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Small group leaders, pastors, and more discussing strategies for growth and community in church groups. The Small Group Network is an international ministry that equips churches to engage in deeper discipleship and community.
Louisa: Hello!
And welcome to S G Squared.
Pastor Steve Gladen pulls from over 25
years of small group ministry experience
to encourage and equip listeners like
you to lead small group ministry.
So let's listen, and learn, together.
Derek Olson: Welcome to SG squared.
Steve Gladden on small groups.
Derek here with the man,
Steve Gladden and Steve.
It is game week, baby.
Are you ready?
Steve Gladen: It is game week and uh, you
know, a little pre-show banter a ahead.
So you guys may be going, you know,
Steve, you're rarely scarlet it out.
Derek, you're rarely purple out.
And so it is something I know if
anything you guys have wrote in on
the show, it's um, whenever we talk
about college football, you hate it.
But trust me, is gonna pertain, this
show is gonna pertain to, this is
a microcosm of what our nation is
feeling and what we gotta do because,
you know, when teams lose Derek.
When teams lose, people can be
really upset and very be very
angry and stuff like that.
And if you don't know how
to handle it, a tough thing.
Now you, you, you blow that out,
you know, Derek and I will still
be friends no matter who wins.
One of us is gonna be super sad.
Matter of fact.
We are filming this show ahead of the
game on Saturday because the show's
gonna air October 1st and our game
will just happen the Saturday before.
And if we did it after we did it
on October 1st, a strong chance
we'd be giving you a real life
case study of what's going on.
So we, we,
Derek Olson: Or, or a strong chance
that we wouldn't even have a show
because, uh, I don't think one of
us would want to see the other.
Steve Gladen: Yes, it would be a,
it would be, it would be special,
should we say, and all that.
So it's, uh, it, it's,
it's, it's a crazy thing.
But, uh, Derek, you,
you, how are you feeling?
You had to make a prediction.
Who's winning
Derek Olson: You know what,
Steve Gladen: the Ohio State
Buckeye the Washington Huskies Wolf
Derek Olson: it's hard to go against
the number one team, which is you guys
coming into, uh, play an unranked team
like us, the Mighty Washington Huskies.
But we're at home and
it's one of the loudest.
Hardest places to play, and so I'm all in.
I'm saying go Dogs.
I think we're gonna win by one point
in upstate the Ohio State Buckeyes,
and send you back to Columbus crying.
Steve Gladen: Well, I, I was
gonna say, I hope you don't crack
our Buckeye nut, but then, uh,
yeah, I think I, I think I
would go, uh, I'm, it's gonna
be a close game no matter what.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna take us by three.
Uh, I, it's just gonna really depend.
First year quarterback, way,
new way young, playing in your
stadium, which I know is crazy.
haven't been up to Washington.
It's a beautiful stadium,
beautiful landscape.
But I said, show is going to pertain to.
This is a microcosm when you
talk about college football,
pro football, sports in general.
But if you've watched anything, if
you haven't been under a rock the
last month, you know, our nation
is very, uh, uh, on edge and, and
it's just not in the United States.
It's in other countries too.
But the point is, is that unless you know
how to deal with people in the right way.
And the larger your platform,
the bigger the megaphone and the
bigger you're gonna get barbs at.
And so what I wanna do is I wanna
set this up in the church world
now, this is predominantly a show
based to small group point people.
But this is gonna pertain because what's
gonna happen, and I, I, even as an
elder, I've had to handle with this,
with small groups being fractionalized,
saw it through COVID, saw it through
these latest events in the United States.
And so what I wanna do is I wanna set
this up and then Derek and I are gonna
walk through 10 practical things.
But before we start this, what
I wanna do is I want to get
it so that you can understand.
your heart needs to come from.
So, uh, both of these setups what I'm
gonna talk about and then the 10 things
we're gonna go through, both will be in
the show notes, so we'll have 'em for you.
Uh, just wanna make sure that, you
know, you guys have practical tips
on how to deal with upset people and,
uh, you're always gonna have 'em.
