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Grow your business. Lead with purpose. Love your life.
The Friday Habit gives entrepreneurs and small business owners actionable tips, inspiring interviews, and real-world strategies to help you scale smart and stay sane. Hosted by Mark Labriola II, this weekly show is your permission slip to build a business that works for you—not the other way around.
You can be a very high paid, high position, high performance, save.
Speaker 2:We got, Christian Ray Flores. He comes from a background of being a performance coach. He's cofounder of Third Drive Media and a former pop star turned entrepreneur. He's raised tons of money for startups and nonprofits, and now he helps leaders build extraordinary lives without losing themselves in the process.
Speaker 1:And then probably, I would say year nine, let's say, hypothetically. Right? I was like, is this all there is? And I think for me, it I realized I was I I also felt very conflicted about it because first of all, I understand how lucky I am to even be position. Like, few musician musicians get to that place.
Speaker 1:I was just extraordinarily lucky. Also, the fear of this is here, and if I wanna pursue something, what if I fail there? Confidence trap is when you're so good at it, that's something. And you're so good at it that you can't quit, but it's making you miserable on some level. That happens a lot actually.
Speaker 1:If you don't focus, you're like a flashlight. If you focus, you're a laser. Flashlight doesn't really change anything. You know, a laser does and cut through a lot stuff. So we turn you into a laser when it comes to expertise.
Speaker 1:You have a focal point. You focus that into incredible intellectual property and you have to learn how to create content that changes people's lives. Well,
Speaker 2:hey, everybody. Thanks for tuning in to the Friday Habit. And, today, we're we're blessed. We got, Christian Ray Flores. You know, I'm excited to talk to him because he comes from a background, of being a performer, a performance coach, And, you know, he's cofounder of, Third Drive Media and a former pop star turned entrepreneur.
Speaker 2:He's raised tons of money for startups and nonprofits profits, and now he helps leaders build extraordinary lives without losing themselves in the process. And so we're gonna unpack some skills and some habits, for sustainable life and business. So how's it going, my man?
Speaker 1:It's going well, and it's going even better after that very sunny intro that I love.
Speaker 2:Well, I'd love to, it's it's doing some research on you. You know, it seems like you've lived multiple lives already. So pop star, founder, coach, which version of those would you say is, you know, the worst?
Speaker 1:The the you know, every every every amazing thing has a shadow side. Right? So I would I can I can give you the shadow side of each each iteration, each incarnation of my career? I've changed careers, like, five times. So but, yeah, it's there's a there's a shadow side of each.
Speaker 1:Which one do you wanna know?
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I I and I totally get that because, you know, I was a musician. You know, all of my twenties, we were signed and we traveled, and, you know, I got to live my dream for a living. But, know, people are like, oh, don't you miss it? And I was thinking, you know, the year before we broke up, I was only at home, like, two weeks out of three months.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You know? And so now with the family and and all that, I just can't imagine doing those things. So as glamorous and as as fun as it as it looks, you know, it's sometimes there's there's aspects of it that aren't so great. So
Speaker 1:Yeah. I mean I mean, on the show business side, that was maybe, like, a decade of my life. Sort of the same thing. I was like, alright. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Is super cool. I also wanna build a family, and that's not gonna mesh mesh well.
Speaker 2:Yeah. They're not really conducive.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm not very conducive at all. Super cool, but I want to do something outside of that geography that I was in. I was, you know, in the sort of Eastern European 15 countries, post Soviet space. That was the shadow side. Super cool, but I'm doing pop music, but I also have a master's degree in economics.
Speaker 1:I wanna do entrepreneurship. It's not really there. At the time, it it wasn't there. I mean, I think it now it would have been a slightly different story. But so there's all kinds of things that were popped up after I reached what essentially for most musicians would be like a top one one 001% of of life.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Right? And I go, okay. This is amazing for this chapter. I need to, like, transition out into something more that I would enjoy more long term.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So give us a little backstory on kind of how you got started. You know, I'm assuming that when when you were a kid, you kinda dreamed about being a performer and and, you know, doing that. But then you you obviously went to school to get a degree Yeah. In Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Economics. So so you had a backup plan, which is always a good idea. I always tell my kids like, hey. Follow your dreams, pursue your passions, but have a backup plan.
Speaker 1:I wish it was I was that smart. I was not that smart, actually. You know? I was just very musical, and I danced. I sang, and I never thought until I was, like, halfway through college that this could be a thing.
Speaker 1:Right? So I went to college just because I didn't know what what else to do. And it was it's it was semi interesting, basically, you know, what I was doing. You know? And by the way, I did fall in love with economics.
Speaker 1:I'm still, like, an economics geek to this point Okay. To this day. So it's it did stick with me. It also helped me tremendously in sort of show business and post show business work just having that that training and that theoretical intellectual base even. Yeah.
Speaker 1:But at the time, it was not a strategy, man. I was, like, super young. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. And I happened to just fall into that particular sort of space. And then I was doing music and dancing on the side, and it was just a it was just a hobby until until, like, halfway through, I was like, you know what?
Speaker 1:I'm actually might be good enough to do this, you know, professionally. Right? So that was the the beginning of me trying.
Speaker 2:Yeah. What so because where did you grow up? Where? Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, all over the world. So this I I'm living in my sixth country and fourth continent. Okay. Yeah. So I grew up in Chile, Germany, Russia, Africa, back to Russia.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I changed three three continents and four countries by age seven.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Was your dad, like, in the military or something like that?
Speaker 1:No. It's more complicated than that. He was an engineer, and he, you know, and he we're supposed to just live the rest of our lives in Chile. My mom is Russian. That's why, you know, I was born there.
Speaker 1:And then there was a military coup and we were refugees, so we had to be kicked out of the country, got ex basically, asylum in Germany. So the the spark that started the whole thing was pretty ugly and scary. And then, eventually, it sort of transitioned into more expat work. He just got a job in Mozambique in Africa. And he was an engineer there, and that's where I grew up.
Speaker 2:Okay. Wow. And at at a young age, were you the kid who was always singing and dancing and, like, entertaining people around? Like Yeah. Like, how did how was that how did that kind of develop
Speaker 1:in you? I was very I loved singing. And I so and I never took it seriously because no one in my family had had done it. I'd never took it seriously in the sense of professional. Right?
Speaker 1:But I remember this is probably the first type of activity where I I remember as a as a kid, like, maybe 12, feel having a state of flow. Like like you you lose track of time kind of thing. I can do this forever kind of thing. Right? So the feeling was there.
Speaker 1:And there was just I was like a part of a folk group, Latin American group of kids, and we had like a volunteer teacher who taught us all these Latin American songs. You know, that was basically it. Yeah. Until, you know, we're we're back in Russia. My parents got divorced.
