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Diagnosed with Complex Trauma and a Dissociative Disorder, Emma and her system share what they learn along the way about complex trauma, dissociation (CPTSD, OSDD, DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality), etc.), and mental health. Educational, supportive, inclusive, and inspiring, System Speak documents her healing journey through the best and worst of life in recovery through insights, conversations, and collaborations.
Welcome to the System Speak podcast, a podcast about dissociative identity disorder. If you are new to the podcast, we recommend starting at the beginning episodes and listen in order to hear our story and what we have learned through this endeavor. Current episodes may be more applicable to longtime listeners and are likely to contain more advanced topics, emotional or other triggering content, and or reference earlier episodes that provide more context to what we are currently learning and experiencing. As always, please care for yourself during and after listening
Speaker 2:to the podcast. Thank you. Okay. You guys, I don't know how to tell you this. I don't know what you're gonna think about it.
Speaker 2:Hold on, though. First, I need a tablespoon. What is a tablespoon? That looks like a tablespoon, but I already know it's a melon baller. One tablespoon.
Speaker 2:Now we need one cup. One cup. I'm not making this up. You will not believe what happened. K.
Speaker 2:Remove this. You guys, I I'm recording this because number one, it's a snack, and you need to know. And number two, I'm recording this because if I blow up anything, this can be my final farewell. Okay. Open the door.
Speaker 2:Oh, man. Oh, man. Put this down. Trying to get that. Okay.
Speaker 2:Move that away. Open this. Now, we Turn this on. We turned this on. Oh, man.
Speaker 2:Oh, man. I'm so excited. You cannot even believe it. I don't even know what to tell you. Okay.
Speaker 2:Get this. This. Add me one tablespoon of it. Oopsie. Okay.
Speaker 2:Now we gotta do wait. Wait. I need to read the directions. Do not exceed one per batch. We're making a batch.
Speaker 2:A batch means one time. One tablespoon for every half cup. We do not exceed one cup. I need Kate and Cordelia to help me with the math. Okay.
Speaker 2:Let me read it again. One tablespoon for every half cup. Do not exceed one cup. Exceed means more than one. I mean, more than, greater than less than.
Speaker 2:Okay. One tablespoon every half cup. Do not exceed one cup. We have two half cups in one cup. So that means two tablespoons.
Speaker 2:I think, in my star fire. Oh, man. They're smoking. They're smoking. One tablespoon.
Speaker 2:Two tablespoons. And just a little more for good measures. Oh, man. Now that's smoking for sure. So now we get a cock.
Speaker 2:Oopsie. Y'all, I'm in a mess. This is gonna take some practice. Put it in. Turn down the lid.
Speaker 2:Turn on the stirrer, close that oopsie. Close that, close the door, close the door, and wait for the magic. I'm cleaning up my mess before I get thrown out. Where's that lid? This might be the worst day of my life or about to be the best day of my life.
Speaker 2:Come on, buddy. Please. You can do it. You can do it. Oh, man.
Speaker 2:I made a big mess. Nothing is happening yet. I don't know. I better get the broom. I gotta sweep this up.
Speaker 2:It went everywhere. Sweeping. Sweeping. Okay. Sweep that up good.
Speaker 2:Thank you. You're welcome. Can you hear it? Oh, man. Oh, man.
Speaker 2:It's working. It's working. There it is. I see it. It's working.
Speaker 2:Can you hear this? I open the door. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. There's my dream come true.
Speaker 2:It's working. Oh, man. It's the most beautiful creation I ever made. I don't know how to tell when it's done. Oopsie.
Speaker 2:Okay. So lesson one, that's not done. So we got a little bit. Let me take a picture for you, and then I'll show you. Let's try number one.
Speaker 2:We need to do it again because that did not cut it. Home Anne. Okay. Let's do Tailspoon. Okay.
Speaker 2:One, Two. Yep. Yep. Don't give up. Don't give up.
Speaker 2:Okay. Let's we we gotta get this right. Here's a scoop. I don't know if it's a one cup. Maybe that was good.
Speaker 2:Let's do another scoop just in case. K. Close the leg. Uh-oh. K.
Speaker 2:Y'all we are making popcorn in a machine at my house. That's what's up. Buttercup. Listen to the sizzle. Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle, sizzle.
Speaker 2:Okay. Okay. I'll see how it's gonna be. Just try and be patient. Waiting.
Speaker 2:Waiting. Let's get busy now. I think I heard one. This time, we gotta be patient, guys. Don't ask me and pull it out early.
Speaker 2:Don't dump it early. You gotta wait a patient. Oh, man. Here we go. Here we go.
Speaker 2:It's happening. It's happening. Oh, it's gonna cry. It's the most beautiful day I ever saw. The only thing better than this if we also have a snow cone machine that spit out salsa.
Speaker 2:Okay. Didn't I scoop her? Next today. Oh, yeah, buddy. Look.
Speaker 2:I'm a professional. How professional is this? Okay. Okay. I see how it's working.
