Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
"Guiding Generations" with Rabbi Mordechai Shifman merges timeless Torah wisdom with contemporary parenting insights. Each episode draws from the weekly Torah portion, offering practical advice and spiritual guidance to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children with integrity, respect, and compassion. Join Rabbi Shifman as he connects ancient teachings to the realities of modern family life, empowering parents to cultivate a nurturing and value-driven home environment.
Hey. Welcome back to a new year. We actually are able to touch on partials that, in the past, we have not been able to do because of the way it breaks down. So it gives an opportunity to, focus on some new material. This week's Parsha is Parsha Shoftim, and, there is a very unique set of laws that are recorded towards the end of the Parsha.
Speaker 1:In the Maseca Sota, Tracte Sota, it deals extensively with this particular chapter. But it's known as the Parsha of Eglarufo. Eglarufo literally means the, decapitated cast. And, I'm gonna go through the verses with you. And I think just on the beautiful insight into relationships in general, how to deal with children.
Speaker 1:Let's take a look. Pazik says like this. This is Per Chafalef. Per Chafalef Fazikalef. When you find a corpse, a dead body on the ground, in the land that Hashem has given you, so it's in the land of Israel, you find a dead body, a corpse.
Speaker 1:There's been a murdered body there. Okay. So God has given it to you to inherit. It's strewn on the field, fallen on the field. It is unknown as to who the murderer was.
Speaker 1:We cannot tell who killed him. So what do you do? And your elders and judges should go out. And they will measure towards the closest city. They'll try and determine what is the closest city for to this body.
Speaker 1:That surround the corpse. And when it will be determined, what is the city that is closest to the body? Then the elders of that city will take. They have to take a, a young calf. That had never been worked with.
Speaker 1:That had never pulled on a yoke. And the elders of that city will then bring down this calf, El Nahal Eisun, to a valley that, is literally it's harsh, meaning that that's, which has never been cultivated. So the the earth is such that it's, never been worked hard. The ground is hard. Never been worked.
Speaker 1:And it cannot be stolen. It had never been planted. And they will decapitate, chop it from the back of the neck. It's not even edible. Cautious wise, you in this valley, that's where you will, decapitate this calf.
Speaker 1:Then the Kohanim who are from the tribe children of the tribe of Levi, they will step forward. They were the ones that Hashem has chosen to, serve Him. And to bless with the name of God. And according to their word, all, disputes and, will be determined and all plays like Saraz will be turned through the Korhanim. K?
Speaker 1:So they need to be there for this. Then all the elders that are closest to the the city that are closest to Korbes, they will wash their hands. Over this decapitated camp that was in the in the valley. And they will speak up and they will stay. That it was our hands when was were not the one that filled.
Speaker 1:Our hands are clean. We do not spill this blood. And our eyes did not see his death. Hashem, you show, your your your, you should, give atonement for this nation that you have redeemed, taken up in the shrine. And do not place innocent blood in the midst of the Jewish people.
Speaker 1:Then the blood shall be atoned for them. You shall remove the innocent blood from your midst. When you do what is upright in the eyes of Hashem. Very interesting, set of silksims. So basically, what we have over here is that you find a body that's murdered closest to a city.
Speaker 1:We assume that that was the city that's closest to it, the person was coming from that city. And there needs to be a seems to be an atonement process, or at least something that allows the people, the elders of that city, to express that they are not responsible for the death of this individual. So, let's focus on one part over here. I mean, there's the symbolism here is incredible. I mean, it's why a calf?
Speaker 1:Why is it decapitated? Why does it have to be in a place that is not being cultivated? Why does there be a calf that never pulled a these are all questions that can be dealt with, and we can think about this from the Shabbos table. But let's deal with one piece over here. Rashi brings down Rashi follows sha.
Speaker 1:Means, Rashi is when you read the sukim, if you have difficulties in certain points and you see that Rashi had the same difficulty, you're reading them right. There's basically Rashi here to allow us to read the Sukhim that the difficulties that we might have, he's trying to make it that it reads without those difficulties. So what bothers Rashi over here, he says, who are we taking? We're taking the elders. We're taking the the greatest Talmide HaCham and the scholars, the most righteous people of the city.
Speaker 1:And we're making them take a statement that says what? It wasn't our hands that spilled this blood. So what bothers Rashi? It's actually the Gomorrah's question. It says, would have entered our hearts.
