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We ride the lightning - literally - and Snakk stares down destiny. This is it. Strap in.
We are PBOP - a TTRPG actual-play podcast where we pretend to be other People! Join us for, hilarious improv, immersive storytelling, and an original score to set the mood. Subscribe now and adventure along with us - for excitement, for love, and for giggles!
Last time
Speaker 2:on curse breaker, we were ambushed.
Speaker 3:Orzu used his magic to imprison us inside tiny gemstones, keeping us isolated from each other and
Speaker 4:to Genie. Genie. I was reading this.
Speaker 3:Well, I usually do these.
Tim / GM:Do you? I'll go first. Yeah. It's a whole thing.
Speaker 3:I'll go first, then we'll trade off.
Tim / GM:Okay. Ores are used as
Speaker 3:magic to imprison us inside tiny gemstones, keeping us isolated from each other and totally powerless.
Speaker 4:Well, not totally powerless.
Speaker 3:Time was kind of weird in there, so I don't know exactly how long it took us, but Uli and Holly worked together to get us all talking again.
Speaker 4:A moment later, there was an explosion of light and we awoke to the tallest tower of Kessel Vindorn rescued by our dearest friends from near and far.
Speaker 2:A storm rages above the peaks. Idris looms at the end of the bridge. The mine carts beckon.
Speaker 3:Get in loser. We're riding the lightning coaster.
Speaker 2:Oh, fuck.
Speaker 5:Wait. Oh, I like that. That's perfect.
Tim / GM:Snack. Yeah. The rest of your party has jumped into these mine carts and you saw a flash of lightning, and it struck this pylon, this iron rod reaching into the air, and you saw this little shower of sparks and the minecarts started moving and they pulled away from the station. You were stopped in your tracks by Idris at the end of the bridge who was ushering people into the carts. He says, snack.
Speaker 4:Idris. Come here, snack.
John / Doran:Snack takes a slight bow and saunters over.
Tim / GM:Give me perception check. Okay.
John / Doran:How's a 4?
Speaker 7:Starting off strong. Coming in hot.
Tim / GM:He he is making you uneasy, but he smiles at you.
Speaker 4:This is one of those scary smiles. Yes.
Tim / GM:I looked for you, snack? Right.
Speaker 4:Yes. You you gave me a task address and I I did my darndest.
Tim / GM:I know you did. I saw what happened in the final moments against Vikshi. Yes. I know that you did not succeed. But you did fight To
Speaker 2:the best of your abilities.
Speaker 4:No. Well, well, thank you, Idris. Yes. If I ever see Vixi again. Oh, Idris, could you remind me again why we needed to kill, Vixxi?
Speaker 4:I don't know if you know the details, but I believe he was being controlled by magic.
Tim / GM:There were rumors of such things. Yes. Perhaps it wasn't his fault exactly, but Snack being a dragon means that you have to play by certain rules, laws. Vixi got on the bad side of a lot of other dragons. And we have rules, Snack.
Tim / GM:Lawfulness is what keeps this society stitched together. Right.
Speaker 4:Did you come to save us, Idris?
Tim / GM:I did. I was contacted by some friends of yours.
Speaker 4:I see.
Tim / GM:Snack, I didn't know what to expect of you. It was perhaps unfair for me to send you against someone like Vikshi. You're just a kobold after all. He gives you this kind of sympathetic smile.
Speaker 4:Well, I I consider myself a a dragonborn at this point. But, yes, I certainly was a kobold when first tasked with this Celaena dragon.
Tim / GM:Even to dissuade a dragon snack. It's
Speaker 2:Impressive. That's never been done before. Really? For someone as small as yourself, no.
Speaker 4:Well, I I had very loyal, servants, so they they certainly did help.
Tim / GM:At that, he kind of, like, cocks his head and gives you a,
Speaker 2:kind of calling your bullshit smile. He says, snack.
Tim / GM:It is not your fault that your allies do not heed your directions. Humans are difficult to control after all, and gnomes, and whatever the skeleton one is.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I'm not sure if that's still a gnome. I but, yes, I I see your point.
Tim / GM:Snack, I am still prepared to make you an offer.
Speaker 4:What is this offer?
Tim / GM:You were unsuccessful in destroying Vixi, guess, but that doesn't mean you can't be a part of my flight. Will you cast out your last bit of impulsivity and serve me? Serve the dragonflight?
Speaker 4:Are you talking about the thing that makes me want to stab stuff or
Tim / GM:Precisely that.
Speaker 4:Yes. I don't I,
Tim / GM:I am prepared to make you a whelpling this very instant. No. A Drake. A Drake? A true Drake snack.
Speaker 4:I see. What what am I right now?
Tim / GM:Well, you're
Speaker 2:Nothing, really. Yes. Please, Snack, use your savagery to serve the golden flight. Ensure balance among the real dragons.
Speaker 4:Real dragons. Oh, what's what's this over here? Oh, gosh. I better look at this, is that Vicksy? I better go check it out real I'll be right back, Idris.
Speaker 7:Mhmm. Genie.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Jeanie, are you still inside me?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Okay. Do you think I am nothing, Genie?
Tim / GM:Snack, you're everything.
Speaker 8:Oh, no.
Speaker 4:No. That's that's much greater than nothing. Genie, we've been we've been friends for a while now, at least a couple months for sure.
Tim / GM:Time's kinda fuzzy. Yeah.
Speaker 4:I would forgive you if this was a a fake thing you promised me, becoming a a a dragon. Is it true that we could do such a thing together?
Tim / GM:Of course it is. It's not the timing I had hoped for, but snack, if you're ready, I'm ready.
Speaker 4:You mean, like, right now or something?
Tim / GM:If you want to, snack, I can make you a dragon this very instant, but But what? I won't be the same. It's it's all going to be on you from then on.
Speaker 4:Will you be a dragon too then? No.
Tim / GM:It's going to take a lot. You understand? I'm betting on you because I love you.
Speaker 4:Snack is pacing and his eyes leaking.
Tim / GM:I await your decision.
Speaker 4:So I just want I swear that shadow over there is awful dragon like.
Tim / GM:I don't see it.
Speaker 4:Genie, this is a big thing then for you too. What would you have me do? Is this is this what you want?
Speaker 2:It's what
Tim / GM:I've always wanted.
Speaker 4:Well, yes, fuck. I want to be a dragon. Let's do it. Let's do it. Yes.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Tim / GM:He projects out of you and turns to face you, and you can see him kind of flickering as he does. It's very difficult for him to be, you know, apart from you right now. And he kind of nods at you, and he says, you have to promise me you'll get Orzo.
Speaker 4:I promise, Genie.
Tim / GM:As the roller coaster is pulling away, it's still slow, and it's going up a hill. You can all crane your necks to see this. It's Idris kind of with his back up against the tower and then Snack and Genie in the middle of this bridge, and Genie kneels in front of Snack on his knees, and then he starts flapping his arms slowly, imitating a dragon. And then, it looks like silly and stupid, but his face is somewhere between deep focus and absolute heartbreak. And then he throws his hands up in the air, and then he throws his palms flat to the ground and it makes this weak slapping noise.
Tim / GM:And you can all see him kind of rise and fall like that. And then he pops his upper body off the ground again and gives this very barbaric, very non magical, and you see a little plume of smoke come out of his mouth when he does that. And Indra says, what is this childish pretending?
Speaker 2:Snack, you are embarrassing yourself.
Speaker 4:I am not. I am becoming what I was always born to become.
Tim / GM:Genie looks at you, and he locks eyes with you. And you see him breathing deeply, and he starts nodding in a slow rhythm to get you to nod the same way.
Speaker 4:I do this.
Tim / GM:He does the same thing, waving his upper body off the ground and then back down in a motion of worship towards snack. Yes, Genie rises again with passion, and he tosses dust across the bridge and then slams his body down and back up again in billows smoke. At the same time, snack, you can feel a fire in your chest start to rise away. You breathe out flame that billows into the air, and when you inhale, a genie launches back into you. And you double over at this point.
