Everyday Judaism · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

Summary

The Everyday Judaism Podcast by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe is dedicated to learning, understanding and appreciating the greatness of Jewish heritage and the Torah through the simplified, concise study of Halacha, Jewish Law, thereby enhancing our understanding of how Hashem wants us to live our daily lives in a Jewish way.

Download & Print the Everyday Judaism Halacha Notes: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1RL-PideM42B_LFn6pbrk8MMU5-zqlLG5?usp=sharing

Recorded in the TORCH Centre - Studio B to a live audience on May 30, 2023, in Houston, Texas.
Released as Podcast on February 12, 2024
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What is Everyday Judaism · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe?

The Everyday Judaism Podcast (formerly Living Jewishly Podcast) is dedicated to learning and understanding the laws and basic how-to of daily Jewish living. Presented by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe in a simple and concise manner, easy for anyone to understand and connect.
This Podcast Series is Generously Underwritten by Marshall & Doreen Lerner.

00:01 - Intro (Announcement)
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe, director of TORCH, The Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston. This is the Jewish Inspiration Podcast.

00:12 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Alright, welcome back everybody to the Mussar Masterclass. Today we're going to discuss a new topic, but also continuing with the halachas that we were talking about Previously. We talked about the halachas of good character traits, we spoke about the halachas of proper speech, and now we are going to talk about the halachas of intentions that one's intentions should be for the sake of heaven. One's intentions should be for the sake of heaven. What does that mean? So there's a verse in Proverbs, chapter 3, verse 6, which says the following the chal drache chode'ayhu in all of your ways, no ha'Shem, no ha'Shem. Our sages of blessed memories said what is a small or a short passage upon which all the fundamentals of Torah depend? It is this bechal drache chode'ayhu, in all of your ways. You must know ha'Shem, which means sh'afilu bedrache, chosha'at'a osal'a tsorch gufchah, that even in your own paths, when you are engaged with your own physical needs, da'a'a'es ha'Shem, no ha'Shem. You should know ha'Shem in everything that you do. Ve'ase'e as advarn l'shmoyiz borach, and do the things that you do for the sake of ha'Shem. May his name be blessed. Kigon, for example, ha'chilavashdi'ah, eating and drinking, ve'al'i chavayishiva, and walking and sitting and going to sleep and arising, engaging in relations, in conversing with others, call tsorch gufchah. In all of your physical needs, all of them should be performed in the service of our Creator or to accomplish something that will enable that service of ha'Shem. You see, the world that we live in divides things up. Now I'm going to synagogue, so now I'm going to do my thing, but when I'm eating, I'm just eating. When I'm doing business, I'm it's just business. No, no, no, no, no Say, just tell us bi'chol droch'ech'ode'e'ehu. You have to know ha'Shem within everything that you do, in every action that you're busy with. You're busy negotiating contracts da'a'ehu no, ha'shem. You're on the beach vacationing with your spouse da'a'ehu no, ha'shem.

03:01
A person should never be in a situation in their life where they forget about ha'Shem, where they don't recognize that there's a ha'Shem. I remember my first time going to Mexico with my wife on vacation, first time. It's not like I go wherever, you know what I'm saying. So I was there and I remember the first time I ate there there's kosher restaurants there and I remember I was like you know what? It's amazing, the same ha'Shem that I praise when I'm in Jerusalem, the same ha'Shem that I praise when I am in Houston, the same ha'Shem I praise when I'm in Mexico. Ha'shem is everywhere. The aesthetics might change, but the God, creator of heaven and earth, is everywhere. But there's even more than that, not only when we eat and drink, it's not only that. We should know that there's a ha'Shem in front of us Sheevit the ha'Shem, the negdi, the tamid, the shahab, the placement of God right before my eyes at all times. Not only that, but we should do it for the sake of serving ha'Shem.

