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United We Sip – Dive into the fascinating world of American culture with "Hot Takes: 50Cups." Join founder Jim Baker as he shares his hot takes on everything from day to day life, business trends and societal shifts, uncovering how we are all more united than we think.
At 50Cups, we believe in the power of community and the shared goal of living a healthy, fulfilled life. Our mission is to inspire you through organic, great-tasting teas, education, and awareness, uniting us all in our quest for better living.
Each episode of "Hot Takes: 50Cups" features Jim's candid and insightful commentary on the challenges, triumphs, and everyday experiences that shape our collective journey. From entrepreneurial wisdom, cultural observations, to health topics and nutrition this podcast offers a fresh perspective that will leave you inspired and enlightened.
Whether you're an aspiring entrepreneur, a business leader, or simply curious about the threads that bind us, this podcast is your gateway to understanding and connection.
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[00:00:00]
Jim Baker: [00:00:15] Hello everybody and welcome to [00:00:30] another edition of Hot Takes at 50 cups. Today I have the honor to interview my mom.
And she did something, at least one thing, right? She had me, um, just kidding. But I also have her [00:00:45] special sweet tea recipe today. And as you know I normally don't indulge myself with sugar, but this is one of my vices in life. And for those out there, it's five bags of black tea [00:01:00] organic. It's three quarters sugar.
My mother likes a, a whole cup of sugar, but I'm a three quarter guy and then freshly squeezed lemons and it's phenomenal. So we're gonna start today by pouring out a little tea. And I got some ice here for one of the few times. [00:01:15] So my mother's name is Gail Baker. She resides in Kerry, North Carolina.
And ma, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Mom: okay. Um. I grew up in New York state, never had any [00:01:30] desire to leave it.
Jim Baker: What town?
Mom: Poughkeepsie, New York.
Jim Baker: All right.
Mom: I went to school there. I went to nursing there, and then I met my husband and we got married, and then we moved every two to three years, even though I didn't want to
Jim Baker: well, [00:01:45] before that.
What was it like growing up in Poughkeepsie?
Mom: It was great, you know, compared to now with kids growing up, you know, we, we didn't even have TV. And then we finally got a tv, but there was no [00:02:00] technology at all. He never had a cell phone. We walked to school. We never got a call. If there was snow, we walked to school in the snow and then they'd cancel and we'd have to walk home.
Nobody's picking you up.
Jim Baker: What year, um, are you in school? And I know back then when [00:02:15] we were being raised, you told me how you walk through blizzards to go to school every day. And we always had snow days. Um, so what, what did, what timeframe is this?
Mom: Well, let's see, I was born in 38, so went to school starting, [00:02:30] you know, in 44. So, so it was during World
Jim Baker: Wari at that point in time too. Right. But
Mom: I was too young to, I remember being, going out with my uncle when they would have, um. Sirens going off and the [00:02:45] whole city would be dark and he would come out with his helmet on and a slash light and he came and got me one day and it was so eerie.
'cause it was pitch block. Pitch block. So he would have those warnings [00:03:00] several times.
Jim Baker: And I know it was kindergarten back then in first grade, but do you remember having to do drills in school or anything like that?
Mom: No. Don't remember anything like that. I, I, you know, you just went to school and you learn reading, writing, nothing [00:03:15] real special.
Um, and then we had to take cooking and we had to take, um, sewing.
Jim Baker: Mm-Hmm.
Mom: And, and
Jim Baker: then your parents were obviously from the, had lived through the Depression. And so what were they, like, who, who [00:03:30] would they do? How were they as parents? I'm sure they were great, but why don't you describe that a little bit?
Mom: Well, my father, um, I. I think he was offered a job in their early marriage, um, in New Jersey. And he, he didn't [00:03:45] wanna leave the area. He, he was from Poughkeepsie, but my mother was from Beacon and, um, so I don't know, actually know what he did, but, um, they were great parents and then he opened up a. I guess [00:04:00] you would say a sweet shop with a soda fountain.
And, um, so we worked that, that was every day. And, um, my mother went and helped him in the, in the for the lunch crowd from high school. And I [00:04:15] remember that. And then when I got to high school, I, or even elementary school, 'cause there was no middle school. So in elementary school. I would walk from the school down to the store and [00:04:30] stand behind the candy counter, and then have lunch, and then walk back to school for the afternoon session.
And, um, then my mother would go home and then she'd come back and then my father would go home and take a nap and she'd have dinner ready [00:04:45] for him and then he would go back. So that was their life for many years.
Jim Baker: Um, and you had a brother? Correct?
Mom: Had a brother. And he was
Jim Baker: nine years older than you? Yes.
Right. And was he working in the shop also?
Mom: Well, he did when he was in high school, but [00:05:00] um. He, when we were younger before we moved into the house, um, being nine years younger, I was think I was a real pain for him. And we'd go over to the bakery and my mother would make him take me [00:05:15] and, um, he'd say, walk behind me.
I don't, I don't want anyone to know. You're with me. And so I would, and then I'd get home and tell my mother what he did and he, [00:05:30] he would get so mad. But, um, you know, we, we weren't really close till I got older. I mean, I was just a thorn in his aside for Pete's sake.
Jim Baker: So he never drove you around when he was got his license or anything like that?
Mom: No, he didn't wanna have anything to do with me, [00:05:45] to be honest. Um, I remember every time he drove anybody, it was filled with other boys. Um, but he was, he was a good brother. We became very close later on, but, [00:06:00] um. It was good. Growing up was so easy and you could join clubs. You could go over Main Street to the Y and do things.