It is humanity, it's
the way it's gonna go.
Derek, anything else you wanna say
before I just jump into setting the
groundwork and then we'll get into the 10
Derek Olson: No, I think this is, uh,
just an incredible topic to cover.
Like you said, one, because of just
what we're going through in our nation.
Um, you know, with the passing of
Charlie Kirk and so much other, uh.
Violence and people are talking about
rhetoric, but the key is having peaceful
debate and having peaceful conversations,
right, and talking out our differences.
But then when you go to the ministry
set of things, whether it's small
group ministry or really any ministry.
If you're in full-time ministry as a
small group point person or a pastor,
you are going to have upset people.
You are going to have to know how
to deal with conflict because you're
in the people business, right?
So I think this is critical
timing and I think these 10
ways to engage upset people.
Are crucial for everybody to know.
So I would encourage everybody to
take out, uh, your, uh, notepad
on your phone or notepad and
a pen and, uh, jot these down.
Steve Gladen: Yeah, and if you're
listening on podcasts, like I said,
we'll have 'em in the show notes.
But let me just get off with a.
start off with a few scriptures right now.
James one 19 says, everyone
should be quick to listen, slow
to speak, slow to become angry.
That's James one nine.
Proverbs 15, one says, A gentle
answer turns away wrath, a
harsh word stirs up anger.
15, one.
Another one right here
is one Peter four, eight.
Most important of all, continue
to show deep love for each other.
Love for love covers a multitude of
sins and probably one of the biggest
things, uh, that I've always known
is that proximity breeds empathy.
And so the closer you can be to
people, the more empathy that you
can feel and they can feel too
as you're dealing with issues.
So really quick, lemme set this up.
Uh, Kurt Johnston, our regional
pastor, gets credit for all this
because, uh, he sent this to,
uh, our, all of our campuses.
Um, and, uh, he's just a
whiz with condensing things.
Uh, and then I'm gonna go into 10, 10
ideas that Derek and I have thought
through that are practical things.
So this is gonna set up before you even
en engage the people, some thoughts
you need to understand, engage quickly.
Time creates frustration.
One of the things that you have to
understand is that the longer you
wait, when people are frustrated,
it gives them when there's a void.
In, in reacting to an issue.
What happens is, is people fill it with
the thoughts that they're thinking,
which tend to be from the enemy.
The enemy is always gonna take you
to the worst possible scenario,
the worst possible thing.
I don't know if you've ever not heard
from somebody and you know all, you're
always thinking, oh, they hate me,
or I did something wrong, or I should
have wished them a happy birthday, you
know, last year or something like that.
But engage quickly.
Time creates frustration.
Next point.
this is all, before you're
talking to the person.
Check your heart, your motives, your
assumptions, your biases all beforehand.
That makes pretty much sense.
You gotta come into this very neutral,
stay hard on the gospel, light on
politics, light on everything else.
You wanna make sure you
centered everything there and
curb your bias biases, because
we're all gonna have opinions.
I know it's crazy to think through
this, but there are Christians
on all sides of the aisle.
We're gonna be surprised
when we get to heaven.
But the point is, is that a lot of times
people are bringing their biases, not
the Bible them in the conversation.
Third thing is listen, learn
and lead with humility.
Be humble about everything.
You know what?
Your first conversation doesn't
have to be your last conversation,
so know that you can always, uh,
interplay with multiple conversations.
There have been many times, and I'm
going, a lot of my data points are
coming back from COVID, but many times
I've had to have multiple conversations
with people because they were so upset.
They just couldn't process
everything in the moment to,
uh, to make a rational decision.
I love this piece that Kurt came up with.
He says, use, feel, felt and found.
that is thanks for how you feel,
which is great to understand.
People are always wanting to
be, uh, understood or at least
known that they're heard.
Uh, others, uh, have felt the same way.
And so, you know, there's other people
that are feeling the same way you are.
