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This is our finale of our first season, episode 12.
And I am your host, Brian, along with...
And we're going to be discussing Philemon and Onesimus.
And we've been talking this whole season about unity.
And the last four of these podcasts, well this one included, we talked about Abraham and
Lot and the unity, the conflict that they had, potential conflict, but yet they came out
unified.
We talked about Paul and Barnabas and their sharp contention, but yet they came out
unified.
We've talked about Peter and Paul and Peter, and that was standing him to the face, but
yet they came out unified.
And so today we want to explore the relationship between Philemon and Onesimus,
and Paul working out unity between them.
And as we might remember, Philemon is the one who was in charge of Onesimus, and the
letter is addressed to him.
Onesimus was his slave and came across the apostle Paul, and Paul converted him.
In fact, he even calls him my son.
And so the meat of this begins in verse 10, so I'll go ahead and read verses 10 through
16, and then we will discuss this.
And so I'm reading from the New King James translation.
Paul writes to Philemon, I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten while
in my chains, who once was unprofitable to you, but now is profitable to you and to me.
I am sending him back.
You therefore receive him that is my own heart, whom I wish to keep with me, that on your
behalf he might minister to me in my chains for the gospel.
But without your consent, I wanted to do nothing, that your good deed might not be by
compulsion, as it were, but voluntary.
For perhaps he departed for a while for this purpose, that you might receive him forever.
No longer is a slave, but more than a slave, a beloved brother.
Especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.
So there we have the meat of that.
We'll look at the peripheral verses as well.
But some interesting things in this context.
Yeah, I think, you know, we started in verse 10, kind of where the meat is, but I think
it's an important reminder that Philemon in verses four through really seven, but
especially, you know, verse five, he has love and faith toward the Lord Jesus, toward all
the saints.
He's sharing his faith.
Verse six, it seems like a church meets in his house when you verses one through three.
So he's not just like some like wayward Christian or
you know, halfway Christian or something like that.
He's a faithful brother in the Lord.
He is somebody who had a deep relationship with the apostle Paul.
You know, in the outro, Paul talks about Philemon preparing a guest room.
So when Paul gets out of this chains, he can go and stay with them.
So this is somebody Paul knew and Paul trusted.
We don't know why Onesimus and Philemon got separated.
It seems.
All indications tell us that Onesimus ran away from Philemon.
Why exactly that was the case?
We don't know, but now, having become a Christian, he's kind of coming back to his owner
with this letter from the apostle Paul kind of going with him to certify that he has
changed and things are different and Paul is making this appeal for him.
And I think, whenever I read this, I really think of restoration.
And you have, you know, before this, you had disunity.
between on this and this and file even obviously there was a conflict in their
relationship and and you know slavery in the first century was buried in had different
things going on in different contexts but you know if you had somebody whom you depended
upon for your business or when you depended upon your household or who you depended upon
uh...
to make ends meet and then they leave uh...
you know that would be a difficult situation to navigate and
I'm of the understanding, you know, I've done research for this before, that Philemon
really, under Roman law, you know, Roman law was not very gracious to runaway slaves, and
Philemon did have rights as a Roman citizen, as a slave owner, to really treat Onesimus
harshly, perhaps even take his life.
this is an opportunity for Philemon to rise above that and to treat his brother in Christ
a different way.
But I'm reminded at least just especially in verse 10 where Paul is making an appeal and
sometimes when there's disunity especially even among brethren sometimes what you need is
a third party or you need a mediator to try to help bring that unity.
You know just like with us and God obviously we need the mediator of Jesus Christ to have
unity where there was disunity but Paul cares so much about unity.
that he's really putting his stamp of approval on Onesimus, this runaway slave, and
saying, hey, he's my brother, he's my son, he is a partner, right?
All these different things.
And Philemon, hopefully, will take Paul at his word and believe him and trust him.
But sometimes that third party's needed.
I'm kind of curious about, and we don't have an inspired account of it, what was that
conversation like with Paul and Onissimus?
You he's going to write back to Philemon, and there's some instruction there.
Here's how you should kind of receive him back and those sorts of things.
We'll get into that.
But what was the conversation like?
