Holly Lamb (00:04.16)
Hello and welcome to the No Fucks Given podcast with me your host Holly Lamb. We're on to episode four and this episode is all about
how to conquer the inner critic, which I think for a lot of women going through perimenopause, it's something that comes up quite a lot. We're not quite sure how to deal with it. And it can come at us and we can feel super stressed, super overwhelmed and not quite sure how to deal with it. So I'm gonna kind of dive into that in this episode and give you some tools to help you.
move through and work with your inner critic and not to butt heads with it. So I wanted to discuss this because actually it's the phase that I am in at the moment. So the inner critic comes up in your inner autumn. So this is roughly days 20 to 26, if we are having a 28 day cycle. So my cycle can be irregular. So it is a little bit of guesswork at the moment, but
I can definitely feel the shift. So there are things called crossover days when we move from one season into another season. And for me, I feel like it's been quite profound this, this time round for moving from inner summer to inner autumn, because your inner summer is very much all light or breezy.
You feel amazing. You kind of forget, like I like to journal, but it's a time where I actually forget to journal quite a lot because I'm very much away with the fairies up in the clouds type kind of vibe. And then as soon as I head into the inner autumn, it's definitely more of a time to go inwards, a time of reflection. And a lot of things can start to irritate you that didn't before when you were in your in the summer.
Holly Lamb (02:12.462)
So for example, the way your partner breathes is just annoying now. I don't know if anybody can relate to that, but it's definitely something that I felt today and yesterday that has shifted. So I know that I am going into my inner autumn now. What day am I on?
Holly Lamb (02:44.654)
So I'm roughly on day 21. So this would correlate quite well if my cycle has decided to be a regular this month, we shall soon find out. But for me, it's about understanding how I'm feeling and listening to the cues of my body. And I could definitely feel the shift and just, you just kind of feel that.
Every little thing is annoying. Like drivers pulling out in front of you. Most of the time you're like, that's annoying, but this time you want to beep your horn and maybe give them the middle finger. Whereas if you're in your, in a spring and you're in a summer, that might not happen. But it's a time that we can really dive into and really embrace if we know how to do it.
So I wanna cover that in a little bit more detail further on in the podcast, but I just wanna touch on before we get there about boundaries. So boundaries in your inner autumn is a really good time to use the power of inner autumn to set boundaries. So when we're in the inner spring, the inner summer, we're very much like people pleases, we'll do anything for anyone. And then we start heading into inner autumn, inner winter, and this is where we can start to implement boundaries.
So if you are someone that really struggles with implementing boundaries, then I would use the power of your cycle to use the inner autumn and the inner winter to start saying no. And you can say no, and you don't have to give a reason why, you can just say no, and that's boundaries. And it's especially important when we enter perimenopause.
Holly Lamb (04:38.894)
In perimenopause, we find it really difficult to say no. We still feel like we have to be in that people pleaser mood at all times when actually we don't, because this is a time when we start to take back our own power, step into it and use it to help us, which in turn helps other people as well.
So if you're feeling super stressed, super overwhelmed, you've got your plate full of things, then this is the time where we can start to implement boundaries, say no, and be okay with that. Like it's okay to say no to things. Like in an autumn, in a winter is a time for reflection and inwards and to take a step back from the world. So if that feels right for you and you don't want to go to that social event, then just say no. It's okay.
and have a conversation with your partner or your family and just explain that during these times, I prefer a little bit more time to myself. So let's see how we can negotiate that, work around that so that you get time for you. And it's not selfish. Self -care is not selfish. It's necessary. And especially in perimenopause, it is necessary.
Holly Lamb (05:59.182)
Thank you.
So this phase of your cycle is all about grounding yourself in your inner authenticity and embracing your inner wisdom. As we head towards the inner winter, this is when our intuition heightens. So inner autumn is the perfect time to start grounding yourself and to start listening to the cues of your body and being authentically yourself. It's all about holding yourself at this time.
And it's a time to take full responsibility for the wholeness of you. It's about facing your shadow side and dealing with whatever comes up. Now this can be quite triggering for a lot of women facing that inner critic, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes because your inner critic is here to break down your walls and to deflate your ego. And if you face it,
this is when the breakthroughs are gonna start to happen. So you can do this in very, so you can do this in lots of different ways. A really easy way is to journal, is to write down what's coming up, write it all down and then maybe the next day go back to it and see what kind of wisdom has come out of it. Because the inner critic is there to have a go, that's what it's there to do. But,
in all that noise there is going to be some nuggets of wisdom and knowledge that you can pick out and you can use going forward.