Speaker 1:That is the elders of the Basting are the ones that were the ones that spilled this blood. Why would we have thought the further up? They're the ones that need to say, you know? Go to the jails. Go to look look up the rapskis.
Speaker 1:Those are the ones who come in to be the ones who, you know, you know, the first ones we look at, shouldn't be the the elders, the people sitting in base, you know, of that city. They're the ones that have to say, well, in our hand, that stilt is blood. So what is the Gamora? Rashi brings down the Gamora very interesting. Rashi says, he's that He said that this fellow would not have entered our city without having a lip, without being fed.
Speaker 1:He would've we would've brought if this guy was coming passing through, we would've fed him, and we would've done. What is? What's that? No. No.
Speaker 1:What the person over there with the Mhmm. We don't we don't bury a live person. The person comes to visit you, there's a mitzvah of Levaya. You're right. The word Hebrew, Levaya, is also means a funeral.
Speaker 1:The reason why it's called a funeral is because of the mitzvah to accompany the dead body. You have to walk with it. But in mitzvah of machmasat arachim, when you have that person that's visiting you, there's actually there's a mitzvah of the as well. You're supposed to accompany the person after he leaves. The mitzvah is at least 8 feet.
Speaker 1:Out of your house, you're supposed to walk with him at least 8 feet. The it's the mitzvah of levaiah. So it's interesting. So Rashi what's that? It's 4 4 almost 4 almost is in each armor is about 2 feet.
Speaker 1:So it's about 8 feet. 1 and a half to 2 feet is an armor. So Rashi brings out focuses on that we would have fed him, we would have given him food, right, and we would have given him a company. Now it's interesting that Rashi takes on that that's what we would have done. So if this guy would have left our city, we for sure would have done that.
Speaker 1:So therefore, we're not responsible for his death. What does one have to do with the other? What does the fact that we would have fed him and accompanied him have to do with, therefore, we cannot be held responsible to his death. I guess to say it even clearer, this this the moral asked the question. He says that the mitzvah of Levaya is you only have to walk the guy down almost 8 feet.
Speaker 1:We did the mitzvah would be that you have to accompany the person to the next city. You have to get an armed guard and you have to go take the guy then then I can understand, you know, that it makes sense that it can't be that he can't we we do the mitzvah of Akhmasad Orchim correctly. If he would have come to our house, then we would have accompanied him. He wouldn't have been left, unarmed and then subject to being mugged and killed. We would have accompanied him.
Speaker 1:So therefore, we cannot be we teach those in our city. So that cannot be what happened because otherwise it would have been done. There's a but that's not the mitzvah. The mitzvah is that you only have to walk the fellow to the so therefore, even if we would have done it, why is it having to do with that? Therefore, it's not our fault that the guy can't be that we're responsible for his death.
Speaker 1:Even if we would have done the mitzvah of Levi. So what if the mitzvah of Levi, the fact that we fed him and and and and walked him the 4 animals, have anything to do with no. And if he would have come to our city and then we have water with dogs, then we can't be responsible. What does one have to do with the other? Right?
Speaker 1:Everyone understand the questioning. You're asking the Skeina to say that you're not you have to express that you're not culpable. Why? Because you would have made sure that he wouldn't have been killed. How?
Speaker 1:We would have fed him and we would have done the fire. How would that stop him from being killed? What what does one have to do with the other? Okay. That's problem number 1.
Speaker 1:What's interesting to to note is, you know, it says that Avraham planted when he when he, in the pasuk says he planted an eshel. An eshel is a tree. So chazal understands that this was a symbol of the that he did. So it's Akhila, he fed the people. He gave them or some say, Sheena, either a or Sheena to eat or to drink, and is either to stay overnight or to he did this mitzvah of accompanying them.
Speaker 1:So there are many aspects in terms of Akhmas' arachim, the mitzvah of bringing in guests. Planted planted. Sheptal. He planted. He planted an eshel.
Speaker 1:The says, I think in modern Hebrew also, what I in in in Israel, when you say Eshal, what does Eshal stand for there? Oh, it's a name of the it's a name of a company. What what is it? Account a name of a company? It's no but Eshal stands for it's like a type of, a way of of showing hospitality.
Speaker 1:So hospitality anywhere. Right. So anyway, the point is, Maimonides, when he brings down this mitzvah of Achmas Hasorafim
Speaker 2:To walk in for I've been in.
