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What do you do when the bottom drops out and life breaks in ways you never imagined? Charlie and Jill LeBlanc have walked that road, and through their personal story of loss, they’ve discovered the sustaining power of God's presence. In this podcast, they offer heartfelt conversations, Scripture-based encouragement, and the kind of hope that only comes from experience. Whether you're grieving, struggling, or searching for peace in the middle of chaos, this space is for you.
Thanks so much for joining us on the Finding Hope Podcast. We're Charlie and Jill LeBlanc, and we are just so happy to be part of your life again today. So we're coming back into part of what we shared last time, the Healing Journeys Today episode that we did with them on Jesus Healing Broken Hearts. So our friends, Butch and Julianne Hartman have a ministry where they welcome people to come every day and teach live on healing, whether it's physical healing, whether it's healing in your mind, just what any way that someone needs healing, they minister on it. And they invited us to come and speak on Jesus healing broken hearts, because that is a real deal, especially for those of us who have walked through loss of a close loved one, or any other type of loss.
Jill:So we hope that you enjoy this episode as a continuation of what we did last time. And we were talking about the mental battle of what goes on when we walk through loss.
Charlie:Yeah. So
Jill:And we hope it's a help to you.
Charlie:Yes. Believe it
Jill:will be.
Charlie:Yeah. So we just pray that, it really helps you and, let us know how you like it at the end. Okay? So God bless you all. One of the scriptures, I didn't know if you had something, was gonna pause for a minute if you did.
Jill:I felt it.
Charlie:One of the scriptures that,
Jill:But there was a good pause.
Charlie:That's good to pause. One of the scriptures in Second Corinthians ten:five that really helped me, and of course I knew it all my life, the Christian life, it's casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. Now, I believe it's it's okay and healthy to cry and to grieve and to mourn. I believe the card in Ecclesiastes that there's a time and a place for everything. There's a time to mourn.
Charlie:There's a time to grieve. There's a time to weep. In fact, scripture says weep with those who weep. The scripture says Jesus wept. So there's nothing wrong with crying and feeling sad about the loss of a loved one, okay?
Charlie:But, at the same time, like I'm saying, you have to be on guard because the enemy can advantage of these moments and try to really get after you and destroy You know, and I remember we were in San Diego, you know, we were living in St. Louis, Bo died in St. Louis, we went to Phoenix for a second funeral, We had one in St. Louis and then three days later, right? Four days.
Charlie:Four days later. Three days. Went to Phoenix because my mom and dad and all of my siblings lived there and all of both cousins lived there.
Jill:And that's where he was living when he got sick.
Charlie:That's right. He was living.
Jill:So he had a life there.
Charlie:Yeah. And a lot of friends and and he worked there and and he played in a band there and and so so we we had this massive funeral or memorial service or celebration of life, whatever you want to call it, in St. Louis with our pastor and all of our friends that we had known for forty years in St. Louis. It was an amazing, huge time together.
Charlie:But we knew that a lot of friends and family in Phoenix wouldn't be able to make it and they didn't, some did. But most of them couldn't. So, we decided, out of caring for them, to go and have another memorial service in Phoenix, which looking back was just crazy because it was so hard, we had to pull ourselves together, we had to pack, we had to get on a plane, bring everything, it was horrendous.
Jill:It was.
Charlie:But the beautiful thing is our pastor happened to be in California for a meeting right after our funeral. So he came right over and did it again in Phoenix and Lamont and Sharon Rich who sang in St. Louis, they came to the funeral there in Phoenix and helped us there. But anyway, so after the funeral, we went to San Diego. My brother had an apartment there that he said y'all can go and rest and stay there if you like, a condo.
Charlie:So we went there and we just, I mean, just spent days just praying, crying, breathing, trying to pull our lives together, taking walks on the beach, taking walks through the little town, just trying to figure out how we would survive. Emailing friends, texting friends, friends texting us, calling, talking to people that we needed to talk with. I actually reached out to many minister friends of mine that I knew had lost a child. So I reached out to them and I said, Help, you know. I need help.
