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If you have problems with executive functioning issues or are curious about what it is, or you treat patients with executive functioning issues, I welcome you to listen to this episode. It was recorded live on the Wisdom app. Please excuse my clock in the background haha.
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My name is Andrea Welker, and you're invited each week to join me as we share stories, and discuss ways to help you feel inspired, laugh, and grow as you take control of your life. Come sit by the fire and warm yourselves, while you learn my personal coping strategies and self-help tips I offer as a life coach and best selling author, to make it through the long nights ahead. You'll occasionally hear inspirational stories from guests, too.
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Good morning this is Andrea Walker I'm the host of the Sacred Heart podcast and I wanted to talk to you today a little bit about executive function issues, and what they mean for me as someone who lives with them. Maybe if you have these too maybe you know what I'm talking about
so one of the things I wanted to tell you is that for those of you who don't know me - because I know that this is my first show here.
This is a labor of love that I do it is my podcast, I am a life coach and ordained minister Commonwealth of Virginia within the United states and I'm also someone who has autism, PTSD, anxiety, depression, all kinds of different things.
So that gives me some lived experience and I'm a big believer in speaking on lift experience rather than observed experience because those two things are different. I wanted to record this episode because you know sometimes you just need a win.
You just need a win when everything is challenging you, when everything is up in the air, so if you followed me on past episodes on other platforms and you've seen me as a client, you know that I like documenting my health journey. I like talking to you as listeners in the very real way that I do with regular people because you are regular people and life happens to all of us and I think sometimes in this self help community we tend to ignore the fact that we are all human and we all go through things that are sometimes awful or detrimental.
So with today's episode and talking about executive functioning and talking about you know if you're someone who is healthy if you're a medical professional, I'm gonna ask you to pay attention to this episode and I say that because this is something that a lot of professionals, doctors, nurses, neurologist, all the people that we deal with in our healthcare setting right all of the amazing people out… there this is something that we deal with on a regular basis and it's something that is difficult, it is challenging, it is hard and it's not something that is easy you know?
A lot of people just assume if you have executive functioning problems that you're lazy, that you are incompetent, that you don't want to be motivated, that you don't care about anything, and that is so far from the truth of the reality that we live in. It's so far from the truth because I care about a lot of things you know; I care about doing my job, I care about my family, I care about my friends, I care about making sure I have a clean home, and care about making sure that I always look my best.
But there are sometimes, when I just don't - and it's because of executive function so when you have a problem with executive functioning it's because there are certain areas of your brain that control different functions and executive functioning is things like you know planning organization, or concentrating, or managing your emotions, and emotional regulation, or multitasking problem solving, you know maybe you forget to pay bills on time maybe you just know that you need to clean your house. but you can't.
You know or like he just can't get out that and this goes beyond just not wanting to do something OK, it's literally if your life depended on it you still probably would be able to do it - and I know that that sounds like you're really far fetched thing but when you deal with executive functioning issues you know exactly what I mean. Whether you want to do something that you enjoy, or if it's a task that you don't like, you can't do either without some type of assistance so when these things happen you know they affect our relationships they affect our entire lives, they affect all those things that we as people love that make us who we are. You know and sometimes it's caused by brain injury like mine, or sometimes it's caused by a health condition, or maybe you've had a stroke, or maybe you know one of your patients has had a stroke, or maybe you know you might have a condition like ADHD, or autism, or OCD, you know any of these conditions that have to do with your ability to stay and become motivated are affected and impacted by executive function issues and when you look at the DSM 5 which is the diagnostic and statistical manual mental disorders OK?
You will see all these conditions that are associated with executive functioning and the truth is there are so many that we don't I mean it's so pervasive it just gets into everything so we're gonna be talking about that today and I wanna be respectful of everyone's time and I know that this is a live show which is exciting so thank you everyone for listening coming in today.
