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Join Rem and Alvia as they navigate the joys and perils of adulthood as a married millennial DINK couple in the Philippines, while also trying to break the stigma against the DINK lifestyle or being childless by choice. We tackle challenges like facing adult responsibilities, managing finances, growing careers, breaking generational traumas, generating social impact, cultivating relationships, and determining who should be washing the dishes.
DINKWAP stands for Dual-Income No Kids with a Podcast!
Are you a DINK, SINK, or DINK-curious? Join us at DINK Lifestyle Philippines.
Rem: I had girlfriends.
Rem: Girlfriends?
Alvia: So handsome!
Alvia: If we get pregnant in the future, we'll
Alvia: delete all of this.
Alvia: We'll delete this off the face of the
Alvia: internet.
Rem: It's a "disgrace" so...
The DINKWAP Show
Dual-Income
No Kids
With a Podcast
Rem: Hey! Welcome to the DINKWAP Show.
Rem: We're not used to this.
Alvia: We're not used to this.
Rem: So welcome to the first episode of our
Rem: brand new podcast.
Rem: I am Rem.
Alvia: I'm Alvia.
Rem: And yeah.
Rem: This is so awkward.
Rem: We're not used to this again.
Rem: For those who are new to this, we had a
Rem: previous podcast and we decided to
Rem: actually rebrand.
Rem: Because we got drunk on our previous
Rem: podcast.
Alvia: It was not sustainable.
Rem: We got drunk and our pockets hurt.
Rem: Because we always had to buy alcohol.
Alvia: But thank you to those who gave us
Alvia: alcohol.
Rem: Yes, much appreciated.
Rem: So now you don't have to give us alcohol
Rem: anymore.
Rem: But we're still accepting it.
Alvia: We're still accepting it.
Alvia: There's nothing wrong with that.
Rem: So let's explain why.
Rem: How is this DINKWAP Show?
Alvia: Why are we on video?
Rem: Yes, we have video.
Rem: Because it's fun to have video.
Rem: We can see our...
Alvia: So that the equipment won't be wasted.
Rem: She's buying a lot of equipment.
Alvia: Excuse me.
Rem: So we need to use it, right?
Alvia: Excuse me.
Alvia: I have BTS footage.
Rem: But we want to explain why we're doing
Rem: this.
Rem: But before that, let's explain what DINKWAP
Rem: means.
Alvia: Okay, go.
Rem: It was already mentioned in the intro.
Alvia: What is there left to explain?
Rem: So it means dual income, no kids, with a
Rem: podcast.
Alvia: Yes.
Rem: So it came from us being DINKs.
Alvia: Literally that.
Rem: Yes, we are DINKs.
Rem: And apparently we have a podcast.
Rem: We had a podcast.
Rem: Now we have a new podcast.
Rem: So a lot of people don't know what a DINK
Rem: is.
Rem: It's not well-known in the Philippines.
Alvia: It was a thing, I think, last year.
Alvia: It suddenly became a thing.
Alvia: Like, millennials.
Rem: Them millennials.
Alvia: They're millennials who opt not to
Alvia: have children.
Rem: Yes, yes, yes.
Rem: So that's how we are.
Rem: When we got married, actually, even
Rem: before I got married,
Rem: I had girlfriends.
Rem: Girlfriends?
Alvia: So handsome.
Alvia: Embarrassing.
Rem: No, this is my story.
Alvia: Embarrassing.
Rem: This is my story.
Alvia: So this is the first and last.
Rem: Don't mess with my story, guys.
Alvia: DINKWAP.
Rem: Even when I was young, I never really
Rem: saw myself with children.
Rem: So you knew that, and you accepted that.
Rem: I don't know why.
Alvia: But you said that you're open to it.
Rem: Yes.
Alvia: But it's not something that you...
Rem: Really think about.
Alvia: Yes, it's not required.
Alvia: I told Rem--that's part of our vows.--
Alvia: I said, "I never saw myself to be a wife."
Alvia: But for some reason, I saw myself as a
Alvia: mother.
Rem: How is that possible?
Alvia: However, I don't know if the thinking is
Alvia: too modern.
Alvia: But when we got married, the urge to
Alvia: have children disappeared.
Rem: I don't want to have a kid with this
Rem: man.
Alvia: I don't want to have another like this.
Alvia: Just kidding.
Alvia: I realized that there's no reason why I
Alvia: want to have children.
Alvia: I don't know.