Speaker 1:We ended up back in Russia. Then I was like, you know what? I'm gonna dance. I was a became a break break dancer, and I became really, really good at it in my, like, late teens. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I was into Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson and break dancing and, you know, like, mixing styles and choreography. And I was part of this jazz club where I discovered, like, black music, like Ray Charles and Al Giro and and Chaka Khan and all these sort of r and b, soul, jazz stream, and that that became my jam, basically. You know, I just fell in love with that kind of music. So it all it all sort of came together eventually, right, into something.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Do do you speak Spanish and do you speak Russian?
Speaker 1:I do. And Portuguese. So I speak foreign languages. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I do. Dang. Okay. That's that's great. I I love that.
Speaker 2:I feel like, you know, people who grow up overseas and learn multiple languages, you know, it's like your brain just kinda works in a different way because, yeah, you have activate those different
Speaker 1:That's what I hear.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's You're like, how would I know, though? That's all you've ever known.
Speaker 1:Right? Yeah. I don't but I heard that there were studies that apparently sort of affects the way you think.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So No. That But
Speaker 1:it's sort of my baseline, so I'm not exactly sure how it works. Did
Speaker 2:you so growing up, your parents got split when you were in high school?
Speaker 1:Yeah. Mhmm. I was 14.
Speaker 2:How did that affect you as far as, you know, obviously, now you have to decide whether to go with your dad or your mom, or or your dad was like, now you go with your mom.
Speaker 1:No. He want he wanted me he wanted us to stay with him, and mom wanted to go. She was so hurt that she wanted to go back to Russia. She's Russian. And both my sister and both my sister and I decided to go with mom.
Speaker 1:I think partially because my dad was at fault, essentially. And then but it did affect me profound I was devastated for many years, actually, you know, because I I I we had a good family. So in in the sense that it was a safe place, it was a secure place, it was a loving place, And we had so many adventures, and I, like, I I couldn't it was it was a really good foundation parent parenting wise. Yeah. And then it all just collapsed, you know.
Speaker 1:So so I was, like, grieving, not grieving the bad because sometimes divorces happen, people fight, and there's abuse, and none of that was happening. Right? Mhmm. But but it did affect me because it was so good, and then I lost it. You know?
Speaker 2:Yeah. And sometimes too, I think as a kid, you just you rise to the occasion, like, this is your life, and you don't realize until later on in life, you start
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, taking, you know, taking some stock of how how things went and you thought, oh, man, that affected my personality. Or I I think I started acting like this when that happened, you know,
Speaker 1:and you
Speaker 2:kinda look back and see. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, it messed up my romantic life forever until I was might be, like, in my mid twenties where
Speaker 2:because what? You're afraid of commitment and you're afraid of
Speaker 1:I would sabotage every relationship I had. Yeah. Whenever it got a little serious, I would do something stupid and mean actually. You know, like, would just, you know, be so cowardly to not have to initiate the breakup. I would like provoke the breakup so that the other person breakups with me.
Speaker 1:So it's just pathetic. Right? But but it did affect me over and over again. That's what I did until my until I was, like, 25, 26, 26, probably. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. And so wow. Okay. So you have this adventurous life life.
Speaker 2:You're traveling to all these countries, living on different continents. You know, you have a a god given ability for, you know, entertaining and singing and dancing and all these other kind of things. And then you you go off to to school because it's time to go to college. So you you're like, well, I like economics and numbers and things like that. So let me study that.
Speaker 2:And then halfway through college, you realize like, okay, I'm gonna try to go all in on music and pursue this as a career. And and so you you do that. And then that was, like, a decade of your life. Like, what? All your twenties, you were just traveling and singing and entertaining?
Speaker 1:Yeah. I I I graduated in my when I was 21. I graduated super early with a master's. Right? Probably the I think I was the youngest in my class, actually.
Speaker 1:And and that's but I I was I've been trying to, by then, quit college, like, probably for a couple of years. And my mom
Speaker 2:It's like a girlfriend that wouldn't break up
Speaker 1:with you. And my mom would just freak out on me, just lose her mind. Okay. And I would be like, okay. I'm gonna give her a heart attack.
Speaker 1:I can't this is not worth it. Right? So I'm gonna just just get it done. Right? And and it's funny because I stuck with it, and I was, like, resenting the fact that I had to stay in.
Speaker 1:And then, like, year three, four, five, I was, like, I was actually actually digging. I'm I'm learning something. It's interesting and engaging. Not enough to make a career out of it. Right?
Speaker 1:But Yeah. And I actually tried for about a year. I was this sort of intern at this international trade company, and I was in these sort of mind numbing meetings about iron ore trade and things like that that I was like, shoot me now. I can't do this, you know, and, you know, so but then the music part, you know, if you get a a decent degree in something, you're employable. Right?
Speaker 2:So Right.
Speaker 1:Most of my friends went to academia or PhD PhDs or trade or banking or finance. So you you get a secure something next step at least. And for me, it was just not even on the table. I went like, I'm gonna do something that has, like, a 1% success rate, you know, trying to make music. But I was just compel I was like, you know what?
Speaker 1:I can live in a shoebox. I can try for two, three, four, five years, you know, and then I'm still 25 by then. Fine. Fine. Right?
Speaker 1:I can do that. I'm gonna regret not trying, basically. That was sort of my Yeah. My strategy.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I and I and I that's what I usually I mean, that's what tell my own kids. I was like, listen. You know, especially when you're young, you have so much time to a year feels like an eternity when you're young. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so it's like to try something and fail, it's like, well, just then get back up and do something else. You know? It's like but then you can live your life without having regrets and thinking, oh, what if? You know? It's like, yeah.
Speaker 2:Just try and fail in your twenties. Figure out what you wanna do. And then, you know, in your thirties, really locked down and, like, you know, really develop yourself to something and become an expert at it. And then you kind of, you know, go through your life in in these different stages. You know?
Speaker 1:I fully subscribe to that fully. I think the twenties are just for puzzling. That's that's Yeah. That's it. That's that's and it's if the more you puzzle, the better, I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Not only not only because you
Speaker 2:I agree.
Speaker 1:Learn what you wanna do, but you actually pick up skills that are on on the surface unrelated that will be actually very useful in the long run. Mhmm. So you become more of a generalist. I think that's a really good thing. It's better to start a generalist and then become a specialist than the other way around.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Totally. The jack of all trades.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. Learn learn a bunch of different skills. Yep. And then once you really start to figure out, okay, what your strength is and all those, then just kinda dial down and start
Speaker 1:to Yeah. I think so. I think that's a bet better sequence in my opinion.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I love this. And I and I think, especially for you, you know, someone who, you know, does a lot of coaching and and and advising, it's like having a a depth of knowledge and and a lifelong of different experiences. Oh, Gives you gives you so much to pull from, like a tool belt of Totally. Experiences.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think, you know, being a musician, someone might say, oh, well, that's glamorous. But in the same way, like, I know for me, I learned really how to sell as a musician. You know, I I got to be on stage, and I got to, like, communicate with crowds of people. And then also when I was booking shows, I had to, like, you know, talk to to vendor owners, and I had to, like, email people. And I know, there's, like, these skills that you don't think that you're actually developing or or or growing.
