Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Lucky chases balls like Harley and Kevin chase relevancy. Harley is obsessed with the Disney vlogging community. Would You Work as a Face Character at the Magic Kingdom? And voicing Harley Quinn’s kitties for fun and profit!.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
For 25 years, Kevin Smith has tried to make his beardless, dickless twin of a daughter Harley laugh in real life. Now he does it every week on a podcast.
00:00:23
Speaker 1: So you know, we got these two German shepherds and Lucky and Bertie, and recent you know, Bertie, you could throw a ball for a thousand balls, she'll try to catch him.
00:00:34
Speaker 2: She's very athletic.
00:00:35
Speaker 1: Lucky the mom older, wider, you know, not so much big, but is smart enough. German Shepherds like second smartest breed of dogs, smart enough to pick up on like the one with the ball gets attention, like whenever that Bertie grabs a ball, they fucking go out of their minds.
00:00:56
Speaker 2: So Lucky started like picking.
00:00:58
Speaker 1: Up balls and we were like, oh my god. So, you know, her picking up the ball was sweet enough and engaging enough, but then I wanted to see if she would like go run for it, and naturally Bertie's ready to constantly run for it. So we distract Bertie, let send her in a different direction. And then I took the ball from Lucky and just slow. I didn't whip it like I do for Bertie, just slow rolled it toward the bathroom, and Lucky had this joyous burst of childlike enthusiasm where you saw the puppy insider, you saw the birdie inside Lucky, you really did, and she ran for it. And since she's much bigger, her run is like kind of posed and she's holding back because she may go through a waddling.
00:01:54
Speaker 3: That's what it is.
00:01:55
Speaker 4: She was absolutely waddling.
00:01:57
Speaker 1: And so the sound that I had for it whenever I watch her.
00:02:02
Speaker 2: Do it, she was this like a baby, not knowing.
00:02:10
Speaker 1: If it's having fun, of course, but now she's like, she's way into it, Like you could throw the ball for a while for her, and she's like and every once in a while, like now she'll start to hold off too. If you try to take out of her mouth.
00:02:25
Speaker 4: She's like, yeah, she's she's so smart she is, or if she likes it or not, or if she's just doing it, if she's if she's really devising a plan to get our attention.
00:02:39
Speaker 1: This answers a deeper question, how much of anything we do in life is us just doing it or us trying to get attention.
00:02:48
Speaker 4: A certain response?
00:02:51
Speaker 1: So luck, He's like, look in my eyes, my German eyes, and fucking see your empty selves, you entertainers, vacuous guffs that need to be filled with affection from strangers.
00:03:05
Speaker 2: You're gonna fucking give me?
00:03:09
Speaker 1: Oh God, I watch you both toward fame every fucking day.
00:03:16
Speaker 5: That is just us every day.
00:03:22
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's so true.
00:03:24
Speaker 6: Like everybody has their own bitch, everybody has their owe.
00:03:28
Speaker 7: That's that's mine. Think about that. That will give you the edge. Every fucking self tape. You send it in right before you do it, you know, back in the in the in the fun when we were kids. I guess it was on the Brady Bunch. It was an episode of Brady Bunch where they were like, in order to not be nervous in front of the class, like picture everybody in their underwear or whatever. So it's like a trope that's run through teeth.
00:03:57
Speaker 8: But that feels like the modern day version of it.
00:04:04
Speaker 5: Filming before after I do this.
00:04:06
Speaker 2: You do it.
00:04:07
Speaker 9: Well, what you do is before you do the audition.
00:04:12
Speaker 1: You go, you lucky it because then you realize I am but a dog chasing a ball.
00:04:21
Speaker 4: It's real grounding.
00:04:22
Speaker 9: You give the performance.
00:04:26
Speaker 4: Do I include that when I send it in?
00:04:31
Speaker 10: Yeah?
00:04:31
Speaker 1: If I'm the director and I'm like, everybody, come look at the process.
00:04:40
Speaker 2: Acting is like a job at choice.
00:04:42
Speaker 1: Check this choice to include or fucking stilling exercise.
00:04:47
Speaker 2: I don't know, check this?
00:04:48
Speaker 3: Who watches.
00:04:50
Speaker 11: Oh my god?
00:04:51
Speaker 9: Oh could you imagine that coming at you in the night. Anyway, let's put her in the horror movie.
00:04:57
Speaker 4: If they ask, I'll be like, oh I, I didn't know that was in there. But truly it was a plan that I had all along, just like how Lucky has her plan to get them to pay attention.
00:05:08
Speaker 3: That's true.
00:05:09
Speaker 2: I'm telling you we are. We are lucky, lucky as.
00:05:11
Speaker 1: Usue and everybody out there.
00:05:15
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear it.
00:05:16
Speaker 1: Yes, we're as entertainers were easy to point out and be like a fucking sad pieces of ship, but everybody is lucky chasing some form of ball.
00:05:25
Speaker 3: To some degree.
00:05:26
Speaker 12: At the end of the day, just be as happy as that.
00:05:29
Speaker 2: Fuck that's the key to life.
00:05:31
Speaker 1: Because again, when she does it, she's like, and you know, if.
00:05:38
Speaker 2: That's Lucky smile.
00:05:41
Speaker 9: That's the happiest I think I've ever seen her. Even when she gets pets, she's very kind of, you know, very melancholy.
00:05:47
Speaker 2: She has the look of the blues about her.
00:05:49
Speaker 4: She really does.
00:05:50
Speaker 9: She had a life, like I'm telling you, she's gone through. If we could give.
00:05:54
Speaker 2: Her fucking power of speech for an hour and be like, what happened to you?
00:05:57
Speaker 1: I wish she'd be like, oh my god, I was if I fucking come from a war torn country and you're like what.
