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Welcome to Flip the Script with Vic, your weekly pep talk to expand and shift your perspective. I’m your host, Victoria Nielsen. Together, we’ll unwind all the things you thought you knew, and awaken to what’s truly possible when you flip the script on your reality and take control of your own life.
Victoria [00:00:02]:
Welcome to flip the script with Vic, your weekly pep talk to expand and shift your perspective. I'm your host, Victoria Nielsen. Together we'll unwind all the things you thought you knew and awaken to what's possible when you flip the script and take control of your own life. Are you ready? Let's jump on in. Hello, my loves. Welcome to another episode of flip the script with Vic. It's your host, Victoria Nielsen. I'm super excited to be here with you guys today.
Victoria [00:00:29]:
I wanted to have a kind of check in conversation today, and if you have not been listening to the podcast for long, I'm going to encourage you to go and listen to episode I think it's 32 before you continue with this episode because we're going to check in on my word of the year. And episode 32 lays out my word of the year, my goals, all of that good stuff. So it'd be good to listen to that one before we dive into this episode. But if you are ready to dive in, then my word of 2024 was pleasure. And it surprised me. It was not what I thought my word would be, especially considering my word. The year before was rebirth, and I don't remember the word the year before that, but it kind of came out of nowhere. And I like to think of myself as a very pleasureful person.
Victoria [00:01:24]:
So it wasn't something I felt like I had to work on, per se, but I have noticed just different nuances of it over the last couple of months that I really had some deep programming around, like, the shadow side of pleasure in the sense that I was made fun of a lot when I was younger for enjoying sex and being one of the not first people in my friend group to, like, explore in high school, but kind of. And I was proud of it. I mean, I wasn't, like, going around and telling everyone about it, but I told some very close friends, hoping that, you know, we would all keep it to ourselves. And that didn't happen. And then, you know, a lot of really mean things were said to me. Even though I was in a monogamous relationship, I was in a loving relationship. Like, it was all very beautiful and consensual. And so reclaiming that word this year and realizing that it's not a bad word or a dirty word and that it is something I do enjoy, that that sensual side of me is something that I want to encourage in everyday life.
Victoria [00:02:34]:
So making little changes, like paying attention to the fabric that I'm wearing on my skin, is it a nice, soft linen? Is it a silk what is it made of? Does it feel good and starting to feel better in my own body? I mean, I always feel pretty good in my own body, but just more alive in my own body. Right. And then noticing, too, pleasure affects all aspects of your life. So, yes, of course it's carnal pleasure like we're talking about, but it can also just be happiness and bliss and not sexual at all. And so noticing more areas of my own life where if I can approach it with childlike wonder, if I can approach it with curiosity, how much more I'm able to get out of the experience and take any expectations out of the game, like, just do it for the sake of having fun. And that approach has helped me a lot with my kids, especially in moments where, you know, tensions are high or I would normally yell or snap. Instead, I try and get silly, and it's really great for breaking tension. And then, you know, I've also really noticed I'm claiming my reading material.
Victoria [00:03:49]:
I read a lot of fairy smut, or any kind of smut, really. And actually, I recommend that to any woman that wants to up her pleasure, because reading about it is gonna. Yeah, make you want to get down. And whether that's with yourself or with someone else, you know, it's always a good thing. Orgasms are a good thing. And if you go back and listen to that first episode in January, I feel like I had not a problem talking about pleasure, but I felt really awkward. Whereas as I'm recording this episode now, I can just feel that I'm, like, flowing with it. I don't have any awkwardness, a little tension in my body of like, oh, how is this going to be received? But it's cool to just even see that difference right in my ability to communicate my needs and what it feels like in my body.
Victoria [00:04:36]:
And I feel like that's been a big learning of pleasure. Being my word of the year is like being in my body and enjoying being in my body. And so I've turned a lot to plant allies. You hear me talk a lot about microdosing mushrooms, and I don't talk about it as much, but I've started more intuitively using cannabis. I'm sure I'll have a whole episode on that. But doing things intentionally to feel the sensations in my body and recently actually making an attention to feel that bliss in my body and then be able to hold that frequency, because I've noticed that I can feel it and carry it and hold it for short periods of time, and then that scarcity mindset comes right back in, right. That, like, the other shoe is going to drop that. To have that much of a good thing, you know, you have to have a bad thing to balance it out.