Speaker 1:Right. It's it's hospital it's taking care of the hospitality. That's where it comes from. Travel expense. So the Rambam, so brings down and he focuses primarily when he talks about the the the primary mitzvah of Achmatos Orevaim, the most important aspect of entertaining Geth, he brings down his levayom, the 4 armors walking afterwards, which doesn't make you feed a guy, you gave him a stick, and you gave him 18 year old going with it, and you you could get you you you've given him your finery, you open your house to him.
Speaker 1:You you know you know what's important? The Dawid Amr, the 4 Amr that you walk afterwards. What that that would seem to be the least significant of the Mitzvah of Haakonos is Oresum. Why the Rambam seem to make it that that's like he that that the emphasis is on the dialled armors, the full armors that you walk after with. So let's go back and again, let's ask some of the, recap on the questions that we're having.
Speaker 1:Number 1, you find a dead body. Okay? We measure what the closest city is, so therefore, we want that city to take either take responsibility or at least give them the opportunity to say that they're not responsible for his death. You bring who you bring? The elders of the city.
Speaker 1:So I bring the elders. The elders are the least responsible. I would have thought that they they're the people sitting based in the most just and righteous people. No. They are telling you that in our city, we do the mitzvahachmas' archim.
Speaker 1:He would have been fed and he would have been accompanied if he left our city. So therefore, Yadei l'Shafu, it's not our hand that spilt his blood. Myra's question, what do you mean? Feeding him and accompanying him, how would that have protected him from being if you have to accompany him to the next city, if you have to arm have an armed guard. I understand, but you don't have to do that.
Speaker 1:You have to walk him 4 hours out of the house. How does that protect him from not being killed along the way? What does one have to do with the other? That's the moral question. Okay?
Speaker 1:On the in in when the the Maimonides and and Rashi also bring that. Why are we focusing, I mean, on the accompanying forehandlies? Why is that so important? Why does Rashi bring that down? The other thing that Mara will bring down that that is, that part of the primary mitzvah of the mitzvah of HaChmes' Orasim.
Speaker 1:He doesn't focus on what you feed him. He doesn't focus on on on on on on putting him up for the night. He doesn't focus on what you give him to drink. Oh, dolodamos, you better make sure you do the dolodamos. So we have to understand clearly that dolodamos is the link.
Speaker 1:That's the key in understanding what is this real mitzvah of. That's really the key of understanding what the mitzvah of is, is that thing. So let me tell you
Speaker 2:All these talks do, you wanna make sure your guests are here.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Get them out of the house. Make sure check them for the silverware. So the, the the morale learns this on more of a, metaphysical way. He says that the idea is that when Jews take care of one another, then they're granted a special protection from God.
Speaker 1:That when Jews show care for one another, and, you know, a stranger comes into town, you express how well you feel for him. You care for him. So when you show that we care about one another, then God gives special protection. So, therefore, they have to express that in our city, no stranger would have come in without being taken care of. And therefore, if he would have come to our city and he would have been taken care of, then God would have given him the protection, and this wouldn't end of a happen.
Speaker 1:So it's more of a metaphysical thing. It's not necessarily a logical thing, but it that's how the, that that that's how the, the the the the the moral understands it. The Ibanez also the Ibanez is much more of a practical, much more pragmatic, but he says that, the level of responsibility of the city is determined by how much sin is in the city. Like, they're they're they're responsible for the level of sin in the city. So, therefore, when there's a lot of sin, there's a lot of evil going on the city, this kind of stuff happens.
Speaker 1:So and the leaders are the ones responsible for creating the right environment that you don't have this kind of stuff going on. That's a moral excuse to make it based on I'm not gonna say that the Yevon Ezra seems to learn that's what it's, it's it's tied into. I wanna share with you an idea of HaChav HaChavar HaChaz Waichlita. A beautiful, beautiful idea. And I think it just opens up for us a whole new understanding in relationships.
Speaker 1:I know I've mentioned this a number of times from him. I mean, he was very Machbir, RaChavar is very Machbir in the Yeshiva. When someone new comes into the base Midrish, he would look to see if Bokrim go over to give him Sholem Aleichem. Does anybody get up and go over Sholem Aleichem? During davneh, do you bring the guy and put him down in the steep, open a sitter, bring him a chumash?
Speaker 1:Do you do that for him? One of the most disconcerting feelings for somebody who's new in a place, like you walk into the shul, you walk in, you know, not only that, you don't know where to sit, but then they kick you out of the seat. You can't sit there. You can't sit there. They're very, very uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:And I had I had a situation here. Actually, it's a new parent in our school. Like, a ridiculous story. You know, he is becoming he's on his journey to becoming, Frum, observant. And, it's a, I think it was Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur.