00:06:04
Speaker 8: She's like, it's called America, Like, don't use your voice to be in the ass. But she's do some ship and at the end of the day, like you can see it, and they're very so flaxed. She ain't just playing like her way of playing you is if you're looking at her, she'll flop on her side and make you kind of come.
00:06:27
Speaker 4: To her and look pathetic and ship and it works, and it works every time.
00:06:31
Speaker 1: Them eyes belie a fucking life of like, oh I've seen some real ship.
00:06:35
Speaker 5: So she's just so happy, now, wouldn't you be?
00:06:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, she has the best life.
00:06:44
Speaker 3: We were talking about the Peanuts fest at.
00:06:48
Speaker 2: That's very Farm.
00:06:48
Speaker 1: That's very Farm, which I'm severely attempted to go to.
00:06:53
Speaker 3: I'm a massive Peanuts fan.
00:06:56
Speaker 2: I would really like to go together.
00:06:58
Speaker 1: Seriously, totally ago, I'll buy things, please please. But they Harley was showing me pictures and they have the Peanuts characters, but the way like you know they have them at Disney World where there's big costumes, but the Peanuts characters are even bigger than the Disney characters, and they're also made of this weird material.
00:07:26
Speaker 2: Yeah, they look soft like a felt so.
00:07:31
Speaker 1: But I was looking at and they stand. They show photos of them next to like living people who aren't wearing those suits. It looks so fucking strange.
00:07:39
Speaker 13: Well, because at Disney, if there's like a human character, sometimes they have the suits, the full body costumes. Put a lot of them a face characters.
00:07:53
Speaker 3: What do you mean face characters?
00:07:54
Speaker 2: Like a woman dressed up as a princess and it's her face instead of a princess head?
00:08:03
Speaker 3: Is that a term of art? Face?
00:08:06
Speaker 2: That's a face character?
00:08:07
Speaker 3: Where'd you learn this?
00:08:09
Speaker 2: The Disney flocks?
00:08:10
Speaker 3: I watch the Disney flocks. Let's talk about them, Harley. Whenever you go over.
00:08:16
Speaker 1: Harley's house, like her TV's on and it's YouTube, and what she's watching is a series of Disney vlogs, you know, vlogs about fucking disney Land. Particularly now. It's not like some fucker's sitting at a desk going like I really like Disney. It's some fucker with a camera walking around Disney like a fucking dead specter of a child. Just one of those cameras on a gimbal, just fucking like caspering it through the fucking park's on them. Sometimes sometimes they turn the camera and they're like wow.
00:08:54
Speaker 3: Sometimes they talk, but generally.
00:08:56
Speaker 2: Like they just walk and like, no, they're talking the whole time. Hmm.
00:09:01
Speaker 3: Sometimes POV.
00:09:03
Speaker 1: I guess it would appeal to like video game culture, right, like because of those POV games like First Person Shooter and Ship.
00:09:09
Speaker 13: There are some that are POV no commentary and then some you mean, it's just.
00:09:15
Speaker 2: Wordless and then just walk around the park. How creepy is that?
00:09:18
Speaker 3: Shiit?
00:09:19
Speaker 1: Like, honestly, you if you get John Carpenter to put a score on your.
00:09:25
Speaker 3: Shit would be fucking haunting, to say the least.
00:09:29
Speaker 1: So she watches these all these blogs and like subscribes to them and ship like that, and views the hosts like their fucking rock stars and ship.
00:09:40
Speaker 2: Oh my god, can I watch them all?
00:09:42
Speaker 3: Like one day she was watching was the one with.
00:09:45
Speaker 2: Peter Ordinary Adventures, this.
00:09:47
Speaker 1: One called Ordinary Adventures, and it's playing and I look up and I'm like, fucking Peter Shierta, And she's like, what do you mean watch this? And I was like, no, I have no idea what this is, I said, but I know or Peter created a slash film. I went to see Dark Knight with him, and it was as if I was like, oh, yeah, I know fucking Courtney Love.
00:10:10
Speaker 3: We went high school together.
00:10:11
Speaker 13: It's not that it's not jad like crazy woh, it's not as crazy as Corney Love.
00:10:20
Speaker 4: But it just it's it's an exciting notion. It was I have a connection to these people. I watch how crazy.
00:10:31
Speaker 1: I was like, this is like the dudes. As far as I knew the dude's side hustle, like, it wasn't even his like main gig, his man gig used to be Slash.
00:10:39
Speaker 2: I sold it though he did.
00:10:40
Speaker 3: But I knew him from that.
00:10:42
Speaker 1: You knew him from like his acclaimed channel, Yeah where he's from center, like when he was doing Slash film. You know his name, of course, but like it wasn't like constant video of him and stuff like that. But this show is just credicated on him and his lady waltzing around Disney. Right, you look at you, You're like, I will know. I'm going to hold a civil tongue on all this. My heroes, I am marcket It.
00:11:06
Speaker 3: I just needed to be explained to the hero.
00:11:08
Speaker 13: Though the hero of all heroes is fresh baked he is a good show.
00:11:16
Speaker 2: Bad show.
00:11:18
Speaker 3: Oh, he's the one that's a bad show, Disney bad show.
00:11:21
Speaker 2: If there's something that doesn't look good, he.
00:11:23
Speaker 3: Says bad show, but does say a good show.
00:11:27
Speaker 2: I've heard him say it, but he never said. I'm like, i've heard him say.
00:11:32
Speaker 1: You imagine he would say bad show only because he uses the term good show.
00:11:40
Speaker 2: I wouldn't agree. Bad show is its own.
00:11:45
Speaker 13: It's like without what is like Disney, You're doing a bad job.
00:11:50
Speaker 1: Because that's that's Harley had said one day she was a bad show and I was like, that's hysterical?
00:11:55
Speaker 2: Is it from?
00:11:56
Speaker 3: And she was like, that was from that faem.
