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"I feel like I'm drifting."
"I feel numb. What's the point?"
"I don't know where I belong."
"I see people doing things they are passionate about and doubt whether I have it in me."
"I have no fire."
"There is no meaning in what I do."
"I don't know who I am."
☝🏽I hear all of that often.
I figured out the 7 reasons why we can't find our purpose and 3 action steps you can make to solve this riddle so that it's possible to wake up and be fired up about what you're doing.
Without understanding this--
we are relegated to a life of living someone else's vision instead of our own.
Who needs to hear this?
Forward it to them-- or invite them into this group and tag them.
What resonated with you?
If you know your purpose-- what helped you get there?
Welcome to the TriggerProof podcast.
This is the first season of the Podcast which are audio renditions of
Facebook Live Video Transmissions done for the “TriggerProof” Facebook Community.
These were set up by request of our community members who wanted an opportunity to listen
to insights, tools, and strategies to help heal relationship dynamics, deepen intimacy,
and master the fine art of Autonomic Nervous System Regulation so that we can build resilience,
heal from the past, and become active operators of our mind, body, and life.
This first season wasn’t designed to be a podcast, so you’ll notice the audio isn’t
Professional Studio Quality (like it is on season 2 as we’ve upgraded incrementally).
These trainings are designed to introduce and deepen you to the most critical 2 skills we’ve never been taught:
1) The skill and practice of taking our triggers (Nervous System Activations) and turning them into deeper safety and self-love,
2) The skill and practice of taking conflict (that happens in any relationship) and turning them into deeper intimacy between the parties involved.
Not learning these two critical skills at this time in history costs us dearly: Physical and Mental health is on the DECLINE.
Doing this deep level of healing work can break the cycle of Intergenerational Trauma that didn’t start with you.
It didn’t start with you, but it can end with you,
#Cyclebreaker.
______________________________________________________________________
Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof
Good evening! or Good morning or Good afternoon! I mean this is the internet. Give me a hashtag replay, if you're watching this on replay or on youtube.
Why do I even bother saying good morning or good evening or anything like that. Welcome! I love this conversation. I just wanted to tell you this is probably my very favorite conversation in the world. We're going to be talking about purpose. Why is that so important? Well if we don't get this part right, then the time that we spend on this planet this very brief time becomes very
increased in levels of suffering. So what I'd like for you to do before I begin-- Hey what's up Leslie? What I'd like for you to do before I begin is grab your calculator right now, okay? I just did this exercise a few seconds ago. I want you to grab your calculator right now and do this and write in the comment section with me, all right? So here's what I'm going to get you to do. I want you to grab your calculator and I want you to hit 95, okay? Let's say I live to be 95 that's fair to say. I'd have lived a very long life. If I die at 95, no one's going to go, "Oh, that Nima! He died too young." So it's fair to say. 95 minus your current age, which I'm 45 and now you have that number. So I want you to get that number down and then here's what I want you to do is multiply that number by 365. Boom! This is my number. What's your number? Write it in the comments section. Go ahead and write it in the comments section. This is the number of days that I have left. It's a pretty big wake-up call, right? We forget. This is why I like to use social medias to awaken people whereas social media usually is there to kind of numb you out and put you to sleep. I'd like to invite you to wake up a little bit and have a conscious conversation over something very important because I have eighteen thousand days! Eighteen thousand and two hundred fifty days left to live and I actually without knowing most of us are unaware that we have choice in how those 18 thousand 250 days can go. I actually have a choice. I have a say. I have some level of agency in kind of guiding those 18 thousand 250 days and Leslie's got 17 thousand 520. All right! Now here's a neat awareness-- Thank you for writing it. Go ahead and write it out. What is the number that you have, like how many days do you have left, you know if you're lucky, if you're lucky enough to live that and then here's the question the other question that, I put my chiropractor hat on, is what are the quality of those days going to be like?
Guess? What I discovered in my study of mind body healing in wellness in all of this is that I actually have a say in how those 18 000 days that are remaining So, I had a question come in from a gentleman named I believe it was Eric. I forget his name. I think it was Eric. I talked to a lot of people. A lot of people dm me. So, he was a a good high school friend of a client of mine and said, "I really want to talk to this Nima guy." He talked to me and he said, "I just.. I don't know what my purpose is. I'm in my relationship. My relationship's okay. But now it's starting to be strained because she wants me to step up and and lead and and live a purposeful life." If you're a man, if you're a masculine in your relationship, that's really what the feminine wants from us. Most of the time they say, "I just want him to make me his whole world." No that's not what the feminine, the divine feminine wants. When the divine feminine meets a masculine, who makes her his whole world, she then dumps that guy and goes after a guy who's mission driven because that is what allows a woman in a relationship to feel safety, feel that that this man is building something. He is dedicated to a cause. That's great! And men want to have a woman well in these days and age using men women masculine feminine.... let's just
for the sake of generality, because everybody gets triggered nowadays. Everybody's kind of like looking for something to get triggered by. Let's just say masculine feminine. And the feminine wants to feel the safety of a masculine, who's mission driven and the feminine also has a mission that's that she wants to be included in that. Her mission usually has kind of an inclusion of that mission, wants to have that intertwined and the best, the very best relationships that I've experienced are when the missions are kind of aligned. How great is that to have a relationship where your missions are aligned? So if you've never met me before, My name is Dr. Nima Rahmany. I'm a chiropractor and it's a weird phenomenon that a chiropractor is talking about relationships and purpose. But the fact is that I've been a chiropractor for 20 years and when patients are coming to me with stress related problems, over 20 years you get to know these patients and you realize that they are actually at the effect of
their relationships that are not aligned .
