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Welcome to the TriggerProof podcast.
This is the first season of the Podcast which are audio renditions of
Facebook Live Video Transmissions done for the “TriggerProof” Facebook Community.
These were set up by request of our community members who wanted an opportunity to listen
to insights, tools, and strategies to help heal relationship dynamics, deepen intimacy,
and master the fine art of Autonomic Nervous System Regulation so that we can build resilience,
heal from the past, and become active operators of our mind, body, and life.
This first season wasn’t designed to be a podcast, so you’ll notice the audio isn’t
Professional Studio Quality (like it is on season 2 as we’ve upgraded incrementally).
These trainings are designed to introduce and deepen you to the most critical 2 skills we’ve never been taught:
1) The skill and practice of taking our triggers (Nervous System Activations) and turning them into deeper safety and self-love,
2) The skill and practice of taking conflict (that happens in any relationship) and turning them into deeper intimacy between the parties involved.
Not learning these two critical skills at this time in history costs us dearly: Physical and Mental health is on the DECLINE.
Doing this deep level of healing work can break the cycle of Intergenerational Trauma that didn’t start with you.
It didn’t start with you, but it can end with you,
#Cyclebreaker.
______________________________________________________________________
Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof
[Applause]
notice your breath
[Applause]
take three deep breaths as you're sitting here
opening your heart twisting your hands open as you're sitting scrolling through social media feeling unsafe
surrendering the exhale welcome
can you surrender the exhale hello darling diana's here my wife to be and baby mama
yogi will my good friend will is here killer yogi urban the urban yogi look him up what's up dave my dear quarantinos and quarantinis i have some quorum tips for you today and today we're going to be talking about your dark passenger the carl young's shadow the thing that you've been observing around you and noticing yours probably coming up and bubbling to the surface and it comes up for you in your own very special way and most of the time when we work with our clients about this when they first jump in and start the work they're blown away to realize how this these patterns of behavior have really been driving their life unconsciously i'm a big carl young fan and carl young said that if you until you make the unconscious conscious it will run your life and you will think that it's fate and my unconscious dark passenger programming is always to jump in and get relevant really fast i became a chiropractor i can fix any one of your health problems your body aches boom i can jump in meet you and become very relevant to you very fast and my unconscious shadow when i show up in events in places i'm the guy that's like hey let me adjust you so that i can blow your mind and then you can love me and then therefore i can love myself let me know if you have your little winning formula what's yours mine is my chiropractic stuff and then recently after doing more of the work the inner work that i'm sharing with you guys by the way this is all trigger proof basically the inner work creates you your ability to be trigger proof to be the stillness around the storm that's the holy grail of human existence to become trigger proof it's as the it's the end result of the inner work the inner work of digging up these shadows and making the unconscious conscious so i'm gonna today is about bringing that up for you we're gonna dig up your shadow you're going to look it around you're going to look around and when you can see yours you'll be able to see other people's and then instead of your unconscious pretty much running your life you now will have a firm grasp of the steering wheel and you'll be able to guide it towards creating a life that you desire because if you don't do this and you don't bring it up and you don't actually get into doing the work and having a team of people and the right type of guides that are actually going to hold a mirror to that darkness from yourself it will always be running your life and you're going to pretend that it's not there in fact you're ashamed of it so you don't want anybody to know but when you do it you can actually see it and learn how to dance with it dance with that dark passenger that's really what we're getting you to do that's what we we teach i teach people this all around the world this is the work and the cool part i mean it's so important when you're going through a breakup or a relationship limbo should i stay should i go what should i do with my career it's basically an identity crisis and literally everybody on that planet right now if you're like most of us we're going through that identity crisis so what do you do in in such uncertain times the answer is you got to learn to dance with your dark passenger so mine is all about showing up in a room and going hey i can help and when i'm doing it in an unregulated way in an unconscious way i show up and i abandon myself and i take care of others so that i could be seen and appreciated and loved and if i don't really pay attention i'm abandoning myself i become a pleaser i say yes to everything i don't have boundaries i take on people and have a like a [ __ ] two-hour discovery call with somebody who just wanted you know wasn't ready to do anything about about solving it but just gave up all of my boundaries that i normally would have because i abandoned myself and i really wanted to be important and what ended up happening unconsciously was my body started to give me the signals luckily i'm able to see them now i can look in my own eyes and have an ability of self assessment when we don't do this work when we don't do the shadow work when we don't do the dark passenger work we don't have the ability of self-assessment and if i can't self-assess i can't self-regulate