00:12:00
Speaker 2: He is Disneyland fresh Baga, He's Disneyland.
00:12:05
Speaker 1: He walks around and does he is he turn the camera on him or both.
00:12:11
Speaker 2: He does a weekly construction update. I watch everyone weekly news about the parks.
00:12:19
Speaker 13: Whoa the California parks, some of them the state of Disneyland ones where he walks around to every attraction and looks and is like, this looks like thirty minutes, but the thing says the way time says forty five, but he's like, I would say this is more like thirty minutes and it's like a fifty long minute long video.
00:12:40
Speaker 3: Are you kidding me?
00:12:41
Speaker 2: Oh?
00:12:42
Speaker 3: Are they? I guess they can't. They don't care, is.
00:12:48
Speaker 2: My mamally ping? What an noises?
00:12:50
Speaker 3: That that was? That was loud enough to be a ship?
00:12:54
Speaker 14: That was?
00:12:57
Speaker 3: What? What is like? They couldn't crack down on it if if they wanted to, because you know, fucking their cameras everywhere.
00:13:07
Speaker 1: But you can't go to disney Land or World and not whip out a fucking camera. But I would imagine they're cool with the floggers because, like you, they're good all the time. They're good. So you've never seen Disney like show up in the Disney Security Disney cop and be like come with us.
00:13:23
Speaker 2: No, they wouldn't. They wouldn't it. Well, fresh baked, get your fucking ass.
00:13:30
Speaker 15: Over here, going to Disney jail.
00:13:35
Speaker 1: He's like the fresh pake it is Baked is in Disneyland jail.
00:13:41
Speaker 2: That would be that that would shake the world.
00:13:45
Speaker 1: Ordinary Adventures, Your extraordinary ass is over here.
00:13:51
Speaker 3: And good in the park.
00:13:53
Speaker 2: Everyone would would revolt.
00:13:55
Speaker 3: How many subscribers have which one? I mean? Do you know the subscrib were kind of either?
00:14:01
Speaker 2: I think that Ordinary Adventures is above like three hundred k.
00:14:05
Speaker 3: Now, that's impressive.
00:14:06
Speaker 2: I recall them saying it in a video. That's impressive, I believe.
00:14:10
Speaker 13: I recall them being in Hawaii and I'll sing that they had that.
00:14:16
Speaker 3: What was it? What were they doing in Hawaii? Is there a Disney thing in Hawaii?
00:14:19
Speaker 13: Yeah, there's a Disney hotel in Hawaii called the Alani.
00:14:23
Speaker 1: It's pretty cool. So we've heard how extensive. Well let's go back to the term of art face character. So face character means Cinderella and she's not wearing a big ass Cinderella head. She's an actress or she's an actor who is dressed like Cinderella and her face is the face of Cinderella. Like when we were at Disney, you know, when we went with Mamay for her fucking of course whatever they call it.
00:15:01
Speaker 2: Did you forget the word birthday?
00:15:03
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I just derived here from the planet Venus, only learning your language.
00:15:08
Speaker 2: Birthdays.
00:15:12
Speaker 1: When we were there, we took pictures with uh, you know, fucking Frozen and Elson.
00:15:19
Speaker 2: You've never seen Frozen and you.
00:15:22
Speaker 1: Were like, but then Harley started telling me the story of Frozen. I was real emotional.
00:15:26
Speaker 3: I was like, that's.
00:15:27
Speaker 4: Really cried the ride, this movie you've never seen it. Shed a lot of tears over Frozen the Ride.
00:15:39
Speaker 3: Let It Go.
00:15:41
Speaker 2: They were face characters, and what do you call the other ones?
00:15:48
Speaker 3: Masked characters?
00:15:49
Speaker 1: I don't think it's called what they call them when you wear the suit, don't.
00:15:56
Speaker 2: I don't know character? You guess what I guess? I guess. I don't know, all right, So I'm not crazy.
00:16:08
Speaker 3: I don't know.
00:16:08
Speaker 2: Every time.
00:16:11
Speaker 1: You are an actor, would you would you ever be a face character at Disney?
00:16:20
Speaker 2: I've definitely considered it, have you really for sure?
00:16:23
Speaker 3: Where is that in the.
00:16:27
Speaker 1: Like you're a you're a fan, But where is that for people who don't give a fuck about Disney? Like, Like, if somebody was like I don't give a ship about Disney, like be a fucking face character at Disneyland, I'd rather fucking stand on Oliver Pullvards.
00:16:44
Speaker 3: Dirty Elmo, alease dirty Elmo's faces?
00:16:51
Speaker 2: Please police?
00:16:53
Speaker 1: Or is it like, well, that's good, that's a good gig.
00:16:58
Speaker 3: Who was an actor in a Disney production?
00:17:02
Speaker 2: Really?
00:17:03
Speaker 3: Would you consider being a face character?
00:17:12
Speaker 2: In about five years?
00:17:14
Speaker 4: Acting doesn't pan out and music doesn't pan out on filmmaker doesn't pan out.
00:17:21
Speaker 3: Yes, So it's not a first choice.
00:17:24
Speaker 2: No, I think I would like my other things to work out first.
00:17:30
Speaker 3: What if.
00:17:32
Speaker 1: Disney was what if Disney was like, look, we saw Yogas and they're like, first.
00:17:44
Speaker 3: Off, you poor son of a bitch. You know.
00:17:47
Speaker 1: I read a review that said it was tantamount to child abuse.
00:17:51
Speaker 3: I agree, All of us are Disney agree, and we feel bad.
00:17:56
Speaker 1: And so because we know you like Disney so fucking much, we you know, we we thought like, maybe we'll let the fucking you know kid have a crack at be in a face character. But then they're like, we deep dived into your work and we saw you in that fucking mo was that movie with.
00:18:18
Speaker 3: In New York?
00:18:19
Speaker 2: All these small moments?
