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The Gate Youth Association is a 501(c)(3), non-profit corporation whose mission is to demonstrate Christ’s love to the youth of our community through academic, social, recreational, and spiritual activities. Currently, The Gate is open 5 days a week and serves 400 teens each week through various programs.
Their vision is a community where future generations experience, follow, and serve Christ. Considering that Tuesday Church Lunch has been in existence for 30 years and our afterschool programming has been in place for 19 years, The Gate is currently seeing their vision come alive. They see past Gate students already reaching various stages of adulthood from high school graduate to midlife and many are living proof of our mission statement. The Gate sees our past students serving as influential men and women of faith and goodwill in our community, our nation and our world. They are now helping others around them be known, encouraged and encounter Christ’s unconditional love.
Learn more at https://www.thegateyouth.org/ or @thegateyouthassoc
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You Can Mentor. We help Christian Mentoring Leaders thrive.
• Come to our National Christian Mentoring Gathering.
• Join our monthly Learning Lab Leadership Cohorts
• Check out our books and shareable resources.
• Be a part of our Christian mentoring network.
• Find ways to get better through our coaching and consulting.
Find all at youcanmentor.com or follow us @youcanmentor on Instagram.
If you'd like to help, please give us a 5 star rating wherever you listen to our podcast.
Learn more at https://www.thegateyouth.org/ or @thegateyouthassoc
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You Can Mentor. We help Christian Mentoring Leaders thrive.
• Come to our National Christian Mentoring Gathering.
• Join our monthly Learning Lab Leadership Cohorts
• Check out our books and shareable resources.
• Be a part of our Christian mentoring network.
• Find ways to get better through our coaching and consulting.
Find all at youcanmentor.com or follow us @youcanmentor on Instagram.
If you'd like to help, please give us a 5 star rating wherever you listen to our podcast.
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
Welcome to the you can mentor podcast. We help Christian mentoring leaders thrive. Share our podcast with your team. Sign up for our monthly learning lab cohorts for mentoring leaders and come to the National Christian Mentoring Gathering. Help us serve more mentors by giving us a 5 star rating where you listen to your podcasts.
Speaker 1:Find out more by following us on social media or going to our website at youcanmentor.com. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the You Can Mentor podcast. I am Zach, and I am here with my friend, Dale. Dale, how's it going today? Doing awesome, Zach. Thanks for having me on.
Speaker 2:Of course. Dale, you just look like a podcast expert. You've got the headphones on. You've got the polo. You've got the coffee mug.
Speaker 2:We were talking about it earlier. This is not your first rodeo, is it, my friend?
Speaker 3:I've done this a couple times.
Speaker 2:I would say so. Okay. So Dale is, in Oregon and up near Portland in a city called Independence. You've been married for 26 years. You have 3 adult daughters and one son.
Speaker 2:Is that correct? That's correct. What a stud. You are a youth pastor for, over a decade, and you've got some podcasting experience. And now you are the, discipleship director at the GATE Youth, in Oregon.
Speaker 2:So, Dale, it is awesome to have you here, man. I'm so excited to learn more about the gate, learn more about you, and, pick up a couple tips from your experience.
Speaker 3:So Yeah. Well, thank you. Yeah. So,
Speaker 2:so, Dale, why don't you just start out and just kinda tell us a tad bit about yourself and how you found our podcast and all of that good stuff?
Speaker 3:Yeah. So, like you said, I've been doing youth ministry for quite some time, and I've always done some leadership stuff, lot of Willow Creek Association, Leadership Summit seminars and and all those things, and just trying to get better at what we're doing in life. And spent a lot of time under Jim Ramos with the Men in the Arena, I'd run-in the podcast for him and, did about 7 years, there, and then came across, this opportunity with the gate, when they needed a youth pastor. And so I checked it out and there was absolute chaos when I went in there. Kids everywhere, this amazing facility, and I was like, oh, man.
Speaker 3:Sign me up for this. Grabbed my resume. Took it in there and, I got hired about a week later. And, so it's been a year and a half now, I've been with them, and we got a grant, from the federal government to do, a mentor program. And so we handpicked some of our staff, identified them as potential mentors, and they had natural relationships with students already, and so we sent them on their way and, my boss, Ben Bobita, said, hey.
