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Welcome to Jessie's World - a weekly variety show that takes us through Jessie's Wheel of Life including Community, Fun, Health & Wellness, Entrepreneurship, Relationships, and Personal Development. Each segment brings a different flavor, making it interesting and engaging. The host Jessica Lambert aka @jessicavibez keeps it conversational and weaves humor though light and heavier topics. Special guests come from all walks of life and may surprise you. The ultimate goal of the show is to entertain, inspire, uplift, and assist us all (host included) in becoming our best selves. You get new, entertainment, wellness, and inspiration all in one great show.
Segments Include:
Tessy Time (Community) - real talks about current societal issues.
Mrs. Write (Fun) - a freestyle on-air comical writing segment where computer generated prompts are turned into master poems, songs, and short stories right on the spot.
Big Boss Vibez (Career Health) - let's talk all things entrepreneurship and bring our businesses to new heights
Today's Topic (and sometimes - Guest) - This segment covers a variety of topics that are aimed at peeking curiosity, inspiring, motivating, supporting, and most of all assisting listeners in becoming their best selves.
Gods N Goddesses (Health and Wellness) - travel inwards to center yourself. Let's focus on the personal care and wellness items that will help ensure you maximize your quality of life. A peer learning and sharing segment we grow together.
Love, Fam, N Family (Relationships) - let's share stories of human impact and the importance of leading with love.
Quote of the day.
Affirmation
Outro.
Listener interaction is encouraged. If you have show suggestions or would like to be a guest on our show you can send your request on Instagram @jessicavibez or @jessiesworldxo you may also visit www.platinumrouge.com/jessies-world
Jessie’s World Podcast - Episode 30
Conversations with Yourself – How Positive Self Talk Can Change Your Life!
Hosted By: Jessica Vibez (Jessica Lambert)
Welcome
Intro (Jingle “do do do do do love and light, do do do do do love and light)
Thanks so much for tuning into episode 30 of Jessie’s World Podcast – where we are dedicated to helping people connect with, nurture, and grow their inner gifts; achieve self-empowerment, and enjoy a life of love, light, and authentic abundance.
If you are upwardly mobile, a go getter, and committed to improving yourself and your life this is the podcast for you. I am your host Jessica Vibez with a Z, bringing you weekly episodes that help accelerate your personal and professional development journey. Be sure to follow me on IG @jessicavibez
Quote
“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love” – Brene Brown
Introduction
Today’s topic – is about positive self-talk and the power it can have over the life you experience.
Most of us, along the way, have had a family member or school mate say something hurtful that may play in our minds. Some of us, who have experienced abusive environments or toxic relationships or dysfunctional families have had to endure exposure to years of negative and damaging messages.
Over time, we are at risk of repeating those messages long after the original
author no longer has the same access to us.
This episode is an opportunity to hit the re-fresh button on your internal messages
And start replacing old damaging messages with new encouraging, supportive,
And uplifting messages.
I have spoken a lot about positive affirmations, and gratitude on other Jessie’s World episodes. But today we are going to dive deep into the types of conversations we have with ourselves and how those conversations manaifest in the world – shaping our life much more than we are aware of.
“The inner speech, your thoughts, can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak” – Ralph Charell
But First – it’s …
Tessy Time
According to Mind Works “Negative self-talk typically begins early in a child’s life when parental instruction predominantly involves criticizing and punishing negative behavior in a way that is harsh, angry, and sometimes abusive.”
This means that the internal agony and self-sabotaging impact of negative self-talk often originates externally from someone first barrading you with negative messages.
Thus before we get to the healing of HOW to talk to ourselves in a positive and nurturing way we must unpack the fact that prevention is even better than the cure we will soon discuss.
My message is to the parents, guardians, teachers, daycare workers, foster home trustees, and others in positions of power and authority over people of any age, even the criminal justice system – when you use your words, and actions, to put down people, to hurt people, to make people feel devalued and even worse, not human, you are not just impacting that person in the moment, you are impacting them for life. Long after your outburst, your out of pocket comments, your ‘discipline’, your so call corrective punishment is over that person is left scarred, and now they are abusing and tormenting themselves in the form of negative self talk.
I understand there are humans with bad intentions who may aim to permanently damage people and those are not the ones I am speaking to or about. Most people, especially parents, have good intentions. In fact, they may be repeating a cycle without even realizing.