Tim / GM:You can feel yourself bleeding from everywhere. It's pouring down your back between your scales, and you're flooded by light and pleasant heat. Everyone in the roller coaster can see Snack going full of volcano, shooting a geyser of magma from his back and mouth. 2 luminous orange arcs of magma burst from Snack, and rapidly harden into stony black wings. When it's over, his frame is a dark ashen statue and a moment of silence passes and a storm wind blows over the bridge and you all reach the top of the first drop for the roller coaster.
Tim / GM:There's a snap and Snack explodes. The bridge crumbles beneath him and Idris rapidly transforms into a dragon as he plummets. The obsidian shell crumbles into the valley below and you flap, revealing giant, vibrant, amethyst purple wings
Speaker 5:Whoo hoo.
Tim / GM:That now frame your enormous red dragon body.
Speaker 4:Fucking Fucking sweet. Cool.
Speaker 8:Oh, cool.
Tim / GM:Alright. Roller coaster. You have all reached the top of the first drop, and you look out across the rest of this coaster that reaches from Castle Vindorn all the way to the city of Vindorn and the lower foothills that it's embedded into. This is kind of a get the minerals from here to here kind of situation.
Speaker 7:Minecart.
Tim / GM:Minecart. Yes.
Speaker 5:Mhmm.
Tim / GM:You're all gonna take turns as if we're in combat, so we'll do initiative and everything.
Speaker 8:Great.
Tim / GM:Let's do that right now, actually.
Speaker 7:Holly out of 9.
Tim / GM:Thank you.
Speaker 9:It's a Bertine.
Speaker 7:That's 13.
Tim / GM:Okay. I was gonna say that could be a lot of numbers. No. I said a Bertine.
Speaker 5:It's
Speaker 9:actually 14. Sorry. It's
Speaker 8:a 9.
Tim / GM:Exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 4:It's not
John / Doran:even the closest one.
Speaker 7:It's a 13. It
Speaker 8:looks like a b.
Speaker 5:Tibia, what'd you get? 17.
Tim / GM:Okay. And snack? 7. And ooele.
Speaker 5:I also got a 7. I rolled it first.
Tim / GM:Alright. You removed. What? That's how this goes now.
Speaker 8:It's not Daxes who rolled faster.
John / Doran:That's such a better
Tim / GM:way to do an issue. Whoever rolls first. Yeah.
Speaker 9:The next
Speaker 4:one is.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Whoever hits their buzzer first gets 1st initial.
Speaker 5:My god. Yes. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Okay. So this is how this encounter goes. At the top of every round, there's going to be a lightning strike somewhere. Great. Cool.
Tim / GM:On each of your turns, you can either take an action or you have 3 other options, those of you in the carts. You can there's little hand cranks in each of your minecarts. Cranking those hand cranks gives your minecart one speed. It's communal. So, like, whenever you give a speed, it's to the whole carts.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Tim / GM:You can activate a beacon that has been struck by lightning that will give all of the stored lightning power to the mine carts, giving it a lot of speed, or you can switch tracks to change where you're about to head to. I will let you know what the benefits of changing tracks would be in those cases.
Speaker 8:And our action can be anything?
Tim / GM:Your action can be anything else. Okay. So you can take an action, crank for speed, activate a beacon that's been struck by lightning to give it a huge boost of speed, or you can switch tracks.
Speaker 8:But you can only activate a beacon if it has already been struck by lightning?
Tim / GM:Correct. K. There are 3 beacons. After you pass them, you won't be able to benefit from them anymore, so you need to, like, activate them before you arrive at them. So they're kind of, like, placed along the track as, like, little speeder uppers.
Speaker 8:Okay. This is like
Speaker 5:a a mini game.
Tim / GM:Yes. Cool.
Speaker 9:I'd like to point out that Bert is the shortest party member.
Tim / GM:For lightning purposes? Mhmm. You tumbled on the first hill of the track. Your karts have 3 speed
Speaker 2:right now. At the end
Tim / GM:of this round of combat, you will lose 5 speed.
Speaker 8:Woah. Does that mean you stop if you have less than 0 speed?
Speaker 5:Yes. So we need to keep cranking. Right. Okay. Oh.
Tim / GM:Or activating beacons or finding some other way to make these things go real fast.
Speaker 8:Right. Okay. Okay. Who's first?
Tim / GM:Tibio is first. Oh,
Speaker 8:has a beacon been struck by lightning?
Tim / GM:Let's do that first. There is a flash of lightning at the top of the map. Lightning strikes down nearby, but it misses the track, and it misses the carts and the beacons. It is inconsequential. Tibio, it's back on you.
Speaker 8:I crank.
Tim / GM:Okay. Plus 1 speed. That puts your cart at 4 speed. Alright. Next up is Bert.
Speaker 9:Are there seat belts on this thing?
Tim / GM:No. Not meant for riding.
Speaker 9:I better hold on to this crank. I'm cranking.
Tim / GM:Alright. 5 speed. You guys are breaking even at the end of the round. That brings us up to Holly.
Speaker 5:Are we all in one cart?
Tim / GM:No. It's 2 to a cart, and there's, like, a ton of them changing.
Speaker 5:What are our positions?
John / Doran:It's
Tim / GM:up to you.
Speaker 5:I wanna be in the back. Okay. K. That's all.
Tim / GM:Alright. Holly?
Speaker 7:Holly wants to perceive any upcoming dangers in the track. Okay. 11?
Tim / GM:You don't notice any upcoming danger in the track, but there is a dark cloud coming for you.
Speaker 7:For me?
Tim / GM:For your karts. Okay.
Speaker 7:I don't know why everyone's doing this weird cranky motion. Maybe it has to do with this crank in front of me and Holly will crank as well.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. That's fair. I'll give you the free perception on that one.
Speaker 7:I didn't know if perception was an action. I'm sorry.
Tim / GM:No. It's good. You thought outside of the box that had been established.
Speaker 7:Usually, just looking isn't well, in fighting, is it?
Tim / GM:I think it's usually, like, a bonus action because, like, it's a special thing that dragons can do to perceive, like, during combat.
Speaker 7:Sorry.
Tim / GM:That's okay. It doesn't bother me. Uli is next.
Speaker 5:Do I get a feeling this is magical lightning?
Tim / GM:No. This is straight up regular lightning. This this this track was designed to, like, harness the the dry lightning storms that roll through here.
Speaker 5:Okay. I'm going to turn around. K. So I'm facing backwards.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 4:And I'm
Speaker 5:going to cast Thunder Wave.
Tim / GM:Yes. But you're in the cart.
Speaker 5:I'm moving us on the cart faster.
Tim / GM:But you're in a cart, and you're doing something that go something. You're in the cart, and you're doing something that goes out in every direction.
Speaker 5:No. No. No. Thunderwave. Oh, it's a cube.
Speaker 5:Hold on.
Speaker 9:Yeah. It's centered around.
Speaker 5:Don't make me do that.
Tim / GM:Yeah. No. You're fine.
Speaker 8:You guys, we can waste this round cranking. It's okay.
Speaker 5:I know, but I wanted to do not cranking.
Speaker 8:We're at we're at 4 now.
Tim / GM:You're at 6 right now.
Speaker 8:We're at 6 right now? Yeah.
Speaker 7:We started
Tim / GM:with 3. Cranked as well. We started
Speaker 7:with 3. We got 3.
Tim / GM:Everybody cranked.
Speaker 8:What do we need
Speaker 5:to be at to go?
Tim / GM:You're gonna lose 5 at the end of each round.
Speaker 5:Jesus. That might crank, I guess. Okay.
Tim / GM:That puts you guys at 7 speed.
Speaker 7:We are zooming.
Tim / GM:All of you are literally just like this little hand crank in your mine carts, and you all just, like, grab onto it and are, like, bobbing up and down. And you can hear this, like And, yeah, there's, like, showers of sparks spitting out from
Speaker 2:all of your wheels as
Tim / GM:you kind of push yourself forward here. So we had everybody crank. We are back to snack. Yes.