that's stressing them the [ __ ] out and meaning and purpose that they're disconnected from. If you don't get these upstream problems corrected, they start creating stress in the body. Relationship breakdowns start to feel like ruptures in connections and you start to feel it as stress. You feel abandonment. You feel betrayal and all of these emotions that come up get trapped in the body. And without a context to have our lives connected to something meaningful, these stresses start to break the body down and then they create illness, chronic pain, chronic issues. And then they end up in my office. So imagine being doing this for you know imagine doing this for 20 years and seeing this and going, "All right! 10 years ago I created the possibility that I would get out of the office because I really wanted to teach people about why they get sick in the first place, rather than deal with the downstream and being of effects of their choices and their unconsciousness and their unconscious behavior." So fast forward 10 years ago, well 10 to 11 years ago, I created a workshop called "life skills for a stressful world" to teach my patients. Fast forward 10 11 years, Here we are today. Now I lead a global community of self-healers, teaching them nervous system regulation. So that they can emotionally regulate/connect and deepen their intimacy, heal relationships, heal the mind and the body and connect to cause and purpose that's greater than them. Because I found that if we just take these people and just take them and go upstream and heal the fractures in their relationships, with themselves and others, all of a sudden like a domino effect, their health comes back.
For example, Katrina, i was just chatting with her about fibromyalgia chronic pain surgery in her hips. Constant pain jumped in and then worked with us in our intimacy upgrade program and I never touched her. She never came into my office, never did any chiropractic adjustments, but doing the things that I'm about to share with you
right now, all of a sudden her health came back, relationships transformed, she went from victim to all of these perpetrators in her life to victor. Now, she no longer had to forgive them. She actually was a healed individual connected to a purpose, became creative and her body aches and since on her last within 90 days of working
with her. Like, "Hey! So how's the fibromyalgia?".."It's gone." I'm like, "Really? No more pain? Wow!"
I was bewildered. It all had to do with the same thing. So, "purpose". When we're disconnected from this purpose, it feels like we're drifting. It feels like this numb feeling. It feels like, just kind of like on the wall, with no anchor and i know what that's like. When I experienced that, it was like a physical chronic fatigue type of sensation. It was like I didn't even want to get out of bed, you know. I was more prone. I was more easily triggered. When we're disconnected from purpose and we don't have a "why?" We don't handle stress as good. We don't handle stress as well and we don't speak as good either. We don't handle adversity. But when you're connected to a meaning and a cause and a purpose, you're able to withstand the [ __ ] sandwiches that life sometimes throws at you. In fact, life is a [ __ ] sandwich. A lot of the time, if I'm connected, the more connected I am to my "why?" the better I'm able to tolerate adversity. When we don't have connection to purpose, we don't have meaning and our bodies don't work as well. Everybody knows of stories of people who were dying but they hung on for just a certain amount longer, so that they could say their last goodbyes, so that they could meet the right person. What is that? Well there's something, there's some invisible force within you that when you are aligned with your heart, your mind and your actions towards something meaningful, magical things start to show up. Your health starts to get better. The way your love, this lost feeling that you feel, this lost at sea feeling, all of a sudden your path starts to open up. You start to receive these little synchronicities, these little blessings, these little God like angels, pixie dust whatever the [ __ ] you believe in. I'm all for it. y'know. What I'm talking about is that you actually attract this. It starts to magnetize and this is what I want for you. So this training is to that Eric and anybody else who is dealing with this exact same challenge of not really knowing who they are, feeling lost at sea and if you do this right, all of a sudden just like for example Susan, who I spoke with just three months ago, it's like, "I don't know what my purpose is." She now knows exactly what her purpose is. It's inspiring to her. She actually cries when she talks about it and now doesn't mean your work is over. You think that, "Oh! Once you know your purpose your work is done." No. I know what my purpose is. I know exactly what my purpose is. It's to heal, is to break the cycles of intergenerational trauma, that's my purpose. My purpose is to heal the individual and take them out of the matrix and help that individual get out of the blame game, get out of the victimhood, get out of the "Poor me!" story, get out of this constant experience of trauma and self-doubt and lack of self trust that's caused by trauma that causes us to get into codependent relationships, that are unhealthy, that cause us to procreate with children and then download those traumas onto them.
My purpose is to break that cycle by taking the individual who raises their hand and says "It didn't start with me, it but it ends with me." Those people who want to take responsibility, not blame. Please understand! On a weekly basis on my facebook, you know advertisements and stuff, I have people calling me out for being a victim blamer and I say this at least on a once a week, "This is not about blame. This is about taking responsibility." Please write in the comment section if you get what I'm saying, that I'm taking responsibility, I'm willing to take responsibility, not blame. Please write that down. This is all about taking responsibility, not blame. Because once you really get this work and you pull yourself out of your stories, you'll realize there's nobody to blame, not even your perpetrators, okay? Not even the people you call "my abuser". The labels.. let's just throw these [ __ ] labels away, because let's just talk about healing. That's all. All I care about is the conversation of healing, not to diminish the pain that you went through. But I'm sure you've already talked about this ad nauseam to your counselors, okay? Let's get off of that story for a minute, just a moment, because doesn't necessarily mean you're done healing it, because even if you've written "I forgive you" letter about your father and burned it and think that you're done, No! That's spiritual bypassing. In order to truly heal we got to get into the body and deal with the resentment that's there. Like one of my clients, Joel, who's been depressed for years, told me he's depressed, medicated, done all years of counseling and therapy and then but he has like a 13 year old and a 17 year old and a five-year-old in his body, still feeling unseen and unheard and betrayed and abandoned by a father who