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What if midlife isn't the beginning of getting old—but the beginning of something we haven't quite figured out yet?
Welcome to Second Opinion, where science meets real life in midlife.
Because the second half of life deserves a second opinion.
Hosted by Rosemarie Beltz—a cardiovascular perfusionist, Columbia-trained journalist, and former broadcast medical reporter with more than three decades inside operating rooms and high-stakes medicine.
Second Opinion brings together a career spent practicing medicine and reporting on it to explore health, longevity, reinvention, and the wonderfully complicated reality of being somewhere in the middle.
Because midlife is strange.
Some days you feel 25—curious, ambitious, optimistic, and convinced there's still so much ahead.
Other days? About 105. You're tired. Your body feels different. Your parents are getting older. Your career may not fit quite the way it once did. Relationships change. The future suddenly feels both incredibly exciting and a little more finite.
And somehow, all of those things can be true at the same time.
We're also living through an extraordinary moment. Medical discoveries, emerging technologies, and changing ideas about aging are reshaping what's possible in our 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond.
We're talking about healthspan, hormones, metabolic health, strength, sleep, brain health, longevity, artificial intelligence, and treatments that barely existed a generation ago.
But more information doesn't always mean better answers and solutions.
After more than three decades working in medicine, Rosemarie has seen firsthand how asking another question, considering another perspective, or seeking a second opinion can change an outcome.
One expert doesn't have every answer. One approach doesn't work for everyone. And sometimes, the most important thing we can do is challenge what we've been told.
That's the philosophy behind Second Opinion.
We look beyond headlines, health trends, quick fixes, and conventional wisdom to explore what the evidence actually supports, where uncertainty remains, and what different choices might mean in real life.
And here's an even bigger question:
We may be living longer—but what are we going to do with all that extra life?
That's where the conversation gets really interesting.
Because midlife isn't just about our physical health. It's about our relationships, financial well-being, emotional health, careers, environments, changing priorities, and the lives we're still living and creating.
Through candid conversations with physicians, researchers, scientists, innovators, authors, and people with something meaningful to teach us, we explore the science, stories, decisions, and unexpected possibilities of midlife.
And sometimes Rosemarie turns the microphone on herself—sharing what she's learning from medicine, journalism, starting over, building something from scratch, and discovering that you don't necessarily become less curious about life as you get older.
Sometimes you become more curious.
What we're exploring:
- Health & longevity: Perimenopause, menopause, hormones, cardiovascular health, metabolic health, GLP-1s, sleep, strength, brain health, preventive medicine, and navigating healthcare.
- Relationships & connection: Dating after 40 and 50, love, sex, intimacy, friendships, family, and the relationships that shape our lives.
- Money, work & reinvention: Financial well-being, career transitions, entrepreneurship, confidence, changing priorities, and finding new purpose.
- Life beyond medicine: Mental and emotional well-being, beauty, technology, travel, our environments, personal growth, and finding more joy in everyday life.
This isn't about trying to be 25 again.
We can't go back. And maybe we don't want to.
We've lived. We've learned. We're not starting from scratch. We're starting with experience.
It's about taking everything we've learned, everything science is learning, and everything we still don't know—and exploring what might be possible from here.
Call it Midlife 2.0.
No perfect roadmap. No pretending we have it all figured out. Just smart conversations, good science, lived experience, a healthy dose of curiosity, and a willingness to look at things from another angle.
Because health matters. But being healthy isn't the whole point of living.
🌍 Independently created and produced in New York City, Second Opinion has reached audiences in more than 90 countries. A growing conversation for curious women and men who believe there's still so much more to discover.
And yes, Rosemarie is still figuring out what she wants to be when she grows up.
Real science. Real life. The bigger picture.
Second Opinion isn't here to tell you what to think. It's here to give you something worth thinking about!
Amanda - 00:00:04:
Welcome to Second Opinion. I'm Rosemarie, and if you've ever wanted a Second Opinion on some of the hottest topics in health and wellness, you're in the right place. Each episode, I sit down with experts, innovators, and even a few disruptors to bring you fresh perspectives on the issues that could change your life, from age rejuvenation and brain health to the weight loss drug revolution and how to reinvent your career. Together, we'll dig into the latest research, question what's hype and what's real, and give you the insight you need to make your own choices about health and wellness. So, if you are ready for a Second Opinion that's engaging, enlightening, and maybe even a little unexpected, let's get started. Today, I'm talking with Amanda Lamb about being a woman in TV and career changes midlife. Amanda Lamb is a very seasoned journalist with over three decades experience as a television reporter specializing in crime. After retiring from broadcasting, she transitioned into podcasting. Amanda now hosts Ageless, a show dedicated to empowering women navigating big changes in midlife. She is also the founder of Stage My Communications, where she offers media training and helps others find their voice. In addition to her work in media, Amanda is a prolific author with a dozen books spanning multiple genres and an upcoming murder mysteries set to release this year. So Amanda, I am so excited. Thank you so much for deciding because I know we never met. And this is, I'm launching a new pod. So I'm super excited that you're trusting to come on to my show.
Rosemarie - 00:01:47:
Well, I'm happy to be here and to support you. Thank you for having me on. I love supporting women creators because that's what I am.
Amanda - 00:01:55:
Exactly. And the moment that I Earfluence, a little shout out to the podcast producers that are helping me put this whole thing together. They actually told me about you immediately when I pitched my show to them. And my background, I was a little different. I was a healthcare provider first, then went into journalism as a frustration for what I saw in healthcare. The pandemic pulled me back in to healthcare. And so I had to figure out a crafty way to, five years past, how do I take everything midlife and some of the things we're going to talk about today and utilize that. So I'm super excited to have you and your career and your credentials over three decades in television. Really, they really kind of speak for themselves. So.
