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Happening in Upland is your weekly rundown of what’s going on around town—local news, community events, public safety updates, new restaurants, development, weather, schools, and the stuff Upland residents actually talk about.
Delivered with humor, honesty, and a very local point of view, this isn’t stiff broadcast news. It’s real, relevant information with personality. If you live in Upland or anywhere nearby in the Inland Empire, this is your weekly shortcut to staying in the loop.
MARK: Welcome to another soul-crushing episode of Happening in Upland. I'm Mark, your host and the guy who's currently wondering why the hell I decided to live on the surface of the sun. It's Wednesday, March 18, 2026, and if you haven't stepped outside yet, don't. Just stay in your house and contemplate your life choices in the air conditioning.
JOLEEN: Oh, quit your bitching, Mark. It's only ninety-seven goddamn degrees today. I mean, it's March. Who doesn't love a nice, brisk triple-digit preview before spring even officially kicks in? I'm Joleen, and I'm currently wearing three layers of sunscreen just to walk to my car. This city is a beautiful, scorched paradise, isn't it?
MARK: It's a goddamn oven, Joleen. Ninety-seven degrees on March 18th is a personal insult from the universe. I saw a squirrel today that looked like it was trying to negotiate a deal with a garden hose. And speaking of heat, let's talk about the headlines that are making this place even more unbearable. We've got to start with the literal graveyard on Arrow Route.
JOLEEN: You're talking about the Tesla Superchargers, right? That place is like a monument to failed dreams and shitty paperwork. Sixty-four charging bays just sitting there, covered in those sad little plastic bags like they're waiting for a funeral that's never going to happen. It's been what, since August of last year?
MARK: Yeah, August 2025 was when the county shut them down because they didn't meet state requirements. Something about labeling and power issues. Apparently, the output was a whole 0.01 kilowatts off from what the tags said. Can you believe that shit? We've got 64 chargers in one of the biggest stations in SoCal, and they're collecting dust because of a rounding error.
JOLEEN: It's peak California, honestly. We're all supposed to save the planet by driving these electric status symbols, but God forbid the label is off by a fraction of a percent. I drove by there this morning and saw a guy in a Model Y just staring at the bags like he was hoping they'd spontaneously combust and give him a charge. It really does look like a cemetery, just like that lady said in the papers.
MARK: Well, the DMV did give Tesla a bit of a break lately. They avoided that thirty-day license suspension last month because they stopped using the word 'Autopilot' in their marketing. Big win for Elon, I guess. He can keep selling the dream as long as he calls it something slightly less misleading. Too bad he can't figure out how to put a sticker on a charger that satisfies San Bernardino County.
JOLEEN: He's too busy with robotaxis and humanoid robots to worry about a few dozen angry drivers in Upland. If you're out of juice, you're hiking to Ontario, dickhead. That's the Upland way. Speaking of hiking, or rather, not being able to, we should probably mention the tragic shit happening on our borders. There was a fatal hit-and-run in Pomona just a couple days ago.
MARK: That's awful. A skateboarder got hit in a crosswalk and the driver just took off. It happened right near the edge of town. It makes you realize how many absolute assholes are on the road, especially when everyone's agitated by this heat. The police are still looking for a speeding driver. If you saw something, don't be a dick, just call it in.
JOLEEN: People drive like they're in a Mad Max movie lately. And it's not just the hit-and-runs. Did you see the news about those guys from Chino Hills and Upland? They're accused of violently stalking people in the Orange County family courts. Like, who has the time for that? If I'm going to stalk someone, it's going to be the guy who keeps leaving his dog's shit on my lawn, not some random judge.
MARK: Well, Upland is keeping things classy as always. Let's pivot to something that isn't a total bummer, or at least try to. The Upland Unified School District is already pushing summer programs. Enrollment opened on March 2nd. Because nothing says summer like more school, right? I'm sure the kids are absolutely thrilled to be signing up for academic support while the pavement is melting.
JOLEEN: Shut up, Mark. Some of those programs are actually cool. They've got arts instruction and enrichment stuff for the TK through fifth graders. It's called the Summer Bridge program. It starts in June. I think it's better than letting them rot in front of a tablet for three months. Plus, we've got some actual talent in our schools. Did you hear about Jarrett Beets?
MARK: I did. He's the kid from Upland High who won that ACSA Every Student Succeeding Award. Resilience, perseverance, all that good stuff. Apparently, he had a pretty rough go of it and turned things around. It's actually a nice story, which is rare for this show. Usually, we're just talking about people getting arrested for shoplifting with their relatives.
JOLEEN: He's a great example of what happens when you actually put in the work. And the district had that big Black History Night back in February that was a massive success. A hundred percent graduation rate for the African American seniors last year too. That's actually impressive. I'll give them a pass on the summer school propaganda for that.
MARK: It's good to see some wins. But let's get back to what everyone really cares about. Eating and drinking. We've got to talk about Kings Brewing Company. They've been in downtown for about eight months now since they moved over from Rancho. I went there last week, and I've got thoughts.
JOLEEN: Let me guess, you hated the music? They're going for that 'Nashville vibe' with the live stage and the roll-up door. I think it's a hell of a lot better than that sad old bar that used to be there. And they've got the Crazy Gringo BBQ inside now. Tell me you didn't like the BBQ, and I'll officially call you a liar.