Victoria [00:05:28]:
All of those old stories that maybe are circulating in your head, too. And so it's been my intention this last week to reprogram what bliss feels like in my body. That when I notice those thoughts creeping in in that I do something called cognitive dissonance, where I change the pattern, I literally start shaking my body or I'll move out of the room and stop doing whatever I was doing before and create a new pattern in my brain, a new neural pathway. Instead of following that same groove that my brain always does, right, it's going to stop it and start a new groove and create a new pattern. And so I feel like I've been noticing a lot of patterns in my life lately as well, around pleasure and stories, right. That have been so ingrained in me that I didn't even realize it. And doing this work, the more that you are on this healing journey and you're on this healing path, the more that you're going to uncover and the deeper that you're going to go. And I last night even had a dream about something that my subconscious is still working through, even though it happened a really long time ago.
Victoria [00:06:37]:
And of course it's going to come up right now. It's a clip season. But also, also with my focus on pleasure and my intention on pleasure, this wounding is coming up to be shown to the light. And I feel like I want to share it with you guys today because I'm sure so many of you have similar stories that need to be talked about. And I'm kind of like choking up a little bit to talk about this because I don't think I've shared this really with, with many people. But essentially, you know, I, as I said at the beginning, kind of had a rough go in high school and then in college. I really enjoyed myself. I had a good time.
Victoria [00:07:12]:
I was trying to be the responsible, healthy adult, letting the multiple gentlemen callers I was seeing at the same time know that I contracted an STD. Thankfully, it was a curable one. But I really, I trusted this one in particular who I was ready to settle down with. And I thought this conversation was, yeah, like the morally right thing to do. And I really, we were good friends. We had friends for a long time. I did not think that his reaction was going to be what it was. And instead of comforting me or instead of just reacting like an adult.
Victoria [00:07:54]:
He went and told everyone that we went to school with, that I had this STD and that they needed to go get checked. It was such a betrayal that I have carried with me since then, and it has really been buried deep, this sense of shame. It really. I felt like trash. And even thinking about this moment now actually makes me think of another moment in college where I lost my underwear and did not get them after the only one night stand that I had had a. At the time. I've had a couple since then, and it ended up on like a greek forum. I was not in the greek system in college, but I had a lot of friends that were.
Victoria [00:08:38]:
And yeah, these underwear got left at a fraternity house, and then I got bullied online and I wasn't even part of the system that was trying to bully me. And it just goes to show how ingrained shame is this persecution is of a woman that is liberated in her sexuality, is liberated in her pleasure. And, you know, at the time, I'm sure I put on like, a brave face and acted like I didn't care. And I'm still thinking about it now. So obviously I did. You know, I will say this isn't something I've thought about in a very long time, but I think it's coming up to be shared in safe spaces in this podcast with you all. To let you know that talking about this stuff is important, that having these conversations to ask for what you want are important for you to unpack, perhaps the prejudice that you carry around your own pleasure, around your own sensuality, around your own body as a woman. Right? Because if we can't unpack it within ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to unpack it outside of us? You know, we have to come to terms with ourselves and with all of this.
Victoria [00:09:50]:
And the biggest thing that I'm feeling in this moment is forgiveness to myself for not standing up for myself a little bit more, for not pushing back, for not, you know, internalizing all of this. And that little girl, if. If maybe all little girls, right, are taught to own their pleasure at a much younger age, imagine what a world we would live in. I think that would be so amazing. Orgasms are so fucking healing. And, you know, I am also really claiming and owning that I am this sensual being and that I enjoy my sensuality. And that's super new for me. I don't think I've owned it in this way before and really claimed that it's a part of me and that I accept it and that I love it.