No one worried that you were gonna get lost or no one drove anybody. [00:06:15] Um, if you went to the movies on a weekend, you walked, you walked to the movies, it was easy. It was just easy. Now, I think there's so many options and so many technicalities and, um. [00:06:30] It's, it's harder to grow up now.
Jim Baker: Mm-Hmm. Um, so you go through, you're in high school and you obviously became a nurse.
Right? When did you know you wanted to be a nurse?
Mom: Well, I [00:06:45] want to be a teacher or a nurse. My mother said, I, I hope you're a nurse. So when I took the aptitude test for the hospital, the nurse, um. The administrator who was a nun was a Catholic [00:07:00] hospital. Um, she said, your aptitude is more technical. Do you, do you wanna be a carpenter or something like that?
I said, no. So, so much for the aptitude. But I went into nursing [00:07:15] and I loved it and still do, and worked my whole life, so. That was fun. It was fun.
Jim Baker: And what when you got outta nursing school, did you, were you in the ER or were you in the, you know, the, the baby unit? Like [00:07:30] where were you, what'd you do?
Mom: I worked in the emergency room and I liked that when I worked in the hospital and they had you do shift work, you know, nights or, um, and I worked in the emergency room, I worked on the floors.[00:07:45]
Um. I liked all aspects of it. Um, not in the, or. We, I had the OR when I was in training, but, um, they had, you know, scheduled or nurses. Um, but no, I liked that. And then [00:08:00] I was on evenings for a long time. That was my favorite shift. But it wasn't good if you were dating or anything like that. Um, but then, yeah, I always liked that.
And then after I. Graduate. And then [00:08:15] when I got married, um, I would still work evenings.
Jim Baker: And do you remember how much you made as a nurse?
Mom: Um, well, let's put it this way. I get paid on Thursday and by Thursday night I was [00:08:30] broke. So paying my bills and putting gas in my car didn't make much. Didn't make much, but.
You know, it was something worked with wonderful people and it was nice. So,
Jim Baker: and you still [00:08:45] have a relationship with some of the people you work with, correct. That you get together? Well,
Mom: not so much anymore 'cause I've been away for so long.
Jim Baker: Right.
Mom: But the girls in my class are, that are still alive. I do see them when I go up north.
I [00:09:00] still see them, but they're not working at all.
Jim Baker: So you're cooking along as a nurse, I assume? You're, are you living on your own or are you living with your parents? I'm
Mom: living at home.
Jim Baker: Oh, you are? Okay. So when did you spring the coop on that?
Mom: When I got married.
Jim Baker: Okay. [00:09:15] All right.
Mom: If I was gonna say when we graduated, um, a lot of the girls before travel nursing was fashion.
There were about six of them, or eight maybe, said, and they wanted me to go [00:09:30] with them first. They were gonna go to New York and work, then they were gonna go, when it was winter, they were gonna go to New Orleans and then Florida and then home. They were gonna be going a year. So my mother said, [00:09:45] you are gonna go to New York and you're gonna get killed down there.
And then I had just met, um, my. He was my husband, but we weren't married and I kind of didn't wanna go traveling when I had just [00:10:00] met him. So, um, I stayed at St. Francis and lived at home.
Jim Baker: How'd you meet him?
Mom: I met him, um, a good friend of mine and I went down to Burke Rehab and um, where is that? Rockland County.
Okay. In New York. [00:10:15] A great rehab. And on the way home, we were seniors in nursing then and on the way home, um, Carol said, I'm gonna stop in Highland Falls, there's a bar there. She was dating this fell and [00:10:30] he's gonna meet me there. So I said, okay. So, 'cause we had a curfew, so we had to be back by I think nine 30.
And Jim was there and I met him at, and then I. [00:10:45] He asked me out and then we began to date. So was
Jim Baker: he friends with the, with Carol's boyfriend?
Mom: Yeah. And Carol, Carol knew him,
Jim Baker: right.
Mom: And she said, oh, I want you to meet somebody. And he came over and he sat at the table and then they had dancing. We were dancing.
Then [00:11:00] he said asked me to come out and he had a, I said, well, I'm working this weekend, so I have to be at the. Dorm. So he came out and we went to a movie and
Jim Baker: Mm-Hmm. So when you sat at the table that were you, did you like, Hey, wow, that's a cool guy, or were you like, [00:11:15] that guy's a clown? Like what, what were you thinking?
Mom: I was thinking he was nice. He wasn't a clown. That's good. And he had a nice car, a yellow Oldsmobile. Um, he worked at, he was in the, getting out of the [00:11:30] army, um, but he was stationed at West Point because of his family situation. And he was getting outta the army and he worked then he was, he, I had worked for IBMI think when he was about 18.
And then [00:11:45] when they drafted him, they held his position, whatever, however that works. So, um, he, and anyways, but then before he went back to IBM, he said, you know, I wanna get my degree. [00:12:00] And so he said, I'm gonna sell my car. And I said, oh, so nobody in Poughkeepsie, my friends there, they didn't like the idea that I was not dating someone with in the, we had a big group [00:12:15] and they kind of thought, why are you dating someone else?
And um, so he came up and he said, I sold my car. And he came up in. Well, I was horrified. It was, [00:12:30] I guess I was more materialistic than I thought. Yeah, it sounds like thought because you could see your, the ground when you were in the car, the floorboard was out and, so I, I said park in the [00:12:45] back if we were gonna meet my friends.