Rosemarie - 00:02:43:
Well, thank you. I appreciate it.
Amanda - 00:02:46:
You're quite welcome. So with that being said, let's go back to why did you become a journalist?
Rosemarie - 00:02:53:
That's a great question. So I was always writing as a child. That was just my passion. I joke that I wrote my first book at four because I have these like stapled together construction paper books with the, you know, the crayon illustrations. I think my very first book was called The Frog That Ate the Dog. So I was already into crime reporting, you know, at a very young age. And then, you know, I got into theater as an adolescent. And I think I started to kind of marry those talents, the communication talents of writing and then presenting. And honestly, I will tell you, I really didn't know I wanted to be a journalist. I remember seeing an ad when I was growing up for Hanes pantyhose. For those of you in the audience that don't know what Hanes are, they went all the way up and they were suntan colored. And this woman's in a trench coat and she's running up the stairs of a courthouse with a pad and a microphone and, you know, chasing a guy that she wants to get an interview with. And I went, wow, that looks kind of fun. So I went to Duke University undergrad. They did not have a journalism program. By the time I graduated, I had done an internship and I said, you know what? I think this is what I want to do. So I ended up going to graduate school in Chicago at Northwestern to get my journalism degree, to, you know, really cut my teeth and learn a little bit about the process. But it's really on the job training, as you know, and started in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Then I went to Portland, Maine, and then I'm now and have been in Raleigh since 1994. And I tell, when I tell young people this story, they're like, what? There was no internet. So in order to get a job back then, you had to have a physical tape. If you, I don't know if you're, again, you may not be old enough to remember that, but there was no way to send your stuff. You had to have a tape and you had to put it in the mail. I decided I was just going to knock on news director's door. So doors. So I got a map and I had two dry clean suits, a box of tapes and a file full of, you know, fresh Xeroxed resumes from my dad's office. And I drove up and down the Eastern seaboard and knocked on doors until I got my first job. So I really wanted it. And it's, it was a great career. I learned so much. But when I was ready to go, I was ready to go.
Amanda - 00:05:12:
Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, I love, thank you for sharing that because too, like when I talk to journalists and when we share our careers, some of them are the older journalists, we talk about things like that and just have the tenacity and just like journalism chooses you. I don't think it's a career because you, we don't make a lot of money. It's truly passion. Like you said, it's that adrenaline. There's something about the story and helping people and empowering people. But also it takes a lot of, what's the word?
Rosemarie - 00:05:48:
Chutzpah.
Amanda - 00:05:49:
Chutzpah.
Rosemarie - 00:05:51:
Chutzpah.
Amanda - 00:05:51:
I agree with you.
Rosemarie - 00:05:52:
Every single day.
Amanda - 00:05:53:
You've got to want it.
Rosemarie - 00:05:54:
Yeah. You've got to want it. And every single day you're in a different situation. It's never the same. You're knocking on doors of strangers and asking them to do something that most of the time they don't want to do, which is talk about something that could be uncomfortable. And you know, it was, it was great life lessons. Lesson training. I, I, I, there's so many things I learned from being a journalist that I feel like I employ every single day in my life.
Amanda - 00:06:21:
So with all these great things, and I know so many amazing women in journalism, by the way, tough ladies, they look amazing, but boy, oh boy, they, you know.
Rosemarie - 00:06:30:
Don't cross them. They're strong cookies.
Amanda - 00:06:31:
Yeah, exactly. So with that being said, with all the love and, you know, the passion that was behind it, is still behind it, what prompted the shift into deciding to make a change?
Rosemarie - 00:06:43:
Sure. So I was a daily grind reporter and I was on every day at noon, usually at four and then five or six, and then I would have to leave a story for seven and 11. And so my day started about 6.45 with texts and emails and calls from my editor and usually went to about 11.45 at night. Now I was off the air by that time, but I was still getting information about what we want to do tomorrow, what's the development on this case? And once an organization, a news organization, sees you as one thing, for me it was you make the trains run on time, they're not inclined to give you a special beat or a show or something. They're just going to say, well, you're the person that we need out there every single day in front of the camera at the beginning of the newscast with the top story. And it was exhausting. And it was also the kind of thing where I didn't feel like I was super healthy anymore. I know you focus a lot on health and wellness. I didn't feel like I was physically healthy. I mean, I was running half marathons, but I did not feel good in my body. And I didn't feel like I was emotionally or mentally healthy because I didn't triage anything. My hair was on fire and I just went da-da-da-da-da-da all day long. And it's hard for me to believe I did it for 35 years, but I did do it for 35 years. And when I, it was time to make a change. I just knew, you know, I needed something. I needed some space. I needed some time to reflect. And I needed to do something that would allow me, as a journalist, I mean, I'm still a journalist, to have some more depth, to be able to let interviews breathe, to be able to get to the core of things. Because as a TV reporter, I was on the go. I didn't have time to get into your story. I needed like two soundbites. And then I had to roll. I was on deadline. So I just wanted something a little bit different. And that's what I chose. I chose to basically jump off the boat and swim. Because, you know, I had a friend, he gave me this metaphor. He said, you know, you can see the land. You've got three free, you know, three meals a day. It's comfortable. It's warm. All your friends are there. But all you want to do is jump off the boat and swim. And, you know, I just said, if I don't do it now, I'll never do it. I'll just stay in this track and retire. And that would be fine, too. There's nothing wrong with that choice. But I just felt like I had more to do.
Amanda - 00:09:18:
Yeah. Well, no, and I'm so glad you brought that up because even when I was doing TV full-time, people had no clue. You have to have a couple of stories. You had your beat for sure. You might have an idea. You go to an editorial meeting, whatever time you had to be in. For us, it was 10. I had pitches, but whatever they would say was trending on social media or whatever was trending, things could switch. I had to go run, get what I need to do, track down doctors and people who are really busy, who don't really want, people don't realize. It's like there are so many things. And then on top of it, it's like you need to show up fresh as a daisy. You look like you've been in hair and makeup all day.