04:11
You see, let's take vacation, for example. We mentioned vacation. Let's talk about it for a second. Vacation can be a very, very holy thing. Because why are we vacationing? To re-energize, so we can continue to serve ha'Shem. If we continue working, working, working, working and we don't take that break, we can blow a tire, we can burn out. A person has to take a break so that they can maintain their positive outputs for the sake of the Almighty. A person who works non-stop is going to burn out. So our sages already tell us how important it is. There's a time, like Yom Tuf holidays, to take it easy we have today. There are people who are like, oh, I better use up my vacation days or I lose them. So vacation is not even a time to relax, it's like a chore. I have to do it. June 1st we go on vacation. No, it should be that I need to re-energize myself to serve ha'Shem, and then the entire vacation is one big mitzvah. And while you're on that vacation, it's not that we disengage from the Almighty. On the contrary, we bring the Almighty with us and we dive in three times a day. Our schedule is a little lighter, but everything that we do should be with the recognition with it, with the cognizance of Hashem's presence at all times.

05:45
I was once on vacation and at the kosher restaurant we met this nice Jewish couple. And where are you from? I'm not going to say where they're from. They're from a larger Jewish community than Houston and typical, seemingly normal Jews and seemingly Torah observant as well. But then they asked us information when are we going? We said, oh, tomorrow we're going to this in this place. We have tickets. We got to go to this in this attraction and they said, oh, maybe we'll come, do you mind if we come? I said you can do what you want, no problems, we don't own the rides, we don't own the. You know the place. You can do whatever you want. You want to come with us? Come with us. We'll tell you when we're going In any event.

06:35
So they came, they ended up coming with us and it was a little bit of a shock to me, because this first halacha that the Ketzerschachner brings here to know God in every place that you are may have been overlooked by these people in the way they were dressed, particularly the woman. So she would never walk around her community like that. She would never walk around any place where there is other people like that. But I'm away from everyone. I'm on vacation, I can do what I want. It's a little bit of a sense of like God's not here, right? He doesn't see me here, he only sees me when I'm in Brooklyn. No, heaven forbid. We have to recognize that God is everywhere and just because my environment, my culture, my people may not be here with me, hashem is everywhere and it shouldn't change the standard of our commitment. On the contrary, it should strengthen. Because there's a weak environment, we have to strengthen ourselves. So now we're going to elaborate a little bit on these activities that we mentioned previously.

07:59
How should one eat and drink in the service of Hashem Ain't sahrichlomer? It goes without saying that one may not eat or drink that which is forbidden, god forbid, right. No one can eat things that are not kosher. So that we're not talking about. We're not talking about. Oh, you should eat kosher food. That's obvious. So what are we talking about? It says to serve Hashem when you eat and drink as well. How do we go about doing that? It says, rather, the supplies, even when eating and drinking that which is permitted, and when eating and drinking due to thirst or hunger.

08:38
If one ate or drank for his own pleasure, it is not commendable. Rather, his intention with his eating and drinking should be that he have the strength to serve his Creator. Therefore, he should not eat only all that his palate desires, that which tastes good to him, that which looks good to him like a dog or a donkey. They see food. They eat food. Rather, he should eat things that are beneficial and good for physical health. There are men of good deeds who, before they eat, declare he didn't eat, wrote, said I want to eat and drink now so that I can be healthy and strong. Why? For the service of my Creator. May his name be blessed. So what they're doing is they're taking this food with the intention and with the purpose and with the focus that this food is here to give me strength so that I can serve God. Yeah, it can taste delicious. God wants it to taste delicious.

09:54
In fact, we talked this morning in the Parsha review podcast, parsha's Nusso. We said that the Nuzzer, after he finished his period of abstaining from physical, worldly pleasures, which was a minimum of 30 days, he had to bring an offering. What type of offering? A sin offering? Why a sin offering? God gives you pleasures and you limit yourself from them. God wants you to enjoy and you're limiting yourself. That's not what God has in mind. That's similar to sinning against the Almighty. Or in fact, as our say just tell us it is an actual sin for one to derive themselves from pleasure. So we're not saying here that a person should minimize his eating.