and so because i was engaged in all that i mean i worked throughout the whole weekend taking on calls emergencies 911s and then yesterday after i took somebody on who just i wasn't protecting my boundaries or i didn't we didn't communicate it properly and all of a sudden boom i collapsed in the afternoon and it came time to do my transmission in the evening and all of a sudden my body started letting me know i started breaking out and it was like oh and then i was able to self assess and then say guys i apologize for this but i didn't actually apologize in in my post you can see it i said i'm going to take the little break so i went to sleep and i woke up and i went for a run self-isolating and seeing how beautiful everything was outside and immediately when i saw a beautiful view outside boom i was brought back to an earlier time when i was 20 years old and i was in school and i dissociated from myself for the sake of being really important in other words you're never if you once you learn these tools you will always see your trigger as an opportunity to go in and love and heal an unloved unhealed part of you there's a million of them throughout your life if you can look back if you can look back on every one of your breakups every one of your rejections every time if you had you know your mother was never there or didn't see you or there was some sort of kind of abuse that happened or you did something with a family member that you feel ashamed of i've heard all of those too those are little micro traumas that have been stored in your body and your body keeps the score and what happens is you walk around with them we're walking wounded everybody's walking wounded especially in my neighborhood i'm in chinatown and i'm walking and i come back and i'm talking to diana on my facetime while i'm walking talking to my sweetheart and all of a sudden i see a car with his window smashed and i was just like oh [ __ ] i looked at it and i'm like oh [ __ ] and then these this couple with a baby kind of walking by and they look and we both notice and we look at each other like oh it's like with everything going on in the world right now to then turn around and see that it was like another demoralizing thing that i was having to adapt to you know what i mean it was really really really really really difficult it was tough
what i want you to do is just to really recognize and identify that the shadow the dark passenger is everywhere and my and here's the thing what i wanted to do what happened was he started going into a story of i can't believe people do that
he goes into it and just like you're doing when you're watching um social media and you're judging and you're saying what the [ __ ] are they doing they should be doing this they shouldn't be doing that and i catch myself doing that too and what i'm doing is is i'm that's my shadow that's my dark passenger at play and when i'm in that mode and that part of my nervous system is firing i am useless to anybody
but as i started taking on that work the difference between me being embodied in my soul awareness versus in my ego shadow basically driving the bus was i was able to then in that moment go ah what's going on in the world the world is going to hell in a handbasket immediately to wow imagine the state that you have to be in as far as a survival mode as far as not knowing what to do that you're willing to override what any soul part of you that exists in all of us deep down in all of us even the guy that stole crashed the window and stole whatever out of the the the car has a soul they they've just been so dissociated from it from their addictions from their traumas i just saw a traumatized soul traumatized soul who was disconnected in complete survival mode who felt that that was their only option and that's what happens to us when our shadow is in the driver's seat i'm not at my best either believe me i'm not great company when my ego shadow is in the driver's seat many of you have known who've known me for a long time can attest to that
it's good to see you all of you i'm grateful for the opportunity to share because i feel that this this conversation is so relevant for you right now because i'm getting you aware of your shadow i'm getting you aware of the second that you're able to identify and self-assess the question is what part of me is self-assessing and the answer to that is that's your soul that's your conscious awareness okay that is the part of you that you have access to in every moment that's going to get you out of this whole crisis stronger than the one that actually came in that was completely disconnected anyway this is the time to connect to that part of you the problem is is that you don't have access i don't have access to that part of me when my nervous system is dysregulated when i'm unconscious so how do we get conscious well we know what's the first step touch your hand to your chest [Applause] connect to breath do it with me three deep breaths
[Applause]
you just contributed to regulating yourself simple free
it works
that's the first step can i can i sense the the my heart rate can i sense the life that's moving through me right now