Charlie:I don't want to go down in ashes and I feel like I'm sinking fast. So thank God for brothers and sisters in Christ who can help us along the way. But as I'm, one afternoon I'm sitting there in San Diego and I decided to take a little rest in a recliner there, so I leaned back. As soon as I leaned back, as always, all of the negative thoughts, the moment of his passing, the horrific pictures of his death, the screaming and the crying of my daughters and my wife and me. All that just came flooding in and I thought, oh my God, I can't handle this, was just like going in the night, said, hold on, I said, I'm not gonna go there right now.
Charlie:I just took a stand and I said, I'm not going to do this. I said, I am gonna bring every thought captive, I'm gonna cast down these thoughts, I'm going to think on good things right now. Now, again, I want to emphasize, I'm not asking anyone who's broken and in tears to do this all the time but it was just a moment where I knew the enemy was attacking me. So, I had to fight against it and as I did, I went off into a little sleep and while I was sleeping, the spirit of god came on me and I mean, god touched me and I I saw Bo in heaven. I saw him having a wonderful time.
Charlie:I saw him telling me all kinds of great things about how he's doing and what's going on up there. In my heart, in my spirit, I saw him just blessed beyond words. And I mean, I woke up blessed and encouraged and ready to just, you know, minister to my family more because of what he had spoken to me. So, that was a good moment. Yeah.
Charlie:A really good moment. So, Hebrews twelve one says that we're surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses and so now we have our mom and dad, Jill's mom and dad, both up there. Lots of our friends now unfortunately are up there. My best friend in St. Louis, he was the best man at my wedding and I was the best man at his wedding just a year ago.
Charlie:He died and we were with him. I was with him hours and hours and hour days before he passed and spent a lot of time with him but another broken heart. I'm telling you, when you see your best friend die, it's it's it's horrible. Yeah. But but you know, I know that we're surrounded now with a great cloud of witnesses and you know, Ephesians 14 says, for this cause, I bow my knee before the father of our lord Jesus Christ and it says, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named.
Charlie:I don't know. Some some reason that scripture jumped out at me one day that I have family in heaven now. I didn't have I didn't really have much family up there before, but I have family in heaven, and and and it ministers to me to know that that I'm named among them. We're all in Christ together, and that I definitely will see them someday.
Jill:Mhmm.
Charlie:Amen. And there's one more scripture I wanna share before I release Jill to share a few things. She sits here patiently waiting.
Jill:It's all good.
Charlie:There's a scripture in Lamentations that I read in the New Living Translation, and here's the thing, after Bovee passed, I had a little trouble with reconciling God being faithful to me. Now, know, because it just seemed like he wasn't faithful, know, yet I know he's a faithful God. You know, we see that all over scripture. And of course, Lamentation says, you know, great is thy faithfulness, his mercies begin every morning. So I knew it was faithful, but I just I just like, I think we have a wrong concept of what faithfulness is.
Charlie:You know, we think faithfulness means that there's not gonna be any trouble or, you know, not gonna be any pain, but Paul the apostle threw that whole concept out because he had nothing but trouble, nothing but adversity against him all of his life and then all of the Apostles were all, I think all of them except for maybe one, was killed, murdered. And so, you know, they all had difficulty and pain, so we think life's gonna be perfect, we think, well if God's faithful, won't have any trouble, well no, no God is faithful to bring you through any difficult time, to bring you through pain, to bring you through heartache. And that's the faithfulness that we see God has done and been in our life. And so, scripture, know, great is thy faithfulness and this great hymn that we've heard all of our life, Great is Thy Faithfulness, I was having a hard time singing that and reconciling that, but then when I looked in the New Living translation, I backed up and saw the context of this song. And I want to read it to you, because for me, it was so powerful.
