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An elder emo and a queer belieber find surprise celebrity connections. It’s well researched deep dives + completely fabricated untruths. New episodes every Tuesday.
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Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
It’s me Susie your narrator, whatever. The short story is this episode is about Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, the movie not the book. The long story is that I got a Peacock subscription when I had Covid and I initiated it toward the beginning of December to watch the World Cup and then I had a month of Peack so I watched more movies in the past two weeks than I watched the entire rest of the year. Not even joking. I’ve been watching movies left and right. Although I actually may have watched Nick and Norah on Hulu or something. Long story short: I watched Nick and Norah. Alexis and I are talking about it. This is the episode. If you are not a Patron yet, you can become one for as low as $2/month to help support us and keep our show running. We’ve got a lot of fun things coming up as always, still going full blast so here we are. And if you are already a patron, thanks so much. We love you.
-Introduction by Gwyneth Paltrow-
Din din din get it. That’s the iCarly theme song.
Was it?
I wanted to sing the Friends theme song but I forgot the words.
Yeah I feel like you got thrown at some point. Do you want candy? This doesn’t have to be. Okay so the candy options are Pacman, which is cute. I assume the candy is not the point of this purchase. It’s a little arcade game. Galactic Warheads or 4D gummy blocks for Christmas. They are 3D and then the 4th D is “delicious.”
You’re saying it’s delicious or that’s what the box is telling you?
That’s what the box says.
Okay. Also, I just want to say. Susie texted me “do you want to do an emergency podcast in 30-45 minutes?” and I said sure, what about? Which is usually how we podcast.
Yeah, we usually plan ahead. At least 30 minutes.
Usually we have at least a dayish or so.
So do you want me to tell you what this is about before we eat candy?
No, we can do the candy thing first. I just want to say that’s where we are. Well then Susie said it’s a surprise but you’ll be fine.
Now I’m drinking a stiff drink.
That was my next question. What’s in your cup?
Jager and sparkling water.
You didn’t even offer?
I have no more jager. I figured you would make yourself a gin and tonic.
I would have made one before I came in here!
You want to make a gin and tonic?
No it’s fine. I’ll drink water.
We’re clearly having a misunderstanding.
Right now there’s weather. Right? All over the country. Just weather.
It was beautiful here today.
Yeah we’re fine, Pennsylvania is fine.
It was like 40 degrees out.
And it’s also almost Christmas and my profession involves the delivering of packages. Not me—I’m on the phone. But people call.
People think you.
Right! They certainly accuse me of having something to do with it daily. And let me tell you these people are stressed. The weather hasn’t impacted the mail yet but the number of calls where people are like “is my package!?” No idea buddy. Once it leaves our house… at the post office, the postal lady who works there I’ve seen here before. She’s really funny because she looks so mean, so so mean. And when she was helping the people in line in front of me they would ask “so this will be there in five days?” and she would go “supposedly.” And they would then ask “is this one two days?” and she would go “supposedly.” But the thing that kills me is she was wearing the cutest little headband that looked like elf ears. And she’s actually really nice. She’s just a Pittsburgh lady so she’s not going to waste your time being nice, she’s gonna be nice when it calls for it.
She’s going to tell you the truth in as few words as possible.
Yes.
She also had the same exact demeanor when I was in there around Halloween time and she invited me to their Halloween party.
Oh that lady.
Yeah. But she looks mean.
Yeah I get you.
She works for the post office!
Yeah I was gonna say. In Pittsburgh.
In Trumansburg, the post office lady looked like she had been escorted out of a Pixar film to work at the post office. So.
So you have a couple ideas of what—
Anyways, um. Let’s have some gummy blocks.
I finished.
It’s printed with 4D all over it.
Do you wanna hold this?
Is this a Minecraft thing? It’s Lego shaped.
They’re Legos.
Was I not listening?
No, I never said Lego because they’re called gummy blocks. Oh they’re not Lego brand. No. They’re like building brick. Exactly.
Wow this is fun!
Supposedly you could build a sleigh or a candy cane although now that I’m seeing how many are in there, I doubt that.
This looks like a really easy type of package to open without any help.
That’s like the thickest plastic I’ve ever seen.