because that's the real battle here the only way because everybody here's the deal you're in this group and you're in this conversation there's that's a very small percentage of the people on that globe right there are having this level of conversation it's reserved for people who actually want to lead when everything falls apart during times of crisis cuban missile crisis jfk winston churchill during uh you know with nazi germany like this is the time when your leadership is most important and the person in the room that's willing to be the most truthful is the leader the one who can take off their mask and start to share their shame dissolve their shame they're the ones who are leaders those are the people that i want to talk to we are so we have that we have that within us you have that within you if you're in this conversation is because you wanted to have that within you or you were invited here by somebody who really cares about you who's like i really whoever invited you in here if you don't know who i am whoever invited you in here really cares about you they actually care and say look i know i know there's crisis going on but you have an opportunity here to take care of you and i want you to take care of you so that we can take care of each other a lot better that's why they're here because every single transmission i give you is going to bring you back into your heart and bring you back into yourself and i'm going to share with you what's stopping us from doing that
my shadow i don't want to deal with it i don't want to address it i'd rather just ignore it and stay unconscious of it or pretend that it's not there and the problem with doing that the problem with denying our feelings is that the more we hide it the worst progressively it gets with each relationship with each job the problems actually exponentially amplify the undealt with shadow is going to come out anyway and we have one of the people that one of our clients rita she's a um she's a hospice uh nurse practitioner she's a nurse practitioner who helps end and terminal people who are at the end stage and she told me something that was blew my mind like i had never heard this because this is her this is she's an expert at this she's an expert at guiding people to their deaths holy [ __ ] talk about a job talk about stress right okay yeah the person is most truthful in the room those are the leaders yeah perfect so she told me that at the moment of your death there's two types of people those that die peacefully okay those that have gotten complete with their relationships who face their shadow who've actually looked at their dark passenger and did the inte did their integration work this is the work that we do with our clients in our program they the ones who've done that who've taken the time have done the difficult work and dealt with what they had to deal with they actually die quite peacefully it's very uh it's like a it's like a beautiful thing it's like a surreal moment that's quite beautiful and the ones that haven't because let's let's face it nobody really wants to i don't really want to go into those discomforting stories i don't really want to dig up those past stuff the past let's leave it in the past that's what a lot of teachers try to say anybody who tells you let's just leave the past in the past i want you to realize that from rita who watches people die for the last several years those who haven't dealt with their past and haven't dug it up and processed and integrated it they have really disturbing horrible deaths in other words imagine the moment of your death everything that you've been repressing and not dealing with it's like it's going to show up think about it you're going to the next level you're going to you're transitioning talk about transitional anxiety there it's the death it's the physical death what the [ __ ] do you think we're all doing right now all of us are going through a death and a rebirth right now you in your life i don't mean to alarm you but the reason why it's so scary is your old life is about to die and those of us that are clinging on for dear life for our old lives are gonna suffer the most
your job is to die gracefully is to elevate to your next life a life that's the the more authentic version of you the part of you that you've been hiding from the world the part of you that you've been holding on to the mask the part of you that you've been blocking because no i don't like vulnerability i'm really scared i don't really like to do the group thing i don't really do the social media thing because uh in reality i'm [ __ ] terrified of really being seen because if i'm seen then i then you see me you really see me what's gonna happen you're not gonna love me you're gonna reject the real me and i can't deal with that so i'm going to create a story that i don't like public places i don't like this and guess what that's your [ __ ] shadow you're avoiding
and this is the time that it's showing up the most if you're like most people on that planet
of course the world is going to hell in a handbasket of course people are their truth is starting to bubble up and the truth will set you free but it will [ __ ] trigger the [ __ ] out of you that's why people avoid me a lot it's not i smell good that's not the problem is that they're afraid of the truth and i tell them i tell people yeah i know these these these top the show that i do every transmission that i do is designed to trigger you because it's to expose the truth so that you can look at it and then you can be the source of the healing but the most unconscious people will look and say oh i don't like you you offend me you are this you like everybody the whole world it's a good time to talk about this the whole world is living under the delusion that i'm supposed to be safe and everybody's supposed to keep me safe so i don't want you to say anything that's going to create this internal disruption inside of me that is exposing a part of me that i don't like so i don't want you to say anything stay away from me and i'm going to avoid all people who bring that up welcome to the victim identity