10:52
But how do we make it? You ready for this word? How do we holify? How do we make it holy? It's my own word, I can make up words. How do we make it holy? We're eating anyway, you're going to satiate your body anyway. We can just add a little bit of intention, a little bit of focus to the food we eat, that it not just be to fill up our desires, but rather to serve Hashem. It's just a little change of intention, which is the topic of tonight's class. It's about the intention. So why do these people do this, these great holy Jews? What they do is they? Before they eat, they say, god, we might get carried away with our food, but just know what our intention is. My intention is so that I can have strength to serve you. That changes. The entire food now becomes a vessel, a vehicle through which we're being uplifted. So it's not just food, which is to satiate our hunger and to fill up our body and refuel our tanks, but it's now here to serve Hashem. That's a whole different type of eating. There's many more layers which hopefully one day we'll get to when we talk about eating.

12:18
The Hasidic masters talk a lot about eating Not to get fat and to get, you know, fill up our stomachs and be filled with food. That's not the purpose. Our sages talk about this in the sense of how do we elevate ourselves in the process of eating? Eating is a very beautiful thing in Judaism, In fact, we're commanded to eat every Shabbos, or finest foods. You go to the store and you see a nice kosher steak. Go buy it for Shabbos. Do you know what Hashem says, by the way about that. He says that's my account, I pay for it, put it on me and Hashem repays us for the food we buy for Shabbos. Hashem wants us to get the finest wines, the greatest meats and fish and delicacies Hashem wants us to enjoy. There's a mitzvah to enjoy. We'll learn the halach, as if Shabbos will tell us about the importance of having delicacies on Shabbos.

13:22
Things that special foods, the special foods these are food. I do this for my children all the time. I'll go before Shabbos and I'll buy something special just for Shabbos. If it's a certain treat, a certain candy, a certain chocolate, a certain something, this is just for Shabbos. Make it special for Shabbos. Now, of course, we have a lot of things that are special for Shabbos, but for the children to understand there's some things that are just for Shabbos. We do this particularly with cereals. We have Shabbos cereals, like all the sweet ones, the unhealthy ones yes, that's for Shabbos. The fruity pebbles, the cocoa pebbles and all of those right, the frosted flakes, exactly with tons and tons of sugar. That's for the kids. They understand Shabbos is a special time. My children figured out a technique. They tried to persuade me to say, like today's a special day because you know, okay, if it's somebody's birthday that's an easy one, but because we're only like 25 days left to school, so it's a special day. You know, every day becomes a Shabbos for them. But the idea is to make it special, to make it it's not just to eat food, but to eat food and the intention of that food to elevate us as well.

14:44
Allah, number three, how you Shiva, vakima Vahalicha Keitsad? How does one engage in sitting and standing and walking in the service of Hashem? So we all know we all have to sit down and we all have to walk and we all have to go places. So how do we do that for the service of Hashem? Ain Tsarach Loma, shalomash Lo Yeh Shevm Mo Shavletsim.

15:10
It goes without saying that one should not sit in the company of scoffers we already mentioned in the previous weeks about the devastating influence of people who mock others and that we should avoid being in the confines in the environment with other people who laugh at others. Shalomad bederah khatayim. And one should not stand in the path of the sinful and should not walk in the counsel of the wicked. Rather, this applies even when participating in the counsel of the upright. You find righteous people even then standing in a place where the righteous are present and walking in the counsel of the wholesome.

16:02
If a person does this for his own benefit, to fulfill his wants and desires, it is not commendable. So you're dealing with good people, you're dealing with righteous people. If it's for your own intentions, for your own good, for your own benefits, it's not commendable. Rather, even this should be done for the sake of heaven. Now it's very important, important piece of information here Just because your intentions aren't perfect doesn't mean you should avoid doing good things. Well, don't say you know I can't help myself. You know I wish I could give charity, just altruistically, and not want any. You know any recognition. So I'm just not going to donate till I have the proper recognition, till I have the proper intention, sorry, till I have the proper intention, I'm not going to donate till.

16:55
I have the proper intention. A person shouldn't do that. Look, I don't have proper Kavana with my tillings. I'm not going to put on tilling God forbid. Even if a person doesn't have the right intention, you should still do it, but hope and pray that they have the ability to change the intention, that the intention should be righteous, that the intention should be wholesome. Nevertheless, even if one is not able to act purely for the sake of Hashem, he should not avoid these practices, because from performing good deeds, even not for the sake of heaven, a person will come to do them for the right reason for the sake of heaven. So if a person gets into the habit of doing good things, what happens is they start acting in the right way and it has an influence on them.