It’s like when you’re trying to open scissors but you need scissors.
WOW!
Do they smell?
It smells strong. I’m just gonna rip it. I would be dedicated to finishing these so I’m just going to open it like this so I can grab every type.
Oh that’s what you mean. You’re like let’s open it wide open because I’m going to do it anyway. Wow these are pretty… I feel like they might actually work.
They actually do connect. Oh they smell like fruit snacks.
Oh this is fun. That’s cute. I like this.
Oh they kind of work.
The little circle part of the building bricks fits into the holes right.
I think they’re also a little bit sticky.
Yeah that’s true. So that helps them but they’re actually pretty uniform.
So which flavors… what are the flavors again?
The flavors for these are not listed. I thought you said the fourth flavor was dimension.
There’s three dimensions and then the fourth one is delicious.
Can you please eat one of the white gummies?
What flavor is it? That is not a flavor. I think they’re rubber. This is like eating an eraser. Why does this taste like nothing?
It smells more than it tastes. Should we take a covid test? I thought it was going to be super strong. It smells like a candle.
Yeah, candle not candy.
Smells like a candy flavored candle. Tastes like NOTHING.
What did they just put like a? Spray something in there?
Maybe the point is just to stack them. It is cute though. The white ones are opaque and the red and green ones are transluscent.
Okay so here’s what happened. So I watched Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist.
Oh you did?
Yeah. I’ve never seen it. It didn’t do anything for me which is fine.
I watched it recently in this year and it’s only nostalgic for me. You had to have watched it when you were like between sixteen and twenty maybe but then after that…
I’m way too old.
Oh yeah one hundred percent. I acknowledge that.
That’s like when we tried to get your friend to watch Perks of Being a Wallflower thinking it would do something and then we realized he’s like thirty something and there’s no reason.
It came out in like 2008. Call me crazy, I think there’s too much music in that movie. Okay. So I understand. I’m not the right person to ask.
The thing that got me that made me alarmed. There’s a lot of gay people in this movie. Like Michael Cera’s character is in a band where he’s the only straight guy. Everyone else is a gay guy. Including one of them is the guy from Disturbia who is friends with Shia Labeouf.
Yeah but can you imagine being… it’s 2008 and you just watched Disturbia (I think Disturbia came out before that) and then you’re seeing that though. Can you imagine how exciting that would be?
There’s an Andy Samberg cameo.
Who is Andy Samberg?
Homeless guy. He has like one line. He’s outside of the church.
But yeah. I have that movie on DVD. I’m sure you do.
There’s the three gay guys in the band. I was already sort of feeling weird somehow they upped the ante of useless gay best friend to be like three useless gay best friends. Like their entire point of being there is just to help out the straight people. Yeah and it also… I think they didn’t want there to be any implication that they were going to do something bad to the drunk best, the drunk girl.
Sure.
I think they might have just made a quick character change to them. But then it comes up so many times. And it’s annoying. So it was starting to annoy me and I was like alright, whatever. Then they go to a bar or like there’s some sort of event somewhere. There’s drag queens somewhere. And the drag queens…
There’s like a Christmas drag queen show.
I don’t know if any of those people are drag queens irl but the sense I got was it was straight guys wearing women’s clothes. Straight men actors. Wearing women’s clothes. That was the sense I got visually. Okay so then I say to myself “who wrote this fucking movie?” Because I know there’s a book. I’ve actually met the author of the book.
Oh.
Yeah. Who was it? His name is David something. He came to my college. He writes YA books. So like I don’t have to read the book to know the vibe. It’s fine again I understand I’m 27 years old, okay?
I’m not ignorant to this. But then I say who wrote this movie? And it’s a lady. I think maybe this lady is gay. There’s no lesbians in this movie but maybe somehow this lady is gay. Google her. Do you know her?
I don’t know who wrote it.
She’s married to Bo Burnham. Then I said that’s it I’m done. What’s her name?
I already forgot. I said married to Bo Burnham? Get lost. Get out of my face. I hate you.
That’s so funny.
Lorene Scafaria.
She’s still married to Bo Burnham? Even after Inside?
