Ladies Don’t Talk About Their Periods in Public. They Whisper About PMS.

PMS isn’t just mood swings and chocolate cravings, but a full-body experience women have been shamed into whispering about for decades. In this episode, we stop tiptoeing around that time of the month and say out loud what most women only mutter under their breath. I’m breaking down why it’s not all in your head and how to stop feeling like a monthly crime scene. Let’s talk about the thing we were never supposed to talk about.

What is That's Not Very Ladylike?

That’s Not Very Ladylike is the podcast for every woman who was told to be polite, stay calm, or stop being so dramatic, meanwhile her hormones, boundaries, and sanity were quietly falling apart.

Hosted by Tracey Willingham, licensed social worker and the voice behind That Hormone Girl™, each episode starts with one rule: Ladies don’t…and then they do it anyway.

Together, we unpack the unspoken expectations, the emotional labor, the generational BS, and the hormone chaos modern women are carrying and we get honest about what it actually takes to feel like yourself again.

If you’re ready to question the rules, trust your body, and stop shrinking to make everyone else comfortable, you’re in the right place.

Tracey: 00:15

You're listening to That's Not Very Ladylike, the show where every week we start with one rule, ladies don't. And then we do it anyway. I'm Tracy Willingham, and you might know me as that hormone girl. In today's episode, we're staying loud and raising a little hell by talking about ladies don't talk about their periods. They whisper about PMS.

Tracey: 01:00

Welcome to episode three of That's Not Very Ladylike and y'all let me tell you I am gonna I'm gonna work so hard to keep this so brief because this week and next week we are talking about two things that I am passionate about and if you haven't found your way here because you know me as that hormone girl this is my job. I quit my other job and I went all in on this. So I promise you I will reign this in because I could talk about this for twenty four hours straight. So this week we are talking about ladies don't talk about their periods in public. They whisper about PMS.

Tracey: 01:52

So let's go. Let's go in. We're talking periods today. So apparently, it's polite to discuss politics at brunch, but not periods. And it's really cool to say I'm hungover louder than I'm bleeding.

Tracey: 02:12

Half the population in the entire world bleeds every month and somehow that's still considered a private matter. And we've been trained to smuggle tampons like it's contraband, right? Like we're working for a cartel And we whisper about cramps like it's classified intel. And we pretend, Oh, this Mydal bottle on my desk? Oh, I have really bad headaches.

Tracey: 02:43

But here's the thing. And you know I'm not lying on this. If men bled once a month, there would be a national week off every month. There would be flow tracking apps with leadership board badges that would get cool superhero names. There would even be like corporate events and workshops called like cycle syncing summits.

Tracey: 03:08

I mean that sounds cool. We kind of need to do that as ladies. That sounds awesome. I guarantee you there's going to be insurance benefits and if you need products they're going to be free. You're not going to pay for these because this is horrendous what's happening to me.

Tracey: 03:24

So I need free products. That is what would happen if men had periods. And so how about maybe it's time we stop apologizing for biology. And I get it, okay? So I've been there.

Tracey: 03:42

My periods have been brutal my entire adult life. I have thrown up from pain. I have passed out from pain. I have planned outfits around how to get a heating pad on my body. And I have lost entire weekends to cramps that felt like a demolition crew was in my pelvis doing construction.

Tracey: 04:08

And every time I stood up, I really thought, I think this is the day my organs are all leaving my body. And for years, I was told that's normal. Or, hey, listen, that's just part of being a woman. Welcome to the club. So I did what all women eventually learned to do.

Tracey: 04:30

I started to whisper, to medicate, to mask. I went to work doubled over. I have smiled through meetings and I've apologized for needing to sit down. But eventually that whisper it turned into such a loud scream inside that I couldn't ignore. And I realized the shame around my own cycle it's not personal it's systemic.

Tracey: 05:01

So I did what any woman fed up with misinformation does. I went back to school. So I added menstrual and hormone health certifications to my social work license. I quit my full time paying job with benefits and I built an entirely new career helping women stop surviving their cycles and start understanding them. And that's really how that hormone girl was born.

Tracey: 05:30

And it's not branding. It is built from blood, burnout, and the refusal to stay silent about something half the planet experiences. So let's start here. When was the last time you actually talked about your period without lowering your voice? Maybe it was when you texted a friend, I can't tonight.

Tracey: 05:55

Cramps are killing me. Or maybe you called out sick with a headache to your male boss because that felt like that's more acceptable or it doesn't make him uncomfortable. Maybe you've had a boss roll their eyes or a partner call you moody or a doctor who loves to tell you it's stress. Maybe you've sat in a bathroom stall at work crying quietly between meetings because the pain felt unbearable, and yet you still convince yourself, I have to push through. So this isn't about blood.

Tracey: 06:36

It's about the silence we've been trained to keep around our bodies. It's about the shame we inherited before we even understood what was happening inside of us and how that silence shapes every woman I've ever met. And that also includes how it affects me. So let's talk about how deep this weirdness runs. So remember middle school?

