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The Rotten Drowned Devoted goes down, Baldrick bombs a staircase back to daylight, and Crunch — impossibly — is still breathing. Cousin Ginebrin says the rot hasn't taken yet and points them at a halfling called the Fly Merchant. Then pig spiders erupt out of Crunch's forge floor.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
Creators and Guests
Host
Host
Guest
Guest
Guest
What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
Are you ready for another exciting episode of Run Grind?
We just dropped in to tell everybody that we're all leaving you for Elder Ring.
Yeah, we're all leaving. Bye, Patron's keenness.
Five out of six people.
It's not a you problem, it's an us problem.
Well, regardless of that, hi, everybody.
Welcome to another exciting episode of Run Grind.
Man, I think this is episode four, which is awesome.
Thank you, everyone, so much for supporting us so we can get this far and everything.
And we also like to say thank you to the people who have been, I guess it's like it's a weird sponsor thing.
Thank you, everyone, who's been helping us out, stay alive and everything.
Everyone on Patreon, if you support us at Patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration,
where you can get all the assets and stuff that we can use for episodes,
which episode two and three assets should be releasing either sometime today or tomorrow.
I've just been it's Elden Ring.
OK, Elden Ring has ruined everything for us.
And so that should be released fairly soon.
If you're interested in like the stats of the monsters, our tokens, icons, all that fun stuff with release them on Patreon,
along with a timed release that will be happening after episode five.
So if you are interested in supporting us and we can keep the lights up, keep making stuff for you guys, keep putting on an amazing show.
That's where you can help us there, along with if you're curious of going like, hey, I really like the show.
I really know when things get released.
I know I want to know all of everything.
How do I find out?
We have a website called narrative declaration dot com.
You can go there and find more about us a little bit.
And Oda, you we still need to get a description for you for your section on the website.
Right. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we need that.
That's all right.
Try it.
What else do you need to know?
And saying that's it.
But yeah, that helps you find out that helps you find the schedule when we're live.
That helps you find the times when we're live, where we're going to be live, all that stuff, along with giving you a very handy countdown timer
that counts down when we're live for the next episode.
So that's some interesting little tidbits there.
And for the last thing of the docket, thanks, everyone, for supporting the Zoran the Bear plushie campaign.
The campaign is over.
There will be no restocks.
That is a limited time of release.
And thank you for everyone.
We reached the goal.
So now they're being made and they're going to get shipped out to people sometime.
I think this month, I think at the end of the month, they get shipped out.
And then everyone gets to have their own Zoran the Bear plushie.
So thank you, everybody who really helped out for that.
Really appreciate that for everybody.
Oh, actually, the one last thing.
I cheated last episode.
I cheated.
Not surprised.
So we play the system Pathfinder 2nd Edition, which apparently a lot of people keep missing
that we announced it at the beginning of each episode.
But I messed up.
I cheated on accident.
I should not have been able to turn into a bear last episode because we were level two.
We're all now level three, by the way.
You leveled up during the fight.
It's okay.
Yeah, a level up during the fight.
The bullshit reason is that.
But the actual reason is that we were level two.
And I'm going to get a second level spell slot that allows me to turn into a bear at
that point, which I just thought level two, level two spell slot.
But I play Wizards a lot.
I should have known that.
So I messed up.
Regardless, we just said, ah, you leveled up mid-fight.
You got your experience.
It was a narrative thing.
You were unlocking your bear power that you will know.
Yeah, I was growing into my character.
Yeah, exactly.
It's extra EXP from the no hit run.
Your power was immense.
You could barely contain it.
I hate you.
So as we're continuing on, the worst thing about being named as one of the bear, which
I hate the name to this very day, is the fucking bear jokes.
And they're all the same.
Goddamn.
So, um.
So yeah, so that's nice.
It's just me to pretty much to say that, that we do make mistakes.
So if you do see a world that we go wrong, just be respectful.
We're all human.
Um, it's a lot to kind of remember a lot of tips of RPG rules in any system.
So if we do make a mistake, feel free to point it out, uh, but just be respectful and kind
about it.
Uh, but other than that, let me go introduce to you the amazing people, uh, that helped
make this show happen.
I'm going to start from left to right.
Kind of on the screen here.
I'm going to start off with the, uh, start with Oda Roshi.
Go and tell people who you are and what character you're playing.
Well, I'm starting today.
Uh, hi.
Hello.
My name's, uh, Oda Roshi.
You can find me on Twitter at Oda Roshi writer.
Uh, I am a friend of the show.
I am a friend of the cast here and the Alpha Busa and Ogre Popening gang.
Uh, and I will be playing, uh, Vali, the sylph swashbuckler.
And next up we have Hulky Crow.
That be me.
I am Hulky Crow.
I am a, well, former anchor employee, I guess, of now Ogre Popening Productions.
I haven't done much since everything else started, but you know what?
That's cool.
I did a lot of fun stuff with Alpha Busa and Erndel and the speaker and all the bunch.
Uh, did some funny voices, got some cool stuff in the pipe as well.
Uh, I will be playing, uh, Rahua, the Konrasu Cleric.
We're working on it.
Yeah, yeah, we're getting there.
We're getting there.
Uh, and next up we have Erndel.
Yep.
Uh, I am Erndel.
I work with Alpha on the project as previously stated.
I am a primary writer for the show and general handyman around his existence, I suppose, as
an admin and other kind of things.
Uh, you can see me at Twitter at Erndelio and nowhere else because I keep social media
garbage to a minimum as best I can.
I also have a Tumblr, but that's not linked, so who gives a shit?
And next up we have Speaker D, how you doing?
Here I come again, turning victory into death and hope to despair.
I am Speaker D.
I am one of the many writers on the lovely cavalcade of Uga Pupeneng slash Alpha Busa's
varying misadventures.
I am one of the lead writers on Hunter the Parenting and various other projects.
And, uh, I am playing Tanhauser, the revolutionary magus.
You are also guest starred by Squeaky Chair.
I am also here as my Squeaky Chair.
Yes, apologies.
I am.
I'm in my new apartment and I don't, I don't know how the sound travels, so I can't squeak
so much.
It's Squeaky Chair.
It's like now first we have Erndel with Carr.
Now we're going to have you with Squeaky Chair.
We have Odo with her mouse.
We have Hulky with his weeklies.
There's so many noise.
They just distract me.
We all have a...
We all have a sound thing.
That's right.
We all have a sound thing specifically to bother Zoran.
It's growing.
That's right, I have the cat.
We all got together and we said, how can we make Rotgrind worse?
And we all came to different conclusions.
Grotgrind, you say?
Grindrot.
Elden Ring.
And next up, we have Thurston Hillman.
How are you doing, man?
Hi.
Hi, it's me.
You can find me at all the things that I'm called GM.
It's funny because we talked about how we get rules wrong.
I guess this is where I say I actually work on Pathfinder.
The rules, lulz.
But I'm a developer for Paizo.
I do digital development.
So I'm currently responsible for a whole bunch of digital products that Paizo makes.
And yeah, that's cool.
So I work on Pathfinder and Starfinder a lot.
Otherwise, yeah, you can find me on all the things that I'm called GM.
Like I said, I stream sometimes on Twitch.
Mostly it's been Elden Ring.
This week, I'm probably going to do some world building stuff because I've got a bunch of world building I want to do.
So I might start some streams of that.
So come check me out and, you know, we'll be cool and stuff.
And, oh, God, we're going to run a session today.
I'm super prepared.
Let's do it.
Yeah.
And I am your host, Zoran the Bear.
Pretty much we've been having a good time in our narrative declaration with all of you.
And since I already did my beginning spills, Thurston, what adventure do you have for us today?
Yes, yes, yes.
Let's just begin the recap.
Oh, I'm playing Auron the Druid because I forgot my own thing because I'm forgetful.
Oh, God, I forgot I lost you too.
This is very unprofessional.
We'll talk about it.
Very good.
Very good.
All right.
So our destined band of chuckle fucks continued their journey through the mysterious temple they awoke in after falling into outside sinkhole.
They overcame a complex trap that required them to endure an electrical and cold storm before receiving a pile of Zerkin gemstones, a mace, and a scroll case.
They then went on to encounter a group of undead monks tending to a vast flame, which Tannhauser and Rahua took point on investigating, both receiving strange visions related to outset in the nearby solitude, as well as unlocking new magical potential within themselves.
The group then proceeded back up to the upper levels, where they braved the large chamber and encountered an immense guardian, the rotten, drowned, devoted giant creature who fucked the party up pretty bad before eventually they put it down.
And with that, as the beast faded, a strange object floated in the air in front of the PCs, and the door at the opposite end of the chamber began to rubble open.
Dun, dun, dun.
And so just a reminder, as we get into things here, you had just defeated the rotten, drowned, devoted, which had collapsed down, and as he collapsed down, his body dissolved, and as it did, something was floating in the air.
A strange, almost aqua gemstone with coiling mists around it.
And just so everyone has a little reminder, I will re-share the image with everyone just there.
And I will swap out our background to something a bit more thematic and appropriate.
All right, so what are you all doing?
You've all been pretty beat up and hurt from your encounter with the Drowned Devoted.
Some of you are, in particular, pretty messed up.
But you've defeated the creature, the giant that you had discovered, corrupted by the rot.
And you now see the doorway at the end of the chamber is slowly rumbling open.
And you have this magical shiny thing, as Chad is saying, floating in front of you.
What would you all like to do now?
Wounded two and five HP.
I'm going to go touch the thing.
Fuck yeah, okay.
Maldrick is finding a way out.
He's done with this place and this party.
He's out.
I'm a, you know, I see Vali and I realize that caution is needed at this juncture.
So I'm going to go help her with my five HP.
Five HP, gang.
Or with his full HP, we'll do nothing and watch them do it all from afar.
Maldrick's just going on the other side of the room.
He's looking for a door out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're heading towards the opening door.
Rahua, what are you doing?
Rahua doesn't want to be left out and taking the social cues of his friends.
We'll also reach towards the shining object.
Of course.
Of course.
Of course you will.
Of course you will.
My 32 HP.
Again, things that make me laugh.
Ooh, shiny Tide Pod.
Yoink.
Okay.
Water gang.
Water gang.
All right.
So, gosh, I don't fucking know.
I'm going to assume it's a friendship moment and you all touch it together.
Yeah.
As you touch it, the coiling wisps.
This thing is maybe the size of the palm of your hand sort of floating in the air.
And as you touch it, each of you sort of go to touch it.
And the first one of you, I'll go with Valley because, you know, you just went for it there, Odo.
As your finger touches it, it kind of, like, drops into your hand and stops floating, becoming more of a mundane object.
It still has this sort of swirl of what appears to be, like, a band of that same almost zircon gemstone.
But there's, like, a thin band of water inside it.
Like, basically, the outer band is this gemstone.
And then inside the circle, which is maybe, like, a half, quarter inch thick, there's just this, like, pattern of pure water.
And then this mist is coming off of it.
And it is cool to the touch, but otherwise, nothing else is, nothing else happens when you grab it.
Huh.
Gonna hold it up to the light, kind of shake it around a bit.
Yeah, it seems like the water inside doesn't even move.
It's moving under some unseen pattern.
It shakes, and there's, like, a little bit of fog that, like, drifts around slightly differently.
But otherwise, yeah.
Huh.
Just.
Well, that's pretty.
Maybe, uh, good for an earring?
What do you think, Tani?
You think it's my color?
Well, you're already blue.
Hmm.
Colors are good when they're doubled up, right?
Yeah, you got it.
You got the idea.
What about you, Rahua?
You think this is, uh...
Or actually, maybe...
I'm gonna, like, hold it up to his little eye lens.
We could make it, like, a fun little pupil.
I can't see now.
Oh.
Would you please remove that?
No.
Okay.
Okay.
I just thought you would see, like, blue, like you were looking into water.
No, I just...
Baldrick, you've reached the door at the opposite end of the chamber at this point.
Uh, you can see that beyond the now-open doorway, it expands into a large cavernous space that
you can probably guess was some kind of, uh, open ground, um, but there's, like, collapsed
masonry, chunks of debris, though there is a large staircase that seems to ascend up from
here, almost like a transport-sized staircase, about 15 feet wide, heading up in towards
the darkness.
There's no lights out here, by the way, so as you come, you're just sort of seeing through
what residual light comes out from the flickering, uh, white flames of the chamber.
I see.
Uh, I don't have any more alchemy stuff left at the moment, so I can't craft a tinder twig
and just leave.
Crap.
All right.
Um...
It's true.
What do we think?
Seeing that everyone else is fixated on the orb, Baldrick will, I guess, go back to see
what's up with that, because everyone is looking at orb now.
Yeah.
Uh, what's the deal with the orb?
Not entirely sure.
It hasn't really done anything yet, besides be shiny and very pretty.
Apparently, Rahua can't see through it.
Are you guys moths?
Uh, I mean...
No, Tani, continue.
No, Tani, continue.
Why, thank you.
You are currently in a dungeon overwhelming with elemental power.
Uh, you think that perhaps this magical glowing artifact has no power within it?
I don't know, and I don't care.
I'd like to leave.
Why don't you care?
This could aid us in our revolutionary council.
All right, all right.
Tani, Tani, for one thing.
What do you mean, our revolution?
Well, we are all like-minded fellows, clearly.
We work well together, and we all have shared interests.
To me, it seems like it makes sense to unite under these circumstances.
The way I see it, I was in prison a moment ago, about to bust my way out, as I normally would, and granted, you did help me out of that bind.
However, in following you, I then proceeded to fall into a pit, after we all threw caution to the wind.
And now we're here, staring at an orb.
You'll have to pardon me if I'm not overly enthused.
Hmm.
I understand why you have a reputation, but no actual victory is to your name, if you are indeed this passive, with all things in the dismantling of Outset.
Ooh, ouch.
Let me tell you something, pal.
I don't really care what your opinion of how I get things done is.
We have been in a hole since you met me.
You haven't seen anything I've done.
You're right about that.
Now, I would like for us to work together efficiently, better than any of us could alone.
If you have other plans, by your means, enlighten us.
If you want to grab the orb and we can study it later, do that.
Otherwise, let's get out of here before we get sick.
I can hold it.
Or I'd like to walk up to it and everything else.
It seems like, I can give it a gander.
Sure.
You're into nature things.
Tell me what it does.
All right.
May I roll a nature check, though?
See what that thing do?
What that orb do?
You can give me a nature check to identify the item.
Also, I just imagine everyone listening is like, Thurston has given them a magic item.
They have spent 15 fucking minutes to make an identify check.
What is happening?
Shut up!
Don't bring attention to it.
We are so good at video games!
All right, I got a 24.
You're asking for trouble.
All right.
So, what'd you get there?
You got a...
Ooh, a 24.
Yeah, okay.
Um, so you are able to, um, you are able to identify this particular item.
Uh, this is a unique item.
Um, it is a special type of item, though, called an essence.
Uh, and these are very, very rare objects that only some people will sometimes find maybe one of in their lifetimes.
Um, what these are is they are essentially like runes and talismans.
They can be affixed to, um, armor or weapons.
In this case, this essence, the essence of the drowned, is, uh, deeply associated with, uh, armor.
So, you would, you would be able to apply it to an armor.
Um, and, um, in this case, you could affix it to an armor, where it acts like a talisman, but permanently gives a benefit.
So, in this case, if you affix this to an armor, the armor would grant the, the wearer of the armor a swim speed of 10 feet.
So, you can tell that it makes the, the, the wearer of this graceful in water.
However, you can also do the same, um, set up for etching a rune.
Like, you could actually, rather than just affixing it onto the armor, you could etch this into the armor itself.
And if you do so, it takes up, like, a, a, a regular slot, so to speak.
Uh, but the wearer would instead gain a swim speed of 20 feet, and resistance to water effects, and attacks by water-based creatures.
Yeah, so that's what it does.
Terrific.
Wow, Oren, your voice changed.
Yeah.
That was surprisingly a large amount of technical information.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Sorry, I've been studying.
What happened to your accent?
Like, I don't know.
I, I, I, I just pat him on the head and congratulate him on a job well done.
Yeah.
Is anyone else taking a look at this thing?
Yeah, I'll do it.
I got arcane, I might as well use it.
Well, you see, USB is right here.
It glows.
Oh, thank you.
I'll, uh, I'll, uh, look this up online, and I'll see if there's any, uh, Reddit posts in my memory about it.
Absolutely.
Please go ahead.
Uh, natural one.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, Tannhauser is cursed.
He always calls him.
Are you happy with that natural one?
Uh, I don't have any hero points, so it doesn't matter.
You have one.
Oh, I do?
Yeah, so I gave you one.
Wait, you know what?
I do care.
I'll spend it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Actually, I do have an immense amount of care.
Actually, I am incredibly involved in this.
Yeah, that's a 20 now.
I'm dirty 20.
But a 20 of the list.
You're able to, uh, you're able to confirm much of, um, much of what was said by, by your,
your friend, uh, Oren.
However, you can also tell that this is one of those objects that is psychically charged
as well.
So it has some kind of, um, like, important imprint on it.
So this would be something you could also utilize your object whispers spell on.
I see.
I will impart all of that information, just like Oren did to the rest of the group.
Wow, you can do the same voice?
Wow.
Wow.
That's a skill you learn in college.
True.
I learned a lot of things in college.
Looks down sad.
Oh, no.
Well, it seems like it's...
I don't expect someone like you to have ever gone to school.
Oh, at the tree school.
Don't judge your book by its cover, Rahua.
Um, so yeah, we, uh, so you could use object whispers on it as well.
Yeah.
It would have some kind of, uh...
Slap it with an object whispers.
Yeah.
Okay, so, so you, uh, you place your hand over this object and channel your, your, your strange magics into it,
uh, attempting to pierce the veil and figure out its secrets.
And a discordant voice in the back of your head speaks to you.
Essence of the drowned devoted, the essence of a primal entity now cleansed,
can be affixed or etched onto equipment to unlock additional powers.
The giant remained behind when the being of light shone its benefaction on outset.
Far below the earth, that searing light never touched it, but eventually the rot did.
Hmm.
Searing light.
What would I know about this searing light?
Um, look up.
You don't know anything offhand.
Uh, it's, it's a fairly broad term, so...
I suppose.
Like, is it, like, referring to just the sun, or is there, like, is this, like, some history that might have happened?
It might be related to history.
