00:01 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
You are listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, texas. This is the Parsha Review Podcast.
00:01 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
All right, welcome back everybody to the weekly Parsha Review Podcast and we are going to talk about the blessing that Jacob gives to his children. So we know, in this week's Parsha we see how Jacob is about to die and he calls his children together, all 12 tribes, and he says I'm about to die and I want to give you blessings, and he does so to Ruhu Vain, to all of the, all of the tribes. And the obvious question is why is the blessing that is given to Shimon and Levi, the second and third child of Jacob? It's different, it's not even a blessing, it's really an admonishment, a criticism, a critique of them. And what the critique is about is about when they killed the people of Shachem, of Nablus and they tricked them into an agreement which was a fake agreement. Jacob was very upset about that trickery and he says they use trickery in the way they act and Jacob, being a man of truth, couldn't appreciate trickery, he didn't like trickery, he wasn't happy with it, and that's basically the blessing he says to them is really a criticism. So the question is and we discussed this in our Parsha review segment. What is the blessing here? How come Ruhu, vain, yehuda, yisachar, zavul and Danavtali God, asha, yosef, which is a Freiman, menasha and Benjamin they all get blessings, but Shimon and Levi don't. So what's really going on here? And I'd like to talk about this a little bit.
01:53
In the past we mentioned the incredible teaching from my late great grandfather where he says that if you really love someone and care about them, the greatest blessing you can bestow upon them is to give them heartfelt, sincere criticism. Now, of course, we know the Talmud. The Talmud in Yovamot tells us that just like there's a mitzvah to criticize someone who will listen and accept your critique, there's a mitzvah not to give criticism to someone who you know will not accept it. And we discussed this numerous times the importance of knowing who it is, who is your audience. And if you know who the person is and you know how they would react, then you know exactly if you can say it, if you cannot, and, if you do, how you can say it. So it's definitely not talking about a random stranger, that you just walk over to them and say, hey, just by the way, that's not the way you should parent your child. That's not the way you should drive your car, etc. Etc.
02:54
We have to be very, very careful in who we give criticism to and how we give criticism. There's a mitzvah in the Torah, ocher tochchachasame secho in Leviticus, where the Torah tells us, where God teaches us, that it's proper for you, when you see someone doing something wrong, to correct them. Now, if they're not capable of hearing it, they're not mature enough, they're not spiritually connected enough to appreciate what it is that you're telling them and take it to heart. So then there's a mitzvah to not say anything. Okay, so what is about Shimon and Levi that Yaakov is really talking about? He's giving them criticism and just to add some light to this, is that the greatest gift you can give someone is criticism? Why? Because it's greater than giving them a blessing. This is my thought on this is that a blessing is not up to you. A blessing is up to the Creator, the Creator of Heaven and Earth. If Hashem decides to bestow that goodness that was blessed by someone else upon you, then it'll happen, but you have no power to make it happen. Criticism is different Criticism you have the ability to make that change. You can affect that change. It's in your own hands and that's why I think it's the greatest gift.
04:19
But I want to point something out from two weeks ago's Torah portion, parshash Meekh Cates. We see that the brothers of Joseph are coming to Egypt. They're finally, you know, seen by Yosef. Now Yosef recognizes them, but they don't recognize Yosef. And Rashi over here says they didn't recognize him. Why didn't they recognize him? Because when he left them, he left them clean-shaven. Now he grew a beard, so they couldn't recognize him. So the obvious question here is really really, because he had a beard, now they couldn't recognize him. What's really going on over here? What do you mean? Because he had a beard? You look at my childhood pictures and you see me as a child and you see me today. Yeah, it's true, I may have a beard, but it's the same guy, most people, that's the way it is. So what's going on here where we're saying because he grew a beard, they couldn't recognize him the brothers.
05:22
So I want to share with you such a beautiful idea and I think this is connecting also to this week's Parshash with Yaakov and that is the brothers couldn't recognize Joseph because what were they looking for, you see, when they came into Egypt? It says that they walked in through all the different gates of Egypt because they were looking. Maybe we'll find Joseph that we sold years ago, maybe we will find him in the marketplace, maybe he'll be a slave here, a slave there. They didn't believe in the greatness of Yosef. They didn't realize that Joseph could be a king of Isroi, a second in command in the country, the one who runs the entire economy of Egypt, the wealthiest country in the world at the time. They didn't believe in him. They didn't see what he was capable of. So you know what they were looking for. They were looking for the guy at the entrance of the country. Well, he'll be a peddler. He'll be selling some. You know, have maybe a little boutique shop. He'll have some type of fragrance shop. He'll have some, he'll have some. They didn't think that their brother Joseph would be so great, would be so high. They didn't believe in him. And therefore our sages tell us they weren't able to recognize him because it's impotent Joseph, the little, lowly Joseph that we know for him to be. Eh, it's not him. So it's not that he just only had a cosmetic difference because he was wearing a beard. Now he was much more. They couldn't see, they couldn't envision him as being someone so great.