Tracey: 07:07

For some of us that was a while ago. Boys could throw footballs in the hallway, but God forbid someone dropped a pad on the floor. It was like a live grenade and then you best believe boys were like I'm not asking her out. Oh she's gross. We're told to wrap the product in enough toilet paper to actually mummify a small animal and then sneak it up your sleeve like we're doing a drug deal.

Tracey: 07:36

And that truly is one of our first lessons in puberty on how to be ladylike. Meanwhile, every commercial for men's razors shows abs and confidence. Ours shows like blue or red Kool Aid on a maxi pad. Now they are actually starting to use real blood which is nice but still let's just let's just call back to the days where it was like are women bleeding or women secretly bleeding Gatorade because that's what it looks like. And we've been told to minimize our cycles to power through take pain relievers and please don't make it weird.

Tracey: 08:19

And the moment we try to name the hormones behind our moods that's when someone loves to say, Are you on your period or something? Like we're suddenly unqualified for human emotion during this one week a month. We whisper PMS like it's an exorcism. Hey, sorry I snapped earlier. You know, girl hormones.

Tracey: 08:45

As if the only valid excuse for emotion is a uterus. We joke about it to make everyone else comfortable. Oh, I'm fine. I'm just a little stabby. But underneath, the joke is the truth.

Tracey: 09:01

We have been conditioned to treat our own biology like bad manners. Even at work, I've had women tell me they'd rather explain a migraine than a period. Because migraines get sympathy, periods get silence or cringes. And this silence costs us. It's costing us accurate research, better pain treatment, and also let's just say it basic respect for how our bodies actually function.

Tracey: 09:35

I don't know about you. I didn't line up in baby heaven and say, Oh, add that to my cart, periods. That sounds amazing. That was just part of my biology when I entered this world. I didn't elect for it.

Tracey: 09:50

And we've glamorized low maintenance women. So what that translation becomes is, Hey, you're a woman who never inconveniences anyone with reality. But here's the irony. The very thing that sustains life is the thing we're told to keep secret. The thing, that secret thing that has brought all of us into this world, we're to keep it secret.

Tracey: 10:26

That's not modesty. That's conditioning. So let's consider this for a second. Why do we trust a calendar app more than our own cycle cues? Why do we know Mercury's retrograde dates?

Tracey: 10:43

But we don't even know the length of our luteal phase. For some of you, you might even be like, I'm sorry. What's a luteal phase? You've got four phases in your menstrual cycle. We focus a lot on one of those which is the bleeding, the period.

Tracey: 10:58

But there are four cycles that we go through as women. But no one taught us and that's not to shame our parents or generations before us. Nobody taught the generation before us because talking about discharge in health class that's like you've got a felony. We're going to treat you like a felon. We grow up fluent in shame and silence becomes the reason why women show up in ERs doubled over from cramps and still ask themselves, am I overreacting?

Tracey: 11:42

It's just cramps. What if period talk wasn't a whisper but a wellness conversation? And what if the next time someone asked, how are you feeling? You said, honestly, I'm mid luteal, craving salt, trying not to join a fight club today. Normalize it, and you take its power back.

Tracey: 12:08

Say it out loud enough times, it stops being taboo, and it becomes data. So this week, I want you to notice something. How often do you downplay what your body's doing? How often do you swallow the words, it's my period because you don't want to make things awkward? Here's what I want you to do.

Tracey: 12:37

Try saying it anyway. And it's not to shock people. It's not to be concerned about what people are hearing, receiving. It's to free yourself. If you're bleeding say it.

Tracey: 12:51

If you're cramping let's say it. And if you need rest I want you to take it without a Ted talk of justification. Your body isn't inappropriate. Your hormones aren't hysterical. You are not responsible for grown men being uncomfortable when you talk about your body and your period.

Tracey: 13:22

I'm going to say it again because we got to get this through ladies. You are not responsible for grown men being uncomfortable when you talk about your period. That's for them to own. I don't own that. I'm not filthy.

Tracey: 13:36

I'm not shameful. I am a woman who has a period. Deal with it. Because the moment that we start talking about our cycles in public, we stop carrying shame in private. And we reclaim that narrative from that blue liquid, red liquid commercial, and we give it back to actual women.

Tracey: 14:01

So we're done whispering. We're going to start witnessing. And we are turning embarrassment into education and permission for the young women coming up behind us. And that, that's the most unladylike thing of all. Thanks for joining me today for that's not very ladylike.

Tracey: 14:34

If today's episode lit a fire, pushed your buttons, or called a little BS on the stories we've been sold, share it with another woman who's tired of being told to tone it down, smile more, or play nice. And help a girl out by making sure you subscribe, leave a quick review, and catch me on Instagram at that hormone girl. And until next time, keep getting loud, messy, and raising hell because being ladylike is overrated.