And then here's what we found, and this
is your opportunity to be a pastor.
some of those nuggets that we're gonna
talk about in this next section of the
show of, you know, how you can show
things that you've found that have
helped people process and learn stuff.
And then a key point is, and I've
known this in church ministry that I've
done for almost 40 years, the higher
their investment in the church, the
higher priority you should give them.
is super, super important that
you understand that people.
Um, sometimes they are very, very French.
It doesn't diminish how they feel,
but the problem is, is that we hold
so much stock in the silent majority
verse, uh, I mean in the vocal
minority than the silent majority.
And look at how your people who have been
invested in your church, who know you.
So often, especially we're in a
church transition, people just
don't know Andy well enough.
If you know his heart, you would
understand where he is coming from.
And all of us have a background.
Derek, I don't know if you have
anything on those before we jump
into the, uh, 10 ideas we wanna give
on dealing with, uh, upset peeps.
But,
Derek Olson: No, that was,
Steve Gladen: go
Derek Olson: that was
a great list in itself.
I mean, man, if you can just get
those down before the actual meeting,
uh, the meeting is gonna go 10 times
better than if you didn't have those.
So those were key.
So yeah.
Now let's jump into these
10 ideas for engaging.
Upset person.
So you've heard that list.
That was key.
And now it's the day of the meeting.
And, uh, we're gonna start
with number one here.
Start the time in prayer.
Break that down for us, Steve.
Steve Gladen: Yeah.
So, yeah,
Derek Olson: I.
Steve Gladen: up two things
to start us off and then
we'll jump into the 10 topics.
So, Derek, I messed you up on the show
notes right there, so that, that's my bad.
But, uh, as you're coming to the
meeting, the, there's two things
you wanna make sure you do.
One of 'em is you wanna, you wanna
start, start the time in prayer.
sure that you are, uh, bathing
everything in, in the Holy Spirit,
because when you're gonna engage in
these 10 things, it's gonna be important
that you can, uh, start with prayer.
Pray for calm, pray for
unity, uh, not uniformity.
But pray for unity and pray
for harmony in the body.
You wanna pray against
divisiveness that that's out there.
The second thing is, is you wanna make
sure you're in a, in a place that's quiet.
And if it can be public,
that's even better.
But sometimes you, it's hard to get
both those things, but if you be in
a semi public place, but you can have
a private little corner that you can
deal with, uh, so that you can just
be able to have a good conversation.
So that's a little bit of the setup.
So now on, the first thing right
now is listen, actively and
empathetically, you wanna allow
them to express their feelings.
Feelings aren't facts.
And you have to know that, you
know, when you're engaging with
people, make sure your phone is off.
You wanna, you wanna be looking at them.
You cannot drift.
Uh, one of the things through
COVID that I caught myself doing.
Was, you know, 'cause I'd had hundreds.
I know you're, you're thinking,
oh no, not through COVID.
Remember COVID was about three
years, but hundreds of conversations
with people at coffee shops.
the problem is, uh, you've heard
the, the song and dance before
of what they're upset about.
what can happen sometimes
is you can drift.
So you gotta listen actively.
That means your eyes are on them.
And then you wanna be empathetic, and
that means you, you gotta be caring.
You wanna acknowledge what they
heard saying, this is what I
thought you said, and you wanna
be able to get through with that.
Derek Olson: Yeah, a hundred percent.
If you don't start with this, the
meeting's gonna go pretty bad.
I would say if you're just gonna
come out firing with, you know.
What you think the person did wrong?
No, you wanna listen actively, like
you said, eye contact, nodding your
head, um, affirming them and, and
then speaking those little clues.
Cues, like, I understand,
uh, that sounds tough.
You're, you're bringing
the wall down, right?
You're, you're getting in their shoes.
So, great stuff.
Okay.
That, so that was number one.
Number two, uh, validate their feelings.
Steve Gladen: Yeah.
And just a reminder too that in the
show notes, these are expanded on
a little bit more, but I just wanna
give you the highlights with them.
But, uh, in validating their feelings,
you're basically, you can, you just
wanna understand, help them understand
you, understand why they're frustrated.