Speaker 3:I've listened to this podcast called You Can Mentor podcast. You should check it out. So I did. I started back to episode 1 and, started listening to those and mandating our staff to listen to those 1 a week, and then I'd get them together on Thursdays and debrief what they learned and, listen to their trials and things that they have going on and and then encourage them on their path. And so, we have, quite a few, students that are being mentored an hour a day or an hour a week with, mixed up between about 15 to 18 staff.
Speaker 3:And so some of them have 4, some of them have 1, just all depends, on their time schedules. But I have 4 boys right now that I mentor, and it's been a cool journey.
Speaker 2:That's awesome, Bill. So because so I mean, definitely not trying to try to hay on you, but you are a tad bit older. Yeah. And so, typically, whenever you are going into the youth game, you know, it's there's a bunch of people who are in the twenties. You can find a couple who are in their thirties, a few in their forties, but what made you wanna get back into the mentoring relationship game, which I loved, by the way?
Speaker 3:Yeah. The cool thing is part of my job is I'm also the, well, as dice discipleship director, I am in charge of, making sure our staff are doing well, healthy, spiritually. I'm available to them. And since there's, WOU is the college right next to us, Western Oregon University, we get a lot of, students from there that work for us. And so, like, if you're a Christian parent, you send your kid off to college, what a great thing.
Speaker 3:You've got this guy that's gonna invest in your kids, while they're away from home. So I meet them for lunch and, like, how are you doing? I have them they share their life story with me, and then I know how I can better, you know, journey alongside of them, encourage them, and just challenge them in their life, and all that stuff. And so I think when I left youth ministry, my heart's desire really was to equip the next generation. And so I'm able to do that, with leadership trainings each week, meeting with them 1 on 1.
Speaker 3:When they have stuff going on, they're like, hey. I need to make an appointment with my discipleship director. We meet up for coffee or whatever. Sit down. We'll hear what's going on.
Speaker 3:I pray for them, encourage them, and, it's been really cool just to see the fruit that's come of that.
Speaker 2:So you are a disciple who makes disciples, and your disciples make disciples.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Last night was middle school youth group, and I had one of my youth leaders. She is probably 23, and I had her speak. And, we have some others that are, like, 20, and, like, we got a bible study coming up on Thursdays, where we get about 35 students come over for the high school to have lunch. And we have another young lady that's gonna do that.
Speaker 3:And we have a city planner that comes, and he does helps with the bible study, so we share in that role. But my thing is I wanna get some high schoolers teaching the bible study as we walk through Ephesians, and and when we equip them, it's so cool. Like, these kids graduate up, and then they come back and serve. Man,
Speaker 2:that is my favorite model whenever you've got this multigenerational mentoring discipleship thing, and it it is just so fruitful. Like, I love it. So, kudos to kudos to The Gate for that. So, man, I wanna get into, your organization, The Gate.
Speaker 3:So Yeah.
Speaker 2:The first thing that kinda stuck out to me, Dale, is all of the things that you guys are doing. And you're serving, correct me if
Speaker 3:I'm wrong, but 400 youth per week, more or less? Yeah. There's probably more now. We're averaging about 120 students a day that come over, and so our proximity to the high school is literally across the street. There's a crosswalk from the high school to our facility, and then there's the middle school is right behind the high school.
Speaker 3:So the kids at 3:15 just come flooding through the doors. We check them in. They drop their backpacks. I'm constantly throwing pictures on Instagram of this this mound of backpacks. It's just insane,
Speaker 2:and it's just it's loud and crazy. We feed them. They're playing sports, and, yeah, ton of kids are coming. That's awesome. So what is the typical kid who comes into your
Speaker 3:facility? As far as their background and whatnot? Yeah. Yeah. Sure.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So, you know, the kids that are very busy in sports and academics, we you probably won't see a ton of those, but these kids, a lot of them are, they a lot of them don't want to go home. They walk through the doors, and we greet them with a smile. We love them. The big thing is they're known, and they're heard, and we get in their world, and we sit with them when they grab a tray of food, and they're having they're eating, and we just sit right with them, like, hey, man.
Speaker 3:What's going on? How are you doing? How's life? Tell me about your day. And so, I mean, how many parents really do take the time, to to do that with their kids?