Speaker 2:But when I look back, I'm like, oh, wow. Like, I learned a lot of those skills that I'm good at now. Totally. You know, pursuing being a musician and and and living that life. You know?
Speaker 1:That's exact that's exactly it. Like, even if you change sort of into a different space, the skills are transferable. A lot of them are transferable, actually. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. So so give me the the next phase. So you you you go you you you don't win a Grammy, you don't become the next Ricky Martin or, you know, Enrique Iglesias. Like, what happens?
Speaker 2:Like and then and was that difficult? When what was the next phase or transition of your life?
Speaker 1:I actually did I mean, for that space, I did become the next Ricky Iglesias.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Nice. I I yeah. I I was one of the top pop artists in all of that post Soviet space.
Speaker 2:Okay. Nice.
Speaker 1:I I had a string of hits, number one hits. One of my songs were used as the anthem for the Boris Yeltsin election campaign against the communist. I was on MTV. I was everywhere. Like, really, I was doing sports arenas at the peak.
Speaker 2:Okay. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And so I did do basically everything that someone could do. Right.
Speaker 2:Everything you dreamed about, you,
Speaker 1:like, achieved. Totally. Videos, multiple albums, MTV, radio, t magazine covers, all of it. Right? So so it it was it was really, really good.
Speaker 1:And then probably, I would say, year nine, let's say, hypothetically. Right? Eight, maybe. I was like, is this is this all there is? You know?
Speaker 1:And I think for me, it I realized I was I I was felt very conflicted about it because first of all, understand how lucky I am to even be in that position. Like, very few musicians get to that place. I was just extraordinarily lucky. Also, the fear of well, this is this is here. And if I wanna pursue something, what if I fail there?
Speaker 1:You just don't know. Right? And but I felt that after sort of really considering it, I was like, you know what? There are people that are born to do one thing. You know?
Speaker 1:And a music a lot of musicians are actually that way. They're like, this is what I live and breathe. You know? Like, since I was five or something. And I if I'm honest with myself, I'm just not that guy.
Speaker 1:Like, I speak four languages. I I like entrepreneurship. I was I got into spirituality. I went to ministry. I wanted to do philanthropy because I grew up in the third world.
Speaker 1:I wanted to serve the poor. I want to raise raise a family. So there's all these layers of me that were actually inactive, like, you know, not really they were dormant in me. Yeah. So on the surface, I was like, to the max.
Speaker 1:Right? You know, creative lifestyle, creating things that are moving millions of people. But actually, inside of me, if I'm honest with myself, there's, like, whole segments of my character, my desire that were just inactive. And I think that actually happens. It's really like, I know that the pop star thing overshadows it, but it happens to a lot of people that are very successful.
Speaker 1:You know, you I call it the the competence gap trap rather, the competence trap. The competence trap is when you're so good at it, at something, and it bring in and you're so good at it that if you that you can't quit, but it's making you miserable on some level. That happens a lot, actually. You know?
Speaker 2:Well, you see that. Right? Like, in Hollywood and Totally. LA. It's like musicians who've made to the top of the top, you know, or actors who've made and then they're still depressed, and they still don't feel fulfilled, and they, you know, are still lonely.
Speaker 1:Same thing with the business world. Right? You you Yeah. You lean your your ladder against a certain wall, and then you're like, okay. This was the wrong wall, but I've so up so high up the ladder that I can't really change ladders, like, change walls.
Speaker 1:You know? So you can't quit. You of course, you can quit. Of course, you can sort of transition. And that's sort of one of the things that I do really well with coaching is that I help people who want an off ramp to something to a different wall, essentially.
Speaker 1:You know? Yeah. And they just need some sort of vehicle and a skill set to do that and in a in a responsible way. Right? So a lot of people that come to me are usually people that are really top top of their game but dissatisfied.
Speaker 1:Or something that they were satisfied ten years ago makes them dissatisfied now. Because you have seasons in life. Right? Yeah. You know, in the beginning, go, man, you know, this is the best.
Speaker 1:Then over time, your your preferences, your values change, your desires change, they evolve. Yeah. But you can be trapped by your own competence because you're so good at it that you can't quit. You know? Yeah.
Speaker 2:So Well, and then there's the fear aspect too. Right? Yeah. There's an element of, like, that little voice inside of our heads that say, oh, like, you couldn't do this or you're you're gonna fail or you're not good enough. You know, that kinda Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Just makes you afraid, like, oh, well, what if you pivot or do something different, and it destroys all that you've built in your life. And so you you become you kinda live in bondage.
Speaker 1:You do. Yeah. You can be a very high paid, high position, high performance slave. You know? Yeah.
Speaker 1:Easily. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Okay. So then the music thing, you felt like you had all these other other, like Mhmm. Talents and all these other gifts to, like, use and and give. And so was that a hard transition to make that decision?
Speaker 2:Were you in that that space of, like, okay. And and how do you make that leap?
Speaker 1:Well, you you I transitioned out gradually, which is probably the the responsible thing to do. But it was painful on a number of levels. First of all, my crew, people that started with me, like, people that their livelihoods are connected to to my success. And I had to basically go, hey, guys. I'm gonna, like, off ramp this thing.
Speaker 1:And it's, like, heartbreaking, right, for them. The fans, heartbreaking for fans. Like, it's been twenty plus years. I'm not exaggerating. Every once in a while, I get some sort of YouTube comment or an email saying, why?
Speaker 1:Why did you do this? You know, like, the things that you could have done if you stayed. You know, like, it's just heartbreaking. Right? Because people associate their their joy with some of their musical sort of heroes and things like that.
Speaker 1:And and they wanted they loved your stuff, and they wanted to see more. And then all of a sudden, you just decided, yeah. I'm not gonna do this anymore. Like, who does that? Right?
Speaker 1:So Yeah. So I got a lot of bad press as well, you know, and people because it because it's very rare that people actually do that.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:You know? And I but I'm I think I grew up I have enough of a tolerance for suffering, also high tolerance for risk and a high value of freedom in in agency. That's just sort of embedded in the way I grew up. So I I did I escaped the competency trap more easily than most people do. I just go, okay.
Speaker 1:I'm not feeling it anymore, you know, and that's it. So
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. You're you're you have a high tolerance for pain and risk.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So so it's easy for me internally, externally, relationally, all kinds of ways it was not. Right? So there was just all these other things.
Speaker 2:And so what did you pivot into?
Speaker 1:I started doing ministry work. I started doing philanthropy Okay. For a little bit of time. And with it
Speaker 2:So it was a higher calling that kinda pulled you out of that?
Speaker 1:I think so. Yeah. I felt I was a very like, I I grew up it's really ironic. I grew up in a Marxist family. Right?
Speaker 1:Because everybody I knew was an atheist. Right. And but my dad was I actually had this conversation with him just a couple days ago. He was such an idealist. And he would like, when he was working in Africa, he could be working in the first world making sort of middle class, upper middle class money, but he was making pennies.