07:12
This is the idea here that I want to share with you about this week's parasha that I think is so critically important for every single one of us to know about ourselves and to know about every single person we meet. Every single person is great. You, you are great. You the listener right here, you the listener right here, people sitting here in the classroom, people across the world watching this video you are great. Do you believe in yourself? Do you know what you can accomplish? Do you know the things that you Can succeed in? Or are you the one doubting yourself? Are you like the brothers of Joseph who think, yeah, I'm the little guy, I'm the guy you know, the smallest guy in the company, I'm the little guy, I'll never get things done, it's never gonna happen. Or are you the Joseph who believes in himself? Are you the Jacob who understands the greatness of his children?
08:10
As parents, this is such a critically important quality for us to possess to know the capabilities of our children and to believe in them and To instill in them the confidence you can do it, because you've got amazing talent. You've got amazing capability in our spouse to see their greatness and to give them the encouragement to our friends you got this. You're much better than that. You're bigger than that Because you're so great. You see, each and every one of us sometimes falls short in our own perception of who we are, in our own vision of our capabilities. The brothers didn't see the greatness of their Joseph. Yeah, he's just a dreamer. We sold him as a slave. He probably still is a slave. He's a nobody. If you don't believe in the greatness of somebody, you'll never see their greatness. But if you believe in your greatness, then you can shine.
09:23
And it starts all within. We need to look inside and see the gift that Hashem has given each and every one of us. Every single person is unique. There's no two people on planet Earth, of the billions of people on planet Earth at this moment. There are no two people who are the same. Every single one is unique. You know, take an example of Moshe. You think who would be the greatest leader of any great country, of any nation? Think the person who's poised person, who's a great speaker at a great orator, someone who has the ability to persuade. That's who we look for in a leader, someone who's charismatic Commentaries tell us that Moshe had none of those qualities?
10:13
Moshe had none of those qualities. He wasn't a great speaker. Aralphos Simon says he was. He was. He wasn't able to speak properly. That's the leader of the Jewish people. Who's gonna bring about the greatest miracles. But he had something great within. The virtue that he had was that he was able to feel the pain of his people. That's the leader.
10:42
Sometimes we look for all the wrong things in people. We just have to change what it is that we're looking at. I'll give you a quick example. You know, we all know love. What's love? Oh, I met this girl and we fell in love. I met this guy and we fell in love. Wow, what did you fall in love with?
11:05
Aside for it probably being infatuation or lust, but let's talk about real love. What is real love? So let's say you have the person of your dreams and you're now really in love. Okay, really in love. We can talk about that another time to discuss what love is. Does that person not have any flaws? Of course they have flaws. So why do you? How can you love them so much? How come the other guy you hate for those flaws and this person you love, even though they have those same flaws?
11:38
The answer is that true love means that you're willing to put aside the things you dislike to focus on the things that you do like. Every single person on planet Earth has virtues, has qualities, and every single person has flaws. The question whether you will love them or not is whether you're willing to look at their virtues. Are you willing to look at their qualities and set aside their flaws, set aside their shortcomings? Which one, which one are you going to focus on? When you love someone, you're willing to push aside their flaws. You're willing to look only at their goodness? The same should be with our children. The same should be with every relationship that's meaningful and, hopefully, with every human being. We should have peace with every human being. Why? Always see the good in every person. This is the teachings of our Torah.
12:37
Look throughout the ethics of our fathers, through the Mishnah, you will see this one idea of focusing on the good, judging every person favorably. Yeah, you think you didn't make mistakes. Of course we made mistakes. We all make mistakes, but we look at the good in ourselves. We need to believe in ourselves. The brothers, perhaps, were flawed in this, but Jacob saw the quality in every single one of his children and the blessing he gave was perfect for each child. Recognizing this is your quality, this is your capability, this is your strength and or weakness in bringing it to the focus. This is, I think, the most important lesson we can learn from this week's parasha To take a moment to look into ourselves and recognize what it is that we are capable of, to believe in ourselves, to believe in our children, to believe in our spouses, to believe that we're capable of greatness, because the truth is we are great. Now, if we're willing to believe in ourselves, we'll be able to accomplish great things with it. There's no one in the world who will ever be like you no one. You think differently than everybody else. You speak differently than everyone else. You're given talents and capabilities that are unique to you. Do you believe in you? And that's what we need to start off with.
14:18
This is the last Torah portion in the book of Genesis. The book of Genesis lays the groundwork for the Jewish people. This is the foundation. Next week already, we're in the book of Exodus. We start dealing with slavery. We start dealing with the journey of the Jewish people. But this is about the book of Genesis. This is about the Jewish person, the individual, of how we become great people, and that's how we end off the book of Genesis Focusing on who we are. Believe in yourself and you'll become something really great. My dear friends, have a magnificent Shabbos, have a beautiful Shabbos, have a delightful Shabbos. I look forward to seeing you next week, shabbat shalom.