Speaker 3:We just sit with them and talk and they share. If they're struggling with homework, we're like, well, show me what you're you're struggling with, and we help them through it. And, so these kids will some of them are, kids that maybe struggle with their identity, and they they might think they're something they're not, and we just beat them where they're at and love them. And, a lot of them are kids that you would not say are the a crowd kid, and so we just come alongside those kids. I a mom came in yesterday, checked her kids in for the first time, and she goes, both of them are on the spectrum a little bit.
Speaker 3:1 more so than the other, and you could look at them and it was obvious. And, I said, ma'am, every single kid here is on Spectrum. It's like they're not unique, and we just love them where they're at. So that's what we're that's what we do the best is just love kids, and then eventually, they see Jesus.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Like, I'm amazed at how it really doesn't matter what you look like. It doesn't matter your age. It doesn't matter your background. If you're willing to give a kid love, if you're willing to give them attention, affirmation, acceptance, if you're willing to take the time to sit and to listen to them and to make them feel loved, to make them feel known and seen, kinda like what, you were saying, that that can literally transform a kid's life.
Speaker 2:Right. And I think it's so crazy how in today's world, there's so much going on. People are so busy, that there are millions of kids out there who don't have one person who will actually take the time to learn about their life. Mhmm. And so that's an awesome deal for you guys, Dale.
Speaker 3:Yeah. One of the things that I we're reminded of, and we we say this all the time, and it's something we've learned from the podcast is there's no such thing as a bad kid. There's hurting kids. And so they come and they act out, and we just we get it. They're acting out because they're hurting.
Speaker 3:And so we just gotta love them and and figure out, you know, why is it that you're doing that. So, you know, last night at middle school youth group, we had a kid that just won't sit still. He's just just crazy. He's all over the place. And so afterwards, we talked about it, like, well, we have some fidgets.
Speaker 3:Why don't we give him a fidget during youth group? Let's figure out a way to get him to not distract others because we want him here. And so let's figure out what it's gonna take to make that happen instead of, like, putting the kid in the corner or saying you can't be here. Well and, like,
Speaker 2:I feel like it's those kids who almost everywhere they go, whether it's school or whether it's church or whether it's at the school programs, they are used to getting kicked out. They are used to older people saying, hey. Stop doing that. Don't do that. There's something wrong with you.
Speaker 2:And so if you can say the opposite and it, obviously, it might take some time, but, eventually, that kid's gonna be like, wait a minute. There's there's something different here. Mhmm. This guy's patient with me. This is a space where I can actually be myself and receive the acceptance that I'm looking for.
Speaker 2:And so that's a I mean, I I was, you know, there isn't such thing as a bad kid, but whenever I was in 8th grade, I would sound a bad kid. Okay. But, I had a youth youth intern. This he, was at a college, this guy named Jason. And people at my church didn't much care for Zach Garza.
Speaker 2:You know, I I would get I would do the talking to by all of my all of my, pastors and all my elders often because I just couldn't sit still because I would talk a lot. But this guy, Jason, came alongside me, and he entered into my world. And I like basketball, and I like I like this, and I like that. And he, connected with me on those things. And there's a reason why I remember his name, you know, 25 years later, and I don't remember the names of those elders Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Because he made time for me. So That's right. Exactly right. Super cool. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, Dale. So you've got we probably don't have time to go through all of these, but pick out a couple of your favorites. And what what are some of the unique things that that that you guys do to connect with kids in the following kinds of programs? So the gate has the after school program, which, you've talked about. You have the laid back program.
Speaker 2:You have the quiet space program. Mhmm. You have school year clubs, lunch bible studies, mentor groups, youth groups, summer activities, and the youth forum. Tell me just some of those that might be unique or might be some of your favorites.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So in the the the main facility, there's, just a lot of kids and a lot of noise, and so we we got another grant this last year that allowed us to open up a quiet space. So we are in a parking lot with a church. The church has, let us use that land. The church doesn't own the gate or run the gate, but the pastor and a couple of the people at the church are on our board.
Speaker 3:But they allowed us to have a space in their church that we call the quiet space. And so students who need help with homework, we have laptops and and stuff, and we'll take them over there. They can sit with there's always 2 adults in there, and they will help them in a quieter, more controlled environment so they can get work done and get help and all that. And so those are those, WU students that are in there that are smarter than 51 year olds, and, they can help them with, all their work and and all that good stuff. So that is a really cool place.