Rosemarie - 00:09:57:
At six o'clock at night when you're exhausted. It's crazy. And I agree, you're talking to people who are really busy. I mean, imagine if somebody calls you right now and says, hey, I need you for a half an hour at two. You're going to be like, I don't have a half an hour at two. Maybe you do, but maybe you want to have a half an hour to look at your emails or read something for a later show. It's just, it's an unreasonable, I mean, we did it, right?
Amanda - 00:10:26:
We did it.
Rosemarie - 00:10:26:
But it is an unreasonable expectation every single day to have these deadlines. And I made it work, but I also am so glad not to have that stress. I know that affected my health for sure.
Amanda - 00:10:42:
Absolutely. And so with that, yes, I was the health reporter. So I'd be in the newsroom trying to do everything. And then everybody was asking me about their health. They'd say, hey, Rose. So I'm like, wait, put that, hold on, stand by. Like I need to answer this health question. But it was like, I was the go-to, and I was like, wow, I'm a real hypocrite. Some things I was doing because I worked also in a hospital. I was still maintaining that on the weekends, and working. And so I'm like, like you, it's just like, and on the outside, you look like you have it all together. And I'm like, ah, shit. This is not, I felt like. You know, something's got to get-
Rosemarie - 00:11:19:
Exactly.
Amanda - 00:11:19:
What you, and what you said, when you're chasing this deadline, it's like your days, your hours, everything you wake up and you're like, and then for me, it was that and being on call. But so you, you wake up and you're like a year passes two years, five years. And then with that, with that, I'm going to segue right into from the health and the whole deadline conversation to what does it mean? We're all aging. We're not getting any younger. And I would think that in the back of my head, whether it was like personal life with family, relationship, a lot of things that women, we do naturally think about. And I'm thinking, what the heck? I'm getting too old. No one's going to, you know, and it's all of a sudden, you know, here you are. So with that, I'm going to talk about your podcast because I love the name of it. And it's, it's a term my girlfriends and I, we use amongst ourselves. We stop. I'm like my 50th life anniversary.
Rosemarie - 00:12:19:
And yeah, there you go. There you go.
Amanda - 00:12:22:
And then, so ageless. So what does it mean to be ageless? Coming out of TV.
Rosemarie - 00:12:28:
Right. So it's really interesting. So the name for the podcast, I came up with on a hike with my best girlfriends. We were just kind of spitballing and throwing names out. And I really honestly can't remember who to give the credit to, but somebody liked it. I either came up with it or somebody came up with it. And I ended up calling it Ageless Colon, Opening Doors with Amanda Lamb, because other podcasts have the word ageless in it. So I wanted it to be searchable. But what it means to me has changed over the past year. So at the beginning, my whole idea was interview women in midlife about not being too old to do anything. I started talking. I had a lot of young colleagues at my TV station, and I would like to think I mentored some of them. But in return, they gave me a lot of energy, creativity, new ideas. And I realized that these multi-generational relationships are really important to being able to move forward. So I now believe that the word ageless means you're not too young and you're not too old. So if somebody says you can't, if there's a sentence where they say you can't because of your age. Don't listen to it. You know, try it. I think of all the things I did when I was young and naive, and some of them worked out and some of them didn't. I failed at some things. I learned from things. And I think it's the same way as you get older. I mean, let's face it. We are a beauty-centric and a youth-centric culture. So women are looked at differently after menopause. We are no longer bearing children. We are no longer, in some ways, useful to society. I mean, I just, I'm listening to Brooke Shields' book right now, which is Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Age. And it's great. And she talks about a lot of this stuff that I've been talking about in my podcast for the last year. And so basically, women over a certain age, we feel somewhat irrelevant, unseen, unimportant, in the workplace, kind of shoved to the side. Well, you know, we're going to get the younger talent in here. You know, why don't you just retire? Your kids are going to have kids soon. You can be a grandmother. You know, all these crazy things. Well, guess what? We're living longer than we've ever lived before. So for me to say in my 50s, I'm done, that would be crazy, right? That would be crazy. You know, beginning back a little bit to the health thing, when I was having a lot of stress at work, I had, of course, the cortisol hormone. And I thought all my problems were related to menopause. You know, weight gain, trouble sleeping, all of these things that we tribute to menopause. And I'm sure some of them were, but a lot of it was stress. And I was eating poorly. I wasn't sleeping enough hours. I wasn't exercising to the degree that I wanted to, but also I wasn't doing the right exercise. I was just doing all cardio. And I just kept thinking, why am I not changing? Why am I not changing? So I made a lot of changes when I changed careers. I now do yoga almost every day. I'm still a runner. I love running. I have adrenaline rush from it. And I have a lot of friends that run. So it's very social to me. But yoga has become my go-to. I've changed my eating habits. I've changed my sleeping habits. And I've never been healthier. I mean, it's crazy. I've never felt. Since I was very young, I don't think I've ever felt this good in my body. And if you would have told me that I would have felt that way at my age, I would have said no way.
Amanda - 00:16:02:
Yeah. Well, no, I think it's a beautiful thing because as we age, and first of all, you talked about a couple of things. I think no matter what age we are, we think we're too old. I remember being 25. I'm like, oh my God, what? Thinking it was awful. And then I was 30. And then it was like this every five years. And then you wake up and you're like, okay, wait a second. My heart and my soul are not matching my body to outside standards, right? So it's like the outside says this, but like you said, I don't know. I'm starting to figure it out, right? You're like, hmm, inside, I know the user's manual now. I know I might be looking, depending on who's the audience, maybe they see me one way, but you're like, I've never felt. Better. And then, like you said, the younger women are attracted to you because I think you, no doubt, because even here you exude a self-confidence, just a self-trust that is naturally attractive, right? And no matter what.