17:48
They did many studies on people who all they did was change their attire. Today, everyone goes to work in their flip-flops and shorts and a t-shirt. No one's formal anymore. So what happens is the way they act is also informal. But they did a study of people who dressed in a suit and tie instead and their whole behavior changed to match the way they were dressed. It has an influence, yes, so all of those pictures came out? How does that work with working from home? Those pictures came out during COVID, when people were on Zoom the whole time, so they'd be on a shirt and tie up above the camera lens and in their shorts or pajamas below the camera.

18:39
So I say look for me. I have this many times where my wife says well, you're not going to a class right now, what do you need to be in a suit and tie? Well, I'm always on. A Jew is always on. So I feel like it's part of my obligation to carry myself a certain way. So there's a certain decorum that a person should carry even if there's nobody else around. But the fact that I'm doing something which is wholly indignified, like praying right, you're praying just because there's no one around doesn't mean you should pray, you know, in your bathrobe and barefoot, right. A person should be dressed. He's talking to the Almighty. That's nothing to do with people. You're carrying yourself. Hopefully, we all carry ourselves as representatives of the Almighty and as such, we should be appropriately dressed, so that, again, that doesn't mean that we should be wearing a long coat and a hat all day. That's not what it's referring to. But we should act in it. We should carry ourselves in a way that's dignified. We all know that if we go to a business meeting, we go for an interview, we'll go in a suit and tie and like we're going, like you know, to conquer the world. So why does that change when we're sitting and working from home? I don't think it should change. It puts you in a frame of mind.

20:07
I'm a believer that children should have some type of uniform in school. So, for the main reason, for the main reason, I have just one specific reason. And well, first, for self-respect. I think it looks good, but that's a side note. I think the main reason should be that they shouldn't be jealousy among the children, and I feel that sometimes the children are looking this one can afford fancier clothes, this one can afford, you can't afford those fancier clothes Like this is no competition and everyone is basically on the same playing field and kids can be kids. Their uniqueness doesn't need to shine in first grade by the clothes they dress. They don't have to wear, you know, louis Vuitton shoes to school in first grade. So I'm a fan of that personally, but I don't think that I'm generally not a big fan of rules, to begin with, when it comes to schools, to having too many rules, but the kids just live life, you know. So a little contradiction there, but that's life contradictions, all right, let's continue. That's also true. Parents have to be more responsible to not act like children. Parents should act like parents. Parents today, you know, there's this meme which I kind of relate to, but it's sad that parents should feel this way. They have a picture of a I think it's like some chimpanzee dancing and that's what they like. You see it all the parents are sending it to each other the first day of school and when the kids are back in school, that's like the. Now the parents are on vacation, you know, and they're like dancing, so, but the truth is like this we should spend as much time as we can with our children. We shouldn't be with our phones when we're with our children and we should give them as much attention and spend quality time with them. It's very, very important because we're never going to get a second chance for this it's.

22:09
I took out one of my children last week. I picked them up from school I think I mentioned that I did this and we had a special time together, just the two of us, and I sent him into a 7-Eleven right down the road on the way to where we were going. I sent him into 7-Eleven, I gave him a $5 bill. I said buy anything you want, go inside and go, buy whatever you want. You want to buy a Slurpee, you want to buy an ice cream, you want to buy a can of Coke? Whatever you want $5, you can spend up to $5. So while he went in, I was talking to my son in Israel and he said oh, he's having his special day with you. I said did I ever do that with you? I was like worry, though he says yeah, of course.

22:50
I remember we used to go and get donuts from Randalls and go have a catch, you know, and the idea is just to take them out of school they're doing well, thank God just so that they can feel that bond, that closeness, that it's not all business. Go to your homework, go to bed, da-da-da. You know it's like to build that relationship as much as possible, because they're not always going to be little kids. They grow up very fast, I can tell you All right now. So we talked about walking, when a person walks.