00:18:21
Speaker 3: Are you in all these small moments?
00:18:23
Speaker 1: We saw you in Quentin Tarantino's movie, Like we saw you in a Harold and Kumar picture and you're like.
00:18:33
Speaker 3: Harold and like yeah reboot, Like like oh yeah, whatever.
00:18:38
Speaker 1: Anyway, we fucking think you're a dynamite actress. So we're prepared to offer you a contract.
00:18:46
Speaker 4: I like it now.
00:18:48
Speaker 16: Both times we've done this, you're throwing out what I would agree and what it would take for me to agree to a job show what it would take for me to agree to a job.
00:19:03
Speaker 2: I think the Mamally story.
00:19:05
Speaker 3: You know what it would take for you do a job? Whore bucket's in here, all right.
00:19:11
Speaker 1: So so they were gonna it's just like in the fucking forties and fifties in Hollywood. They want to make you a contract player. Wow, their first contract face character. Wow, So are you interested to begin the discussion? Need go no further if you're not into the idea at all?
00:19:32
Speaker 2: What right now in my life?
00:19:35
Speaker 17: Yeah?
00:19:35
Speaker 3: Right now?
00:19:36
Speaker 1: No, first ever contract player. They're like, do you know how much press this is going to go? They're like, we're making this a thing.
00:19:43
Speaker 2: How long is it for the contract?
00:19:51
Speaker 3: One year?
00:19:52
Speaker 2: No short, I do it for like a week.
00:20:00
Speaker 3: You don't know. That's all the particulars.
00:20:02
Speaker 2: Okay, so they're.
00:20:04
Speaker 3: Gonna blow out the press man.
00:20:06
Speaker 1: They're making a big announcement fucking like entertainment Tonight's coming to cover it.
00:20:16
Speaker 3: As it fell out of the lips, was.
00:20:21
Speaker 2: Well, fucking I'll wear my best pearls.
00:20:24
Speaker 10: Fuck.
00:20:27
Speaker 3: What would you like to be there? Oh?
00:20:30
Speaker 2: Well, I just Jared will be there. What I'm surprised I have?
00:20:40
Speaker 1: I'm just checking if it's too quick and when fucking you jumped a mile, I went like this.
00:20:47
Speaker 3: I was like, fucking skittish jumping child. Who are your parents?
00:20:57
Speaker 2: What happened to me? Really? Fuck well?
00:21:00
Speaker 3: I went from reach of my drink? All right?
00:21:07
Speaker 4: So, oh, I have I need to know the specifics. Who is it? Who am I playing?
00:21:19
Speaker 2: Depends on the princess slash character?
00:21:22
Speaker 5: And where in the park is it a meet and greet?
00:21:27
Speaker 2: Am I walking around?
00:21:28
Speaker 3: It's like being Miss America. It's a year long gig.
00:21:32
Speaker 2: So I'm just in a parade.
00:21:33
Speaker 1: No, you're you fucking you do the meet and greets, you walk around, You're definitely in the parade, and there's a live stage show.
00:21:44
Speaker 2: They don't even not bad right now?
00:21:50
Speaker 3: All right? So Disney comes to you and they're like, we want you to be who's your favorite Disney princess?
00:21:58
Speaker 2: Wow?
00:22:01
Speaker 3: Well they don't say that. I'm just asking, Yeah, I.
00:22:02
Speaker 2: Know, I'm thinking of it. Run the list my favorite princess. HM, maybe Jasmine.
00:22:17
Speaker 17: M.
00:22:19
Speaker 3: I don't know if the optics would you playing Jazz.
00:22:25
Speaker 2: I wasn't even thinking of me playing, And I was.
00:22:27
Speaker 3: Just I don't know if.
00:22:30
Speaker 2: Culture lately, but.
00:22:33
Speaker 4: I wasn't thinking about I was just simply thinking of my favorite princess.
00:22:39
Speaker 2: So sorry, take to play The white ones are reporting.
00:22:45
Speaker 1: Here's your chance, here's your chance as an actor to redefine well that character, because that's they're going to give you freedom with the character, like that character is yours for a year.
00:22:55
Speaker 2: My choice would be what if her don't.
00:23:00
Speaker 3: Get all Rachel Ziggler about it, because people get really shit real fast. I won't.
00:23:10
Speaker 2: I won't when they offer me my year long contract character?
00:23:14
Speaker 3: Remember, so which one?
00:23:17
Speaker 2: I would say?
00:23:18
Speaker 13: What if I don't play a princess, but I play Alice from Alice in Wonderland.
00:23:27
Speaker 1: Hey, okay, but be discussion. I guess she doesn't count as she's not a princess. She's just a girl lost in Wonderland.
00:23:38
Speaker 2: Thank you for those who were like, who is this?
00:23:42
Speaker 4: She's just a girl, She's not a princess.
00:23:47
Speaker 1: Saturday Night at nine in Wonderland, the NBC movie of the Week.
00:23:54
Speaker 3: All right, you want to be Alice?
00:23:57
Speaker 2: Go ask ala.
00:24:00
Speaker 3: As I think shell.
00:24:02
Speaker 1: No, don't you know the Jefferson starship song White Rabbit.
00:24:06
Speaker 13: No, maybe I cann't recognize the fire.
00:24:12
Speaker 2: And drugs and they put it in every Vietnam movie.
00:24:15
Speaker 1: Jesus it's uh Gray Slick Jefferson airplane.
00:24:22
Speaker 3: It's called White Rabbit, and it's a song.
00:24:23
Speaker 2: About I think I do know. I maybe just said it from maybe.
00:24:30
Speaker 1: I wasn't singing right, Like, look, I know that song if it's sung correctly, I.
00:24:37
Speaker 2: Know this other song.
00:24:38
Speaker 16: I'm not sure what the fuck you were doing.