You can see why this would bring this.
You can see why.
they, they may be coming from this angle.
Um, I mean, one of the constant things
that you can sometimes hear people
saying is when they're upset about
something is you just want to be able
to say, uh, I, I can see where that
you're coming from with that, because
when you, and again, the better you
can know them, and I, and I should have
said this at the top of the show, is
gotta know as much information about the
people you're talking to as possible.
If you don't know the
information, make sure you can
get to understand their story.
For me, it's like, how did
you come to Saddleback?
Why did you come to Saddleback?
Why has this been so important to you?
Because that will help me understand
where their feelings are coming from.
And you're, you're trying to
listen for clues of why they're
reacting the way they are reacting.
was dis in a situation with someone who.
Was very upset about
something Andy had said.
And when you understood her background,
you understood why she was so agitated.
again, when it, but it's, we're
getting to it before in this part
of the conversation, you just wanna
acknowledge, I can understand why
you're feeling that way, because of,
you know, some of the stories you told
me about your background or some of the
things that you've known about them.
So you wanna validate their
feelings that they're having.
Derek Olson: I like that.
I like how you said listen for clues.
And I'm also thinking, Steve, about
what you said about during COID, you
had hundreds of these meetings, I mean.
I don't even know how you
survive that, but that's crazy.
Hundreds of meetings like
this with upset, angry people.
I guess the point is you've,
you've lived this out, right?
Steve Gladen: Yeah, it's uh, Yeah, people
are predictable, let's put it that way.
You know, it's, it's funny how you can,
you can wonder about that, but, uh, people
are super predictable in who they are.
And, uh, and I'm the same way.
I am the same way.
And this, this, this is the
thing you gotta understand.
You, you, you start to understand
if Ohio State loses, if you knew my
story, how my dad and I from when I
was a little guy all the way through.
We attended games together.
It was a bonding peak part
for us is very special to me.
So if we do lose, you know, I, I will
hate Eric, but just for a little bit.
Just for a little bit.
Actually, I won't hate Eric, but he'll
understand my feelings because he knows my
Derek Olson: That's right.
And I know that, uh, if we win
not to even text, you don't
even, don't even communicate.
Steve Gladen: It, it is amazing how
many of you and you know, who you are.
Uh, you take great pride in sending
me a text or two or a meme or two
that is not godly, you know that.
So just,
Derek Olson: All right.
Our next one is, uh, offer
practical support if appropriate.
What's that mean?
Steve Gladen: yeah.
And basically this is trying to
find out what are they looking for?
Anything to be done.
Uh, I, I've had people that have barked
at us because they, they say we're gospel
light or we don't have enough scripture.
But I've been just letting 'em know,
what is it that you want, want done?
Try to try to build, uh, finding
out, you know, what is it that
could, could help them out.
Now if they're coming from a
very extreme thing, there's part
of the reality this guy say.
Well, this is where our church is at.
This is what we're doing.
There's some people that don't like
that we don't go verse by verse or
sometimes when we're going verse
by verse, this is the crack up.
Sometimes when we're going verse
by verse, some people are saying,
well, it wasn't relevant to me.
And so part of it you just gotta
help 'em see that, the general piece.
But, but it starts by saying,
is there anything you want done?
'cause sometimes they will say, I
just wanted someone to hear me out.
And that's great.
Sometimes you're trying to solve a
problem that they don't want solved,
so just make sure you, uh, you find
out, you know, is there anything that
they're looking for, for you to do or
for you, the church to, to make happen?
Derek Olson: That's great.
Offer practical support if appropriate.
If they're asking for the pastor
to be fired, you probably can't
do a whole lot about that.
Steve Gladen: Yeah.
That fo foho
Derek Olson: All right.
Next one is we got suggest
a distraction or activity.
Break that down.
Steve Gladen: Yeah, sometimes and, and I,
again, I know this is true in my own life,
but sometimes we get in such a bubble
that Jesus isn't a part of our bubble.