So for the good folks, this is an opportunity to consider your long-term impact on those you love. Is your tongue sharp? Do you say hurtful things that may have a lasting impact? Are you teaching the next generation to self-sabatage and implode with negative self talk?
You many not realize it, but your bullying someone at school or work, your hitting or putting down your child or partner, your aggression and criticism can and often does have life long impacts on the person you are victimizing.
My grandmother – may she rest in peace – always said a pound of prevention is better than an ounce of cure. So Tessy would like to HEAL THE WORLD and MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE by imploring you all to THINK before you speak so that we can STOP the cycle of negative harmful talk that leads to negative self-talk. Without knowing it some of you are destroying entire lives with the mighty sword you call your tongue and it needs to STOP.
Now that we have addressed prevention – let’s discuss what is needed to prepare for CURE!
So everyone is aware – the impact of NEGATIVE SELF TALK is just as powerful as the impact of positive self talk however it’s implications are very damaging.
In order to embrace the life giving life hack that is positive self talk, you must first retire the mighty sword in your mind that keeps cutting down your dreams and YES I am referring to negative self talk – it must stop.
The impact of negative self talk sustained over a period of time includes:
* Increased stress – and we know stress leads to disease
* Increased mental health issues
* Increased physical health issues
* Low self-esteem
* Inability to see solutions and opportunities
* Being stuck in victim mentality
* Self-harm
* Depression
* Repeating the cycle with others
* and more.
You ow it to yourself to seek support if you have endured abusive and or toxic situations. You also owe it to yourself to stop speaking to yourself in a way that is unkind, unforgiving, unloving, and life limiting – trust me when I tell you that you deserve more and TODAY I want you to fully commit to giving yourself more!
How you ask? Well that brings us to TODAY’S TOPIC…
--
Today’s Topic – Conversations with Yourself, how positive self-talk can change your life.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha
So we have ascertained that in many cases negative self-talk comes from childhood or toxic situations, we have vowed we will watch our own tongue as not to cause this type of harm to others intentionally or unintentionally, and we have agreed to press STOP on our own internal recording of negative self-talk…
Now it is a lot easier to say you will stop negative self-talk than to actually do it.
One way to ensure that negative recording stays stopped is to replace the recording (shoot throw the tape all the way out) with a new tape, one that is filled with recorded positive messages that will affirm your awesomeness and catapult you into a life of your true choosing and not one that simply results from previously imposed limiting believes.
Fun stuff.
So – how do we get this new recording that will change ourlives…
We create it!
There was a time when people thought talking to yourself meant you were – quote on quote – CRAZY! In reality, as long as you are not experiencing other effects like hallusinations or mental health issues then talking to yourself is actually quite healthy. You can do it in your head or out loud it is totally up to you.
The truth is when we tell ourselves negative things we fail to see that is self talk too, it’s destructive and life draining self talk.
Changing the tape to positive self talk allows you to add good energy into your life, lift yourself up, be happy, productive, focused, and self assured. The best part of positive self talk is not only the fact that it can improve your health, your appearance, your relationships, your finances, and your over all quality of life – but also that it really does create a process by which you become your own best friend and that is such an amazing phenomenon because – wherever you go, there you are.
Your positive investment in the fabric of who you are will become the longest living and self serving investment you can make. Because that investment improves you as a person, it allows you to also improve your service to others.
You have heard of someone ‘spiraling’ in a bad way… well positive self-talk starts to change the direction of that spiral so that you can spiral UP in a positive way instead of down and out.
In fact I would venture to say the conversations that you have with yourself are the most important conversations you will ever have in your life.
Taking that into consideration – and considering that most people do not pay too much attention to what they say to themselves, many of us are on an playing flying on auto-pilot to the destination pre-set by our former messages and experiences with others.
TODAY, I am imploring you to take back your plane. Get in that cockpit, and aim your plane to the destination you always wanted to arrive at.
You may say to yourself “but I don’t know HOW to fly this metaphoric plane” – to that I say, hello Negative Self Talk – I wondered when you would try to creep in.
Worry not – I have installed an eject button on the plain so that every time Negative Self Talk shows up we just press the button and Whoo-Shaaa – it’s gone!
You absolutely can fly this plane to the exact destination that you desire… all you have to do is visualize where you want to go, then insert the tape that will provide you the step by step instructions, and affirmations, that you need to get there.
VISUALIZATION
Before we can change the self-sabotaging negative tape that you have been hearing most of your life we need to consider which is the best tape to switch it to. What messages best align with your true goals, which tape will help you to become your best possible self?