Speaker 1:But he was there for the cause because the country was just got their freedom from colonialism and the economy need to be built. And they were all all these group all his friends were people like that. We're like, we're here to build a country, to build a new future for this fledgling sort of democracy, that kind of thing. And so I was it was sort of hardwired into me to live for a higher cause. And so I've made several decisions like that over, like, forever actually since until recently where I'm like, okay.
Speaker 1:Need to sort of correct it. The pendulum has swung way, like, high cause, low commerce kind of. Although, I'm an entrepreneur. And I'm like, seriously, dude. See, you you have to start thinking about commerce at least on the same level as a cause.
Speaker 1:Right? So so I had a I was laughing with my dad on the phone the other day. I'm like, I blame you, dude. Like, you brought me up that way. Do not, like, give me attitude about you know?
Speaker 1:So he laughed. Yeah. He was
Speaker 2:like, hey. Why aren't you
Speaker 1:doing this? I'm like, hey, man. You did this to me. You yeah. Like, I blame you.
Speaker 1:Totally. You know?
Speaker 2:So then was was your dad, like, Catholic or something?
Speaker 1:No. He was a Marxist. He was an atheist. Oh, really? He just and my point my point is he was very very cause driven.
Speaker 1:That's all. Like, that I got that part. And then when I became a Christian, was 26. That was a peak of my career. I had just all these
Speaker 2:How did you become a Christian?
Speaker 1:I was a I was super miserable, predictably so, at the peak of my career. Yeah. And most but more specifically, I was terrible. It was sort of remember how I said the divorce really wrecked me? Yeah.
Speaker 1:I would I'll be relay I was I was relationally very unhappy. And I really wanted a I just I really wanted a family. But then at the same time, in the same breath, in the same sort of being, I was like, yeah. All all all marriages and then failure and heartache and the kids are right. And so I would basically build something up, like, and I'll start dating somebody, and then I would break it up and date until one day, one of the girls I was dating got pregnant.
Speaker 1:We had a baby. And I was like, I don't even know how to live, man. Like, I just brought a child into this world. I don't even know how to build a family. And I was really, really depressed and very desperate.
Speaker 1:And of all things, I didn't think of Christianity because I actually didn't I was sort of critical of Christianity because the the thing the version of it that I saw was very sort of ritualistic and not clear.
Speaker 2:Because, like, what in Russia? It was Eastern Orthodox. Christian company, it's, like, orthodox orthodox.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Eastern Orthodox. So there's a lot of people in strange garbs, you know Yeah. Doing, like, smoky things and saying chanting and
Speaker 2:Having, like, crazy beards
Speaker 1:and hair. Big beards and, like, the crowns and jewels.
Speaker 2:It's it's not, like, relational.
Speaker 1:No. It's not relational. It's not instructional either. Like, it doesn't equip you to do anything. So there's icons.
Speaker 1:So it was really more of a religion for old people who wanted to something to have put their hope in. But to me, I I was like, I'm an educated person. What the heck? You know, this is not helpful. And then I bumped into a guy who was a pastor who was a Protestant pastor.
Speaker 1:He's a Canadian guy. And he had this wisdom about him, and he had this family. And I was like, well, I came came to his house maybe, like, a week or two after we met. And he his family was there, and he's just a little girl, five year old Britton, and his wife Tammy, and they were just so sweet together. And I literally turned to him and I'm like, how do you how do I get this?
Speaker 1:I literally said that. Like, I'm I'm sort of a straight shooter. Right? I have a guy who's very driven. And I was very desperate for that thing.
Speaker 1:And he he was like, well, I'll teach you from the Bible if you're open. I'm like, oh, okay. Let's do this. You know? And that was it.
Speaker 1:It was so quick. Wow. But it cut I think because I was so desperate to acquire that wisdom, and he just said that wisdom is in the Bible, in this lifestyle. And I was like, I'll do anything. Because I was an all in kinda guy anyway.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:You know, I was already done this with music, with other things like that. Right? So I'm like, alright. Let's go, man. And I got baptized in, like, two and a half weeks.
Speaker 1:Completely changed my lifestyle. And and part of the my confusion with romance is that, you know, you have, like, millions of teenage girls who think they love you, you know, when you're Right. A a pop idol. Right? Which is very bizarre.
Speaker 1:It's just not normal a normal environment for romance for for a young man. So that added to the confusion as well. And I just was like, that I'm done. And I literally quit dating everything. Like, all anything associated with the sort of the what we consider the the the sins of of the pop stardom.
Speaker 1:I cold turkey quit.
Speaker 2:Wow. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
Speaker 1:All of it.
Speaker 2:All of
Speaker 1:All of it. It in one decision, in one fell swoop.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:Because I was just desperate for the thing on the other side. I wanted to get the prize.
Speaker 2:Well, you had you had you had tasted it all. Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah. I was on the I mean
Speaker 2:And then it was, like, still you were unfulfilled.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Tasted it. It's like, there's nothing there. It's super discouraging and actually, you know, destructive. Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I'm like, okay. I've been I've done that. I'm not gonna do that anymore. And I I just turned the other way, basically.
Speaker 2:Wow. That's amazing. That's a really cool story.
Speaker 1:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And so then from there, you were like, alright. I'm gonna go all in on philanthropy and, like Mhmm. Start, like Yeah. Helping people in need and Yeah. We we were building organizations.
Speaker 1:We worked with orphans. We we that that started doing these big events. I started working with churches. And I I had a ministry for artists and Christian artists for a while that was super cool, like so cool. There's artists and fashion designers and animators and athletes.
Speaker 1:And I had, like, five Olympians in just one my my ministry that I that I led. Wow. Olympic athletes. Of it. It was AMS, arts media sports.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And and I had people that were people that were famous came in, and but the coolest thing is people that were in it became famous after joining. You know?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And they were like there was like a boy band that became super famous because they all met at this ministry.
Speaker 2:It was like plus one or something like that?
Speaker 1:No. It's called Xmesia. Oh, okay. And AMS, AFS Media Sports, it's an x in Russian. Oh.
Speaker 1:So they literally named it after the after the ministry. Oh, wow. And became huge. You know? And then they did solo careers out of there and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:So it was really fascinating. So I did that and we did a lot. I mean, we served thousands of kids. We did this big event for orphans in Moscow. And Michael Jackson came to my event.
Speaker 1:You know, it was insane. Right? Because he was like my hero. Yeah. Right?
Speaker 1:I mean, he was a big part of why I did music because he was such a huge influence. Right. And then we we did like a Hail Mary kind of let's do this. Let's time it when he's he's playing a stadium and do this big event. We used to do it anyway, and we're like, let's time it and see if we can reach out to his people.
Speaker 1:We know he loves kids and causes and, like, you know, fingers crossed, and he came. It was just insane. Surreal. So, yeah, we did a lot of that. And then eventually, we I married my wife, Deb.
Speaker 1:She's American, and she moved I mean, we had no intention of leaving Russia. Had our kids there, had two other girls there in the so we have three total. And we her health started declining. She has fibromyalgia. We didn't we couldn't predict that her health was gonna be hit by the climate.