Charlie:And it says this in verse 18, I cry out, my splendor is gone, everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost. I'm telling you that, I thought, oh my God.
Jill:I don't think I had read that scripture, well definitely not in that translation before that time.
Charlie:No, I had never.
Jill:And when we saw that, wow. It's like, that's us.
Charlie:That's us. Everything
Jill:This is us.
Charlie:We had hoped for, from the Lord was lost. And then it goes on and says, the thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. Now, in context, this is Jeremiah lamenting over Israel being homeless. They were in captivity. And so he's saying, my splendor is gone.
Charlie:Another great scripture, well I won't go to it now. You know, the thought of my suffering in homelessness is bitter beyond words. And he's, then verse 20, and I love this. He says, I will never forget this awful time as I grieve over my loss. I mean, he is just saying it exactly the way we felt it.
Charlie:We'll never forget this awful time as we grieve over our loss. Now, this is when it turns, and I appreciate it. He says, Yet, I still dare to hope when I remember this. I just love that whole thing because, I relate to it because it was daring for me to hope, and for us. It was like a hesitancy, but I'll dare to hope.
Charlie:And here it goes in 21, yet I still dare to hope when I remember this, verse 22. The faithful love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never end. Great is his faithfulness. His mercies begin afresh each morning.
Charlie:So this is the beauty of it, is that we see that God is faithful to bring us through any pain, any difficulty, any heartache. Great is his faithfulness. Every morning, trust me, we need his strength, we need his mercies, we need his healing, his help, to get us through every single day, we really do still miss our son. You know, we will till we die. And had an uncle who lost his son, and they said that even on his deathbed, you know, he was remembering and wanting to see his son.
Jill:Many years later.
Charlie:Yeah, oh,
Jill:it was decades.
Charlie:Forty, fifty years later, yeah. So yes, God is faithful, and I love that new song that that says, all my life you have been faithful in that in that second verse, you know.
Jill:I love your voice.
Charlie:You have led me through the fire, through the darkest nights. You you are
Jill:Close like
Charlie:no And, yeah, and knowing you as a father, you as a friend, I mean, I've lived in the goodness of God, and that that that bridge that says, your goodness keeps running after me, and that's that is something that god will never leave us or forsake us. He will continue to run after us even when we're turning our backs on him. You know, it says in Psalm one thirty nine, if I go to the depth of the sea, there you are, you know. Wherever I run, I can't get away from your spirit. And I thank God for that because I tried to run, I tried to hide, I tried to get away because I was so hurt and so disappointed and so confused.
Charlie:But God's love continued to run after us, and He caught up with us. And we surrendered to His amazing grace, and to His amazing love. And unfortunately, a lot of people who have been through losses haven't fully surrendered to that love, but we're assured that God is continually chasing them. And we know that His love, nothing can separate us from his love, that he will continue to chase after, even our loved ones that are bruised still and hurting, and are running from God. We just know and believe that God will continue to chase after them and his faithful love.
Charlie:Amen.
Jill:Yeah. Amen. You know, you said how in the when we were in San Diego, how you know, we got to be there for four weeks. That was a huge blessing and we still are forever indebted to Yes. Charlie's brother and his wife.
Jill:And that was just such a gift from God to be able to get away like that
Charlie:Yeah.
Jill:In such a broken state as we were. Yeah. But he said, you know, we prayed a lot. We rested. We con con contemplated, we walked on the beach, all this stuff.
Jill:Well, I didn't pray a lot because I was not on speaking terms with the Lord at the time. And I just, you know, I shared last week that I was just so furious at the time that we decided to let Bovee go, stop praying. And I just I was so mad. I couldn't even cry. I was so mad.
Jill:Yeah. And I was sitting here watching our daughters just it'll never leave my my mind that moment. But Yeah. Anyway, so we were there.
Charlie:It's tough. And
Jill:we walked, you know, we just lived each day just one minute at a time. It's all we can do. Charlie heard eventually from a man in in in New Zealand who had lost two daughters at different times. Mhmm. I don't remember.