This question inevitably leads to another question – which is, WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS….
Now in other episodes we have done goal work, and I am sure I will again, however today I am not going to deep dive into goals, but instead touch on them just to help you select the right tape.
I would like you to take a deep breath in and a deep breath out… I want you to relax wherever you are, get comfortable.
Now, as you continue to feel your breath in and out, in and out, I want you to tap into your inner gifts. Think about the times you have felt your best in life. For me, for example, I always feel at home when I am in water, near water, and especially when I am swimming. I feel amazing, calm, peaceful, light, happy. That feeling of swimming becomes my baseline for what feels right and good in my life. What feels right and good in your life?
Continue breathing in through the nose, out through pierced lips as you connect with times you have felt your best. As you start to connect with that vision dwell on and in that good feeling. Set that feeling as the baseline of what feels good in your life. This helps you identify other great feelings – for example, I was able to realize that when I work in the music and self-help industries I feel very much like I do when I am in a pool. I understand my calling is to help people improve their personal and professional lives, and to help Indie Recording Artists achieve success.
I know this because when I am working in those areas, I feel like I am swimming.
I also know that when I eat well, go to the gym, go for walks, and spend time with my son and when I am spending time with God I feel my very best – on tops of the world in fact. So, I understand that I need to put aside time for these things in my life.
Anything that will take away from feeling happy, healthy, and from being with God and with my son, and from achieving success in my chosen professions is something I can not allow in my life. This includes negative self talk. And anything that amplifies these beautiful blessings in my life I want more of, this includes positive self talk, in fact I realize positive self talk is a very vital piece to achieving success, health, wealth, great habits, great relationships, true lasting legacy, and soul enrichment in my life, and thus it becomes an area I realize I must deliberately focus on every day.
When you consider your baseline, what goals do you have for your life?
What lifestyle, habits, relationships, health level, impact do you want to achieve while alive? Your self-talk should boost those goals and keep you focused on them, while also validating you exactly where you are – this is real work we are doing here folks and it is no joke.
Okay please take a moment to jot down your goals.
For example – my goals include:
1. Launching my new platform this week.
2. Maintaining a consistent podcast schedule
3. Loosing weight
4. Maintaining an inner calm in all situations and reducing stress
5. Sleeping better and more regularly
6. Spending quality time with my son and with my mom
7. Letting past hurts go so I can focus forward at all times.
Those are some examples.
You may also say something as tangible as launch my company and start earning $10,000 a day starting this week.
Then you create the tape that supports those goals.
For example if your tape usually says – one more Netflix show at night, and your goal is better and longer sleep, then your tape needs to change to “I am going to do my bedtime routine early, then read and unwind, and when it’s time I will put down by book and sleep.” Knowing that screen time right before sleep impacts your REM and that it also encourages you to stay up, this new tape will help you create a healthier habit that aligns with your goals.
Now, much like affirmations, you need to write the messages on your new tape down so that you can repeat them every morning, afternoon, evening – as many times as you need. In fact, every time a negative message comes up that threatens to sabotage your clearly stated goals, you use your positive message to press eject and rid your plane of that sabotaging energy. This is not a game, this is your life, and if something is not there to improve you it’s gone!
Let’s say your goal is to make more money, but when you sit to develop your business your old tape says “go get a snack” or “call a friend” or “have a drink” or “have a nap” or “watch tv” or anything that is meant to distract you from your true calling – you already know, you are to quickly press the eject button and replace that tape with “I love working on my business, I am so excited to provide such a valuable service to people. I know that my business is going to be such a great success that I can not waste not even a minute of time, the sooner I start it the sooner I can fully live my calling and earn the money that provides me the life I desire and deserve.” Yesssss doesn’t that feel sooooo much nicer than the deadly sin that sloth will try and entice you to engage in. All distractions are meant to pull you from your purpose. Do not even give them a thought – hit eject, hit eject and hit it fast. Then press play on affirmative messages and enjoy a healthy happy focused and productive day.
Offence
They say the best defense in offense – so one way to always have the eject button ready and near by for when ever a pesky negative self talking monster pops up, is to actually write out the damaging messages you tell yourself – this process may hurt, but it will also be very eye opening, and if you considered objectively where a message like that would lead someone in their life, you may start to see why your life is not exactly where you want it to be. Don’t worry, we are fixing that now.