What kind of, like, history-based skills?
I have occultism, society, warfare lore, uh...
Is this Scoran lore?
Uh, you could give me a society check, but this will be incredibly difficult.
Fair enough.
Yeah.
Let's rock.
Ah-ha!
A 16!
Surely that tells me what I need to know.
Not quite enough.
You're, you're, you're unsure of the, the exact meaning of that.
I see.
Um, however, you, you, you would all know that this could be placed onto armor and, like, put on pretty quickly, like, a talisman, uh, to grant you the swim speed.
If you want to, like, etch it into your armor, you would have to spend a lot more time and, like, have someone who has crafting skills to do that.
Uh, but, but in the, in the meantime, where would you like this to go?
Who is going to be the, uh, the holder honor of this object?
Someone else hold the mysterious orb.
You are most likely to run afoul of oceanic creatures, given your truidic nature.
I say you hold on to it.
Okay.
Alright, I will, uh, I will put this into your inventory, Orin.
Righteous.
Righteous.
Okay, perfect.
Um, okay.
While you're doing that, Orin would like the whistle for his pot friend.
Uh, you mean Baldrick's pot friend?
Uh, you are just right.
Yeah, pot friend.
Yeah, he's my friend now.
The walking cauldron, uh, like, enters into the room, having waited outside the boss room.
I pet him.
I pet him.
Oh gosh, he's going to pick up the pot friend.
Oh god.
Yeah, cauldron buddy.
The cauldron approaches.
You pet him.
Now that we have done this, can we please move on?
I feed the pot raisins.
Though if there's more enemies about, it might behoove us to rest a moment.
Ugh.
Terrible idea.
I think most of my ribs are broken.
Isn't that fun?
Fine.
Pick a corner.
I can probably fix that, we just need to not be here.
Let's just take a bit to rest.
We'll just take as much time as we need.
There's some water.
I'm pretty sure I have some rations left over.
Whatever.
Okay, yeah.
So, I guess we'll take, what, a lung rest?
Yeah, so like the eight hour rest is what you're...
Yeah, we'll, uh...
We're going to camp here?
Yeah, camp out.
Hey, as well, we gotta heal.
Now I'll get my alchemy back and then I can explode.
It's, uh...
That's fair, that's fair.
Okay, okay, okay.
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, you can all rest.
Um, it...
You're not ambushed by anything in this downtime of resting.
You all, um, managed to regain your health.
Um, between, like, spells you have available.
I'm not gonna make you go through everything.
Like, between spells, you're gonna regain everything
like you had properly rested up to full.
So, yeah.
Huzzah!
After about eight hours of time in the other chamber,
you manage to rest up and recuperate.
Um...
I don't know, it looks...
It looks something like this amazing piece of artwork,
which I'm just sharing.
It's a fan art piece.
But it's basically what happens for the first time.
Aw!
I love the piece.
That was my pity to be doing fantastically smart.
It's so good.
Look at that.
That's our rest moment as they wait in the hot tub
and Baldrick stands outside.
I do emphasize, because...
We're trying to have artist credits directly on the image.
Uh, the person's Twitter is...
At P-I-T-H-Y-T-E-A.
Yeah.
P-I-T-H-Y-T-E-A.
You want to find him on Twitter?
I just had that picture once, Sharon,
because it's awesome and fits our resting.
Oh, I love it.
All right, so...
After resting, you all manage to get back up.
At this point, with the light on Rahua in mind,
you can sort of head out,
and even Baldrick, should you wish,
you have tinder twigs as well to illuminate the way.
But you make your way out of the immense chamber
where you fought the Drowned Devoted.
You come into this large, open space
with this large set of stairs leading upwards from it.
All right, well, that looks like
it should get us somewhere near the surface.
Nowhere else to go but that way.
Unless someone wants to walk off the side.
These stairs go up, comrades.
Let us away.
Okay.
I'll walk off the side.
Don't threaten me with a good time.
Why?
All right, so one thing as you're traveling,
and we haven't quite done it this,
or dug too deep into it up until this point,
but I'd like to now,
is the idea of exploration mode.
So a lot of the combat stuff we've been doing,
that's encounter mode, that's like round by round.
In exploration mode,
one of the three types of modes of play
in Pathfinder 2nd Edition,
this is you kind of outside of combat,
outside of immediate stressful situations,
and how you're sort of approaching things.
And each of you can kind of decide
what you would like to do as you are traveling.
So an example might be like Baldrick.
It typically tends to avoid notice
and using stealth to just move around quietly and cautiously.
You might, if you're like Tannhauser,
be casting detect magic all the time
to see if there's any sort of detect,
like magical elements coming up.
Others might decide to like investigate
or scout or search.
I kind of just want to get a sense by default,
so I don't have to ask you every time,
what it is each of you want to be doing
as you're sort of traveling as a group.
I'm going to start left to right on the screen,
like starting with Volley to me.
Yeah, exactly.
Because I know you're quickly going to have to look
for what you're going to do, Zorin.
You're smart.
Oh, I already know what I want to do,
but I just want to keep it structured
so that all of us pipe up at once
to make it easy on you.
Absolutely, absolutely.
So Volley, starting with you,
what kind of like, what are you doing
as you adventure as a group together?
By default.
By default, I would say I'm...
I'm going to look at my proficiencies here.
I would probably be, I'd probably be stealthing.
I would probably be, you know, moving sneakily,
kind of scouting ahead a little bit
and kind of trying to see where the danger is.
Absolutely.
So scouting and avoiding notice
are two different things, right?
So you could scout,
which would grant you a bonus to your initiative
and basically grants a bonus to you
and all of your allies.
But in your party's current dynamic,
two of your allies are actually naturally fast on their own.
So like Tannhauser and Orin are pretty fast on their own,
so they won't really benefit from your scouting.
But you could do that to like grant yourself
and Ruhu and Baldrick maybe a heads up in combat.
Otherwise, you could just like do stealth.
And what that would allow you to do
is if there was an encounter that came up,
you would basically get to use stealth to roll for initiative.
And you could also, with that check,
have avoided notice from the target entirely.
Oh, I'll do stealth in that case.
Perfect.
Okay, cool.
So stealthily scooching up.
Ruhua, what are you doing, my friend?
How are you sort of handling yourself
as the group moves together?
Ruhua's carrying on as he normally would.
I would probably be utilizing either my nature
or honest, probably a cult isn't divine.
What else is going on in this nightmare zone?
But also looking for any more moss or lucid moss,
wherever it may happen to occur.
But also just kind of look for more things
I might be able to combine to healing cells.
Or, oh, I'm popping.
Sorry.
I just noticed that on my speakers.
But yes, all in all,
just looking for more plant reagents I can use.
Okay.
You know what?
So what I would mark that down as,
is the, like, investigating.
This allows you to basically make recall knowledge checks.
So if there's anything that comes up
while you're traveling,
I'll let you, like, basically get a free recall knowledge
before any, like, combat or anything comes up.
So you're sort of looking around in those elements.
Perfect, perfect, perfect.
All right, Baldrick, how are you traveling with the group?
Normally he would be keeping an eye out,
but given that the area is not, like, hilariously wide
and rife for ambush, as far as he can tell,
he's actually going to take the time
to maybe look for alchemical supplies if he can,
just to have, like, on a permanent basis,
really just kind of looking out for unusual plants
and other kinds of things
that he might be able to use to his advantage.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I'll give you the same thing as Rahua there.
I'll let you, like, basically use Investigate.
So that'll, like, you're looking primarily for plants,
but I'm not going to be like,
oh, you are only looking for plants,
so you ignore everything.
Like, I'll give you the, basically,
the ability to recall knowledge on stuff
as you're moving.
Yeah, so, where shall I roll then?
Don't roll yet.
I'll tell you if you need to.
I'm just kind of getting a sense
of how you're each approaching these situations.
This is going to be kind of my default,
unless otherwise changed.
Tannhauser.
Yeah, Tannhauser is typically going to be looking
for, like, magic in events
where, like, it seems like magic could be,
like, a problem, like, here.
You know?
Okay.
This place is actually, like,
going to be a magical ruin.
Beyond that, though,
I think that he will either be
scouting up with Baldrick,
since he is also rather good at stealth,
or keeping a lookout,
since he now has a relatively good perception.
Okay.
So if you're detecting magic,
that's basically the, like,
exploration activity you'd have,
which would be casting
detect magic regular intervals,
and then, like, double-checking
to see if, like,
okay, that thing is clearly magical.
That thing is clear.
Oh, there's a magical trap there.
But you can also do, like,
regular investigation as part of that.
So perfect.
Okay, cool.
And Oren, what are you doing, my dude?
Basically, if anybody has any wounded conditions,
I want to be able to
at least treat wounds on them
as we're kind of traveling
to try to get rid of wounded conditions
the best I can.
And if everyone does not have
any wounded conditions,
he is going to be helping
with scouting
and or tracking little critters for food.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Wounded conditions.
Yeah, so your wounded conditions
should now be gone, Vali.
Oh, oh, those go away in the long run.
Yeah, those mark,
as soon as you get any kind of rest,
they'll pop away.
But I will, uh...
Got it.
Also, you're not prone
and flat-footed anymore,
so, you know, you're...
Oh, yes.
Now they're just dragging me around.
Yeah.
Uh...
It's been a ball.
Vali was actually, uh, gone
because Odo's playing Elden Ring,
so it's just a body.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
All right.
So, you carry on,
and based off of what you've all said
you're going to be doing by default,
I'm going to get a few checks here.
We won't need any stealth from you, Vali.
You're just able to kind of keep to the shadows
and look around,
but, um...
You know, you're staying hidden.
Uh, Rahua,
uh, I'll get a nature check from you
and Baldrick.
Uh, in your case,
what I would like for you to give me
is a engineering lore skill.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Hmm.
No bonuses, penalties?
No bonuses, no penalties.
And, Rahua, you get a 13, okay?
I get a 16.
I get a 16.
All right, so, uh, Rahua,
you're not seeing much in the way
of, like, unique plant or vegetation.
You're seeing some, like, standard moss here,
a few, like, clumps of dirt,
maybe some vines and whatnot,
but nothing, nothing out of the ordinary
that you would expect to see
in a subterranean area.
Um, it all looks pretty basic.
Now, Baldrick, what you're able to tell
as you're traveling, uh,
under Rahua's light,
you're able to identify that
you're, as you're traveling up this stair,
this stairway,
you're actually traveling through
several levels worth of architecture,
uh, representing different
outset periods.
So, like, you're guessing
that the area you were in
was several hundred,
if not more, years old.
Uh, you're getting closer and closer
as you ascend up these stairs
to a more traditional, uh,
outset style of architecture.
Like, prior to where you were,
you were in what was, like,
considered the pre-Prince era,
which was, like, pre-the coming
of the Prince to outset.
Now you've, you've passed
beyond that time period.
You're in more of,
more of, like, the common era,
uh, like the, the current era
of, of architecture.
Hmm.
Interesting.
So you're, you're seeing this
as you're, you're ascending up
these stairs.
Um, however,
as, as you, you reach towards, uh,
towards the top of this staircase,
you, you notice a series
of branching off paths,
and then a massive collapse
of just rubble and ruin.
Basically, the ceiling here
has completely fallen down,
blocking off access
to giant pillars,
probably some 30 feet in diameter,
have both crisscross fallen
on each other.
The entire area looks
fairly unstable,
but up ahead,
you do see
a light source
coming out of one
of the side passages here.
It is glowing, uh,
kind of orangish, uh, flame.
And it seems to be, like,
sparkling off the walls
in various, uh,
patterns of illumination.
Uh, seeing this,
Baldrick is going to get
close to the wall
and, like, inch around the corner,
having everyone not cross it
just yet.
Yeah, absolutely.
Uh, as you all, like,
like, approach Baldrick,
you kind of go up first.
You, you start hearing
this, like, thumping sound.
This thump, thump, thump.
Some kind of impact on stone.
The light seems to be
getting closer, uh,
more vibrant.
You just hear this thump, thump.
And then you kind of hear, like,
a dragging sound along with it,
like shh, thump, shh, thump.
Do I see anything, though?
Yeah, so as you,
as you poke your head,
uh, around the edge,
you do see something.
You see an ogroid creature
that's back is hunched over
and it's moving on its two legs,
but also its front forearms.
Um, you would recognize
this as something
common in Outset.
This is a type of servant undead
that the city uses,
known as a candle-backed.
It is a, again,
large ogre-ish creature,
um, that its back
is entirely filled
with candles
that provide this
glowing illumination.
Uh, the wax having dripped down
its, like, back,
and each, as it steps forward,
its fists are like
impromptu legs
in this bipedal form,
and it's just walking.
Thump, thump.
Um, without having to make a check,
because you're from here, Baldrick,
you know that candle-backed
are impromptu, uh,
light sources in Outset
because there are several areas
where it's impossible
to either afford magical,
uh, like,
permanent magical illumination
or having someone to go
and constantly redo torches.
Uh, there are these undead
that were created
at the time of the prince's arrival
in Outset
called candle-backed,
which, what they are
is they're mobile light sources,
and they'll go through, um,
dark areas of the city
because, again,
Outset is all, like,
interior for the most part
because it's buildings
built on top of buildings
built on top of buildings.
Um, these things
kind of walk
on pre-programmed paths.
They're like light buses
that citizens can come around
and use for illumination
as they're traveling.
Uh, given the state
of this one,
what's it looking like?
It's, it's looking
very pristine.
Um, and it looks like,
like, despite, like,
the, the undeadness
of its flesh
and the fact that
its face on it
is covered by a mask
that is not tarnished
or has been defaced
in any way,
you can tell that
this is probably
a candle-back
that hasn't seen,
um, like, seen,
seen people
in a long time.
Uh, this is a mindless
undead as well.
You would know that.
So it's not really
a threat right now.
It's not a watchdog.
It's just a light.
Yeah, for any other information,
like, that's what, like,
common citizens would know.
For any other information,
um, I'd, I'd need a,
I'd need a skill check,
like, a recall knowledge,
which, uh, for...
Yeah, uh, for all of you,
um, if you all
want to give me checks,
the checks that would be
pertinent here
would be religion
or society.
Society!
I throw up my own society
and I give you,
eh, it's a 14.
Really, rolling low today.
Yeah, okay.
I'll give you, uh, 22.
I'm not from outset, though,
so I don't know
what my DC would be.
Uh, that's a 19
from Tarnhauser.
Okay.
Um, so, I mean,
the bonus for, like,
Baldrick's information
would be what all,
all three of you
would know.
Volley, Tarnhauser,
you've probably had
some encounters
just in your short time
and outset.
Um,
you probably wouldn't know,
um, like,
how common they are,
whereas Baldrick knows
these are fairly common things.
Uh, however,
Volley and Tarnhauser,
with your skill checks,
uh, you would know
that these things
are safe to be around
as long as you
don't engage
in any hostile actions
near them.
Um, their programming
is, again,
they're mindless,
but they're programmed.
If a creature
damages another creature
in the illumination
of its candles,
the creature
that initiated
the attack
is automatically
treated as a hostile
by the candleback,
which goes to
brutally,
brutally murder them.
Ah.
Well,
they should be safe
to go out
so long as nobody
starts throwing
any punches.
Yeah.
And as you're saying this,
the candleback
continues its slow
plodding thump walk,
uh,
making its way
towards,
uh,
the opposite side passage.
So you're kind of
at this, like,
collapse in the walls,
uh,
where, like,
you know,
the main stairway
you've been taking,
clearly some kind of
arterial prime corridor
has collapsed.
This one emerges
out from a side corridor
and walks
to the opposite
side corridor.
Um,
now you know
that these things
are programmed
to go toward,
like,
basically programmed
along pre-
pre-destined paths,
so they,
they walk a set path,
but generally
they're supposed to be
to areas where,
you know,
civilization is,
so.
You would,
you would know
that these things
generally congregate
towards where people
are,
or at least
that's their,
their typical path.
Shall we follow
our waxy friend
back to the surface?
If it goes back
to the surface.
That is a good question.
He does look
pretty,
uh,
clean.
May as well.
Unless you want
to keep climbing.
No,
I'd rather follow
the wax monstrosity.
Strange to have them here.
They feel
out of place.
Hmm.
Might either be forgotten
or maybe it just
runs a long route.
Beggars can't be choosers.
Come on,
let's get going.
Less time we spend
down here,
the better.
All right.
Agreed.
So I think we'll,
we as a group
will be heading
towards the light
at the end
of the tunnel.
Yeah,
so the illumination
off of the,
the mound of candles
on this thing's back
is about 15 feet.
So you can actually
like stay pretty,
like pretty close
to this thing
as it trods
through these,
these tunnel hallways,
which are sized
just enough
to accommodate
its large scale bulk.
So it's sort of
leading the way
as it moves forward
on its implacable path.
You find yourselves
going through
side tunnels
that are
crisscrossing
and zigzagging.
It would be very easy
to get lost in here
without a guide.
And this thing
seems to be
directing you
through the halls here.
You would all know
from outset
one of the,
the main,
like,
one of the main
attractions
from outsiders
is that there are
delvers
that come into this,
this area,
the buried city,
and they explore here
and try to find
lost treasures
from old ages.
This area looks like
it has not been plumbed
in,
in recent times,
which makes it
pretty,
pretty interesting,
but you need
to escape
so you continue
to follow this thing.
It continues on
and you travel
for about
another hour
or so
following the
candle packs.
Strange path
as it takes turns
and walks up
and around
different,
like,
openings and paths,
eventually
stopping.
And when it does,
you can see that
in front of it
there is a pillar
that has collapsed
at a sideways angle
blocking the path.
It looks like
part of the wall
here has slightly
collapsed onto
its side,
leaving a path
that's, like,
basically like
a triangle
underneath the
collapsed pillar
that this thing
clearly could not
fit through.
And it stands there
motionless
for a while.
about 20 seconds
or so
before you realize
it's starting
to turn.
Okay,
I've had enough
of this garbage.
Baldrick is going
to, uh,
he's going to
kind of go around
the candle back
towards the blockage.
Yeah,
it, like,
walks by you,
like, again,
the thumping,
like,
it gives you
almost this
casual,
disturbing look
with its masked
face,
kind of leering
at you for a
moment before
it turns and
continues walking
away.
Yeah,
um,
so,
Thurston.
Yes?
I'm going to,
uh,
set explosives.
