patchouli? Is that what it is?
Um, I mean, that's a smell.
No, that's the smell that you made fun of before.
Yeah. I mean, if I smell patchouli, I'm like, "Where the hippies at?"
[laughs]
"I smell hippies in here."
[laughs]
"There's hippies around. Get the Slayer CD, hurry."
[laughs]
[laughs] "We gotta get 'em out of here." [laughs]
Uh, i- it was extremely hot yesterday. It was, like, 100 and whatever degrees.
Oh, it was miserable.
My friends invited me to their pool during the middle of the day.
Mm-hmm.
And I stupidly did not put on sunscreen on c- on certain parts of me.
[laughs]
So it looks like, it looks like I'm wearing, like, a red leg sleeve.
Oh, excellent. Excellent.
Yeah.
Yeah. Uh, Becca and her, uh, coworkers were all painting at the, uh, bar yesterday.
You chose the hottest day out of the year to go paint.
Uh, well, I went over there, I took a few pictures and was like, "Peace."
Good work. [laughs]
[laughs]
Way to do your job, Alibi.
I was like, "I'm n- I'm not doing it. I'm not gonna stand..." I wasn't feeling very good, so I was like, "I'm not gonna stand in the heat and paint. Sorry."
[laughs]
You know, it would be fun if it was 70 degrees out, but artistic Victor out the door, and I went and played some Red Dead for a bit. That, that's, that's art, Peaches.
Well, late last night, um-
Why don't you hang up black and white pictures of Arthur Morgan on your wall?
Sure, I'll do that.
That'd be really classy.
Yeah.
[laughs]
If they got 'em on sale at Ross, I'll buy 'em.
[laughs]
It's a nice, nice picture of Dutch, "I've got a plan, Arthur."
Now, don't get me started on plans.
But, uh, late last night, I, uh, decided, I'm like, you know, "It, it's cool enough. I'm gonna go for a walk around my friend Brian's neighborhood."
Okay.
I wanted to get that hill walk in. Big mistake, all right? It's dark out. I'm petrified. I'm listening to scary music. I keep turning around like I'm a schizophrenic.
[laughs]
"Are they behind me?"
Yeah, there's, there's coyotes out there and stuff, Peaches.
Uh, yeah, la- last time I, I was out there, not even in the dark, last time I was out there in broad daylight, somebody's goats were out.
[laughs]
And I was walking by, and all of a sudden I see this furry thing run across me. [screams]
[laughs]
And I sprinted.
[laughs]
[laughs] Well, goats are scary, man. They got those-
They are
... they got those crazy eyes.
And the goat just kept staring at me. I'm like, "What do you want, dude?"
And they'll attack people. They don't care.
Oh, they're, like, also baby goats, so if they hit my knee, it's not like it's-
Ah
... gonna do any damage.
You just give 'em the boot.
But I don't want the own-
Yeah
... the owners to come out and they see me kicking a goat away.
You might get shot.
Yeah.
This is Idaho, man.
The farmer John comes out with the shotgun, you know?
"Get off my property."
Right.
"You're kicking my sheep."
[laughs] "He's kicking my goat." But, uh, I was outside, uh, Brian's house, 'cause I always park right outside the front, right out front there.
Mm-hmm.
And all of his lights were on, and I, I thought he'd be in bed by then. It was, like, 10:40.
Yeah, that's pretty late.
10:40 PM, I'm like, "You know what? I'm gonna do it." It's, like, 75 degrees finally outside, cool enough for me to walk. Uh, well, I pull up in front of his house. I see him in the window putting together a cabinet, so I text him, "Hey, hey, buddy. Nice, nice cabinet."
[laughs]
And I put, I put the shh emoji next to it. And then he puts back the big eye emoji. He replies back, and I said, "No, no witnesses." [laughs] And I just walked away.
[laughs]
And, and then I, uh,
I called him after the, uh... What's it called? After I finished the whole route.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm like, "Brian, I still see you." I, uh, and, and-
[laughs]
... and he's like, "I can't see you through the window at all. It's like, it's like all I see is my reflection." So I get real close to his house. I tried seeing how close I could get before he finally saw me. And so then I, uh, I hid behind his garage, whi- which is, like, out of his view.
Mm-hmm.
And then all of a sudden I popped up around the corner. He jumps.
[laughs]
I... And he, he almost screams so loud that the dogs wake up, his wife wakes up. [laughs] I just turned the corner like a creepy movie villain.
Yeah, you never know who's walking around up in the hills, everybody.
It's c- it could be me listening to sad music, you know?