23:21
By the way, we have a mitzvah in the Torah that we should learn that. V'ishinan tam, levon echo. You should teach Torah to your children v'eshiv techah bevesecho. When you're sitting at your home uv'elaech techah vaderach. And when you're traveling on the way uv'eshiv techah v'komechon. When you lay down, when you arise, that means that a person, at every moment, should be busy thinking, contemplating, talking with Hashem. It's not just when I'm in synagogue, that's when I talk to God. No, no, no, no. I learn when I go to the torch center and when I sign on the Zoom class. No, not only that, because Torah should be a constant for a Jew Wherever we are. V'ishinan tam, we should teach them to our children and we should study them wherever we are, whether we are traveling. Yeah, we should take a little book along the way in our bag so we can learn something while we're traveling. You're going to the bank, take a Mishnah with you, take a halacha, listen to a podcast.

24:25
We shouldn't be vacant at any time, at any moment, from connecting with our Creator, because what happens when we are One leads to the other, to the other, to the other. Before we know it, it's six months since we came to our class and, for whatever reason, we stop going to synagogue and one thing leads to the next, and we have this apathy, and we know the process of how this works. It goes, then it becomes a hatred, then it becomes a disliking to anybody who does do it, etc. Etc. So it's important for us to constantly keep ourselves spiritually connected. That doesn't only mean when we're in the synagogue and when we go to Torah classes.

25:12
Now, how do we lay, how do we sleep in the service of Hashem?

25:20
It goes without saying that at a time when a person can be engaged in Torah study or the fulfillment of mitzvahs, if he indulges himself in sleep for his own pleasure, that this is not an appropriate thing to do. You can be doing good things and instead you're just laying in bed, going to sleep, lazing around A person. If you're able to do good things, you should be busy doing good things Rather. This applies even at a time when one is exhausted and needs to sleep so as to rest his body from an exhausted state. If he does this for his physical pleasure, it is not commendable. Rather, he should intend, when allowing his eyes to sleep, he should allow himself to sleep and his body to rest for the purpose of his physical health and so that his mind not be too unsettled for the Torah study. That needs to be done properly, and if you can't function properly, you can't serve God properly. Why? Because due to a lack of sleep, you're not going to be able to serve Hashem properly.

26:40
So, again, you're going to go to sleep anyway. You can, just before you close your eyes and hit the pillow, you can say Hashem, please recharge my batteries so that I can serve you tomorrow again, so I can serve you and do good things for you. So it's not just sleep because I'm tired. I'm going to take a break now. It's much more than that. I'm going to sleep now so that I can serve Hashem tomorrow with more strength. All it is is intention. You're going to do the same exact action, but it should be with the proper intention to serve Hashem, not to push God out. God, you're not here when I sleep. In fact, the Havach has many laws about how a person should sleep. You're supposed to sleep on your left side and before you get out of bed in the morning, you should turn over to your right side. And the Havach has an entire reasoning behind it how, for health purposes, for spiritual purposes, a person should sleep in that way. They should get into a habit of sleeping on their left side and then turning to the right side before they wake up. Of course, if someone wants to learn, listen to this podcast, or any listening, and fall asleep like that. There are many times that I'll put on a podcast and listen to a class and fall asleep. No problem, there's nothing wrong with that. On the contrary, the Havach says that one should fall asleep with words of Torah in their mind, and someone should wake up with the first thing being words of Torah. All right, my dear friends, let's continue.

28:28
How does one engage in marital relations in the service of Hashem? It goes without saying that one may not sin. God forbid, rather. This applies even with regard to the marital obligations that he is commanded by the Torah. We know that a man gets married, he gives his wife a ketuba. What is it saying, that ketuba? That he will provide all of her physical needs, her spiritual and emotional needs, and also her marital needs. If he does it for his physical pleasure or to fulfill his desire, then it is a disgraceful act. And even if his intention is so that he should have children who will serve him and take his place, it is not commendable. Rather, he should intend, when having marital relations, that he should have children for the service of his Creator and for the sake of fortifying his body, and to fulfill his mitzvah of marital obligations in the manner of one who discharges his obligations, so we can talk about this in another class, the basis of responsibility that a man has towards his wife.