Yeah,
um,
so that would be
from your new
free archetype
that you got,
the Demolitionist,
correct?
Correct.
I have chosen
Demolitionist
because that is
the most feasible
and likely thing
here.
I've had enough
of being constantly
let around and
bumping into walls.
I'm going to
blow this thing
open.
Yeah,
okay.
Yeah,
when in doubt,
C4.
Very good,
very good,
I like it.
All right.
Dynamite in the,
in the enclosed cave?
Good idea.
I'm going to,
let's see where it goes.
I'm going to set it
and you're going
to leave.
Do you understand
how Demolition works?
You don't stand
around gawking at it.
I more mean that
it might bring
the,
the cave down
on us,
but,
uh,
every day's a new
adventure,
let's see it.
Bali,
please.
cool guys
don't look at
explosions.
Word.
Just imagine
Ruhua standing
watching the explosion.
He is not cool.
Yeah.
Tannhauser
sitting with his back
to it,
standing with his back
to it,
arms crossed,
just waiting.
All right,
Thurston,
so I need to have
one bomb ready
for this,
right?
Uh,
yeah,
so here,
let,
let's,
uh,
let us,
let's just pull up
your,
uh,
your demolition
dedication.
So,
um,
you have one or two
bombs in hand,
so you can
basically,
like,
you,
you know,
you might be
better off
attaching two bombs
because you can set
them,
the benefit of using
said explosive
is you can also
set them off
to go at the same
time,
and if you do,
it applies all
of their damage.
Yes.
So you would,
like,
put two on here,
which you think
two might be enough
to,
to break through
this,
uh,
this,
this.
What you're saying
is one won't be
enough.
One is iffy,
depends on what
the damage would be.
I could always set
another one,
though.
Yeah,
you could,
absolutely.
I'd rather,
I'd rather take the
chance on one and
just take a little
extra time and then
come back and try
again.
Absolutely.
Okay,
yeah.
So,
uh,
you attach the bombs
to an inanimate object
such as doorwall
or column,
bring it to detonate
at a set time,
maximum of one minute,
uh,
and it deals its damage
and splash damage
and ignores basically
like an appropriate
amount of hardness
equal to your level
as you,
like,
basically tag it on
to the exact place
where you know
you need to set it.
Would this rubble,
would this rubble
be dissolvable?
Like,
you're thinking acid?
Well,
since there are
concerns about me
using a high explosive
in such tight quarters,
perhaps it would be best
to use an acid flask
instead.
Uh,
fuck yeah,
that's,
that's,
yeah,
absolutely you could
set acid here.
All right,
who wants to drop acid?
Uh,
okay.
Me!
I will go ahead
and prep two moderate acid
flasks using my charges.
Okay.
I'll just have them
both in my inventory.
I'll use one for now
and see if that'll suffice.
Yeah,
let's,
uh,
let's go with that.
Putting that together.
Okay,
I am attaching
acid flask.
So,
I'm going to just
strike with acid flask,
correct?
Uh,
yeah,
so you don't roll
an attack roll,
you just would roll
damage in this,
in this case.
Okay,
so I'm going to attach
one to the wall
at presumably
the weakest point.
Would I be able
to roll anything else
perhaps for,
uh,
maybe trying to find
a good crevice
to lodge it in
that would deal
the most damage
to this blockage?
I'll let you
give me a lore
engineering check
absolutely
as you're like
looking over
all of this wreckage
and trying to figure
out a way
to,
to get through it.
Yeah.
I'll give you,
uh,
25.
Yeah,
that's awesome.
Um,
okay,
so that,
that will grant
you a bonus
on,
uh,
like,
basically ignoring
further hardness.
So I'm going to get
you to roll
the damage
on that acid flask,
which I think
the moderate acid flask,
because it's mostly
persistent damage,
uh,
is,
let's see here.
I'm just going to
double check
what the,
uh,
the damage is
on that moderate
acid flask.
That is
2d6 persistent
acid damage,
and you're going
to use one of these.
So it's going to do
two damage initially,
and then what we're
going to do is
we're going to do
a little game here,
and you're going to
roll me 2d6 acid damage.
Okay.
Slash R,
2d6.
Yeah.
So Baldrick hooks
up the bomb,
and he's got,
like,
a pull wire
attached to it,
and he's like,
all right,
bag it up,
bag it up.
And the Tenhauser
and them are waiting
for an explosion,
and instead there's
this,
like this
dissolving sound.
Any second now.
Poop.
Seven.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
While he's doing that,
Oren's going to be
looking at the,
looking at Baldrick
doing the entire thing
as Tenhauser's
looking awake,
going like,
wow,
yeah,
there's going to be
a really big explosion,
Tenhauser.
Can you roll me 2d6
again?
That's going to be
so cool.
Oh,
ten damage.
It's going to be
so awesome.
Oh,
roll me 2d6 again.
Holy shit.
All right,
so there's, like,
this, like,
hissing sound
as, like,
very clearly,
like,
the acid has just
melted through
this entire section
of stone
rather than,
and just because,
oh,
sorry,
just because of
your tactical placement,
you essentially
melt enough
to admit passage
and carrying on
down the hull,
but, like,
it doesn't collapse,
there's no explosion,
you just basically
acid a big hole
into it
that you can now
pass through.
When it's done,
Oren immediately goes,
whoa,
that's such a cool explosion,
and, like,
looks at Tenhauser.
Good job, Baldrick!
He starts walking out,
that was a big explosion,
I'm glad I got to see it.
Baldrick is just,
like,
wiping his hands,
and he looks at Oren like,
uh,
you,
you bullshitting me
right now?
Nah,
that was real cool,
let's go,
and he goes through the hall.
I didn't even write.
Is this,
is this a humor,
is this a joke,
I don't understand what,
there was no explosion.
I think the kids just,
deranged.
It's fine.
Aren't we all deranged?
I just assumed it was because
he smoked weed.
I don't,
we're not.
I don't know if that causes
derangement,
at least not by itself.
I've been on fire multiple times.
I once agree,
literally,
no one else would have
to smoke up Tenhauser's.
And Tenhauser's just standing there,
like,
woefully staring,
still waiting for the explosion.
Tenhauser is at this point,
turned around,
and has been like,
yeah,
wasn't that cool?
I've had.
Listen,
you,
you,
what was all that nonsense about,
oh,
you need to be much more active
in regards to the,
this is how I do things.
Not everything needs a damn explosion.
Most things need an explosion.
This is the origin story
for Tenhauser learning fireball.
I don't want to do something boring like that.
I want to make things explode.
Here we go.
All right.
So,
so,
so as Oren passes,
like,
underneath the,
the breach,
and like,
where who has light is giving illumination to all of you
because he has the light spell up.
Oren,
you see up ahead,
there is actually light emerging,
and it looks to be like some kind of natural light.
The,
the illumination you might expect from the,
uh,
more open areas of the,
the sinkhole district.
Hey guys,
I think we made it.
Oh,
the surface.
Finally.
Ah,
now the true work can begin.
The true work of getting paid.
That is part of it,
yes.
Or remember,
you were paid in advance.
Oh,
we were paid in advance.
That's right.
Ten hours are just once more.
We've got to go back and ask for hazard pay.
Let's go shake her down for her lunch money.
Wow.
All right.
Baldrick's going to hold up his hands at that point.
Look,
that was quite obviously a plan to try and get rid of
one or more of us.
And to be honest with you,
at this point,
you guys are probably better off on your own.
I'll be seeing you around probably.
If not,
don't get past.
Hold on just a minute, buddy.
Where do you think you're going?
Uh,
out.
We're like a crew now.
You walk out into the,
the illumination,
having exited the,
the,
like the tunnel now out into what is clearly like a cluster of streets.
Ah,
well,
I think
that we should reconvene at your house,
Baldrick.
And then afterward,
we're going to take the money that we would be,
that we have been paid.
And we're going to go to the bar.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on a second.
That opening invitation was because we had all just gotten out of the fighting pit.
now that we are here,
I have business to attend to.
So if you don't mind,
I would like to go and handle that business with,
without you.
We just got a,
we just got out of some horrible hell dungeon connected to the primordial powers.
And you think that's less deserving of another trip to your house than getting out of jail.
Come on.
You saw what happened down there.
We've been chosen by the powers that be.
And you're just going to what?
Go back to your house and put some fluids in jars and call it a day.
Oh no,
no,
no,
no.
We're celebrating.
We're heroes.
We're chosen ones.
If I'll just use the word chosen one around me one more time,
I'm smoke bombing out of here.
We are not.
We as a group,
you,
them,
the,
the Conrasu fellow over there,
the bird driving here,
you are all the chosen one.
I have business to attend to,
and I have a government to destabilize.
So if you don't mind,
I'd like to do that on my own time,
which as started,
he will look at his wrist as though looking at a watch,
which he clearly lost some time ago.
Now.
So if you don't mind.
Oh,
so you're going to do it by yourself.
Cross my arms.
As I always have.
Okay.
And,
uh,
you're a big math brained,
big head genius,
right?
So let's do some math together.
Wow.
Is it more efficient to start taking down the government with one person or with five?
Okay.
I'm going to tabulate everything wrong with that statement.
Now one bird druid,
no offense,
Orin,
you're probably a wonderful young man.
I want to point out you're a druid.
And as far as I can tell,
you kind of blundered into this situation.
Wow.
Classist.
Kanrasu.
I don't even know why Rahua is here.
I don't even know who Rahua is.
And Rahua is going to now take this opportunity to explain himself now that I have postured such a question.
He looks at Rahua expectantly.
Hello.
Yes,
I am Rahua.
Precisely.
Three.
We have a revolutionary over there.
He points at Tannhauser.
He is far more fiery and vitriolic and is terrible for my cover.
I can't have,
I can't have my operation being blown out of the water by some guy doing theatrics.
And four,
pirate.
Pirate well known.
Pirate well known in airship.
Probably wanted by many people.
Again,
kind of ruins my cover.
Wanted by everyone,
baby.
But listen.
Listen.
Listen.
You make some good points.
But here's my counterpoint.
If your operation was working so well by yourself,
why did we all meet in jail?
I have been in that jail so many times.
I have gotten out the exact same amount of times as I've been in it.
I already am thankful you got me out of that situation,
but I assure you,
were it not for the fact that they had decided to throw us at a whole bunch of animals,
I would have probably just blown through the floor like last time.
Or through the wall.
Or through the ceiling like that one time.
Never,
never through the corner,
by the way.
Don't do that.
That's a structural integrity issue.
You'll bring the whole place down on your head.
So if you've been in jail in the future and you want to get out,
don't go through the corner.
Side,
ceiling,
and floor.
Noted.
But,
look,
you're all probably nice folk.
You don't want to be around me.
That is the other issue.
Okay?
So I'm just gonna...
He's starting to back away at this point,
holding up his hands.
I'm just...
Chime in.
Gonna take care of this.
Rahul,
let's put his hands together and be like,
But,
Baldrick,
we do want to be around you.
Or,
at the very least,
I would like to be around you.
This world,
as you have no doubt seen,
is stagnant.
You,
I see,
is an agent of change,
and all timelines converge on us.
Moving forward,
this rot runs deep,
and I appreciate your methods,
even if you do not appreciate my own.
I would like to remain in your companionship,
if only so that we may see this prophecy through.
Now that Rahua has said prophecy,
GM,
may I quickly roll a smokestick?
Yeah,
absolutely.
No.
Okay,
I'm going to,
uh,
he's gonna quickly whip together a couple things.
Check.
Oh,
for you're a dickweed.
I'm giving you a big bonus to this.
I'm giving you a stealth away.
I'm just gonna throw it on the ground and stand still.
Roll a natural one.
All right,
what are my bonuses?
I'll give you a plus four bonus to your stealth.
Swear to God.
I'm gonna go ahead.
Circumstance bonus,
stealth,
go.
Uh,
20.
30,
20.
Yeah,
yeah,
there you go.
20.
All right,
there is a pop of smoke
as all of you stand out in the middle of the street
and,
and like you all sort of like inhale these alchemical fumes briefly
as,
as the shadow of Baldrick disappears within the mist.
I said nothing about God's prophecies are chosen.
And you hear the sounds of like,
I would like,
it's like,
I would like to make a,
I would like to make a,
I would like to make a narrative declaration.
Okay.
I was like,
don't worry,
I'm not,
I'm not like keeping you in or something,
but I'll actually spend the point.
I've got one too.
Oh no,
what's your narrative declaration?
I'm actually going to,
um,
take advantage,
it,
we kind of argue the point of my stormborne feet.
Uh,
so basically cause cause I went for the,
uh,
kind of storm druid route,
uh,
for first level.
And basically it says like,
like,
uh,
you do not take service as penalties and range attacks or perception checks,
so the dove and weather effects like fogs and stuff like that.
Well,
I demand a declaration to where Oren would like to kind of pick up what he's
doing.
And obviously seeing him crash is like,
okay,
it looks like he wants to escape,
but Oren really wants to ask Baldrick some questions that he's been wanting to
ask him for a while.
So as,
so Oren wants to also take advantage of the smokestack and since he's a druid
who's really good at like tracking things and hunting things and stuff,
be able to follow him.
And while Baldrick thinks he's safe,
I want Oren to be to the side of him and going like Mr.
Baldrick,
what the hell?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Like we cut to the alley,
Rahua,
Volley and Tannhauser have completely lost track of Baldrick,
but in the alley as Baldrick like cool man walks away or it is just there.
Like Mr. Baldrick.
He's walking along and Oren is to his right and he's just like,
Hey,
so what's that?
I was like,
what the hell?
Sorry to startle you,
Mr. Baldrick,
but look,
I understand.
One thing we learn in the mountains is not to keep a fledgling in the nest for too long
and I respect that you have things that you want to accomplish and respect the solo acts,
but I just want to know if there's any way we can still hold contact with each other
because you see,
I came to this town and look for a good friend of mine.
He's really big with really giant wings and he's,
you know,
he's very ferocious to other people,
but he's very kind to us.
And if you find any information about him,
could you please let me know?
And I wish I had another narrow declaration because I wanted like the bullshit item,
but I didn't get to clear that out with you.
But he's like,
he's like,
at least like to,
I mean,
very hard to miss,
but I'd like you to at least let me know if you find anything.
He looks like this.
And Oren's going to hand him the shittiest crayon drawing you've ever seen of like a fucking,
like,
of like a,
of like a white dragon or whatever.
I just like,
it's just,
it's just garbage.
But you know it is if you look at it at a certain angle,
but he's just going to hand it to him and go like,
that's kind of what he looks like.
And basically a couple of poachers took him and like me and the people who were with me
are tracking him down.
So if you could find him at all,
I'd,
you know,
hear anything about him.
I appreciate it.
Baldrick is like,
he's got his fingers in between the slot of his helmet and is pinching the bridge of his nose so hard.
And look,
all right,
fine.
You know where I live.
You all know where I live.
I can't keep you away.
But if you come at my door and more people fall,
there's going to be trouble.
If you want me to give information to you,
I'll keep an eye out for this.
Baldrick holds up the paper and looks at the crayon drawing.
He needs Gorgamunger.
Yeah,
that guy.
I'll keep an eye out.
If I'm in and out of the system,
he'll probably be somewhere in there.
I'll keep an eye out.
I can't promise anything.
And the more space you put between yourself and me,
the better.
Okay?
For both of us.
Okay.
Well,
it was an absolute pleasure meeting you,
Mr. Baldrick.
You've been one of the nicest people I've met in the city so far.
All right.
And then he leaves.
Get going.
Get going.
Baldrick is now going to hurry away because the green wave will make me the green wave help you.
And then just disappears at the remaining smoke.
Druids.
Yeah.
And we cut back to to Volley,
Ruhua and Tannhauser,
who like are just seeing the final bits of the alchemical smoke disappear.
And out just walks Oren.
What an infantile reactionary.
No respect for praxis.
The smoke disappears.
I think you just start dropping words.
The smoke disappears and Oren is there.
He turned into Oren.
How dare he?
I start strangling Oren.
How dare you leave us?
Oh, no, that's just Oren.
Oh, it's just Oren.
I draw them.
Lays do that, man.
I was very emotional.
We need to hurt your anger.
You should have a lot of anger problems.
I do.
I don't have anger problems.
I have anger solutions.
It's what a psychopath would say.
They'd say suffice.
Animal cruelty.
And like as you're as you're having this go on,
you just hear these like these mutters coming up from the alley,
the opposite alley that Baldrick took to depart.
Oh, hello, hello, hello, friends.
And as you hear the clinking of armored joints and the armored form of Sir Cronch of Legibet
merges, though this time his armor is brutally burned.
And it appears as though his impeccable shield has a few dents and dings along the edges
and is scorched on the front.
But he comes and rests his blacksmith hammer down on the ground
and somewhat collapses beside the building.
Oh, oh my.
Oh, God.
You appear to have survived.
Oh, Cronch.
I thought you fell.
I, I, I, oh, that was so about a day ago.
I, oh.
What happened to you?
Oh, that, that felon creature, that, that elemental monstrosity.
I, I saw it as the building collapsed.
I assumed it was responsible for your tumble.
And I, I, the owner of Legibet required that I follow it and slay it.
We had a, a fierce battle and, oh, well, I've been chasing it down ever since.
I thought I'd got it cornered into an alley around here.
But, oh, oh, oh, I appear to have, uh, tuckered myself out a bit, oh.
Uh, provide aid to our fellow proletarian.
You say all these words that I don't understand.
Do you understand these words either?
Most of them, yes.
Well, I, uh, I was, uh, going to, I suppose, travel to the, to the local, the local menick.
I, I, I, I require some, some, perhaps longer term mending, oh, some divine magic.
Oh, don't worry.
I could, I can assist you with that.
Which, are who will, as he has done, Splay his vines out of his arms, wraps them around Crunch.
What, very tightly.
Who knew I've seen it when I was...
Oh no.
Oh no.
Kill, kill.
I kill him man.
Hentai is now canon in the world of Rotgrind.
They emerged in his ruin.
Are we bringing it up?
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker D, sir.
Sir, I distinctly remember the chainsaw car coming out of your mouth.
That is something you would totally see in, I mean, Rotgrind.
Are you kidding me? Do you even do chalice dungeons?
Come on, bro.
I was run over by a chainsaw car in Elden Ring.
A chainsaw car over my house.
The funny Garrettmobile.