welcome to 99 of the world right there and it's showing up and the and what's happening is it's sifting away who the true leaders are the leaders who say yeah i don't have control yeah there might be some shady [ __ ] going on with whatever conspiracy is going on that's fine but i'm not actually going to play victim to it i'm going to take care of the one thing that i do have control over and that's my own nervous system and i'm going to take care of the people around me that actually need me because everyone there is completely disregulated and needs my space needs my presence and my being to help regulate and you have that capability you have the capability within your nervous system to resonate to attune to a state of gratitude to a state of grace to a state of service to a state of absolute unconditional love so that when people are actually in your space they have no choice but to feel it it's unfucking mistakeable they see that in you that's how you you have that capability like it's in you it's there it's there within your potential what's stopping us from experiencing that the hormones of stress
and an incomplete unaware kind of framework of specifics of who you would love to become for the world and your family that's it and to double down on investing in yourself to learn how to do that when everyone is going no i'm going to be safe and i just going to protect and that's what everyone can do instead the leaders are like i got to become that i got to do whatever it takes i gotta you know like this is it i mean i i have a team of coaches that i hired i'm supporting one of my clients one of my high profile clients um alex moscow was helping him and i went to one of his events to support him as his coach and i was like he teaches coaches how to run really great events and i'm like well [ __ ] i need to learn how to uplevel my events i'm ready to upgrade i upgraded and i'm like okay i'm in this program and i'm learning right now guess what he teaches events what has stopped literally overnight right after right after i sign up to pay a lot of money to learn how to up level my events what happens
all of a sudden the world starts to fall apart literally in the same month and now i have to cancel my events so my ego is like oh well i have to cancel i have to back out i have to and i was like wait a second this is the time to double down this is the time to double down and i'm so proud of that coaching team and what they've done is they've because they're doing the work they're doing the work that's why i hired them they're doing the work they actually have pivoted and adapted so that they can serve us exactly where we're at right now and all of a sudden this new idea has emerged from my calls with them and the coaching that i'm getting and it's like no no i'm not backing out i'm doubling down and something that i've always wanted to do is now came up within an hour and i'm literally putting it together i have clients who help serve other clients chiropractic patients acupuncturists medical doctors they're in my program like people who serve other people are learning how to heal their stuff and become better leaders to heal their past to get aligned with a purpose to heal their relationship traumas all of that stuff leaders we go through it too we need to we need to take our own medicine
and now what's happening is many chiropractors dentists healers in the working in the helping profession are locked out of their offices and they don't have an ability to you know do chiropractic care on their patients or it's moving in that direction some are still working you know you might have an opinion about that and i certainly do as well and when i get into overview i understand it all even though i don't have control over people it's another thing i don't have control over i can sit there and yell and scream and tell people what to do essentially i've given up on that and i'm now releasing control and stepping into what i'm here to do which is to teach people how to adapt to crisis so that they can come across on the greater version of them offering the universe the world something their gifts in a moment where they need it the most so it's not for them to retreat it's now it's now time to expand yourself and so what's come of it after i've danced with that darkness is this deep desire to start to teach the overview method to people so that they can help do nervous system regulation and transformations for in a virtual setting so that when they go back to their offices they can still see patients if you want you know some of my clients are like you know i don't i don't really want to go back to my practice anymore i think this is the time for me to move virtual and yes i would like your guidance on on helping me do that how do i you know what's the problem the problem is i can't how do i share my gifts that i have with people to heal from a virtual standpoint i'm like well [ __ ] i've only been spending the last 10 years mastering that i can teach you and i'm now moving on to that adapting all of a sudden that came through and it happened because i doubled down i committed to something greater and it's like oh instead of retreating i'm advancing but my dark passenger wants to keep me safe wants to stop me from advancing but there's a little voice inside of me that's been yelling and saying you gotta for la last four or five years saying you gotta teach people how to facilitate you gotta teach people how to regulate their nervouses how to teach their clients and communities how to regulate their nervous systems virtually from a mind and body standpoint this is for people who great with personal development who've had experience maybe coaches they've done some nlp training or whatever it is that they have some foundational you know background they're the ones that are going to get the most out of it and i'm really delighted to be offering that now that's now in the works i'm creating a training now for it now i'm inspired now it's an opportunity and those those people who are actually there they're like oh my god this is so exciting it's what i've always wanted to do and i'm [ __ ] scared that is called eustress so there's two types of stress i want you to write this down please okay double down aka rebirth absolutely beautiful i want you to write this down there's two types of stress okay there's distress