29:50
It's not only when we're dealing with a physical relationship, but the other aspect as well that a man signs a contract in his ketuba. He's obligating himself to take care of his wife, not to take care of himself. Take care of his wife. It's the obligation for him to provide an experience that's proper for his wife. And if a person does it only for themselves, the halacha says terrible, terrible things about a aridiresva eichel. If someone is like a lion who pounces, eats and runs away, that it's a terrible thing. And we can understand how this is relatable when we're talking about relations between a husband and wife, that it shouldn't be in the same regard. It should be with a tremendous amount of care, of love, of devotion to our spouse respectively, and to do it in the way that the Torah commands us, to do it where it is uplifting for the couple. We just learned about this today, that when we talked about the month of Sivan, that when a husband and wife are in unity with love, it's like twins, so you become, it's like two entities but part of one connecting soul. Okay, so now halacha number six how does one engage in conversation in the service of Hashem when Tsarach Lomar?

31:28
It goes without saying that one may not speak Lushan hara, rakhilos, makri or vulgar speech. God forbid that. We mentioned previously that one shouldn't talk like that El-afilu, lasape, bedivrechachamim. Rather, even if, when, even when speaking words of the wise, his intention must be for the service of his Creator, that is, for something that will enable one to serve Hashem. So when we're talking, it shouldn't be just a chatter, it should definitely not be Makri, it shouldn't be vulgar speech. It shouldn't be Rakhilos talking about other people. It shouldn't be speaking Lushan hara, speaking slander about another person. So we're using our mouth, great. Can you use it to uplift people, to inspire people? Can you use it for words of Torah or should it be used for vulgar language? And this is what the halacha tells us and reminds us that a person needs to be so careful not to allow their mouths to be used for inappropriate speech. You're going to use it to talk. It should be used properly to talk.

32:51
You see, the Chavitzchayim, our sages, tell us the people who are around the Chavitzchayim I've heard said that the Chavitzchayim was a big schmoozer. We think the Chavitzchayim oh, he wrote the book of Lushan hara and how you shouldn't speak inappropriately about other people. He probably didn't talk to anybody. He didn't like anybody. Oh, what, what, what? Right there, nobody should talk to me. But we see that it's not how he lived his life.

33:17
Chavitzchayim was a very talkative person, but he was very, very careful to use his words for positive and not to talk about other people and not to go around peddling bad information about people. Oh, did you hear this guy? Did you hear that guy? You always have that guy in a shul, perhaps, maybe you know running around by the kid that's telling everybody pieces of information of the he heard from this, I heard from that. That's a peddler. That's a peddler of words, and that's what the Torah tells us not to do. You shouldn't be a peddler of information about other people.

33:56
Okay, and what does that do? What does that do? Just one second, what does that do that allows for a person to dedicate their speech for the right intentions, for the right things? Yes, look, I had a woman who sat in this class here and she told me she says I don't know what to do about it. We just learned about the laws of LaShon HaRah. And she says I'm just realizing that my friends all get together every week, we meet at Starbucks and all we do is talk about everyone. We talk about everyone, she says, and that's the joy? The joy is that we get together and talk about everybody, and now you're telling me that it's forbidden. What do I do? Well, but you know they're like oh, why are you changing the topic? We want to talk about how she looked at the wedding and we want to talk about you know, that funny person who was there and we want to talk about. You know, I'm people like to talk to people like this and was.

34:50
And I'll tell you, the main reason I think we touched on this last week is that the problem is is that when we talk about other people, we're essentially doing is putting other people down, and that's not a healthy way for a person to grow. A person needs to elevate themselves, not push others down. The only way we will really grow is not by talking about others, and not by commenting or disparaging others, but rather by talking good things, not about other people. Don't talk about other people. Don't get in the habit of discussing what other people do, what other people say the whatever the people see where other people go, don't talk about other people. Did you hear the one on that vacation? Oh, yeah, sure, nobody knows what I know about him? Right, everyone, everyone has you know. I'll tell you. It's really interesting. You know now that I'm a ready now almost three years as a first responder and I get you know.