Speaker 3:Or if a kid just, like, I want a quiet place to hang out and just play cards, they can do that as well. So that's one of the great things. We do have a partnership with a, a horse place that's a ranch that's called Acres of Hope, and so we do take students there, and they get to learn about horses and ride horses and groom the horses and that sort of thing. And so that's kind of therapeutic for some of the kids. We just got through building a huge shop behind the, back of the property, and, but during the summer for one of the clubs, the kids built it.
Speaker 3:They helped they literally helped pour the concrete, built forms, build the walls, everything, and we just finished painting it, and electricians are gonna come in and, finish that part. But there's a giant lift in there, and we have a mechanic's club. And we have a local mechanic that comes in and teaches kids how to work on cars. And so we do get a lot of donations to cars, and then we flip them. And the kids work on them.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, they learn a trade. So there those are a few of the things. We constantly every day, though, there are, like we feed, you know, a 100 kids a day at least, and so we just got our own food program. And so we are feeding the kids every single day and then, Monday through Friday, and then there's volleyball going on and dodgeball, laser tag, all that good stuff at
Speaker 2:the same time too. Yeah. So tell me how you guys, how are y'all able to feed all of those kiddos? Do you guys have a partnership? Do you guys have
Speaker 3:a kitchen?
Speaker 2:What's up?
Speaker 3:In the so we have we do have a massive kitchen. So as a youth pastor, when I went in there to check the place out, I'm like, oh my goodness. Look at this kitchen. This is insane. This is, like, better than any church I've ever been into.
Speaker 3:Right? And, and then I went into the storage area, and that place was huge with all the stuff for kids. I'm like, yeah. So but, anyways, we we had a partnership with the local high school, with their food program. We were on their grant that they had.
Speaker 3:And, so we just recently got our own grant. But we would go across the street every day and they would give us certain foods and we had to serve, you know, we have to serve everything that is on that. And then if they wanna throw it away, you know, we try to get some of it back and try to put it back into circulation, that sort of thing. So, but now we have our own thing going on with that so that we can feed the kids through that
Speaker 2:grant. I mean, I, I've gotten to know a couple of different not for profits, a couple of different people who are doing some things up in the northwest. And I feel like you guys do a really good job of combining forces, whether it's through a nonprofit in a church or through a couple different not for profits. Can you just kinda tell me, like, what's it like to serve up in the northwest, and, how essential are those partnerships within you guys?
Speaker 3:Yeah. They're very essential as you you might know that Oregon is one of the most unchurched states in the United States. So there is some opposition. Occasionally, you'll see stuff on social media about separation of church and state and and, our role. Most people in that community, whether Christians or not, they love that we're there and we what we provide.
Speaker 3:We're not preaching at the kids. If they wanna stay for extra stuff, they can, and then we'll can share Jesus. But if a kid ever asks where our hope lies, we can share that, and we won't shy away from that. But the partnerships, I think, with the high the schools are just amazing. They love us on their campus.
Speaker 3:This year, we have 2 to 3, staff that are actually at the middle school every day and same with the high school. So during lunch, they're they're there hanging out with them, and the principals are like, thank you for being here. And they're also like, hey. How can we figure out a way to combine efforts a little bit more so with the mentoring program? There's a college just doing a mentoring program as well, and they're trying to find space to do it and all that.
Speaker 3:So we're trying to figure out a way that we can work as a team to mentor these kids. Yeah. What
Speaker 2:are some good ways for, like, if you're a nonprofit or if you're a mentoring organization and you wanna partner with the school, what are some good ways to kinda get get in good with them to try to try to, I guess, not just take from them, but also try to give something and return to them.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I mean, I I was listening to one of your podcasts from back way back where you had a gentleman that actually just started volunteering in the school, and then it turned into something much more, just by showing up and, like, how can I help? Right? And and using his strengths to to volunteer in that aspect. Now most youth pastors, if they're doing what they're supposed to be doing, they would be on campus during lunch.
Speaker 3:And they're they're there to hang out kids, bring a pizza, throw it down on a table, and you got, 10 new best friends. And so going in there to, like I guess if you're doing ministry of any sort, your motivation should be, how can I serve and and not what I get in return? We're not trying to grow our numbers at the gate. We're trying to change lives. So if a kid never comes to the gate, but we can go on the school campus and, connect with a kid, that's what it's all about.