Okay, brother.
you need to go back and the only thing in my mind I'm thinking is Paul is probably saying
what he wrote in Colossians chapter 3 where he says,
And so I can only imagine that Paul is saying, look, whatever station you're in, be a
Christian.
You I know there's no Jew and Gentile bond are free in terms of how we treat each other,
but this is still your role in society.
So do it like a Christian ought to do it.
Yes, it's really part of his repentance probably what from Paul's perspective was to go
back to Philemon and make things right, you know Which sometimes there's a media mediator
is required or third party But also sometimes you got a hat you got to go back into that
situation, right?
Like you can't leave it at odds and say well, I'm just gonna ignore it You can't run away
forever, you know when you have disunity or you have conflict with brethren like this
You've got to go and you've got to face it
absolutely you can't just leave things broken
Yeah, and I think we talk about citizenship and that kind of thing, you know, it's like,
again, that phrase, the elusive phrase these last three episodes, we got to have the
gospel magnified, glorified, and all that.
And so Philemon, you know, because when Stephen read Colossians, of course, you got the
parallel in Ephesians as well about how masters are to treat slaves, how slaves are to
react to masters.
And if the masters treated the slaves,
Like the Bible says, like Paul said, and the servants likewise did what Paul said, there
would be no need for slavery.
But there's slavery right here, and Philemon is not wrong for having a slave.
I mean, it's a culture.
He's going to treat him right and all that.
But there could be some possible harm if Philemon does not, I mean, to his Christianity,
to his soul, if Philemon does not receive him back as a brother, as Paul instructs.
And that's where the meat of it is in this situation.
Yeah, that really was going to be my next thing from this is, you unity or restoration of
relationship obviously sometimes requires the mediator.
It does require to face it and also requires a reception, right?
Like I have to receive like if I'm in that position where I'm at odds with you and you're
coming back to make things right.
I think as especially as a Christian, I have a responsibility to receive you and to hear
you out.
And to be quick to listen to your apology and your repentance and and X and you know and
and do my part in restoring and normalizing that relationship.
And that's what Paul tells him to do.
Right.
Verse 12.
I'm sending him back.
You therefore receive him.
That is my own heart.
And we see Jesus demonstrate that in teaching, at least in Luke chapter 15, where the
loving father is poised, ready to receive his son.
And when he returns, it's not kind of like, and the son literally said, let me be a
servant.
And he's like, no, that's not the station you have.
And so he's receiving him as a son.
And so here Paul is going to appeal to his brother, don't just get your slave back.
regain your brother.
so again, we have like we talked about before, kind of the hierarchy and relationship and
hierarchy and purpose is not so much that Paul is saying, hey, look, man, finally he's out
of 300 bucks now, you know, because you're gone.
You need to go back so he doesn't lose 300 bucks.
But he's like, no, you need to go back because this is what God wants you to do.
And then on the other side, you need to receive your brother back because this is what God
wants you to do.
they both have a responsibility.
And a part to play.
And I think of the principle at least stated in 2 Corinthians 2, I just pick up reading in
verse 5 where it says, anyone has caused grief, he has not grieved me, but all of you to
some extent.
not to be too severe.
Now some people will think this is talking about the fornicator in chapter 5 of 1
Corinthians, and of course that's for another discussion, but notice he says, this
punishment which was inflicted by the majority is sufficient for such a man, so that on
the contrary you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be
swallowed up with too much sorrow.
Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him.
Or to this end also I wrote that you be put to the test whether you are obedient in all
things.
And and then he does go on to say, now if you have forgave anything also forgive, for if
indeed I have forgiven anything I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of
Christ, lest Satan should take advantage of us, for we are not ignorant of his devices.
And so it's serious business if we refuse.
to receive someone back who has repented, who is asking our forgiveness, if we don't do
that, now we're sinning, and Satan gets an upper hand on us.
Yes, Satan loves it when Christians refuse to forgive each other, you know, because that,
well, in the first place, we're acting the opposite of God, the way God acts, way Jesus
taught us how to act.
But then also, that unity in Christ is completely shattered, you know?
And it's, think, you know, the idea that in 2 Corinthians 2, they're talking about the
brother who had fornicated in 1 Corinthians 5, then he repented is interesting to me
because sometimes,
We are rightfully zealous for holiness and for people to repent.
But in that we get lost.