Jill:I think maybe the first one was was from an illness as a baby, and the second one was as a a young adult daughter several years later from an accident. And he wrote a beautiful book that we got hold of. And one thing he he said in the book, or was it when you contacted him directly? He I think it was after you contacted him directly and he was so sweet to respond. And he closed one of his emails with, be kind to yourself.
Jill:Yeah. And that is a huge key for someone walking this road. Just do what you can at the moment. You don't don't let yourself be pressured by Yeah. What anyone else's expectations are of you.
Jill:Mhmm. Just be kind to yourself. And we were doing that in San Diego. We just we just spent a lot of time not doing much of anything that that mattered to anyone else, but
Charlie:Right.
Jill:We were trying to be kind to ourselves.
Charlie:Eating ice cream.
Jill:Yeah, we ate a lot of ice cream.
Charlie:Our pastor gave us Pancakes. Our pastor gave us bad advice. Yes. He said, Go eat comfort food.
Jill:Yeah, just eat a lot of comfort food.
Charlie:Yeah. Right. So, we gained Okay. Ton of weight. It was not That was not fun.
Jill:But, you know, like I said, I was not on speaking terms with the Lord for several weeks. And after we were there for a few weeks, I just began to notice little things that Mhmm. Were starting to happen that just were kinda sweet. Mhmm. You know, we just you know, like that that song says, in the darkest night, you are close like no other.
Jill:I had some pretty dark nights myself, and I did not sense the Lord there with me at the moment, but I but he was. I just was so closed in my heart to him and so disappointed. And I know the Bible says those who trust in the Lord will not be disappointed. You know, it says that in Psalms, and I still haven't fully reconciled that one yet. But, you know, it's the word of god.
Jill:So maybe I need to look and see what disappointed really means in the Hebrew. But, anyway, I was pretty disappointed. We both were, and we all pretty. We were extremely disappointed. But, anyway, the Lord the Lord just began to to let me see his fingerprints on different things.
Jill:Mhmm. And it was just little things. There wasn't, like, a lot of monumental moments, but we went to the original pancake house a few times, which is amazing. If you have one of those in your town, you know. And and and our meal would get comped.
Jill:And the it's just so special. It's like, wow. That was sweet. Or just a beautiful sunset, and there were several of those, which they just there's that just does something to your soul to see a gorgeous sunset. It's just a handiwork of God, and it was so beautiful.
Jill:And I can't even honestly remember all the things that happened then, but there was just it seems like one thing after another. I would just began to see and began to recognize that it was God's fingerprints Mhmm. On just letting me know he was there.
Charlie:Yeah.
Jill:And I know, like like we've said many times, I know he never left me. Yeah. But he just he just carried me, and he was cloaked. Like I said before, he he just he carried me without without expecting of me. He just knew I was so wounded.
Jill:Mhmm. So I began to see how he just his love reaching out to me in a lot of small ways. Mhmm. And and he honestly won my heart back. I just began to open my heart to him.
Jill:And and he he he just began to draw me back in to where I could receive his love again. Yeah. And I wanted to read a little part of our book. It talks about how Jesus was with the disciples after after he died. Yeah.
Jill:So dead. Yeah. So on page 44.
Charlie:So they were disappointed. They were broken. They they thought he's gone. You know, we'll never see him again, all this we laid our life I'll down
Jill:read all that.
Charlie:Oh, you got
Jill:all that in there? I'm I gotta read from the book.
Charlie:I didn't know you had all that.
Jill:Yeah, it's all there.
Charlie:Okay.
Jill:In John 21, it shares an interesting nugget. One evening after Jesus was gone and the disciples were dealing with disillusionment and depression of their seemingly failed mission. Mhmm. I mean, think about it. They had given the last three years of their lives to this to follow this guy who they thought was the Messiah, and now all of a sudden he's gone.