He said, what? Are you ashamed to me? I said, oh, no. Why would you think that? I thought, my God, why? Why would you ever. Wanna do this. And so that you got a bachelor's at Bryant College in two and a half [00:13:00] years. So he did that and then he came home for winter break and we had a big bridge across the Poughkeepsie River, Hudson River and the New Haven Railroad used [00:13:15] it, but there was so much snow.
Um, they hired people to shovel. So my father came home and said, um, they're hiring people to shovel over the bridge. And he [00:13:30] said, I, I'll do it. I said, Jim, you, you can't, you know how high that bridge is. You can't do that. And he said, why? He said, I don't have a problem with height. So I said, well, you don't have boots, you don't even have gloves.[00:13:45]
And so my father said, your brother's boots are up there from the army and he's a 13. What size foot are you? And he said, 10 I. He said, well, we can shove newspaper in the boots. So
Jim Baker: guess your dad wanted him to get [00:14:00] the job, huh?
Mom: He did because he knew he was broke. So, um, dropped him off In the morning there were about 25 men and, um, he shoveled every day.
And by the end of the day, there were about five left. [00:14:15] Every day they dropped off and he did that. And then he got paid and he said, could we go to the banks? And they wouldn't, they wouldn't cash the check because they said, new Haven Railroad is um, [00:14:30] bankrupt, so there's nothing behind this check. So, I mean, I thought he was gonna cry.
I mean, he worked his butt off that whole week and then they wouldn't cash the check. So we went home and I told my father they wouldn't check, and he cashed it and he said, [00:14:45] look, I'll get that cash for you. So he knew somebody down at another bank and he called him and he told him the situation. He said, just send them down.
I'll, I'll cash it. So. Jim [00:15:00] said, I'll never move here if you can't cash your check. And then when we sold our house to move, um, they wouldn't cash it again. And um, that was it. He said Never moving into B Gey.
Jim Baker: Yeah. No wonder he didn't [00:15:15] like Poughkeepsie. So he ended up, um, obviously you ended up getting married then you, um, he worked out of IBM at Poughkeepsie.
So you had a house in Poughkeepsie?
Mom: Well, we had an apartment. And then we bought a house, and then [00:15:30] we were in the house about two years, and then he got transferred to, um, Atlanta.
Jim Baker: And at this point you have one kid or two kids?
Mom: Two.
Jim Baker: Okay. And I'm one of 'em.
Mom: You and Tom is what, a year [00:15:45] and a half younger
Jim Baker: year?
A little over a year. Yeah. Yeah, A year and a quarter. Um, yeah. So you moved down to Atlanta, Georgia. Yep. And, and you're a fish outta water in Atlanta, Georgia. 'cause you're born and bred in Poughkeepsie, New York. Um, I'm sure being in the Northeast [00:16:00] you read nothing about negative things about the south, especially in the sixties.
So you head down to Atlanta and how are you feeling? What are you thinking at that point in time?
Mom: Well, they had a about, um snow [00:16:15] flurries and they shut everything down. I remember that. I think what in the heck We have blizzards and they don't shut things down. So I didn't quite make that. Association.
Um, I [00:16:30] remember our neighbors are all southern, lovely people, and in the backyard they moved from Knoxville and he was with Sears and she said, oh, I brought my prize, my prize, um, Iris is here. [00:16:45] And she said, oh, they're so beautiful. I'm so, I never thought they'd make it, but they were blooming. They were beautiful.
So, um, one day, um. My oldest son, Jim and his friend Susan, across the street, went over and picked all [00:17:00] the her and they brought them to me and I said. Oh my God, are these Mrs. Morris's flowers? And they said, yeah, aren't they pretty? I said, yeah, and she [00:17:15] was not happy. So, um, that was, it was, I couldn't apologize enough, but she said, well, maybe I should have put a fence around them.
And I [00:17:30] said, well, I know you're upset because you really were so happy that they thrived, but that's the worst thing that happens to you. I said to myself, you're lucky.
Jim Baker: So backtrack for a second. Your father [00:17:45] would had a little trouble with the law every once in a while. Is that a fair assessment?
Mom: Yeah.
That's fair.
Jim Baker: And he was gambling. He was like, the future bookie of today would be all legal. But I guess back then he was running numbers. Right.
Mom: Yeah. And which was funny [00:18:00] 'cause um, I was in high school and they poughkeepsie's decided to track down all the gamblers. Um, and so two weeks before that, a good friend of mine in high [00:18:15] school, they got her father and he was on the front page of the Poughkeepsie Journal.
So I went into school the next day and I said. Good picture of your father. And he was a very good looking man. She said, Gail, this is [00:18:30] awful. I said, I know. And she said, people are like mad at me like it's my fault. And I said, but don't pay any attention to them. So I. Two, we, a week later I'm going to this, we lived on the north side of town, the south side of [00:18:45] town where the professors and the doctors and lawyers lived.
And one of the young men that lived there asked me to this, um, tennis court affair where, um, some girl, they called it a coming out ceremony and he asked me to [00:19:00] go, it was a dance, and I said. Okay. And so I went, walked down to the store to go to work and he was standing there and I said, Bruce, what are you doing here?