Yeah, even after Inside. And then I said to myself wow, what a match made in heaven. Talking about shit you don’t know about. You guys have that in common. What a couple of cool folks.
Yeah I forgot about the whole lotsa gay people.
The jokes were fine, it was fine. I didn’t like that they harped on the same like three jokes the entire movie.
They do harp on the same three jokes the entire movie.
One of them was there’s a drunk girl the whole time. Which is fine. That can be funny. I don’t love it but it can be funny. But her only joke was that she kept eating her gum no matter what happened to it. They do it like six times.
Then everyone at some point chews on the same gum you’ve seen her like drop in the toilet.
Yeah! It’s the only thing she does!
Did you think when you were bringing this up that I would be able to talk about this movie?
I knew you would.
That I would still know it so well?
Yeah I was pretty sure.
I used to watch it a lot.
I like Michael Cera less after watching this.
I watched a movie with Michael Cera recently. I went on an Abbi Jacobson kick after I listened to her book after driving to New Jersey like 7 times and then I wanted. I rewatched Broad City and then I watched a League of Their Own and then I rewatched every movie that she’s in. I’d seen most of them cuz there’s not that many. But then I watched one that I hadn’t seen that I knew if I had watched when I was like seventeen, I would have been obsessed with it. But watching it today made me.. I hated it. But it was her opposite Michael Cera. And Michael Cera was just a dick. He was not charming, he was not cute. But if I were to watch Juno or I watched Nick and Norah I still felt like aw, Michael Cera’s so cute.
Michael Cera weirdly doesn’t hold up for me.
But when I watched him in a movie I’ve never seen before I was like hate him. He’s gross. Not a fan of him. I think for me it’s a nostalgia factor. I hated him in that movie.
What movie was that?
It’s called like Other People or something like that.
Sounds great.
I would have. The vibe of the movie. I love movies like that. It was just follow around two different people and see what they’re up to. And Michael Cera and Abbi Jacobson’s thing was like. She was training to be like a reporter with him and it was her first day. And she was like really nervous and really bad at it. And he was just a dick trying to sleep with her and it’s just gross.
He's always try to sleep with somebody.
Sigh. Yeah.
Have you seen This is The End? Yes. Okay so for recap for people who haven’t seen it. This is the End is a bunch of celebrities play themselves in an apocalypse situation where the real life Biblical apocalypse happens and all of the pure people are raptured up into heaven which leaves everyone in Hollywood. Literally every last person in Hollywood stays on Earth as a living hell. And in the first couple scenes, there’s a big party where there’s just a million celebrities there. They called everyone they knew and pretty much all of them die. Because it’s just a cameo for all these people. Like dozens of celebrities. And one of the main characters… most of the main characters are part of the main crew of James Franco, Seth Rogan, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson. People that we know, big time comedians. And then one of the main guy’s that’s in there is Jay something. And I always felt like they were trying to trick me into believing that he was important. I remember seeing. He’s like Seth Rogan’s best friend in this movie. Seth Rogan and James Franco are the friends, I’m not an idiot. I’ve never seen this guy in my life. He’s in Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist.
Aha, who was he?
He plays Tal, the guy who’s like—
Is he the guy who’s dating Norah?
Yeah. The gross guy. What is his actual name? Jay Baruchel. Okay.
And I remember seeing an interview after This is the End where they were just talking as if he’s always been there? And he’s not in all their other movies. I can’t think of any other movie I’ve seen with that guy. I’ve never seen him in something other than this is the end and I thought they were gaslighting me.
I forgot he was in This is the End. That movie, I haven’t seen it since it came out.
But one of the most powerful cameos in This is the End is Michael Cera’s doing cocaine in the bathroom and getting blow jobs from multiple girls. And. I’ve always wondering how the fuck did.. like why is Michael Cera so tight with all them? But Michael Cera plus the guy from Nick and Norah who is supposedly besties with all these other guys, it all came together for me.
Isn’t Jonah Hill in This is the End?
Uhhhm very possibly. Yeah he is. He is? Plus Superbad too.
It’s like the Judd Apatow guys. Yeah. Huh. Yeah did I tell you you wouldn’t like this movie?