35:52
One of the things that we learn is very serious is HIPAA, the Privacy Act, about not sharing information. There are many times that people come over to me and say, oh, I saw you in front of so-and-so's house, what's going on? You know what I tell them. If I was in front of your house, would you want me to tell other people? Would you want me to share information about you? Your privilege to a lot of information that you cannot share with anyone. And you learn that even as a rabbi not even even more so as a rabbi people share personal things and we have not HIPAA but we have RIPAA Rabbinic Privacy Act. We've got to be very quiet and you can't share any information with anyone. And people ask and you can be sitting in the room and they're talking and they're yapping and you can't disclose anything, even though you know the story is true or not true. You have to make believe. You know nothing you cannot share, you cannot be part of the conversation. Yes, yeah, of course.

36:53
The Chavitzchahim says that a person must remove himself from a circle of people who are scoffers, people who are mockers, people who are speaking Lashon Harrah, definitely you have to remove yourself from the company. You should be very, very careful with who you hang out with. You should be very, very careful. Yeah, it's very possible that they're getting their values from the Torah. The Torah tells us exactly how we need to behave and sometimes, many times, the laws correspond with the Torah the modern day laws of libel, and all of that is based on the Torah. The Torah tells us how to deal with this and the prohibitions of this. All right, so there's one more halach here, and that is Vechayn keshahu osik b'masav maton.

37:46
Similarly, when one is engaged in business obim olachali hishtakir ba or in an income-producing venture, he should not think about only accumulating money. Rather, he should work so that he should have what he needs to provide for his family. Remember that, not to lose the focus of that. We're doing this so that we can provide for our family and to give charity and to raise our children for Torah study. Why does a person work to make money? No. Why does a person work to get a nice vacation? No, we work so that we can maintain our lives as servants of Hashem, our lives and our children's lives.

38:39
So now, when you go to work, the intention with which you go to work could be a big game changer. I can go with the intention I want to make money so that I can buy things, I can buy a car and I can go on a nice vacation. Or I can do the same work I'm doing but go with a different intention. That intention is I'm going so that I can have the peace of mind, so I can serve Hashem. I'm going so that I can have enough income. And now what happens? Going to work is a mitzvah. Now, the same work that you were doing yesterday now becomes a mitzvah because you're working with the intention so that you can serve Hashem or so that you can give charity. And this if a person declares like people I know who do this before they sign a deal.

39:30
I had someone come over to me recently. He says to me Rabbi, I need blessing in a deal I'm about to close, I'm committing to you a certain percentage of this deal and if any money I make from this deal, I will give a certain percentage to your organization. And it's an amazing thing, because now the whole deal becomes holy. Think of the ministering angels in heaven, should they succeed this deal or not. Well, look at the deal. It's not only for himself. He already committed. He already committed the charity that's going to go to the organization. And then I found out that they weren't only making that commitment to torch, they were making it to several other Jewish organizations. Now I hope the deal goes through, I hope the deal is successful.

40:24
But you see, that's a positive way of where the business doesn't stay a business. The business now becomes an entity of holiness. Where now, when I go to work and dealing with, can you buying another container, selling another, writing another? You know, underwriting another deal or not underwriting another deal, earning the credit isn't. That's all nonsense now. Now you're doing the work of Hashem, because the intention with which you go to work is so that you can serve God, so that your family can serve God, so that you can give charity. That's a whole different intention in the regular mundane activities of earning a livelihood. Kalo Shaldevar.

41:05
The general principle that should guide a person in this matter is that a person is obligated to take note of and consider the various courses of action that he takes, and to weigh the value of each of his actions on the scales of his mind. When he sees an action that will lead to the service of his Creator, he should do it, and if he sees that it will pull him away from the service of his Creator, he should not do it. Someone who conducts himself this way will find himself serving his Creator all of his days. Even when he is sitting, standing or walking, when he is doing business, even when he is eating and drinking, and even with his marital relations and when attending to his physical needs, he's serving Hashem. So, if a person is living his life, it's changing the focus, changing the intention. Why am I eating? Why am I drinking? Why am I sleeping? Why am I working? Why am I going on vacation? Why am I doing all the things that I'm doing? Ah, it's not only for me anymore. It's not for my own personal benefit here. I'm doing it to fulfill the will of Hashem and, by the way, that also applies, like we said, in marital relations.