And he said, I wanted to tell you what time I'm picking [00:19:15] you up, but, um, that your father's in there, but the store's locked. So I thought, what? So I banged down the door and my father told me to go, go home. I said, I'm not going. [00:19:30] So I went in and they just made him, you would've thought Al Capone because they made such a mess of everything.
And my father was terribly embarrassed, so I, I hated those [00:19:45] detectives. Oh. And so one came up and he said, um, I think I have an ice cream cone. So I said, I looked at him like, I, I hope you die. I'm gonna push you off the stool. And my father said. Give him what he [00:20:00] wants. So he said, I'll have a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate.
So I handed it to him and I pulled it back. I said it'd be 50 cents. And he said, ho, ho, ho. And I said, oh, it'll be 50 cents. You're, you might [00:20:15] get in your face. I was so mad. And my father said, just give him the cone. I said, when he pays, I'll give him the cone. I said, last chance, 50 cents. And he said, are you kidding?
I said, no, I'm not. And I walked away to [00:20:30] put the what? Ice cream back. And he paid 50 cents. So my mother came down to take over and she said, where's your father? I said, he's in jail.
And she said, he's what? I [00:20:45] said, oh, yeah, you would've thought it was Al Capone committed murder. Uncle Carl picked him up. So, um, the next day I go to school and my father's on the front page and Carol said, I think my [00:21:00] father took a better picture than yours. And I said, but I had to go to the JA that night.
And their parents mine's a gambler on the front page of the paper, but, but they all are, have profe doctors, [00:21:15] lawyers. So I, I remember my brother came up and he said. You're just as good as they are. And I said, yeah, well, they don't have to think about, and your father's a good man and you shouldn't be ashamed of them.
I said, well. [00:21:30] Why did it have to be in the front page of the paper when I'm going to the ja? And he said, just remember, you're as good as they are and put your head up high. And it was pouring out. It was like, I thought maybe I'll drown before I get to the car when he picks me up. [00:21:45] And it was, it was a great event and no one said boo to me, which was, I was very relieved.
So, um.
Jim Baker: That's good. So he eventually got out of jail, obviously, and um, he got outta jail. He came down to visit down in Georgia? Correct. [00:22:00]
Mom: And oh, he would come down and he would take, bring my niece when she was like four. He would come down. Um,
Jim Baker: and then prior to moving, you had lost your mother, right? So then your dad was still [00:22:15] around and he,
Mom: um.
He last, he lived five years and then he passed.
Jim Baker: Right. And and then we had moved back again. Right? We're moving. So how are you feeling every time you get the word that you're moving?
Mom: Well, I'd say where? [00:22:30] And, um, I said, and I felt it was a lot to relocate. And, you know, you guys, my children started school and then they had to leave their friends.
And so then we moved and [00:22:45] then.
Jim Baker: And you have a daughter now, so now you have Yeah, we have three kids
Mom: now. We moved to Maryland and, we knew people there from IBM and then, um, we went for, [00:23:00] I was TA getting ready to take my daughter out for a walk with a neighbor. Um, your fa your father came home and said, um, Gail, your father's died today, so.
[00:23:15] I went up, I left and, and went up to the funeral and um, I think Jim did come with me and I guess the neighbors all took, everybody
Jim Baker: He did. I remember 'cause we stayed next door. Yeah. Door boils. [00:23:30] Yeah, we, we all split up, I guess. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And
Mom: I was fortunate that the, I've in moving, we, I just, we had such good friends and they helped.
I was always seemed to need help. So then we were [00:23:45] there and I loved it there and got involved and there was a lot to do. And um, and then three years later, off we go.
Jim Baker: Now you have four kids. Yeah. 'cause and But you're going back north, so I think you [00:24:00] were, although it was New Jersey. New Jersey, you were a little bit happier 'cause you're gonna be close to your brother now.
Yeah. And But it's New Jersey though. And being from New York, new Jersey's like the slums. Right.
Mom: Well it was nice in New Jersey we'd go into the city a lot to show.
Jim Baker: Right. But I [00:24:15] remember you being a little whacked out that we were going to New Jersey.
Mom: Well, I always remember Jersey when you drove down the Jersey Turnpike.
There was, there were pig farms there and it just had an awful smell. But, um, we met there, we met [00:24:30] good friends that lived next door and um, you know, it was, it was, it was good, um, when we were there again.
[00:24:45] [00:25:00] [00:25:15] [00:25:30] you're living the, the crazy life. You know, you're going to games, practices, dropping kids off, doing this, doing that. So I know you had a lot of good friends there, but, you know, what was that as a mom? What were you, what was that time of life like for you? Like what were you, how'd you [00:25:45] get by?
Jim Baker: How'd you, how'd you maintain your sanity sometimes?
Mom: Well, I, um. Like I say, I've always met good people, but I helped one with a brownie group and um, I volunteered at the hospital, [00:26:00] at a group with a group. I, you just get busy. But my youngest he went to a, a preschool. Um, and you know, I kept saying, I can't even [00:26:15] imagine you going to kindergarten next year.
So when kindergarten came around, he said, I don't wanna go 'cause you're gonna be sad. I said, I know I am. So, you know, everybody was, when we went [00:26:30] there, um, everyone could do cursive and Mary couldn't, my daughter. And there was always an issue with moving and the way the school was. And then we left New Jersey, we went to Virginia and um.[00:26:45]
You know, that was nice. I liked Virginia a lot. Um, could get into DC When people came to visit, you just drove down to DC and of course it isn't like it is now, but we went, had a tour of the White House and we did a lot of things [00:27:00] there.
