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Let's do this
hello, and welcome to another episode of the Meaningful Marketing Podcast. I'm your host, Chantal Gerardy, and today I have got Vanessa Larry Mitchell with me, and it is going to be a cracker of a show. Thank you so much for joining me.
You're welcome. Thanks for having me. It's very cool.
Very, very cool. So Vanessa Larry Mitchell, who are you?
What do you do?
Who am I? I am an enigma. No, I, I'm obviously a stand-up come- ... Well, not obviously- ... but you've seen my show. Um, so I tour a show called Teardrops on my Dildo, which I've been touring for five years, my original show, internationally and all over Australia. Um, and then I started a second show which I've now combined, so I'm performing a two-hour comedy show called Teardrops on my Dildo.
So the show is very much about the loose side of my life. You've seen it, you know, it gets pretty wild, super honest. Um, but I guess, you know, when you say, "Who am I?" That's the side of my, that's the side of me that I love portraying on stage, 'cause it's a side of me that I probably had to hide away. You know, especially through your younger years, all of those things that you're like, "Oh, you know, people think I'm shame if they hear these things."
Um, but there's another side of me that is so boring. You know, I am so boring. 'Cause I've had people recently who are like, "Oh, I'm really intimidated by you because you're an internationally touring comedian." I'm like, "Dude, I am literally putting a ... Like 5:00, I watch the 5:00 news. I'll cook some dinner. I'll have a shower.
I put a blue wife-beater..." You're not allowed to say that anymore. But you know, the Jackie Howe sheer singlet on. Um, sometimes it's one covered in paint. And then I'll put an oodie on, and I'll sit in front of the telly, and I'll watch Deal or No Deal. What a loser. So, so I think people don't realize, yeah, that, you know, people...
You know when you meet someone famous, you're like, "Ah." And then you're like, "Oh, actually you're so normal." Yeah. I'm not normal.
Well, I was gonna say, what, what is normal, right? So what is normal? So for me, I always had this, like, little bit of this crisis with this identity, and I was like, "Who am I?" Um, I especially had that when I got divorced.
Yep. I went, "Who am I outside of being a wife, outside of being a mother?" You know, I had a midlife crisis, like, in my 30s. Yeah, yeah. And um, and I went, like, "Who am I other..." And I, and I spent about a year and a half. It's the best thing for you. Oh, best thing ever.
Divorce, divorce. And a little midlife... Yeah, like, it resets you, doesn't it?
It's like, like I have to really figure out who I am- Yeah ... who, yeah, how I'm gonna work through this world.
Yeah, it's so good. And then for that, I was like, "You know what? I am a little bit crazy." "And there's nothing wrong with that." Yes. I'm not gonna be everybody's cup of tea, but I am somebody's bottle of champagne.
Yeah. You know? And, and I just got it. And, and I think, yeah, that midlife crisis or midlife awakening, as I like to call it now, and I've had a few since then, um, they're the best thing, I highly recommend them, um, is that it, it's absolutely okay. There is no such thing as normal, and there's, and there's someone for everyone, right?
Yeah. There's a brilliant movie. I was actually just thinking about it this morning. Have you ever seen the movie Mental with Toni Collette?
No, don't
think so. It's an old Australian movie, but it basically talks about... So Toni Collette is this bong-smoking, kind of, you know, hippie, really, you know, hitchhikes, and really loose kinda character.
And she moves in with this family, and the wom- um, the neighbors and everyone are all those people who are trying so hard to be socially acceptable. So they're, you know, cleaning their driveways with a toothbrush or- ... you know, not letting anyone who's culturally different in their houses. And yeah, and so it just kind of re- reframes that whole normal is actually being who you are.
Normal is, like, just let it all out, and it's all those other people who are abnormal who are trying so hard to fit a social mold that is not designed to make you feel good.
Yeah. Yeah, or this is it. You, you, you've been boxed, right?
Exactly.
And it's never gonna be enjoyable. I know for me, I was so miserable.