Listen, you just turn a corner in this city and you'll run head to head
with the Caligula decapitation machine.
You don't know what the fuck's waiting for you out here.
I can't.
That's true.
All right, so continue.
Continue the tentacles, please.
Yes.
No, just heal him.
That's what I'm trying to do is heal him, but we're on chainsaw car.
There are no chainsaw carts in Rotgrind.
Not yet, anyway.
I would like to heal.
There's exactly the chainsaw cart in Rotgrind.
Yeah, yeah.
Give me your battle medicine.
Furiously makes notes.
24.
Oh, okay.
So that is enough to succeed.
You don't have any plants or anything, so you don't get the coolio bonus, but that's enough
for you to do a regular treat wounds.
So, um, yeah, I'll, uh, 2d8 hit points back.
Roll 2d8 for me.
2d8?
Oh.
Oh, nice.
11.
11.
Oh, 11.
11.
11.
Okay, yeah, so, so you, like, tend him is, oh, well, so, very, uh, oof, I didn't quite
realize you were quite so skilled.
Oh, well, and he sort of, like, gets back up and, like, you hear the clinking of the armor.
Oh, well, very, very good, uh, but you, you must tell me what happened to all of you.
I'm, I'm very interested.
I look like you, you fell into that, uh, accursed pit.
Did, did perhaps, um, you, your, your winged friend managed to, to swift you away to safety,
he says, like, motioning with his, his, um, like, mace or his blacksmith hammer as though,
like, a flying creature.
Oh, no.
Orin weighs, like, 20 pounds soaking wet.
I don't think he could carry all of us.
Orin looks at his noodle-ass arms.
No, we fell into, um, some ruins, a cave.
It's hard to describe exactly what, but we fought an elemental of our own and flawlessly beat it.
An elemental creature?
What type of creature did you, did you pass down there?
I, I, I must-
I must-
He was, uh, uh, a giant four-armed rotting zombie creature holding a big basin of water.
He tried to hit me with the basin, but I was far too fast.
Rot?
As in the rot?
The rot, yes.
Ooh.
And he, like, kind of almost instinctively takes a step back from you as you say that.
He did.
I think you're all right.
Yes, positive.
We were able to purify the temple beneath.
Yes, indeed.
Overcome. Did it strike you?
We were struck, but not by the eruption of the rot.
More with a large
big metal object.
Try to make a soup.
Not me, though.
As we, like, cut back to literally the scene of the basin,
like, hurtling rot on all of you, especially Dan Houser.
Oh, I have a selective memory.
I deleted my failures long ago.
Yes, you must have imagined that didn't happen.
I
perhaps we should
we should we should get you checked out by a professional.
Just just to be sure we wouldn't want any sorts of
infection spreading in the city.
Oh, I checked him.
He's OK.
I know someone.
One of the street healers, they run a shop nearby.
I could I could take you there.
We could all get checked out together.
Hmm.
We might as well.
I will admit I don't know a lot about how the rot works, but I feel fit as a fiddle.
No, I think this is a grand idea.
I'm always up for community outreach.
Yes, very, very good.
Um, hmm, yes.
Well, follow me.
I'll lead the way.
I crunched a little bit like stands up tall, kind of like hefts the shield a bit.
All right.
Are you still holding on to that mace, by the way?
Correct.
Now wrapped in vines.
That's new.
Oh, yes.
Might I?
Might I?
Take a take a take a look at that.
Good good friend.
Sure.
The vines will unfurl and unravel around it so he can hold it.
Or I don't know what he wants.
Expertly crafted.
And he sort of like puts his hammer in the back of his shield into a slot for it and
like uses his other hand to sort of like look at the weapon.
Inlaid runes.
Oh, oh, oh, quite, quite good.
I see what they did here with these.
Are you planning on keeping it on this or are you going to be transferring these off to
a more personal weapon?
Possibly the latter.
I haven't yet deemed all of their functions.
Well, should you require, I am skilled in the arts of blacksmithing, as is the do of
those wandering blacksmith warriors of legend.
He sort of like stamps the shield down as he hands it back to you.
I can I can forge anything given the right resources and materials.
Assuming I had a proper forge, I can do battlefield repair on the field of battle with this shield.
But if you are interested and would like to have your arms and armaments enhanced, I could
certainly be of assistance with that.
Hmm.
I think that sounds like a lovely idea.
You would also know that that essence you retrieved, the one that like could give you swimming or
resistance to water creatures, that is something that could be effectively like forged onto a piece
of equipment by someone trained, such as Crotch.
What Crotch is saying here?
Hmm.
Yes, we found other runes that perhaps we could have your aid in forging.
I would be most, most willing to, to lend assistance to fellow champions of order.
I, I saw what you did there after those ruffians left and then that strange bellied creature came.
Oh, but I tried for the honor of legend to fight them.
Agents of order.
Totally.
Yes.
Ah, yes.
Coming up on the, on the place right here.
Here we are.
Ah, it's, it's very early in the morning, which means that there should be some, some, some
available checkings on.
And like, you come to the series of, of like wooden buildings, because again, this, the area
by the sinkhole isn't as, as well developed with a stone structure, so there are still
many of them.
Um, and what you find as you approach is, um, it's like stand, stand alone buildings that
are, that are mostly like wood or, you know, hobbled together construction.
This one is, is a series of wooden buildings that are built into a section of town, um,
adjoining several like stone structures.
And as you pass by these wood buildings, Crunch turns and he takes you to a series of like
three stone structures, very simple, uh, with curved, uh, curved ceilings.
And there is a, a small sign on top of it that says, um, medical professional.
And it has a small symbol, uh, which any of you who are trained in religion would immediately
recognize as the symbol of the deity of the bishop.
I'm Nat.
Well, uh, come, come this way.
I'll, I'll take you in and we'll have to, to get checked out.
Uh, and Crunch sort of leads the way, opening the door, um, and you're assailed by the smell
of light incense as you enter the area.
It's a, it's a like single floor that has been spaced off with curtains.
And you can see around that there are like various like seats and benches.
Uh, there's, uh, there's no one in the waiting area as you enter, uh, but you do hear some
like shuffling from the back as you, uh, hello, hello, uh, we're, we're here to get, to get
looked at, uh, a bit of a rough and tumble for me and some of my friends.
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.
Um, and emerging out from the back is a, a squat figure who has their hair done back
in a ponytail, is wearing a mask across their face, having a leather jacket and some, some
medical clothing.
They seem to have a band of beer of various alchemical substances and are holding what
appears to be like a, a needle, um, stern faced looking up as you, as you all approach.
This, this woman is clearly a dwarf and she just looks over all of you now.
Token.
And with her free hand, she points to a, a bin that is like, no, not a bin.
And I guess it's like a, a plate that is suspended by, by some twine that has been filled with
various objects.
You can see that there are in, in the plate, uh, coins, uh, ranging from silver to copper,
uh, some like pieces of wood, uh, what appears to be some silverware, a few strange, like cheap
cracked gems and like the partially eaten drumstick of, of, of a chicken-like creature.
Tokens?
Token.
Care to explain?
Awkward.
Token.
You give a token for medical assistance.
Give a token, uh, uh, okay.
I'm going to like search around on my person for just like some miscellanea.
I'm going to like.
Orrin offers a coin.
Okay.
Yes.
Like what kind of coin?
A gold coin.
Okay.
Hey, would this work?
Oh, yes, yes, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course.
And like, Crunch comes and like, it's very clear Crunch is about to put a silver in,
but you put a gold and he like quickly retracts his hand and pulls out a gold coin.
Ted, how's it?
Not to be outdone by you, Orrin.
Doing the same thing.
Also had a silver coin.
Yeah.
Yes.
For the mutual aid fund.
Oh, well, I didn't know she wanted money.
I thought she wanted things.
There's a drumstick in here.
Okay.
I'm going to put a gold in.
Rahula, are you putting in a token?
Rahula doesn't necessarily need healing, but he'll break off just a twig.
He breaks his arm off.
Have a finger.
Yes, my big fucking arm.
Holy shit, that's metal.
That's awesome.
Yeah, like a crab.
Uh, yeah.
Okay.
So, so you place this like wooden thing and she's like, this woman looks over all of this.
Are you new here?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
How can you tell?
Because you're going to get mugged.
Oh, they can try, darling.
Last time someone tried to mug me, I ate them.
What?
What?
What?
What?
Crotch turns as well.
What?
What?
Hold on.
Who tried to mug you?
Oh, there's some.
How did you eat them?
Oh, well, I was trying to mind my own business when I first entered town and I kept trying
to find some things to eat.
And then while I was trying to enjoy my muffin in the alleyway, some guys jumped me in some
weird looking outfits.
So I transformed into a bear and I ate them.
Oh, that's pretty dope, actually.
Cannibalism is more socially acceptable.
Then I got arrested.
This dwarf like, like brushes up to you and like takes a gloved hand and immediately puts
it on your left eye, trying to widen your eye.
I can see fine.
Dilated.
You're not having some kind of narcotic induced event.
She holds out like a small alchemical with a light which she shines in your eye.
Can you hear my voice fine?
Absolutely.
Great.
Why are you all here?
Because we just finished fighting a giant monster in the ruins beneath and we wanted to
make sure that we didn't get any of that rot business.
Oh, by the nine.
Oh, you're, you're Delphers.
Well, no, I was fighting an elemental cat creature.
You were fighting a cat?
I said feline creature, ma'am.
I was very descriptive.
I thought.
The big man gave us plenty of bad soup and nobody liked it.
I didn't.
It was bad.
It was very bad soup.
All right.
Sit down right in those chairs.
Sit down now.
Of course.
Oren politely sits on a stool.
Don't you want to hear more about the soup?
Ah, fine.
I have one person that I'm finishing my inspection of and then I will get back to you.
Okay.
Oren reads a magazine while he waits.
Yeah, like reaches down like outset times and like very clearly goes like she's like this.
This woman who hasn't even introduced herself goes and like pushes back one of the curtains
revealing Baldrick sitting there.
Oh, well, well, if it isn't Baldrick.
Terrific.
So, um, do you want to continue that conversation we were having?
Not particularly.
And on that note, let's take our break right then.
All right, go ahead, Chad, get some snacks and everything.
We'll be right back.
Yeah, we're going to eat apples.
Apples.
Apples.
And I'm going to take the doctor away.
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And we're back.
We're stuck in the house reading newspapers while we wait at the rod office because we got the clap.
No!
No, no, we didn't get the clap.
We got clapped.
What?
I, uh...
Sure, damn it, Zoran.
Can we get Zoran out of his own game?
Yeah, yeah.
Fuck.
I'm sick of Zoran.
We're taking over this channel.
We're squeezing the memes of production.
That's amazing.
Oh, gosh.
Okay, um, after that lovely whatever the fuck note, um, Baldrick, uh, so you're sitting,
uh, you would come to, um, to meet with this lovely NPC who you recognize or know as a, um,
a divine servant of the deity known as the Bishop, the god of healing, uh, and truth.
And you know that this is Cousin Ginebrin is her name, and she runs a small medical
practitioner in the Pons-Polaster district near the sinkhole.
Uh, so you knew to come here to, uh, to check it out and had the common sense of getting
medically checked out because you would come into contact with the rot.
Uh, you would also know, Baldrick, uh, after a discussion that I had with one, uh, Urndale who made
me think about this, uh, you know that Outset's, um, healthcare system, uh, basically revolves around
two types of medical clinics.
There are alchemical clinics, and then there are more divine magical clinics.
Uh, the divine magical clinics are often the better way to go, especially when you're dealing
with esoteric stuff, but because they are dependent on spell casters, typically the, the free healthcare
offered by these establishments runs out well before noon in most cases, leaving the alchemical
hospitals and whatnot with massive weights and lines.
So you would come here, yeah, based on the time of day to get checked out, uh, probably having
encountered Cousin Ginebrin once or twice before, uh, just through your, your journeys in the city.
Yes, Zoran.
Does the vine church healing require insurance?
Uh, so anyone who is a citizen of Outset and pays their taxes gets, gets, gets healthcare.
And so anyone who's in Outset gets healthcare as a result of people paying their taxes.
Someone goes up to Vali.
Why did you kill President Kimball?
He tried to make me pay taxes.
Understandable.
Understandable, Mark.
Uh, so yeah, you'd come.
Cousin Ginebrin was just at the, the point of, uh, of checking you out, having like gone
over you with, with some of her, some of her more mundane and then also some of her magical
abilities.
Uh, it's very clear.
She's like partly talented as an alchemist, which is probably some common ground, but you
would know her as a very, uh, no nonsense person, Baldrick.
Uh, cousin Ginebrin is frank and to the point and often doesn't care about people's feelings.
Okay.
So I'm assuming I'm on the tail end of my checkup at this point.
Yeah.
Well, it doesn't look like you have any lingering problems with rot.
You said you were encountering with some creature of it.
Large one and four others and smaller ones besides, but yes.
I see.
All right.
Well, I'll need you to stay here while I check you.
Those are the companions you spoke of earlier.
Yeah, I was just.
All right.
You can go sit there and wait till I finish checking them out too.
I see.
Yes, you do through that helmet of yours.
Go sit.
Keep it up and I won't pay you for silence this time.
That's why the government pays me.
Next.
Orin goes up next here.
Oh, never mind.
Oh, sorry.
All right.
Just no, no.
Go ahead.
Too slow.
No, Orin's up.
Too slow.
Orin's up.
All right.
The one with the head trauma.
All right.
Lie down.
Trauma.
It's not trauma.
What the fuck, man?
Lie down.
Orin, uh,
on my front, on my back.
On your back.
How does that work with your wings?
Whatever.
I'm sure.
Just all awkward.
Feathers are everywhere.
Feathers are everywhere.
There you go.
Right.
All right.
Have you had any encounters with the rut before?
Yeah.
Where?
Here.
And then I had an encounter with it again just recently after that.
Okay.
Okay.
What was the first encounter you had with it?
Uh, well, first there was these sliding glob thingies, which are all little gross things.
So that was the most recent before time.
And then the after time of that one was a big thing with a giant cauldron that just smacked my friends.
I definitely dodged it.
Great.
Good.
Right.
And did you take any open wounds or sores during that encounter?
Nah, I never got hit.
Easy.
Right.
All right.
Well, magically you're looking fine.
No wounds.
And she's like performing like checks on you during this.
I'm going to take some of your blood.
Injects you with a needle.
I like that.
No, no.
You're like, I flutter away.
No, you'll get into that.
I got that.
Thank you.
Puts it in a little petri dish.
All right.
Who's next?
Oh, the wood one can be last.
Mouth boy here.
Who is mouth boy.
I think you're mouth boy.
Mouth boy.
I'm mouth boy.
I suppose I'm mouth boy.
And I'll just resign to this nickname.
Code to the doctor.
Mouth boy.
When I sit down, I want to show Bodrick my, my, my boo-boo.
She didn't put a stick.
She didn't put him like a Band-Aid or get me a lollipop or anything.
Yeah.
I'll try to move two more seats away.
Like, are you like literally just the widest space between you and the rest of the group?
Yes.
Towards the war.
It's alone, sad.
I'm going to sit right next to Baldrick.
So Baldrick, you survived as well.
Oh, it's so good to see you.
Yeah.
Same to you, pal.
Bali, if you get any closer, you're liable to be breaching my personal space.
Personal space.
Yes.
Yes, personal space.
I'm going to lean in a little closer.
This personal space.
I can attach explosives to things.
Yeah, you are a thing.
Oh, I can put a hand on my chest.
I am so much more than a thing, Baldrick.
I am so much more than a thing, Baldrick.
Um, we got all that in a brand.
All right.
What was your first encounter with the rot?
Was it this?
We encountered a large bear in a prison.
It had been infected by the rot and the government was using it to kill prisoners.
Oh, the dank bear.
Yes, the dank bear.
You're familiar.
I forgot about the bear.
Pauses.
Dank bear is not really rot infested.
It's more of a rot aftermath.
Whatever it is, it's now past tense.
Well, that's all Martinet Cardoza.
Not my problem.
All right.
Let's see here.
And, uh, you put the things in the, the, the buried city.
Yes.
The buried city.
All right.
Did you get hit?
Yes.
Did the rot touch you or touch your skin at all?
I don't have much skin, but the rot did touch me.
All right.
It's time to, you know, all right.
I'm going to take some blood.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Okay.
So there is no, no way to take blood in my hands or my chest.
Does it take it off the shirt?
There's this, um, uh, not quite like, uh, the con roster of course, but this just
gleaming scintillating light at the very center, just underneath some
different chest plates and wires.
Only place they could really take a blood would be my head or perhaps my spine.
All right.
I'm going to put this.
I'm going to put this in the side of your head.
Is that safe?
Nope.
There's the blood.
All right.
Go sit.
All right.
Next up.
Floof girl.
Oh, I like that one.
I'm going to walk on over.
Hi.
Hi.
She's grumbled.
Why am I a mouth boy?
I swear.
Right.
Uh, first, first encounter with the rot.
Uh, first encounter with the rot was today, actually.
All right.
Good.
And, uh, did it hurt you or, uh, damage you at all?
Break skin.
Um, I'm always going to think about it real hard.
Think about bullshitting and be like, oh, I am so fast and so beautiful.
And I dodged it.
Then I'm going to think about all my broken ribs and be like, no, it hit me.
Oh, I see.
Have you felt lightheaded or tingly at all?
No.
I believe I had a bit of internal bleeding, but that's where the blood's supposed to be.
All right.
Speaking of blood, I'm going to take some of that blood.
Uh, uh, can I have it back?
No.
Okay.
Injects you.
Takes out some blood.
Injects you.
All right.
That'll be all.
Uh, that's it?
Your tree friend.
Oh.
Oh.
Ru'a.
You're referring to me.
Ru'a will lumber up towards her.
Before, before he goes out, Ornn's going to just skitter up to Ru'a, going,
And I'm like, Ru'a.
That'll take your stuff.
They took my stuff.
See, Shou's arm.
That is your arm, yes?
Look, they took a bit out of there.
I don't see anything.
Don't let them take your bits.
I will keep this in mind and not let her take my bits.
Good.
Is it like Sap?
Question.
Can I, can I watch?
Sit down.
If you would like.
Okay.
Sit down and watch.
You know, I should.
All right.
You're a tree.
Well, not quite.
I'm actually a Konrasu, as I'm told.