Speaker 3:And I like, if I as a youth pastor, I don't care what church they go to. I just want them to know Jesus. I wanna know them to know they matter. So you just you gotta get rid of yourself and not worry about your numbers and worry about his numbers.
Speaker 2:That's awesome, Dale. Man, that is and that's such a good reminder. I know for me so often whenever I'm running the adopt for profit, I can go get so fixated on the numbers and on, oh my gosh. Am I making an impact? Am I showing all of my donors that I'm and at the end of the day, it's just about loving kids.
Speaker 2:It's Mhmm. Just about telling them about Jesus Christ. Yeah. And really because you don't ever know what's gonna happen from that. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:And so what's so important? 500 kids coming to your after school or 10 kids who are falling passionately head over heels in love with Jesus Christ, and they get radically transformed and their families do generations and then their kids and their kids' kids. So you would just never know what
Speaker 3:the Lord's up to. Right. And he's the one providing for you anyway. So I think we get we get worried about the money and the numbers and how am I gonna look and success and all that stuff when you're looking at the wrong thing for success. And and god knows our heart, and he'll take care of us.
Speaker 2:So, Dale, so you have been doing this almost as long as I've been alive. And so, man, just like what is mentoring to you? What is discipleship? What are some of your some of your,
Speaker 3:you know? Yeah. It's getting harder and harder as the years have gone by because of the fact that, like, I remember when I started in youth ministry, there was a kid that was a little rough around the edges. And I also own a photography business, and I got hired to, do this big project. And I had to go to the coast and take pictures there, hot air balloons taken off from another part of town.
Speaker 3:And and there I had this big list of things I need to take pictures of for this client, and I just grabbed this kid. There was a youth group that was really rough around the edges, and I said, hey, man. Go with me. And so we spent the day together cruising, you know, an hour and a half to the beach, taking pictures, an hour and a half back, and just windshield time. That kid is he had a rough go.
Speaker 3:He became a pastor at one point after he completely, like, blew out, like, when he was younger and then became a pastor, and I just ran into him recently, and it was just like, oh my gosh. There's this guy with his family, and it's just so cool to reconnect. But nowadays, I can't just grab a kid and hop in the car and go cruise around and do life with them. I gotta, like, think about, okay, I'd have to have other staff, other people with me, and have things signed off and all that. You gotta worry about accusations and and all that stuff.
Speaker 3:And so, right now, like, the way it works is we will walk a kid over to McDonald's, which is, right next to us, and we'll sit down and we'll have meetings there or the Froyo place or Subway, and we'll have meetings there. Or if we there's a room across from the quiet room that we can leave the doors open, and we can hang out in there and have a meeting. So we gotta make sure that, like, it's in an open public place to meet with them, but I have done where, like, hey, I just need to go, and I heard this in one of the podcasts where go grocery shopping. Right? And so, like, I took a kid to the grocery store.
Speaker 3:I'm like, hey, we're going camping this weekend. Come with me. And we walked over there, we got groceries, and and we got to talk and have our our our meeting then. And so that was very productive, and, so it's it looks like a lot of different things sometimes, like, I think once we got a new Xbox or something like that, and we just played Call of Duty together. And so but we meet every single week for an hour.
Speaker 3:I know what's going on in these kids' lives. So if if 1 week we just wanna screw around and play video games, we could do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I think I think that that's a good word. Like, I so often I feel this, like, stress and this kind of pressure of like, oh my gosh. I've only got an hour with them. We have to talk about Jesus.
Speaker 2:We gotta talk about school. We gotta talk about their and I think from time to time, it's really good just to have fun. Yeah. And just to relax and hey. Look.
Speaker 2:We don't have to talk about your faith this week. I mean, obviously, if a kid wants to talk about it, yes. That's awesome. But, like, I don't have to talk about schoolwork. I'm not gonna try to teach you anything.
Speaker 2:Let's just play Xbox. Let's just shoot hoops. Let's let's just get a smile on that space. And I have found that sometimes whenever I feel like I'm the least productive is those are the times that they open up the most. Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And so
Speaker 3:It's just the life with them. We used to have a thing called d squared. It was dinner with Dale on Sundays at my house, and those were the kids that really wanted to go a little bit further in their their walk. And, so we had about 30 middle schoolers that would come to my house. We'd do dinner, and, we would do some sort of teaching or a game or something like that.