Speaker 7:Who is not on the roller coaster?
Speaker 2:Sorry. But
Speaker 5:it's a tractor
Speaker 2:every time.
Speaker 7:Not in the track.
Tim / GM:Not in the
Speaker 8:Fighting dragon and he's gonna come back.
Speaker 7:So he's not on the roller coaster?
Tim / GM:No. Okay. Alright.
Speaker 4:Idris, I must reject your offer, but provide a counter offer.
Tim / GM:You see him, like, throw out his wings to, like, parachute him and stop him from falling, and he flaps up to kind of meet you, and the 2 of you are, like, circling each other in the air here.
Speaker 4:I snack wish to align with the golden flight, but I am the, Genie, what should we be at? The violet flight. Yes. Yes. The new violet flight wishes to align with the gold.
Tim / GM:He you see him exhale a cloud of golden flame, and he looks up at you and says,
Speaker 2:you think yourself an equal to me with your few years on this world.
Speaker 4:It's been at least 6, Idris. Is that not persuasive?
Speaker 2:Snack, I have worked 100 of years to establish the golden flight as it exists now. I was a founding member of our draconic society that establishes the rules in this mountain range. How arrogant can you be to think that you deserve a seat among us when you know nothing of what it means to be a dragon?
Speaker 4:Arrogant. I believe Bert taught me that word, but I do not recall. I must assume that it is a compliment. Follow me, Wurbling.
Tim / GM:He breaks this circular pattern that you're flying around each other in, and he takes off for a nearby peak,
Speaker 2:on the mountain Vindorn.
Speaker 4:My allies are probably fine they have those cards. Yes. I will follow you, Idris, by flying because I am also a dragon.
Tim / GM:He looks back and says,
Speaker 2:I am your ally now. You have chosen to be a dragon. Remember?
Speaker 4:Yes.
Tim / GM:He leads you to this large, flat pinnacle, where it looks like this has been artificially flattened and leveled. In the center of it is this large, somewhat spherical boulder that looks like it's been chiseled down painfully over time. Around that boulder are 3 concentric large circles that establish little zones.
Speaker 2:Have you heard of this game?
Speaker 8:Right before you said it, I knew it was Hot Rocks for Dragons.
Speaker 5:Oh my god.
Speaker 8:Before. I opened my mouth. You saw me open my mouth.
Tim / GM:He settles down in front of the giant boulder.
Speaker 2:This is known as Horakaruk. Your kind has perverted the game into some childish drivel known as Hawk Rock.
Speaker 4:Yes. Right. So we only play the game ironically. Well, it's a yes. Of course, this is a real game.
Speaker 4:What did you say it's called again? Horcrux, hope.
Speaker 2:This is an ancient game played among the most prestigious of dragons known as Horakaruk.
Speaker 4:We'll just skip over that. I that's
Speaker 8:Horakarrot.
Tim / GM:Horish carrot.
Speaker 4:I do not hoard any carrots' address, but I will play this game with you.
Tim / GM:He, strides around the boulder and says,
Speaker 2:many kobolds fall for Hawk Rock. But a moment's thought will reveal that the wealthiest person always wins Hawk Rocks.
Speaker 4:You know my secrets.
Tim / GM:He, does the equivalent of a dragon scoff,
Speaker 2:and he says kobolds. Here we make wagers and then we use our magic. The first one to run out of valuables or magic likely loses. You prepared to prove yourself as a dragon.
Speaker 4:Of course, Idris. What are the stakes here?
Speaker 2:We will decide those.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 2:I will go first.
Tim / GM:Here's how this works. You're gonna trade off turns. The attacker is going to prepare to cast a spell at the boulder. The boulder is essentially a black hole of magic that will suck up anything you do to it and just convert it to raw damage, essentially. You're trying to out damage each other on this boulder.
Tim / GM:Right before the spell cast, the other person gets to try to make a perception check to see what level of spell you're trying to use. And then you get to decide whether you're going to make them an offer of something that you own. Okay. If they accept the offer, they will not use the spell. It essentially protects your position for 1 round if you offer them a valuable to not attack you.
Tim / GM:I see. And then turns trade.
John / Doran:Okay.
Tim / GM:He's gonna start his first turn. You see his his expression changes for a moment. He seems to zone out and his eyes flash golden, and then he kind of like lurches forward with one giant claw. Make a perception check to detect the spell he's working with here. Arcana check.
Tim / GM:Sorry, not perception.
John / Doran:Oh, it's fine. That's even worse. 12. You sure you didn't say deception check?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Funny. Okay.
John / Doran:My entire arcana bonus is 12.
Speaker 8:Mine too.
Tim / GM:You have no idea what's coming out here. Are you going to make him an offer to protect yourself? No. Okay. He is going to make an attack on the boulder, and you need to cast a spell as well.
Speaker 4:I might as well cast eldritch blast. Okay.
Speaker 2:Good choice.
Speaker 5:How the fuck is it 12?
Speaker 8:Double proficiency.
John / Doran:Double proficiency.
Speaker 4:Nooms. Nooms.
John / Doran:Can I hex a boulder?
Tim / GM:It's 1 spell cast.
John / Doran:Yeah. 27 to hit. Yes.
Tim / GM:10 to hit here. Okay.
John / Doran:More than 10. More than 10. So
Tim / GM:34? He launches a fireball, and right as that sinks into this orb, you sneak in your eldritch blast kind of underneath it. And you see these forces fight against each other for a second, and then the boulder pops out of this central position, and it rolls towards you crossing over the first line. Idris smiles to himself. We are back to the roller coaster.
Speaker 4:Roller coaster.
Tim / GM:You all see the sky flash
Speaker 4:Oh, coaster.
Tim / GM:And lightning crashes down. The first beacon that you guys are about to pass just now is struck with lightning.
Speaker 7:And that's a good thing. Yeah. Yay.
Speaker 8:Tibia. It will make us fast. I activate the beacon. Yeah.
Tim / GM:I'll say you guys are passing by it, like, pretty much right now.
Speaker 8:So what does activating the beacon look like? A new
Tim / GM:It's really just throwing a lever.
Speaker 8:Okay.
Tim / GM:And so, I'm gonna give you advantage on this because you have reach. The lever is on the beacon itself, and it needs to be, like, thrown.
Speaker 8:Oh, shit.
Tim / GM:Yeah. So, like, as you're going by, you need to, like, grab it and pull it.
Speaker 8:Okay. So lightning strikes, and Tibio sees it happen. He goes, oh,
Speaker 5:I bet I can switch that lever if I try very hard.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You
Speaker 8:said I have advantage?
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 8:And what is it? Just a straight d twenty?
Tim / GM:I would say acrobatics or athletics.
Speaker 8:14.
Tim / GM:Okay. Well, say you kind of throw it almost after a lot of the card has passed. So we will give it some of that speed that it was gonna give to you. It'll add 3 speed. So that means at the top of this round, you guys are at 5 speed total.
Tim / GM:You lost 5 at the end of last round down to 2, added a little bit here. You guys feel that little jolt forward as the lightning courses into your carts, and it is Bert's turn.
Speaker 9:Are we passing by another beacon?
Tim / GM:There's 2 more beacons to go.
Speaker 9:Well, I wanna do something to make it more likely for the beacon to get hit. Bert sees the lightning hit the first beacon, and recognizing that that's what's making the coaster go, he looks to the other beacons to see what he can do to increase the odds. Mhmm. So Bert's gonna cast guardian of faith on top of the second beacon.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 9:And that guardian is going to take out its book and lift its sword right in the air. Just hold it there.
Tim / GM:Okay. Alright. Sounds good. After bird is Holly, and then Lee again.
Speaker 7:Holly's nervous about the the roller coaster Mhmm. And she's gonna try to perceive any dangers ahead again. She's, like, peeking over the edge of the cart like
Speaker 9:Okay. That's what you get for picking the first cart.
Speaker 7:Natural one. Okay.