But you know there's also a component that’s neurological and we don't always consider that. I've worked with a lot of health providers I have clients who are doctors, nurses, massage therapist, I have clients who are all across the board, and so I always explain to them if you have people who are just you know struggling like if you see that your patients are regularly late to their appointments, or if you see that your patient is struggling with day-to-day tasks like personal hygiene, washing their hair, brushing their teeth, changing their socks, changing their underwear, doing these things…
we have this terrible stigma in the health care system that encourages us to believe that when things happen to people bad things were when we see someone doing something… we chalk it up to personality issues, rather than actually attempting to understand that the direct cause might be biological, or neurological or have to do with their mental health you know?
And sometimes even when you have dementia or Alzheimer's you can be impacted severely your executive functioning can go out the window you know and sometimes just those things are really important to remember so when you have symptoms you know, if you're a person who lives with this feel free to join me and talk about your experience because the more people that we can educate and bring awareness to these things that we live with, the more we will de stigmatize us living with these things the more that it will become a real tangible condition that we live with the more that we talk about it the more that we educate the more that we help people understand who we are, the more that we will be able to help those who cannot speak for themselves. The more that we can help those who cannot speak for themselves or whose voices are ignored you know that amplification is important.
So when you have these symptoms you know you've heard me mention some of these earlier, but when we have these symptoms sometimes it's things like: we had trouble with emotional regulation, sometimes we'll have trouble organizing or doing things, like for example we might say “I need to get this project done for my boss” but we wait until the last minute to do it. How many of you out there procrastinate right? Cause procrastonation is all whole thing and if you're like me you're a terrible yet proficient and amazing procrastinator because you have learned and I'm just gonna go out on the limb here that maybe you work best at the last possible second because it's like all the self doubt all the cloudiness that's in your brain just leaves you and you're able to focus extremely well for short periods of time like that OK?
That is a symptom of executive function disorder.
Now I am not a mental health professional, but I have worked in mental health OK? I was a former crisis de-escalation officer, I worked in a jail diversion program. I worked with different seven different counties in the state of Virginia and I work in a CIT center which was for people specifically who were going through homicidal and suicidal ideations OK? So we served a 7 county region and I was one of those people in my community who not only dealt with mental health issues themselves, but advocated for others and these are the things that I saw.
So I want to talk to you about the symptoms we've talked about them a little bit for those joining me late welcome thanks for coming so you know you have trouble maybe staying organized including tasks where listening, or paying attention, how many times is someone talking to you and you just zone out right you just zone out?
Like you see their lips are moving and you're just going and at first like you might be all in this conversation with them you are like ready to go and you're like yeah this is this is great this is what and then all of a sudden at the 30 to 45 second mark something in your brain just clicks you're like I don't care I can't do this and you just kind of drift off and you get that same look that like the cat gets when they're chewing on something 'cause they're bored right? That is assumption of executive functioning issues. you know if you have short term memory issues or you know you can't multitask or you know you are impulsive like how many of you do impulsive behaviors?
How many of you because we all do right how many of you are emotional eaters or you know you're sitting there and you're like I'm just gonna binge eat something 'cause you know I've had a day and I just want some cookies and you don't stop yourself? Well as much as executive functioning issues cause a problem I think personally from my lived experience they're also the reason why we can't stop doing certain things either so we also will have problems problem solving and learning new information because very often executive functioning problems are combined with something else and sometimes you know it might cause you to have problems at work, or at school, or with friends, or you know you'll have mood issues, or maybe you just want to avoid stuff that is uncomfortable for you.
Which at first starts out like a great coping skill of self-care but then it just morphs into this thing where you just avoid everything and you can also lose your interest in activities and things that you used to enjoy you know we think sometimes people are depressed but sometimes it's not depression.
There are days I promise you as someone who lives with depression as someone who is medicated for it, by the way if you haven't yet take your morning medication, if you live with depression you know that days you're depressed you will have problems getting out of bed have problems doing the things you need to do days are depression does not impact you executive functioning is easier but it's still not great.