had a lot of issues with alcohol and his temper. So guess what? He's now got same thing. It's now passed down from one generation and all I did was, say "All right! This is not about blaming you for what happened with your father and all that. But it's about taking responsibility." He puts his hand up. We start the work and do some of these things I'm about to share with you right now and all of a sudden he's reconnected to his purpose. He's healed with his father. He picked up the phone just yesterday and had a conversation with his dad and they both said "I love you" and he had empathy for his father who was really brutal on him, right? And boom! He's now reconnected with his purpose and he's moving in that direction. Now I'm connected to this purpose, can you see I'm quite fired up about it? I can't fake being fired up about it but it's hard. Just because I'm connected to my purpose doesn't mean my life is [ __ ] easy. It's not. In fact, it actually gets more difficult. Let me say that again. Just because you think you have this fantasy that, "Oh! I want to connect to my purpose." What you're doing is, please understand yourself. If you really want to connect to your purpose, you're not connecting to making life easier. You're actually connecting to making life more complicated. So that's my first warning. You might want to turn this off. In fact this might not be for you. In fact there's about an 80, from my observation of human behavior, there's an 80 percent chance in all likelihood that I'm talking to you that you're going to turn this off and you're going to take no action. Why? Because it's way safer and more comfortable to be exactly where you're at, not living your purpose. I'm not saying this to be a dick. I know it sounds like I'm being a dick. I'm not. I'm actually I'm actually telling you what I've observed, because I'm living my purpose. But it's not easy. Working with people who want to stay stuck in story, it's not easy trying to convince people that they're worth investing in and face palming, going "Oh my God! You have kids! Oh my God! You've had the same pattern in relationships. You're
actually afraid of investing. Oh my God! You're saying it's because you're a single mom, your children rely on you to do this work. Imagine if your parents did it." It's really challenging at times because when you're passionate about something, passion means to suffer. It doesn't mean you're going to suffer less. Chances are when.. you know I'm just warning you before we go on and you're gonna actually do the work. I'm telling you to do before, If you're connected to purpose, it means you're signing up for maybe a little bit more suffering at first, when you don't know how to regulate yourself. Nobody who's living a very deep mission or purpose is doing so without some deep emotional labor. So if that's true for you and you're still hearing me and you still want to go further and know what your purpose is, because you know that's what I spoke to with with Eric. He said, "I want to know my purpose. I want to know my purpose. I really want to." And then what will happen is, there'll be some steps that you have to do. You have to invest in healing. You got to take the time. You have to say "no" to certain things that you're codependently used to saying "yes" to.
Here's the biggest part. You actually have to face your dragons in order to live your purpose. The pot of gold that you want on the other side, you can't do so without slaying the dragon and each one of us has a dragon of unworthiness, being not good enough and what will people think. So almost 80 percent that I'm speaking to, maybe you're the 20, I want to talk to the 20. But I can disqualify the 80 right now with this conversation. The thing is that most people just want to stay comfortable and don't want to face their fears because it in order for me to stand here and talk to you right here, I had to face a paralyzing, a crippling amount of fear. I had to stare that [ __ ] dragon in the eyes and I had to cut its throat and step through. There were times where I was so anxious that I couldn't sleep for weeks or months when I was going on this new path because the path on which you're going, you might be complaining about it but the good thing about that old path is that it's safe. It's safe. It's the devil, you know. And yes! It's misery. But we hate uncertainty and there's misery but it's a certain misery. In other words, it's the devil.
You know how shitty it is. To go on another path involves you going in and risking something you don't know. So you must change your relationship with fear if you're willing to live your purpose. So I'd like to talk about why you're not living your purpose. It's the perfect segue into it. Because it's all about fear.
The truth of the matter is, I haven't met one person that we've worked with and we've guided. Oh yeah it is certain misery for sure. It's misery, but you know it's the devil. You know it's predictable to go down another path. It is unpredictable even though it will eventually over time, if you're willing to stomach it, lead to massive victory and fulfillment. But you actually have to tolerate the unknown and that's intolerable for eighty percent of you listening. I don't mean to call you out. Maybe I'm challenging you because I want to talk to the 20 in this conversation. So there are seven fears. The truth is you know what your purpose is. Let me say that again. You ALREADY know what your purpose is. You already know what makes time stand still for you. You already know what you do that just puts you into a flow-like state. You already know what it is that lights you the [ __ ] up. The problem is that there's one reason where you're disconnected from it and it's because of trauma. You're disconnected. Your soul has left your body. You're dissociated. Here are some signs if that's true for you. You numb yourself. You're sedating or you're sedated, like.. you feel numb, like.. you can't feel your emotions. You haven't been able to emote or feel anything. So you can't feel your feelings. So you don't really know the time stance because you freaking forgot. That's what happened with Joel. I was like, "What is that for you?" and he's like, "I love horses." He was a rodeo champion, roping champion. "I work with cowboys." He's a rodeo roping champion and he's like,
"I haven't done that for like 10 years." That's what he said. I'm like, "uh-huh Okay!" I'm writing down as I'm working with them. You already know what your purpose is. The problem is that you have seven fears that are actually blocking you from connecting to it. Let me explain to you and please write them down. Fear number one! "I want to do so and so, BUT what will God think? What will the church think? It's ungodly!" In other words you want to do something but you have the fear of breaking the subordination of a spiritual authority that you've given power to. "Oh, I'd like to open up a bar" for example, "It's my dream to be this bartender BUT my religion frowns upon alcohol so
I'm not gonna do it. I'm just gonna go back to my accounting job." All right. Does that make sense? "Even though I dream of being like tom hanks in the movie cocktail, BUT because of my religion, No."