00:24:41
Speaker 10: Trying to think of me.
00:24:43
Speaker 2: Anyone makes shoes. Okay, I see what you're going. Yes, the hands help.
00:24:56
Speaker 4: The hands absolutely cleared that up for me.
00:25:01
Speaker 18: A game.
00:25:03
Speaker 3: Anything fully on the same page.
00:25:10
Speaker 1: All right, I get to be I'm glad we established that finally. All right, so you get to be Alice. The offer is you can't do anything else for a year. Okay, you can't take other jobs. Even if Quentin calls and he's like Heyan, You're like, I'm sorry, I took.
00:25:33
Speaker 3: A contracts this great. This is a great studio. What are you making You're like, well, it's not the studio.
00:25:39
Speaker 1: I'm the first contract player Alice in Disneyland Park.
00:25:45
Speaker 3: That's cool because it's gonna be huge.
00:25:48
Speaker 1: They're gonna blow out that announcement, man, because I've never done it before.
00:25:51
Speaker 13: Wait, so it is like me as like my name's advertised or it's swept on the rug.
00:25:58
Speaker 1: No, your name is advertised, oh wow, oh okay posters when you first walk into the park.
00:26:03
Speaker 13: Oh then honestly, yeah, yeah, all right.
00:26:09
Speaker 3: They are paying.
00:26:10
Speaker 19: Maybe like three months though nope, one year, one year, half a million dollars.
00:26:22
Speaker 3: Gobsmacked. You are.
00:26:25
Speaker 2: Half a million for one year to be Alice your favorite character. Yeah, I don't think it could pass that up.
00:26:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's pretty good.
00:26:31
Speaker 13: I think I'm gonna I'm gonna have to accept that one, unlike Smittian Son.
00:26:35
Speaker 2: All except, so's fair enough.
00:26:38
Speaker 1: Now you uh, you're just signing your who's your who's your representation? Yes, you have a lawyer, right, yeah, all right, there's a contract and they signed the contract. You know, the lawyer goes to the contract and he's just like everything checks out, but there is a small thing that says like I don't know.
00:27:05
Speaker 10: What is it?
00:27:06
Speaker 2: Now?
00:27:08
Speaker 3: That what is it?
00:27:10
Speaker 1: There? Before you it gets to be Alice? And they want a training period?
00:27:20
Speaker 2: How long?
00:27:21
Speaker 3: One week?
00:27:22
Speaker 15: Okay, and so you're going to be in the park in character for a week, learn the ropes, what's happening?
00:27:38
Speaker 1: Because while you're while you're in training, you don't get to be Alice. You gotta be a chasure cat with.
00:27:48
Speaker 4: A mask in the suit if it's if it's never been worn before.
00:27:54
Speaker 3: Well, are you one of those people to be scheped out if you have something?
00:27:59
Speaker 2: Is that right? That's your line?
00:28:01
Speaker 3: Oh my god to cry?
00:28:05
Speaker 1: Really well, wait, what part wearing someone else's clothes or just the suit or what what are you skeping on? I gotta know specifically?
00:28:22
Speaker 3: You really alarmed.
00:28:24
Speaker 4: Because I just had thought about it before wearing the suit, putting some.
00:28:28
Speaker 2: Of the mask on and somebody else that have had it on before that there what your face and the.
00:28:35
Speaker 1: Thing that freaks you out, not like your crotch in the outfit where many crotches.
00:28:42
Speaker 2: That's more alarmed looking forward to that part either.
00:28:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, being got it for a week.
00:28:52
Speaker 2: Before, is it fresh? And you know how you got a.
00:28:55
Speaker 1: Bowling on and you put your give your shoes back and they spray of the shoes as they do the mask.
00:29:00
Speaker 20: No, no, no, no, no, no no no.
00:29:06
Speaker 1: The person who wore the mask before you was Timothy shallow May.
00:29:14
Speaker 20: Okay, first of all, was he taking a day job or what he is?
00:29:26
Speaker 3: Become of the contra prince sharp? Of course?
00:29:30
Speaker 2: Oh and that was his.
00:29:31
Speaker 3: His training he had to wear the suit.
00:29:35
Speaker 4: Timmy Shaw isn't like, I know, you're not, like.
00:29:43
Speaker 1: When you think about just wearing the suit after some random gross But Timothy, shall you look, he's pretty clear.
00:29:52
Speaker 13: I feel like he's clean. I feel like I could trust No, Actually, I.
00:29:58
Speaker 3: Know you spell Kylie Jenner. Wow.
00:30:01
Speaker 2: I can't believe you know that, bro.
00:30:03
Speaker 3: I'm fucking dialed in.
00:30:06
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:30:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know it's that. So you do the week as a cheshire Cat, then it gets to Alice for a year.
00:30:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you bring into the character that hasn't been there before? Like, you are given a rare opportunity, and it's so rare that Disney is not saying you got to stick to the fucking lines. You got to beat this, blah blah. They're like, you can redefine Alice any way you want.
00:30:37
Speaker 17: Wow.
00:30:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, because they want you to treat it like they hired you because you're an actor, and they're like, you're acting so like, we want you to bring Alice to life. We want you to bring to Alice what you're brought to Colleen.
00:30:50
Speaker 2: Of course I would have I have an idea.
00:30:55
Speaker 3: Fucking what was her name? And cruel Summer told.
00:31:02
Speaker 2: Me what was her name? And crool summer.
00:31:04
Speaker 3: Don't let me try to think them.
00:31:12
Speaker 2: No no no no no no.
00:31:17
Speaker 21: No no no no no no, it's fine. I'll just go home and cry.
00:31:32
Speaker 3: Tonight, pose my character's name and catcher release.
00:31:35
Speaker 2: I knew you were gonna say that.
00:31:36
Speaker 3: I don't know, just give me if it wasn't a.