And I'll say in the situations right now,
uh, like when you're talking earlier,
uh, about Charlie, Kurt or from the
Ukrainian lady that was stabbed or some,
there are times that people get locked
so much in soundbites that you've gotta
suggest an activity for them to do.
And one of the things I, I'd love
to suggest for people to do is
to take a fast from TV and see
if that, see if that deescalates.
Some of the feelings you have,
uh, but not only just take a fast
from TV or social media, but be
able to engage in a Bible study.
Uh, there's, uh, lots of ones in
the Psalms, uh, that are relaxing to
people that that can help them out.
But part of what you wanna do
is to say, Hey, could you go
on a, go on a journey with me?
for a week, and I'm happy to meet
with you seven days from now, but
could you do activity X, Y, or Z?
And in the show notes you'll see a
couple things that I, that I listed out.
But the point is there is that
you've got to disengage from.
People who are, who are getting
wrapped into soundbites and locked
in, they're, they're spending more
time in Facebook than the Good book.
And so you wanna make sure that they are,
uh, getting tied into this disengaging.
Because again, in today's world that
we're living in with AI algorithms, see?
What you look at, and they
will keep feeding that to you.
So you gotta understand you have a
culture that is working against you.
So just keep that in mind.
Derek Olson: Great point about the
algorithms, which is why I often
refer to Facebook as fake book.
Steve Gladen: I like that.
Derek Olson: All right, so that was offer
practical support, um, or that was, I'm
sorry, suggested distraction activity.
Um, which moves us to
the next one on the list.
Uh, remind them of your support.
Steve Gladen: And again,
this is just really simple.
Just say, you know, I'm here for you.
your pastor.
I care about you.
We care about you, we love you, we
wanna help you, and stuff like that.
Using things like, I'm
just, I'm here for you.
You're not alone in this.
We'll be by, I can meet with
you tomorrow if you need it.
Again, depending on the previous points
and the setups and the, and the clues
that you're learning about them, uh,
will, you'll be able to just offer the
support will be a big piece of them,
knowing that you are there for them.
And I always tell people,
I'm not the enemy.
not the enemy.
I am your friend.
I am your pastor.
I'm here for you.
We will get through this if
you'll just hang with me.
Derek Olson: And this point is so
key because in the life of a church,
you know, everybody wants to be
connected to the lead pastor, but.
He's so busy, he can only do so much.
Right.
So without the under shepherds doing
this, what you're describing in
this list, but especially this one
of, I'm here for you, we're getting
together over coffee, we're talking
that is like the glue in so many ways.
It's holding everything together,
holding the church together, you
know, being, um, the arm of the
pastor and doing what you can.
It's just so key.
I can think of so many.
Times in my, um, ministry past with
upset people were just getting it
together and sup trying to support
them, kept them from leaving, right?
So that's a great one.
Number eight, encourage self-care.
Steve Gladen: Yeah, on, on this
one, you're, you're really trying
to, you know, summarize things that
you've heard throughout the whole
conversation a, a lot of times people,
they may not be getting enough sleep.
Uh, they may be so strung out, they
may have, you know, you know, four
kids, they're running around, they're
doing sports, they're doing all kinds
of things, but you gotta help them
figure out how are they taking care of
themselves, and, and more importantly,
this is all in line with spiritually.
How are you taking care
of yourself spiritually?
And maybe suggest to them during the
quiet time, this kind of goes in with,
you know, offering an activity or a
distraction, but you want to, you know,
come alongside them and, and just be
able to, to say, you know, Hey, can
you, can you Can you take a moment?
Can, and so many of these points
all play together with each other.
But what you wanna do is you wanna be
able just to say, how are you getting that
self-care and getting them to acknowledge.
Now, they may be in their Bible
all the time, uh, but what I have
found, and you hate to say 99% of
the time, but more times than not,
I will say this, have, uh, time in
God's word, time in their quiet time.
Uh, time in meditative exercises,
you know, with, with the Holy Spirit
have shrunk by this point that
they're only feeding themselves.