Tim / GM:Right when you, like, lift your head over the edge of the cart to peek forward, a bat flies against your face No. And just, like, wings outstretched, like, lands on your eyes like a sleeping mask
Speaker 5:No.
Tim / GM:And just, like, flattens against your face. You, like, shake violently, like, trying to get it off and throw it to the ground, and you hear this, like, goom. And then you
Speaker 2:hear, ah, what in the hell? And then
Tim / GM:this vampire stands up in front of you with a essentially a harpoon, like a long pole arm, and it's ready to stab you.
Speaker 8:Oh my god.
Speaker 9:That's a bad one.
Speaker 7:I thought I was gonna get rabies, but this is much worse.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You have a vampire warrior in your cart now.
Speaker 7:Is there anyone else in my cart with me?
Tim / GM:That's up to you. I don't know.
Speaker 7:Dolly's probably with me.
Tim / GM:Yeah. That makes sense.
Speaker 7:And Sal?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Actually, probably Danny Deepak is up here.
Speaker 7:Is it the front?
Speaker 5:What do we call him?
Tim / GM:And you don't know where Sal is.
Speaker 8:Kenny Cartman. Kenny Cartman.
Tim / GM:Kyle Cartman.
Speaker 4:Kyle
Speaker 8:Cartman. Kyle Cartman.
Speaker 7:Do I sub an action, or is that it?
Tim / GM:No. We'll we'll make that. I mean, you're in the first card. It makes sense for you to make. We'll say you get a free perception check each round because you're on the front card.
Speaker 7:Great. Great. Great.
Tim / GM:I'll I'll say you also see ahead of you, the options of switching tracks. You could either switch tracks to make the carts go faster, giving you, 2 more speed for the next round, or you could go through a covered bridge and give yourself protection from attackers for the next round.
Speaker 7:Mhmm. I'll do the tunnel Okay. In hopes that the dwarf won't be able to see me very good in the dark, but probably not because they have dark vision. So it's a bad plan, Holly.
Speaker 5:He's a vampire. So
Speaker 9:We can add the we can add the w in post.
Speaker 7:Okay. No. Wait. I don't wanna wait. Should I do it?
Speaker 7:Sal, what would you do?
Tim / GM:Sal's not there.
Speaker 7:What?
Tim / GM:He wasn't with you when you got soul captured.
Speaker 7:Oh, because he was in the maze.
Speaker 8:Yeah. Mhmm.
Speaker 7:No. Sal probably became, like, the cat of the bad guy now. He likes to do that.
Speaker 9:The cat of the bad guy.
Tim / GM:The cat of my enemy, I
Speaker 5:guess, my friend.
Speaker 7:Holly takes a imaginary baseball bat and whacks the thing to turn the track going into the tunnel.
Tim / GM:Okay. Fair enough.
Speaker 7:There's a baseball bat in the front cart. Why not?
Tim / GM:Yes. No. I get to
Speaker 9:make up skateboards. That's fine.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. We'll say the the the cart is speeding along, and Holly, you're kind of looking for anywhere else to be now that you're in close quarters with a vampire dwarf warrior assassin.
Tim / GM:Looking around for options, you see this large lever sticking out on the track, giving you the opportunity to change tracks. Do you wanna go for extra speed or for the cover? I'll go
Speaker 7:for the cover. I'll just stick with my
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 7:What I wanted.
Tim / GM:Cool. Yeah. Holly, slams the lever to the left, and you all, stay on kind of a level plane and move towards this large covered bridge area that looks like it's a little depot to offload minerals. Uli.
Speaker 5:Okay. So back to my original Thunder Wave idea. Yeah. I forgot I I forgot I have assimilation, and I can change the effects itself.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Cool.
Speaker 5:So I still wanna do that. Mhmm. Because I assume that because we're on a track and we're not motionless and solid, that it would push
Tim / GM:Yeah. That totally. Yep.
Speaker 5:Okay. I'm gonna do that to make it a thunder beam.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Back up.
Speaker 5:Yeah. Yeah. Thunderwave just happens. Yep. Assimilation doesn't.
Speaker 5:I have to roll
Tim / GM:for that.
Speaker 5:You do. Yeah. But it's a DC 10.
Tim / GM:Okay. Because of the spell level.
Speaker 5:Spell level.
Tim / GM:Which is 1, I think, or 2? Are you casting it at first level?
Speaker 5:I don't know. Is it gonna do very much?
Tim / GM:How much power do you wanna put into it?
Speaker 5:I just mean, like, the higher up I go, the harder it is to get that. I think I'll just stay with 1.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 5:See if this because I don't think I've really ever used assimilation much. Sure. So so that is dirty 20.
Tim / GM:Alright. Yeah. You are able to thunder wave, and as that pushes out from you, you just kind of, like, funnel it all in front of you into more of a cone that goes one direction, knowing that there's only a tenuous connection, a little piece of iron that connects you to the next cart in front of you.
Speaker 5:Okay. For flavor.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 5:I, like, open my arms really big, and I just, like, slam them forward. And as soon as it's coming out, I realized that nobody knows I'm doing this.
Speaker 9:And I'm
Speaker 5:like, oh, shit. Hang on, everyone. Yeah. After I've already pressed it.
Tim / GM:You feel your cart slam into the one ahead of you, and then that one slams into the one ahead of it. And now you're pushing from the back to maintain the speed of this thing. That gave your kart 3 speed
Speaker 5:added to the total.
Tim / GM:You guys are at speed. Are at 8 speed
Speaker 4:now. Oh, nice. You are
Tim / GM:you are approaching ludicrous speed.
Speaker 9:Fast eight.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Also, Uli, along with that, when you cast thunder wave on this structure, you all hear this awful as the track splits and creases and folds and bends and
Speaker 7:Behind us.
Tim / GM:Behind you.
Speaker 5:Not me that wasn't me.
Tim / GM:You can see, like, part of this, like, scaffolding that holds up these rails, like, fall slowly over into the canyon and just crumble beneath.
Speaker 5:I wow. Did you see that? Lightning just struck behind us. Holy shit, guys.
Speaker 7:From lamplight to Vindorn. The road of destruction left by Uli.
Tim / GM:Snack, there's another flash of lightning, and it's your turn.
John / Doran:Is it, like, you lose 3 times and you lose sort of thing?
Tim / GM:If it goes off the off this precipice with the 3 circles that it's got outlined. So you basically go, like, central piece, and then you've got 1, 2, and then you're dead. Got it. And you are at 1 right now.
Speaker 8:So it's more dead.
Tim / GM:Yeah. With extra steps.
Speaker 4:I've never lost hawk rocks. I will not lose at horticulture.
John / Doran:Snack is going to
Tim / GM:Perfect.
John / Doran:Try to use deception to make it appear as if I'm doing, like, everything in my power Okay. To do, like, the most powerful thing I can do.
Tim / GM:Beautiful.
John / Doran:So, yeah. I, like, ex expand my arms out wide and I do a, like, a upside down back flip spin and then land on my feet and then do another spin and then, like, hold my cloud in front of
Speaker 4:me. Okay.
Speaker 8:Are you
Speaker 5:gonna make her do
Tim / GM:an acrobat? I mean, you're still used to being, like, a different form because, like, you're trying to do this as a dragon, and it's just totally different. You have so much more weight in you. You're, like, trying to flip, and you have to, like, flap 2 extra times just to get yourself to, like, flip over, but you land down and hold out a claw. Give me a deception check with advantage.
Tim / GM:Alright.
John / Doran:Sweet. God. 19.
Tim / GM:You see Idris, like, smirks as soon as you start casting, and then all of a sudden, you see his eyes flash into absolute panic.
Speaker 2:He says, I My my mountain. I offer it to you. Please, stay your spell if my temple is yours.
Speaker 4:I suppose this is fair. Yes. I abstain my spell.
Tim / GM:Yeah. So you lose the spell slot for what that was really going to be.