Speaker 1:It's really cold and sucky out there. You know? The climate was
Speaker 2:What part of Russia were
Speaker 1:you in? Moscow. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay. Yeah. I've been watching all these YouTube videos on Yucatan. Uh-huh. And Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yucatan. Like, Siberia?
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yucatan. And it's like,
Speaker 2:you know, negative 50 degrees Fahrenheit.
Speaker 1:It was not that bad. But yeah. I've been to those places too, by the way. Like, I've been Oh, really? Well, I toured all over the country, all over Oh, right.
Speaker 1:All over the former Soviet Union, the republics, all the everything starting from the Baltic States, you know, Estonia, Litvale, late Yeah. To the stands like Armenia, Georgia, Kazakhstan, all of those places, all the way to, like, North North of the North Pole line, you know, where there's Yeah. So the coldest temperature I I was exposed to is minus 43 Fahrenheit. And this is all about the point where Fahrenheit and Celsius Celsius are the same. They coincide apparently
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Around that point. So like minus five imagine minus 43 Fahrenheit. It feels like you're on the surface of the moon and you're gonna die in about ten minutes. Like, if you if you you stay out, you know. So we would, like, jump out of the car and time each other.
Speaker 1:How how long
Speaker 2:could we How
Speaker 1:long you could
Speaker 2:stay outside?
Speaker 1:So it was horrible. Like, everything turns to ice, like your skin, everything. It's just unbelievable how people live there. But people live there. It's crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It is. And so and so for them, just like, okay. The cold, all that stuff obviously affects your fibromyalgia. And so
Speaker 1:Yeah. We had make it easy. Decided to move to Stateside. Yeah. So about twenty one years ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And Oh, wow. Yeah. And I did a philanthropy for a few years. I was basically VP for Latin America for this big charity.
Speaker 1:Because I speak Spanish. Right? I have all these things, you know, that I can do. Yeah. And I look like me.
Speaker 1:So Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You must have been a unique Russian looking dude.
Speaker 1:I was. I was exotic out there. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Exactly.
Speaker 1:I was exotic out there. And the thing is, you know, that's why I say, you know, when I teach people about personal brand development. Right? I'm like, look. Human nature and post industrial sort of thinking is like you fit in to have success.
Speaker 1:Right? You just put your head down, you fit in. Actually, especially now, you stand out to have success, you know, especially with more modern technology. We're not in the industrial age anymore, and you can reach anyone anywhere. But I I learned that lesson, like, pre Internet.
Speaker 1:Right? Because I I I land in Russia, and I'm like this dark skinned kid. They they put me in this high school. Everybody's like, Slavic looking. And I look like a I look like a Pakistani, you know, like and at the time, you know, I I have sort of darker olive skin, but I was, like, dark dark because I was outside all the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You're, like, in the sun.
Speaker 1:Yeah. It's just tan. I look like I'm from India or something. Right? And I I it's just ugly that I know was super short as well.
Speaker 1:And and then I had, like, a little growth spurt later about, like, fifteen, sixteen, something like that. But I was like this. I have pictures of in high school unless, like, the the tiniest guy, dark skin, like, completely out of place. Right? I don't I do not fit in at all.
Speaker 1:And I think that really helped me long term to go, well, if I can't fit in, I'm gonna stand out on purpose. And also, I had a growth spurt. I looked a little bit more, you know, better Yeah. Than that guy. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Ugly duckling kind of situation.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And I became I I stood out and I was exotic and people were like, you must be an artist. Let's give you a a studio to work in or something, you know. And it became a thing. It became part of the brand. You're you're differentiating yourself.
Speaker 1:You're embracing how different you are becomes part of your brand. So and that's true. Right. It was true in the pre Internet days. It's true now even more, I think, where and one of the big the big things that I do is help people take things that don't they don't think this is a valuable asset for their brand, and it totally is.
Speaker 1:You know? Everything from preferences all the way to failures to quirky contrarian views and things like that. And you you shape that, you mind that, and you shape that into a brand, and then you present it to the world. And it's a very different outcome from where you Yeah. You're going home.
Speaker 1:You're just gonna do like this. These are the three influencers or thought leaders or whatever. Right? I'm gonna and you it it's good to imitate to just learn from somebody. But in the long run, it just doesn't work.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. And and it's I it it's that cliche saying. Right? Like, no one else can be you.
Speaker 2:So, you know, be the best you you can be. You know? But it it there's so much truth around that. Yeah. And then also, we all have these different experiences that that mold and shape us throughout our life Mhmm.
Speaker 2:That make us so unique. You know? Kinda like what you were saying. It was like, for me, I was like the chubby kid. You know?
Speaker 2:And and so I was like, well, how do I get girls? Because I I like girls and but I'm chubby. But I was like, hey. Girls like to laugh. So if I can become funny, you know,
Speaker 1:if I There you go.
Speaker 2:Good time, you can tell jokes. Like, you know, the girls be like, well, he's chubby, but he makes me laugh. He's funny. You know? Exactly.
Speaker 2:Was like, you know, that was kind of the brand that that I started to develop was, like, you know, the chubby funny guy. And then when I had, like, fifteen minutes of fame on American Idol and, you know, when I was going to Hollywood, it was like, okay. There's a cast. They're trying to build a cast of people. And so they need, you know, the guy who looks like Thor.
Speaker 2:They need the girl who looks like Britney Spears.
Speaker 1:And then they
Speaker 2:need the chubby funny guy. You know? And so it was like, put some glasses on, wear a hat, and then it was like, you know
Speaker 1:Oh, that's awesome. Part of that cast. Yeah. I I wanna see that clip now. I didn't know that about you.
Speaker 1:That's fantastic.
Speaker 2:Yeah. After this call, just Google Mark Labriola. You know?
Speaker 1:I will totally do that now. Absolutely. I have to I have to watch that.
Speaker 2:You know? But but, yeah, it is one of those things that my my wife, it's so funny because, you know, she's always like, you know, I'll find some sort of shirt that I think is like, this is so cool. And she's like, that looks so dumb. And I'm like, I know, but if you say dumb, I think it's cool. That means it's like part of my brand.
Speaker 2:Like, this is like
Speaker 1:That's right. Yep. Embrace it, man. Embrace your weird. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Alright. So let's that kind of brings us into the next phase. I think I wanna kinda go with our conversation is kinda you you you talked about helping people kinda discover their brand. And and, again, I I feel like people, they they connect with people they know, like, and trust. Right?
Speaker 2:They buy things from people they know, like, and trust.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:And one way to get people to know, like, and trust you is to be present online, right, and and having visibility and and creating content and all these other kind of things. And so what are some of the things that you run into on a consistent basis where people have a hard time? I mean, I know the the big thing for me is, like, people have a hard time showing up on video. Right? They they feel awkward.