I think you did. Yeah. So then I tried really hard to like it. Fair enough. Yeah. And then you were like no. Then I was like stop playing music in every scene. Like it literally cheapens music when you use it to make every single scene feel important.
Feel something. Yeah. Huh interesting. Did you feel that way about Adventureland? No. I think I was distracted for Adventureland. I’ve watched it with you twice. I know. First of all, there’s no proof it was twice. I feel like it was once. Second of all. I feel like there’s a lot of music. There’s no way that it’s every second of the movie. And I know that it’s a playlist.
That’s literally what it’s called. I know. I know. That’s why music is reserved for—
For important scenes.
Also there’s a difference between a score and also no, don’t. It was not a score. It’s not. They’re playing music. And it’s music maybe I wouldn’t have heard in 2008 so maybe I’d be more interested but now I know all these songs and they’re distracting me.
I don’t remember caring about the soundtrack of Nick and Norah. Soundtrack of Adventureland, loved it. There’s a lot of music in that style of movie, I guess.
Salad movie? Style of movie.
That might have been what I said but that’s what I was trying to say. Got it. Like 500 Days of Summer. Lotta music. Juno: a lot of music. It’s just that they’re always doing something too in Nick and Norah.
Always. Like there’s not even just a walking scene.
Right there’s not like a quiet moment where you can have a swell of music, nothing. Just have a moment to yourself.
Yeah no it just goes and goes.
Huh. I guess at that time the gay best friend thing was a big thing too but I never thought about the fact that they overdid it.
They overdid it so hard. They were like you know what’s better than one gay best friend? Three. That’s so stupid. Didn’t they give Norah a new bra? Yeah. They rarely get to have the punchline, if ever. I’d have to rewatch it to double check that which I’m not gonna do. I think Norah gets most of the punchlines right? Yeah. And then Michael Cera gets to sometimes be like oh is that… my friend’s bra? Ha ha.
The joke is “man wears bra.” Good one. Way to go, 2008! Bo Burnham. He was at that movie premiere I bet.
I don’t know if they were together in 2008. Isn’t he like 50? Bo Burnham?? Wasn’t he born in like ’85 or something?
Sounds like 50 to me!
Breaking news: if you were born in 1985, you are fifty years old. He was born in 1990. Oh shit wow. I thought he was… that’s annoying. I thought he was born in the 80s. Yeah. Fer sure. At least.
He’s been with this woman since 2013. I also just assumed he’s been married since like 2000. When he was 10 years old? Well I thought he was born in like 1980 so he would have been 40 then. Wow, Wikipedia doesn’t have his actual birthday. They just have the year. We don’t know his sign. I’m sure we know his sign. Somewhere. I don’t think any of these… pretty sure Bo Burham fans are into astrology.
I don’t think they are. I think they’re straight. Oh, oh wait! Oh no I misread this. I thought that it was saying he was a member of a Gay Straight Alliance because I was scanning too fast but what it actually says is this isn’t fair but. On March 3rd, 2009 students of Westminster College, including members of the campus Gay Straight Alliance, this is what stopped me, and Black Students Association protested his concert because of his use of homophobic and racist terms in his performances. Gasp.
I saw a TikTok the other day where they’re going around asking college students questions. You know the ones. And they asked this girl if she was gay. And her response was “I’m an ally.” No they asked her if she was in LGBTQ and one of the top comments was “that’s not what the A means.” It’s not. But then she talked as if she was gay the whole time.
Um. So two things just to finish this thought. Of the controversy, Bo Burnham said “it’s so ironic because gay bashers were the ones labeling me in high school.” Not the same thing. I have heard so many straight men that were bullied in high school, because they were called gay they think they’re like an automatic ally or something. That’s absolutely not how that works. No. You were a theater kid, okay, which is a different thing. There’s some overlap! The Venn diagram overlaps quite a bit. It’s different. Secondly.
Is he allowed to say that? And everyone’s just fine with it?
I guess. This was 2009. Secondly, if they were to ever add an H to the LGBTQIA+ acronym, it would refer to Michael Cera and Michael Cera only. If we’re going to include heteros, we are only including Mister Michael. Name a movie where he’s not affiliated with a gay person or someone in the acronym. You can’t.