So how do you as a patient how do you live with that? It's hard right? and our doctors what's the first thing they ever say? Lose weight you'll feel better well you know what I'm 42 years old do you think if I could exercise my way through this I would have by now?
as someone and for those of you out there chuckle it that I I appreciate you and love you and you are my people because for those times that we go through those moments right? we sit here and like what the you know why can we not do this like we get told diet, exercise, we get told all these passive ways of “fixing” our issues but like people are not looking at the right place to fix our issues. They think we're just being lazy. But you know if people that knew me, talked to my doctors, they would be like yo this is one of the most like together people we have met and they are motivated like nobody's business but if you saw their coffee table or their kitchen counter right now, you and understand that they don't get anything done, like I I legitimately you or someone right now who feels really bad about who you are because you cannot clean your house I'm gonna tell you straight out I had a coffee table and I'm staring at it right now and they just full of stuff I need to put away.
I have no judgment for you OK? don't feel bad about it.
Don’t feel bad about it 'cause we're gonna talk about how to get through that and we don't have a lot of time left today. but I wanna just talk about this from a a you know a medical perspective OK so we're gonna talk about this on multiple episodes if you were just joining me today first time thank you so much definitely follow and subscribe because we will talk about associated topics with this again, because it's really important you know and it's hard to get a diagnosis for executive functioning because a lot of doctors just don't know they're not educated you know unless you take a psych residency to obtain your medical license or unless you have spent a lot of time dealing with the brain and its associated conditions, you're not gonna know the amount of time that doctors get to spend on one particular thing and vegetable is not a lot so you know you might have as a patient which is terribly unfair to you but you might be tasked with the option of educating your doctors as hard as it is you might have to be the one just has OK look this is my problem this is what I have I want your help fixing it.
Because how many of us have to advocate for ourselves? how many of us are the unheard people? how many of you out there know that when you go see your doctor you're not gonna be believed you're not gonna be heard you're gonna feel like you wasted your time you're gonna feel like you know you were not respected you know what I'm saying?
it's a whole thing it's like whole set expectations that you have in your brain that has been there because life has taught you that. so you know some treatment options are available if you do have this problem or if your patients have this problem you know you can try therapy and it does work to an extent like there are sometimes where especially if it is depression or if it's if it's an issue where you have avoidance like PTSD which is why you don't wanna do something, therapy can help you, but therapy is only gonna get you so far, if you are brain itself is I don't wanna say broken but you know if your brain is not chemically balanced or if if you have neurons that are not firing when they need to or whatever you could do all the therapy you want but it may not help so if you go to therapy keep going. if you feel like your therapist is not working for you drop them like a hot potato. you know if you're someone who can who can go through your executive functioning problems and not need medication, good on you I did not need it for 40 years.
I had absolutely no problem during my executive functioning stuff daily, and then my dad died and I felt like I fell apart. he was my best friend he was my dad you know and that kind of messed me up and I was messed up but a while so after that I ended up losing a lot of people in my life and very quick rapid succession and it was over 20 people in a two year period. A lot of them were immediate family and that took it’s toll, so now I take medication for my executive functioning issues and my depression and uh I've gotta tell you we've got to end that stigma. if you need medication you need it.
If you don't you don't but if you do don't let people make you feel bad because you have to take it, I'm here to tell you that. believe in yourself enough to know that you're worth it and I'll tell you I take Zoloft and I take Adderall because without those I do not function and I'm not even joking. I'm not exaggerating. You can ask my husband I am useless without those two things. if you have to take antidepressants to manage it if you have to take medications and manage or maybe you need an antipsychotic or something don't feel guilt. if you were diabetic you would take insulin. this is no different. so you know you can also take you know there are plenty of things you can do that can help executive functioning issues too you can do You know just do the therapy and medication, you can also you can develop some different things.
now I am the member of several groups on Facebook for executive functioning issues and one of the things that we all talk about is how bridge tasks really help and I'm gonna tell you what those are in just a second I'm gonna take a sip of my tea. I to encourage you to stay hydrated.
so bridge tasks are things that we do because when you have a task you wanna do it's very big for example I need to clean off my coffee table I've been putting it off for about a week and a half and usually I try to do it every week. notice I said try. I try to do it every week but I'll tell you some weeks I just don't do it. I've been trying to clean this coffee table every week for a few months now and you know some weeks I'm good like clockwork I can do it but if I have if I'm on if I'm sick that week if I don't sleep well lots of things influence you know the executive function problems.