Speaker 2:They don't know how to, like, look into a camera and talk. They they they think they look weird or whatever. How do you help people kinda overcome some of those things so they can really push into who they are?
Speaker 1:Well, the work starts, as I said, a little bit before that. So I I have this framework that I use to basically it's called the seven p framework, and it's basically this this way to discover from the inside out. Mhmm. And I think that that helps when you have sort of clarity around it, even if it's general clarity. When you show up in front of the camera, it actually helps you be excited about it and overcome any awkwardness, like a skill gap that you may have.
Speaker 1:And everybody has a skill gap there. Right?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:But I would say first is like, what are your passions? You know, like, I go from the inside out, the the passion, the people that you care about on, like, three different dimensions, the pain of the people that you're trying to serve, the the the promise you can make them of something very specific that gives you a point point a to point b, the process you're gonna take them through. All these things are sort of developed, then you choose a platform that's sort of the outward looking stuff. Right? And then you go, okay.
Speaker 1:What is the profit? How do you make a profit out of this? What platform are gonna use to sort of spread the spread this thing? So it's a seven p construct, really profound and helps people tremendously because it's sort of the step by step discovery. And then after you emerge as you emerge from that, not necessarily after, it could be a down parallel, you do have to overcome sort of this very simple thing.
Speaker 1:First of all, you need to know how to develop content. Right? What to focus on? You know, and everybody's like, I think I have ideas. They have all this.
Speaker 1:They have, like, a decade or two of of expertise, but they don't have it folk in a focal point. They don't have Mhmm. Pillar concepts. So we usually build a central focal point and then pillar concepts around it, and then the stories and evidence and and sort of points around that. So if you have sort of this construct, you can improve it over time, and you will never run out of content, which is I think the biggest fear is that I don't know what to say.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I have it in me to do it week in, week out. The camera thing, you're right. Public speaking. Right? That's another thing.
Speaker 1:Right? It could be public speaking is hard. Speaking on camera is hard. So how do you do that? We work on those things.
Speaker 1:Starting with actually the skills, but also the technology that you used to do it and stuff like that. And then the others part of the skill gap, think, is is writing. It's basically creative process. Yeah. So you can be an operator of a of a you can have a multimillion dollar business.
Speaker 1:I have a client who has a $250,000,000 business. You know? And he's an extraordinary human being, so gifted. I mean, unbelievable high performer and great communicator. And he even have the has the writing skills.
Speaker 1:Most people don't have the writing skills. Mhmm. But if he he didn't have a creative process, he just didn't didn't have space for that in his world because he's an operator. He's a leader.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Well, you need to sort of go, yeah, you're you're an operator, but you wanna be a thought leader. That's different. Right? You're an expert, but you want also want to be a creator. What what do you need to shift?
Speaker 1:And there's a lot to shift because by that time, you know, if you're an expert, you're probably thirty, thirty five, forty, forty five. You have a mortgage, a wife, couple kids, a Labrador, whatever. Right? Like, obligations, three or four, you know, people who are accountable to you and your firm if you're a CEO, whatever, a VP. Your life is soulful.
Speaker 1:If you don't have a creative process, the discipline to pursue it, and then insert that and start creating mastery in that, you're not gonna have a brand. Simple as
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:It's it's not happening. You can have the best of intentions, and you're gonna fail. So those are the bigger gaps, I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah. What what do you think you know, with you coaching high performing, purpose driven professionals, you know, what do you think the most common blind spot you see in a ambition ambitious founders?
Speaker 1:I think they don't see how the it's really paradoxical. Right? They're confident because they're they have built something. But they, I think, secretly don't think their expertise is special
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:To create to write a book, for example, do a keynote. Right? Secretly, they go, well, because it's so familiar to them.
Speaker 2:Right. Like, don't see the uniqueness
Speaker 1:of They don't. They don't. And because they haven't done the work to focus their expertise into a central concept, pillar concepts around and all the things that we work on, those are the sort of the building blocks of any intellectual property that goes out. It could be books, keynotes, YouTube channel, podcast, things like that. Right?
Speaker 1:If you don't focus, you're like a like, the way I'd explain it, if you don't focus, you're like a flashlight. If you focus, you're a laser. Flashlight doesn't really change anything. You know? Yeah.
Speaker 1:A laser does and cut through a lot of stuff. So we turn you into a laser when it comes to expertise. You have a focal point. You focus that into incredible intellectual property, and you you have to learn how to create content that changes people's lives. And there's no shortcut, bottom line.
Speaker 1:You have to do it if you wanna go to that point of building a personal brand. Nothing else will take you there.
Speaker 2:Yeah. What you cofounded third third drive media. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And what what is the third drive? What what is that?
Speaker 1:It was an evolution of a failed company that I founded before that called Hollywood Hollywood World. I was in LA, and I I started a production company. We did music videos Uh-huh. And music production for for international artists produced in Hollywood. So we had sort of this this network of top just top notch everything.
Speaker 1:Directors, producers, DPs, studio, post production, writers, songwriters, like high grade. And then international artists would go, like, I need something that sounds like, what, whatever, Rihanna. Right? And we would like source the stuff, present the stuff, decide what to do, then create the music tracks, like, top top top level. And then every once in while, we do a music video either in conjunction to that or separately from people with people in Hollywood.
Speaker 1:So we did that for a while. And in sort of typical fashion of mine, I became, like, distracted to do something else and moved, like, from LA to Austin. I'm gonna just keep doing it from Austin. It's all good. And failed to sort of develop deep diversified markets there.
Speaker 1:And I was honestly just not paying attention. Right? And then the because I was focused a lot on the Eastern European market when the market fell. Oh, most of my clients, like, sort of, like, oh, we can't afford you anymore. You know?
Speaker 1:Right. So so that was basically the backstory, like a failed company, which was completely my fault, by the way. And I was like, well, I gotta I can do the same exact thing only for businesses and startups and nonprofits. So that's what Third Drive Media became. It's exactly the same thing.
Speaker 1:Okay. How do I tell a story? How do I present well? How do I raise capital and become successful as a startup founder or or a church leader or nonprofit leader, that kind of thing? So we did that for and we got, like, a bunch of awards because it's really a repurposing of the same skill set into just the end of
Speaker 2:space. Because I think when you come from a place of being exposed to all these things and then being able to kinda envision how you could take that into, like, a corporate environment.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:You know, it's just it's just a a way to repurpose the skills you've already built Totally. In a different industry. What so what's the name of your current your current company?
Speaker 1:So Third Drive Media is still we still operate that, and then Okay. Exponential is the the coaching company. And we we and, again, you see how that you can transition and expand. Right? You do nonprofit.
Speaker 1:You do music. You have an economics degree. You speak several languages. You're sort of exposed to things. Then you build a production company because you already have the Hollywood level grade sort of quality of stuff.
Speaker 1:You can speak the language of the producer, the arranger, the studio owner. And then you go transfer that to corporate to business and startups and nonprofits, and it's like, they're not used to my level of quality even. Yeah. Right. So it's so easy to compete there because they're like, you know, the I mean, they're about us videos and websites are so boring and unengaged, and they don't even see it.