and then there's eustress okay distress is what everybody's feeling this is what most are feeling and this is when your nervous system your sympathetic is fight or flight or you're in dorsal vagal if you go back to day three if you're new go back to day three we taught you how to differentiate between the three ladders of your nervous system dorsal vagal shut down freeze you know you gotta be able to self-assess so you can regulate dorsal veins shut down freeze sympathetic frustration fear anger you know rage and then ventral veigal which is i'm here dancing and i'm not faking it i'm not bullshitting you can actually feel my nervous system like you can't fake that part because people can feel it you have to authentically be there you can't fake it that's why i didn't do the transmission last night i was like i can't fake this [ __ ] right now i'm not good i gotta i gotta take care of me
so on the other side of doing this and learning how to dance with your dark learning how to regulate your nervous system your authentic version starts to bubble to the surface you know the one that you've been hiding and pretending and trying to look good and be right the part that's exhausting to try to be that exhausting part of you putting on this happy face and hey and just hiding the truth from other people that's [ __ ] exhausting isn't it i know you can then sink into your authentic self where your voice comes out your voice emerges through it
so two types of stress
when you're dancing with your dark passenger you gotta be aware of this type number one my mom's calling me right now
hi mom i'm doing a facebook live i'll call you right back afterwards son
okay love you
it's my mom she wants to come visit drop off some stuff great it'd be great to see her um yeah it's it's good to it's good it's good to be loved i mean that's i haven't had a hug in like [ __ ] i don't even remember that's hard that's hard on me i just realized i'm a huggy person i'm an affectionate type of person i haven't had a hug i miss my partner a lot you know diana i miss you it's not easy being here like this it's hard it's very difficult and i just realized like i haven't had a hug this is if i don't make this a priority there's no way that i can actually uh show up for anybody there's no way i would have had the strength to do all seven days twice a day except last night you know yeah mom no you can't visit yeah totally so distress is when you feel that everything that's happening is on it is in the way why because you're clinging to your old life on that planet which sorry but the old life doesn't exist anymore it's gone it's wise and really amazing for you we did this yesterday i had everybody write in my old life is is gone i have no control of that and i love it please write that down
i know it sounds counter counter-intuitive because your ego really wants to cling onto it i just want you to just look there and say my old life is gone i have no control and i love it write that down please my old life is gone i have no control and i love it so distress is all of this is in the way and when i have the belief and the perception that what's happening is in the way what's going to happen is my nervous system goes into dysregulation i go into sympathetic i go into fight and then i start to have these goggles you know what i'm talking about when you're activated the rage turns up and then all of a sudden you put on your goggles and everything in the world is with your sympathetic goggles you're my enemy you're an [ __ ] that's when you start nitpicking at your partner and you start to see flaws you start screaming at your staff because of all the things they aren't doing right you start looking in the mirror and going i hate this about you i hate this about you i always hated this about you oh look at what's going on and you are literally seeing the world through these goggles this is pretty much how the entire world is in distress because of their perception that this is all in my way because i'm clinging on to an old life which no longer exists and now i'm going to i'm going to based on neuroscience and my nervous system i'm going to only selectively attend to [ __ ] that's going to uh support this new story of my of my uh despair some people live like that constantly i'm not judging you i'm just saying if that's the case is because you've had an event that you haven't yet learned the tools of self-regulation for that has now had you it was in the way you're still angry if you have that anger that's what's happening you've now in your timeline have experienced an event and your body is now stuck in a nervous system pattern of distress and now you have these goggles and now you're a victim everywhere that's why when you date somebody who isn't complete with their past you are going to end up becoming their perpetrator and if you are somebody with an unhealed past you're going to get into a relationship with somebody who will start to display the traits of your previous perpetrator why because you have these [ __ ] goggles on and everything looks like a [ __ ] attack on you everything does when you're in that space when you're in distress now there's the other part if you learn how to dance with that dark passenger and you learn how to integrate that part of you and you've learned to [ __ ] face it and experience it you go on to the other side the distress and you do the work and you kind of like what i'm doing consistently i'm sharing it with you as i go on with my coach today i was like oh my god all of a sudden i have this anxious excitement you know what i'm talking about anxious excitement it's like anxiety but it's a positive it's like excitement and what that is is called eustress e-u-s-t-r-e-s-s it means that the stress that i'm encountering is actually not in the way but it's on the way this is what i'm here for this is what i was put on this earth i have a lot of fears i have a lot of doubts yes i do however this is on the way