00:31:39
Speaker 1: M Meredith, Meredith, Milicent.
00:31:49
Speaker 3: What was it Mallory Mallory fuck? I mean not her name was Mallory fuck?
00:31:55
Speaker 2: But of course.
00:31:59
Speaker 1: That I got the part. We played Mallory. Well, I said it would always be supportive get up. Well yeah, yeah, yeah. They want you to bring that Mallory edge to Alice.
00:32:25
Speaker 2: So what are you going to say?
00:32:27
Speaker 13: So if we're chatting, well, I would love to see like a cool edgy Alice, so like what like a like a grunge Alice, But that wouldn't.
00:32:42
Speaker 2: Be you know what I would love? No, I don't like a Halloween.
00:32:47
Speaker 13: Time Alice like Alice after Dark.
00:32:52
Speaker 1: It's like a but Disney after so not like Alice and fish nets and fucking like wearinger cat I like you and.
00:33:00
Speaker 3: Ship like that.
00:33:01
Speaker 13: That's what I would love, but I don't think it would be acceptable a Disney.
00:33:04
Speaker 3: You would like to do to Alice's eyes what you do to your eyes?
00:33:09
Speaker 2: Yeah?
00:33:11
Speaker 1: People like, well, I mean Alice's a little girl. Oh I forgot she's that's.
00:33:18
Speaker 3: Right, you got to play. Yeah, they're like, they're like, according.
00:33:21
Speaker 2: To she's never a little girl when it's played by Alice is nine.
00:33:25
Speaker 3: You need to be nine years old for the next year.
00:33:29
Speaker 13: Here's my proposal to make Alice my own Yeah all right, she carries around her cat, Dinah. She carries around a real cat.
00:33:40
Speaker 2: Okay, her own Dinah.
00:33:41
Speaker 3: Okay period.
00:33:42
Speaker 2: Yeah that's said.
00:33:46
Speaker 13: She was in the park walking around with fucking Dina in a basket, Dinah in a basket, And.
00:33:54
Speaker 2: I would love my mind sedated because you know, a well behaved one.
00:33:59
Speaker 3: Yeah, show me where this fucking well behaved cat's coming for them? What colors? Dina in the white?
00:34:06
Speaker 2: Orange?
00:34:07
Speaker 3: Orange?
00:34:08
Speaker 2: She's orange and white?
00:34:09
Speaker 1: Like, do you have a cat that approximates that? Or would you have to get an actor cat? I have to get an actor what if? Okay, I like this, So you get the actor cat, you meet the actor cat, the actor cat. I hate you so much, just like, yeah, I could totally see you fucking rocking Alice if you have an Alice voice.
00:34:31
Speaker 3: What would your Alice voice be? Is that your Alice voice?
00:34:39
Speaker 2: Oh my god?
00:34:41
Speaker 3: He's like, we'll take that.
00:34:43
Speaker 13: We think about have to Also, part of the contract is that I have to have a voice coach for the.
00:34:51
Speaker 1: Accent, Like this, motherfucker the voice coady, Alice, what do you mean for the accent?
00:34:57
Speaker 3: She's she British?
00:34:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, is yes?
00:35:01
Speaker 1: In the cartoon she's yes, wow yeah, all right, Well let's hear let's hear something else.
00:35:11
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, I am yeah, that's my impression.
00:35:25
Speaker 3: Dude, I'm gonna close my eyes. No and action. Nope, I don't know if that sounds like a let's try a gun and take two and action.
00:35:37
Speaker 2: I'll do Carl's voice instead of you.
00:35:40
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
00:35:41
Speaker 1: Everybody give their pets voices and stuff, naturally, although I have a hard time voice in the Shepherds, you.
00:35:50
Speaker 2: Have a voice for Bird, I do.
00:35:53
Speaker 3: That's true, Lucky, it's Thursday.
00:35:56
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:35:58
Speaker 3: And then when she sat, he's like, hey, wacky, wicky and away and she's okay, wucky. But Harley gave voices to her cats that I I like, vehemently disagree with.
00:36:22
Speaker 1: Like, you know, everyone's entitled to see their pets personality and be like, this is what their voice would be like.
00:36:28
Speaker 3: But I think she's way off.
00:36:30
Speaker 2: You just don't know.
00:36:32
Speaker 3: Do his voice show them? This is this is meant to be a cat.
00:36:35
Speaker 2: Go ahead, hello, mommie please And if you saw this cat, that's not.
00:36:48
Speaker 14: What he told.
00:36:50
Speaker 2: Oh no, I love you, Oh no, I love you.
00:36:55
Speaker 1: Grandpa, nobody's grandpa.
00:36:59
Speaker 3: Why is he from the south? Why is he from your souse? He's just a bear.
00:37:05
Speaker 2: He's a bear. He's one of the country bears.
00:37:10
Speaker 3: Walk is a country bear.
00:37:12
Speaker 2: She really is that that cat needs girl. Why don't you love me like.
00:37:26
Speaker 3: That? Boy? Honestly, if you talk like that, I don't think I'd want to be around.
00:37:33
Speaker 2: So mean.
00:37:33
Speaker 3: That's my son to another cat's boys?
00:37:37
Speaker 2: Yea many is that that's Kyle?
00:37:41
Speaker 3: Why?
00:37:43
Speaker 2: Because there is a personality. She's like a perfect little princess.
00:37:47
Speaker 3: Because she's like Wendy.
00:37:48
Speaker 2: She she is, Yeah, she's Austin. She's like, you're so fucking Steepie, you just steepy. I hate you.
00:37:57
Speaker 11: I hate you.
00:37:58
Speaker 3: That's totally mamy. She plays you against each other. She about move.
00:38:07
Speaker 2: The relationship is complicated, Is that right?
00:38:09
Speaker 3: Yes?
00:38:10
Speaker 2: She thinks he's very stupid.