Yeah. You living in n- one of those areas without streetlights outside, you don't know who's out in that dark.
Uh, Brian, you know, he's, uh, uh, he- he's busy building a cabinet. He pays all this money for this nice house out there on the hill. Little did he know he was having to deal with a, with a, uh, uh... What, what, what's the word I'm looking for? A motivated Peaches, you know, walking around his neighborhood.
I was just gonna say a creep.
Uh, that, that too.
[laughs] Okay.
Peeping with Peaches.
[upbeat jazz music] It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. What up, Peaches?
Oh, nothing.
Well, over the weekend, I got thinking a little bit about movie budgets. I watched this movie called Undertow. Have you heard of this one?
Mm-mm.
All right. It's a new A24 movie. I guess you'd call it horror. Um-
So you're saying I'd hate it.
Uh, probably. And I would call the movie okay. I wouldn't watch it again, but maybe it's worth a watch. Uh, it's about a, uh, a podcaster who gets sent these mysterious files- And her and her co-host are, who are doing the show remotely, you know, they're each in a different location. They start playing these files, and then weird stuff starts happening. All right? Basic concept. It was fine, but the whole movie was filmed basically in one room with this, uh, woman sitting at her desk filming the podcast. You know, they did a really good job with the audio work, I'd say. Um, I would assume that's where most of the effort of the movie went, was ... But it was just in one room, basically, the whole movie. And there was only really,
I think there was two people that appeared on screen the whole movie. So you're like, all right, we got two actors and one location. How much could this cost to make? It was about $500,000, which
I don't know a lot about movie making. I know that's on the low end to make a, a professional film, 500 grand. But then I got thinking about, okay, Obsession cost about the same to make. Have you seen that yet?
Not yet, no.
Okay. That has a variety of locations, special effects. Um, you know, it, it's got a lot going on. I'm like, w- where does the money go when,
you know, you're dumping 500 grand on one movie compared to another? And then you look at these Hollywood movies that cost, like, $100 million to make, and is it all just the digital special effects or paying, you know, overpriced actors? And those movies end up bombing. You know? This Undertow movie, like, it wasn't that great, but it made, like, 20 million. I mean, a heck of a profit.
I think I'm just gonna start making movies at home, Peaches.
You have enough, you have $500,000 you wanna t- toss out?
No. I, I'm, I'm gonna figure out a way to do it even cheaper. You buy a nice camera. I'll get radio people to act. Figure out some kind of script that doesn't require, you know, fancy locations. And I'm gonna make some bank.
What was that movie that was shot entirely on an iPhone? Was it Birdman?
Oh, let's see.
And that seems like a terrible way to film a movie. Movie filmed on
... Eh.
Sean Baker's 2015 indie hit Tangerine.
Uh.
And then also Unsane. No, I think-
28 Years Later?
I think Birdman was just one continuous shot, and that was like-
Oh, that's right
... the big deal, you know?
Yeah. 28 Years Later was shot on an iPhone, huh? Huh. Interesting.
Didn't that one bomb?
I think it did. [laughs] I don't know if any of these movies did great. Um-
You know what movies I really hate, are the ones that are, like, just entirely a video call.
Yeah.
Like, what's that movie, Unfriended?
Yeah. I saw a movie like that, and you're like, how much did this cost to make? Couldn't have cost much of anything.
There was one about a, a, a man and his daughter. His daughter goes missing, and the dad is looking for the daughter but he's entirely just on the computer trying to find the abductor.
Oh, that sounds familiar, but I don't know.
I know the, the latest War of the Worlds remake, that was one of ... That's considered to be one of the worst movies of all time with, uh, Ice Cube.
Yeah.
And it was entirely on a video call.
For real?
Yeah.
I hadn't watched it at all. Huh. Yeah, I, I think Hollywood needs to take a note here, 'cause another movie I watched over the weekend was, uh, Napoleon Dynamite, which I've seen a million times. That cost, like, 400 grand to make, and it e- even had, like, actual stars in it. It had, uh ... You know, I know Jon Heder wasn't a star at the time, the guy who plays Napoleon, but it had, uh
... W- What's her name? She's a pop star.
Hilary Duff.
Oh.
She was in it. It had, uh, the guy who played Uncle Rico. He'd been in movies. Uh, and then the guy who played the, like, karate instructor. I know he has a really brief role in it, but, you know, he, he was a real star. So
I don't know. I just don't know how some of these movies spend so much money to make them, and then they still bomb, you know? I'd say shoot low and hope that it blows up. Hell, 'cause Napoleon Dynamite, they definitely made a big profit on that. [laughs] Still, still a popular movie. So it was a good watch over the weekend.