So that's one block. Fear of breaking the authority. Fear number two is the fear of not being smart enough, not being intelligent enough, educated enough, having the right credentials. I for example as a chiropractor teach people nervous system regulation for interpersonal trauma. Because of my experiences, that I've gone through the studying, that I've done the work, that I've done with people. But I don't have a psychology degree, right? So my mother, when I first told her that I wanted to leave "Why don't you just become a psychologist? You're not a psychologist. Why are you doing to be a chiropractor? You're not a psychologist." That's what you would say. So that was one of the things that got in my head. Well I really want to leave chiropractic and teach full-time but I don't have the right credentials. If you have that fear, fear of not having the right intelligence "I'm not smart enough", that's gonna block you. Number three fear is the fear of failure fear. I really really really badly want to become a golfer but what if I fail. Okay! Eliminate feelings equals eliminate the problem. That's half true, Michael! You're basically walking into people who say that. I get to know them and I spend time with them in person, I get a vibe off of them and they're very rigid. They're very very rigid and what they've done is, they've suppressed their feelings. Feelings are very important. Eliminating feelings doesn't work, because you cannot eliminate feelings. I don't know you. I've never met you before and I'm not judging you based on any experience that I've had with you. But I can read right through those words when you say "Feelings aren't important. Eliminate feelings." Those people are bypassers, suppressors and they develop health problems, okay? You can't eliminate feelings. It's something you cannot do without massive repression or suppression, which leads you to illness guaranteed. And you can't hide them, because in a moment of trigger you don't [ __ ] have control of your feelings. They control you and if you haven't learned how to dance with feelings and become trigger proof, you suppress them and you rage or you shut down, because they will take over. So Michael, I would really look closely at that. Yes Leslie, that WAS you and it creates illness, digestive problems hormonal issues. So don't be convinced. Sorry no offense. This is my community so I care for my community, Michael. Michael's comment is not true, said with love. I'm saying this because I'm trying to work on doing the best I can to teach my community. So number three is fear of failure. Fearing failure will stop you from taking action. What if I told you, let me put you at ease, because failure is guaranteed. When I left chiropractic to take the risk and do this work, which now it's been five years since I've left chiropractic, I have failed so many times. Leslie you've been hanging out. You've known me for five years. How many times have you seen me fail doing this?
I've had massive public colossal [ __ ] failures. I fail every day. I fail in connecting with a client. I fail in making a concept land on someone and having them shut down on me because of their traumas. I fail daily. But what keeps me going, if it's truly your purpose. What winston churchill said, "Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm." So let me put you at ease. If you're wanting to go a certain direction but you're afraid of failing, you're gonna fail a million times colossal scale, Yeah I'm so embarrassed about it but I'm working on my shame and I'm being truthful about it. I'm actually writing a book about it. So, that's why trigger proof was because of a failure that I did not know how to regulate my emotions in a relationship that was toxic for both of us. I mean she's got her stuff right? "And I connect to you more, now that you failed and kept going." Love you! Thank you! Fear of failure is what would stop you and actually in the moment where I paused working, doing this work and I went inside to do my own kind of healing and the stuff that I'm about to share with you, my parents were like, "Stop this dream. Stop this! Let us buy you a chiropractic clinic! Don't do the teaching anymore. Don't do the workshops. Just let us buy you a chiropractic office" and I almost did. I was like "Hell no! I'm going all in!" and thank God I did. Thank God I didn't listen to them and thank God I kept going and I got back up and I continued. So fear of failure is what's stopping you. So you do know what your purpose is. It's just that you're blocked by a fear of failure. Number four: Fear of losing money, fear of not making enough money. Well let me put you at ease. Anybody who's done anything has had to bootstrap and it's not knowing. It's like letting go of that guaranteed income. I was making 30 grand a month as a chiropractor at the age of 40 but my soul wasn't connected to it. I knew there was something deeper. My parents thought I was crazy and I sold my practice. I didn't even sell it. I basically gave it away. I let it go
All that money and I basically bootstrapped and started over and it's been a five-year climb and we did very very well in 2020, The worst year where everybody went downhill, I consistently after a little blip of failure, it was the best year that I've ever had financially, last year, alright? Sorry, my food's arrived from 'skip-the-dishes' and Lucy might have a little conniption fit when it's here. Now! Fear of losing money, that's what's going to stop you. Fear of not making it up. "Oh..I'd like to do so and so. I like to paint, but I'm not going to make enough money out of it." so that is the fear. Number six is the social, social fear of... Lucy's gonna have a little.. I might have to stop here. Um... hold on, one second. Lucy come here. Okay babe, it has arived.
Alright. Whenever the food arrives from skipthedishes or whatever, she loses her [ __ ]. But this is lucy and she's 12 years old and she's really cute and she has a little bit of a conniption fit whenever somebody comes to the door. So, number six! "Thank God you did!" Yes Toby! Yes, thank you. Thank you for participating. Toby you know what your purpose is now when you're connected, things start magically shifting when you have a conscious connection to purpose. So number five the fear of losing favor with friends. So in other words, "I want to do so and so", "I want to be a politician.." for example, "But what will my friends think? You know, I'm going to be the laughingstock. I'm going to be the laughingstock. People are going to judge me, you know." "I'm leaving my career as a lawyer and I want to be a musician, but everyone, all my friends are going to laugh at me." I have a friend of mine who's a medical doctor, who once wanted to write a book for a long time but was afraid of what his colleagues would think because their methods are a little wooy for his average type of thing for the average medical doctor. Does that make sense? So the fear of what other people are going to think is what's stopping you. Number six, Fear of losing favor with family members. "What will my dad think? What will my mom think? What will mom and dad think?" Lucy! Did you get it babe? Okay go!
"So what will my mom think? What will my dad think?" and this is very big in middle eastern cultures. I just spoke with a woman who's, I don't know, in her 20s and she's struggling. What's the pat? What's the matter? She's like, "I'm studying chemical engineering. I [ __ ] hate it." I know, if you love chemical engineering, great! Awesome! If you love it, great! If you love it, wonderful if it's coming from your, "Wow! I'm inspired." Great! But she only did it because her dad forced her to and I'm like, "what do you want?" "I'm an athlete. I want to run. I want to you know, i want to paint. I have all these ideas. I want to be a entrepreneur." "Okay, So go! Why don't you do that?" "No, my dad totally disagrees." I'm like, "Ah okay. I got it." "What's my purpose?" The next one, number seven, is fear of not being beautiful enough. Tall enough, vital enough, young enough. You know, "I want to be an NBA basketball player, but I'm only you know 5"10' 5"11'. I can't do it." "I'd love to go there but you know, I'm not pretty enough." "Oh, I'd love to be a dancer, but I'm too old and I'm too fat." You know.. these blocks. So in other words, If you have a spiritual, mental, career, financial, social, family, physical, any of the fears in these areas of life, add on one two three or four of them together and then you're gonna say, "I don't know what my purpose is." Which is [ __ ] you know exactly what your purpose is. You do know! You just have one of those fears that are stopping you and you think that those fears are real, like their death but let me remind you of something in case you are just jumping on right now, rewinding this is how many days you have left. Well this is how many days I have left if I'm going to live to be 95 roughly around 18,250
and then you're not going to be breathing anymore and you're gonna be gone.