MARK: The BBQ was fine, Joleen. It was good. But they've got these beer slushies they call Frosé. I'm sorry, I'm a grown man. I don't want my alcohol served like a 7-Eleven treat. I had something called the Upland Pulse, which was okay, but I feel like I'm drinking a neon sign. Although, I have to admit, the atmosphere is a big step up for Second Avenue.
JOLEEN: You're such a prick. Those slushies are exactly what people need when it's ninety-seven degrees out. They've got peanut butter and marshmallow flavors too. It's supposed to be fun, Mark. Fun. That's a concept you might want to look up. And the owners sold their family home to start the place! That's some serious balls. I respect the hustle.
MARK: I'll respect it more when they have a drink that doesn't require a spoon. But hey, it's better than another empty storefront. Let's check in on the Highlanders. Sports season is in full swing, and today is actually a big day for the high school. We've got Boys Golf and Boys Tennis both taking on Los Osos at 3:15.
JOLEEN: Los Osos is always such a pain in the ass. I hope our boys crush them. And tomorrow, we've got the volleyball match against Claremont. That's always a fun rivalry. There's also some choral showcase thing happening tomorrow night at the auditorium. If you like teenagers singing in harmony instead of screaming at each other on TikTok, that's your spot.
MARK: I'll stick to the screaming, thanks. But seriously, the sports scene is busy. Baseball has some away games at Troy tomorrow too. It's a lot of activity for a week where most of us are just trying to find a patch of shade that isn't occupied by a homeless person or a very angry cat.
JOLEEN: We should probably talk about the weekend. If you can survive until Friday, there's a spring garden tour happening. It's mostly in Redlands and Riverside, but it's close enough. It's for people who want to look at plants that haven't been killed by the drought yet. I'm thinking about going just to see what a green leaf looks like in person.
MARK: You'll probably just get heatstroke in a stranger's backyard, Joleen. But if you're into that, go for it. For the rest of us, the weekend is probably going to be more about avoiding the construction. That thirteen-million-dollar project on Foothill is still going strong. They're working between Benson and Euclid, and it's a goddamn nightmare.
JOLEEN: It's supposed to last until August. Every time I drive through there, I feel like my car is going to vibrate into pieces. They're doing 'asphalt grinding' and 'roadway resurfacing'. It's more like 'car-breaking' and 'sanity-testing'. And they're doing a lot of it at night too, so if you live nearby, I'm sure the sound of drilling and hammering is just lovely for your sleep schedule.
MARK: At least we've got the Metro A Line extension groundwork starting this year. The Gold Line is finally crawling toward Claremont. They finished the Pomona section back in 2025, and now 2026 is the year of 'groundwork'. Which is just another way of saying more trucks and more orange cones for the next four years.
JOLEEN: Whatever. Maybe by the time it's finished in 2028 or whatever, we'll actually be able to take a train out of this heat trap. But let's look at the real estate market. If you're looking to buy a house in Upland right now, you'd better have a very large bag of money and zero fear of debt.
MARK: The median sale price is around eight hundred twenty-nine thousand dollars. Up over four percent from last year. And it's still a seller's market. Homes are selling in about twenty-six to forty-eight days. I saw a house on Euclid sell for nine hundred thirty thousand on March 9th. For a four-bedroom? In this economy?
JOLEEN: Who are these people? I want to know who is looking at a three-quarter-million-dollar price tag and saying, 'Yeah, I'll take it, as long as it's within earshot of the Foothill construction'. It's insane. Even the rents are sitting at twenty-seven hundred a month. I could live in a much nicer place for that, but I guess I'm addicted to the smell of smog and the sound of the 210.
MARK: It's the Upland charm, Joleen. You can't put a price on that. Well, actually, you can, and it's eight hundred and twenty-nine thousand dollars. If you want to move here, just be prepared for the fact that you're paying a premium to live in a place where the weather forecast looks like a countdown to a forest fire. Speaking of which, let's look at the rest of the week.
JOLEEN: It's going to stay hot as hell through Friday. Highs of ninety-eight tomorrow and Friday. We don't even get a break for the weekend. Saturday it drops to ninety-one, which I guess is 'cool' by comparison. Sunday it's eighty-six. So, by Monday, when it's eighty-five, we might actually be able to stop sweating for five minutes.
MARK: It's a new moon tonight too, so at least it'll be dark while you're roasting. I don't know, Joleen. I feel like this city is testing us. Between the broken chargers, the broken roads, and the record-breaking heat, it's like Upland is trying to see how much we can take before we all move to Idaho.
JOLEEN: Idaho is full of potatoes and boredom, Mark. I'll take the heat and the craft beer slushies any day. At least here we have things to bitch about on a podcast. Speaking of which, if you actually like listening to us complain, you should probably subscribe and comment. Tell us how much you hate the heat or which pothole on Foothill is your favorite.
MARK: You can reach us at upland at the happening network dot com. We love hearing from you, even if it's just to tell me I'm a cynical asshole. I already know that, but it's nice to have it confirmed by the public. We're part of The Happening Network, and we'll be back next week to tell you more about why this city is simultaneously the best and worst place on Earth.
JOLEEN: Mostly the best. Except for the dickheads who don't use their blinkers. Stay cool, Upland. Or at least try not to melt into a puddle of despair on the sidewalk. Drink some water, stay in the shade, and don't forget to like and subscribe before your phone overheats and explodes in your hand.
MARK: That's a wrap for today. Go find some AC and stay off the roads if you can. It's a mess out there, but hey, it's our mess. Catch you next time.