Speaker 3:But I'd take the boys out in the garage, girls would stay inside, and my wife would take the girls, I'd take the boys. And but in doing that, they got to see me do life with my family. My daughters were there. They were younger. And we interact with my wife and and, like, yeah, they caught a lot.
Speaker 3:Just thinking of the 2 podcasts ago, I think, maybe, where you guys had it wasn't a Seder dinner, it was, the other Jewish holiday dinner. And and Yeah. We've been silent. Yeah. And you were, like, yeah.
Speaker 3:It was pretty lame for you, And he's, like, yeah. It was awesome. So I would just do a life with you. They pick up so much. And then they tell you later on.
Speaker 3:It's like, I've had kids, like, 15 years later. You remember when you said this? I'm like, I really don't. And they're like, really impacted me. And I'm like, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:Oh, man. It is so nuts how, like, all the things that I think the kids are like, oh, man. This kid's gonna this is gonna rock his world. It's like, and then I'll make some, like, side comment. They're like, woah.
Speaker 2:That's the coolest thing I've ever heard. I'm like, that. Alright. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I I put some stuff together for certain kids. Sometimes when I'm doing the message or whatever or whatever, and I'm like, oh, this could be so deep in there. You know? Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. Well, so I, we were talking earlier about or maybe it was in your bio that you sent me earlier, but you mentioned how the, the Lord has really stirred up your heart for the fatherless. Yeah. Do you mind kinda Yeah.
Speaker 3:So I have
Speaker 2:to learn more more about that?
Speaker 3:Yeah. I have 3 daughters, and they've always you know, they bring their friends over. And one of them, we've pretty much adopted, one of their best friends. And so holidays and everything, we've done together. She's since moved to Tennessee and got married.
Speaker 3:But before that I mean, every holiday, we were together. Family photos, she's in them, and, you know, she didn't have a dad in her life, and then her grandpa passed away who was like a dad to her. And I and when he passed away, we actually moved out of town. We ended up coming back, but when we left, I just felt so guilty that we were leaving her, because she did not have that father figure. I had a dad growing up.
Speaker 3:I had the dad that whooped my butt when I needed it. He gave me hugs and kisses good night too. Rub his beard on me, did all that weird stuff, and embarrassed us when we were, you know, driving the car at restaurants. But, you know, we're at church. He'd reach over and grab my knee and squeeze the crap out of it if I was messing around.
Speaker 3:You knew you're gonna get your butt whooped when you got home, but, he loved us as well. And so and my my wife, that wasn't the thing. Same for hers. She her biological dad, went to jail when she was very, very young for horrendous things he did to his, children from a previous marriage and and the kids. So, that has always stuck with me because I've had a dad that I know what it's like to be loved and seeing those who do not have that, that wrecks me.
Speaker 3:And so I did do, I worked 7 years with men in the arena, and I man, I loved going to those conferences, iron sharpens iron around the United States, and and Jim Ramos would speak to the men and men would get just messed up, and it's like, okay, time to step up and lead my family. And, I I get frustrated when fathers are not leading their families and fathers who don't put guardrails in their life so that they don't spin out, so they don't have affairs, and and they don't leave their families. And then when they leave, they they desecrate the family. And, and too many times too, they're like, they're, oh, the devil got me. This and that.
Speaker 3:Well, no. You did. Stop giving the devil so much credit. It's because you kept living your life unchecked. And, so it's it breaks my heart to see kids who don't have dads, and most of the kids that we see at the gate do not have fathers that are engaged in their lives.
Speaker 3:They're not pointing to Jesus or their dads are completely gone. Kids who have been in abusive relationships or have had abusive fathers, there a lot of them are questioning their sexuality, their gender, and and all that stuff. And so, you know, if dad step up and start doing what they're called to do by the lord and lead their families and lead it right, then these kids would be fine. And a lot of those kids that have that healthy father in their home, we don't necessarily see at the gate that much. They come to Tuesday lunch where they walk across the street just for lunch, and but then they're gone.
Speaker 3:But they don't come after school because they have healthy things they're doing.
Speaker 2:Yep. And I was at, getting some food the other day at good old Chipotle, and I was standing in line next to this kid, and he was a cool looking kid. He had, like, long hair. He had on, like, his hat backwards. And so I'm just sitting there in line, and I was like, man, this kid has has to go to Baylor.