Rosemarie - 00:17:05:
Thank you. And my goal is to lift women up. You know, in the past year I've done, gosh, I want to say I'm at 56 shows now, all myself. You know, I edit them, I record them, I host them, I market them, I do all my social media, I do everything. I didn't know anything about doing that when I left my company because they did it for me.
Amanda - 00:17:29:
For you.
Rosemarie - 00:17:29:
So I have watched a lot of YouTube videos, right? But the reality is in doing that, I've realized what I'm capable of, which is learning new things, which is being curious, which is trying new things. I've had a lot of missteps. I mean, my husband has heard me screaming at the computer at night going, why isn't this working? You know, reaching out to friends, asking them for help. But I really believe that as women, it is, you know, we talk about this, but I don't know that we do it enough. We talk about supporting other women. And of course, TV being a little bit of a, not a little bit, a lot competitive. I was not an anchor, so I was a reporter. I was in the field. I didn't have the same amount of competition because other women wanted to be on the anchor desk and they didn't see me as a threat. So when new reporters came in, I was happy to help them. I was happy to give them advice, to help them, you know, with sources, to help them figure stuff out. And it really worked for me to have those relationships. But the reality is, is we should all be supporting other women. We can't rise and do better as a culture, as a society, if we don't support one another. So, you know, I kind of look at this past year, and I'm just starting season two, but I look at this past year as just an experiment in following passion, you know, following my purpose, following my passion. I mean, somebody said to me, it either gives you passion, purpose, or money. And I said, okay, well, the third thing isn't happening. But I have the passion and the purpose. And I also do some speaking, public speaking. I do an ageless workshop, and then I just do an ageless presentation. And what I talk about all the time is this idea of we become stronger as women in a community if we lift each other up. And I strongly believe that. I've always believed that. I came from a very strong mother. She was an attorney. She had that belief. She had a close circle of women friends that I learned from. I also now have that circle or several circles. And I just really believe in lifting each other up. And that's the goal of my podcast.
Amanda - 00:19:39:
So with all these things, you said so much just now. And with that, with the beautiful concept of aging, also even I think is a mindset, right? Like you said. And the woo-woo side of me is always like, I'm a soul having a human experience. That's like a whole other thing. But even with all this great stuff, but I think like you said, you have to, you know, you find your tribe or the people. With that, ageism, what I found just on ageism, some of the statistics, I'm going to bore everybody, but I feel like numbers, the data, it's kind of a thing. And as journalists, we go to these things. And so to the data. So with that, so just in case anybody who's watching or listening, ageism, just a prejudice, discrimination, and stereotyping based on age. And I looked at some studies based out of Harvard, some other university papers, the Center for Aging, for Aging Better, also the Center for Workplace Inclusion. So with this, while a large percentage of older workers report being subject to discriminatory treatment in the workplace, ageism also appears to be gendered. New research shows that age bias does affect men and women differently, not equally. So it shows that as men age, they're viewed as more valuable and competent in the workplace. Women are 50% more likely to say they have been patronized or dismissed than men. And I think this is so interesting because you here are telling me how you're motivated. You know, as you're eight, you're like, well, again, it's all very subjective because here you are learning new things, right? I agree with you being with the younger people. It's like a win-win. I share my wisdom about what not to worry about. And I'm like, but I need the tech info. You need to help me.
Rosemarie - 00:21:30:
Right, you need people to help you with that. But see, that's what comes with wisdom with age is that we're okay asking people for help, right? I'm fine asking people for help. I'm fine saying, hey, can you help me figure this out? You know, ageism, and I think I read this as a quote in Brooke Shields' book, is the last accepted form of prejudice in our society. In other words, we know prejudice is wrong, right? We know when somebody's racist. We know when somebody is, you know, saying something negative against women, misogynist, whatever. But ageism, we kind of accept it. And again, not to go back to my presentation, but when I talk about ageless and what it means, I say to people, okay, picture this. Marry that 25-year-old that you were with all of that energy and all of that creativity. We don't have a time machine. We can't go back. But what we can do is we can tap into that, those dreams, those feelings, and use our wisdom and experience and put them together. That's what we have. That's what's unique about living a certain number of years on this earth. We've been through struggle. We've been through trauma. We've dealt with obstacles. Things come up and you go, I've been here before. I know how to deal with this. We're not triggered as easily. We think more deeply about things. We process things better. And so, if the workforce isn't seeing that in women or men, they're missing out. I mean, they are missing out on a huge segment of society that still has energy, that still has creative ideas. Yeah, they may need the 25-year-old to help them with the tech. Who cares? The reality is, they have all this wisdom and life experience. I mean, I'm not in the newsroom anymore. I still reach out to our newsroom. I still give them feedback. I still help connect them. Because I have institutional knowledge. I've been here in this market 29 years, and that doesn't go away, you know?
Amanda - 00:23:36:
Yeah. Well, and you also have a growth mindset too, where you believe, I can tell where what you get, you get what you give. And it's also like, it just makes the world a much better place. Like if that's what we're here for, to pass it on. Right?
Rosemarie - 00:23:51:
Absolutely.
Amanda - 00:23:51:
And like, when you heard those statistics, it's like, I'm like, yeah, I'm not really surprised by that. And it's also too, I feel like if we're just going to tap on the female thing for a second, you know, I work in medicine and as well as journalism, and In journalism, they look at you as you're younger, right? In medicine, they want you to be older, right? Because everybody wants somebody a little more experienced. And however, I was just in a conversation, which... I don't know if this, you know, people might be listening, but oh, well, so is journalism. You say some of the things that sometimes people don't like, but I was in a conversation where. They wanted to hire somebody older because they felt like a younger woman was a flight risk. Where, oh, she's just going to get married, have children, and go out, and that's going to be the end of it. And I thought, oh my God, can't we get a break?