John / Doran:It was gonna be Eldridge Blast.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Spoiler
Speaker 8:alert. I've
Tim / GM:never seen
Speaker 4:this much. Which is my best spell.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Pretty much. So, instead of even countering with his best, he immediately gives up one of his favored possessions. Oh. Seeing that you were about to, like, blow the best thing you had, he totally he got a natural one against you.
Speaker 4:Oh my god. My god.
Speaker 5:So he lost his house
Tim / GM:in betting. If you win, you get his mountain.
Speaker 4:Can we just if we stop here, who wins, Idris?
Speaker 2:The bowler is on your side.
Speaker 4:Shit.
Speaker 2:That would mean I am the victor should you forfeit.
Speaker 4:I do not I do not forfeit.
Speaker 2:Then we continue.
Tim / GM:He reels back to cast another spell. Give me an arcana check.
John / Doran:God, demon.
Tim / GM:18. Okay. He is about to throw another level 3 fireball.
John / Doran:Do I have a sense
Tim / GM:of how close the The difference between your damage was 1.
John / Doran:Okay. I'll let him do fireball. K. Mostly because I have no possessions. 15, 17, so 3 hits.
John / Doran:I'm gonna get better at this, I promise.
Tim / GM:44. Oh, shit. His fireball sinks into it, and you can see the whole thing flash with this glassy red sheen. And then your Eldritch Blast hits it from the other side, and you see it just, like, lurch away back into the center position.
Speaker 5:Yes.
Tim / GM:Yes. Deep growl out of Idris. Yeah. We're back on the coaster, and it's Tibeo.
Speaker 8:And And
Tim / GM:it's lightning. I'm sorry.
Speaker 8:Yeah.
Speaker 9:Don't forget there's a lightning rod on top of the lightning rod.
Tim / GM:Correcto. Lightning flashes down, obliterating Bert's guardian spirit. Not really. But it flashes down right on top of her and strikes the second beacon Yeah. With exactly that, the role that you needed for it to hit that.
Tim / GM:It is charged and ready. Tibio, you're at 3 speed for the wagon. It lost 5.
Speaker 8:And how much speed does a beacon give it?
Tim / GM:5.
Speaker 8:And how much do we need?
Tim / GM:Well, to move it all, you need 1, but you're not going very fast. I will say also right now that black cloud is a cloud of bats, and it is now upon your roller coaster. Are
Speaker 7:we in the tunnel?
Tim / GM:Yes. You all here is like, like, approaching, like, rapidly on your cart group. And as soon as they would like overwhelm, overtake your group of mine carts, you guys disappear into darkness and you just hear this rushing going past you as you're going through a dark tunnel.
Speaker 7:Tibio, I I got a visitor in my cart, and, Holly is trying to back away from
Tim / GM:Yeah. There's nowhere to back away to.
Speaker 4:The man. Yeah.
Speaker 8:I'm gonna cast Mindwhip on this vampire.
Tim / GM:Brand new. Okay.
Speaker 5:Mind oh, yeah.
Speaker 8:And it needs to make an intelligence saving throw.
Tim / GM:Okay. Okay.
Speaker 8:Did it fail?
Tim / GM:It oh, it got a, 4 total.
Speaker 8:Yeah. That fails. Yeah. It takes 3 d 6 psychic damage.
Tim / GM:K. And it
Speaker 8:can't take a reaction until the end of its next turn.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 8:Also, on its next turn, it has to choose whether it moves, takes an action, or takes a bonus action. It only gets 1.
Tim / GM:Okay. Cool.
Speaker 5:Give that vamp a snap.
Speaker 8:12, psychic damage k. To Holly's new vampire boyfriend.
Speaker 5:Yeah. Just keep picking up dudes wherever you are. Alright.
Tim / GM:So Tibio, from the middle of the carts, you call out to Holly, and then everybody in the carts between you kind of like pulls apart from each other. So it gives you a clear path from the middle of the carts to the front where Holly is. And then Holly even, like, backs away from it, and then the dwarf, like, looks down this middle row of parted people and has a straight shot towards you, and you're just like, hey. Yeah. And you give him a little mind whip.
Tim / GM:Is this a bard thing or a necromancer thing?
Speaker 8:This is a wizard spell.
Tim / GM:Okay. Cool. So, yeah, this is with your necromantic tendrils. Mhmm. And, you see his eyes just kind of, like, go dazed, and you can tell that, like, he all of a sudden has no idea where he is or what's going on.
Speaker 8:So I, like, whipped my spine cloak, and it just kept going, but no bones, just energy.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Cool. Mhmm. Okay. Yeah.
Tim / GM:He is dazed. Bert, it's on you.
Speaker 9:Alright. Do I need to use an action to activate the No.
Tim / GM:We'll call it a bonus action or something.
Speaker 9:Oh, okay. Hey, Guardian. The lever, if you please.
Speaker 7:I just imagine there's a Statue of Liberty
Speaker 4:for the
Speaker 8:reasons she's
Tim / GM:She's got a sword in the
Speaker 4:Pretty much.
Tim / GM:Yeah. She's holding up the sword, and then, like, at your mention, she just kind of mechanically drops her arm to one side, like some kind of, like, animatronic signage or something, and throws the lever. You all feel the cart underneath you ramp up again, and you pull forward. You are at 8 speed again.
Speaker 9:Hoof. Holly, I'll try to help you out too. Brett's gonna toss a sacred flame at this vampire. Okay.
Speaker 7:Hollow's gonna duck. Is that
Speaker 9:a save from Makes a deck save.
Tim / GM:Alright. Not great. That's a 15 total.
Speaker 9:DC is 17.
Tim / GM:Yes. Okay. Fails up.
Speaker 5:Are all of the friends we escaped with on the Yeah. Alright.
Speaker 9:It's 18 damage.
Tim / GM:Okay. Damn. Holly, you saw this vampire get mind whipped by Tibeo, and it just kind of has this dazed expression on its face. And then while it's standing there staring back at Tibio, all of a sudden, this golden pillar of flame just envelops it from nowhere. And when that light flashes up, you can see Bert at the, like, end of the other carts with his arms outstretched.
Speaker 9:He looks cool.
Speaker 7:Is he dead?
Tim / GM:No. He's still standing. He kind of, like, like just does like a and you see like smoke coming out of his mouth.
Speaker 9:How do vampires do with radiant damage by the way?
Tim / GM:Bad. Go ahead and double. Okay. Alright.
Speaker 9:Set up 36.
Tim / GM:Alright. Well, remember what I said about the vampire being alive?
Speaker 7:He's dead. Yeah.
Tim / GM:With that, actually, the this sacred flame goes off, and you see this, like, white gold fire kind of start at his feet and just climb up his body. And he looks at you, and he goes, and he just turns into dust.
Speaker 7:Woah. And then the dust sprinkles on everyone in the carts behind
Tim / GM:him. Yeah. Yeah. You see, like, everybody. Constitution scene.
Tim / GM:You see fibolo and Gaspard and Dor and and Uli's mom and Sid and Norb and Buster and Todd are all just like.
Speaker 8:It's like someone in the driver's seat just smoking a cigarette Yeah. Dashed out the window.
Speaker 5:Hey. Where's Ilia?
Tim / GM:Funny question. Alright. Next is, Holly. Holly herself.
Speaker 7:Holly is gonna stand up in the cart again, like, carefully holding the sides, and she's like, thank you, friends. And then, she's gonna turn around and try to proceed ahead. 20. Non natural 20.
Tim / GM:Okay. Nice. Yeah. You're about to exit this tunnel. When you do, you'll have the option to go off a jump or give yourself speed.
Tim / GM:Going going off of a jump would rid you of all of your current assailants.
Speaker 5:And the rest of the party.
Speaker 4:Can I
Speaker 7:see the back cloud anywhere?
Tim / GM:The back cloud looks like looks like it's still trying to catch up to you, but it is not as fast as you guys.
Speaker 7:I'm going for the speed.
Tim / GM:Alright. You notice one other thing. It looks like lightning moving sideways, a white a white arching beam that is dancing from point to point coming towards your carts. It is massive. Uh-oh.
Speaker 9:Holly, fix that.