Alvia: I don't see a deeper reason other than
Alvia: that's what I thought my future would be
Alvia: like when I was growing up.
Alvia: But then I thought about the hardships
Alvia: of life and the expenses.
Rem: We are recording this in 2025.
Alvia: Yes.
Rem: And...
Alvia: It's so bad.
Rem: It's bad, guys.
Alvia: I said that if I have children, I want
Alvia: to be present.
Rem: Yes.
Alvia: Like, the very hands-on.
Alvia: Looking at our life and our plans, even
Alvia: in the short term, in the next five
Alvia: years, it's like, "No."
Alvia: It's like it's not going to happen.
Alvia: So, Rem and I talked about it.
Alvia: Maybe it's not for us.
Rem: When I heard what she said, I was like,
Rem: "Yes! Finally!"
Rem: It's okay. It's off the hook.
Alvia: Yes.
Alvia: But again, even if we get pregnant in
Alvia: the future, we'll erase all of this.
Rem: Yes.
Alvia: We'll delete it off the face of the
Alvia: internet.
Rem: It's going to be a "disgrace".
Alvia: Disgrace.
Rem: What can we do?
Rem: Got into trouble after...
Rem: Getting married.
Alvia: Our parents would get us married
Alvia: again.
Rem: We'll have a walk of shame.
Rem: Guys, we have something to tell you.
Rem: We're not even happy.
Alvia: Anyway, that's DINKs.
Rem: Actually, around the pandemic, there was
Rem: this content creator couple that we were
Rem: following.
Rem: Actually, we met them.
Alvia: Really? I only found out about their
Alvia: existence when you guys had a talk.
Rem: Yes.
Alvia: He's making things up.
Rem: No, no.
Alvia: There's a historical revisionism there.
Rem: So we encountered this couple in an
Rem: event in UST.
Rem: I was invited to be a panelist about,
Rem: apparently, social media marketing.
Alvia: Yes, something like that.
Rem: Because I was already creating content.
Rem: I have a separate podcast and I had a
Rem: Facebook page and a TikTok.
Rem: I was dancing on TikTok.
Alvia: Wow.
Rem: I think it's only now that we're doing
Rem: it.
Rem: Of course, we're trying to be cute.
Alvia: We need views.
Rem: We were invited there.
Rem: So we met them.
Rem: They're a DINK couple.
Rem: Dan and Danica.
Rem: You can follow them on TikTok, Instagram,
Rem: Facebook.
Alvia: On all social media.
Rem: So if ever Dan and Danica see this,
Rem: hello guys.
Rem: But they were in their "DINK phase" or "DINK
Rem: era".
Rem: Not now.
Rem: We are not ready to have a child now.
Rem: But they were actually planning on
Rem: having one once they're okay.
Rem: And just last year?
Alvia: I think so.
Rem: Last year, they had a child.
Rem: So they're not like a poster couple
Rem: anymore.
Alvia: Who's the poster couple?
Rem: That's what I observed here in the Philippines.
Rem: Because there are none from the algorithm.
Rem: They should be showing up, right?
Rem: If you follow a DINK, others should be recommended.
Rem: There's nothing.
Rem: No one else is coming out.
Rem: So they're the ones we really follow.
Rem: And we saw that there's a big movement
Rem: about it.
Rem: Not just abroad.
Rem: They're have guestings in radio shows,
Rem: TV episodes, news shows.
Rem: Which was okay.
Rem: But they were a bit attacked about it.
Rem: You can't deny it.
Rem: That's the internet.
Rem: But yeah.
Rem: Long story short.
Rem: That's what we want to do.
Alvia: What do we want to do?
Rem: I don't know.
Alvia: What's the point?
Rem: I want us to...
Rem: Since they had a child,
Rem: there's no one raising awareness about "DINKism".
Rem: DINKism.
Alvia: So anyway,
Alvia: what he wants us to...
Alvia: Since we are DINKs ourselves,
Alvia: and we know that our peers, a lot of
Alvia: them,
Alvia: are choosing to not have children yet,
Alvia: or not have children ever.
Alvia: So we said, "Might as well call our
Alvia: podcast, DINKWAP Show."
Alvia: Because that's literally us.
Rem: Yes.
Rem: The podcast will revolve around that.
Rem: The concept of DINK, the DINK lifestyle.
Rem: But not exclusively.
Rem: Because of course,
Rem: this will be our lifestyle podcast.
Rem: Our life as husband and wife.