And then when they do repent, we treat them as if they didn't.
Right.
And it's like we're so zealous for these people to repent because they're doing wrong or
they have done wrong.
But then we're not as quick sometimes to forgive them and receive them back once they
have.
And I think that that's that's really you got to have both.
you know you gotta have that is that that is the uo for holiness and to try to help people
to see that they need to repent but i want to do like you were saying with the father
waiting for the prodigal son we gotta be there to receive them the way i think paul says
is a roman's fifteen receive one another the way christ received you right so and that
requires repentance but on the other side of that repentance that is a full arms open
reception and
And that's what we're called to.
That's what Philemon's called to here by Paul.
You might also just kind of think what you just said.
The same level of zeal with which you pursued that repentance should be the same level of
zeal with which you pursue that unity back in the day.
And you've got to...
not adding an extra step.
We kind of add then, you know, repentance, forgiveness, probation, acceptance.
You know, gotta show me for six months before I kind of really embrace you again, where
that's not the image that we get from God.
Yeah, that's a great point.
would say to another thing we see here, you know, when we think about unity and
relationships and restoration and verse 14, it does require consent.
Verse 14, but without your consent, Paul says, I wanted to do nothing that your good deed
might not be by compulsion, as it were, but voluntary.
You know, that's I mean, it's a sad thing, but it's a good thing.
You can't force anybody to be united with you.
You you can't force anybody to forgive you.
You can't force anybody to receive you back.
You can't force anybody to repent.
So that consent is required.
And I think that that's why you have verses like in Romans 12, as much as depends on you
live peaceably with all people, because there's another side to that.
There's another party involved in these conflicts.
And, you know, our goal isn't to force people to be united.
Our goal is in Christ.
for us to want to be united and to work till that end.
Yes, because it goes back to something we mentioned in an earlier podcast, the prayer that
Jesus made in John 17, that they all may be one as you, Father, are in me and I in you,
that they all may be one in us, that the world may know that you have sent me.
And so that oneness is something that Christ wants us to have, that all of us want to
have, those of us who want to be Christ-like and be
do what he says, we want to be like that.
And so that should affect every decision we make and everything in our lives.
And here's a very crucial thing right here with Philemon and Onesimus, but if we have the
spiritual mindset that we want to do what Christ would do and what he wants us to do, then
we will follow Paul's instruction.
Yeah, that's a good, we'll go ahead.
I was just gonna add to that when you're talking about the choice, Paul could have pulled
the ace card on him.
Verses 8 9 he says, wherefore, though I might be much bold in Christ to enjoin thee that
which is convenient.
So I could force your hand if I wanted to.
But he says, yet for love's sake I rather beseech you, I rather invite you, being such a
one as Paul the aged and now also a prisoner of Jesus Christ.
And so it's like, listen,
I'm gonna let you choose the higher plane.
I'm gonna let you choose to love Christ and therefore love your brother and I'm gonna let
you demonstrate, prove your love or show it, demonstrate your love for Christ and your
love for your fellow man.
Yeah, and that's how God operates.
He doesn't force us to choose Him.
He doesn't force us to do the right thing.
He doesn't force us to obey the gospel.
He allows us to make that choice.
And I think you see Paul doing the same thing where...
You know, because of filemen needs to learn something just like onissimus did, right?
Filemen needs to learn about forgiveness and acceptance and restoration and all those
things where I mean, sometimes in order to do that, you kind of have to take one on the
chin, right?
The fleshly way to look at this is filemen like be upset, be angry.
You're within your rights to treat him harshly.
It wouldn't be wrong to punish him like all these different things.
But if you look at it from the spiritual mindset.
it's okay i've got to receive him back i've got to forgive him i've got to work toward
that restoration and that requires consent because i've got to make that choice myself
nobody can make me do that
Yeah, and it shows the power of the gospel really because, I mean, just like we talked
about Jew and Gentile and we've talked about things like that, you know, only in the
gospel is it possible for them to come together like one.
And then you see what that teaches, you know, like we have that passage in Ephesians
chapter three, verse 10 about the manifold wisdom of God is made known through the church.