So wouldn't it make sense to get over this fear, to find a way to lean into the fear. Can you do it while you're afraid? Here's the key you must do it while afraid. Please write this down. "In order to find my purpose, I must do it afraid." Yes! In other words, you must make peace with that fear. You must understand that if you're waiting until the fear isn't there in the form of an excuse, "I don't have the time", "I don't have the money", "My
father doesn't support me.", "What will my husband think?" These are all [ __ ] excuses to prevent you from having to face your [ __ ] fears. How do I know? It's what I talk about each and every day and if you don't face that fear and live your life, the remaining 18 000 days or however many thousand days you have left working towards slaying those dragons, unfortunately they won't go away. Unfortunately, if you don't, they won't [ __ ] go away. These dragons will not go away. They will gnaw at you. They will depress you. They will have you just be like they will completely cause you to feel so shitty about yourself because deep down inside your soul has a calling and the only way it's kind of like you've left your soul at a young age. By the way, it makes sense why you have these fears, because as a child your soul is in your body. My four-month-old son, Dominic, he's fully self-expressed. He shits when he wants to, he farts when he wants to, he cries when he wants to and he doesn't give a [ __ ] He's got no self-awareness. But it's really cute to see right but at some age usually by the time we turn 10 you've already been conditioned that this is good and this is bad and you receive love when you obey and you conform and if you don't then love is withdrawn. So what happens is, this causes our soul, here's the body, the soul to leave the body and the soul starts drifting and to the degree that you disassociate from your truth because of trauma, because of performing, to have love to the degree that you dissociate from. This is your anxiety and your depression and your health starts to fall apart and it's incredibly emotionally painful to be living contrary to your truth. It's like all of us have this internal navigation system. It's like, you're in your car. Have you ever gone turned up the navigation in the car and just started going and then missed the turn, the navigation will say, "Rerouting.. Rerouting.. Turn right on the next exit! Rerouting.." But what you do because that's the navigation system we all have it, we all have it, you have it, I have it. It's a felt sense alignment when you're aligned with your truth you're [ __ ] unstoppable. You can take off the mask. You can be yourself. You know you can get in front of a camera and tell the truth because the camera is the greatest lie detector. You can tell when someone's full of [ __ ] when you watch them, right? You totally can. You totally can and so to the degree that I dissociate from this truth to the degree that it's like my body starts to have anxiety. I start to get this state of panic. It's like my soul is saying, "Nima! Come back. Nima! Come back." And I was doing that as a chiropractor talking to people stuck in a victim stor,y wanting to tell more and this feeling inside of me I had to obey and what's my true north star teaching. So I started to set up workshops in my office. I knew I didn't want to be there full time. I just wanted to teach people rather than just dealing with just stamping beef all day long with people who didn't want to take responsibility and play victim to their, you know, old stories and disconnect from themselves. I was tired of all that and then my soul was calling me to make a decision and say and I made a declaration. I said, "I'm going to leave the office and follow and pursue my dream and teach people about how to get healthy from the inside and break cycles of intergenerational trauma and I made that declaration and I still would go to the office and my soul was crushed because I wasn't doing what I wanted. There was a gap between where I was and what I wanted to do and funnily enough, certain things started to happen. When you make a declaration and you say this is what I want to do, I have to warn you. I face my fears, "What would my parents think? They were totally against it. Uh.. I'm not qualified enough. I'm just a chiropractor. Nobody's gonna listen to me." Friends, colleagues were putting me down you know, making fun of me because chiropractors, we have this crabs in a bucket type of mentality. If somebody kind of crawls out of the bucket, we just pull each other down. It's really really charming and so I had to deal with that. So I dealt with all of those. I made the declaration and then I got and then here's what happens. Here's what happens when you take that step and make that leap towards living your purpose, because it's terrifying. I'm warning you. Here's what happened to me. So I make that step and I say, this is what I want to do, Six months later, I go to renew my driver's license and they say, "Oh! Nima! We have to take your license. You're suspended for five months. Your driver's license is suspended for five months." and I'm like what the [ __ ]? What? No warning. No nothing." I was like, "Yeah! I got quite a few speeding tickets dry. Why? Because I'm downtown. I live in downtown vancouver. My office is all the way in maple ridge, which is a 45 minute drive. I was late all the time because I didn't really want to be there. That's a telltale sign. If you find yourself going late for something, it's not a high enough value. I was late all the time. I could didn't even give a shit. I stopped caring. because I just wanted to be doing this and the universe said, "Alright. Here's your opportunity." After I ignored it, I was too afraid to take action. So the universe took action for me and pulled my driver's license. My general manager at the office, She was like "You know what this means? The universe is telling you. It's like you have to." She's been telling me for years but I'd been too afraid to take action. I was too afraid. All of those fears, when you make the declaration, pushes you in. I made that call and lo and behold, I can't drive for five months. So what do I do? I go back to my north star teaching. So that's when I started. I stopped going to the office and I took a chance and I created workshops all over the world. jJst me in a briefcase. I taught people the overview method with my chiropractic colleagues, who set help set me up in Australia, UK, Detroit, Atlanta. Clients of mine that I was helping, they were like, "This thing is the bomb. Why don't you come and help my community here?" So I would go to different places and everywhere I went, more and more people would start following me and start going, "I want to learn more. I want to learn more." I'm like, "Holy [ __ ]". Then be careful what you wish for because it happens and I'm like, "Oh my God! I'm actually doing it." Now I have to juggle a chiropractic practice and I got sick and one thing after another. I met my ex. She helped build it. We have a completely tumultuous relationship, making it super duper successful. The relationship blew up, boom! Failure, crash, misery. I went inside. I stopped trying to fix other people and healed the attachment wounds within me. Built myself back up. Tried it all over again and here I am and 2020 was the best year of my life, of my career. When the whole world was crumbling because of everything, I learned and how I was tethered to purpose. I was able to take a worldwide