Jim Baker: Mm-Hmm.
Mom: And then a lot of people in Jersey would come visit us in Virginia to go to DC and we had a priest friend that we were very close to and then.
Nicely settled and, [00:27:15] um, had nice homes wherever we lived. And then we went to Connecticut and wow. Even the mover said, Mrs. Baker, how you doing? [00:27:30] You love such a beautiful home. In Virginia. I looked at him, I said, yeah, didn't find one here though, so, but I thought, oh my God. [00:27:45] And the neighbor came over and said, um, I can't believe how your husband's here with you.
I moved and no one helped me. I said, well, you know what? Four moves ago, every move, he was never home. He would be on a trip. He would go on a trip, and then as [00:28:00] soon as we got settled there. He went international and he was gone three weeks and we hadn't sold the house in Virginia yet. And the realtor called me and said, um, gal, we got a bid.
When's Jim [00:28:15] coming home? And I said, who knows? Don't know. And. I said, the house is falling around. Did we sell my house? And he said, we got a bid. And I said, well, did you mention that there was a whole whole oil tank filled? And he said, [00:28:30] well, no, I didn't mention that. And I said, well, Jim, did he talk to you about that when you last talked to him?
Because I'll just assume he said, well, you know, Gail, they might back out if you, um. [00:28:45] Stand firm on the oil. I said, that suit me fine because you know what? He'll be in that house. Me, I'm ready to dump this place and come down there. And he said, when is Jim coming back? I said, well, I don't know. Who knows? [00:29:00] So his boss came over with his check and I said, when you see Jim, when you, when you talk, have you talked to me?
He said, oh yeah. And I said, well. Tell him to wear his badge when he comes home. 'cause I forgot what he looked like. He [00:29:15] said, oh, duh. Well, it's hard to make calls because then international calls were, you talk, I talk, right? So, um, but then again meant wonderful people and
Jim Baker: [00:29:30] that basically ended up being home.
Yes. 'cause I think you stayed there for. 20 plus years. Right?
Mom: 37.
Jim Baker: 37. Okay. Wow. Wow. So then the kids get all out and everything else, or during that time they were in high school, you end up going back to work full-time as a [00:29:45] nurse. Yeah. And now you're in a medical practice.
Mom: Yeah, and I'm in an office and, um, loved it.
I loved everything there. A couple. I went to a nursing home once and I didn't care for that that much. And then I did visiting nurse and I didn't care for [00:30:00] that. And then. I subbed in the elementary schools for the nurse's office, and I liked that. I didn't ever mind.
Jim Baker: And then the practice was sold or they had one of the main doctors left or something and you decided to go to the high school?
Well, they
Mom: sold the [00:30:15] practice to, that's when the big con conglomerates came in, bought private, and, it was just different. Mm-Hmm. The, the doctor who came in was just, all he did was order tests for people that didn't even need them. And then [00:30:30] he pointed, um, one of the radiology radio gals, who was the tech radiation tech, he, um, appointed her, um, office manager.
So she said, Gail, I feel bad you're gonna be working [00:30:45] for me. I said, don't. Don't feel bad. That's what he wants. I said, but I feel bad because he's putting too much work on you and he's ruining the practice. And then he hired, this girl wasn't [00:31:00] trained in anything and she said, I'm supposed to give tetanus.
I said, let me see what you're giving and was the wrong thing. I said, you shouldn't be given this and. Have you given shots before? And she said, well, no, but he's [00:31:15] telling me to. I said, don't give it if anything happens and you don't wanna give this medication 'cause it's the wrong one. So then they told me they couldn't afford me anymore, so.
Jim Baker: So you go off to the high school?
Mom: [00:31:30] No, not then.
Jim Baker: No.
Mom: No, not yet. I subbed in the schools. Then I went to the high school.
Jim Baker: Okay. And you finally got the high school nursing job. And I worked And then you were there for, at Ridgefield High School for how many [00:31:45] years?
Mom: 27 mm-Hmm. And then I worked in a convent with the nuns. Um,
Jim Baker: so what was the out of all your jobs, what was the.
The best thing you liked about what was the best [00:32:00] job you had out of all the jobs you had?
Mom: Well, I think school nursing was, um, but I, I liked hospital nursing. Mm-Hmm. I liked that a lot.
Jim Baker: And what was the worst job you had? I.
Mom: Nursing home. Okay. [00:32:15] I didn't care for, didn't care for that too
Jim Baker: much. No. I mean, you kinda had a great deal in the high school.
Your best friend was working with you and you get to hang around kids all day long and you love kids. I know. So now the kids that went to the nursing department area, um, obviously weren't [00:32:30] feeling well. Some were probably perfectly fine, but they liked to hang out all day long. But nonetheless, you and your friends seem to thrive there.
Mom: Yeah, well, we had a lot of fun.
Jim Baker: And then. You ended up retiring, um, what, when you [00:32:45] were 75? 76.
Mom: 70. Um, 74.
Jim Baker: 74. All right. You think if you didn't, um, if things didn't change over at the high school, you think you'd still be the nurse there today?
Mom: Oh, no.
Jim Baker: You were [00:33:00] ready to move on.
Mom: I mean, it, it was changing and everything.
We used to do everything by hand, and then the computers came in and you had to write up. Huh? You had to write up, um, healthcare plans [00:33:15] and if anybody with a special needs, you had to document like stupid things. Mm-Hmm. And I said, I'm not doing it.