And so even if a slave owner and a slave, a slave who's
Separated himself from his owner and we'll get into some of those verses in there in a
moment but you know for those two to come together and Still be brethren or actually
they're now enjoying that brother relationship They weren't brethren when when when on
estimates left, but now they are but just think it should think think of the volumes that
that would preach just the restoration of that relationship from love as a sincere out of
love
and how the outsiders looking in would just see that as the love of Christ.
Right.
Not only that, but kind of like we talked about in the last episode, you know, the gospel
isn't just these facts.
It's how those facts change our life and influence our behavior.
You know, and I think you see that here where there is almost there's a way in which I
implicitly deny the gospel when I expect God to forgive me, but I'm unwilling to forgive
my repentant brother.
Right.
Where every time I repent, I expect God to forgive me.
But when you repent and come to me,
I'm not going to do the same.
And it's like, well, I'm denying the truth of the gospel in a way.
Right.
And the truth of the gospel really is you find that grace and that forgiveness when we do
turn and turn back to him.
So I think you see that played out again here where, you know, Philemon has an opportunity
to further demonstrate his love and his faith that that Paul mentions back in verse number
five.
There's something about unity I was just thinking about.
I'm sorry, would you?
No, yeah, yeah.
So I've always been curious, how did Onissimus and Paul come into contact with each other?
I mean, it could be several things.
and it's like, okay, did he go and seek out Paul because maybe he knew that he could talk
to, know, Philemon on his behalf?
Right.
Was it just happenstance?
Was it providence?
I would lean on the side of providence because anything that accomplishes God's will in
his way will be providential it seems.
But however it happened, the greatest thing that seems like with respect to unity is Paul
wanted to unite him with Christ.
More than uniting him with Philemon.
Because when Onesimus comes to him, whenever however that took place, he's now a
Christian.
So instead of just
mediation because that could have been the thing.
Look, he's a runaway slave.
Okay, what's the Bible say?
What does God want?
Here's what you need to do, whatever.
Or hey man, run away, know, whatever he could have said.
The first thing is like, have you heard about Christ?
You know, I can just imagine, you know, he's laying out his whole story and Paul's
listening to it, the whole thing's like, man, you need to hear about Jesus.
I bet Jesus can help you with this situation.
And so the first thing is, let me unite you with Christ first.
And then through Christ, there can be unity with
this person because without that, the only relationship they have is purely kernel in the
business relationship, slave and master.
But Paul takes them both to this higher plane now, where now that other stuff doesn't
matter, there's no more binding free.
And so now we have to operate on the sake of brothers.
That's a great point.
think you see that in Ephesians 2, for example, the vertical reconciliation we have
through Jesus with God facilitates that horizontal reconciliation between me and other
people.
And it's really, really, really, I mean, it's hard anyway, but it's even, I would say,
impossible to have that vertical reconciliation if I don't have that with God, if I don't
see how Christ does it and how Christ operates and I don't know the love of Christ.
It's really hard for me to show that to other people.
And, you know, to your point, sometimes we put the cart before the horse and we want to
fix moral situations without those people receiving the forgiveness, the mercy, the grace,
etc.
that they need through obeying the gospel first.
You know, and we sometimes we rush to trying to fix the mess without the one who can fix
the mess, who's Jesus.
You know, I'm not saying those sins don't matter.
They don't they don't need to be repented of.
But I was thinking this is off topic, but I was thinking about this.
You know, I studying with somebody who wasn't in a scriptural marriage and we ended up
kind of hitting that topic our first time together rather than it kind of coming up
naturally over the course of studies, you know, and it kind of shut down the whole thing.
But, you know, there's a part of me that realized, you know, if this this woman loved
Christ,
more than her husband.
I'm not saying it's an easy choice, but I think it's easier to make that choice, right?
Where, and I felt, you in that situation, a lot of factors we won't get into, but
unfortunately, we weren't able to study out some of those things.
You know, maybe that'll happen in the future, but you know, I have no doubt if you get to
the point where you love Christ and you love what his word says and you want to live
according to it, that those hard
choices and decisions and acts of repentance in a way become easier because you're doing
it from the right motivation and you're doing it having seen what Christ has done for you.
And it's just a different, it just hits different as the kids say, you know, when you
actually, you know, for Philemon to say, Hey, here's my opportunity to really follow
Jesus.
Like when it matters and when it's difficult.