Speaker 7:Okay. Holly casts. Holly's gonna cast witch bolt at it.
Tim / GM:The big thing?
Speaker 7:Yep. Okay. Except at a the highest level she can, which is
John / Doran:6.
Speaker 5:6 level. Just, like, ticks on the wall. Do I wanna do it?
Speaker 7:I'll do a 5th level. I don't wanna waste my 1 6th level.
Tim / GM:Sure.
Speaker 4:K.
Speaker 7:Holly sees the sideways lightning and thinks it might be an a natural being. So Holly, takes, a crystal out of her pocket, one of her big ones Yeah. And she holds it out.
Tim / GM:Oh, yeah. Okay. You get, like, the big kahuna. Like, you've been waiting on this one, but it's this giant cluster of quartz that you've never used before.
Speaker 7:Yep. And she cast witch bolt.
Tim / GM:Okay. It's my lucky crystal.
Speaker 7:Oh, it was gonna be a 20, and then it hit my box.
Speaker 9:Kept rolling?
Speaker 7:No. It hit the box A 22.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. That does hit.
Speaker 7:Yay.
Tim / GM:Okay. So, Holly, looking through this tunnel out the back gate, that you're almost, like, completely through the tunnel now, you can see this this white mass moving towards you. You take a long shot, Like, at at the absolute maximum range of Witch Bolt and probably a little bit beyond that, you point at this thing, and the whole line of people, like, splits to not get hit by this. But your witch bolt extends backwards and locks on to that white creature, that white thing, and begins pouring energy into it. At that moment, everyone on the carts can hear this disembodied voice whispering out,
Speaker 4:foul witch.
Speaker 5:Well, that's rude.
Speaker 9:Woah. Was that a guy?
Speaker 5:Who is that?
Tim / GM:And the white mass actually stops in its tracks.
Speaker 7:Yay. Can I hit damage now?
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 7:5 d 12, 26 damage. I didn't roll very good.
Tim / GM:Okay. Everyone on the cards can see this pulsing beam that is now connected between Holly and this entity outside, and you can see her, just pouring everything she's got into this. Some of you, probably Tibio, when that voice cries out, you recognize it for Orzo.
Speaker 8:Fuck that guy.
Tim / GM:Perhaps the one person he's afraid of in this world just locked onto him. The one person that has ever really hurt him.
Speaker 7:Holly Hyacinth. Holly Hyacinth. What the fuck?
Tim / GM:After Holly, it is Uli.
Speaker 5:It is Uli. Uli is going to quicken spells so I can have a bonus action to put protection from energy on myself. Lightning protection. Yeah. And I surge.
Speaker 2:Alright.
Speaker 5:It's been a while, guys.
Speaker 8:Fantastic.
Tim / GM:Excellent timing just as you're about to leave that tunnel.
Speaker 5:Perfect. Can't wait.
Speaker 8:Alright, guys. What do you think it's gonna be?
Speaker 5:Yeah. Take your butt. Think it's
Tim / GM:gonna be her turning into a plant because that hasn't happened yet. Dude, that's to me.
John / Doran:I don't wanna be a plant. Unicorn that falls off the cliff. Oh my god.
Tim / GM:Just like a
Speaker 8:summon the unicorn again.
Tim / GM:In open air.
Speaker 8:The same one. Can she turn into flower petals? Is that one?
Speaker 5:I summoned flower petals.
Tim / GM:Or butterflies.
Speaker 8:Yeah. Turn blue. Turn blue. Turn blue.
Speaker 5:Tara wins. Woah. Way.
Speaker 7:Is it really? Yes.
Speaker 9:That's a 1 in a hundo. I know.
Speaker 8:You're I'm a 23
Speaker 5:to 24. I rolled a 23.
John / Doran:I would say
Speaker 8:I'm a genius.
Speaker 5:Your skin turns a vibrant vibrant shade of blue. Right. Remove curse spell can end this effect, but you don't know that.
John / Doran:Cursebreakers. Cursebreakers.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 5:Okay. I don't think I'm gonna notice right away because I just cast protection from lightning on myself. Yeah. And I assume it has, like, a blue
Speaker 4:sort of sheen. True. Yeah.
Speaker 5:So we'll save that. Wait.
Speaker 7:Did we establish Dave is in the cart with her?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah. I'll give you this, Uli. You have protection from lightning as long as you choose to stay blue.
Speaker 2:Wow. Woah.
Speaker 8:Yes. That's a fun surge.
Speaker 5:I don't need to be green.
Speaker 7:Blue for you.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Do do do
Speaker 5:do do.
Speaker 4:I'm just wondering
John / Doran:if you're suffocating. Or very cold.
Speaker 5:Okay. That was just my bonus action. So I'm just, I think, gonna try to do the Thunderwave thing again.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 5:If I mean, that's kind of boring, but maybe I'll do a 4th level.
Speaker 8:Can we call Olli Blueley now?
Speaker 7:Blue? Blueley. Blueley.
Tim / GM:Blueley. Dave and Blueley.
Speaker 5:I mean, that's the color that Oele Koolies are. Yeah. Blue. I I'm that color. Okay.
Speaker 5:Oele Koolie colored.
Tim / GM:Oele Koolie blue.
Speaker 5:It's Baja Blast. Yeah. Should be right. TM.
Tim / GM:Please sponsor us.
Speaker 5:Please. Please. Sorry. Okay. I'm rolling to see if I surge again.
Speaker 5:We're good. 17.
Tim / GM:Yep. You're good? Yes. Alright. That's another successful thunder wave.
Speaker 5:But it's more powerful.
Tim / GM:Are you gonna warn people this time?
Speaker 5:I forgot already. Okay. Alright.
Speaker 7:A lot going on.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You all get pushed from behind again as you're exiting this tunnel. You feel another blast of speed come from behind, and, yeah, you all kind of, like, shutter forward. You are now at 13 speed. You have surpassed ludicrous speed.
Tim / GM:Breakneck. It literally it feels it feels dangerous. You can all feel the wheels wobbling beneath your carts, and you can see, like, non lightning sparks that are starting to come out, and the bottom of your carts are getting really hot. Like, almost like I can't be in here hot.
Speaker 5:Wow. Lightning again, guys. I have I don't know.
Tim / GM:Next up is
Speaker 9:Inside the tunnel?
Speaker 5:It's it's probably like magical lightning. I don't know.
Tim / GM:The you you see, like Weird. You see, like, light flood this tunnel as the shingles and the roof is blown away, and you just hear, like, wood scraps going everywhere. You can look out to see Orzo, like, writhing this white mass that is connected with a witch bolt. He's, like, trying to, like, fight it away from him. You can see this cloud of bats that was trying to get into the tunnel.
Tim / GM:They're kind of being blown away by the explosion. Yeah. Uli has once again just destroyed everything behind you. That brings us back to Snack and Idris atop the mountain. Snack, it's your turn.
Speaker 4:Genie, do we have any new abilities as a dragon? I was just curious. I was looking at my spell book, and I don't see any other options here. Kind of a a one trick dragon, so to speak.
Tim / GM:Okay. Snack Genie does not respond to you. It's a little startling, a little disheartening that you don't get his counsel in this moment. However, looking inside yourself, you do understand that you have new capabilities. You don't know if they're going to help you in this moment.
Tim / GM:However, in game, you do know that you have a special move up your sleeve that might be able to help you in some way. Maybe not right now. I'll let you name this whatever you want to. But essentially, you breathe fire onto yourself, and then go as fast as you possibly can. The working title is hot streak.
Tim / GM:Mhmm. You you utilize your incredible speed to teleport up to a quarter mile and immediately cast fireball at your location. Up to
John / Doran:a quarter mile or okay.
Tim / GM:Up to. So like a bullet. The other ability you have is gavel smash. You can do this any amount of times. You notice your left claw has a giant manhole sized seal on it that is chained to the inside of your palm.
Tim / GM:It is the seal of Tildry.
John / Doran:Wait. What?