Jim Baker: Mm-Hmm.
Mom: I'm too busy and I'm not gonna count the squares of toilet tissue.
I have to give him, [00:33:30] I'm not doing it. I mean, that's a waste of time and effort because they didn't have any respect for the office. Some kids weren't ill. Some had a lot of issues and [00:33:45] I mean, I, you know, they're growing up, they're teenagers and um, you know, sometimes when I'd see one later when after you graduate, he said, you know, aren't you the nurse?
I said, yeah. He said, are you still [00:34:00] there? Yeah. You know, I didn't, wasn't really sick every time I came in. I said, really?
Jim Baker: Yeah. No surprise there. So let's go back a little bit 'cause you. Obviously lost my father or your husband when you were what, 49? [00:34:15] 50 years old? 49. And the three of us were either outta college or in college.
And then youngest was a senior in high school. Yes. Um, and he was diagnosed with lung cancer, but unbeknownst to everybody [00:34:30] before surgery, it had already metastas. Mm-Hmm. So after surgery passed within a month or so, yeah. Afterwards. So it was pretty quick. Um, and now you're. You're hanging out with, um, you're working, you have a senior in high school, you gotta figure out [00:34:45] a way to get him into college.
Um, I know he didn't do his taxes before he departed, and I know that was a giant issue with you and I, um, for, because he died in March and taxes were due on April 15th. Um, so who cared
Mom: about taxes? [00:35:00]
Jim Baker: Well, a lot of people did, but because I remember the accountant bugging the heck out of both of us. Um, but kind of just.
If you can, um, what do you, I know you're devastated, you're sad, um, but how'd you get through it? How'd you get by? [00:35:15]
Mom: Well, you know, I'm thinking more about that now than I did then because life goes on and, you know, your brother was getting ready to leave a lot of baseball. That [00:35:30] saved me. I mean, and um, and then when he left it, it just.
You just keep working and, you know, try to make a life for yourself and, um, I [00:35:45] don't know. I don't know how I did it.
Jim Baker: Well, how'd you get the just life goes on, just keep putting one foot four. Like how did you get that, was that something that happened when you were growing up? Was that how your parents were, was that, you know, your brother's giving you some advice at some point in time?
Like how did that, [00:36:00] that's. Something that some people have, some people don't, and you clearly had it and have it. How do, do that? I don't know.
Mom: I, I mean, I, I just, what, what can you do? I had to be there for Mike and my family. Um, I worked, um, I'm [00:36:15] again great friends that helped me, but I joined support groups and then of course, the year after he died, I got breast cancer.
So I had a support group for that. So then. Um, my daughter said [00:36:30] you're gonna need a support group to get off your support groups and, you know, and the widows group, um, it was, I been to several and I just, I didn't like them. [00:36:45] And some just wanted to get married. And then men came to some and they thought they were coming to, you know, Connecticut, they're gonna find a rich widow.
And I didn't like that. Mm-Hmm. And, so [00:37:00] we, I, the church was, and then the church was offering one, um, the diocese and I joined that and had someone else from Ridgefield lost her husband. So we went to that and that was good. So the last meeting [00:37:15] we went up to Danbury for dinner and we had a wonderful time.
And then, and the um, facilitator was, she was an older woman. She was wonderful. So we were laughing and laughing and. So the owner of the restaurant came in, [00:37:30] come back and he said, you know, I booked a table here. It was all widows. And he said, I, you're all laughing. So the facilitator, I'll never forget, she said, well, our husbands died, but we didn't.[00:37:45]
It was,
Jim Baker: that's a good line. So did you ever have a desire to date again or remarry.
Mom: No, I did a couple times. I dated, but no,
Jim Baker: nothing. [00:38:00] So ready to move on? Huh?
Mom: I
Jim Baker: too busy with work and everything else.
Mom: Um, no, I, I, I had no desire to do that.
Jim Baker: So let's talk about, obviously you've, you're 86 now. Um, you've had [00:38:15] breast cancer twice.
Um, and for all intents and purposes, you're in really good health. You still live at home. You drive, you take us to the airport all the time. You're like a mini Uber, if that's free, which I'm grateful for. Um, talk to you, us about your [00:38:30] exercise routine. You're working out, like what, what do you do?
Mom: Well, I walk.
What have
Jim Baker: you always done?
Mom: I've always walked and when I was in Connecticut, we walked every morning. We'd get up at four 30, walk three and a half miles come home. My [00:38:45] friend went to her nursing job and I went to mine. Um, and we did that for years. Every years. Um, although when, it was kind of ironic because when she would go [00:39:00] away, something always happened in my life and she said, I can't leave you anymore because something tragic always happens.
I mean, and it was true. It, it just did. She said, Gail, I, I don't think I can [00:39:15] leave you, because she was from Leroy up in upper New York state and she would go up there sometime. And, um, she said, I just can't leave you anymore. And I said, I know maybe you, you weren't gonna be bound on the hip [00:39:30] because whenever you do, something happens.
And and
Jim Baker: were you walking seven days a week at four 30? Did you take a day off?
Mom: We took Sundays off. Sundays
Jim Baker: off. Okay. And I remember those times 'cause you would bring a flashlight, but you would like walk right down the middle of the [00:39:45] road everywhere at four 30. And I was always. Fearful that I'd get a phone call that, you know, somebody took you both.