Do you have skin?
Skin?
No, just bark.
Do you have blood?
I don't believe so.
Do you have fundamental essence that can leak out of you and thus the bleeding condition can apply to you?
Yes.
Sure.
I believe so.
Just stick that horrible, dirty needle wherever you see fit.
I don't feel pain.
All right.
And like she aims it directly for the like black orb of anarchic energy that is Rahua.
Um, is Rahua like okay with being poked or is like the orb like trying to dodge the needle?
I actually, I don't know because I, that's something I don't necessarily know.
If it will just be like, I say you have control over your orb self to a degree.
Basically, I'm just asking you, just is Rahua like, okay, stick, stick me in the orb with the needle or it's like,
Stick me in the orb.
Stick me in the orb.
Ponder your orbs.
Right in the orb.
Upon a brief pondering, I don't think, I think Rahua has enough trust in this
medicine woman to let her try and poke the orb.
Whether or not she will be successful is...
Well, I don't know.
Let's just see if she can do it.
Okay.
Okay.
Also help you maybe adjust like the connection port your pop bit.
There we go.
Yeah, you're making me get a little pop pop.
I don't know why she's making pop pop sounds.
She manages to little poke poke into your...
Dealing 27 damage.
No, that was her medicine check, which she succeeds and manages to extract a bit of your
fundamental fluid, taking it out, looking at it, placing it in the Petri dish.
All right, go sit down.
Can I make a narrative declaration?
Yeah.
Yes, of course you can.
What would you like to narratively declare, my friend?
Upon retrieving some sort of primordial essence from my core,
the end of the syringe begins to wither and dilapidate as if it's aging in accelerated time.
Rusting.
Oh, that's no good.
More than rusting.
And then it like also, I will say, like, turns into some other matter.
Just like rusts and then somehow turns into like brass instead of silver.
Oh, huh.
Right.
I like this syringe.
Oh, well.
Okay.
Uh, Crunch.
Oh, yes, yes, of course.
Yes, yes, yes.
All right.
And like, Crunch sits down and the curtain clearly is just pulled over.
So when Crunch removes their helmet, like, you don't see it at all.
You don't see Crunch's face at all.
First encounter with a rot.
Yes, I dare say it was dangerous.
A dangerous assignment.
Could have been much worse.
You're poking me.
Oh, for the honor of legend, I endure this torment.
Oh, the blood, it's coming out for me.
Oh, good.
Uh, can I roll a stealth to leave?
Uh, yeah, absolutely.
Uh, I'm going to carefully place
uh, a coin on the little thing for Guinea's silence, as he previously alluded.
Uh, and now he is going to stealth away.
Yeah, absolutely.
Uh, 15.
Can Arn perceive him?
Yeah, I was about to say, anyone who would like to make opposed perception checks.
I would as well.
Here's my perception check.
Arn got a 25.
All right.
So, um, everyone notices Baldrick moving.
Orin, you like see him like just as he's about to make the break for it.
Orin locks eyes with Baldrick and just stares at him the entire time.
And then Orin's going to be like, just slowly nod and then looks away.
Baldrick will nod back.
And you sliding out.
And as, as you like slide out the door, you just hear, uh, Cousin Ginoburn's voice.
All right.
I have some bad news.
As the door closes behind you, Baldrick.
Good enough for me.
All right.
Give it to me straight, doc.
I'll mute it indefinitely.
So I don't know.
Okay, sure.
Did he, did he, did he?
Yeah, all right.
Right.
That Baldrick guy is kind of an asshole.
That's, that's, you shouldn't be associating with him.
He's caused a lot of trouble in this city.
Oh, that's the bad news.
Yeah, you're medically, you're all fine.
Oh, all right.
Hold on.
What's his reputation with you?
Well, I sometimes see him.
And then sometimes I see people who come as a result of things he's done.
Like what?
Well, there was a poor gentleman in here who had a chemical problem just the other day.
Pardon?
A sore throat, irritated lungs, very, very, very bad situation.
And that was connected to Baldrick?
Well, the, the person was very much claiming it was him.
Oh, I see.
Well, that checks out.
I mean, he poisoned the guard.
Anything else?
What is he bombed?
Any orphanages?
Oh, oh, that's, that's just a rumor.
That's slanderous.
Okay.
So that part wasn't real.
I have a question if you have an answer.
Okay.
Also, chat, I just want you, since you're, since Erndel's muted and he's getting all of his info
through you, just like insinuate that this dwarf has a crush on Baldrick.
That'll, that'll just get him going.
That'll be really funny.
Yes, Tannhauser.
Sell the joke, Chad.
Don't be that guy.
Be with the bit.
Don't rat us out.
Tannhauser, you were saying?
You are familiar with Baldrick.
Why is he so cagey and infantile?
Well, it's not, uh, not a fan of the government, especially the, uh, the local martinet.
What is the local martinet?
Um, you can give me a society check.
SOCIETY!
Sorry, Erndel in the chat.
What?
What?
It's for podcast people, Erndel in the chat.
What in God's name are they saying?
And all of chat is things going, eee.
This is a dairy dwarf.
Here, though, we've done nothing.
I, uh, I got a 23.
Uh, yeah, so the martinet, uh, the martinet is the, the rank, uh, for, uh, the tyrant's
guild, particularly, like, the equivalent of, like, district lead.
Um, so in this particular district of the Pond's Pilaster, uh, martinet would be, like,
their equivalent of, like, commander.
So the person in charge of the, the local tyrant's guild.
This would have been the person that was, like, in charge of the arena.
Um, situation that you, you found yourselves in.
And you, with a 23, would know that the, the local martinet is a woman by the name of
Zestina Cardoza, who is, like, a casual woman known for being very easy to bribe.
Zestina Cardoza.
And how influential is this within the city itself?
Is this, like, um, are we talking more, like, oh, this is, like, the regional manager
of, like, a good, like, one-eighth of the city?
Or are we talking, like, this is, like, the local manager of a McDonald's franchise?
Uh, this is, like, like, the equivalent of the top cop in, like, a police, like, precinct.
Like, it's not, like, you know, the chief of police or anything like that.
It's just, like, I am, like, the person responsible for this area.
Okay.
And the area itself is not, like, a huge part of Outset.
It's, like, a small city.
Yeah, like, this is, this is, like, a district within the Ponce Blaster.
Like, this is basically the area directly around the sinkhole, specifically.
Like, the Ponce Blaster is a bit bigger than just the sinkhole, so.
And what business has Baldrick had with Miss Cardoza?
She mostly is the person who has her agents apprehending him for bombings and such.
I see.
What bombings does he commit?
How frequently do you...
I don't know. I'm not his mother.
Why don't you ask him?
Because he's a cagey moron that has a bucket for a head.
Well, that sounds like a you problem, not a me problem.
Anyways, none of you have the rot.
However, based on what you said, if you need, uh, if you need more information,
you'll probably want to speak to an expert on the rot or the old powers.
Hmm.
Where can we find that?
Have you got any references?
What was that?
We both asked the same thing.
Like, where can we find?
Yeah, I didn't hear you because you talked over each other.
Sorry.
Yeah, it's a curse of internet bullshit.
No, no, no, you're good.
I'm just...
One of you clarified for me.
Where can we find that, broska?
Thank you.
Well, the only one I know of is, uh...
There's a gargoyle exiled from the university who specializes in that.
A fucking what?
A gargoyle.
A gargoyle.
What?
How fun.
A stone statue-like people.
She's really nice.
She came in here once or twice.
Before she found employ with the children of the blaze.
New York City towers and tensile.
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
Well, I believe that's as good a start as any.
Her name's Duhakis.
You'll find her at the cackling jackass.
The cackling jackass.
Okay, before we get to you, we got a reigning chat.
Is that the card?
Okay, okay.
We're going back to normal, Chad.
Going back to normal.
All right, bit's done.
Go back to normal.
Okay, do the scene, Chad.
The scene's now concluded, and she's now just giving us info now.
We can go that way now.
Yeah.
Don't confirm to me.
Don't confirm to me.
Like, don't look at me.
Don't look at me.
Just continue on.
Don't say normal.
No, don't say fucking normal.
God damn it.
Oh my god damn it.
You guys suck at this.
Mission failed, successfully.
Like, holy shit.
You guys are the worst CIA agents I have ever met.
Like, if I ever need to ask you, then like, just be all like, hey, we're going to go undercover for the bro and shit.
Don't look that way, but she's wearing a red dress.
You're going to stand the fuck up and go, who's wearing the red dress?
And her dope for all of you listening to the podcast.
She's like, I don't understand, Chad.
You're all going to feel my wrath.
Oh, fuck.
Remind me though, Thurston.
The cackling jackass, the gamblers that I met, they referenced that bar, right?
You are referring to the esteemed, esteemed NPC who we ran into in that session.
Uh, Mr. Uh, Prince du Shelf.
Uh, yes.
Prince du Shelf.
Okay.
Yeah.
Who said they were going to go to the cackling jackass.
Okay.
All right.
So all signs point to the cackling jackass.
Friends.
It's the place to go, but you probably don't want to go like this.
Why not?
And you, you need some real equipment before you go in there.
The children of the blaze aren't to be trifled with.
They seemed pretty nice.
Wait, the cackling jackass.
Is it a bar?
Yes.
Run by a gang.
You really haven't been mugged yet.
It's amazing.
I mean, I guess you fell into a pit, so.
I fell into a pit and I'm kind of a big deal.
So I'd like to see them try.
Right.
Maybe you should purchase some supplies.
Now, look, you all gave me a gold.
Or at least most of you did.
That's a finger.
So I gave you a gold and you stabbed me.
Yes, I did.
So I'll give you something back because it's a good thing.
I'm not used to seeing gold, especially from all of you,
which is why I'm fairly certain you've all going to be mugged.
But I'd like you to deposit some of those coins before you are mugged.
So maybe you can defend yourselves against being mugged.
Going to mark down an address here.
She like scribbles on a piece of paper.
You're going to have to go to this fellow.
They're a merchant.
Their name is Blotus.
Yes.
OK, I have been in the market for a new gun.
I kind of lost mine.
Thank you.
They can source whatever you need.
Excellent.
You're so much help.
What was your name again?
Cousin Ginebrin.
My cousin?
Everybody's cousin.
That's what followers of the bishop are.
Everybody's cousin.
Oh, everybody's cousin.
All right.
Funny, Dr. Cousin.
This voice is so weird.
Yes, well, I, too, could perhaps use some equipment.
I was looking to perhaps acquire some smithing supplies.
Yes, smithing supplies could be good.
Do you need a gun, too?
Well, there was the other thing I was going to do, which was I had a residence.
It's an abandoned place where I was told I could set up a shop in the city, so to speak.
I think there was a forge there, a smithing place which I could take ownership of.
I was going to go check out the establishment as well.
Can it be like right next door to Arendelle's house and the only thing separating his forge from
his house is a single wooden wall?
Why the fuck did you ruin the bit I had planned?
Why?
Why did you ruin the bit, Zoran?
Well, I didn't ruin it.
You revealed it.
You could have said,
No, and then looked away.
No.
Damn it, Zoran.
I mean, he's still not listening, so.
That's true.
That's true.
I didn't ruin it saying,
Fuck you, Zoran.
Okay, let's go.
Perhaps we could do.
Perhaps we could go check out the state of this location I am looking to acquire,
and then we could go to this merchant fellow together.
I have a question, funny doctor lady.
Hooray.
Should I be concerned if there's a discomforting number of voices in my head,
and they're all mentioning the word ship, but we are very far from the sea.
I don't know what this means.
Oh, that's just me.
I'd really like a ship.
No, that's not you.
You aren't an incalculable amount of voices screaming at once.
You're a being of pure anarchy.
I can't quite understand you at all.
For example, on the subject of anarchy,
it might be to your best interest to burn those blood samples.
Why?
Because it would be in her best interest to burn those blood samples.
Perhaps as a favor.
Oh, don't worry.
I dispose of everything.
Good.
I would hate to find out that you are being indiscreet.
I thank you for your assistance.
I would rather we not.
I appreciate the work you do for this area,
though you are a tad too religious for my tastes.
A service is a service.
I'm sure the people appreciate it.
Right.
Perhaps we should be departing now.
Let us make our way.
Let us depart, friends.
If you wish, I could take you to this establishment
that I was going to go investigate.
Nurse, we're all friends now.
We found a better bucket head.
That's right, New Baldrick.
All right, I'm good.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, here's what we're going to do, friends.
I'm going to message her and tell him to come off mute.
And we're going to cut to the sounds he's hearing
as you start rummaging through the building
immediately next to him.
Okay.
Sure, sure.
Okay, okay, okay.
I have sent Erndel a message to come back.
There we go.
Can I help you motherfuckers?
Okay.
All right, so Baldrick,
you have returned to your home.
Oh, I was going to go spend some of this gold, finally,
on some equipment because my character has a lack of it.
You've quickly returned to your home in this case,
because none of the merchants are open yet.
It's still very early in the morning.
You've managed to get home.
I assume you maybe make yourself some something to either eat or drink
and like take in the serene quietness of your surroundings.
Serene quietness of my home.
Yeah, bullshit.
I'm making alchemy stuff.
Bubble, bubble, bubble, sizzle, sizzle, sizzle.
And that's when you hear like a thumping sound.
Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot.
It's coming not from your door, but it sounds like the adjacent tenement.
Okay.
Which you know to have formerly been a shop that was closed down
several months ago when the owner mysteriously disappeared.
Okay.
So you're hearing like thumps and movement from there through the walls.
Okay, it's not my house.
Probably rats or something like shit.
There's like worse things in this world.
Yeah, okay.
Um, I got I got I got fried bread to make.
Yeah, so you're you're continuing.
Oh, I don't have a key for this establishment.
We'll have to force our way in.
I think I've got you.
I know how to pick locks.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Step aside.
Okay, fine.
So this is how this is how this is happening, huh?
Baldrick is going to open his door and he is going to peer out the edge of it
the five of these guys again.
Can Baldrick be in a bathrobe with just his bucket on?
No, he's fully equipped because he's going out later.
Oh, so Baldrick, it's it's it's destiny to see you like this.
We were following us.
You're following me.
I thought you didn't want to see us again, Baldrick.
I don't know.
But I will throw a smokestick at them.
Disappear back into your house.
No, I'm not doing it for me to disappear.
They said, you know, I thought you wanted to see us again.
I don't.
I'll mark myself down another alchemy point.
I like that these these pockets and uses are just you being spiteful.
Very good.
I doubt I'm going to encounter much of anything.
I still have the acid potion.
If something goes wrong, I'll just like do that.
Or start flapping his wings to drive the smoke away,
but start seeping into like the wood cracks of Baldrick's house.
My house has been sealed from the inside.
I'm an alchemist.
I know how it flows away.
Okay.
I have weather strapping.
I received a writ of ownership for this establishment right here,
pointing next to yours.
And?
Well, we were trying to get in.
You see, I made to understand it was abandoned,
but apparently it's also locked.
I did not quite think about that.
If you have the writ of ownership,
if you have the writ of ownership, why don't you have a key?
Well, I received the writ of ownership from an architect's guild
apprentice at their office, and I was told that I should be
coming here and that it should be available for me.
Well, clearly it's not.
You have another place to stay.
That isn't my house.
Well, this isn't your house.
I mean, certainly we were just about to, to, um,
you can't really break into your own house since I own this property.
Thurston, I have a dumb question.
Oh, sure.
Does my key fit in the lock?
Are you going over and trying your key?
Yeah, the rest of the party is still covered in smoke, so it's fine.
But yeah, you just like walk over, click door unlocks.
Oh, you're shitting me.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Can I, uh, so so Baldrick is out of his window, right?
No, I'm out of his front door to the adjacent door.
Where you guys are all standing.
Yes.
All right.
Is the window still open or the door still open to his house?
Yeah.
No, I shut it behind me.
You are not getting in my house.
That's right.
Wait, did you lock the door?
No.
Okay.
Run.
I'm making a fresh pine grenade.
I'll give you all delirium.
I will give you all delirium.
Hostile player, hostile player, hostile player.
I'm allowed to be hostile.
I'm a terrorist.
Terrorists win.
Friends have been planted.
Wait, wait, that's your ten.
Oh my.
Neighbors.
No, he's my neighbor.
You're not.
And we're his favorite.
There might be enough room inside this tenement for all of our friends to be here.
No, I believe Baldrick is right.
We are not his neighbors, but we are soon to be his housemates.
No.
Baldrick is like pointing at them with like his pinky and his index finger and his thumb all out.
No, you all are customers of this guy's place.
You are not living next door.
Well, I'm not opening a shop here.
I'm simply going to apply my wares.
I'm not some sort of rank amateur shopkeep.
I was going to convert maybe perhaps the entrance into a bit of living space.
But but if the walls are thin, we certainly could expand it.
We could all live together.
We're not expanding into my house.
No, I think he's got a good idea.
You could sell, you know, armor and potions and we can make a fun little business out of it.
And I'll handle the money.
No, you look.
I'm trying to run a very delicate operation here.
I do not break my cool very often, but you guys are really pushing it.
What on earth is possessing you guys to do this?
Divine Providence.
Revealish.
OK, sensible reasons for social barriers.
Lacking social cues aside, you have been hounding me for the past two hours.
Now you listen here.
We didn't know that you lived here, nor that you went to that doctor.
I was more than willing to allow us to cut the bind that is you from us.
But it is worth noting that, yes, together we are stronger than alone.
Diversity of tactics is a most amenable way.
That is, if we are to deal with Sestina Cardosa.
What the?
How do you know?
So you would know the Sestina Cardosa as the Martinet, which is the
district leader for the Tyrants Guild in this particular district of the city.
Someone who has been directly and indirectly responsible for numerous of your
incarcerations, Baldrick.
Yeah.
OK.
OK, and how do you know that name?
Sestina Cardosa runs the Tyrant Guild in this area.
She is my foe, and her notorious corruption shall soon be excised.
Exactly.
Baldrick is fucking fuming.
Rahu is just standing there placidly.
Oh, look, it's rather nice in here.
There's a training dummy, a desk.
That's great.
I close the door.
Speaker, not now, GM.
The players are interactive.
Sorry, we like Crouch.
I love Crouch.
I love Crouch as well.
He is my best friend.
We're all Crouch heads.
Very good.
I want to buy a shirt with Crouch.