Speaker 2:I see. I feel like I should dump this out again because I don't wanna burn it, but I'll need somebody here. Dump it. Yeah, buddy. That's beautiful.
Speaker 2:That is beautiful. Okay. We gotta do again. One tablespoon of butter, Two tablespoon of butter. Give that little fella tap, tap, tap.
Speaker 2:They're teasing me because they're excited. Don't be thinking I'm ignoring them children. Okay. Now one scoop. Oops.
Speaker 2:That one scoop I missed. Let's try again. And two scoops. Close enough of it. Close your lid and wait like it's a doggone holiday.
Speaker 2:Oh, man. Oh, man. This is what I'm gonna put in my therapist's mailbox tomorrow. I tell you what. Don't you know it?
Speaker 2:K. Sprinkle. Sprinkle. Sprinkle. Sprinkle.
Speaker 2:I got my own giant movie popcorn machine. Well, I did not get Jules got it. Jules got for them kids, but I'm one, and I I'm gonna I'm gonna learn to do it by myself one time, figure it out for safety while they are riding bikes and go to the park, but, oh, man. I know they want some, so they are called chomping at the bit, but I'm chomping at the popcorn. Let's try it.
Speaker 2:Oh, man. That feed my soul. Oh, yeah, buddy. Oh, yeah. Here we go, lizard.
Speaker 2:I am the lucky winner today. It's overflowing. It's so beautiful like clouds from the sky. I'm gonna cry at the beauty of it. Oh, man, I just got tears falling down my face.
Speaker 2:I sure do like when something good happens. And this is wonderful. It's beautiful and wonderful. And there is enough for all them outside kids, and there's enough for me too. And not just that big feelings about it.
Speaker 2:I'm so happy. I was never this popcorn happy before of my life. Okay. I gotta focus. I gotta save the corn.
Speaker 2:Okay. Sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkles. Dumpy? Put the lid up. Let's do another round because we got a lot of kids, that's why.
Speaker 2:One tablespoon. Two tablespoons. One scoop. Hey. I got the jackpot that time right on the target.
Speaker 2:Put the lid down. Remember that first time I thought that was enough and I just put it all away? Man, I didn't know nothing back then. K. Sprinkle.
Speaker 2:Sprinkle. Sprinkle. Sprinkle. Sprinkle. Sprinkle.
Speaker 2:And mix and stir. Oh, yeah. Oh, buddy. Oh, man. Oh, man.
Speaker 2:Oh, man. Hey, Peter. You gotta see this. I gotta send a picture. Okay.
Speaker 2:We gotta you gotta wait another round with me. This is try some. Make sure it's not poison. Oh, yeah. That's good stuff.
Speaker 2:I cannot tell you how happy I am of this moment. This moment is so special of me. This moment is such a special day. Oh, me. Here we go.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna cry again. Here we go. Here we go. We will never be hungry again. Three, two, one.
Speaker 2:I don't even have words for this moment. I wish you all can see this beauty. I will post a picture. It's the best day of my life. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah. Let's do just one more. One more, I think. One fighter. Okay.
Speaker 2:Two butter oil. One scoop. Two scoop. Red fish, blue fish. Oh, man.
Speaker 2:There's butter all over me. She's gonna kill me. Not really, guys. Don't get scared. That's no bad tasting either.
Speaker 2:Sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle. I'm getting this recipe down. Starry. Starry. I'm a little starrer.
Speaker 2:Yes. I am pouring the popcorn and watch it pop. Oh, man. It's gonna spill over this time. You guys just gonna be the last one.
Speaker 2:I better put this away. Oh, man. Oh, it's sticky. I don't even like sticky. I do not like sticky.
Speaker 2:Do you like sticky? It'll trigger me. Oh, yes. All clean up. All delicious.
Speaker 2:Look at this. Sometimes I need my privacy to learn something new, and then I can show them. Next time, I'll show the kids, but if I'm at risk for starting a fire, they definitely are right. So I I wanna do it by myself one time, but that's pretty good. Pretty good learning curve, I say myself.
Speaker 2:Pretty tasty reward too. Woah. That popcorn try take me out before I eat it up. Come on, little popper. Do your thing.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, buddy. Oh, man. Oh, man. This is gonna be good stuff. I think it's when I dump it.
Speaker 2:Yes. K. Off heat. Off stir. Leave light on.
Speaker 2:Sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle. Stirring. Minnie's so full now. Wait till I show you this. So full.
Speaker 2:Okay. Close. And put this on because I took it from off. Now I gotta put it from on. Close.
Speaker 2:Man, that's beautiful. You know what I think? I think if Jules say she she's she doesn't need to parent these kids because we are the parent, and she's gonna she's just gonna be a spoiled ant. Well, she's good at the spoiled, and I can't believe this thing. But, also, I ain't dating no ant because that just bugs me.
Speaker 2:May not crack myself up. Thank you for listening. Your support of the podcast, the workbooks, and the community means so much to us as we try to create something together that's never been done before, not like this. Connection brings healing, and you can join us on the community at www.systemspeakcommunity.com. We'll see you there.