it's on the way and i'm gonna do it with through my fears and my doubts they're part of the game [Music] you there's the call you know there's in your hero's journey there's the ordinary world this is like anything from wizard of oz to the matrix to um wonder woman to iron man to batman every superhero story follows this pattern where you have the ordinary world you know your regular life and then boom you have a call to adventure ring ring follow the white rabbit okay that was neos follow the white rabbit okay and then as he follows the white rabbit call to adventure it's like oh by the way neo you're the one what is what's the next part of it of your hero's journey he answered the call goes follows the white rabbit what's the next part no no i'm not the one that's too big for me even jesus went through that jesus when he was told this is your your uh your mission he was like no like i can't like i can't do it forget it he wasn't all like woo hoo i'm taking this on even in the baha'i faith when baha'u'llah was given his mission he just was like he had to you know go off and and uh in seclusion for a while and go what the heck every hero's journey follows the same path that call to adventure which is what's happened right now what's happening right now is your call to adventure in your hero's journey it's your call to adventure the adventure of becoming more authentically you becoming the kind of person to strip away all of the shadows to strip away all the lies the pretending the repressions the suppressions face that shadow face which you haven't been and actually step up and lead what you've always wanted to do but you've been too busy in your golden prison of comfort which was miserable
right and as you do that hey ed nice to see you brother make sure you go back and watch the start if you've jumped on now you're not going to want to miss any of these transmissions each one will leave you connected to your heart with something to think about in an action step that you can step up immediately and start to change the environment around you to support your greater vision that's every single call the feedback's been amazing i love what you got feel free i'm in quarantine send me messages telling me what impacts it's had and that would make a huge impact for me and that helps to keep me going to let me know the feedback that you have i would love it that would be amazing um because i want to know what how it's landing for you and what you'd love to hear and how we can support how i can support you even more i really would love to know that so it's calling on us to step up and then here's the thing when you do step up you're gonna still experience stress in the hero's journey the next part is refusal of the call no i don't want to do it and we go through that with a hundred percent of our clients after they sign up and they do it they're like oh no no i have this and then the excuses start to come up well i can't oh my gosh i can't it the coronavirus has come up which is an excuse so and so has come up another excuse oh i i didn't check with so-and-so it always comes up it's supposed to it's part of the process you've got to actually embrace that to do that that's called the refusal of the call and then the next phase when you start to continue your adventure into the unknown you're going to meet mentors and guides along the path as i have i've had many along the path and i'm super grateful for it but that's actually a part of your journey right now i'm guiding you on this part of the path you've chosen me to help guide you or you've been dumped into this group against your will as a possible uh allowing me to kind of join you on this path some of you've been showing up to every single uh transmission or training for like years you know for years and i've never met you so it's grateful to to be on this path with you during this difficult time this is the time where the truth of who we really are will show up who's been doing their work and who hasn't this is going to show up i want you to be part of the ones that thrive
your ability to thrive will entirely be your ability to regulate your nervous system because when you do all of a sudden you see opportunity and you're like oh my god this is on the way it's not in the way distress turns to eustress but yeah but in order to do that you must have a good self awareness system self assessment system and by doing that you must embrace your shadow you must embrace that part of you that
you don't really wanna you don't wanna talk about you followed you over a year yes fantastic entire anteater
so what i want you to do is to first and foremost join me in reconnecting to yourself
taking a deep breath and acknowledging the fear that you're going through and as you're touching your hand on your chest listening i did a session with someone earlier and she was supports other people she supports leaders i'm here to support you because i'm assuming that you're stepping up and wanting to become a more emergent leader or you already are and you're just looking for some support right now and you're kind of on the sidelines and you haven't engaged and that's okay even if you're a lurker i still love you