Like the character or the actor?
Either way.
Okay yeah he’s done.
Also!
When was the last time you listened to his album?
I was about to say, regarding his album, for a guy who plays a musician in multiple movies, he makes some strange music.
He does make strange music. He plays a musician in a lot of movies.
I only know of Nick and Norah and Scott Pilgrim. What else?
Juno. Oh really. Him and Juno were in a band. That was the only other one I had. I had those two and—
Three is good. Three’s a party.
Two’s a coincidence, three’s a trend.
Is that what you think of with that?
Yeah what do you mean?
Seven. Wait seven’s a serial killer.
You’re the one with the serial killer thing and that’s seven.
Uh there’s this episode of Phil of Future where he gets them to make a second one of the teachers makes a second one of him and he’s like “can I have one more? Two is kind of like a couple and I want more of a party.” So that’s what you’re talking about. But what you said makes way more sense. Isn’t there also a three’s a crowd saying. Two is three’s company. Or is it two’s company? Three’s Company is the show. It’s gotta refer to something. Three’s company. Four’s a crowd. Five golden rings. That’s so true. You know what these little legos don’t taste like? Christmas. Anything. Ha, anything really. But they are especially not Christmasy. I guess. Okay it would be a fun stocking stuffer. Especially for a kid. They’re just disappointing. They just don’t taste like anything. Yeah. Which is fine if you’re just going to play with them for a little while. Which is fine but maybe at that point just get legos.
You clearly just want Legos. They’ll last longer.
I finished the Good Place.
You finished it??
In the same day that I—I didn’t really try this hard to get the timing right but I also finished Mike Schur’s book on How to be Perfect. How do you feel? Perfect. You did it. Do they give you a certificate at the end? Yeah. But I was thinking about it… because of the way the show takes place. The timeline. It’s like oh it’s been three hundred fifty million years or something casually.
Because they’re in heaven sort of.
They’re like going through time and space even when they go to Earth. It’s a whole thing. There are no holiday episodes. Huh. Not one. Not even one where they reference it.
Weird, especially because it aired as a normal prime time show. Yeah.
And like shows that have weird timelines or something make up a stupid reason to have a holiday party or something, you know what I mean? Mhm. But no. It was very cute though. It was a good ending.
This is unrippable. Yeah this is crazy. Do you think those bodybuilders that can rip phonebooks can do it? Or like that scary guy on Tiktok? I don’t know why he’s always… well I know now it’s because I share it every time so I’m interacting with it. But before it was sharing it, this guy would just comes up and he has this little hallway and he just works out in jeans and has a really intense gaze. And he will stop and take a break and if he gets so many likes he tries to… he gets like five pieces of paper and he’ll fold them like seven times and he tries to rip the paper and he’s just like HHUUUEERRGHH and he’s like ripping it and freaking out and then he like promotes these… you know those grip things? Yeah! There’s like two pieces of metal and you close your fist. Do you know what I’m talking about? Yeah you bend ‘em towards each other. He promotes them and he has like—can he even rip the paper?? Yeah he rips the paper. He has like small ones, big ones, and he’s like “if you do this for this long every day, you’ll be like me. You’ll be able to rip that paper too.” And then he’ll like bend a spoon and break it.
To what end?
I don’t understand. Then you’ll hear rummaging and all of a sudden you’ll hear GLICK GLOCJK all of his broken shit and he’s looking through it like “look at this spoon I did last week.” He’s just ripping spoons in half. What a cool guy. And everyone’s like why are your jeans so sweaty? And it’s because he’s just fucking working out in jeans. They’re so wet. That’s so gross.
Planet Fitness got all new machines. Oh yeah? Kind of exciting. It’s the same machines that were at the Planet Fitness I went to when I was in high school that they’ve had at this one and all of the Yelp reviews for this Planet Fitness are like the typical like terrible customer service but also a lot of complaints about the machines and them being old. The ellipticals literally had like holes in the foot spots just from wear. And now it’s like… I think I was in there the first day the machines were in there. There were no fingerprints on them. It was like ten A.M. I think they literally put them in Sunday night and I was there Monday morning. All those people are going to read those Yelp reviews and leave this Planet Fitness alone because it’s just in a strip mall in Swissvale. But here it is. They replaced all of them? Yeah. That’s wild. All of the cardio machines, not the weights. The old ones had—these were removed on these ones but for the longest time they had the iPhone 4 charger. The fat iPhone. iPhone 4 and before. It was so you could plug in your iPod and then there was an iPod stand that didn’t fit my phone. So now I go to the best Planet Fitness in the country.