Best Idaho movie of all time.
I know you uploaded, like, a, a, a video on our Facebook page.
Just a quick clip while I was watching it.
But you recorded your TV.
Yes.
And then p- [laughs] put it up. [laughs]
It was a very quick ... Bam, bam. There we go. Social content. Napoleon Dynamite dancing. [laughs]
You couldn't have just grabbed a clip online? No, just had to record the TV like a boomer. You reminded me of my, uh-
Yeah, I'm lazy
... of my basketball coach that would take pictures of his computer screen, of, like, a picture on Facebook.
Mm-hmm.
He would take a picture with his phone and then re-upload it to Facebook. [laughs] It was just a-
[laughs]
... his, his computer screen, uh, being re-shared.
Well, that's what I'm gonna start doing next, Peaches. [laughs]
[laughs] No kidding.
All effort out the door. [upbeat music] It's the noon hour of madness and mayhem. And what's happening, Peaches?
Have you seen the game Paint Drying Simulator on Steam?
Okay. No, I haven't, but that sounds like the worst game of all time.
It's 99 cents, and you, uh, choose what color you want this wall to be painted.
Mm-hmm.
Then a timer pops up, a legitimate timer, and it goes for six hours, and you can watch this paint dry.
Hence why it's called-
How many copies have they sold?
Uh, it just came out not that long ago. I have no clue. My friend Eric bought it Um, there's also Coconut Simulator, where you just, you're just a coconut on a beach, and you sit there. And you can also turn on realistic mode, and that means the, uh, coconuts have no eyes, so all you see is a black screen.
[laughs]
The same guy has made Banana Life Simulator, where you're just a banana sitting there, and you ripen, and then you turn brown, and that's about it. You know, that's how it goes. Um,
Jade's walking in here.
Oh, boy. Speaking of something as exciting as watching paint dry, we got Jade in the house. Uh, Josh, but we don't have a Vox Pro screen, so you're gonna have to share with Peaches.
Hello.
[laughs]
[laughs]
Uh, we were just talking about the video game Paint Drying Simulator, which sounds about as exciting as a video game Jade would play. [laughs]
Yeah.
There's some dumb games out there nowadays, like, uh, Power Wash Simulator.
Yeah, yeah.
Stupid.
There's also Leaf Me Alone-
There's a-
... where you just pick up leaves
... unless you can power wash the bathroom. What are you guys doing while I'm gone?
Uh, oh, you weren't here for that. [laughs]
No. [laughs]
And so we didn't get to ask you if we could even read that email on air-
[laughs]
... 'cause it's one of the funniest emails I've ever gotten at work.
It's an amazing email. [laughs]
It's an amazing email. And of course, I mean, we were ... That was all we were talking about all day-
[laughs]
... that day
We were gonna put it into Inspirational Messages II with the whole email.
Yeah. [laughs]
[laughs]
So, boss man, are we even allowed to talk about that whatsoever?
Well, it-
'Cause, you know-
... could be an issues reported because of what Josh found this morning, too. We could tie it all in.
Okay. Josh-
Are you snooping in the bathroom just, like, trying to find like-
[laughs]
Okay. Josh needs to s- uh, share a mic with Jade. Let's take a quick break-
All right
... and I gotta get the scoop on whatever you guys are talking about. [upbeat music] This is the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm Victor.
I'm Peaches.
Jade Davison. Hey, it's Josh Tyler.
All right.
You're gonna be very classy. [laughs]
[laughs]
I, I love how Josh needs to go on his tiptoes to reach the microphone.
Yeah, I know. I, I brought it down to me.
[laughs]
He's a good height, Josh Tyler. Taller than that, you suck. All right. Um, what you got, Josh?
July marks the official return of Flush Smart Month.
[laughs]
[laughs]
[laughs]
I, I can think of a local business-
[laughs]
... that you can send this article to-
Like a news story
... and they could, yeah, maybe repost it. [laughs]
[laughs]
Or read it at least. [laughs]
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh, so there is a group that has started Bathroom Booty Camp.
Bathroom Booty Camp?
Yes. A boot camp for how to use the bathroom properly.
[laughs] Did, did a woman named Andrea write the instructions?
[laughs]
[laughs]
Their goal, as it says in the article, is to revolutionize public education by keeping it highly engaging, memorable, and fun.
Well, I know of a few ways that you can at least make it memorable.
[laughs]
You gotta add some surprises to the bathroom.