catastrophic pandemic, adapt myself so that I had the connection to purpose, took all of my live events. I had six live events planned, I had to cancel them all and we went online. This group was created, the trigger-proof facebook group was created. I'm now starting to write a book. I got married and I had a kid all last year. All why? Because I was certain and steadied and anchored by my purpose. Because I took all of those fears and I was aware and I wasn't acting. But I made a declaration and the universe assisted me with the amazing benefit of a five-month driver suspension. Well I can't drive to work. Well I can. Like a cab would cost me 200 bucks a day in cab fare and I was like, "I can't drive but I can fly around the world and do what I was meant to do and give my gift." And here's what happened: When I just surrendered and I stepped in and I got a mentor and a guide, several coaches, I had to learn how to communicate, I had to learn how to speak better, talk better, I had to up level my writing, my speaking, my self-worth. I just said, "Who do I have to become?" I now have this vision. This is where I am. I'm not there yet. But I have a growth mindset. I'm willing to get trained in becoming that. Why? Because that's who I want to be. This is my north star. That's my purpose. I want to become the best teacher. Most inspiring teacher, to help inspire people into action, to heal their wounds, to take responsibility, to stop playing the victim and start using their gifts, distributing their gifts and now I created this facebook group and I would just come on and just share my gifts as I'm sharing with you right now. This is my gift. I'm sharing with you the exact obstacles of you that's stopping you from sharing your gift, which is all excuses based on fears. "Oh my husband doesn't support!", "You know the church doesn't allow it.", "I don't have enough money." or whatever. When you have a 'why', that's big enough, the house will take care of themselves and here I'm a living proof. I've actually lived through massive colossal catastrophic public humiliation that I thought I could not recover from. I have healed a past relationship and have the most secure loving relationship that I've ever thought possible. We still argue, We still have conflict, but we just were able to breeze through and repair and re-attune with ease, because of all of this and so when you really make stepping into those fears a priority, everything will shift. So now you know what's stopping you. The last part that I want to give you, the third part is, "What can I do today that's going to help me, help me to connect to my purpose?" Well the first thing it to understand is, back in the conversation when I said that as a child our soul leaves our body because it doesn't feel safe to be in your body, an endless amount of talk therapy and books and podcasts aren't going to solve it for you. You must learn how to attune into your body again. You must take-- Michael! You must take all of these feelings that you've been stuffing and learn how to feel them. How to properly face them. Feel them and heal them. If you stuff them and repress them and deny them, that's part of your soul leaving your body. That's gaslighting yourself. That is self-abandonment at its best. Stuffing my feelings down, kind of like your child your parents did when they saw you having feelings, they don't feel that. That's a self-abandonment, self-betrayal. You really have to approach this from the understanding that you've been conditioned to abandon and betray yourself. Our souls leave our body every time we get triggered and we don't feel safe within our body because the feelings those old early attachment wounds and those traumas, they hurt if there's a great deal of emotional pain and anxiety. So it feels safer to be in our heads, in our thoughts, in our minds, trying to talk our way, going to talk therapy week after week to avoid feeling, doing seminars to avoid actually feeling and learning tools to avoid feeling, which is what I was doing. I was guilty. You must learn how to re-attune back into the body and regulate your nervous system. You must learn how to become trigger proof. You must learn how to
dance with with feelings that come up. Yeah! It's practice and it gets easier with time. I wouldn't suggest you do it alone. Doing it alone, you'll check out you will cut, you will rage you won't know what to do with it. Because you haven't been taught emotional regulation. So the child mind, which is reactive, it hurts too much, too much rejection and abandonment. Exactly, to do it yourself. Absolutely. But here's the thing: The pot of gold is on the other side of learning. How to feel and move through all of that because Michael if you have rejection and abandonment, it's not here. It's in your body and if you don't actually face it and feel it, it's going to come up somehow these unresolved wounds. You must learn how to regulate your nervous system, number one. That's the first step. You must master this. Why? Well because you're here to learn.Wwhat's the purpose? It is all about attuning to that inner voice, that internal navigation system that you've been dissociated from, because rejection and abandonment hurts too much. First step is to heal the abandonment wounds, heal the attachment wounds that have caused you to feel rejection and abandonment in the first place so that you can then return back into your body and learn how to feel it. That's the first thing, first step to heal your attachment wounds. Can't do it without it. Why? Those wounds those early traumas have caused you to leave your body. So you don't have access to your inner guidance, which is all feeling based. There's the conundrum. The only way to connect to your purpose is to learn how to connect to the feelings, the big obstacle is, it hurts too much. Grown ass [ __ ] men who are firefighters and who will run into a burning buildings will not be able to sit with the feeling of rejection and abandonment that they felt as a child. Their inner child feels abandoned from them. That's the secret: Healing with those younger parts of us. You must! Because that's where your purpose is. Your purpose is on the other side of integrating that pain. You will not be able to do it and this is why I said this to the twenty percent. Because eighty percent of you, statistically from what I've observed, will be too afraid to take action. You'll say, "Ah [ __ ]! I thought it was an easy three-step process that I can get off the [ __ ] youtube video." No! You can't. This is not available on youtube. Podcasts won't help. You can't even read books to get it because it must be a process. You must be walked through. It's like uh trial by fire. It's like purification by fire. You must be purified. That's the price of admission. I haven't met anybody who is certain about their purpose, who hasn't first integrated much of their pain and really faced it and by integrated. I mean heal it. Bring it back into center. Bring it in because you still have rejection and Michael has a little five or eight year old abandoned self that's floating around behind him and and shows up when somebody says 'No' to him. He definitely shows up. You think that he's gone, but no. That little eight-year-old is still with you. Shows up every time somebody says 'no' to you. Guess what? If you don't bring that in and reintegrate, that shadow part of yourself it's going to run the show and you're going to say, "I don't know what my purpose is." Yeah you do. It's