And like you said, people are going to see the wisdom of God in this and people are going
to see.
It's like reenacting the gospel in a way in your life, you know, with the forgiveness and
the sacrifice and the repentance and everything that's involved with that.
It proves God's way works.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, because as Stephen was talking and as Forrest just mentioned, was thinking, yeah,
when in the process did Onesimus reveal his situation with Philemon, as Paul was teaching
or after Paul taught?
you know, so we just don't know those things, but either way, we do see that Christ is the
answer to it all and Christ is the one that needs to be lifted up and magnified to that
relationship.
Yeah, absolutely.
And I would say, know, verse 15 obviously touches on that providential aspect where Paul
says, perhaps he departed for a while for this purpose that you might receive him forever.
Right.
Right?
In God's providence, so Nesimus runs away but becomes a Christian and then goes back.
But verse 16, I think we see another aspect of kind of that unity or restoring of
relationship.
And that is that I have to see our relationship in Christ first and foremost.
You know, instead of what you did wrong first or what I'd like to call you first or
whatever, I've got to see our relationship in Christ first and foremost.
So Paul says you might receive him forever, no longer as a slave, but more than a slave, a
beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you both in the flesh and in the
Lord.
And it reminds I don't know why, it just reminds me of second, Thessalonians I think it's
chapter three.
where he says, do not treat them, do not regard them as an enemy, but admonish them as a
brother, those who aren't walking according to the words of the apostles.
you know, if Philemon, I think for us, if we forget, you know, if a brother does us wrong
or a sister does us wrong in Christ, we start to forget about that aspect of our
relationship and focus on the hurt or the wrongness or whatever.
But I think Paul,
draws back Philemon's attention to this new reality that Onesimus is a brother in Christ.
And that takes precedent over whatever else you might call him.
That takes precedent over all those other things.
There's something that jumps out in this passage when you just said that we have to see, I
can't remember how you phrased it, basically what we're focused on, what we kind of see
before us in the forefront.
And in this short book, it's not very many verses at all.
Paul mentions Jesus 10 times in this passage, and he mentions the phrase love or beloved
six times.
And so I remember the same thing in 1 Corinthians chapter 1 where there's this division
and over and again he's mentioning Jesus Christ, the Lord Jesus, the Lord Jesus Christ is
over and over and over.
And whether or not it's intentional on Paul's part or just intentional on the Holy
Spirit's part to have that in there, the fact that you have, there is some potential
division or actual division and then just soaked in the pages is the name of Jesus.
over and over over.
And it's like, okay, alright, Holy Spirit, what are you trying to help us to see?
I want you to see Christ.
Yeah, you got a brother, yeah, you got division in 1 Corinthians, here you have, yeah, you
may be out of some stuff, yeah, you may have a runaway.
You may have other slaves who saw that and may be inclined to rebel or whatever.
But it's like, hey, hey, hey, before you look at all that kind of stuff, you need to see
Jesus.
You need to see Jesus.
And that just, it really...
puts a great impression on my mind that when I have conflict with my brothers, for me at
least, very often is the case, I see, you know, what was his motivation?
Why would he do something like that?
What about our relationship?
Man, we're supposed to be friends.
Why would you do that?
So I started assigning all this harm to his motivation and what I'm gonna do and then what
if he says, okay, see Jesus here and then let that guy, whatever decision or thoughts that
I have after that.
That's a point.
Yeah, Jesus and love, as you mentioned, key words in Philemon, and that's really the key
to living the Christian life.
Jesus and love.
You know, remember the greatest commandment?
And the second one, I can do it.
Right.
So, and we see that here as Paul is appealing to that.
Yeah, for sure.
And I think just to throw verse 18 in there too, verses 17 and 18, it says, then you count
me as a partner, receive him as you would me, which is, you know, Paul's really sticking
his neck out for Onesimus.
And then verse 18 is interesting, but if he has wronged you or owes you anything, put that
on my account.
And I think that there's this realization, sometimes we don't want to forgive people or,
you know, reconcile the relationship because we still feel like we're owed something.
Right.
And if like, if I forgive you, and we have our relationship restored, I might not ever,
from my perspective, get what I lost back.
And sometimes that'll keep me from doing it.