Yeah.
Shut up, bro.
And you can buy it at Zorla.
Wait a second.
So is this Sestina Cardosa is responsible
more or less for the continued stagnation of this district, correct?
She is impeding progress.
Yes.
She is one La Cog in a far larger machine,
and the way we break it down is bit by bloody bit.
Yes, and I have a plan.
I mean, I was going to ask when we could kill her.
That's fine, too.
What is your plan, then?
Share it.
We can foster your weaknesses.
You good philosopher.
Okay.
So I have a plan already in motion.
I'm working on something to get to a function where she is going to be,
and I'm planning to sink it into the hole.
I'm planning to sink it by causing it to have all the structural supports collapse.
Simple as.
And I've been working on this plan for over a month,
so you're not going to come in here and just suddenly usurp me by wandering in
and declaring jihad, I guess, on her.
Hold on, hold on.
You're going to sink the entire place rather than, you know, pinning her down individually.
She takes a lot of bribes is what I heard, right?
Correct.
And that's a lot of money just sitting around.
Money for an airship.
Might I make you a counteroffer?
You're going to anyway, sure.
You're goddamn right I am.
I think we should attend.
Baldrick is just kind of like got his hand on the top of his head,
and he's just like weighing it down.
That's not going.
You, none of you are going to be allowed in.
It is nobility.
It is people far above you and I in strata.
I cannot sneak into this kind of function and neither can any of you.
Can't I?
Baldrick, I gesture to the attire.
Robbing rich people is what I do.
You should go to the king's pilaster then.
They do plenty of merchants up there.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You're not getting out of this that easily.
See, I hear that there's a fancy party with a bunch of nobles with very heavy pockets and that,
well, something might go wrong at the end of it.
And that's a lot of material that would go to waste.
So I think that we should break in.
We should take things.
We should get all the info we need because if we just kill one leader of the tyrant skill,
the next one's going to step up and then we're going to go do this whole song and dance again.
And frankly, I'm ready to get out of this town and I think you are too.
And Baldrick comes over to Vali and he is he's still annoyed, but he claps a hand on her shoulder like,
Okay, you are raising a good point about only killing one.
Why do you think I'm trying to sink the whole function?
And you think that that's going to solve the problem?
It'll solve many problems.
They'll be so screwed up trying to think about that.
I can plan my next move.
Baldrick, for someone that seems to criticize my theatrics,
you must understand murdering a bunch of nobles in a giant bombing is less subtle than hanging them on chains.
I won't be anywhere near it.
You're right. You'll deflect all of the incoming strata onto the people here like your doctor friend.
Uh-huh. Listen, I need you to understand something.
This situation is so wildly out of control that it is not going to be fixed by bringing the people to bear against them.
The people are broken. The people are tired. You have tried. So many people around here have
tried to whip themselves up into a frenzy over this. It goes nowhere. So you know what I'm going to do?
I'm just going to weed and weed and weed. I don't care if there's any dirt or worms left.
I'm going to weed until there's nothing left and then they can pick up the pieces from there.
You are a fool. And you're an optimist.
The reason the people do not rise is that they have no vanguard.
They have no one to pave the way. That is our purpose, our possibility.
You talk about reading. I am not entirely unfamiliar with such talk.
But your reading is single-minded. We could use this fool, this easily broken cartosa and perhaps
strike a blow far closer to the tyrant's guild heart. How would it look, Bodrick? How would the
spirits of the people know when the tyrant's guild forces are under our control?
Oh. Hey, guys. Yes, Orin.
You guys hear that? Behind the door.
Yeah, you heard the faintest sound of metal crumpling over.
Uh-oh. Was that Kroonj? I'm going to throw open the door. Hey, Kroonj, you good? You trip?
Uh-oh. You open the door and it opens into, like, a darkened interior of, like,
of a storefront that's empty.
Kroonj!
Come here, boy!
Well, it seems like we've already got some attention. So if our, um, intrepid group,
and that includes you, Baldrick, would like to jump on this, let's go. And I'm going to rush in.
What are we investigating?
Well, it seems as if, uh, Kroonj has encountered some difficulties.
Kroonj has either encountered difficulties or he's out to rat us out.
Hey, if there's a trouble with your neighbor, you might as well get it solved.
Because that trouble can go to your home, too.
Exactly. So do you want to call the HOA or do you want to deal with it?
Simple. We're going to deal with it. Move.
And Baldrick is going to go inside first. He's had enough.
I'm going to be, like, pushing past, trying to get in first.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're all, we're all trying to, we're stuck in the door now.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah, yeah. There's, like, the comedic.
At the very back, push everybody through in a pile.
And you all just, like, fly out.
Okay, um, you still have light up, right, Rahua?
Correct. Well, actually, probably not at this point, because we've been out.
Because it's dark inside.
Like, there's no light sources active inside the building, so.
Yeah.
So everyone kind of, like, rushes in into darkness.
I guess I could, uh.
That's fine, I think cast is a cantrip.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I do that. I'm gone. My eye glows.
It do be glowing.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
It do be glowing, though.
Okay, cool.
So it, like, provides a lot of illumination around.
And so you find yourselves entering into a building.
Uh, it's, again, there's a storefront.
There's a chair.
There's, like, empty, there's an empty, like, desk.
There is an empty rack.
There's a training dummy that looks beat up.
There's several, like, shelves in the northeast corner of the room.
It's all, like, wooden with stone walls.
Um, in the northeast corner, there's all sorts of, like, shelves, but they're all empty.
There's, like, spiderwebs and cobwebs everywhere.
Hmm.
Well?
Crunch?
You okay?
I'm just gonna call into the house.
No response.
Is there any signs of, like, broken windows or anything like that?
No, there's no windows into this place.
I'm going to pick up the pace in case, in case this is not something broken and is more
crunch ran out to go tattle.
Sure.
Like, as soon as I can find a, uh, a path.
A door.
Yeah, so, um, there's a door.
Rahua, your light sort of illuminates it.
But, like, until you step in the door frame, no one can see into this darkened room.
Allow me?
Yeah, uh, and you see what is clearly a bedroom.
There is a small, like, notebook that's left on the table.
There is a bed, uh, in the west that is, like, covered in a layer of dust.
Um, again, the floor is also dusty as you're taking steps.
You hear the thump, thump, thump, thump of your footsteps.
Um, yeah.
What does shadow mean?
Um, can I get everyone to give me a perception check, please?
You got it.
Yeah.
I suppose I could afford to give you one.
Yeah.
If you really want it so badly, I suppose I could give you, uh,
Yes.
A 16.
I got an 18.
Stodrig is blighted by how annoying he is.
27.
Uh, Tannhauser, you're the one who succeeds.
You hear something.
It sounds like, tink, tink, tink, scrape, tink, tink, scrape.
And it seems to be coming from, like, the northern end of this room.
Tink, scrape.
I'm heading in.
Okay.
Rahua to me.
Okay.
Yeah, and he shows a, a set of stairs that descend down.
Uh, I'm going to assume, Oren and Baldrick, are you following up with them?
Correct.
I'm just having a hard time moving at the moment.
No, I'll, I'll, I'll brief.
There we go.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry, I got myself there.
You're out of the, okay, there we go.
Okay, wait there.
Good.
Okay, cool.
All right, so Rahua, you see the set of stairs that goes down about 15 feet to a, like, stone floored area.
Uh, and you can hear, like, the light crackles of embers as you approach towards the door.
But you also then hear the, this tink, tink sound.
Tink, tink.
Hmm, I don't, I don't like this.
There's something, something I've put in this basement.
You'd best be ready.
All right.
Rahua will take a moment and hold up his right hand as you see little wisps of light seemingly
stitching together in front of him as a metal shield materializes onto one of his arms.
Oh, that's new.
Yes, this is.
Oh, I already forgot that was good.
Hold on.
I got to find it in my feats.
Which, which, ooh, yeah.
This would be a result of me taking Soul Forge your dedication.
Ooh, Soul Forge weapon I can just pull out of thin air.
I myself.
Yes, it's a shield.
I myself will cast shield and
which does what you think it does.
Drag it on your character.
Yeah, that's right.
And I'm also going to activate my laughing shadow.
Okay.
All right.
So since you're all kind of in like combat-y mode,
let's get you all to roll initiative, like say yourselves in combat, roll initiative for perception.
Let's do it that way.
All right.
Here we go.
19.
19.
19.
Orin rolled a 25.
Oh.
Nice.
Ooh.
30.
30 for Tanhauser.
A natural 20.
It's still, it's still waiting for me.
Oh no.
I just announced everyone what they got.
Tanhauser, you said you got a natural 20, which got you to a 30.
Orin got a 25.
I got a 21.
Uh, Rahua.
Yeah, Rahua got a 19.
Violet got a 14.
And Baldrick got a 21.
Gotcha.
Uh, yeah, you did a perception check there.
Uh, it's the same thing, but yeah, but be sure to click the initiative one next time.
I tried to.
I guess it's all good.
I got it.
Okay.
Um, here's what we're going to do.
Tanhauser, you may go first.
I'll count you as having your shield up.
Um, yeah, you may, you may go first.
Or are you wanting to delay until Rahua goes?
Um, when does Rahua go?
Fourth.
So forth?
Fourth.
Um.
Well, or you could move down just to see if you spot anything up to you.
Yeah, sure.
I, uh, I can move a good, uh, a good 30.
All right.
So, as you, uh, rush up ahead, uh, you see the sight of Kronch fallen over with an arachnid
creature on top of his armor attempting to pick at the plates with these, like, pick-like appendages.
The arachnid is about the size of, of, like, a hunched-over person.
Uh, arachnophobia warning.
Sorry, people, for viewing.
Um, it, it is, like, attempting to pick at, at the armor and sort of its head adjusts
as it looks and sees you coming in.
Turnable creature!
Away from him!
And I will, uh, look at him.
I'm going to raise my hand and I'm going to cast a first-level spell.
Sure.
I'm going to cast, uh, hydraulic push.
Totally.
Um, so let's roll!
Push it away.
Ooh!
I will spend a hero point.
All right.
Hero point!
I have so few spell slots.
No!
Did we get worse?
Oh, no!
And that's why hero points could giveth and taketh away.
Yeah.
Just a stream of water cut into the rock around it.
Yeah, and you, like, splash into this hole behind it.
So, um, now that you're down here, Tannhauser, I'll explain what you see in the room.
There is, like, a, uh, like, a burning set of coals providing dim illumination.
There is a massive, um, like, forge in the southern end that's glowing out, um, heat and providing
some illumination to the southern end of the room.
This is obviously, like, the smithy area, though it's lacking an anvil.
It seems a lot of the supplies here have been sort of cracked open.
But there are cracks in the walls, as you can sort of see around here, uh, to the southeast.
There is a crack in the wall that has allowed this, this arachnid creature to come out.
Uh, and you attempt to splash it, but, uh, fail with your, your hydraulic energy.
Uh, if you may click and, uh, end your turn, sir.
Indeed.
Perfect, perfect, perfect.
Um, and then, skittering out of the darkness, another one comes, and it rushes towards you,
Tannhauser.
You hear the clicking of his feet and the, as it embeds itself in the stone, as it rushes
across, uh, from a hole that was out of your, your line of vision because of the lighting.
And it does this, um, leap attempt at you.
Um, so first of all, I'm going to roll an acro.
I think, uh, one sec.
Um, oh yeah, it's going to, it's going to roll an athletics check here.
Okay, uh, so it will basically just, like, hop out, land in front of you, nothing too fancy,
uh, as it kind of, like, comes, gets a bit of momentum, leaps towards you, and then it
attempts to bite you with its fangs.
Oh god, critically hit.
Uh, well hit, critically hit you.
So, like, as you attempt to hydro, that's probably why your hydraulic push failed, is
the last second you saw this thing coming out of the shadows leaping towards you, and it bites
into the side of your neck.
Um, I am going to ask you to give me a fortitude save, please.
You got it.
As you feel it injecting venom into you.
Oh boy.
Yeah.
This was the one thing we didn't want to happen.
All right, let's rock.
I've also turned my gym rolls off so you can see.
That was going to be a 20.
A 20.
Okay, so you feel this poison course through you, but your, your, your, your quantum entanglement
device manages to repel some of it.
Yes.
Oh, I, I technically get a plus one circumstance bonus to my saving throws.
Just, I don't think it matters, but who cares.
Yay.
Uh, yes.
Keep it private.
Keep it a mystery.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, don't, yeah, yeah, don't, let, let people wonder.
Okay, let people wonder about my, uh, my monstrosity.
Yes.
All right, fine.
All right, fine.
Oh, and then it's going to attack you again.
This time, not with the bite, however.
Instead, it goes with one of its pick-like legs, um, tempting to hit you.
What the hell?
We'll hit you, uh, for eight more points of damage.
This is piercing damage.
As it slices into your knee.
And this thing lets out a.
All right.
Don't you at me.
Oren, you're up.
You probably hear some shouts and protestations from, uh, from Tannhauser from down below the stairs.
He definitely does.
So he's going to basically run, actually, is my speed only 20?
I probably went sideways one.
Ah, I mean, regardless, I'll move.
No, you should be 25, unless you've got armor or something, but whatever.
No, huh.
No, yeah, I have 20, weird.
Anyway.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, so basically, he's going to go, boop, and then, ah, I went diagonal.
That's why I did it.
Boop, boop, boop.
He's going to come over to the side and go, like, ah, spider.
And then he's immediately going to, you're going to hear, like, just crackling, just energy happen.
And what you're going to hear is something, you're going to hear just a large lightning bolt come
through and go, and he's, and his hands going to come together and go, crack it down.
And then immediately just smite the spider with a sudden bolt.
Yeah, do it up.
Yeah, I would like to do it up, but for some reason, even though I put myself as level three,
it's not giving me the ability to cast my spell.
And I've actually been messing with this the entire time.
So basically, basically what it is that you call it in a small bolt of lightning of the
target, doing 40, 12 electricity damage.
And it is basically a reflex save.
So he needs to make it.
The spider needs to make a night needs to beat a 19 DC and a reflex.
Okay.
One sec here.
Or else he suffers the full 40, 12 damage.
Oh, okay.
Oh, one sec.
How many second level spells do you get right now?
Two, I think.
I can double check.
No, I just here.
I figured out what was wrong.
There you go.
Okay.
You should have the cast button now.
You can just cast.
Thank you.
No problem.
Yeah, that's probably the number of it.
Yeah, there you go.
Okay.
So I will make a reflex save for the scooter.
Remember that button probably doesn't work.
That button does not work.
It hates me.
It's never worked.
Never rely on it.
I say it all the time.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Okay.
It passes with a 20, but that'll still do half damage.
So please roll me a little damage.
Oh, 42.
28 points of damage.
So half of that.
Yeah.
So it takes 14 as it's like sizzling arcs of energy go over it.
It's like his and scritches back.
Oh, yeah.
I do need to apply 10 hoster's damage.
Thank you.
Okay.
Cool.
All right.
And that will be the end of his turn.
Guys, there's spiders down here.
They're eating him alive.
Okay.
That was Oren's go.
And that brings me to this one.
So now noticing the the slew of attackers, this spider is going to skitter away from its
helpless foe.
Coming over to you, Tannhauser.
Good.
Good.
It's going to try to bite you.
And it misses you.
Ah.
And following that, it will also attempt to hit you with its pick leg again.
Pick leg.
Hitting you.
For six points of damage, as it like again hits you in your thigh, further wounding you.
I also have to apply the last pick attack on you, too.
There we go.
Okay.
As you are now very beaten and bruised from all of these repeated attacks.
All right.
Cool.
That's that.
Spooters go.
Baldrick, you are up, my friend.
Uh, okay.
So let me check my stuff.
I can't move through ally spaces, can I?
Yeah, you absolutely can move through friendly spaces.
It's fine.
You can't turn on one, but you can move through.
Yeah.
Okay.
So if I move 10, let me see what my max move is again.
It is 35.
No, it is 25.
Damn.
Okay.
So I'm going to 10, 5, because I can't see around this corner.
5, 20, 25.
Can I move?
Can I move to there?
Okay.
So you can go all here, because since it's easier, you can go like 10 up to here.
And then, oh, Zoran's there.
Yeah, Zoran's in the way.
So you can get to there with one move.
Okay.
Seeing the situation unfurling, that's one move.
Yeah.
Uh, I'm going to quick alchemy, a moderate alchemist fire, and toss it at the...
I'm assuming this one's blocked.
Yeah, that'll get like a heavy, it'll get cover from the attack, so.
And this one will get cover from?
From your allies, yeah.
So this one will be harder to hit, because it'll have heavier cover.
This one will just have regular cover, because you're tossing through buddies.
But you're elevated, so it's only going to, like, you're not getting terrible cover,
because it's just going to be Auron in front of you.
Okay, sure, I'll go for it.
Alchemist fire, quick make.
Let me just quickly conjure up one of them.
Yep.
That is a moderate alchemist fire, because it doesn't cost anything comparatively.
Why does it say, I got a question, Thurston.
When it says DC, that's not for quick alchemy, right?
No, that's if you're crafting.
Okay.
Put together a little thing, put it on my person, and throw, because I'm imagining these are not
weak to acid, but maybe to fire, and fire is funny.
Okay, so, target that guy.
Hello!
Okay, what's my circumstance?
No circumstance, just straight up here.
Oh, just straight up.
Yeah, I'll, I'll, you missed by eight.
Oh, you're going to reroll them.
Yeah, two on the die.
Let's roll that hero point.
Oh my god, they're so agile.
Uh, trying to-
Too many of them!
They won't let me reroll it.
You need a medic back.
Uh, oh, you need to not do the attack miss.
That's the one above.
You need to right click and, uh, reroll.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Reroll, using a hero point.
Reroll!
There you go.
There we go, that's a hit.
Splish!
21.
Wait.
It also rerolled the damage, but that doesn't matter because he didn't hit it in the first place, so.
Yeah, no, no, he did hit it, though.
That's the thing.
So now it's, you would roll, click on damage, and we'll, we'll see what happens.
I clicked it.
Okay.
There we go.
There we go.
Uh, that will be a 10.
Okay, so what'll happen is this guy will, um, get two persistent fire.
We'll take 10 points of fire damage.
Kablam!
No, Baldrick takes five.
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, don't steal that to me.
Good idea.
I don't know why it does that sometimes.