So generally more times than
not, there's not much self-care.
Derek Olson: Great one.
Self-care, encourage self-care.
And then next we've got avoid
minimizing their feelings.
What's that look like?
Steve Gladen: Yeah, this, it's,
it's basically saying you're just,
if you say this is not a big deal,
you shouldn't be feeling this way.
you know, you are, you're,
you're in the minority.
Nobody is, is dealing with
things like this Whenever you're
minimizing their feelings.
are guaranteed to maybe even
get some coffee thrown in your
face, uh, at that point in time.
But just don't minimize your feelings, you
know, uh, don't say you're overreaching,
don't, don't say things like that, but
be able to, uh, deescalate a situation
and that that's one way not to do it.
Derek Olson: So don't say something like,
ah, this isn't really that big of a deal.
Come on, pull up your bootstraps.
All right, next, we've got,
don't offer unsolicited advice.
Steve Gladen: Yeah, and again,
this is, this is where it's
more of an art than a science.
Uh, but the main thing is, is that there's
a point in pastoral care and ministry.
You do, uh, wanna offer some advice
to 'em, but, uh, I'll, I'll give that
to you in just give just a second.
but in this particular thing is if
they're not asking for anything, the
ground is not ready to receive any
seeds that you're trying to plant.
And again, you may have to listen
to 'em and stuff like that.
You can always come back
and ask them, Hey, is there.
I offer, know, a thought, uh, based on
talking to, you know, a number of people
that have found this to be helpful for
them and see how they respond to it,
but just tuck in the back of your brain.
If they're not asking for it, uh,
you may not be able to provide it.
Derek Olson: Yeah.
So you're saying if they're not asking
for, you know, opinions or solutions,
don't be, don't be sitting there trying
to fix the problem and you know, 'cause
a lot of people are fixers, right?
They want to just fix this.
And so you're saying now's
not the time for that, just.
Listen, unless they're asking.
Steve Gladen: You are bringing up
a great point, Derek, based on your
personality because uh, I am a fixer.
I mean, you gimme something, I'll, I'll
grind it out and it, that's, I'm glad
you bring up that point 'cause that is so
important for me to know about who I am.
So, uh, 'cause I'm like going,
dude, I can tell you how it's gonna
Derek Olson: Mm-hmm.
Steve Gladen: Uh, you
know, sometimes they're
Derek Olson: Sounds good.
Okay, and next we've got
share a relevant experience.
Briefly and cautiously.
Steve Gladen: Yes.
Um, you know, and I, I think this is our
last point, and then we have two little
bonus things for you to think about.
But Derek, you can correct me on that one.
Uh, but the main thing about this one
is, this is the flip side, the other side
of the coin to the point we just had.
And, uh, sometimes you can, uh, see
if they want to, if they're even open.
some things that have helped other
people that you've seen uh, are
experiencing your pastoral time together.
And again, this point and the
other point are, you know, same
side of the same coin, or I mean,
different sides of the same coin.
And again, it's a, it's an R to be
able to know how to deal with this,
but you want to be able to say,
uh, you know, holy Spirit guide me.
'cause sometimes is a point
where you can say to somebody.
Hey, I, I've seen this, this before.
Can I, can I help, can I help
you with it or can I give you
a couple thoughts of what they
Derek Olson: Hmm.
Steve Gladen: may not work for
you, but something that they did
to, to help them out, and that's
gonna be a super important thing.
Derek Olson: Great point.
Make sure it's the conversation's
not about you at this point.
Keep the focus on them.
Okay, well that wraps
up the 10, the big 10.
And then we've got a couple
bonuses, uh, after that.
Steve Gladen: I, I think it's very apropos
that you said the Big 10, uh, because
not getting about college
sports, this is boom.
'cause we know which,
which league is the best.
But I yet, I digress
from my friends who are.
Alabama friends who are right now
feeling the low tide, not roll tide.
but two,
Derek Olson: Alright.
Steve Gladen: things to keep in mind.
A couple things to keep in mind.