on the other side of integrating that pain. Yet it's the one thing you'll resist the most and you'll come up with all these excuses not to do it. "I've seen a therapist.", "I've talked about it to a counselor.", "I've done the work there." No. You haven't. It takes a deep commitment to facing and healing those younger parts. You can actually feel when someone's done. When someone has done it, there's a sense of presence and understanding. There's a third dimension. There's a palpability in their way of being that you can feel and sense and I can feel and sense when someone's dissociated and disconnected. I can't turn it off. It's just a sense. You can feel it. Three easy steps! If it's easy, it's not worth it. This work is worth it, Absolutely. Toby, you've been doing it for the last three four weeks and man it was not easy, was it? "Facing those younger parts on our first call, wow! That little little girl, but now when you integrate it.." Great example! Toby was a little girl, eight years old and her mother to become to help, Do you mind if I share this story? By the way it's a beautiful story. I'm gonna get into my head. Yeah! It's true Michael! I don't want to get into your head. I want this to land in your body. But first, I want to get Toby's permission to share her story. Is it cool? Because it's a beautiful one about your mother and how you found your purpose. This is the exact path, because now I can use Toby as an example. I'm just waiting for Toby to give me the thumbs up that I can share because it's actually a beautiful story but I'm not going to share it unless I have your permission first. Sometimes I forget, those are by the way some of my failures too. Those are some of my failed minors. "Go ahead!" Okay. I just got to go ahead. You just saw it.So, Toby's a eight-year-old girl
and her mother, because of financial challenges in the family dad lost a job, had to take on be having a daycare in her home and all of a sudden, doesn't have time for Toby and Toby ends up feeling depressed, not seen abandoned but unbeknownst to Toby. Toby was learning some skills and the abandonment and not seen and not validated that she felt them. Mom was compensated by this incredible sense of connection that she felt with the children, these beautiful children that she didn't expect that mom took in. "You don't want to be in my head.. scary place." Yeah well Michael, I have something for you. Stay with it. Stay with this. She all of a sudden becomes this incredible intuitive connector with children and knows how to make them happy because a lot of them were not in a great place. So she was there. She has this ability to tune into children, to see them, to support them, to be like the child whisperer. Right toby? And all of a sudden these amazing superpowers that she has, which is empathy and caring and helping she got from the pain of that and she was what we did was we took that little eight-year-old and we integrated that pain of that childhood, the sense of abandonment from mom and she now sees it as her superpower and guess what?
She works with children. She's a social worker. So now can you notice what's changed for you Toby when you've integrated that younger part and now connected with what your purpose is. Consciously can you see all of the work that you're doing. The felt sense, because you're now doing it from a place of power. Can you see how much different it feels when you're at work now? When you're connected consciously to the pain of that eight-year-old self which is where your superpower was? That's a little hint for you. The pain that you're running away from. If you just had somebody to walk you through healing, that is actually the root. It is the foundation of your purpose. Another client of mine is like, "I don't know what my purpose is. My business is stuck." His name is larry and he's like, "I'm just depressed. I'm stuck." His chiropractic practice failed and he was just done and he just really wanted to help and coach people and guess what? On our first call, his younger self remembered. We went back and regressed him to this younger self, where he is his eight-year-old boy. Usually it's the first 10 years of life where your purpose is kind of sparked, if you really do the work properly and he saw this depressed father, who was constantly depressed. "I feel stressed, this means something to me.. my purpose!" Exactly Toby! Big love to you. So he turns he turns to this little child inside of him and realizes that that pain of seeing his father depressed all the time was what drove him to be a healer and now because he integrated that pain that he was trying to avoid by doing personal development. When he integrated that, he was able to have empathy for the part of himself that was suicidal. And the whole time he's been judging himself because he tried to commit suicide three times. He's like, "Nobody's gonna hire me if they found out I commit suicide, I tried to commit suicide." So he suppressed that he didn't tell anybody and that shame he was locked up with along with the pain of that little eight-year-old inside of him had him going, "I've lost my purpose." Once we integrated that, within a few months of us doing the work he sends me a photograph of himself on stage, speaking to a group of chiropractors and he basically said, "Hey Nima! I did something I never thought I would do. I led the entire talk with the story of me taking pills and trying to kill myself and when I was done, eight people came and hugged me and said thank you." He said, Nima! tTank you for connecting me to my purpose. I was too ashamed to admit it. I wasn't willing to face the pain of that younger part of me and now I feel that purpose again. Thank you." And this is reproducible. So number one, you must heal those those attachment wounds. You can't do it, can't connect to purpose unless you heal those. Your purpose is on the other side of integrating that pain. I promise you it will show up. Reminds me of Dee, who was like in her relationship limbo, not knowing she's getting separated, divorced, traumatized as [ __ ], because he betrayed. He was going through all that and she also said, "Of course, I don't know my purpose. Could you help with that?" I'm like, "No! But YOU can help with that." We integrated and healed those attachment wounds. She got complete with her ex who was betraying her and after we finish work, she goes, "Oh my God! I've enrolled and got accepted into nursing school." That was three years ago. She just had her graduation last year and now I see her full-time working as a nurse, living her purpose. Great! I didn't tell her what her purpose was. Her inner guidance did. When we dissolve, when she walked with her fear, got help and assistance to walk her through those dark parts and integrated what she was trying to avoid and not get into, and boom! There it is! So that's number one! Heal those attachment wounds. Number two, learn how to regulate your nervous system, so that you can consistently get returned back into the body and learn how to become trigger proof, so that you can get into your feelings and when you do get into your feelings, you don't have to eliminate feelings or hide from them. No, I talk about them now. My talks have become a lot more interesting when I talk about what I'm ashamed of, what I'm embarrassed about what I'm elated about, what I'm really [ __ ] pissed and depressed about. I've learned that my feelings are not to be suppressed. They are to be experienced. They are information for me to