Jill:And can you imagine what they were living with at that time? Just all the questions and and just it seemed like everything failed. So Simon announced he was going fishing, hoping to at least get something accomplished. The others joined him, and they fished all night without catching anything. Another layer of frustration.
Jill:At dawn, Jesus was at the shore and called out, asking asking if they had caught any. Still a ways from shore, they didn't recognize him right off. He then told them to throw out their nets on the other side to find some. And, of course, they made a haul of fish. And then John realized the situation and said to Peter, it's the Lord.
Charlie:It's the Lord.
Jill:Wow. I mean, gosh. It's Jesus.
Charlie:Yeah.
Jill:And that was in verse seven. And you know, they all must have thought that this scenario seemed awful familiar because that's what what Jesus did back back in the day with them. He said, draw your nets on the other side when he was first winning their hearts. And so then Jesus said, now come here and have some breakfast. And none of the disciples dared to ask him, who are you?
Jill:Because they knew it was the Lord.
Charlie:Yeah. They knew.
Jill:He let them see his fingerprints. Yeah. And that's what God did to me. Just showered me with so much love, so much patience, and then just began to let me see it all. My eyes were opened again to see.
Charlie:Praise God. You know, the scripture says in Isaiah 30 in the New Living, it says, the Lord must wait for you to come to him so that he can show you his love and compassion. And you know, that's the beauty of Jesus. The beauty of God is that he's patient, he's kind, he's all the things that he tells us to be, you know. Yeah.
Charlie:He's compassionate. His mercies are new every morning. He waits for us. He's patient with us. He doesn't demand of us.
Charlie:He's patient and waits for us. And as we were coming through this and hurting this, Jill was, you know, having difficulty praying, having difficulty communion, didn't wanna speak to Christianese anymore, you know, didn't wanna say praise the lord.
Jill:If I had to stop myself.
Charlie:Yeah. Yeah.
Jill:I stopped myself more than once from praying in tongues, from saying praise the Lord,
Charlie:from Yeah.
Jill:Amen or any of that. I'm like, wait, I don't do that anymore.
Charlie:Yeah, don't do that anymore. And and I mean, were times when once we started leading worship, which was a hard thing to do, and we'll talk about that probably later, but once we did start leading singing and worship in congregations, we would just center in on Jesus and sometimes the enemy in my brain would hit me and go, what are you doing? Are you crazy? You just lost your son. God wasn't faithful to you.
Charlie:What are you doing praising him? And I had to just say, Shut up. You know, God is loving God. I'm singing to him because of heaven, because my son's in heaven. I'm singing, I'm worshiping him.
Charlie:And people so, thought because of that, that we were all better now. Oh, Charlie and Jill, all good, they're all good. No, but we were in pain. And I think I shared this last week that Andrew and Jamie were so sweet to us, never pressured us, never sometimes we would lead worship and then we would go sit in the back, or go up to the hotel room after we led worship, and talk to our daughters, and weep, and cry, and miss our son. It was so raw.
Charlie:There are so many stories we could tell you guys about our journey. But, the most important thing I want you to know is that God heals broken hearts, and He's there with you every single moment of the day of your journey. As I said, He waits with patience, That's Psalm 3zero 18, if you're looking to find that one in the New Living. So the Lord must wait for you to come to Him so He can show you His love and compassion. And He does patiently wait.
Charlie:Hello again everybody. This is Charlie, and Jill and I just want to say a special thank you for joining us on this latest podcast episode. And we want to remind you, we actually have a new episode every Tuesday. So come and join us on all of these. And if you could, share them with your friends, give us a thumbs up, follow us, however you can.
Charlie:It'll help us reach more people, and that's our heart. And we also wanna encourage you that we have a website that will really help you. We have grief resources. We have music, lots of music that'll really bless you. So we encourage you to sign up on our mailing list, and, there's free resources if you do, free songs, lots of good stuff there as well.
Charlie:So God bless you, and thanks again for joining us.