Rosemarie - 00:24:44:
Is it 1955? It's 2025, yeah.
Amanda - 00:24:48:
And being in two worlds where, one, where you're older, you can't get a break. Then they're like, well, we hire her. She's just going to get married. She's dating some guy from some tech company, and that's going to be it. She's not interested and going to go out on maternity leave. And I'm like, oh my God, can't we just cut a break? And sometimes these are from other women. So that's why I love when I connect with women who are like, screw that. I just feel like, I don't know. I mean, I'm lucky. I'm fortunate to have a lot of good women in my life, but there's a lot of shit that goes on that I'm like, come on, people.
Rosemarie - 00:25:27:
You know, I know, and I had both of my kids on TV. I joke. I had them on TV. But I worked with a lot of young women over the years that were having trouble getting pregnant. They had waited. Because there is this belief today that, wow, the Hollywood people are having babies in their 40s. You know, that's not really the reality for most people. And so a lot of them over the years came to me and said, I really want to have a child. It's not working for me. What should I do? And I said to many of them, the jobs are always going to be there. If this is a priority for you and you feel like the stress of this job is getting in the way of you being able to get pregnant. And you really want a child, and that's your priority. Like live that priority, you know, figure it out. Because the reality is, is you're not at the end of your life. Going to regret having a child. Well, most of us, I don't think are.
Amanda - 00:26:21:
Yeah.
Rosemarie - 00:26:22:
You might regret all the hours you spent working. And so figure out what works for you. And it is unfortunate that nobody ever says, well, that guy, he's young. He's probably going to have kids. So are we going to, should we hire him? I mean, come on. That's just ridiculous. Especially because today, you know, I mean, even our generation, but really the future generations, I mean, women are going to expect their husbands to do just everything they do because there's no way to raise kids and both of you work and not both be on deck, you know?
Amanda - 00:26:58:
Absolutely. Then how did you personally navigate that pressure to not only look a certain way, but be a certain way throughout your over three decades as a journalist? So if somebody's listening, who's my baby going? So how did you navigate that?
Rosemarie - 00:27:15:
I mean, I would say, not well. I felt like I was drowning a lot. Sometimes when my kids will remind me of something, I'll say, I don't, I don't remember that. Mom, don't you remember at so-and-so's birthday party and this happened? No, because I was just on autopilot all the time. And I, I knew what my job was. I knew, I knew what the, the assignment was and that was to be attractive. To, you know, keep yourself in a certain shape, to dress a certain way, to look a certain way, but then also to be a good journalist, to be a good mom, wife, friend, daughter. You know, I went through, as many people of our generation do, I went through a caregiving phase with my mom who had cancer. And it was a lot. I mean, it really was a lot. Like sometimes I think, wow, I don't know how I did it. And I would just encourage, and I do think this young generation has more boundaries. I really do think Gen Z has better boundaries because I've talked to a lot of young people that I've worked with who have said, well, they want me to do this, but it's not reasonable. I can't do that. I'm going to tell them that. And I said, well, you should, you know, you have to figure out what your balance is. And when you figure out what that is, if it doesn't work for somebody else, well, then, go do something else. I just, I just, I never thought there was an option. I mean, growing up in the seventies and eighties, you go to college, you get a job, you get married, you have kids. You go with the program. And, you know, back in the day before you weren't allowed to say things like this, news directors would have a whole stack of tapes in the corner of the office. And if you said, well, I don't really want to work weekends or I don't want to really want to work nights. I mean, I literally had a news director say to me, I got 200 little blonde girls in this pile right here. They'll come tomorrow and do your job. Now, they're not allowed to say that anymore, but I'm sure they're still thinking it. And so their inbox, their email inbox has 200 whatever resume tapes on it. So the reality is I just. Went with the program. I did what I was supposed to do. I never questioned it. And so what I would encourage younger women to do is question the program, figure out what your program is. How do you balance your health mentally, spiritually, physically with your job, with your family? If you have a partner with that partner, with your children. And, you know, I mean, I'm a much better everything now. I believe I'm a much better mom. I'm a much better friend. I'm a much better, everything. Because I just have that time, space, and energy to really think about what I do thoughtfully.