Speaker 1:And he decided to go into one of our local shoals. And he sit down and oh, let me just step back a moment. So I invite him for Shabbos. He comes to me to say the Shabbos by me. And he asked me, what do I do?
Speaker 1:And I say, in this plate, he says, do I need a ticket? I said, why do you think you need a ticket? So he tells me that the last was a shawner or Yom Kippur, when he was, he went to one of the shawls in the community, and he sat somewhere, and they kicked him out of the chair. He said, you need a ticket. You can't sit there if you don't have a ticket.
Speaker 1:So he thinks that all Orthodox shawls, you can only go in if you have a ticket. I mean, it like it hurt me to hear the story. I mean, it's like a terrible story to hear. But the more and more disconcerting feelings you have is when you come into a community and you don't know anybody. So my was very mock when people walked into Basement, they came into Davani.
Speaker 1:If we every Wednesday morning, again, what's called in the classic news, it's called the musesheer. We get more into the psychological aspects of it. Obviously, you see from the way that the things that I say over. But it was most likely, basically, if he thought there were things that we're not doing right or things we need to work on, and if he saw that somebody walked in and right away now somebody jumped up, that's what he spoke about. So about how we need to reach out and make people feel comfortable and let's say, you know, I've told you this story.
Speaker 1:He says it over all the time. You know, he says, unfortunately, that the bigger the Jewish community becomes, the less that contact between one another is. And he said he went to Eretz Yisrael once on a trip. He was there. And the whole time he was there for 3 weeks, he got Sholem Aleichem twice.
Speaker 1:You know, one was Kiddush Levana, and the other one was a Misholem Fitzgerald. You know, those are the two times that, you know, that either supercar opens and says Sholem Aleichem. I grew up. I grew up in Johannesburg. You saw a Jew.
Speaker 1:You ran over. You said, hello. You're just happy to see that there's another Jew there. But that's a feeling you have to feel all the time, not just when there's only, you know, when there's, there's only a few 1,000 of you and amongst 100000 100 of thousands of non Jews. But the point is that the sense of not feeling connected is a feeling that is a very disconcerting feeling.
Speaker 1:It makes a person feel very, empty. People want to feel connected. They want to feel so you go over, you say someone shmelakim, it makes a world of difference the way the person feels. The idea of every community should have a committee of new people coming in and you get a gift basket at that shop as you get, you know, invitations to come eat for shop. It's such a critical part of making people feel comfortable.
Speaker 1:So let me tell you something here, very interesting. When I was, as a as a bugger, I was learning in Miami. It was back in the in the eighties, the the early nineties maybe. They were having a spate of attacks on tourists. Tourists were being carjacked.
Speaker 1:People would kick them out the car and drive off with their luggage. And so they figured out that it must be because it was rental cars, and they could tell at the time from the people could the the the the carjackers could tell from the, the the plate. So they actually passed the rule that the rental car companies had to have regular plates that could still didn't help. It was still able to figure out carjacks were able to figure it out. So the the reason was it's very similar.
Speaker 1:I get up. If you live in New York you you look at New York, people get mugged. 10 of the New Yorkers that get mugged. And it's why why is it a tourist that gets mugged in New York and not and not the, the yeah. Why isn't it the New Yorkers?
Speaker 1:So a New Yorker knows where he's going. He knows the city. He walks, like, around if he owns the place. A person who walks around with that level of confidence, muggers won't start up. What they have is called in in the they they call it a mark.
Speaker 1:A mugger's mark. A mark. A mugger can look and he can tell this is someone that I'm able to mug. What is the sign that he's able to mug? The person is looking at the map.
Speaker 1:He's looking at the signs. He doesn't know where he's going. He you could tell even by the way the person walks by the gate. Like, you can tell someone's unsure about themselves. Someone who lacks confidence.
Speaker 1:Somebody does he he walks in a certain way, that becomes it's like a bull's eye on the person that this is somebody that is susceptible to being mugged. So same thing was when they drive around, you know where you're going. Right? So then you don't slow down, maybe traffic sign. You don't you you drive with confidence.
Speaker 1:But if a person doesn't have confidence, they could tell that this is somebody probably if not from the place, this is a person that becomes then it becomes a mark for the carjacking. That's the idea. The idea of where it has confidence is just the way you carry yourself is different. The whole idea the whole idea of HaFaziz Orafim is that you want to make somebody feel like he's connected. You wanna make someone feel comfortable.