Okay.
Boop.
To that.
And then, um, this one adjacent will take, uh, two points of fire damage from the splash.
Um, Tanhauser will not because you are a bomber and may go,
Fuck that!
I don't want to impact my allies.
Yeah, I'm assuming I don't want to hit, I don't want to hit, uh, make Tanhauser's life harder.
Yeah.
I mean, you might not be happy with him, but I'm sure you don't want to set him on fire.
He's not there yet.
Come on.
Yeah, that took us a while in Warhams to have that.
He's not piebrained, not yet.
Yeah.
Hey, guys, what's going on here?
That was two actions.
I used one, uh...
Yeah, you quick alchemy.
All right, so you may end your turn.
Yes, I click the button that says end turn.
And then Rahua, you may go, Rahua!
I come!
What?
No, no, no.
I barrel through everybody else to protect myself.
The time has come, and so has Rahua.
I'm going to get the spider POV as they all turn towards barreling tree man.
Now they've come to a very important juncture.
I'm not going to abandon you like I did during the rot bear fight.
Aw.
Thank you, King.
And I'm going to cast heal.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, absolutely.
It seems like I can target him.
Come on, come on.
You don't have to target him.
You could just roll it.
I have to apply it anyways, so.
I'm going.
You could still target him, though.
Healing.
Yeah, are you doing two action or one action version?
Ah, we will do two action.
You move, so two action, yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, so basically roll a d8, and we're going to add eight to that,
and we'll apply that healing.
Yeah.
Do it, do it up.
There we go.
There we go.
Wow.
Get him.
Two.
Hey, let's still get ten back to him.
You get ten health, you good boy, you.
I will restore ten health.
There we are.
The dispensers are healing, frog ten.
So I can stream it, my friend.
End your turn, champion Rahua.
Can I?
Yeah.
Can I reroll that health to give him?
But no, I'll end it.
Vali!
It's me, fashionably late.
You can now do your job.
Kill!
Yeah, I'm gonna, I believe I got a little movement upgrade this level.
Wow.
Oh yeah, you're fucking like speedy speedy.
I'm quick.
Yeah, I'm 35 without panache.
35, yeah.
Gonna get here.
Yeah, I would have to.
Yeah, you can get like there?
There.
I'll get here so I can reach this pick spider.
Um, and then I'm going to, ooh, they are quick, so what I could do is, I'm going to-
You're going to rush down the stairs.
Yes, I rush down the stairs.
Get behind me, Oren, you sweet baby boy.
Um, and I'm going to, I'm going to, uh, target this spider and I'm going to make a, uh, fainting attack.
Ooh, okay.
Uh, not exactly a new thing, but I think I should have been doing this while I was having.
Hey, you've been, you've been enjoying acrobatics, it's fine.
I have been, uh, but now I have plus 10 deception, so.
Oh, I see.
Time to metagame.
Wow, holy shit, you're just coming out, I like it, all right.
Oh, absolutely, no.
Uh, yeah, uh, seeing that they are very quick, uh, and very scuttly, I'm going to do a fainting strike,
kind of, like, charging toward one of the legs and then coming up with a quick upward, uh,
swipe, uh, going to roll deception against this man.
I believe that is how fancy it works.
The spider, the spider's perception DC, all right.
Spider-man.
Scooter-man.
All right, roll it.
I can't, that sucks.
Ooh.
Oh.
I'm going to send a hero point.
Hero point.
Hero point.
Uh, oh, wait, there is a reroll button, isn't there?
Yeah, right click and then reroll with hero point.
Yes.
Yes.
There you go.
Oh, yeah, that's fair.
22.
That will succeed.
You have fainted it, which, um, for those of you who are wondering on a success,
it is flat-footed, but only against the next melee attack you make against it.
So it will be flat-footed against you.
Yes, indeed.
But also, I believe that gives you panache and panache, doesn't it?
It does give me some panache, uh, and I'm going to hit that man with the finisher.
Yeah, so come.
I like to think that this is the first time Volley makes to look like you're going to roll through,
and then instead you just back off and stab it.
Exactly.
I'm tricking even my party.
Uh, strike.
Give me the attack.
Oh, strike.
Yes.
God.
God damn it.
God.
14.
I have another hero point.
Yeah.
I'm about to get his, uh, his ass blasted, so I'm going to use it.
Okay.
Do it.
Do it.
Hey.
Here we go.
Critical head.
Here we go.
Much better.
All right.
And I just click critical.
Yeah.
That should roll everything.
Should be a small mountain of dice that appear.
It has to calculate all of the dice that you have to roll for this.
I'm clicking it, but it doesn't want to.
It doesn't.
Uh, I think there's another one on my character sheet.
There we go.
Yeah.
That should work.
Yeah.
Uh, eh, eh.
Well, that was.
I mean.
I mean, who wins?
That could have been a lot better, but 17 points of damage is still nothing to sneeze at.
It is, it is the, uh, it is the pinto of critical hits.
It is still enough, however, to kill the spooder.
That's more than enough for me.
Uh, after nearly failing spectacularly twice, Vali is going to go, ta-da, bow, and then go to the next turn.
Korn claps.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
As another one comes out.
Is this a dog?
Is this a dog?
God damn it.
Eminent dog.
Tenhauser's taking too much damage.
He's got delirium.
This one comes up to Rahua, seeing the sparkly magic and attracted by something shiny.
Hello, Rahua.
Hello.
Oh, wait.
Tenu.
Tenu.
I've been looking all over for you.
Oh, my God.
My snooker prototype.
Okay.
Fuck.
That one fails.
Okay.
This, this next one comes.
Skittering underneath the training mannequin coming up to you, Vali.
We good here?
What?
Is that enough?
I don't know.
I could spider all day.
All right.
I hit you, Vali, for five points of damage.
And I require you to give me a fortitude save as this fourth spider has come out
and has bitten you and injected poison into you.
Give me a fortitude save, Vali.
Shouldn't the guild have told you if this place was infested?
Crunch is currently face down.
Just yelling at him.
Not moving.
All right.
Crunch, get up.
I have to complain.
Yeah, Crunch, I need you to complain, too, about the HOA.
All right, so did we come back to the start of the combat round?
Oh, wait, no, actually, sorry.
It does get one.
No, it took two moves to get it.
So that's that one.
Okay, now we come back to the start of the combat round,
and that's the end of the spider reinforcements.
For now, Tannhauser, you're up.
Congratulations.
Excellent.
All right.
Tinker, if I may make a suggestion,
could you move so I don't have to move through quite so many spaces to attack something?
That is possible, yes.
I'm currently having to move through three people, and I can't stop on your spot.
I will teleport.
Good job, thank you.
I will simultaneously be here and here until I am there.
And then in that same hurry, I'm going to take my
sword.
I'm going to sweep it around once, and then I'm going to channel my second level spell
slot through it.
So I stab it into the spider that's on fire.
Yes, but you'll see why soon.
Oh, I'm sure I will.
I'm going to be channeling
my new spell, Scorching Ray.
Oh yeah, you got that from fire visions.
That's right.
I'm going to miss.
Damn.
I'm going to have another hero point on deck.
Yeah.
And listen, this time, I'm going to critically hit it with a 20.
Because reality fucking hates me.
No, I mean, sure.
Sure.
Fine.
Fine.
Do it.
First to be quiet and kill the spider.
All right.
Roll damage.
Excellent.
Let's roll my crit damage real quick.
That's a one and a two.
Oh, boy.
The crit damage is well.
That's that's not that's not that's not that's a five five damage because I'm in
evil.
If Holly's was the pinto, that's the.
All right.
That's really bad.
My spells at half damage did more than the crit damage currently.
I spent two actions.
I believe that's two additional rays.
Um, they are going to be four D six fire damage.
Uh, I'm going to assume that do I have since I already rolled to hit on this guy?
Do I have to roll to hit for these?
Um, so so this was this was via a spell strike, right?
Yes.
Okay.
So your spell strike is the Magus ability for those of you who are listening.
So Magus is our like resident stabby and stabby thing, uh, stabby and casty thing.
So basically your spell is coupled with your attack using your attack roll to determine
the effect of both the strike and the spell.
This counts as two attacks for your multiple attack penalty.
Uh, but you don't, um, apply the penalty until you've done the spell strike.
So that won't matter here.
Um, so it does count as your attack roll for the spell.
Um, excellent.
So yeah, these are going to be, yeah, I think it's just both of them go into this guy and
well, it's gonna, it's gonna be a one to him and then one to everyone here.
Um, yeah, so I think it has to go into the one you target.
I think, but I, uh, I'm okay with you bouncing it here because cool, cool factor.
Okay, cool.
So all the spiders are going to be taking 86 fire damage.
Well, not like you, you, you would pick your, Oh, I'd have to, I'd have to a target.
Yeah.
You don't, you don't hit all of them with rays.
You pick which ray is hitting which, cause you get two rays.
One of them can go into one target.
One of them can go into another.
This is what I was saying.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
I think cause it's a ray, um, uh, okay.
There's feats and stuff that will let you split it.
So technically it does all go into this target.
Like you just fucking obliterate this thing.
Oh, I, I might not have done that then.
Oh no, well, uh, okay.
Um, we are getting.
Oh, all right.
I think you needed to do that because.
Yeah, you, uh, actually you did need to do that.
Cause that's.
Actually, it's gonna be 86.
Yeah, it's technically that.
Yeah.
Okay.
So 35 damage to that guy.
And then I guess I would get to roll.
An additional.
What is it?
It was technically, but it would all go into that target.
Yeah.
Well, I'm sorry.
I should have gotten one of the other spiders.
I thought, I thought I was doing something cool.
You were doing something cool.
You just.
Fucking like.
Double pizoned it.
Excellent.
Double pizoned?
Pizoned.
You're going to have to come up with a playbook here at some point, Thurston,
because I don't think I understand that one.
I make up words.
It's what I do.
My 10 has your turn and let's move on.
Yes, yes, yes.
Molten.
After you cast Molten Beam.
Apologies, comrades.
Apologies to Lorne for stealing his bit.
Oren, Oren, you're up.
Cool.
Oren's going to look at the dead spider that's to the right of Ruhura.
This one specifically.
And he is going to cast Protector Tree right onto its corpse.
You'll see Oren begin to extend his wooden hand.
You'll see him begin to go, no.
So what this does, you'll see limbs and just like growth of trees and everything else begin to
like come out of the spider's body.
And basically what this does is that if an ally is adjacent to it, which Vali and Ruhura are, if
someone attacks them, this thing basically like takes that hit instead.
So, yeah.
I also like that the icon is very clearly some kind of angry tree.
Like I never even noticed that, but fuck if it's an angry tree icon.
Yeah.
So basically to me the thing, the tree has an AC 10 and 10 hit points and thanks random
music transition that should have been happening.
That keeps happening because, you know, it's just what this player wants to do.
It was not loop that.
So basically whatever an ally adjacent to the trees hit by strike, the tree interposes
its branches and takes the damage first.
Any additional damage beyond what it takes is to reduce the tree to zero
and anything extra of that goes to the original target.
So I'm basically casting like a shield bubble around it.
Cool.
So just to keep it in there, the GM can determine that the tree disappears
immediately in a certain blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever.
I'm basically casting a tree bubble.
So we'll just keep that dead icon there to symbolize.
Hey, if you're near that corpse, that tree is protecting you.
The tree bursts from the ground.
Also, I'm going to need a tree token.
Someone write that down.
The tree bursts from the ground, like coming out from the stones and
emerging into the chamber.
All right, great.
I like it.
You still have a move action, right?
Yeah, I do have a move action and I am going to step it back one.
So Baldrick doesn't have to suffer past me into my turn.
Hell yeah.
Gone.
Baldrick, you're up.
Okay.
Oh, and the pick spider takes more fire damage because it's dead.
It's corpse does.
So owing to my stealthy nature,
since I am technically out of sight of these or at least one of these spiders.
Can I go into stealth?
Uh, yeah, absolutely.
You can avoid notice.
Yes, what is what will I be rolling for that?
Just give me a stealth check.
Just a stealth.
It's going to be posed by some perception DCs, but.
Hey, that's funny.
Yeah, that's a 20.
Okay, so that's one.
27 for the for the total, by the way.
Yes, thank you.
Uh, so now that I am out of sight.
What I'm going to do is I'm going to move.
Okay, I'm going to move.
Let me see.
Probably about probably there is fine.
Okay.
So rushing into the room beside Tannhauser kind of like butt up against this table
that's in the north end of the room.
Yeah, yes.
I'm going to stay there.
Let me just move myself.
Oh, well, yeah, you know the wall.
There we go.
Right.
And now that I'm there, I'm going to.
Uh, can I.
Also to take me to ready and throw because I don't have the thing ready.
Well, I have it equipped.
Oh wait, no, I have that acid flask equipped.
Yeah.
So I can just throw that.
Yep.
So because I'm stealthed, I get a bonus because of still.
It'll be flat footed against you.
So which one are you targeting?
Target the one and then I'll let me think or who I can take that.
He's got health.
So I'm going to help volley.
Okay.
I have applied the flat footed effect to it.
Yes.
And now I shall throw my remaining acid flask at the target.
Do it up.
Kerchow.
You will hit it by two with an 18.
Okay.
So now I'm going to damage it.
Hish.
It deals.
Okay.
So it does three, but that's not the, that's not where acid flasks are great.
It's the 2d6 acid persistent damage that is now on it.
Yep.
And so I'm going to roll the persistent now.
Not, not yet.
No, it, it happens on its turn, basically.
Okay.
Just wanted to make sure I didn't.
Yeah.
I'm glad I did the stealth because if I didn't, I would have missed that.
Yeah.
Well, plus two bonuses are pretty big in this game.
Um, okay, cool.
So am I out of stealth now that I've done that?
Uh, yeah.
Like basically now it notices you, but I, I, I, I, I, I stealth, I ninja rolled through
and then hurled an acid bottle at it.
Yeah.
So move, throw, you had it ready.
You said, so you still have an action, right?
Uh, no.
Cause I stealthed.
Oh, that, yeah, double, half moved, I guess, too.
Yeah.
It's like in your turn.
We good.
I was going to.
I just did it.
Cause you know, reason.
Rahua.
Yes.
What are you doing, Doug?
Uh, we're going to.
Whoa for a man can not.
You have one spooter in front of you.
Oh yes.
Oh yes.
I see him.
I'm going to beat the fuck out of him.
Oh, well.
Okay.
Yeah.
Violence.
I killed.
Use the mace instead because plus eight.
There we go.
Hit by zero.
That'll it.
Works for me.
Dimashios.
Four damage.
Okay.
I'm going to hit him again.
Do it up.
This is, this is my life now.
And critical.
Critical.
With a nat 20.
There we go.
There you go.
Well damage.
Oh yeah.
You're using the mace.
Okay.
Wrecked.
Bam.
That'll, that'll hurt him a lot.
And.
Do it again.
Sure.
That's our luck.
Minus 10.
You could roll a 20.
Who could happen?
No.
Missed by six.
Close though.
There's a 12.
Yeah.
I'm probably not going to bat back.
So we'll just, we'll call it like it.
Cool.
All right.
Into turn and Diwali.
Pass the turn.
Pass the turn, Rahua.
Pass the ball, Diwali.
Pass the ball, Diwali, Diwali, your turn.
What are you doing?
You have an acid spider in front of you who is like hissing at you as its back is sizzling with
the alchemical substance Baldrick has thrown.
Oh, yucky.
Uh, I'm going to stab it.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
I'm going to make a quick, uh, faint toward it.
Give me the deception.
Yes.
The deception.
Does it believe your faint?
It believes your faint.
It believes.
It believes in me.
It's flat footed again.
This is poor spider keeps getting flat footed despite having eight fucking legs.
I know his, his legs are so flat.
So sadge.
Uh, sadge.
Attack roll.
Yes.
I'm going to hit him.
You do hit him.
It does hit.
Regular hit.
Damage.
Oh, it's like two ones and a two in the die.
I cannot roll damage today.
No.
Um, you hit him for five points of damage.
Uh, still have one more action.
So I'll just try and hit him again, I guess.
Sure.
I believe in you.
Why not?
Miss.
Nah.
You will miss by two.
Unfortunate.
Uh, ta-da.
All right.
That's the end of my time.
Pass the bald spider bros.
Yep.
Bye.
Bye.
All right, Rahua.
I see you.
Yes.
I bite you with my fangs.
You might, but the tree might stop you.
Oh, shit.
That's right.
So how does that fucking tree work?
Basically how it works.
If you hit him, you'd still do the damage as normal.
You're still hitting him.
Yeah.
You just tell me what that damage is.
And I'll tell you if it killed the tree or not.
Okay.
I do.
I minus itself.
I do six points of damage with the bite.
Cool.
It'll absorb it.
And it has the remainder left.
Oh.
It's four left.
That's not good.
Well, then I'll attack.
Attack Rahua again.
I'll miss.
No.
No.
No.
And for my last action, it's going to skitter the fuck back here.
No way.
It's that one.
Now this one's going to go.
It's going to it's going to attack Volley.
It's going to bite Volley.
Biting.
Biting.
It's going to bite Volley.
Well, let that spider bite you.
Spider bite.
It hurt.
It hurt.
It hurt, Spider.
Ouch.
Oh, God.
It really will hurt.
It will fucking crit Volley.
Can I nimble dodge to negate that crit?
Uh, you could if I hadn't rolled the natural 20.
Oh, all right.
So, you know.
Okay.
So, uh, so it's going to bite you.
It's going to do 20 points of damage to you.
Yeah.
So minus four to the 20 and then the tree is gone.
Did you take the rest?
Okay.
So I'm going to take 16.
Yeah.
Or 16.
Yeah.
So you'll be down to 18.
Uh, then I require you to give me a fortitude save.
Yeah.
Now you do fortnight.
Yeah.
I'm going to fortnight on him.
Fortnight.
Fortnight.
Tama night.
It means something.
It means something.
There's going to be a night fort event.
That's right.
That's right.
I want to meet them.
All right.
It's angry.
It's going to try to bite you again.
It misses.
All right.
I'm going to.
I'm going to opportune repose.
Uh, it has to critically.
Oh, it has to critically fail.
Has to critically fail.
Yes.
Doesn't have any more good to run to.
So it's actually going to try to attack you again.
And it will probably critically fail here.
So, you know, no, I'll just miss by one.