Um, be patient.
Um.
One coffee, one meeting together isn't
gonna fix a problem that's been brewing
for months and months and months.
And so you wanna be patient.
The other thing is, and this is hard for
us as pastors and key ministry leaders in
your church, uh, you can't force them to
change their mind if they don't want to.
sometimes we just part ways and just, I
even say, you know, my heart's screamed.
I wish we could, could, you know, at least
be at a place where you're not bringing
your resolution to this thing right away.
um, so just tuck those away that you
gotta be patient and you gotta remember
that, uh, you can't, can't make them do
something that they don't want to do.
But what you can do is you can pray
and just ask God just to bring, uh,
restoration, to, to bring harmony, to
bring unity and just see what happens.
And you never know when, when you guys
part, after you've had a chat there, there
may be an incredible opportunity with
God's spirit that they come back or they,
they hunt you down or something like that.
And I guess
Derek Olson: She down.
Steve Gladen: a good word.
But they try to find you and
to say, Hey, you know what?
God's been doing something in my
heart, and they may not be happy,
but they're willing to see what
God will do and, and not disengage.
So I think most people, deep down,
they, by the time you're, you're
setting things up and by the time you
even have a chance to apply the Big
10 that we gave you, it's just, um.
It's been
Derek Olson: Mm-hmm.
Steve Gladen: and so unfortunately
you're not gonna, uh, fix it too quick.
But I, from my experience, the setup and
these 10 things will help you immensely
as you're dealing with up upset people.
And, uh, and, and, and maybe
Derek, our teams will end in
a tie and then we'll be happy.
Derek Olson: Is that still legal, a tie?
Steve Gladen: No, it's
not, but only in pro.
But I'm praying.
Derek Olson: That was a great
last, uh, bonus point there.
Be patient hope for the best, but
also don't be surprised if it turns
into a Paul and Barnabas situation.
Right.
Steve Gladen: Yeah.
And there are the, the possibilities of
things separating in the New Testament.
We definitely see that, you know,
with Paul and, uh, mark and, barn
playing a big role in trying to
be a peacekeeper and all that.
So it is a, it is a situation
that is sometimes I.
Inevitable.
and we may not understand it, but
we trust God that he's got, he's
moving the chess pieces around for a
reason, so we just take it from there.
Derek Olson: Well, there you go.
And um, after we beat
you, I'll be very patient.
I'll continue to offer support to
help you navigate your feelings.
Steve Gladen: Thank you very much.
I, I may need that, may need that.
And just remember, don't text, and
if you're listening, don't text.
I'll, I'll appreciate a silence.
I'll, I'll appreciate some quiet
time on Saturday, uh, evening.
Derek Olson: texting and I'll, I'll
just wait for your congratulatory
text when your heart's softened.
Steve Gladen: It may come after the show
is aired, so, but be patient, be patient,
Derek, uh, put that point in there.
Be patient.
Derek Olson: Well, there are
the 10 ways to, uh, facilitate a
meeting with somebody who is upset.
We hope that those really, uh,
help you out and empower you as
you deal with upset people in your
small group ministry or church.
And Steve, anything else
to say before we close?
Steve Gladen: No, just, uh, take a
peek at the show notes that'll probably
help you out and kind of make up for
all the things that I didn't cover
with that or Derek didn't cover.
And, uh.
Just again, just um, be
patient with people there.
God, God gave it to you to take care
of, so take care of their souls well.
Derek Olson: And I gotta close with, I
mean, look at the color combinations here.
You know?
What is this Scarlet and gray
and black or, or do you like the
Royal Purple and gold royalty?
Steve Gladen: Oh, I can kind
of see where this is going.
Obviously you have not really let those
10 points saturate into your heart
yet, so you may wanna go back, look
at all the, listen to the show, Derek.
Just listen to the show.
I.
Derek Olson: All right.
Well thanks everybody for tuning in.
Have a great month of October
and we will see you next month.
Steve Gladen: All right.
God bless guys.
Louisa: Thank you for listening!
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