Speaker 1:The whole idea, what we do Afaziz Orafim is like it's socializing. Alright. They'll come to me. One shout, I'll come to you. That's what in its true form is they used to do it.
Speaker 1:Today, you're scared to do it because you don't know which mushroom is gonna roll into your house. But they used to after shul on on Friday night, who doesn't have a place to go to? Who's who's visiting in a city that that doesn't have a place? That was the. We're inviting our friends to come and sew and snooze and eat nicely.
Speaker 1:That was it's a nice thing to do, but that's socializing. That's not. Haakonos' Orukham is you're taking somebody that needs that confidence boost, somebody that needs to be built up, and you're making them feel like they're part of the community. That is what Haakonos' Orukham is really all about. That's what it is.
Speaker 1:That's why, as the Romans points out, the the walking afterwards is so critical. Because what's the message you give a person if you say, I wanna walk with you for a little bit? What are you telling the person? I I I don't I really don't I don't want you to leave. I'm I I want you to stay.
Speaker 1:If you're saying, alright. Fine. You finished eating, out of here. Go. You cannot that's not a that's not the sense you're giving the person.
Speaker 1:But if you're willing to take the time one second. Let me put my shoes on. My dad, I wanna walk with you part of the way. You're letting him feel that you're connected with me. I want you to stay.
Speaker 1:I want I'm relishing every moment with you. I wanna even if I could go with you, I'd go with you. I can't go with you. I'm gonna walk a little bit of the way. I'm gonna walk the Dalai Lama's.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm gonna do. That's the message. Showing your own your own magnet. Never did you're showing necessarily. The Dalit Amis, the walking afterwards with the person, that's showing it's about you.
Speaker 1:I want you. I wanted you to be here. I want come again. I want you to be here. That's the stance you give the person.
Speaker 1:You make him feel like he's connected. So teaching us chazal, an unbelievable thing. Somebody that goes to a city and he's has akhmesos orefim, and they make him feel like that he belongs, and only walk him dalit amnest. He's gonna walk different when he leaves that city. He's gonna feel confident.
Speaker 1:He's gonna feel good about himself. The way he carries himself is gonna be a whole different way that he walks, and therefore, he'll be less susceptible from being mugged along the way. So the Hezbollah is telling us that they have to say, we gave him Achmatos Orchen, the cut that then for it, he would not have been mugged. It's not because of anything that we made him feel disconnected or uncomfortable, whatever it is. Whatever it is.
Speaker 1:Whatever the reason happened, it happened. But it's not that we built him up. We did do the Levallia. We do did feed him. We did make him feel connected.
Speaker 1:So whatever happened, we're our hands were not responsible for doing it. But that's the answer of the moral's question. The moral wanted to know, how could your forearms of walking have anything to do with him being mugged? No. It has a lot to do with it.
Speaker 1:Because if you did what you had to do, he would have been less susceptible to being mugged. You would have carried yourself stiff and you were so confident. Walked differently. He wouldn't have walked like a like a broken person. Person doesn't know where it doesn't feel connected.
Speaker 1:And so, therefore, tremendous, tremendous message. I think that's the message we have to have. I always tell it over this to, you know, to the kids, to the teachers. You have you know, a new kid coming into into school doesn't know where the bathroom is, doesn't know where the lunch room is, doesn't know where the classroom is. The importance of going over to someone and making them feel like you care and connected, that could change the whole the whole experience of what that person has.
Speaker 1:And that works with adults. And more than that, the idea of giving confidence and feeling connected, think about our own kids. What do we do to let our kids feel confident? Unfortunately, and this is what the statistics say, more often than not, we're pointing out their inadequacies and we're pointing out what they're not doing correctly, which has the opposite effect. It makes them feel less confident.
Speaker 1:Instead of trying to find the things that we need to focus on to build up their confidence, because building up their confidence will have an impact in every area of their lives. So it's something to think about in general, in all our relationships with people that we work with, our spouse, figure what we can do to build up their confidence, because building up someone's confident confidence will make them react and behave differently in all areas of their life. So, it's a very, very important thing. It's not a, it's it's it's to the point where, as Allah is telling us, it could be the difference between life and death. The way a person gets mugged and does not get mugged.
Speaker 1:That's the message that of the, of the Iglar Rufa, that by doing the mitzvahachmas' orphan correctly, the person will be feeling connected and feeling connected. He feel confident, until confident, you will then be less, susceptible to being more than