00:38:14
Speaker 3: And what does he say that?
00:38:16
Speaker 2: Won't you say? Oh, mommy, won't she said, Well me, moi how.
00:38:24
Speaker 3: She called me stupid? I feel that.
00:38:32
Speaker 4: I watched move fall listening today and it was so sad.
00:38:36
Speaker 22: Plummet it into the same my mom dig today has always happened to me telling.
00:38:45
Speaker 2: Your old soup.
00:38:46
Speaker 4: That wasn't the same moment I got my feet in your floor?
00:38:58
Speaker 10: What happened to me?
00:38:59
Speaker 3: My?
00:39:00
Speaker 2: Why not like the others to pick.
00:39:03
Speaker 4: Him up out of the sink? And then he was he ran, Then he got really hyper and was running through the but his feet were wet and so he kept slipping.
00:39:16
Speaker 3: It.
00:39:17
Speaker 2: Guess worse, I'm running away?
00:39:20
Speaker 3: You call clown?
00:39:24
Speaker 12: What?
00:39:25
Speaker 2: Who's fucking litter got ran over something?
00:39:29
Speaker 23: Oh my god?
00:39:31
Speaker 4: Some unhinged male person fucking My neighbor texted me and was like, I just saw the mail truck run over your box. And so the mail truck ran over my fucking litter box.
00:39:43
Speaker 2: What do you mean the little box like literally in a box is an Amazon box?
00:39:48
Speaker 3: Yes?
00:39:48
Speaker 2: And they fucking ran over Yes.
00:39:51
Speaker 11: And now there's like a.
00:39:57
Speaker 5: Literal was wanting running extremely low.
00:39:59
Speaker 4: We need that little fast.
00:40:01
Speaker 11: The lad man took away my poo, poo dirt.
00:40:03
Speaker 4: My maid ol maide all they only I was supposed to.
00:40:07
Speaker 3: Make a pool.
00:40:08
Speaker 11: I pitching it for a week.
00:40:10
Speaker 4: My maid was like, I'm gonna go try to scoop it up, and I was like, no, go to scoop that.
00:40:15
Speaker 17: Probably the middle of it, it was raining.
00:40:18
Speaker 11: It was raining, way I won't go pay pay in the wet letter.
00:40:24
Speaker 3: So what did you do?
00:40:29
Speaker 17: Civic minded?
00:40:31
Speaker 4: It was like on my side of the street, So you were like.
00:40:36
Speaker 11: It's just as that looks like.
00:40:39
Speaker 2: I left the letter? Yeah, what did you get new litter? Though I did?
00:40:44
Speaker 3: He reordered it?
00:40:45
Speaker 4: Where else would they know? I made puff go to the store and get it where else where else is moon gonna poo?
00:40:52
Speaker 17: Hopefully y'all learned a lesson. Pick up your fucking mail.
00:40:56
Speaker 2: Don't leave it out on the.
00:40:57
Speaker 11: Curve, Mommy, stop my life just walking poop and pa.
00:41:03
Speaker 22: Yeah.
00:41:04
Speaker 4: I also saw a video recently that was like five signs that your cat loves you. Moo exhibits all of them, but one of them is if they show you.
00:41:15
Speaker 3: Their butt, that's they trust you.
00:41:19
Speaker 2: They're like, I know you're not going to stick a finger in my ass, so look.
00:41:22
Speaker 11: Yeah, exactly that's really that.
00:41:24
Speaker 4: That's the logic behind it.
00:41:27
Speaker 3: I think every cat goes out of their way to hide their assholes. Man, they don't want to somebody.
00:41:31
Speaker 11: Running up and being like like, ah, Moon loves too, it's not sitting.
00:41:45
Speaker 3: Feels good. Wow, they gotta talk like me.
00:41:55
Speaker 4: Sounds stupid, mommies.
00:41:59
Speaker 3: He's sitting somewhere right now, under bed, going.
00:42:02
Speaker 22: My bay, stepping the Soon she's seen it, she sold what's my problem?
00:42:10
Speaker 10: Like the others. But I'm just like boom, Why I'm just a boo? Yes, I'm only a boom and I'm running around stepping and.
00:42:22
Speaker 2: Soon plays the stand up bass?
00:42:27
Speaker 3: Does it?
00:42:28
Speaker 10: Really?
00:42:28
Speaker 24: Yeah, be careful now, Oh well, chase the cat who gets his kiddy lot done.
00:42:49
Speaker 2: That's a really good impression of more.
00:42:52
Speaker 24: Who is the cat who's oh, we lots of fun, which can't do the other tip litter hats that your robot.
00:43:03
Speaker 3: It's the big move cat.
00:43:08
Speaker 5: That was a really, really, really good impression of the moon.
00:43:12
Speaker 2: I can't wait to show Bass.
00:43:13
Speaker 1: That was my weird A Yankovic version of arist Cats performed by performed by Move, which is the.
00:43:24
Speaker 25: Cat he always picks his eyes, which cat who never moves to fires to which cat do the others go, hay cat that your remot is the move bad cat.
00:43:42
Speaker 5: I'm blown away. You just said you had no musical talent talking.
00:43:47
Speaker 12: About my that I could drop a hot sixteen like that and shout that lyrics are fire.
00:43:51
Speaker 5: Those were fire lyrics and also fire bars, bars.
00:43:59
Speaker 17: Bars.
00:44:00
Speaker 12: Those were for your moose song.
00:44:02
Speaker 2: Would you like to hear the Wuckie?
00:44:03
Speaker 26: It's not so much yes, No, it's Birdie's Birdie the Birdie. Yeah, the Birdie breakdown is part of a song. That's the breakdown, right, you know what the breakdown isn't a song. It's like different than every other that was bands plaining to you.
00:44:19
Speaker 1: Okay, here's the bird Uh wait you have to imagine it's a rap fucking song.