Tim / GM:There's essentially a giant disk that is on the underside of your palm that is like tied to it. It is chained to your palm. Whenever you slam your left claw, you can summon anyone who has the tilting mark, or you can permanently summon anyone who is a suitor of snack.
Speaker 4:Oh my god.
John / Doran:That's fucking sweet.
Speaker 9:Like a permanent yo yo. Yes.
Speaker 4:Very funny. Genie ignoring snack when he's a little scared.
John / Doran:Okay. I stir down Idris.
Tim / GM:He looks ready this time.
John / Doran:How far away are each of the rings? Yeah. Maybe, like, 15 feet. And in this scenario, when is the boulder's turn if it had a turn? I was considering casting, Sickening Radiance, which is a concentration spell that stays on an area.
John / Doran:And then at the start of its turn, if it's in that area, it takes 40 10 radiant damage. So my scheme was cast a spell once, and then as long as it's in that sphere, it's gonna that damage is gonna get added to my
Tim / GM:Yeah. Give it a shot.
Speaker 4:Okay. You can surrender any time, Idris, and then I do the conjuration of sickening radiance.
Tim / GM:Mhmm. He kind of gives you this, like, shakes his head, like, in a huge exaggerated way, and he says, foolish whelp.
John / Doran:Okay. So I'm gonna cast it on the center and first one closest to Idris.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Okay.
John / Doran:So those 2 it'll well, I'll just get this damage this time.
Tim / GM:Oof. That was brutal. What level is your spell?
John / Doran:So it I guess it's 5th level.
Tim / GM:Okay. Alright. You see Idris, like, his eyes just go, like, crazy for a second, and he tracks your hand motions like a cat watching a bird. You know that he knows exactly what you're trying to do. And so he backs up, throws out both of his wings, and you see these little purple darts start to form on the tips of his wing spikes, and he throws them all out at once.
Tim / GM:He is casting magic messle at a 6th level.
John / Doran:Okay. We definitely he probably beat me, but yeah.
Tim / GM:Okay. Let's roll out that damage.
John / Doran:Okay. So we got 14 plus that 4. It's 18 radiant damage.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Unfortunately, you see these magic missiles pound into the boulder one after another, and you can see the point at which it overtakes your damage. Mhmm. It rolls towards you out of the sickening radiance.
John / Doran:Let me double check the radius because that's definitely important. It's 30 foot radius. Radius.
Tim / GM:So So if you cast it on the center, it would go out 2 rings. So you still got it.
John / Doran:Okay. Good. Yeah. So does Idris know what spell I cast?
Tim / GM:Yeah. I mean, I think he can still see the effect of it Okay. Playing out. Yeah.
John / Doran:So it it's important for you to know, Azadris, that it's a concentration spell probably.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 4:So
Speaker 2:Learning faster than I anticipated, Still not enough.
Tim / GM:He reels back again to begin his turn. Give me an iconic check.
John / Doran:14.
Speaker 9:Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You do not see what he's coming up with.
Speaker 4:Okay. It's probably garbage.
John / Doran:We'll let it happen. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. I mean, you have to contest this one Oh, what? With, like, an eldritch blast
Speaker 4:or something.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Got it. Cool.
Speaker 8:So you could still win.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4:I don't
Speaker 8:know how to play Hot Rocks. Rocks. Apparently.
John / Doran:Oh, I got a natural twenty. Does that matter on rocks?
Tim / GM:You crit with an ultra splash for
John / Doran:sure. Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 4:Do I get that
John / Doran:weird, like, house rule thing where I can roll again?
Tim / GM:Just to see Do it. Do it. Do it. Oh my god. Do it.
John / Doran:No. Okay.
Tim / GM:It's never gonna happen again. Yeah.
John / Doran:Oh, man. Okay. That's still good, though. I have one more roll. 3 hits.
John / Doran:1 of them is a critical. 43. 33.
Tim / GM:What? What? Oh, yes. He cast chain lightning.
Speaker 4:Oh, man. Damn.
Tim / GM:Which is 10 d 8. And he still came in second time.
John / Doran:I mean, it is a cantrip, so
Tim / GM:damn. Against a 6th level spell.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. He yeah. You see him pile this chain lightning into it, forming from his mouth. And and gold dragons are not known for this type of magic.
Tim / GM:He is trying to send you curve balls to throw you off your game, and for a second it does arc out towards you. You're gonna take a little bit of lightning damage yourself.
Speaker 9:Okay. Well, without the crate, you would have lost probably. Right?
John / Doran:Yeah. For sure. Because that last roll, I rolled a 10. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Give me a dexterity Oh
Speaker 4:my god. That was a weird ass roll.
John / Doran:I just threw it at myself. 10.
Tim / GM:That's just not succeeding.
John / Doran:How is that not good enough? Not by a long shot. Okay.
Tim / GM:So you also take 33 lightning damage. What? Yeah. It's full damage. Okay.
Speaker 2:Says, you'll have to excuse my passion.
John / Doran:I gotta roll a concentration to maintain that
Speaker 4:for a spell. Okay?
Tim / GM:And it's against a DC of 16.
Speaker 4:Fuck. Fuck.
Tim / GM:Fuck. What is a
Speaker 8:Oh, you did.
John / Doran:15. Oh. Okay.
Tim / GM:He huffs a golden plume and sees your spell dissipate, and he says,
Speaker 2:so much to learn.
Speaker 8:But the rock moves.
John / Doran:It does.
Tim / GM:It does move. It's,
John / Doran:Back center.
Tim / GM:Back and center. Yep. Shit. Back to the carts. Tibio.
Speaker 7:Now the lightning.
Tim / GM:Lightning? Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.
Tim / GM:Yep. Yep. Everybody roll a d twenty.
Speaker 5:Okay. Add anything or just straight?
Speaker 8:Just straight up. 12. 3. 4. 13.
Speaker 8:Wow.
Tim / GM:Hey, Bert. It's You
Speaker 9:all feeling pretty good about that vampire kill.
Tim / GM:You all come bursting out of that, covered tunnel as it is crumbling and being destroyed behind you, and Uli is turning around blue with this bashful look on her face, watching the whole thing fall away. And, there's a sudden flash, and it's so loud for everyone there. Bert, you don't feel much of anything until you feel the wind knocked out of you.
John / Doran:Her
Tim / GM:29 lightning damage comes crashing into you, Bert, as you are the target of the next lightning strike.
Speaker 2:Hi, Ezel.
Tim / GM:Hi, Ezel.
Speaker 9:Do I move faster?
Tim / GM:Yes, actually. Your cart does gain a little bit of speed off of that.
Speaker 5:Yes. Hyzel, indeed.
Tim / GM:Alright. You guys went back down to 8 speed at the beginning of this round. With that lightning strike, you're back up to 9.
Speaker 5:That's so cool. Thanks, Bert.
Speaker 8:Not too bad.
Tim / GM:Still something. Beginning of this round will be Tibeo.
Speaker 5:Mhmm. Tibeo.
Speaker 8:So I see Orzo back in there. How far away is he now?
Tim / GM:He was pretty close when Holly smacked him. So he's probably within 50 feet of you guys and, like, rapidly distancing kind of thing.
Speaker 8:Okay. So he's still within a 120 feet per se? Just just a random number. Definitely. It's just a curiosity that I had.
Speaker 8:Sure. Tibio looks back and sees Orzo Mhmm. Mojo Mhmm. Whatever. And he says, you gonna get just, and he casts also sickening radiance.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 8:For Tibio, it's, he throws out his hands in front of him, and it's kind of this purply cloud that kind of floats out of his hands and swirls around toward Orzo.
Tim / GM:Mhmm.
Speaker 8:It is a constitution saving throw.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 8:Okay. So, yeah, when a creature moves into the spell's area for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there, it must succeed on a con save.
Tim / GM:Okay. So you're just kind of casting a sphere in the air sort of thing?
Speaker 5:Mhmm.
Tim / GM:Okay. Sounds good.
Speaker 2:So
Tim / GM:he'll go in just a couple turns here. Bert, it's on you. You were just struck by lightning.