Speaker 1:Right. So if I come in and somebody really is willing to have the budget and give it a go, I can say, look. You're even asking the wrong questions through your website. You know, you need to answer different questions. You're asking information questions, and you have to ask answer emotional questions.
Speaker 1:You know, you have to make people feel something. You know? And there's there's layers in human in human nature that you're not even touching with the way you communicate things. Right? And the same thing with with startups or or with the nonprofits rather.
Speaker 1:It's the same thing is that, you know, I just had I just one of my clients is a CEO of a nonprofit and he, you know, he was just in the program for just three months and he had to go do the speech at the scholar fundraiser that he does every year. And he we very easily I was like, okay. I've I've been to some of those. And and by the way, this is a really good story. A few years ago, Third Drive produced his video, his fundraising video that he still uses every year.
Speaker 1:So now when I'm like, dude, I think you need some coaching in in how to show up. Right? Because you're showing up as a CEO, but you need to show up as a thought leader, as a prophet. You need to touch something that is beyond here's the work that we do. I'm reporting back.
Speaker 1:Thank you for your generosity. Can you give some more? You know? That's the that's sort of the the dimension. So we work on his on his speech, and and he showed up.
Speaker 1:I mean, I have I have people in the room. I wasn't there at the time, unfortunately, who were like, who is this guy? Like, this is you're like a different person. You know? And he had sort of the record high raised 1,200,000 in an evening.
Speaker 1:Right? So that's the difference in the coaching part versus the sort of doing websites and videos for a company or a fundraiser. Right? Yeah. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And and and again, right, it's like telling those stories and connecting on an emotional level with people is so important. Because, I've been to so many of those, like, nonprofit events, and they just show all these numbers. And I'm like, why don't you show images of the lives that were impacted? You know, why don't you tell a story
Speaker 1:Tell a story.
Speaker 2:A life that was changed, you know, because that's gonna drive more
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, donations. That's gonna drive more support because people are gonna be able to, like, really connect with you. But then they're always like, oh, it costs too much money. And it's like, we'd have this crappy PowerPoint been using for the past five years. Exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah. We don't have the budget. I mean, the non nonprofits are notoriously terrible. They do not have a marketing budget, for example. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Which is the very thing.
Speaker 2:You're you're like a $10,000,000 organization, and you have $0 to spend on helping you get more money?
Speaker 1:Yeah. And and they just don't because they and and I understand why they're they associate, I think, marketing budget with for profit
Speaker 2:work. Spend. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And for profit work, like, you know. But in the nonprofit world, I mean, obviously, the bigger companies, they all have marketing staffs, not just budgets. But some of the smaller guys, they have, like, one person barely out of college, doesn't have strategy at They they can they can post on Instagram. That's basically the marketing they do. That's not marketing.
Speaker 1:You know, it's not marketing. You have to you have to say things differently. Right. So, yeah, so it's really fun to to be able to because I'm a very cost driven guy. Right?
Speaker 1:I'm like, yeah, you know, I I love I love serving the nonprofit leader, pastors and churches, you know, like that. That's another sort of dimension where pastors just don't show up as as thought leaders beyond the pulpit. Yeah. And and it's like the highest opportunity for for them to to expand and reach more people.
Speaker 2:And make an impact.
Speaker 1:Totally. Totally. Totally. Yeah. But they don't learn those skills.
Speaker 1:It's just and they can and the easy and it's an easy jump for them theoretically because they can speak. At least they can speak publicly. That's what they do. Right. But they don't translate.
Speaker 1:The still gap for them is in front of a camera. How do I create content? How do I write certain in a certain format for a platform? That sort of thing. And it's like untapped potential right there.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It seems to me like kinda hearing your story is that you you've kind of taken the the tools and the relationships and and everything that you've built and have have kind kinda just reinvented yourself multiple times throughout the years. Yeah. And you kinda just, you know, habit stacked or or relationship stacked to kinda do the next thing. What do you think has to be true internally for you to kinda reinvent, you know, yourself and the work that you do?
Speaker 1:I think self awareness is number one. Right? It's where where what season are you in, and are you happy in that season? Like, are doing what you're supposed to be doing in the season? So I divide the professional sort of life of a human being into four seasons, like, just like, you know, summer, winter, etcetera.
Speaker 1:It's you're first a student always. Right? You're a student.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:In in high school, in in college, you're a student, or you're just apprenticing, you're a student. You're just quite watching the thing being done, but you're not doing the thing. You're learning about the thing. Then you become a practitioner. You're learning about the thing.
Speaker 1:You're into the workforce, and you're exploring and puzzling in your twenties, that kind of thing. And you're, you know, doing something that might be uninspiring, but you're learning alongside somebody, you know, because you're a practitioner that is learning. Then there's the mastery season and where you're, okay, I can do stuff. I can start getting Then promotions. I'm VP, CEO, Right?
Speaker 1:General manager. And then or tenured professor, for example, depending on lead pastor, that's mastery across different spaces. And then you enter a fourth phase called sage. And that's when you start feeling you are there to impart, to train, to influence, to be a thought leader. And all four seasons are very organic, very natural to all of us.
Speaker 1:It's almost like an internal mechanism. Right? So for example, if you go you probably remember yourself from going to high school or going to college, and then you start doing music and you get your first gig and you get your first, like, couple $100 and it's like, oh my gosh, I've never had this kind of money. Right?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And you're, like, so excited. Right? Because you're a grown up now. Like, in five years from there, $200 is not gonna do for you. It's just Right.
Speaker 1:It's it's not a thing. Right? You want more and more and more. So your seasons of course, you enter the workforce. You just are happy to be in the vicinity of grown ups and learning stuff.
Speaker 1:But then you develop some skills and you go, well, where's my where's my place here? You know? And you find your way into a more influential place until you hit mastery, and then you have now you're calling the shots in in whatever space. But then and you hustle a lot in mastery because now you have all these layers. Most of the time, people get married, they have kids, they have obligations and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:Right? On all kinds of professional, personal, etcetera. And then eventually, you become dissatisfied with that because almost like there's an internal mechanism goes off and goes, I wanna give back. I wanna influence. I wanna train.
Speaker 1:I wanna tell my stories. I have so much so many stories to tell. And you can be at the top of your career making millions of dollars, and you still have that mechanism go flip. Yep. And you start quietly being unhappy.
Speaker 1:You know? You know? So a lot of the people that come to me are people that are in between mastery and and and Sage. Yeah. And they wanna they wanna on ramp to Sage and an off ramp from mastery.
Speaker 1:And it takes, whatever, a few years, but but it it so as I said, self awareness, understanding that there are seasons that you might have I was super I was off the charts happy being on MTV and hearing my voice in the on the radio and being on a magazine. I was like, what is this? Somebody pinch me. To fast forward five years and going, you know? So you have to be sort of self aware enough going, am I happy?