Rem: Regardless if we have children or not.
Rem: Just so happned that we decided not to have kids.
Rem: So why?
Rem: What are our reasons, personally and as
Rem: a couple,
Rem: why did we decide that we don't want to
Rem: have children?
Alvia: Who's first?
Alvia: Rocks, paper, scissors!
Rem: I'll go first.
Rem: I wanted this.
Alvia: This is your idea.
Rem: Yes, this is my idea.
Rem: But, even when I was young,
Rem: I saw how hard it is to raise us.
Rem: We're only two siblings.
Alvia: And you're both boys.
Rem: We're both boys.
Rem: It was hard to raise us.
Alvia: Maybe you're the problem.
Alvia: Not the kids in general.
Rem: And I knew deep inside that I'm not fit
Rem: to be a father.
Rem: I never felt.
Alvia: He can't handle kids.
Rem: Yes, that's true.
Rem: Because my brother, just lately,
Rem: It's like,
Alvia: Oh no, continue that statement.
Rem: The choice of words.
Alvia: And we're supposed to meet them...
Rem: No, it's live.
Alvia: We'll see them again.
Rem: Yeah, tomorrow.
Alvia: If they get a chance to watch this.
Rem: It's going to be ok.
Rem: They're used to me.
Alvia: Anyway, his brother recently had a baby.
Alvia: Very poor choice of words.
Alvia: It's like you described that they got
Alvia: the baby from a mall.
Alvia: And then, we'll be godparents to the baby's
Alvia: christening tomorrow.
Rem: Yes.
Rem: I don't know why.
Alvia: But, fine.
Rem: We are not very good examples.
Rem: We're not role models.
Alvia: Thank you for the invite.
Rem: We are very irresponsible.
Rem: That's why we don't want to have a baby.
Alvia: Yes.
Rem: So, I know that,
Rem: I know that I'm irresponsible.
Alvia: That's true.
Rem: And I'm her baby.
Rem: I'm her firstborn.
Alvia: Okay, we don't have subscribers anymore
Alvia: because we're cringy.
Alvia: Give me one.
Rem: Yeah.
Alvia: We have a thumbnail.
Rem: I won't apologize.
Alvia: It's true.
Alvia: Before we got married,
Alvia: in usual Filipino fashion,
Alvia: his mother asked, "Why don't you have a
Alvia: baby yet?"
Alvia: "It's a waste of..."
Alvia: I said, "Because your son is hard to
Alvia: take care of."
Alvia: Then, his mother agreed.
Rem: Yes.
Alvia: Then, we were never asked again.
Rem: They stopped.
Alvia: She realized that.
Rem: Growing up,
Rem: I didn't see that.
Rem: I saw it in the movies, in the media,
Rem: your friends, your family.
Rem: That's what they talk about.
Rem: Someday, I want to build a family.
Rem: I want to get married.
Rem: I want to have...
Alvia: Is it pronounced marid or merid?
Rem: I'll just pronounce it as merid.
Alvia: I don't know. That's a legit question.
Rem: It depends.
Alvia: Anyway, sorry.
Rem: I think if you're British...
Alvia: Morid
Alvia: I won't talk anymore.
Alvia: Please continue.
Rem: So, there.
Rem: And those...
Rem: Those plans of others,
Rem: or of society,
Rem: are like milestones,
Rem: that are standard for everyone.
Rem: That we all "need to go through".
Alvia: Were you the most woke kid in the
Alvia: Philippines?
Rem: Not really.
Rem: But I feel like I was.
Alvia: I was woke before the world was woke.
Rem: But, yeah.
Rem: Uh...
Rem: Why?
Rem: I always ask,
Rem: "There's something wrong with that."
Rem: "Why do you need to have a child?"
Alvia: While you're eating spaghetti
Alvia: that's in plastic.
Rem: Yes.
Rem: Those who grew up on the streets.
Rem: Street spaghetti, guys.
Rem: But, yeah.
Rem: It never really resonated with me.
Rem: Especially when I grew up.
Rem: I was already getting more aware
Rem: about the state of our economy.
Rem: Uh...
Rem: How we fucked up
Rem: the environment.
Rem: It further solidified
Rem: that, "No."
Rem: "This isn't something that I want."
Rem: Right?
Rem: Okay.
Rem: I would respect--
Rem: I still respect people having children.
Rem: That's your choice.
Alvia: Our nieces are cute.
Alvia: Thank you.
Rem: Our favorite nieces.