You think the first one they put it into is the 24/5 Planet Fitness in Swissvale? Maybe. That’s all you know. According to you. Yeah so, Michael Cera. Great for nostalgia, not great for a first time watcher. Yeah. At twenty-seven years old.
I didn’t really like any of the characters. I was going to say, I don’t think you’d like the Norah character. I didn’t like her. I wanted to like her. I just didn’t get it. Yeah. She’s the daughter of a famous record producer. Everyone sees her for her dad’s status. You’re supposed to feel bad for her because of that.
But Michael Cera sees her as her own person. This could have been an email. Now I really want you to watch 500 Days of Summer. How many of these movies do I have to watch before you watch Deadpool? If you watch 500 Days of Summer, I’ll watch Deadpool. Okay.
Because even if you do end up liking 500 Days of Summer, I think it might hold up better but I think it’s also really toxic.
Also I don’t hate Nick and Norah’s. You just know it wasn’t for you to be watching it. It’s not for me. I don’t get it. Did you click on it? Yeah, it was on the home screen.
Earlier today I was walking Vienna in the park and there was this lady walking this huge dog. She’s like a white fluffy labrapoodle or whatever they’re called. It was a really cute dog but then the lady was like very—you can tell when people like don’t want their dog to interact with your dog so I like try to like keep Vienna away and run fast. So she was doing that and holding her dog in place while I walked by with Vienna. Then a little bit later, she was behind us the whole time, and then a little bit later there was someone else with a bigger dog but they did the same thing where they made them stop and wait while Vienna and I passed. And then right after there was ANOTHER person with like a sort of larger dog but the dog was super silly and wanted to come up to Vienna, they said hi. It was fine, whatever, we kept walking. And then where I was at in the park started to bend and I started to see the Labrapoodle and the second—I think that’s the wrong name—but there was a white dog and a black dog that had both waited for Vienna to pass and wouldn’t let their dog move and then they went up to each other. They were playing with each other, jumping up and down, and they went up to each other and everybody was laughing and having a nice time. And Vienna was just looking at them and I felt so sad for her. Just because she’s little?
Aww.
Which I understand they are probably trying to protect her because she’s tiny. But I still felt really bad. And she saw them hanging out with each other? She saw them hanging out after they didn’t say hi to her. We went to this pop-up Christmas Bar which is silly in Pittsburgh because there’s a year round Christmas bar. The market’s full. We don’t need that.
We got these peppermint drinks that were served in Christmas mugs that had half-and-half in it. It was delicious. They put whipped cream and candy canes. It took about twenty minutes for them to make them but I don’t think that’s the drinks’ fault. I don’t think we can blame the drink for that one.
Okay also I’m not going to dwell on this but the fucking bouncer at this bar was patting down all the men. If anyone can tell me why please, text me. If he was patting everyone else down or checking pockets, fine. He was—I literally… the only thing I could think is he was just doing a power move. I have power, I am the man of this room. I am the alpha man of this room. That’s the only thing I could think. When we walked in he barely looked at our IDs. He was sitting at a table and said “IDs?” and we were like who are you. He literally didn’t even look. And then the men that were coming in… it didn’t matter if they were wearing heavy clothing. I understand there’s a slight fear of gun violence. Women can also carry guns, the fuck? Again if he was checking purses and shit, sure maybe, but he didn’t give a fuck. He was doing like a full pat down. It was a full pat down for every single man. Armpit, down the waist, down the legs. Down each leg. For what? Okay.
Fuck marry kill.
Nick, Norah… did you have someone else in mind? No. Nick, Norah, and Michael Cera.
How am I supposed to possibly separate Nick from Michael Cera?
Hm. I feel like even if you haven’t seen that movie, it’s obvious that that’s the same thing.