Some video.
Some black sludge or something, you know? Some weird, weird things that people can't identify. [laughs]
The, the real big issue they're trying to combat is improper flushing. People are flushing paper towels, wipes, sanitary items-
Like black sludge
... things they're not supposed to flush
Black sludge, food-
Yeah
... tobacco pouches.
[laughs]
[laughs]
[laughs]
Clorox wipes. [laughs]
But this is all very real, too. The Responsible Flushing Alliance-
[laughs]
... is a nonprofit organization-
Nonprofit, no kidding
... yeah, dedicated to consumer education focused on what not to flush. You can go to flushsmart.org to get more details.
Can you become a member? [laughs]
Yeah, yeah.
Do they have, like, a fun song on their website? Can we find that out?
We should make one.
[laughs]
[laughs]
Wow. Flushsmart.org. Get hashtag Flush Smart.
[laughs]
Just because it can be flushed doesn't mean it should be flushed.
Should we paint that in the bathroom, hashtag Flush Smart? [laughs]
[laughs]
[laughs] Hashtag Flush Smart. That's a great idea.
[laughs] Wow. Well, there's some, some fun facts here.
Yeah.
Like-
Uh-huh. Some of the statistics was mind-blowing.
Yeah. 850 million gallons of raw sewage is dumped into waterways across America every year. Get out and enjoy some swimming, everybody.
[laughs]
Yeah.
[laughs]
Thanks to whoever, like, you know, caused the black sludge and caused all these problems in the bathrooms here, um, there's now these m- men's bathroom rules, of course, on the stall door and everything. And I forgot my phone, uh, in the studio, so I was repeating those rules like it was a Scout pledge.
[laughs]
I will flush smart. [laughs]
Well, back in the day, Peaches, you had to have something to read in the bathroom.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, you'd usually have a joke book on the back of the toilet or something. [laughs]
Write down your deep thoughts book.
Yeah, one of those.
But also-
Deep Thoughts by Dan Candy
... below one of, one of those, uh, sets of rules is the Victor Will... I Did That sticker.
[laughs] Well, I ... Now, that wasn't there to begin with. [laughs]
[laughs]
[laughs]
This says that 99% of items flushed down toilets are not meant for flushing. That seems excessive.
Well, what was it, uh, 50% of adults don't know how to do this properly?
Half of Americans don't know how to use the bathroom properly.
Well, I, I was-
As evidenced by an email. [laughs]
I was gonna explain ... I'll explain this one to you guys off-air, but some natural or things that you think would come natural to you just don't work out sometimes. Like, I don't know how to sleep properly apparently. I learned that Friday afternoon-
Oh
... when I was taking a nap. [laughs]
Kung fu fighting.
[laughs]
Uh-
And it's really funny, but not the type of thing you can joke about- [laughs]
[laughs]
... in a way that someone won't call and complain.
[laughs]
[laughs]
[laughs]
But the ... I know that people don't know how to use the bathroom right because, uh, what, once a week on Reddit we get the articles about guys who don't wipe.
Oh, yeah.
Well, well-
Absolutely
... this-
This is a problem.
Are you saying-
It's a major pr-
... what, what, what, because you didn't know wiping was a thing-
[laughs]
... or are you-
[laughs]
... confused about your reaction?
You never heard of wiping?
Yes. [laughs]
It comes before the stuff you flush in the toilet. [laughs]
[laughs]
[laughs]
There's been a ton of Reddit posts. You gotta forward those to Jade right away.
Dude, there's tons of them. These girls like, "Is it normal that my boyfriend just doesn't wipe when he's done going to the bathroom?"
It's not normal.
That is not, not normal.
Somehow they're in a relationship.
No, it is. It is normal based on the amount of responses I've seen about this.
There's TikTok videos of these girls going like, "Yeah, I had to dump my boyfriend because he wouldn't, he w- just wouldn't wipe."
Eh.
That's a problem.
Like-
You think you'd smell that coming.
Uh, you would.
And then just bypass even getting into boyfriend status.
Yeah, and s- a lot of these women are sticking with these guys for a long time. Like-
Speaking of power washing-
[laughs]
... there you go.
Yeah. Forget wiping. You guys need to take it a step further.
We need a very strong bidet in that men's restroom here.
[laughs]
Oh, could you imagine?
Like-
Dude
... this thing is bad now. [laughs]
Yeah. Like, people don't know how to use the regular flush, all right? We don't need new technology for some of the older people.
[laughs]
[laughs]
[laughs]
The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com.
[upbeat music]