Rem: But,
Rem: it shouldn't be enforced
Rem: on everyone.
Rem: Because, for a very
Rem: long time, there was a stigma
Rem: I've been told that
Rem: if you don't have a child,
Rem: you're incomplete.
Rem: Or, I don't know.
Alvia: Like you're not family.
Rem: It's like people get offended
Rem: if you say that you won't have a child.
Alvia: Yeah.
Alvia: And there's this notion that
Alvia: for example, you're married for a long
Alvia: time
Alvia: and they say,
Alvia: "You just lack a child."
Alvia: Something like that.
Alvia: Like, you can't be a family
Alvia: without a child.
Rem: Like, what is this?
Rem: Why is it like that?
Rem: So, I said,
Rem: --I don't really care anymore.--
Rem: As in--
Alvia: He's old.
Rem: No, it's not about age.
Rem: Wisdom
Rem: is not measured
Rem: with a number.
Alvia: Age is just a number.
Alvia: For me,
Alvia: we have a lot of siblings.
Alvia: And,
Alvia: as the eldest daughter,
Alvia: I don't know.
Alvia: I have a lot of younger siblings.
Alvia: And the eldest sibling is male.
Alvia: I'm the default responsible one.
Alvia: So,
Alvia: if it's about motherhood skills,
Alvia: I feel like I can do it.
Rem: Yeah, you seem to take good care of me.
Alvia: He's okay, guys.
Rem: I don't have any complaints.
Alvia: But,
Alvia: it doesn't necessarily mean
Alvia: if you can, you should.
Alvia: If you don't want to.
Rem: Yes.
Alvia: So,
Alvia: the Philippines is still very
Alvia: traditional.
Alvia: No matter what you say.
Alvia: Especially the memes
Alvia: on Christmas and New Year.
Alvia: Like,
Alvia: how many times you'll ask
Alvia: when you'll get married.
Alvia: And,
Alvia: when you're just getting married,
Alvia: will you have another child?
Alvia: Just relax.
Alvia: But,
Alvia: for me,
Alvia: other than the state of the economy
Alvia: and the world in general,
Alvia: I want to,
Alvia: if ever we have our first child,
Alvia: when we were open to it,
Alvia: I want us to be present.
Alvia: Because,
Alvia: growing up, both of my parents
Alvia: were working.
Alvia: Because I had a lot of siblings.
Alvia: And,
Alvia: if ever I have a child,
Alvia: I don't want that many.
Alvia: But, that's my perspective.
Alvia: I have a sibling who wants a lot of children.
Alvia: Because we grew up in a large family.
Alvia: And, it's fun in her point of view.
Alvia: But, I'm the eldest daughter.
Alvia: So, I know
Alvia: when the parents are busy,
Alvia: you'll be the one to look after your
Alvia: siblings.
Alvia: Make sure
Alvia: that they eat on time.
Alvia: That's what I...
Alvia: So,
Alvia: I didn't enjoy it.
Alvia: Of course, I should be able to enjoy my childhood.
Alvia: I'm also just a child.
Alvia: Not that... I know why.
Alvia: Because,
Alvia: well.
Alvia: There's no choice.
Alvia: But, yeah.
Alvia: I'm sure
Alvia: my parents tried their best.
Alvia: But, they were both working.
Alvia: And, their work was far.
Alvia: So, the whole duration of the day,
Alvia: they were not around.
Alvia: We had helpers
Alvia: every now and then.
Alvia: But, it's different when there's
Alvia: an adult in charge.
Alvia: So,
Alvia: the way
Alvia: our life is now,
Alvia: and how hard we work.
Alvia: I don't think we can stop
Alvia: in the coming years.
Alvia: Of course, we have to deal with
Alvia: how old we are.
Alvia: It's like...
Alvia: No.
Alvia: I won't mention our age.
Alvia: But, for example,
Alvia: you decide to have a baby when you're 40.
Alvia: Which is fine. People do that.
Alvia: But, you're going to support a child's
Alvia: education up until you're 60.
Alvia: Of course, you can't
Alvia: cut off the support.
Alvia: Unless, they're working students or
Alvia: something.
Rem: Okay.
Rem: Let's go back to that next episode.
Rem: Because, we don't have time.
Alvia: We've run out of time.
Rem: We're trying something.
Rem: Anyway, thank you for watching.
Rem: Let's continue the conversation
Rem: next episode.
You were listening to the DINKWAP Show.
[outro music]