Amanda - 00:30:05:
Yeah. No, that's great. The beauty of wisdom, like we said, there's no price tag on that. With that, you talked about the news directors, yep, all these conversations and appearance. With appearance, do you feel that your appearance ever overshadowed your skills or credibility in team reporting? And how did you combat that perception where I feel like women, it's more appearance-based, and men, it's all about their accomplishments? I know we're getting better with that, but I think in the visual arts world, anything where you're presenting and up, if you would like to-
Rosemarie - 00:30:43:
Yeah. So television, local television hasn't changed much. Network television allows women, I think, to age, to be a little bit more stoic, credible, not necessarily wearing, as we do, the bright colors and the tight-sheath dresses and all of that. We had people come in to work with us on makeup and hair. And I basically learned really early on what the uniform was. And so I didn't stray from the uniform. I wore bright colors. I didn't wear patterns. I didn't wear a lot of jewelry. And I had a whole, I still, I have a whole closet full of sleeveless sheath dresses that are all bright colors. And then I have a whole row of long-sleeve ones. And basically, I just rotated them. I knew how to do my makeup for TV, which is obviously a little bit different than for real life. And I wasn't great with hair, but as long as I kept my hair shoulder length and kept it neat and kept it blonde, because I did at one point try to go back to brown because I was a natural brunette growing up. My management was like, nope, we don't like it. Go back and put it back. Because we had appearance clauses. So I never felt like it was an issue for me because I just stayed the course. And I just didn't want, I didn't want to have to talk about my clothes or my hair. I wanted it to just be, I'm going to do what you want me to do. And then I'm going to do my job really well. And hopefully that's enough. Now, early in my career, this is interesting. I'd always had contacts and I have very big eyes. And when I was early in my career, maybe I was nervous. Maybe I was, I don't know, deer in the headlights kind of thing. They decided that I looked too young and that my eyes would get really big in a live shot. And they made me wear glasses. With like fake lenses. They weren't real glasses. And it was just one general manager. And so as long as he was there, I had to wear the fake glasses, which glasses are cool now, right? Everybody wears glasses. I mean, I've got them here all the time. My Oprah readers. But, you know. The reality is back then I was young. I was insecure. I didn't want to wear glasses on TV because I didn't wear glasses in real life. And I had to wear them for a couple of years. And I remember like being in a hurricane, literally in a hurricane. And I can't see a darn thing because the water's just in my eyes. And I called my boss at the time and said, can I please just not wear these on the air while this hurricane is going on? He's like, no, it's an edict. You have to do it. And as soon as that general manager left, I walked into my boss's office and dropped them in the trash can. And he's like, okay, you know, you don't have to wear them anymore. But so that was the only time where it kind of got weird, where it was like, what are you telling me to do? But overall, I just kind of did my thing. And I felt like I was always in shape because I was an athlete and was and am an athlete. So that was never an issue. But it was definitely, you know, like going with the program. Sticking, staying with the course. I'd seen many people get called into the office and I was not going to be that person.
Amanda - 00:33:58:
Yeah. Well, and also you're going against your gut, right? You're like, well, this doesn't feel right, but this person's telling me this and this person to their, you know, image people were like, well, you fit the part. And it's like, all right, you know, this isn't really me, but oh, well. So with that, you know, you're, and you know, women, we have this gut thing that is usually right. And so, and with that, how has leaving or not leaving, stepping away from one's media into podcasting affected your confidence? And trying something new and stepping out.
Rosemarie - 00:34:32:
I think learning anything new at any age really stretches you and makes you feel vibrant and excited and creative. So that's been great. And I think we talked a little bit off mic about, you know, dressing, how you dress. So now I'm still like, I do a couple of hits for our TV station on different things. I did one on Monday. For an event, a cancer event that I'm helping host. And, you know, I always go, am I TV Amanda today or my podcast Amanda? And I went with TV Amanda, you know, I went with one of the bright dresses, but now when I go do speeches and things, I'm kind of, I have a former producer that coined me as podcast Amanda, and I'm trying to be a little bit more, you know, hip, you know, pants and a blazer. Cause I also, I'm also a teacher. I teach journalism at the local college. So, you know, that became my like a professor uniform, you know, jeans, high heel boots and a blazer. So I am stepping out a little bit and in my own skin, you know what I mean? And being like, this is who I've always been when I'm not working. And now I'm incorporating that into my real life every day because I lived in a uniform for 35, five years. And, you know, I want to just be me.
Amanda - 00:35:53:
Yeah. Oh, well, that's perfect. And to what I wanted to ask you next about authenticity, what have you learned? What are some lessons that you've picked up along the way about embracing, right? Just being you. Like, what are some lessons that maybe you could share that could be helpful for a woman in midlife watching? For any woman in any age.
Rosemarie - 00:36:15:
I talk a lot. And it's so interesting, again, these parallels with Brooke Shields' book, because she talks about this. So in my workshop, I do a thing. I put mirrors on the table. And I ask everybody to look in the mirror and write down three things that they see. So most of us see flaws, right? As women, we're very self-critical. We have a lot of negative voices. We see wrinkles. We see gray hair. We see lines, whatever, bags under our eyes. If you turn to the woman to your right, then I say, turn to the woman to your right and have her describe you, three things about you. And then you do the same for her. Every single time, the other woman is going to say a positive thing, right? Like she's going to say, you have a lovely smile. You have beautiful eyes. She's going to say something positive. You're the one that's going to see the negative. Well, what do you think when a man looks in the mirror in the morning, first thing in the morning after he washes his face? I think, and I really, I use this. I think he goes, I look good. I look good.
Amanda - 00:37:14:
Oh, we know he does. Yeah.
Rosemarie - 00:37:16:
And there's nothing wrong with that. That's self-confidence. That's great.
Amanda - 00:37:19:
Yeah, that's great.
Rosemarie - 00:37:20:
But the reality is, is we have to change those negative voices, right?
Amanda - 00:37:24:
Yes.
Rosemarie - 00:37:25:
And so I think you just own it. I mean, I don't have any problem owning, yeah, I've been highlighting my hair since I was, you know, started in television in my 20s. Do I have gray? I don't know. I mean.
Amanda - 00:37:39:
What would I know?
Rosemarie - 00:37:39:
You know, my hairdresser says I'm doing pretty well. So I'm happy with that. You know, I don't think if you choose to get Botox, you don't choose. If you're on a weight loss drug or you're not, whatever it is, you know, own it. You have a right to be your authentic self and not, and you can keep those things private too. That's fine. But I guess what I'm saying is you just don't care anymore. Like after a certain age, you're just like, this is who I am. Take it or leave it. And, and what I've learned from interviewing so many women on my podcast, I started really with a focus on career. And then I realized that their personal struggles and their personal hurdles and obstacles and trauma and things they overcame were a lot more interesting than their careers. And so usually the interviews started out very resume-ish. You know, this is where they went to college or grad school. This is the jobs that they've had over the years. And then they would say something like. But I lost a child, or I had colon cancer and I would be like, oh my gosh, like that wasn't in the bio, that wasn't in your notes. But, and now I'm encouraging when I ask people to give me notes for a show, I'm encouraging them to share that stuff in advance. So that not that I can be surprised and still roll with it, but it's to me, that is who makes us who we are. We are who we are because of what we have experienced and what the kinds of struggles that we've faced.