Nobody's out
Mom: driving that much. In fact, we always, well is we always have dogs. And one day the heavens opened up and this guy pulled up and said, I'll give you [00:40:00] ladies a ride home. He said no. That night she had one of the dogs I had wondered, drip, dripping, wet. And he took us home.
Jim Baker: And your friend's still alive also, right?
Oh yeah. And she's doing pretty well.
Mom: For the most part. For the most part.
Jim Baker: She [00:40:15] drives right? And
Mom: she's young. She's younger than me.
Jim Baker: What is she?
Mom: 83.
Jim Baker: Oh god. Unbelievable. Um, and then what about food? Like what, what's, this is one of the, [00:40:30] my mother I think defies science and, and health sometimes 'cause her diet's a little bit different than the traditional America.
Well, it's probably a similar to traditional American, but based on the things that we've talked about on Hot Takes, it's a little bit different. So. What do you love? [00:40:45] What do you like to eat?
Mom: Food's on the bottom of my list. I don't, I don't love it. Well, you like the sweets. I like Italian food.
Jim Baker: Yeah. But you like the sweets?
Mom: No, not necessarily
Jim Baker: all. I see you got a lot of cookies at the house. [00:41:00] I see you little you know, pastry every now and then.
Mom: Oh, I like donuts. Yeah. Um, but no, I'm not. What are the eight things you should eat every day?
Jim Baker: You like broccoli, that's good, right? I do. Yeah.
Mom: But food, me, [00:41:15] I like salads. I, I'll make a salad. I do like salads and, but it's not important to me.
Jim Baker: Yeah.
Mom: And sometimes I think, gee, did I eat today? Um, get out those pretzels and cheese. That's my favorite.
Jim Baker: Well, maybe you're out doing that [00:41:30] intermittent fasting every day, not even knowing about it.
I, I know which could be working well. Um. And also you defy the the myth or the goal rather of making sure everybody drinks a, a gallon of water a day. 'cause you maybe have [00:41:45]
Mom: an ounce,
Jim Baker: an ounce of water if it's not in your coffee. Um, I don't,
Mom: well, but nobody in my generation drinks a lot of water. Right.
Um. In fact, when I was up in Connecticut, I [00:42:00] went to, my friend that I walked with, I stayed with her. I said, you got cases of water here, Sharon? And she said, well, yeah, they told me because of the AFib, I have to drink water, so I do all the time. Well, she went to a fair up there and she [00:42:15] collapsed because she was dehydrated.
And I said. So much for the drinking aid out. And she said they had to give me an iv and then it came to, they said I was dehydrated. So, so
Jim Baker: now she [00:42:30] drinks water?
Mom: She always did. Oh, she always, I mean, she had cases and she, I got it.
Jim Baker: She was a water queen. Okay.
Mom: But she, and she drank it and she was dehydrated at the fair, so they, it made no sense.
Jim Baker: So how many grandkids? [00:42:45]
Mom: 11. And two great grandsons
Jim Baker: and you have the ability to see the, some of the grandkids and certainly the grandsons at this, great grandsons at this point in time.
Mom: And they, you know, [00:43:00] their great grandsons are parents, you know, are very good to me and have me over and bring them over.
And, um, and my grandchildren check in with me and with their home, they come see me or [00:43:15] we'll have lunch. And they're very important in my life. I'm very lucky to have them.
Jim Baker: And you moved down here how many years ago?
Mom: Well, I moved December of 2012.
Jim Baker: Okay, [00:43:30] nice. So 12 years. Yeah. Coming up. And, so you got your most of your family around now.
Um, so. To do the you, but obviously you do. You have your friends still, um, and I [00:43:45] think you like your alone time every once in a while as well. So how do you balance all that?
Mom: Well, I wish I, I could get up and see the friends in, in New Jersey, I mean in Connecticut a lot, but you know, I've met friends here, [00:44:00] knitting friends.
Mm-Hmm. Very nice. Um, you know, I keep busy and usually if I get could you come for the. Great Grands. I mean, sure. Um, but I, I'm, you know, [00:44:15] I, I used to, before Covid I used to volunteer everywhere. I volunteered at the hospital and at Safe Child, and then there were younger grandchildren here that I would pick up.
So I was busier than Covid OVD hit. And that was a ruination [00:44:30] for everyone. And, um. Yeah. But you know, I if a grand only one grandchild's here now that has sports and went last night and saw her play [00:44:45] football and she'll be swimming.
Jim Baker: Yeah. So what do you think the secret is? Like, you know, you, you obviously are very active for your age and, um, [00:45:00] seem to.
Be grateful and enjoy life. So what do you think it is?
Mom: I don't know. I think that I don't wanna get to the point that I can't do that. I have a friend now [00:45:15] who's, well, she's a little bit younger than me, but she's like, doesn't wanna drive and doesn't want to, I don't wanna get like that. And I said, well, when you don't, when your daughter's not here, what do you do?
She said, well, nothing. [00:45:30] And she counts on me every Friday to go over for lunch. I mean, and then she has plays Bunco and she does that. But I don't wanna get to that point that I, I can't do that unless I know that I can't. Mm-Hmm. Really can't. [00:45:45] So, I don't know what the issue is. Maybe have, having so many, many, um, I feel very grateful that I can share and.
My grandchildren and my children's lives. Um, [00:46:00] but I, I never wanna be a burden, that's for sure.