Speaker 2:Like he is just, so I started talking to him and he's a baseball player and we talk for, you know, 5 or 7 minutes. And he's asking me a bunch of questions and this kid is so articulate. Like, he's asking me a bunch of questions and he's engaged and he's making eye contact. And I am just like, this kid is a stud. Like, he is so much more mature than I am.
Speaker 2:And I just asked him. I was like, hey, man. Why don't you tell me about your dad? And this, like, smile came on his face. And he was like, oh, dude.
Speaker 2:My dad's my best friend. And he just went on about how his dad mentored him and discipled him and took him on hunting trips and taught him how to, you know, do all these things. And I was like, dude, it is so obvious. Like, it is so obvious that you're 21 years old, and you are engaged. You're asking good questions.
Speaker 2:You're secure, and that's all because of your debt. And then, like, I think about myself and how much I feel like I've, you know, put in some work, but growing up without a dad, even though I've done the work, even though I have the books and I try to follow Jesus to the best of my ability, it still comes up. And I'm like, man, it is such a big deal. Hey. So for people who are mentors, how how important is it for them to surround themselves with other people who can encourage them?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Again, I I I I listen to the podcast where your mentor, you interviewed your mentor or you didn't interview your mentor, but, yeah. He was he was mentored, and he has l he had ALS. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:He has it.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. So, and after that podcast, I was like and I started thinking about my staff, and I started thinking about myself, and I'm like, I have a lot of men in my life that speak into my life that will, that I can go to for stuff and this and that. But then I started thinking about it, like, I don't have, like, a mentor who I would say this is my mentor. So I had lunch yesterday with a man that I respect, and I see how one of his kids works for us.
Speaker 3:And I see how he carries himself. He's a a chaplain, and I see how his kids are, his wife is, and knowing about his time with the Lord and in in prayer and in the bible and all that stuff. And I said, I just wanna throw this out here. Will you be a mentor for me? We could we meet once a week, once a month, twice a week, twice a month, whatever, you know, whatever you're willing to do.
Speaker 3:I want you to ask me hard questions. And a lot of times I have friends that I could tell that I'm thinking about doing something or whatever, and they will just go along with it, and then later on, like, if it didn't work out, like, yeah, I didn't think that was a good idea. I'm like, bro, why didn't you tell me that? So I want that person in my life that's gonna, like, that I meet with is, like, I don't think that's a good idea. Right?
Speaker 3:And so, so I'm I'm working on entering into that relationship, and I told my staff after listening to that podcast, I'm, like, I want you guys to all find a mentor. You're mentoring multiple children. Who's mentoring you? And that's so important that you find somebody to mentor you. And so they're all they're all on the search now to try to figure out who that is.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. You have to be have to be filled up before out there, man. You do. You do. Super cool.
Speaker 2:Well, Dale, do do you think you could finish up our time with just give me your favorite story of a kid, of life transformation, of how you've seen the Lord work at the gate? Yeah. This is where, my boss is like, you get
Speaker 3:a cry on the podcast? I'm like, maybe. But, we had a a volunteer appreciation dinner and staff appreciation dinner on Sunday, and I kinda lost it when I was sharing with them, some stories about what's happened this last year, because god is just so good at doing such good stuff. But, we had a a one night, there was a kid that called up, the gate, and it was after a youth group, and he's being mentored by, one of our staff, Casey. And he called up to say his brother is in the hospital, and he needs a transplant.
Speaker 3:And, it doesn't look good, and, so we were like, oh, man. Like, this kid could die. And he's like, so can you pray for my brother? And so the kid that called is, one of our mentees, and he is a male, and he refers to himself as a female and has changed his name to a girl's name. And, you know, he called up and asked for prayer.
Speaker 3:We're like, yeah. We'll pray. And so Casey said, alright. This is how it's gonna work. I'm gonna start.
Speaker 3:You're gonna pray, and then Dale's gonna close us out. And he was like, what do I say? And he's going, well, just talk to god like he's a friend. And he and so Casey prayed, and then it was like a little little gap in time. And he's like, hey, god.
Speaker 3:And so he prayed, and then I closed it out. And I looked at Casey, and I just high fived him. I'm like, dude, that was awesome. He knew where to go because he knows where our hope lies. And his brother came home, and he had the transplant, and he's at school now.