00:44:28
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:44:29
Speaker 12: That's also like Birdie is old, dirty, old birdie bastard.
00:44:39
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, what what's what's her name?
00:44:45
Speaker 3: Mariah cares.
00:44:47
Speaker 2: A little bit? All is it fantasy?
00:44:49
Speaker 3: Is that.
00:44:57
Speaker 11: Wacky? Wacky?
00:45:03
Speaker 1: So she when she has the breakdown in the fucking song where he's like me and Mariah go back like baby pacifies.
00:45:12
Speaker 17: So her breakdown is I'm just your way to Wucky because I'm Wucky's puppy my name is Birto. Have you heard I wake to play with Rocky?
00:45:22
Speaker 27: Yeah?
00:45:26
Speaker 17: And then she goes sweet fantasy.
00:45:32
Speaker 10: In HEYV.
00:45:35
Speaker 11: With my wacky Mammy Wacky.
00:45:41
Speaker 3: She loves Walky.
00:45:44
Speaker 17: But he's so cool, and I loved to fight her.
00:45:47
Speaker 2: As she lives to fight.
00:45:49
Speaker 1: She looks up to Walkie but she wants to come she loves. She'll never be able to beat her because is like four times.
00:45:55
Speaker 13: What can bring the old old dirty bestard.
00:45:59
Speaker 6: Me and bird Brain, My bird and the bird Brain wound up on the Gravey train house living a once came from a chill sheltering eggs.
00:46:13
Speaker 2: Are pretty good on your feet, Thank you?
00:46:18
Speaker 11: Just like shut up, shut stupid. I hate yourself.
00:46:22
Speaker 17: You can't passively hate you half as men as we hate it.
00:46:25
Speaker 4: You can't.
00:46:26
Speaker 11: Isn't that passive? Those design to make me feel good? You stepped in the sep game, didn't you? Fucking stupid?
00:46:36
Speaker 17: Even even the tiny cat doesn't step in the seep tiny cat, we never step in the freaking seepy. You stepped off for fucking times and that happened? Did you slip in the seat this soup?
00:46:49
Speaker 11: I don't think you got my best interest?
00:46:51
Speaker 21: Her?
00:46:54
Speaker 22: She made that way mama when she talked like a city carri city care you come where I go from? Why her like Madonna? Big be not like Madonna moment?
00:47:10
Speaker 3: What about the other ones?
00:47:12
Speaker 2: Linus is like.
00:47:16
Speaker 3: Mommy, can you cuddle me please?
00:47:20
Speaker 15: Mommy?
00:47:21
Speaker 3: That's adorable.
00:47:22
Speaker 2: Can I have some food please, mommy?
00:47:26
Speaker 3: I'm hungry. Yes's adorable. I have no qualms with that one. And then what's the other one please?
00:47:33
Speaker 2: Voices like.
00:47:36
Speaker 3: I'm from New Jersey.
00:47:37
Speaker 2: I'm just thinking the New Jersey get because she is from New Jersey, and you hay Mammy, get me.
00:47:46
Speaker 3: I can die ham Mammy. All right.
00:47:49
Speaker 1: So then that's when Pixar comes calling and says, we like these cats voices that you do. We want you to voice these cats.
00:47:57
Speaker 2: Another job opportunity. Yes, yeah, absolutely.
00:48:04
Speaker 21: Right.
00:48:04
Speaker 3: I was training my life, like, we want you to play these cat boys.
00:48:11
Speaker 2: I would love to play a cat.
00:48:14
Speaker 27: An animated cat, an animated cat, live action cat, reanimated, not that I'm.
00:48:25
Speaker 2: Any more the live action cats.
00:48:32
Speaker 1: So they want you to do all four cat voices and they're going to build a feature around it.
00:48:37
Speaker 2: Oh my god, the best news of my life?
00:48:39
Speaker 3: Why why is it the best news of your life?
00:48:41
Speaker 2: Because all day long. I just talked talk to my cats and their voices anyways.
00:48:46
Speaker 1: Okay, so it doesn't matter who's making this cartoon, Like you're not biased to say, like.
00:48:51
Speaker 3: It better be Disney. It's Disney. Great.
00:48:53
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:48:54
Speaker 3: If it's not Disney, I don't care. Okay, it's being funded independently.
00:49:00
Speaker 2: Bye who.
00:49:03
Speaker 3: We don't know, But it doesn't matter. Movies get made right by who. You saw the designs for the cats. They're adorable.
00:49:11
Speaker 1: It's like picks are good and they love your voices and they built whole story around it.
00:49:18
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, what.
00:49:23
Speaker 3: Are you into it?
00:49:24
Speaker 10: Yeah?
00:49:25
Speaker 1: Sure, you want to give away these voices, these cute voices of your cats, signed away at a contract?
00:49:34
Speaker 21: What is it?
00:49:35
Speaker 1: Well, it's too late because you've signed them come true and now.
00:49:41
Speaker 3: You are the vocal store of Ku Kluck's cats.
00:49:54
Speaker 2: You're kidding, You're kidding, don't you dare?
00:50:01
Speaker 18: Oh my wa wasn't worth the money.
00:50:18
Speaker 14: It's all you roling the fire My mom my god, Oh my god, no, no, she laid you.
00:50:36
Speaker 11: Oh, they own our voices.
00:50:43
Speaker 3: The good news I don't think there is is that it's going to force you to come up with a new voice.
00:50:50
Speaker 2: For that canon.
00:51:03
Speaker 23: This has been a s podcast production, some podcast podcast using our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey kids, did you like what you just heard?
00:51:16
Speaker 3: Well, guess what.
00:51:16
Speaker 23: We've got tons more man thousands of hours of podcasts waiting for you at that kevinsmithclub dot com.
00:51:23
Speaker 2: Go sign up now