I'm gonna tell you bridge tasks are amazing they let you break things up that are big into small chunks of doable action. so this works with any task that you have that you are avoiding. paying bills cleaning self-care you know anything you have to do, and what you do is the following: you make a list every morning of everything you have to do before you get out of bed, and before you start your day. you get up you get dressed or take a shower brush your teeth you maybe go to the bathroom you get dressed simple things OK. write those down get a piece of paper and a pen write those down the reason why is this: if you start your day with a positive correlation to how much you have gotten done you are more likely to carry that with you throughout your day so if you're someone who is struggling with executive functioning part of that shame and we need to normalize that and talk about that part of that shame is not feeling like you are enough and feeling like before you even start your gonna fail. how many of us have that right?
So what you wanna do is set yourself up to be as successful as possible. so when you have this this list that you're making the whole reason why you're making it is because you want to put as many things as you do on a normal basis on that list as possible. things that are on autopilot things that you do without thinking of things that you know or just part of your day. you can even put on things like go to work come home that kind of thing right? 'cause those are each things that you do and if you check them off I promise you, you will trick your brain into thinking that you were extra productive that day so then by the time you see something else on your list and you see visually that you've got most of your list done well then you only have two or three big tasks to do and you're more likely to be able to get them done. it's a little trick I've learned that really helps me and it's something that others have also learned as well. so it's something to try.
the other thing with bridge tasks is you remember how when we were kids we went through this this thing where we would you know we had to write in school how to make a peanut butter and Jelly sandwich? step by step by step in case you were someone who had never done it before? so that's kind of what you're doing here you want to be able to actually write out what you need to do step by step by step because if you break it down into a sequence of small actions you are more likely to get it done. so if I want to organize my e-mail I write down open laptop do this do this you know open laptop open e-mail you know start organizing organize e-mail for five minutes that's it.
you know whatever it is make small tasks
you know maybe taking a shower is too much but maybe if you walk to your bathroom door and then you get your towel and then you go into the bathroom and take off the clothes you break that down into separate tasks well by the time you're standing there you don't have your clothes on you're like well I might as well take shower. it's a lot easier to process it that way then if you don't. and I can tell you I mean that it sounds so simple, but our brains are not taught to make things simple. we are taught to complicate the shit out of everything right? we love to make things harder on ourselves. it's what we do. so you kind of have to you know think about it from a different perspective that is the easiest way I have personally found in coaching others in working with others in my own life how to make executive function happen a little easier.
it's just one of those things that we do you know we have to make our lives as easy as possible because there's so much out there that we have that is just not easy right now. the world is very hard right now. so whatever we can do to help ourselves right we want to be able to do that. so I have appreciated getting to talk with you all today I appreciated all of you who are listening is such a joy to have you been here. if you're interested in being a guest on my show I do take guests on the show I love being able to talk to others and do interviews with people and find out what inspires you and what makes you who you are. if you would like to suggest topics feel free to message me. if you would like to talk to me about something that you want to give a different perspective on and open to that as well. because we don't live inside a vacuum, and having advice and counsel from people who do not agree with me is also important.
so I value you.
I hope you've had a great day. I will be back soon and I absolutely appreciate you for following along. I'll tell you if you'd like to keep in touch or you'd like to support the work that I do where you feel like you receive value from it please feel free to like subscribe share follow this you're welcome to support my work on Patreon. I also have a blog on medium, and I am all across social media, and if you want to learn about bringing more mindfulness into how you function as a person, I also have a best selling book I've written which is 50 mindfulness exercises for beginners it's available on Amazon it will be in paperback nationwide later this year. feel free to check that out, and if you would like to join me as a client you can feel free to join my website. contact me through my website, or through here and I look forward to speaking with you and I hope you have an amazing day, and I hope today that you are productive and are able to get things done, and if not that's OK too. have a great day everyone thanks for listening.