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Happening in Upland is your weekly rundown of what’s going on around town—local news, community events, public safety updates, new restaurants, development, weather, schools, and the stuff Upland residents actually talk about.
Delivered with humor, honesty, and a very local point of view, this isn’t stiff broadcast news. It’s real, relevant information with personality. If you live in Upland or anywhere nearby in the Inland Empire, this is your weekly shortcut to staying in the loop.
MARK: Welcome to Happening in Upland, the only podcast that actually gives a flying fuck about what's going on in this concrete heat-trap we call home. It's Monday, August 17th, 2026, and I'm your host Mark, coming to you with the same composed sense of irony that's kept me from moving to literally anywhere else.
JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen, bringing you that signature upbeat cynicism because, let's face it, if we weren't laughing at the absurdity of the Inland Empire, we'd all just be staring at the 210 freeway and weeping. We've got a hell of a show today, from new forest overlords to literal puppets taking over our city. It's going to be a goddamn delight.
MARK: It really is. If you're new here, we try to cover the local news without the soul-crushing boredom of a city council meeting. If you like what we do, go ahead and hit that subscribe button, leave a comment, and tell us why you're still living here. You can also reach us at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com if you've got a tip or just want to tell me I'm a dickhead. I'm fine with both.
JOLEEN: He's totally fine with it. It's his love language. Anyway, let's kick things off with our top headline. It turns out the Angeles National Forest has a new boss, and his name is Jamahl Butler. He's been around for ten years, so he's had plenty of time to realize exactly how much of a mess 'LA's Playground' can be.
MARK: Butler is forty-seven, which is just the right age to still care about the seven-hundred-thousand-acre forest before the bureaucracy finally crushes his spirit. He's worked as a ranger, so at least they're hiring someone who knows what a tree looks like and hasn't just been staring at spreadsheets in a windowless office in D.C. all his life.
JOLEEN: I love that they call it 'LA's Playground'. It's more like 'LA's massive backyard where people occasionally forget to put out their campfires and try to burn the whole county down'. Butler has got a big job, especially with the way the climate's been acting lately. I hope he's ready to manage more than just hikers who get lost three feet from the trailhead.
MARK: He's probably already planning for the next lightning strike or the next asshole who thinks a gender reveal party in a dry canyon is a great idea. But hey, it's good to have a veteran in charge. Maybe he'll actually get some of those trails cleared before they're just completely reclaimed by the dirt and the despair of the hikers.
JOLEEN: Speaking of assholes, let's talk about crime. The Upland Police Department had a busy morning recently. They found a guy asleep behind the wheel of a suspicious vehicle. Now, normally, that's just a Tuesday in the 909, but this guy wasn't even high or drunk. He was just... there. And he had a loaded, unregistered firearm under his seat.
MARK: It's the unregistered part that really gets me. Like, if you're going to fall asleep in a weirdly parked car, at least make sure your gear is legal. Or better yet, don't have it at all. He got booked on felony weapons charges and his car got towed. A tip of the hat to the 'vigilant community' member who called it in. I guess being a snitch actually pays off sometimes.
JOLEEN: And then we had that felony DUI hit-and-run where someone managed to total two cars and then just... took off running at two in the morning. Like, where are you going? You're in Upland. You're just going to run into another parking lot or a closed Starbucks. People, spend the twenty bucks on an Uber. It's cheaper than a criminal record and a personal injury lawyer breathing down your neck for the next decade.
MARK: People really think they're in an action movie until the handcuffs click. It's embarrassing. Moving on to something slightly less criminal, but equally chaotic: the Upland Unified School District. It's registration week, everyone. If you've got a sophomore or a freshman, you're currently in the middle of the hunger games for locker assignments and class schedules.
JOLEEN: Sophomores were today, freshmen are tomorrow, and Wednesday is for all the people who forgot or just didn't want to deal with it the first time around. I've seen those registration lines. It's just a sea of teenagers who look like they'd rather be anywhere else and parents who are counting the seconds until they can drop their kids off and have a quiet house again.
MARK: And let's not forget the 'Back to School' nights coming up for the middle schools and elementary schools later this week. It's that magical time of year when you get to sit in a tiny desk designed for a ten-year-old and listen to a teacher explain that, yes, your kid is probably going to struggle with common core math just as much as you do.
JOLEEN: It's a bitch, honestly. But hey, at least the kids are getting back to a routine. Or at least a version of a routine that involves waking up before noon. I'm just glad I don't have to stand in those lines anymore. I'd rather take my chances with a hungry mountain lion in the Angeles Forest.
MARK: I'd pay to see that. Alright, let's lighten the mood with some food. I went over to The Heights Restaurant and Bar on Campus Avenue recently. It's trying very hard to be that 'upscale' spot in North Upland. You know the vibe--contemporary setup, lots of TVs, and a menu that ranges from steak to pasta because they don't want to alienate anyone who can't decide what they want.
JOLEEN: The Heights is such a suburban name. It sounds like a place where people go to talk about their property values while eating a sourdough burger. I checked their menu and they have something called 'Hot Legs'. No, it's not what you're thinking, you perv. They're just chicken legs with buffalo or BBQ sauce. But still, who named that? It's like they're trying to be edgy in the most dad-joke way possible.