Speaker 9:Bert's gonna turn the crank. Okay.
Speaker 4:That's all he's got.
Tim / GM:Alright. One speed. You guys are up to 10. Holly.
Speaker 7:So you said Orzo moved about he's about 50 feet away now?
Tim / GM:Yep. About. And he's in the middle of Tibio's sickening radiance. Also, Holly, give me a perception check here.
Speaker 5:Oh, okay.
Speaker 7:19.
Tim / GM:Nice. Okay. You can see, that there is one more beacon to go but it hasn't been charged yet and it's unlikely you'll be able to get that one. You also notice that there's a break on the track coming up and that you're going to need at least 8 speed at the beginning of next round to make that jump. You're at 10 right now and you're gonna lose 5.
Speaker 8:It's alright.
Speaker 7:I got I got feather fall. We'll be fine.
Speaker 5:You'll be fine. Yeah. Oh, we're fine.
Speaker 7:So which bolt dropped because Orzo moved more than 30 feet away, which is the range on which bolt. Sure. How wide is the gap in the track?
Tim / GM:So the brake itself is, like like, 35, 40 feet across. Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 7:Tibio? Tibio? I don't know if I should if I should Craig or if if I should hurt try to hurt Orzo again. I think it's Orzo over there.
Speaker 5:Make sure we don't roll off the jacks.
Speaker 7:Holly, I guess we'll try to crank to go faster to make the jump.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Yeah, Holly, you like, you see your crank is kind of free floating by itself, like, turning a little bit, and then you just kind of, like, latch on and start bobbing up and down with it. Like, at the front of the cart is if you're rowing a little thing to make it go.
Speaker 4:It's like
Speaker 5:when you're going on a hill on
Tim / GM:a bike. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And the hills yeah.
Tim / GM:Go out of control. Yep.
Speaker 4:So,
Tim / GM:yeah, you guys are picking up speed again. You're getting to that, like, scary speed kind of thing. And then it's back to Uli.
Speaker 5:How fast are we going?
Tim / GM:You're going 11. 11.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 7:We got that turned to 11.
Speaker 5:When the electricity happens Mhmm. Where is it going to?
Tim / GM:It's the track itself. Transfers energy, like, into the carts themselves.
Speaker 5:Okay. Yeah. Dave, hang on to me. I'm going to
Tim / GM:He goes, yes.
Speaker 5:Yes. I'm gonna lean out the cart.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. He's, like, got you by the back of your shirt to, like, hold you out there.
Speaker 5:I'm gonna cast shock and grasp.
Tim / GM:Mhmm.
Speaker 5:And, like, I know we're going fast, but if I'm, like, letting my hands drag
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5:As much touch as I can do to the track, like, directly under my cart.
Tim / GM:Yeah. And
Speaker 5:it casts at an 11th level.
Speaker 4:No. Can't trip it.
Speaker 5:I'm in 11th level. Sure. So it casts higher because shut the fuck up.
Tim / GM:It's essentially level 2. Yeah. For 3.
Speaker 5:Yeah. It's a big a bigger zap.
Speaker 9:So yeah. Vindorn is vaporized by your 11th level spell.
Speaker 5:Yeah. It only goes up
Speaker 8:to 9.
Speaker 5:11th me level. Do I have to make a spell attack if I'm literally touching the tracks and it's not a person?
Tim / GM:Okay. Control damage. Yeah. That's
Speaker 5:15.
Tim / GM:Okay. Lightning was the key here, electricity. When you do that, the carts hungrily devour this energy that you're putting out, and that little trick is gonna cost you sorry. It's gonna add 5. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Bringing your carts to 16.
Speaker 8:Oh, where did I?
Tim / GM:You look ahead of you as you're, like, halfway out of your cart, Uli, and you see the carts ahead of you, their wheels are starting to become luminous with heat.
Speaker 5:I'm hanging out the back. So I'm looking under the carts, and I see all of them light up.
Tim / GM:Yeah. And, like, all of these, like, sparks just, like, showering down. Like, the wind is rushing through your hair. You guys can barely hear each other with the force that you're going at now?
Speaker 5:I I think maybe this time you hang on, probably. Sorry. Didn't warn you. Hang on.
Tim / GM:At that moment, you all see this cloud of bats begin to catch up with the group. And then as soon as this burst of speed comes, you all just rocket away from them so that they could never catch up to you. However
Speaker 5:I'm hanging out the back with my middle fingers up.
Tim / GM:You see Orzo moving forward, and suddenly he hits this sphere. And he, like, kind of tries to skirt it or go around it, but then he just finds himself tumbling through it, and you can see him like writhing and bucking, and it like his body is just flailing. When he gets closer, you can see that at the center of this white effigy is Orzo himself, the dwarf, flying towards you. However, give me your sickening radiance.
Speaker 8:Yeah. He has to do a con save.
Tim / GM:Okay. 6 total.
Speaker 8:That ain't it. Alright. Okay. So it is 4 d 10 radiant damage. 26?
Speaker 8:Yeah. Radiant damage.
Tim / GM:Okay. Then we doubled that because it's Orzo.
Speaker 8:That's 52. 52. Cool. 52 radiant damage. Whoo.
Speaker 7:This is just the pre battle warm up.
Tim / GM:Alright. With that, you see him tumble through this sphere, and then he kind of like lags in his flight, and he drops some altitude, and then he like comes up again to try to chase your cart, and then you break away with this speed. He can't even catch up to you. And then you see him plummet again, and then you see Orzo crash into the bottom of the canyon. That brings us to snack.
Speaker 4:Genie, you are you still there?
Tim / GM:You wait a moment, but you get no response. I,
John / Doran:I wipe off the still, lingering static electricity jumping around me from the chain lightning.
Speaker 4:Mhmm. I'm learning some rules to this game. Why don't you sit and take a breather, Idris, and do nothing? Mhmm.
John / Doran:I'm gonna cast, mass suggestion.
Tim / GM:Okay.
John / Doran:On Idris. Okay. So I suppose he could make a perception to see what level of spell I'm casting.
Speaker 4:I don't know if
Tim / GM:I think what you said was so confusing that he he's, like, so interested to see what's coming next that, he actually just kinda gives you, like, an eyebrow. Where's this going?
John / Doran:Alright. So, creature, the dragon, makes a wisdom saving throw k. Against me.
Speaker 5:Not the rock. Oh. Okay.
John / Doran:Is it a big number? Continue.
Speaker 9:It's either big or small is what I'm thinking.
John / Doran:Okay. So I asked Idris to just sit there and do nothing is my is my, math suggestion.
Tim / GM:Okay. Snack. Make a wisdom
Speaker 4:save. What? Snack does not do wisdom.
Speaker 9:And if you included the boulder in your suggestion, then the boulder could just stay there.
Tim / GM:Well, it's like, I was told to not move.
John / Doran:Alright. Wisdom safe? Wisdom safe.
Tim / GM:8. You see, like, almost like he's moving through like a curtain or something. You see his whole body flash starting at his nose moving down his tail. And you see his eyes go a dull amber and he looks at you and he says,
Speaker 2:I don't think I will. I think you will forfeit.
Speaker 4:And, it
Tim / GM:sounds like a good idea.
Speaker 9:Do I have to?
Tim / GM:You do have to follow the mass suggestion that was reflected on you.
Speaker 2:Oh. Do I
John / Doran:do I have a legendary action?
Tim / GM:Yes. You do.
Speaker 4:Yes. What? What? Are you talking? You're
Speaker 5:kidding me. Alright.
Speaker 9:Oh my god.
Speaker 4:I was
John / Doran:like Jesus. No.
Speaker 4:Okay. I snack the dragon. Will not forfeit. No.
Speaker 2:You are no dragon. No. Let's
Speaker 5:finish the game.
Speaker 3:Hi. It's me, your genie. Thanks for listening to people being other people. If you want to help Master Snack and his servants, you could make my wish come true by following us on Instagram at pbop_podcast. That's p b o p underscore podcast.
Speaker 3:Thank you very much.