Jim Baker: Yeah. The old burden. Right. So you've lived in all these different places. What's your, what's the most favorite place you ever lived?
Mom: I think, [00:46:15] I liked New Jersey a lot. I liked once I got there, and then of course Ridgeville, 'cause I was there the longest. Mm-Hmm. And people said, would you. Hated it. I said, yeah, I did. But you know, he, [00:46:30] I liked, you know, I could go, poughkeepsie's changed some, but I, you know, I couldn't go back there now.
Jim Baker: Right. Well you had this innate ability too to, you know, you, we move in and, you know, you [00:46:45] weren't thrilled about leaving 'cause you had developed all these good relationships in your place where you lived earlier and then you go to a new place. But the. You were wildly, um, what's the word I'm looking for?
Um, open and people gravitated towards you, [00:47:00] so it was very easy for you to make friends right away. Um, which I was helpful for us kids back then too, because those people that you became friendly with had kids also. And most of the time we matched up with them, so we were able to make friends right away as [00:47:15] well.
Um, so that's, I think that's a wonderful personality trait to have. 'cause some people. Wouldn't be able to adjust quickly enough. And you seem to adjust, especially growing up in one town your entire life.
Mom: I don't know that I ever [00:47:30] helped my children to adapt to the new place.
Jim Baker: Well, you did indirectly. That's what I was trying to say. 'cause you know, first off, you always told us, um, you, we had to play outside no matter what. So [00:47:45] if we went to school, you know, and we got home at whatever it was, three o'clock in the afternoon, we had a little quick little snack for about five seconds.
You had to inhale it and then bang, we were out the door and it wasn't 'cause we wanted to be out the door. I sometimes we wanted just hang out and watch tv, but you force us to go outside and [00:48:00] therefore, if we're outside. And other kids are in the neighborhood, they're out there. We're gonna naturally, eventually, you know, want to connect with 'em even though we really don't want to do that.
Um, so because you forced us to get out there, um, I think that was a big, big help as well. And because you also met people right [00:48:15] away. And, um, and again, like I said, they had kids, you know, back then too. So, you know, it was your, your, your indirect, or I shall, shall I say, direct motivation of. Get the stink blown off.
You get outside and I don't care if [00:48:30] it's raining, I don't care if it's snowing, I don't care if it's hot, I don't care if it's cold, you're know, gonna play outside and
Mom: well, I couldn't be winning mother of the year,
Jim Baker: but you are. But that ended up being a great thing from a parent perspective because, you know, it [00:48:45] gave, it forced us to adapt and to adjust and to.
Um, hopefully become stronger for it, you know, down the road.
Mom: Well, when we lived in New Jersey, you might not remember, but it was freezing cold, freezing. And someone [00:49:00] from a friend from Maryland called me and she said, is it cold up there? I said, oh yeah, she got, your house is so quiet. And I said, well, the kids are outside.
She said, outside. It's like, zero out. I said, I [00:49:15] know. They'll warm up. They come in, they, they went to remember Lake Leica or something? Yeah, yeah. We used to ice skate over there. Ice skate? Yeah. And she said, Gail, I can't, you always have them outside, [00:49:30] but wouldn't you take pity on them? I said, no, they're going.
Jim Baker: Never, never. So we usually end with five takeaways. So five things that you wanna. Tell your listeners as a, as [00:49:45] advice life, life advice, types of things. But before we do that rapid fire, just five quick questions. Favorite football team?
Mom: Dallas. It used to be, might be leaving. I'm so mad at them.
Jim Baker: We already know about the favorite place to [00:50:00] live.
You said favorite food was Italian. Um, favorite grandkid.
Mom: All. All 11
Jim Baker: favorite son. All
Mom: four,
Jim Baker: three. Favorite movie [00:50:15] of all time?
Mom: Gosh, I'd probably go on with the wind.
Jim Baker: Alright. And what that's, that's Catherine's too, by the way. That's Catherine's her granddaughter. Yeah. And favorite, um, singer?
Mom: [00:50:30] Johnny Mathis.
Jim Baker: He's still around, right?
Mom: He is. I went to see him. He was great. We all sang along with him.
Jim Baker: That's great. So give us your takeaways. Five things you want to leave the audience [00:50:45] with.
Mom: Well, I guess, I don't know. Enjoy each day. Be grateful for each day that you have people around you that. Care for you and that you love.[00:51:00]
Um, be nice to people, you know, acknowledge people in the stores and all comment on their sweater or the earrings. Make them happy too. Um, and, and [00:51:15] just be grateful, I think is the most thing.
Jim Baker: Anybody wanna say hi to
Mom: everyone?
Jim Baker: All right, Richfield. Oh, can they see this Ridgefield? They're, I'm gonna send it out there while they're
Mom: crying in their beer right now.
With what the Yankees, Yankees
Jim Baker: losing. [00:51:30] Yeah, that's true. Yeah. But I'm gonna send it out so hopefully they'll see it.
Mom: Yeah.
Jim Baker: Well, thank you for coming.
Mom: Thank you for having me. I learned
Jim Baker: more today than I have in my 60 plus years of life
Mom: and I'm not even done.[00:51:45]
Jim Baker: Thank you everybody. And as always if you need some tea 50 cups tea.com. Um, happy to my next email blast. I'll send out the recipe for this. Family recipe that we've had in the So good and, and the family [00:52:00] for what? Your mom made it first, right? Yeah. So almost a hundred years now. So God bless and good luck.
Thank you.