Holly Lamb (07:40.366)
Another way.
Another tool is meditation. So you could sit quietly. Usually with the inner critic, it's better to have silence so you can hear what it's saying to you. This can be quite intense. So I would highly recommend starting with the journaling, then moving on to the meditation. Cause you do just have to sit with your thoughts and most people cannot just sit with their thoughts in silence. It's really, really difficult to do that. When we meditate, usually we have music.
We do a guided meditation. So to actually sit there with your thoughts can bring up a lot. So I would say start with journaling then move to meditation or kind of an in -between would be to go for a walk in nature on your own, no phone, no nothing, no music. Just go for a walk in nature and be with your thoughts and be with yourself and see what comes up. And then maybe jot down any things that are repeating and are coming up.
and they're the things you're going to need to face and they're the things you're going to need to deal with. Because when we deal with those shadow sides, we become the best version of us and we're able to honor the other phases of the cycle as well. So imagine each time that you face this inner critic, you get stronger. Imagine where you'd be in a year's time if you did this every month for 12 months.
Holly Lamb (09:15.246)
It's a time of holding that discomfort when it comes up. So the longer you can hang out with the critic, the more you'll hear what it has to say. Then once you've waded through the crap, like I said, you can take those nuggets of information, take that wisdom, see what it's trying to tell you, because there's always a lesson there. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's difficult. But this is what this practice is all about.
Holly Lamb (09:41.614)
So can you see how knowing about the different phases of your cycle and working with them can literally change your life? If you understand what you need to do in each phase of your cycle to become the best version of you, it can literally change your life. This is the hardest part. The inner critic and the inner autumn can be the hardest part for a lot of women because we don't wanna face those shadow sides. We don't wanna face those things that are coming up again and again and again.
But if you find yourself in these repeating patterns, I've done it. I find myself in these repeating patterns. And now we've got to the point where I'm, I'm very self -aware that I can see these things happening again. And I'm like, right, what can I do to change that? And if you're not there and you're not self -aware yet, then writing it down and journaling and facing it, this is the best thing you can do because in time you just get better and better and better. And especially in perimenopause.
when we are overwhelmed, we're stressed, we've got everything going on in our lives. This is such a good practice to implement, to see what's coming up and to see what your shadow side is trying to tell you. So if you don't already, number one, track your cycle. And number two, start working with the different phases of it and understanding it. I've mentioned these books before, but Wild Power,
for about your menstrual cycle and wise power about menopause are two amazing books. I would highly recommend that you read them. This will explain this in a lot more detail and it will give you the knowledge and power to move forward.
Holly Lamb (11:37.326)
So working with women in perimenopause, I've found, and personally, obviously with my journey, that our former selves start to kind of dissipate and a new, no -fucks -given version is born. A lot of women don't understand this initiation. And this is why all this discomfort comes up. There are symptoms, physical symptoms, mental symptoms. And by practicing menstrual cycle awareness, you can start to lean into the emotions that come up and face them head on.
And this is just going to make your perimenopausal journey so much easier. It will help you so much with the mental clarity, but it will also start helping you with the physical symptoms as well.
Holly Lamb (12:24.078)
And this is why I've decided to look at launching a group program to help perimenopausal women who want to learn more about living in harmony with their cycle. This will help you gain clarity on areas of your life that you... I'm not struggling.
Holly Lamb (13:20.878)
So this is why I've decided to launch a 12 week group coaching program. It's gonna be the Hormone Harmony Blueprint and it's gonna help perimenopausal women master their hormones so they can shed excess weight and be fully confident in their skin. There's gonna be so much information, so much juice in this 12 week coaching program. You're gonna learn all about how to practice menstrual cycle awareness.
that's going to deepen your intuition. You're going to learn all about nutrition, exercise, all the things. There's going to be lots of.
Holly Lamb (14:02.798)
There's going to be lots of chances to ask questions, to be in a community of like -minded women and to be in a really safe, nurturing space. I want it to feel like a sanctuary that you can come to and ask any question and you can step into your fully authentic, unapologetic self. So if this sounds some... So if this sounds like something is...
So if this sounds like something that you need, then DM me blueprint on Instagram. I'll put all the information in the show notes and I will add you to the exclusive wait list. So you will get access and all the information on this program before anybody else. So that's it for episode four.
Holly Lamb (15:02.414)
So that's it for episode four. Thank you so much for joining me and I can't wait to see you next week.