Victoria [00:10:40]:
And you know, for a long time, I used it as a weapon. I, and I'm sure a lot of women listening can relate to this, right? Where you use your body as a weapon to get the things that you want with men, with others, right? And instead of using it in that way, can we use it to love ourselves more? Right? Instead of using it against others, can. Instead we use it to amplify ourselves, to bring us into higher alignment, to bring us into bliss. I really, truly believe there is something to this idea of sacred sexuality, right. Kundalini is a very sensual practice. You are trying to raise the snake that has coiled at the base of your spine, that is inherently sensual. The moves that you're undulating as the snake is coming up the spine, right, moving your hips, it is inherently sensual, and there is magic in that energy. That pure feminine, sensual energy is pure creation energy.
Victoria [00:11:44]:
And so much can come from that. You know, if you have never tried to use orgasms or pleasure to manifest things, I highly encourage that you do, or even using it as part of your meditation practice. I know this sounds probably super out there, but sometimes when those feelings arise in your body, when you're feeling those sensations in your body, when you are tapped into the ethers, when you were tapped into yourself, when you were just tapped in, there is no shame in that. That is just creation energy moving through you, ready to birth something beautiful into the world. So why would you not harness it to manifest the things that you want to happen for you? Why would you not harness it to bring to fruition your dreams and the things that you want in this life? Because coming back to that idea of feeling bliss in my body, that is pure bliss in your body. And can you use that bliss? Can you capture it essentially and use it as a catalyst to bring you the things that you want, using it intentionally? You know, our intentions are everything. The fact that I set pleasure as my intention at the beginning of this year means that I've been using that as a filter for all of my experiences, and then I'm bringing my thoughts around it to the surface, to my awareness. And so, you know, if this conversation feels maybe a little bit overwhelming for you, can you narrow it to one, one intention that you can have around your pleasure, around your joy, around your bliss? If you don't even like the word pleasure, fine, use the word bliss.
Victoria [00:13:18]:
But can you set an intention to go deeper with it, to discover what it actually means to you? Because it means something different to every single person and unlocking that, that juiciness in you is really the key to living an empowered and embodied life. And I've been doing the 75 juicy challenge with my amazing friend Bijuu the mushroom mama Sita. It's a microdosing challenge. So unlike the 75 hard, where you're, like, working out hard all the time, this is about, like, leaning into your feminine essence and into your yumminess and slowing down and following a microdosing protocol. And it's been a game changer for me to really ignite these codes in my body and release any shame around them and use them for my power and my enlightenment. That's a really freeing feeling. Instead of doing it to get something outside of ourselves, right? Instead of doing it to ensnare someone else, perhaps because, yeah, as a woman, I bet you've used your body a time or two to get the things that you want. So I think I'm going to get off my pleasure filled soapbox today.
Victoria [00:14:32]:
But thank you for being here, for witnessing me to talk about all these facets of pleasure, right? And even the not so great facets and the stories that have been a part of my wounding and been a part of my journey, being able to share them here so openly with you is super liberating, is super freeing, and is allowing me to release them and is allowing me to come to terms and come to peace with these things and to know that. That they're all part of the human experience, right? And that there is nothing wrong with me for being a sensual being. And there's nothing wrong with you. If you are too, please join me for Akashic awakening. My six week group program to learn and heal in the Akashic records starts September 23. If you are psilocybin curious and in the Atlanta area, I am hosting a beautiful micro retreat with Bijuu and another facilitator friend of ours, Kirsten. You will come and learn everything there is to learn about microdosing. And we will also do some somatic practices.
Victoria [00:15:34]:
We will have some yummy noshes. It'll be a great time. It's a half day retreat. Please look in the show notes for more information. Continue to let me know what you guys are loving hearing on the podcast. And yeah, thanks so much for being here with me. Share your sex stories with me on Instagram. I would love to get a Dm about what you're doing to, yeah, own your own pleasure this week.
Victoria [00:15:58]:
That would be awesome. Okay, that's it. I love you guys so much. Be good to one another. Chat soon.