Cause I rolled.
Uh, 19.
Now I'll nimble.
Oh wait, no, no, I can't.
No, you can't.
On nimble dodge into opportune repose.
Sedge.
Sorry.
Uh, all right.
So that's it.
Let's see what the fucking poison or the acid does.
Uh, oh shit.
It's going to take seven fucking points of acid damage.
Is it?
Boy, that's useful.
As the acid chews.
And it's still on.
That's some good damage.
Uh, Tannhauser, you're up.
Okay.
Um, seeing it begin to skitter away towards our more defenseless, uh,
uh, compare, I'm going to take out my rapier and I'm just going to do a daring and immediate
thrust towards this creature.
And I will, uh, make another spell strike cause that's my gimmick.
Uh, so, so with a spell strike, you have to spend an action to recharge your spell strike
after you've used it.
So you can do a spell strike this round.
Well, I could, cause I, what I could do is I could just teleport again.
Teleport.
Do you have two focus points?
Yeah, I have two focus points.
Yeah.
So teleport, literally teleports behind you.
Nothing personnel.
But is it, is it a spell strike with that or is it just a regular attack?
Um, it could be.
Cause you still have to recharge it.
It's a regular strike, but it's by casting a spell I recharge it and it's a focus spell.
So it's still recharge it.
Um, I don't think that is how it works.
Um, yeah.
So you're, uh, you're just, I just let it happen and solve it later.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just, I'm just, I want to make sure cause this is actually.
Yeah.
No, that is really important.
Cause I've been, I've been doing it that way.
Yeah.
Um, because you recharge your spell strike when you cast a, also when you cast a conflux spell.
Okay.
There we go.
That's the thing.
So that's your conflux spell, right?
Yeah.
I have a, I have a dimensional assault as my conflict spell.
And yeah.
Okay.
No, no, no.
It's, it's, it's more of the, if, if it was like, I didn't know that was part of it.
So this thing will, but nothing.
I like, yeah.
Okay, cool.
You're good.
You're good.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Cool.
Cool.
Cool.
All right.
So, uh, teleports behind this monster.
Yes.
And, um, let's hit it with a spell strike.
Hell yeah.
Dang.
Really?
Hell no.
Do I get any bonuses for being behind it?
No.
Because there's no facing in this game.
Ah, well, I'll have to use a hero point then, won't I?
Oh, okay.
Well, fine.
Do you have one?
Yeah.
I have one left.
Goddamn check, gave you three.
Oh, bye.
Do I count as having spell strike?
Goodbye, hero point fail.
You're down to zero, Tannhauser.
Damn.
Do I count as having spell, um, cast the, uh, spell strike though?
Uh, for purposes of what?
Uh, like, like, will I have to cast another spell in order to do another one next turn?
Uh, or you would have to spend the action to recharge it.
Yes.
Ah, I see.
It's still expended.
Yeah.
Damn.
All right.
Okay.
Uh, so that's that.
Orin, you're up.
Righteous.
Orin is gonna, uh, rush up and go, so he's gonna go 5, 10, 15, 20.
He's gonna step on the, well, the corpse is burning, or the corpse is burning, but whatever.
He's gonna go this way and then over this way, boop, boop, boop, kind of over to the side
so he doesn't get destroyed by the spider and melee.
And he is going to cast, just to make sure 15, 15, nice, electric arc, crack up.
And then electric arc to both of the remaining spiders.
They both need to make me a 19 reflex or pass the DC reflex to survive.
Okay.
As it happens, Orin takes his staff and slams it on the ground going, I'll help fellas.
And then this electricity starts arcing everywhere, uh, specifically hitting the spitters.
Emperor Palpatine.
Yeah.
Okay, so I'll do the top left one first.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Reflex save.
And then the bottom right one, ooh, a fail on that one and the bottom right one.
Uh, success on the bottom right one.
So full damage on the top, on top left.
Awesome.
Top left will take eight and bottom right will take four.
And that will be the end of Orin's turn.
That both look pretty beat up.
All right, Baldrick, you're up.
Uh, the acid one looks incredibly brutal by you.
Oh, the fire continues and eventually smolders out on the flaming spider corpse.
Uh, Baldrick, you're up.
Hmm, let me look at how many alchemies I got left.
I have used one, two, three, four, five.
I have two left.
I think, right?
It is, what is my, what is the load for alchemy again?
It's two times my level.
Um, I think so.
Or is it three times my level?
I forgot, I forgot.
You gain a number of reagents equal to your level plus your intelligence.
It's a modifier.
So that means it's seven.
Yeah.
So I do have two left.
Yeah.
Trying to think.
So if I, if I create two potions for quick alchemy.
Yeah.
That counts as two actions.
Yeah.
Huh.
Guess I can only attack one.
All right.
I'll quick alchemy and other alchemist fire moderate.
Okay.
And which one are you going to toss it at?
I'm going to toss it at the one with more health.
So this one down here.
Perfect.
Yeah.
The one by Tenhauser.
Yeah.
Before he gets attacked by it.
I totally won't attack Tenhauser with this booter.
Okay.
In that case, I will attack Tenhauser.
Nothing bad ever happens to Tenhauser.
See, that sounds fine.
Get to Tenhauser.
Question.
Yes.
Can I try to go stealth again?
Yeah.
I'd say you could avoid notice here.
I'd allow it.
You'd need to like go behind something or something.
But yeah, sure.
Hmm.
So if I can, I do a half move.
That's what you have to do in this case.
Yeah.
Okay.
So if I, if I do the quick alchemy, the half move and then the stealth, I won't be able
to throw it.
Will I?
Yeah.
You huddle behind cover or deeper cover and get to hidden.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I'm asking, will I be able to throw at that point?
Yeah.
So you could like basically stealth, move into cover as part of it, and then you could
toss something.
Okay.
I'm going to then.
Going to stealth.
Attempt two.
Yep.
Roll the check for me.
That'll get me a 23.
Cool.
That'll be success against its perception DC.
So you're good.
By the way, chat, just in case you're wondering, normally what would happen is I would roll and
Baldrick wouldn't know if that succeeds, but I don't like hidden player rolls that much.
So I nimbly tumble behind this.
And as I do so targeting the spoiler, I throw a bump.
La Bomba.
That comes fire.
Go.
Hit by two.
Hits.
Absolutely.
Roll Dimaggio.
That's cool.
18 and damblage.
That's okay.
Nine.
Uh, is he burning?
Yeah, he is burning now as well.
So the fire hits it on the back, setting it on fire.
It is looking incredibly beaten up.
Several of its legs have now been like ripped off by, uh, by, by strikes and, and by explosive
detonations.
Uh, it is hissing as it is now on fire.
Good.
And now it is not flat footed because I am now out of stealth.
Correct.
All right.
Very good.
Uh, let me end my turn.
All right.
So who are you are up?
Uh, so one spider is like melting to acid.
One is on fire.
What would you like to do?
Uh, I would like to cast anarchic barrage and the one that's on fire.
Absolutely.
Can I, can I suggest maybe heal volley since she might not kill it?
I'm actually, I can do two things.
I doubt I won't kill it.
To help you, uh, Hulky in terms of like what mechanics are at play.
Basically the one with acid will take damage at the end of its turn and the one with fire will
take damage at the end of its turn.
And so guaranteed the one that's on fire will die.
So it's true.
Uh, just so you know what's happening.
So you can make a decision on that.
That is a fair point.
You know, that's the only reason I suggested healing volleys in case,
in case come hell or high water, she manages to not kill this thing.
And then it will get to be like, ah, now's my chance to shine after 10,000 years.
And then it bites her head off.
A spider repulsor.
You can always look at the turn order.
If you don't, if you can't see the turn order correctly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you can always make a decision based on that,
but you, you play how you want to.
Yes.
I'm going to do things the old fashioned way.
I suppose.
We won't, we won't showcase that just yet.
We'll just, oh, hold on.
I turned them back.
There we go.
Moved one.
I'm going to hit him with the mace.
You're hitting him.
Hit.
Come on.
That's pretty good.
For damage.
For damage.
Pain.
Now I will hit him with this.
Game.
But I'm going to wrath.
I'm not.
No, no, that's.
Wrong game.
Wrong game.
Wrong game.
I hope so.
I hope so.
It was going to happen.
I got to reroll it.
Hero point to the quest.
Oh, wow.
And it's worse.
Oh, it is a critical miss.
Oh, it's.
Luckily, the spider is not a swashbuckler and cannot opportune riposte that.
No, you just hit volume instead.
Yeah.
Unlucky.
Oh, oh.
Oops.
You may end your turn and pass the ball to volley.
It's passed.
Volley.
The ball is mine.
Can you kill the acid spider?
Can I kill the acid spider?
I don't know.
I want to point out.
This is what has to happen for the spider to live.
Basically, Volley has to miss all of her attacks.
Then the spider has to have a two.
So on 2d8, a one and a one has to be rolled for it not to die.
All right.
Well, don't threaten me with a good time.
I'm going to do that.
You do not promise that stranger things have happened.
Good.
Just barely.
Uh, you will hit it by one.
Just barely.
All right.
It will die.
It's terrible, terrible death.
There we go.
You just died.
I like that you didn't even panache her.
Like, this is like your most just like bare bones.
Like, eh.
See what's really funny?
Because, because she didn't panache it.
If she rolled a one, it still would have lived.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
All right.
Uh, yeah.
Uh, then I'm going to, uh, skedaddle on over here.
I'm just trying.
Oh my God.
Kill steal.
Kill steal.
Please.
Kill steal.
Yes.
Do it.
Do it.
It'll be funny.
It will be funny.
Well, the, the spider does get a turn.
Okay.
Okay.
Can I, can I, can I, can I make a suggestion?
Sure.
Flank.
That's true.
Well, remember, always flank.
No, no, no, you can still attack.
Okay.
Oh, no, no.
That's what I mean.
Move there so she can flank with Tannhauser.
I have, uh.
And now she's only taking an effective minus three because.
Map minus three.
Well, it'll be minus five.
It counts in the thing, but yes.
Fargus.
Do it.
It makes it easier.
Kill him.
Okay.
Yeah.
There you go.
I got him.
Roll damage.
Oh, look.
Vali triumphantly murders the two remaining spiders.
Yeah, she saw all the spiders.
Yay.
Yay.
Yay.
Oh, me.
Yay.
Oh, Vali.
Kill your bones on the count, not the effort.
Vali.
Yes, keep the combat going.
Combat momentum.
Kill secured.
Amplified.
Kill secured.
I give him a big thumbs up.
I, I.
What would you do without me, Tanny?
There's an angel and a devil in my, on my shoulder.
And they're both saying kill of Holly.
And like, as, as like the, the, the sounds of combat end in the ringing
from Baldrick's many explosives wear out of your ears.
You hear this.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Hey, buddy.
Yeah.
And like crunch turns over onto his back where you see clearly
through some of the, the sections of his plate, the spiders had bitten him.
Oh, I think I've overcome the poison.
Well, this will be a nice forge, won't it?
Oh, well, hopefully that's the last of the spiders in the forge.
Uh, we might want to file a complaint about this one.
Yes, it's okay.
We can all be here together.
We are to take a nap now.
No, no, hold on.
Eyes open.
Uh, Rahua, can you get him up?
Oh, yes, absolutely.
Oh, yeah.
Do you want to give me a, do you want to give me one of your like naturey checks here, Rahua?
Yeah, I'll do it.
Are you going to like heal spell or?
No, he won't get that.
Okay, cool.
15.
That's enough.
Give me 2d8.
Okay.
Damn.
Be me.
Very nice.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
And like crunch kind of like begins to get back up.
Oh, I feel much better.
Foul verbanoid creatures.
Oh, well, I think, I think my friends, this will be a fine place
for us to rest and regroup and for me to begin.
He looks at the like the flame of the smith to begin forging.
Do you need to lie down for a bit?
You sort of were just mega poisoned.
No.
No, I must begin crafting arms.
You will need them.
I condemn.
No, thanks.
I've already got two.
I'd like a third.
Sir crunch.
Yes.
I have a question for you.
Yes.
Are you a snitch?
What do you mean?
Say, for instance.
Annie.
What are you telling him?
Vali has not paid many parking tickets.
Ah.
And say, for instance, a watch captain came up to you and asked you to give her location
to the Tyrant's Guild.
Would you?
Oh, I don't know.
Friends above the law is what I always say.
Yes, we must, after all, look after each other.
I mean, unless, of course, you were doing something immoral like killing several people.
Hmm.
But I doubt you would be the type of people to do that.
No.
Anyone we kill would need to have it coming.
Comrade crunch.
Now, the fire.
Oh, I will craft such beautiful things here.
And perhaps we can tear down that wall.
This will be the beginning of a great operational outpost for us.
Yes, indeed it will be.
Right, Baldrick?
Come on.
Didn't that feel good?
Fighting with your buddies?
Baldrick.
Give me some time to think on it.
Oh, all right.
Baldrick is going to rip a fang out of a spider's mouth.
Yeah, give me some time.
And that is absolutely, I think, where we have to just like, oh, think about it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, Oren.
Yeah, I'm sorry, he's Oren.
I'm going to spin a narrative declaration, but feel free to overrule this, Thurston.
Oh, no, he's had the item now.
Oh, no.
I attack fang.
I stab, bud.
Basically, Oren's coming out of the bottle going, well, well, man,
since you want to find where a bunch of nobles and stuff are and, you know, basically deal with them, right?
Yeah.
Well, only thing I could think of that people that could have taken Gorgamonger is possibly those nobles.
And, well, you guys are talking about potentially getting in and, you know, maybe, you know, getting some money out of the ordeal, Vali,
that maybe I could pass off as being a noble myself.
See, my dad kind of leads the hatchery far down the Fajal Mountains.
And, well, that could be a sort of nobility, I guess.
He's kind of leader of the tribe over there.
So, if I can figure that out and everything, I could present myself as someone selling, you know,
avian and draconic-like creatures, and maybe I could get myself in there.
That's very true.
And we could be your entourage.
Ah, tomorrow.
We're going shopping.
Yeah, and we could get information.
The main reason I say that we should probably work together, Baldrick, is that if they go down into that hull,
you may lose any information or any leads you may have to any other wrongdoings.
Make your weeding a lot easier.
So, allow us to at least infiltrate in there so I could find out where my Gorgamonger is.
We could get more information out of him.
And then whenever your operation's ready, we get out, send him down, and we have all the information we need.
And we got money to help.
Baldrick cuts him off by just crudely yanking out another fang with a...
All right, all right, fine.
Damn.
You guys are needly.
Glad to have...
Glad to have everyone on board, man.
We're persistent.
How about we shake on it?
Oren puts out a hand.
Besides, we're a crew now, right?
How about we get a rain check on that?
Oh, come on, Tanny.
Just give me...
Or, not Tanny.
What the hell?
Tannhauser, what the fuck did you do?
Oh, come on, Baldrick.
Give me your hand.
He holds out the hand covered in spider icorn venom.
Oh, yucky.
Come on.
He holds out the other hand also covered in spider icorn venom.
Oren shakes the hand with no issue.
He shakes it up.
I grab the hand.
There's this friendship bonding moment over squishing spider venom.
Hands in, everyone.
Ruhua hits someone.
Ruhua does the all-encompassing hug.
Let Ruhua decide what Ruhua does.
What does Ruhua do?
Yeah, Hulky.
Ruhua will slam his hand down upon the pile of hands.
There we go.
Tanny, come on.
I...
Hand in.
Yes.
Viva la revolution.
If we're working together, you gotta cool it with that.
We'll talk about it.
Do a prosperous new partnership, me hearties.
On three?
One.
One, two, three.
Hands up.
Hands up.
Yeah.
End scene.
End episode.
We're done.
Friendship acquired.
Base acquired.
Like, here's all the trophies that are popping up.
Enemy slain.
Yeah.
Go into furniture mode.
Ba ba ba ba.
Oren lies dead on the ground.
The Family Guy pose.
Great enemy slain.
No, Patrick.
If you're ever having problems with a boss,
you'll find my son inside by the door.
I don't need you.
I got a jellyfish.
Oh, fair enough.
Yeah, that's fucking right.
I have mimic ashes.
Fuck you.
I'll just play with myself.
Nah.
we did it all right we're done thank you that is the end of the episode thanks everybody for
watching we hope you enjoyed it and everything else if you can if you liked uh everything that
we do here you can always support us at patreon.com force us narrative declaration where not only
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pdfs uh we produce uh jamie thurston do a really good job putting things together and even arodill
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be live and a countdown timer uh for when the next episode goes live on twitch so with that we're
going ahead and say goodbye by having everyone say their outros starting off with odoroshi hi hello
excellent session everyone i am odoroshi you can find me on twitter at odoroshi writer uh and i will see
you guys for the next one next up we have hulky crow that's me you guys all did a great job this
session i had a lot of fun playing here you can find me at hulky crow on twitter or in the narrative
declaration discord server link is going to be in chat uh come hang out post fun art and make funny
memes and watch me tear my hair out it's very fun and next up we have arundel yep i am arundel you
can find me at twitter at arundelio and my tumblr if you can find it and nowhere else hopefully you
guys have fun enjoy the crap and the patreon free swag well not free you gotta pay for it but you know
what i mean we got speaker d yes hello i'm speaker d you can find me on twitter at super snake kick
and you can watch the next episode of hunter the parenting sometime very soon very soon
youtube chat soon very soon sooner than you might think sooner than you want you're gonna hate us
sooner than you hope and thurston hillman oh hi thank you all chat you're all amazing i'm just gonna plug
uh yeah the the arundel's gonna have a cool thing on the patreon it's gonna be written in baldrick's
voice so it's pretty amazing you'll you'll all enjoy it uh arundel great writer uh you can find
me on all the things add on called gm um tuesday i'm gonna be streaming probably doing world building
stuff because i've gotta build more quirky npcs for people to interact with and stuff so i'll be there
uh otherwise i love your faces you're all great your support is amazing holy crap um and yeah yeah thank
you for today this has been they've been super fun and i can't wait to see what fucking bullshit these
guys are gonna throw at me next because there was a whole bunch of stuff they all just made up on the
fly today that now i have to account for and now um and i have been your host zon the bear and if you
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us come say hi everything else get notified what's going on etc etc and with that we're leaving now
so long everyone thank you all for watching
goodbye
we'll see you next time
goodbye
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