MARK: The food's actually decent, though. They've got a four-point-four rating, which in Upland means it's basically a Michelin-star establishment compared to the local taco bell. The lasagna is heavy enough to keep you anchored to the earth during a windstorm, and the Mocha Mud Pie is... well, it's a lot of sugar. It's the kind of place you go when you want to feel fancy without actually having to drive to Claremont.
JOLEEN: Upland's version of fine dining is just anywhere that serves cloth napkins and doesn't have a drive-thru. But I'll give them credit, they've got a decent happy hour. And in this economy, if I can get a cocktail and some comfort food without selling a kidney, I'm happy. Just don't expect a life-changing experience. It's a meal, not a religious awakening.
MARK: Exactly. It's a solid 'B' plus, which is the Upland gold standard. Now, let's pivot to real estate, because apparently, even our apartments are trying to go green. 'The Upland' apartments are working on a solar power integration project. They're hoping to get it started within the next month. I guess they realized that the sun is the only thing we have an unlimited supply of around here, besides traffic and disappointment.
JOLEEN: Solar power is great until you realize it's just another thing for the management to use to justify those 'market rate' increases. But hey, if it keeps the air conditioning running during a heatwave without crashing the grid, I'm all for it. They also had a big National Night Out earlier this month with tacos and firetrucks. It's nice to see people pretending to like their neighbors for a few hours.
MARK: Pretending is what makes a community work, Joleen. If we were honest with each other, we'd just be throwing rocks. Speaking of things that make people want to throw rocks: road construction. If you're planning on taking the 210 this week, just... don't. Caltrans is doing drainage work near Sunland, which means daytime and overnight ramp closures through Friday. It's going to be a shitshow.
JOLEEN: It's always a shitshow. They're replacing pump systems and upgrading controls, which I'm sure is very important so the freeway doesn't turn into a lake the next time it rains for five minutes. But for those of us trying to commute, it's just another reason to hate our lives. They're warning about noise and vibrations, so if you live nearby, I hope you like the sound of grinding metal at three in the morning.
MARK: I'm convinced Caltrans just moves orange cones around to see how much we'll tolerate. They're also doing work on the 210 in Azusa, so even if you're heading west to escape Upland, you're just going to get stuck in a different flavor of gridlock. It's like the universe is telling us to just stay home and rot.
JOLEEN: I've been rotting for years, Mark. It's not that bad once you get used to the smell. Let's look at the weather, since that's the only thing more consistent than the road work. We're looking at a pretty standard mid-August roasting. Today we're hitting 93, and it's just going to keep climbing. Tuesday is 95, Wednesday 96, and Thursday is the winner with a high near 97.
MARK: It's sunny every single day. No rain, no clouds, just the relentless, uncaring sun beating down on our foreheads. The lows are around 68 to 70, so you get about twenty minutes of 'pleasant' weather at five in the morning before the furnace kicks back on. If you're outside, wear sunscreen or just accept your fate as a human raisin.
JOLEEN: I prefer 'sun-dried bitch', thank you. But seriously, keep an eye on your pets and your elderly neighbors. This kind of heat is no joke, even if we're used to it. And the wind is going to be kicking up a bit, with gusts as high as 25 miles per hour. So, you'll get blasted with hot air like you're standing behind a giant hairdryer. Fun times.
MARK: It's like living in a convection oven. But hey, if you want to brave the heat, there are some events coming up. This Friday, August 21st, there's a puppet musical called 'S.T.E.A.M. Works' at two-seventeen East A Street. It's free, it's got puppets, and it's about science and technology. It's basically the only time you'll see a puppet talk about engineering in Upland.
JOLEEN: Puppets and engineering. That sounds like a specific kind of hell, but for kids, it's probably great. And hey, it's indoors, so it's a free way to steal some air conditioning for an hour. Then on Saturday, if you're the outdoorsy type who doesn't mind the smell of fish and desperation, there's the Catfish Derby at Cucamonga-Guasti Regional Park. It starts at five-thirty in the evening.
MARK: A Catfish Derby. Nothing says 'summer in the IE' like trying to pull a bottom-feeder out of a pond while the sun sets over the mountains. It's actually a pretty big deal for some people. Just don't fall in. I've seen that water. It's got things in it that would make a scientist quit on the spot.
JOLEEN: And if you want to avoid the fish but still want to feel like you're doing something 'IE cool', there's the B.A.D Brunch Rodeo on Saturday night. Yeah, it's called a brunch rodeo but it's at nine PM. Because words don't mean anything anymore. It's seventeen bucks and I assume there's music and people dressed like they've ever seen a cow in their lives.
MARK: I love the idea of a night-brunch rodeo. It's the ultimate 'I have no responsibilities on Sunday' vibe. Upland really is the land of confusingly named events. But honestly, it's better than nothing. At least the city is trying to keep us entertained so we don't just focus on the fact that our houses cost nearly a million dollars and we can't drive five miles without a construction detour.
JOLEEN: That's the Upland spirit! 'It's better than nothing'. We should put that on the welcome sign. Anyway, that's all the news and nonsense we've got for you this week. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and leave a comment. We'll be back next Monday to do this all over again. If you've got something to say, hit us up at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com.
MARK: Try not to get arrested, try not to overheat, and for the love of god, stop driving like an asshole on the 210. We'll see you next week. Goodbye, Upland. Stay cynical, or at least stay hydrated.