she couldn't she was like i don't know how i feel i just don't know what i'm feeling and we found out as i dropped in and i asked her i said what are you making all of this mean right now and she started crying when she realized because i feel like i'm letting people down i'm like ah interesting i'm letting people down i'm a disappointment and so we went back and guess what she's 10 years old she couldn't join her friends in the band because for a trip a band trip her parents strict italian kept her home and she was home disappointed feeling like she couldn't join because she disappointed them and that's what came up for her and we had a chance to do the overview method on that and have her feel so much more resourced and ready to lead back where she is meant to lead
can you acknowledge in your heart your dark passenger what's the story that's coming up for you right now i'm not safe i'm gonna be missing out i don't belong take a moment and write it down
beautiful mariah
what's the story that you're making up check in write it down
i'm not safe i'm not loved i'm not good enough find out where it's coming from
let's go back to our earliest memory where that story is coming i'm not good enough perfect
you're gonna go back and you're gonna experience that
antea i can see that wound is is deep there and i can feel it in you and that's part of why you're so angry and you're sharing you've been very open about sharing that and i can't wait to you really jump in and pick that apart your only thing in your way will be your story of oh i've already done the work i do the work a lot of people say that if there's still that amount of charge there's an opportunity there
yeah i'm not doing enough kelly that's a good one let's go back to your earliest memory kelly there's going to be a younger version of you that shows up with it
can you see where she is and where she's or he is right now in their room school that's really what's going on and when you're unconscious of it you're passing that on to the kids that's basically how the trauma kind of perpetuates
so as you're looking at her and you're seeing that younger version of you connect with her and drop in and really let her know look in her eyes i see you can you empathize with that younger version
can you empathize with what's coming up for them
let them know that you see them and it makes total sense why they feel that way
and now let them know in their sadness
let them know
what was going on for the parents while they were going through all that even though mom and dad loved you they were in a deep state of trauma and alarm
they have tons of intergenerational trauma that they have no idea how to manage and you're bringing it up as kids do let them know it's not about them it's not about you
as you connect with that version of you let them know exactly what their advice is your advice is to them
what do you want to tell them
what do they need to hear from you the most how would you advise them in this moment
pay attention to what you're saying by the way
now as you hold them and let them kind of feel all of their feelings letting them know all of their feelings are valid and welcome and that you're a safe space for them spend some time with them
let them know that
you're there you're committed to beginning a brand new relationship with them
and as you hold them watch and feel their bodies relax into your embrace relax into your embrace
beautiful kelly
and now you're going to bring that version of you to your current life of what's going on around you with all of their mysteries all of their fears all of their with will i be okay walk them around of what you have around you the amazing gifts that you have
feel the gratitude
as you look at your current reality of what you've accomplished through all of those fears
from the perspective of that younger self
feel it and now taking that advice that you gave that version of you
bring that on and project that into your future as you're stepping up and leading in a brand new way the new identity the greater version the expanded version of you that leads through your fears what would you love to create what's the vision can you hold that vision
get really clear
feel it feel the gratitude feel the future vision can you feel the gratitude of that future vision as though it's happening now carry that forward with you
and now you're going to ask the universe for a sign a little sign
that leaves you with no doubt that you have a co-creative
connection that you're not alone
ask for that sign now
it will show up
you can open your eyes amazing antea great i'm glad that that's coming through for you what was the message that you got from your younger self i'd love to see it i'd love to hear it this is my commitment to you is the way that you feel if you've been following along you will feel a deep sense of calm in your body with an intention in the present future whereas before when you're in distress and your shadow is driving the bus you're only in fear and literally the the condition of your nervous system determines how you show up so my question to you is how what what vision came through on that what was the vision that came through
what was the vision that came through