Speaker 1:Why not? What do I need to change? Do I have the courage to sort of transition? What how does it look like exactly? Right?
Speaker 1:Do I need guidance for this? What is it gonna cost me? Am I gonna is it okay even to suck? Because if you transition, it means that the new thing you wanna transition it, you're bad at it. And you're not used to being bad at anything because you've been, like, the the top of the food chain for a decade or so.
Speaker 1:Right? Right. It's like, are you are you okay with sucking for for a little bit? I mean and and some people are not. They're like, wait a minute.
Speaker 1:I'm I'm bad at something? Yeah. You're bad at something. Right. Everybody's bad at something.
Speaker 1:Right?
Speaker 2:Yeah. What and this is probably my final question. So having a faith and and and and growing a business, this is one area that I think, you know, I struggled with for a few years was, how do I I guess the question is, the world and the entrepreneur world is always talking about grinding and crushing and you know, creating the perfect email sequence and and the funnel to, you know, drive traffic and close more deals and make more calls and all these other kind of things. Have you struggled with or, what is your thought about bringing God into your business or your process and and kind of holding it with an open hand? Or is it just like, yeah, like, this is the world system.
Speaker 2:You get in it and you I think
Speaker 1:there's I think I think there's more there's more there on a spiritual level than people realize, I think. And and you you actually set it up perfectly because you go, okay, I have to hustle and learn and funnels and all the things. And you do need to learn some of those things. This is just a skill set to do the thing that you wanna do to get to the other side of, you know, where you are. But really, that's not ultimately, that's not what gets you there.
Speaker 1:It's just a skill that helps you get there, but the thing that gets you there is understanding purpose and being connected and being at peace and being creative. And all these things are spiritual things. Right? So if you hustle twenty four seven, as a matter of fact, most of the people that I coach, they are workaholic. Not necessarily even by choice, by just it's just slow.
Speaker 1:It's a slow build into that. Right? Mhmm. And I have to let go, look, if you wanna get where I know you wanna get, you need to have a Sabbath day. That's a spiritual principle, a day of rest.
Speaker 1:What do you mean Sabbath day? I mean, complete cessation of work. Netflix, don't diet, make love to your wife, go for a walk. What? How how I don't even understand the words coming out of your mouth right now.
Speaker 1:Like, that kind of that's the disconnect. Right? And that's just the baseline. I I just say, this is, you know, this is like kindergarten. This is not even advanced anything.
Speaker 1:Then you need to add to that the ability to emotionally self regulate to a degree where you can have peace, introspection, and wisdom flow out of you. Because without peace, introspection, and wisdom flowing out of you, you can't create valuable content. No funnel will help you. Right. No automation will do that for you.
Speaker 1:You're gonna fail. Or you're gonna be an a miserable sort of calculated formulaic person. And I know you don't want that. Right? So what you want is to have peace in your heart, to understand how do you emotionally self regulate to even think deeply about the the wisdom you wanna impart and change and and share with the world and have a legacy.
Speaker 1:That's a very spiritual thing. Why are you on Earth in the first place? Like, are you supposed to be doing right now? Know, like, these are deep things, and then you have to weave those in in very practical ways into your life where you have a creative fountain coming out of you. And you're all that's my what I enjoy most is seeing people go from, I want this on some level, but I have no idea how to get there, to going, I see it.
Speaker 1:I can see the the the value. I you know, I have a I have a client the other day say, Christian, I have so much stuff in my mind that I wanna share with the world. I can't sleep at night anymore. I'm like, alright. Sleep at night, but thank you.
Speaker 1:Because they they tapped into their creative genius. Mhmm. And they developed a process to actually deliver it to people. Right. And once that establishes, like, it's like the floodgates open, and it starts pouring out of them.
Speaker 1:And they just they they they shift into this new space, this new way of being, basically. That's great.
Speaker 2:Well, I I wanna leave people with maybe some encouragement and, maybe an action step that they could take next week. You know? So if if someone listening, I feel the theme of this conversation is kind of like, you know, taking risks, you know, and and maybe being courageous to to, you know, take a step. So if someone feels maybe that they feel called to something bigger, maybe a big transition, maybe to do a career pivot, maybe start something, but maybe they're afraid of the cost. What's the first courageous step they should take this week to kind of start moving in the right direction?
Speaker 1:Well, it's gonna cost you time, money. It's gonna cost you treasure, time, talent, and time. And it's basically you you have to sort of go, is the thing that I wanna get to? Am I willing to invest time, treasure, and talent into the thing? All three.
Speaker 1:And the thing is all three are nonnegotiable, and all three are absolutely necessary to get to to a new place, a higher ground. So I think sort of counting the cost is that is going, okay. Time, treasure, talent. That's gonna disrupt my life for a while. You know.
Speaker 1:And I think and and and I'm saying those things, say words of encouragement. It might actually be discouraging to some people that are are not built like me. It is encouraging to somebody like me. If you're built like me, you're a macro thinker before you're a micro thinker. Right?
Speaker 1:Mhmm. A macro thinker is like, okay. It is what it is. I wanna get there. It's gonna cost me time time treasure and talent.
Speaker 1:And because I wanna get there, I'm willing to do all three, and let's go. Mhmm. You know, like, that's my like, this the original story of how became a Christian basically tells you the same thing. Right? Like Yes.
Speaker 1:I want this. This is what it takes to get there. I'm all in. Let's go. And some people might not be encouraged by that, and I totally understand that.
Speaker 1:But I'm just I'm
Speaker 2:just Just find somebody else.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Just find another expert who could speak to that to that group. Right?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Awesome. Well, cool. Listen, Christian, thanks so much for hanging out with me and and sharing your story and and your journey. And this has been a great conversation.
Speaker 2:I feel like I could hang on and keep chatting with you.
Speaker 1:Thanks, man. Thanks, Mark. Yeah. And I'm I'm very excited about getting to know you. And I'm Yeah.
Speaker 1:Literally hanging up, and I'm gonna look up your American Idol stuff immediately.
Speaker 2:What if people wanted to connect with you, get more information, you know, maybe hire you to be a coach, what's the best way to get in contact?
Speaker 1:Look. If you if you wanna just hear more of this kind of stuff, just go to my newsletter. It will literally cost you nothing. Christianrayflores.com is the URL, and you'll just sort of get an email once once a week. And the the there's the treasure is investment is is zero or little if you like a paid subscriber.
Speaker 1:But if you really feel like, okay, this this dude has the goods, go to exponential without the e, starts with an x,.life, and then find a place where you can sort of apply and then sort of an application process.
Speaker 2:Awesome. Well, thank you so much. And thanks for listening to the Friday habit. If you go to the fridayhabit.com, you can find show notes for this episode. You can also find links to our websites and ways to get in touch.
Speaker 2:At the bottom of the page, you can download our guide to the Friday habit system that'll help you set aside one day each week to dedicate fully on working on your businesses that have always in your business. You can hit us up at hello at The Friday Habit. And until next time, remember, live every day like it's Friday.