unpack. It's just, you've never been taught. This isn't your fault. You've never been taught by your family by your parents how to manage those. You've actually been discouraged from expressing them. You've been told, "Shut the [ __ ] up.", "Suck it up.", "Don't cry." It's in the songs. "You better not pout. You better not shout. You better not cry. I'm telling you why!" Like as a child you've been conditioned. Your nervous system has been conditioned to abandon yourself when you have emotions and feelings. So becoming trigger proof, healing those attachment wounds and number three: start putting into your schedule that which makes you come alive. My coaching for Joel was: "Alright! You love rodeo and roping. Can you start doing that?" He's like, "Yeah! But I've been busy and...", "No! No! Can you put that in because..." "Yeah but that's not going to make me money. My business has to go up. My business is not doing well.", "No that's not what I'm saying." Abundance is attracted to inspiration. Let me say that again. Abundance is attracted to inspiration. When you put things into your schedule that are inspiring to you, you attract abundance. Why do you think I do these facebook lives? You think I just do these facebook lives for you? No? I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for me, because teaching is my north star. It helps me access those parts of me that I had abandoned a long time ago. The younger parts of me that really like the attention and the kind of higher self that really wants to open his heart and teach people the magic of stepping into your fear and healing your attachment traumas, not just from childhood but if you've lost a child that's traumatic. We have that our clients lose children, our clients go through divorce, our clients are betrayed, become betrayed, have been betrayed. Our clients have betrayed their partners, have cheated on their partners and all sorts of [ __ ] up [ __ ] happens, to help us, wake us up, to then go back and heal those attachment wounds, get reconnected to our bodies. Learn how to become trigger proof or emotionally bulletproof, whatever you want to say and then put inspiration into our schedule. Why is that important? Well how many days do you have left? If you're 95, you're just jumping on. Now we did a little exercise. Go back and rewind, take 95 minus your current age and times that by 365 and this is how many days you have left. Here's the ideal scenario. Here's how you win at this life, at this game of life. You can answer this question, "Am I doing what I love, Where I love, with whom I love?" Let me say that again. "Am I doing what I love, where I love, with whom I love?" How old are you now? How many days do you have left? Do you want to spend the rest of your life feeling lost and drifting, looking around, seeing other people with fire in their lives and you just kind of like being a bystander, watching it all go by, consistently being dissociated from yourself because of feelings that you haven't yet learned how to integrate it, for good reason. For good reason because your parents never taught you how to emotionally regulate. They never learned themselves. They were at the effect of their traumas and their wounds and here we are now. It wasn't fair but here we are now. You're here to take the red pill and understand that you can't go back. You are the cycle breaker. You're the one to break the cycle. Why? If not you then who? Who else in your family should do it? If you're in this conversation, there's a reason. It's because you've been called to be that cycle breaker. Those are the clients that I'm interested in working with, not the ones that want to blame their fathers or other people and all that. There's plenty of coaches and therapists that will validate your story but not result in any forward movement. Where do you want to be in three to six months? What fears are stopping you? Out of all of those, go ahead and write it out. Three questions after you watch this,(1) Where do you want to be in three to six months or a year five years? (2)What fears, that I mentioned, are stopping you? And (3)How many days do you have left and is it worth it? Is it worth walking with your fears and actually doing the necessary work it takes to return back into your body, to heal those attachment wounds, to connect to the younger parts of you where your infinite internal navigation system and inner voice and inner guidance and inner wisdom will help you lead the way. Otherwise you're being led by somebody else's vision.
That's how many days I have left. I want to be the one to choose. I have choice and so do you. You just gotta unplug from the matrix that told you that you can't, that you're not supposed to, that this is not what we do. We don't do this. We do that. We stay. Our family does this. That's what intergenerational trauma is. That's this self-imposed kind of ceiling of what you should be, what the religion says you should be and none of it is going to allow you to have agency and freedom in your life and that's all I want. That's where health comes from. It comes by you taking that on. So if you resonated with what I said and you're actually ready to take action on it, I have something for you and it's coming up on saturday or if you click on that link you'll see the date. It's this weekend saturday afternoon or evening from 3 p.m pacific to 8 p.m, which is sunday morning in Australia, New Zealand and Singapore. It is our deep dive into the overview experience, which has been depicted as ten years of therapy in a matter of five hours. You have no excuse, well except for the fears that you just talked about of not going inside and actually uncovering and integrating the pain that's stopping you from knowing exactly what your next move is going to be, what your purpose would be, why it has to be and a deeper sense of connection to self. This is what I want to teach and there's several of you who've already signed up and I can't wait. If you sign up now and you send me a quick email on the reply and tell me what your story is, I'm going to specifically work on moving and weaving my conversation into that. I promise and I love doing this. I do this every month with my clients but what we do is, I open this up for the public. You can sign up there and learn the methodology to actually get back into your body to keep connecting with those younger parts and learn what the steps are in order to do it. What's your excuse? Listen to the excuses that you have and realize that those are just obstacles that anybody who's lived their purpose has to actually overcome. "What will my husband think?", "Do I have his approval?" Let's assume you have nobody's approval. Your husband doesn't want you to do it. Your wife doesn't want you to do it. Your parents think you're stupid for doing it. Is it dependent on their support of you? Because people who are living their purpose, that's not where they look. They look inside first and I understand if you don't know what that is. It's not your fault, but when is a good time? When would be a good time for you to learn how to connect with that inner voice? How many days do you have left and when would be a good time for you to act in such a way, where you can look back on your life on the day that you're taking your very last breath and you said "I did what I loved, where I loved and I did it with who I love, surrounded by the people that I loved." That's my hope for you. Let me know what came up for you and I'll see you at the next perfect time.