Because like, wait a second, before I can accept you back, I need you to jump through
these hoops over here, right above and beyond just repenting of whatever you need to
repent of.
I of course, restitution can be a part of repentance, but sometimes it's impossible to
restore what has been taken or what has been lost or, you know, whatever may be the case.
So I think that that is something we have to keep in mind.
If we want to get even or get paid back more than we want to get our brother back, we're
not going to we're not going to be united.
We're not going to have that that restoration.
And so, Paul, you know, I think.
It's kind of rhetorical.
doubt Philemon was like, okay, here's what you owe me Paul.
Next time Paul came into his house, and it's Paul's way of saying like, hey, sometimes you
do kind of have to take one on the chin for the sake of unity and you're not going to get
back everything you're owed by other people, but you're still going to have to be called
to love them and forgive them and have that relationship with them.
That's not easy, man.
Just when you said that, just, man, they got me stepped on feet, knees, you got me all the
way up the legs.
I'm just thinking about various relationships that I've had where I have felt wronged and
the person may repent or whatever, the relationship may be restored, but in the back of my
mind, I have a ledger.
I'm still thinking, you
Well, there was a six bucks between us, know, or whatever the case, you know, I'm still
kind of keeping it.
And my favorite book of the Bible is Ephesians.
And one of the chapters in there I love to read so much just kind of hit me square in the
eyes when you were reading.
I'm thinking in chapter four, 31 and 32, he says, let all bitterness and wrath and anger
and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice and be kind one to
another, tender hearted.
forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven you.
when I look at my brother and I have a ledger, does God have a ledger for me?
And does he, you know, put it in my face and rub my nose in it, you know, or do I expect
God to be that loving father in Luke 15 every time and hug me and love me, smell like the
pig swine and receive me and dress me again?
But then when my brother comes back, he has to come back as the slave and work off his
debt.
Well, and the thing is too, you do have a ledger.
And like your brother's ledger, it's been paid in full.
Yeah.
Right.
And that's the beauty of the gospel where it's like, yeah, you did have a ledger, but I
paid it for you, God says, and my son, Jesus Christ.
you know, especially if our brother repents, those sins, you know, they've been paid for,
not by him.
You know, if we had to pay for our own sins, we'd be out of luck.
But, you know, the same way God was willing to accept me.
I'm accepting him and like you said, that's not easy man, that's really not easy.
And there's the Old Testament expression about, your sins I will remember no more, this
repeated again in the New Testament.
And the remember no more doesn't, I mean, God is omniscient, He still knows, but the point
is He doesn't hold those against us anymore.
They are gone.
And so when our brother repents, we should not hold those against him anymore.
But again, it's easier said than done.
But it can be done if we follow the example of Christ.
Amen.
Absolutely.
And that's the thing, too, you know, if we I think it all goes back to the first episode.
You know, when we talk about Ephesians four and desiring that unity and having that
humility and having that love and all those things, if that's absent, none of this works.
Right.
If you take Christ out of the picture, none of this works.
If you take what Christ has purchased for us out of the picture, none of this works.
It's all.
only possible through him and like Stephen says that's why the the Bible is telling us hey
look at Jesus look at Jesus look at Jesus look at Jesus because like Jesus said in John 15
without me you can do nothing and that's true that's true
I can just hear these words that Paul said, Jesus saying these.
And if he's wronged you and owed you all, put it on my account.
So even if you have wronged me and you repent, it's like, Jesus chalk that up, I paid for
it.
That hits you kind of different right now reading this,
sure.
Wow.
Well, Philemon and Onesimus do show us some great points, great qualities, great
characteristics about being united.
And as we see this, and as we can continue to study this on our own, but it's just a great
testament.
And of course, I always like to know how it ended, you know.
always like to see that reunion.
In fact, when we first started this, thought, wow, that's one of those reunions I would
love to see.
we don't have that.
We'll know about it better by and by, as the Lord's will.
But we appreciate you bearing with us this first season of our podcast, Florida School of
Preaching Harvester podcast.
And of course, we look forward to having many more seasons.
And I appreciate Stephen and Forrest being patient with me as we start this out.
And it will just get better as time goes on.
But we look forward to having our second season, and so be looking for that in a week or
two after this.
and we thank you for listening.