Amanda - 00:39:10:
Absolutely. And if there's someone listening, a woman, no matter what age she is, who still feels trapped, like, you know, for us, we have a little more, weather, life experience, you know, you're able to, you know, a younger woman who was 27, like said to me, I don't know, but like, how do you just do that? Like, you just get to that point. I'm like, well, it's a lot of years of being screwed over and this, this, this, and you just realize you've had enough. So someone's watching.
Rosemarie - 00:39:36:
Yeah.
Amanda - 00:39:37:
What are some things that, you know, women who still feel trapped by these societal expectations, you know, that may be some simple things.
Rosemarie - 00:39:46:
Yeah. Just learn to say no, no, not doing that. There was a great-
Amanda - 00:39:50:
Without guilt. Right.
Rosemarie - 00:39:51:
There was a great meme that I saw the other day on Instagram and it was a woman, you know, midlife. And she said, you know what, this year when somebody asked me, when they call me and they go, do you want, nope. Are you interested? Nope. Are you going to? Nope. You know, we always say, so it's a little bit counterintuitive because I do believe in saying yes to things that you're excited about, things that might scare you, things that might teach you something, things that might open up a possibility to you. But I also believe in just figuring out where those boundaries are and saying no to things. You know, I don't want to do that. So I'm not going to do that. That doesn't feel authentic to me. That doesn't feel like something I should be doing. If I do that, I'm not going to be happy while I'm doing it. That's going to come across. So, you know, learning how to say no, learning how to figure out what are the things that give you joy. Passion, purpose. Money, you know?
Amanda - 00:40:47:
Yeah, exactly. There's nothing wrong with that either.
Rosemarie - 00:40:50:
And the reality is, especially when you're young, you need to make a living. You need to pay your rent. You need to put food on the table. You need to pay your, you know, your car lease or your car payment, whatever. I get that. So we all have to do things we don't want to do. I mean, I have a 20-something-year-old daughter and I told her, I said, you know, first jobs. Not great. Second job's maybe not great either. Your goal is to eventually get to the third or fourth job. If you're lucky, it could be in the same company, but not so much anymore. And learn something along the way, but when you're ready to go, when it doesn't work for you anymore. Don't wait around. Don't wait around. I mean, my mom died of cancer at 71. She was an attorney. She worked full time. She had her own practice. And her dying words to me literally on her deathbed was don't do what I did. Don't work yourself to death. Do not put work in front of life and loving and being with people that make you happy and give you joy. And it sounds so simple, but it's really hard for us to live into that, right? It does. I'm just now living into it. Yeah.
Amanda - 00:41:58:
Right. And again, and as you said, usually hindsight, right? It's not until we go through something that we realize. And then once again, talking about passing it on, right? That's what you're doing in your podcast. So why aging, why we're having these conversations are essential, you know? So we try to pass on what we learn, right?
Rosemarie - 00:42:17:
Absolutely.
Amanda - 00:42:17:
And even now, because when you think about it, however age we are, I think I'm still going to live. I feel great. You're an athlete. I was an athlete. You know? And so I feel like we're a different breed too when it comes to things. But I feel like, you know, we're going to look back when we're say your mom's age, or, you know, we might be, we're evolved in that sense where, you know, we might be 80, like, I don't know. I know some great 80-year, they're running around Manhattan.
Rosemarie - 00:42:43:
Right.
Amanda - 00:42:43:
Like they're 50. So I feel like you're, it's never too late to start.
Rosemarie - 00:42:48:
And yet we also know that, you know, health is not something that we can always choose. I mean, things happen, right?
Amanda - 00:42:54:
Absolutely.
Rosemarie - 00:42:55:
Like cancer, people have heart disease. So don't put it off. I mean, when the runway is shorter, make sure you are, you're living it up. Whatever that means to you. Don't, don't put it off. And, and again, these are all these, like, they sound trite, but they are, these are things that we hear. And I don't think we fully take them in and do it, you know?
Amanda - 00:43:22:
Yeah. And don't you think you might, I don't know if you agree, but sometimes like for me, I can read five books on the same thing, but it's just the point of view that sometimes things click. Like you sharing something, you could, you know, Brooke Shields resonating that book, you know, it depends who's watching or listening. For whatever reason, something you'd say, even though it was said before, they might think to themselves, oh, Amanda Lamb, but she said it differently. So it's important to keep having these conversations. Conversations. With that, I'd really like for you to talk about, not only are you coaching women professionally, creating a space for them, if you want to talk a little bit about that and what are you most excited about on top of it?
Rosemarie - 00:44:02:
Yeah. I mean, you know, just going to the base meaning of community, there is so much evidence out there that positive health. Living longer, all of it stems from not being isolated, from having community, from having connections with other people. And so my mother modeled that for me. And I believe that I've modeled that for my daughters because they've both created really great communities where they live. So I have tribes of women. I have women that, you know, I have book clubs and running groups. And, you know, I have a group called the Girl Gang, which is, you know, the oldest group of friends. And so I really believe in that. And I really believe in, like you said, supporting other women and helping other women to thrive. I don't ever go, yeah, I don't have any more room for any more friends. I'm good. You know, like I don't look at it like that. I look at it as every time I meet a woman, there's an opportunity to learn something. I mean, I have learned so much from the women on my show this past year. You know, I've had actors and CEOs and doctors and lawyers and artists and musicians and just people from all walks of life, who have shared such profound things with me. And to your point about hearing something in a different way. When I hear something from someone and I go, you know, I've heard that a hundred times, but there's a way that this person said it that really resonated with me. So I would say my favorite thing right now is talking to live groups of people, is speaking. And the reason is, and maybe you can relate to this, you know, I was talking to a quarter million people, we have a pretty good viewership in this market, when I was on TV. But I was talking into a camera lens. So I had no feedback from these people. I had no connection with these people. I can't tell you how much I love being on stage, having a live audience, watching them smile, hearing them laugh, maybe sometimes shed a tear, depending on if I'm talking about my mother and caregiving and things like that, and then talking to them afterwards and interacting with them and taking questions from the audience. That gives me so much energy. So right now, my focus is really taking the ageless message and brand, if you will, and kind of going out and whenever I have an opportunity to be able to speak about it.