and here's the question are you ready to go all in with that vision number one number two what's the cost to you and your life if you don't in other words there must be a cost of inaction i got off a call with somebody yesterday who shared with me that the cost of his inaction to step up was a daughter that was going to basically live with the same lack of safety that he did because of the war that he experienced war when he was younger she's experiencing a similar war with her mother and her father and he's like ah i'm in the middle of it and i'm recreating it a lot the cost of his inaction was a life down the road where he was comfortable but miserable and health problems going downhill that probably would end up having him leave the earth a lot sooner so he became present to the cost of inaction that was what i had to sit down and think about and ponder and journal during these changing times this is the this is when you gotta really face that you gotta but you can't do that if you're not willing to face number one total acceptance and lack letting go of control i have no control my old life is finished and i love it step one total acceptance step two resourcing yourself so that you can create a vision because we've now healed those past wounds because those past wounds are rocks in your backpack if you're gonna tr travel up to your next level you can't do it with those same [ __ ] rocks you've been doing it and it's exhausting you must commit to transforming that i'm doing a um a five hour uh workshop this saturday we're preparing it putting it all together for 20 20 of you who are ready to get started on that and just five hours and we're going in to some past events and we're going to clear it and then show you how to regulate and go back and show you how to deprogram your nervous system from years of trauma from those old events so that when you're taking that next step you can do it with freedom we're gonna do it on a zoom call and it's only ready for 20 and there's only like five spots remaining because they've been spoken for people have reached out and it's it's the next step of of the for those who are ready to actually step up and lead because hey i gotta adapt what i'm offering and just the same way that you do i'm adapting my offering to suit the exact needs of my community around me and you can do the exact same thing you're actually it's your duty and obligation to the people around you who need you who are looking up to you you have that capability so i'd love i i if this is interesting to you if this is something that you're committed i don't want to i don't want interested i want committed uh let me know and then i'll we'll work on setting that up and i already have like five spots left there's like 15 taken so otherwise i'm still going to be doing these but though this is for leaders this is for the general population i'm doing this i'm you know you're my quarantino my quarantinos and quarantinis uh some corn tips for you during the quarantine during the quarantine uh and those that are ready to lead i want to talk to i want to work with with those people those are i'm ready to share it i'm ready to start teaching people how to do this and i want to help you by removing the rocks in your backpack that's the only way that's the only way you can do it was a is with a regulated nervous system all right realizing my constant feeling lack holy [ __ ] money career relationship boom yeah imagine kelly when we actually dive in to do the work this is just a facebook live right so this is the path and it's gonna scare the [ __ ] out of you and that's okay are you willing to embrace that in order to become what you've destined to be and this whole [ __ ] is giving you the opportunity are you willing to be courageous are you willing to go all in with yourself
by yourself i mean that younger self that's been begging you for your attention all this time that younger version kelly porn tips all right quarantinos and quarantinis all right guys any questions tonight i'll be back ready for q a at 7 p.m pacific time uh early in the morning in uh europe grateful for those of you who are jumping in i hope that i'm inspiring you to step up into your greater version i want to talk to you if that's you those are the people that i'm interested in in working with so big love to you send me a dm if you have any questions of what content you want here i'm gonna put together a little uh something whipping it up over the weekend it's gonna be magical and i really look forward to taking those that are ready to adapt and see this as on the way and create eustress to combat the distress that's really the way you dance with your dark passenger how to get out of distress is to create something in your path that scares the [ __ ] out of you that you have control over sort of control over that you are like i'm gonna scare myself i'm gonna jump in it's like every time that you've made a big purchase of a house every time or a car it's this is the same thing it's like oh my god am i really gonna make it you think you're gonna die and you're gonna starve but then six months later a year later you're like yeah i adapted through it it was just the fear of leveling up you have to be willing to feel that that's the only thing you're either willing to feel it or you're going to stay where you are and the world changes and you're going to be waiting for someone to come and rescue you this is for you to be the rescuer while holding yourself fully together while you do that and not abandoning yourself and having the self-awareness and self-assessment to be able to check in and know exactly how your nervous system is and learn how to regulate yourself so you can step up and lead others i can't wait to teach this this is it's time it's time all right take care see you later tonight we will talk yeah right on taya someday right it's not on the sunday is not on the calendar fyi entire someday is not on the calendar you must do it immediately if that's the case and i get it that's okay you've been following my content for over a year we will talk one day someday it's gotta be i just want i'm gonna leave you with this someday is not on the calendar some day is now