42:32
Fulfilling the will of Hashem is that we be selfless, particularly man, with regard to this matter. Our sages of blessed memory commanded and they said in ethics of our fathers all your actions should be for the sake of heaven. After pursuing this path his entire life, rabbeinu Akkadosh extended his fingers heavenward at the time of his passing. Rabbeinu Akkadosh, when he was dying, raised his hands to the heaven and he said it is revealed and known before you, hashem, that I have derived pleasure from the efforts of my fingers only for the sake of heaven. I was committed every moment of my life for the service of Hashem. So even eating ice cream can be a service of Hashem. If it's for the right intention, a person can find a way to bring God into our life.

43:52
So going out with friends doesn't have to be just an evening of lightheadedness. It could be an uplifting evening. It could be an evening. It doesn't mean you have to go to a Torah class together, but it could be so that there could be more friendship, so you could remove those tensions that were. You know, show love to your fellow mankind. I have told Recha Kamochah.

44:22
But the idea here is that our intentions should always be everything that you do. If you only change the intention, it changes everything. And we know, they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I have people oh, he meant well, no, no, no, no. Meant well for himself, meant well for you or meant well for heaven.

44:55
We all have the ability to pave the road to heaven with those good intentions. It doesn't have to be at someone else's expense. On the contrary, the Torah wants us to act in the best way possible. Thank you, that's what it's all about. It's not about limiting our ability to succeed. It's not about limiting our pleasure in this world. On the contrary, it's maximizing the pleasure in this world and utilizing every pleasure there is to the service of Hashem. Hashem should bless us all that we should enjoy every pleasure that God gave us and we should use them as a vehicle, as a vessel through which we connect to the Almighty. So it's not just a physical pleasure on its own, but rather it becomes now a spiritual connector between us and the Almighty. Hashem should always succeed our ways in good health, with happiness, and always feeling that special connection, that special bond with the Almighty. Amen, all right, any questions? My difference? No. Why don't they just tell us like this let's say I've given this example. You'll remember this example.

46:13
Imagine someone asks you for a favor and you're conflicted because you really don't want to do it. It's a Sunday afternoon, you want to watch your Miami Dolphins game, so you want to watch it. And you're a big sports guy and they're like, ah, really wants me to pick them up from the airport right in the middle of the game. I really don't want to do that. But let's say you say you know what, I'll do it, I'm going to be selfless and I'm going to do it. It's a real problem. Send me your flight information. That guy calls back 20 minutes later. He says you know what? Never mind, I see that one of my neighbors is on the flight with me and I'm going to get a ride with him.

46:48
One second, do you get reward for wanting to do it, for the intention to do that mitzvah? Of course you do. You will get full reward because you had the intention to be selfless and you're going to get a massive reward because for you it's such a special thing for you to give up on your football game and you did that, even though you didn't actually do it. You did that with your intention and desire to want to help another person out. Okay. So what's your question? If at the moment that a person says that they really mean it, then it would be counted as if they did it. But if they really didn't, and they wouldn't come through with it, then it's just lip service. I don't think so. I don't think so. So I don't know if I told you the story recently, but I just heard the story and it shocked me.

47:43
There's a Palestinian gas station owner in New Jersey who has many Jews who come fill up gas there and he figured out a good scheme. He got caught eventually, but he figured out a good scheme. What he did was every Jewish guy who looked like a Sheva guy white shirt, black pants. He looks like a religious Jew, he has Yamakas God pay us, we're not hiding it right. So he'd go over to him and say you know, one of your people looked exactly like you.

48:15
Filled up gas, never paid, he just drove right off. And he said really, he said every single guy asked him how much did he owe you? He says $40. He has $40 for him. Here's for my guess. $40 for him. Here's for my guess. $40 for him, my guess, until eventually. Imagine a thousand people do that. He made $40,000. That's a lot, but the amount of responsibility that everyone feels as a Jewish person, that another Jew wouldn't pay their bill, I'm going to pay for them, like you did. You sold those people, didn't pay their tip, which is the mensch thing to do, so you paid it. It shows the tremendous virtue of us as a people and it shows, sadly, the terrible you know. All right, my dear friends, have a fabulous evening. Thank you, have a good night you, you, you, you, you you.

59:58 - Intro (Announcement)
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