Amanda - 00:46:32:
I want to get your thoughts because I live in Manhattan, well, Brooklyn, but work in Manhattan. And I go to like workout classes where I'll be the oldest woman in the room, right? And now I'm like killing it in soul. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. You're going to relate to this. And I go to different kinds of classes and I look and I'm like, you know, and I'm like so excited. You know, I'm like, I kicked ass, you know, I did this, you know, I'm 52 and everything. And, but I look at the women with each other and I watch the way they interact and they're not as candid, right? So we've had life experiences or like attracts like, right? When you're a certain way, you're so hard on yourself, whether you're an athlete or whatever, we tend to be one way. And then there's still that real competitive, speaking to some of the younger women out there. And I feel so sad because I'm like, guys, like, no, she's not public enemy number one, right? It's like, everybody's after the same thing in New York and news, you know, when you live, if somebody's watching that's, you know, someplace else, not in television, but what would be something looking back on your younger self? Maybe like you said so many things, but maybe one piece of advice that you would have, giving yourself.
Rosemarie - 00:47:42:
I just give yourself grace, right? You have so much time to live into all of this. I go to a yoga studio in the downtown area where we live. And it's, it's a very, um, the residences down here tend to be apartments. They tend to be a lot of young people. So I'm almost always the oldest person in my class. There's one other woman. We kind of vie for that title. And, they are really, it's really fun to be in a class with young people and to chat with them and to get to know them. But I agree with you. I just think they're hard on themselves. And I think they're hard on themselves in terms of their appearance, maybe in terms of their ability to thrive in the workplace. You know, well, my job's not great or I don't know what's next. It's okay. I mean, I constantly have a 21-year-old and a 25-year-old and I just tell them all the time, you have so much time. You have no idea. You do not have to have this figured out. Believe me, I didn't have it figured out when I was 21 or 25 or, you know, maybe not even 30. I don't know. But the reality is, is that I would tell my younger self, take a deep breath. It's gonna be okay. You've got all the right stuff to do something with your life, but it doesn't have to all be planned out. It doesn't have to all be planned out. So, you know, and again, these are hard lessons because young people hear them and they go, oh, what do you know?
Amanda - 00:49:10:
Right?
Rosemarie - 00:49:11:
But that is, to me, that if I could share that, and I have with some of my younger friends that I've worked with, you know, do the thing. Take the trip. Have the baby. Marry the guy. Change jobs. You know, you want to become a yoga teacher instead of being a TV reporter, go do that. You know, just do the thing. This is it. One time. You know, we don't, it's not a dress rehearsal. This is what we got right in front of us. This is life. And I try to do things every single day that I enjoy. I try to every single day, I try to say, well, I'm going to do this today. And however everything fits around it, that's okay. But I'm doing this today.
Amanda - 00:49:53:
Awesome. And who cares what people have to say?
Rosemarie - 00:49:56:
There you go.
Amanda - 00:49:57:
Someone's going to say something no matter what you do. No matter what you're buying, who you're doing, someone's going to always have to, you know, not everyone, but there's always one person.
Rosemarie - 00:50:07:
Oh yeah. Or more than one. I mean, the internet gives us, gives people the ability to say anything, anytime from anywhere without thinking about, you know, their words. So.
Amanda - 00:50:17:
Yes. Well, with that, thank you so much. This was so much fun. I mean, I am, I'm going to, I actually listened to one of your podcasts. I was trying to get to know you even a little bit more after I learned about you from the people from Earfluence. So, so exciting. I'm cheering you on. I get it. I'm going to follow you and also share your information. I know a lot of amazing women that are always looking.
Rosemarie - 00:50:41:
I appreciate it. Yeah.
Amanda - 00:50:42:
Oh yeah, I mean, I have so many great women and you want to share great information, right?
Rosemarie - 00:50:48:
Absolutely, absolutely. And I'll have to, my daughter lives in Manhattan. So I'll have to, when I'm up there, we'll have to get coffee or something, or something stronger.
Amanda - 00:50:58:
I would love... Maybe. Espresso martini. Yeah, there you go.
Rosemarie - 00:51:03:
There you go. Yeah.
Amanda - 00:51:04:
I just can't wait to see what happens for you.
Rosemarie - 00:51:06:
Thank you, Rosemarie. It was great talking to you. Great meeting you.
Amanda - 00:51:11:
Yeah, you too. So anyway, you never know. Maybe you'll be on again. I'll hunt you down for something else. But for today, that's a wrap for this episode of Second Opinion. A big thank you to Amanda Lam for sharing her experiences and such insightful insights on navigating the pressures of being a woman in television and embracing very bold career changes in midlife. I hope you've walked away feeling inspired and also very empowered to pursue your path no matter where you are in life. If you've enjoyed today's conversation, don't forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. It helps others find the show. And if you have a topic you'd love for us to explore, drop us a note. We're always looking for new ideas. I'm Rosemarie Beltz. Until next time, take care of yourself, get some rest, and remember, always get a Second Opinion.