Wait wait wait wait. I have one more thing to say. The writer of this movie has a cameo. So early on. So Michael Cera. So one of the three jokes they really lean into is the gum thing, and one of the other ones is Michael Cera’s car. He’s the only one that drives a… what is it called? A Yuba? A Yugo. He’s the only person in all of New York that drives this car. People keep mistaking it for a taxi, his ex-girlfriend can easily find his car because it’s the only one, whatever. They bring it up no less than ten times. We get it. He’s the only one with this car. Some drunk people get in the backseat of his car early on. They think it’s a taxi. He drives them anyway because he’s Michael Cera and he’s timid. The two drunk people: it’s the writer of the movie making out with Seth Meyers. Like regular Seth Meyers. So she wrote herself a small part where she makes out with Seth Meyers in the back of Michael Cera’s car. I hate that. The fuck is that? It’s even worse that it’s Seth Meyers. I agree. Like they got Andy Samberg. I feel like they literally were just pulling people. Like the New York City comedians like ay, we’re in New York City. You’re in New York City, you’re Seth Meyers, you’re quietly handsome. Who, Seth Meyers? You wanna make out with the writer of this movie? He said yeah. I would love to. It would be my honor.
How about Nick, Norah, and the writer of movie.
I’m probably going to kill the writer, fuck Norah, marry Nick.
I’m gonna marry the writer to save her from Bo Burnham. Oh that’s nice of you. And she’s clearly well connected. That’s smart. You can meet Seth Meyers, for example. You and Seth Meyers could be Eskimo Brothers. That’s so true. The dream. I don’t even know what to do with the other two. I guess I’ll fuck Nick and kill Norah. Fair. No I’m changing my answer. I’m fucking Norah, killing Nick. Wow. No offense, Michael.
He would be exhausting to know. Also, we’ve had glimpses of what a sex scene with a Michael Cera character would be like—I forget about that scene. Every time it makes me uncomfortable. Right, we don’t need that in my life. So I’m going to skip that.
Wait can you say—can you explain how the scene happens? How the audience received the sex scene? It’s actually really gross. It’s honestly one of the worst sex scenes I’ve ever encountered.
So what happens is the whole movie takes place in one night. Will they won’t they? Nick and Norah barely know each other, they have mutual friends, whatever. They finally get to a point where Norah at the end of the night, it’s like 4 or 5 AM. Wait also there’s this joke about how Norah’s never had an orgasm. A fine joke. At the end of the night, Norah finally has the opportunity to reveal her true identity to Michael Cera as the daughter of a major record producer and she takes him back to Electric Lady Records Studio whatever and she’s like hey, Nick. Why don’t we record your music right now? And he’s like okay, I’d love to do that. And then he’s in the booth. She’s on the buttons and sliders and whatever. They don’t get very far because she’s like I’m gonna come in there. She’s so hot and bothered seeing him on a microphone.
Also they finally… the whole movie they were trying to find this band Where’s Fluffy and they finally found the band and they left for this. Excellent point. Oh sorry. Spoilers.
She goes into the booth.
There’s like little couches in there whatever, it’s a standard recording studio. They start making out on the couch. Michael Cera’s being Michael Cera-y. Norah’s being Norah-y. They pan back through the glass. So that you see all the volumes and the whatevers, all the displays of the studio and bitch has her first ever orgasm and we are hearing it through the microphone with all the little volumes going all the way into the red zone. She is squealing. Michael Cera’s there. So anyways, pass on that.
Wait they don’t find the band, they find the band after that. I can picture Michael Cera picking up his pants. They still leave the concert. They don’t see the actual band. They were too late or something. I wasn’t following very well at that point.
Nick’s like “I’m tired.” It’s been a long night.
She has her first orgasm. It is really uncomfy. It’s not my favorite thing to ever happen. Doesn’t he get Juno pregnant?
Yes. That’s crazy. The first scene of Juno is the two having sex. And he goes “I’ve wanted this for a really long time” and Juno goes “Ew” and then he goes “Wizard.”
Wizard?
Yeah, that’s his response.
What does that mean? Is that funny?
He’s just a loser.
Yeah. He’s a Canadian loser. He’s adorkable.