Once you have written out the negative messages on your current tape, you can create counter messages that are healthy, that move you in the direction of your goals, and that shut down and eject that negative message all together.
Even if there is no obvious counter because perhaps it’s an area where you do not have goals but instead need self acceptance, self love, and personal grate – then you can counter it with an affirmation of self love.
For example if you often tell yourself you are worthless – you may not have a goal to be valuable, which makes sense because you are in fact already valuable, but instead you need to eject the lie that you are worthless, and replace it with an affirming and uplifting TRUTH which is that you are very valuable, that you are here for a purpose, that you are committed to doing the work to find and fulfill your purpose and that through doing that you will be able to leave a lasting impact in the world through hearts you touch, through lives you help improve, everything you do small and large is helping create a better world, the world needs you, you are valuable.
Now, I want you to be brave and begin to write a tape that will eject and over ride all negativity, and that will affirm the positive goals you have for your life.
BIG BOSS VIBEZ
Usually I do a special segment called big boss vibes where I take the life lesson we just covered and I apply it to business. However, this skill is used exactly the same in business.
If you want to achieve greater success faster in business you need to speak positively to yourself. You need clear goals and you need to fill yourself with a routine of positive self talk that helps you manifest and align with your goals and the lifestyle you desire.
If you are in a position of power, as an executive, a manger, a business owner or board member, in fact everyone in the company needs to not only pay attention to the messages they give themselves, but to how they are treating others. If you put down your staff or co-workers, if you are unkind, or say damaging things, know that you could be setting off a cycle of negative self talk and self sabotage within someone else, and that is not something I would feel comfortable doing to anyone.
So be aware of the fact that the tongue and the pen are very powerful things. You speak things into existence, and you think things into existence.
Now is the time to take charge of what you say, think, and create into existence.
The same power that can be used to destroy can be used to build.
Today I helped to put you on a journey of building where you may previously have destroyed.
I hope you will use the lessons here to manifest the most beautiful abundant fulfilling life possible.
GODS N Goddesses
Today I will take you through a relaxing guided meditation that will help you reduce stress and anxiety and calm your nervous system.
As always, we will begin with some deep breathing.
In through the nose, out through kissing lips…
In through the nose, and out through kissing lips… continue to breath as you move your body into a comfortable position.
This is your time to relax.
It is your special moment – the gift of time just for your.
And breath in through the nose
And out through the lips.
As you listen to my voice, you are becoming more, and more relaxed.
In through your nose
Out through your lips
I want you to picture yourself already living the life of your dreams
The life you outlined today with all your goals achieved
How do you feel
What is that feeling you have as you see yourself as your very best
When messages would you say to that person
Maybe good job, or I’m so proud of you, or I knew you could do it.
What other positive messages do you think helped you get to that moment where you achieved everything your heart desired?
Feel the beautiful messages penetrating into you, radiating out of you, glowing all around you.
Feel your calm, your joy, your peace.
Consider who you were able to help and happy they are.
Breath in through nose
And out through pierced lips
In through nose
And out through pierced lips
Now think about the legacy you will leave – and how fulfilled and self-assured your spirit is.
That’s amazing… and as we wrap up this episode, continue to dwell in that feeling of gratitude, affirmation, abundance, joy, peace, and fulfillment.
Continue to feel your impending accomplishments as if you are experiencing them in this moment.
Dwell in joy as you breath in through the nose, and out through pierced lips.
Once you have completed your meditation, write your new tape, keep it with you, and action this plan – then follow me on Instagram right away @JessicaVibez with a z and when you start to see the phenomenal power of positive self talk, write me, because I want to hear your story.
OUTRO ….
I will be releasing some guided meditations, affirmation, and gratitude audios on their own soon on Blessed Vibez dot com, I may even include some ASMR as I received a lot of feedback from one I recorded.
I am proud of you for tuning into another great episode of Jessie’s World. Please join me in my mission to share love, light and insight all day long, and always always stay in a state of Blessed Vibez
Remember to tune in every week for new episodes, and you can catch me on IG LIVE @JessicaVibez just put on your notifications when you follow me to know when I will be on next. When you tune in, and participate, you are investing in a better you.
I will end today with my favorite proverb, it has given me comfort for many years as I continue to learn, grow, and develop myself – I hope it will give you comfort too.
“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, he turned into a butterfly.” My favorite Proverb
Remember to like, subscribe, share, and continue becoming your best!