Speaker 3:And so I'm like, what a testimony that God allowed us to be a part of. It's pretty cool. Another one is, it was shortly after I started working at the gate. This girl, we'll just call her Brenda because that's her name. She, she I was sitting at the front desk, and we we rotate through jobs that we do.
Speaker 3:And Brenda sat down next to me, and, she knew that I'd lost my mom, and she had recently lost her dad. And so we talked about that a little bit. And she stayed a little sore with God about taking her dad, and she looked at me and she goes, Dale, I don't believe in god, and I was like, okay. Well, he can handle that, but that doesn't change how much he loves you, how crazy he is about you, and the plan that he's got for your life. So you just hang in there, and you'll see that he's good.
Speaker 3:And she just looked at me like I was weird, and so we discontinued this relationship, hanging out with Brenda whenever she's there, and then she started just giving me hugs when she'd come in and she'd go, Dale, you're my white dad at the gate. She's Hispanic. And so under a white dad at the gate, and then, we we had, spring break camps. Like, no. I'm not going to no spring break camp.
Speaker 3:And and, so we just kept loving her and loving her, and and it sure she brought her friend, a friend of hers that was coming and hanging out. They ended up breaking up, and they were, like, not friends anymore. And then we were able to facilitate a reunification, making things better. Well, her and Fred are hanging out. We're loving both of them, and they ended up both their leader said, hey.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna go to camp, summer camp. Will you go? And they were gone. Alright. We'll we'll go.
Speaker 3:So we end up scholarship. We took him to camp. While we were at camp, Brenda's friend, one night, she was like, hey. I'd I think I wanna sing. And she was she was singing during the worship songs, and my boss, Ben, was like, hey.
Speaker 3:I saw your lips moving. What's going on there? She goes, I saw your lips moving too. While they're at camp, they both basically surrender their life to Jesus. And, Brenda's friends started singing with the worship team there, and I'm like I took a picture of it.
Speaker 3:I sent it to our program director. I'm like, I'm not crying. I am not crying right now, but this is cool as I'm crying. And, so we get home, and, we're just like, we're gonna do baptisms. And so at this after school program that we have, we end up doing youth group on a Thursday night, and we baptized, 5 kids.
Speaker 3:And they were both of those girls were part of it, and, we ended up giving them bibles. They were so excited. They're serving now with the middle schoolers for me and, on the worship team. And, they do so much, and they're just they're while we are at camp when Brenda's friend, Fabiola, fell in love with Jesus, her whole countenance changed. She was smiling like insane amounts, and we were all going, what is going on with her?
Speaker 3:She does not smile. You know? And so her life just changed, and and then it was a couple weeks later, we got to baptize 2 other kids that one was his mom was praying for him like crazy, and, he was in trouble with the law. And we read his testimony, and there wasn't a dry eye in the crowd because he was just apologizing to everybody he's ever hurt. And he got baptized.
Speaker 3:And when he came out of the water, he just hugged me real tight and just hugged everybody. And it was just, I think we're gonna we're we just offered him a job. So, so God's doing some great stuff, and also it is is us loving one kid at a time as they walk through the doors, looking them in the eyes, saying their name, and just caring about them.
Speaker 2:Well, there's some testimonies, Dale, man. Yeah. You guys keep out the good work over there over there at the gate. If people wanna get ahold of you, tell them how to do that.
Speaker 3:Yeah. My email is really easy. It's discipleship director at the gate youth dot org, and, the gate is just the gate youth dot org, www.thegate youth dot org, and that's you'll find us and be able to see it, some things we're doing. And, we just we're constantly wanting to learn. So, you know, if you're a mentor, just press in to being able to learn as much as you can.
Speaker 3:That's awesome, Dale, man.
Speaker 2:Don't y'all grow weary of doing good? You guys are doing good work, man. Yep. Well, Dale, it has been a pleasure, my friend. Thank you so much for your time and for your wisdom and for your stories.
Speaker 2:Just just got me good, Dale. Got me good. So
Speaker 3:That's awesome. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Alright. Well, if thank you so much for tuning in. If you guys wanna share this with some of your mentoring friends, we'd appreciate it. Also on social media, rate the podcast. And if you forgot everything that you just heard, well, that's a shame.
Speaker 2:But re remember this, you can mentor. Thanks for tuning in
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