I
was, like- Yeah ...
so incredibly miserable trying to be something that I wasn't, and now I'm like, "This is me. Take it or leave it."
Exactly. Like,
you know?
Yeah, and I don't think it... Like, I wonder if it's just an age thing 'cause I think a lot of us kinda hit that in our late 30s into your for- 40s is like- ... "Oh, feel so free now, and if you don't like me, well, bugger off."
Like, that's, that's easy. But yeah, I think for young people especially, like, we're told to be a certain way in school. We're told... You know, our families want us to be one way. Our mates can let us be wha... You know, and it gets so confusing of who... I don't know
how to act. So tell me, how did you then become a comedian?
Because, you know, you must have lived your life a certain way, and then from there, there would've been a point where you just went, "F it. Now you're gonna, like, do this thing." Would've been a hard decision to make. I'm sure you would've had some objections along the way. Probably some internal thoughts of like, "Can I actually do this?"
Tell me a little bit about the story.
I never really planned to become a comedian. It just kind of happened. So I did a, a comedy workshop. So I used to have a, quite a professional life- ... believe it or not. Um, so I worked as a training facilitator within disability services, so working with support workers and management teams.
Um, I did a lot of work around policies and procedure development, that kind of thing, internal auditing. Like, I've had all of these different jobs. I used to teach at an international college down in Melbourne, so working with students who were coming to Australia, and part of their citizenship requirements or visa requirements was that they do these courses, um, diploma of c- community welfare, to try and get enough points to g- stay in the country.
Um, so all of those kind of jobs. I taught at TAFE for a few years as well. Public speaking, and you would know, like with the work that you do, that public speaking, that feeling that you get of like, "Oh, I'm so nervous. How am I gonna get through this?" And then you over-prepare, and then you do the thing, and after you do the thing, you're elated.
You're like, "Yes, I nailed that. That was so good." Like, "I engaged the audience," blah, blah, blah. And so after a while, I forgot-- I stopped getting that feeling of excitement with what I was doing. So I'd got so used to it, um, that I guess I wasn't out of my comfort zone at all. And so I did a comedy workshop just thinking, "I'll just see, you know, what happens."
And I thought I was just gonna perform in front of the class, you know, to the 10 people who are in the class, but it turned out we're at the Byron Bay RSL in front of 200 people. So I didn't sleep for weeks. I was so nervous. I felt sick about it. And then I did it, and that euphoric... I think I'm addicted to that feeling of just like euphoria from that, you know, that natural drug that just runs through your body.
And so I just got obsessed with it. Um, yeah, started running my own comedy. 'Cause I was traveling a lot for my day job, so to deliver training sort of all over, um, the country. And yeah, I s- because it was hard to get to open mics to do comedy in Brisbane or anywhere, I thought, "You know what? I'll just run my own and see what happens."
And so that brand, Larry Laughs Loud, was the brand. So we had a heap of, um, a heap of local comics coming through. We had a beautiful comedy community in Lismore around the Northern Rivers. So I did that for years, and then I remember a comedian telling me, "You're never gonna be ready to do a solo, so just do your solo."
And so I booked in the date before the show was written and then wrote the show and then yeah. It just all took off in a really nice, natural way, um, and a time when my kids were older, so I could, I can now travel more. You know, my youngest is 18, so I'm just finally like, I'm doing my life back to front, I think.
I was a mom since I was 21, so I've, I've done things in complete reverse than a lot of people do. But yeah, now I'm, uh, going to Canada next week. The world's my oyster. Love it. My dog died, so I'm like- Oh. I know, which is really sad- Yeah ... but it's also like that extra little bit of responsibility is gone now.
It's a whole new chapter.
Yeah, that's super exciting. So- How did you come, how did you come up with your content when you first started?
So a lot of the jokes or stories, so all of my content is based on truth. Um, and so a lot of the stories were things that I'd tell my best girl mates, and then, you know when you're just riffing and they're like, "You should've said this," or, "You could've said that," and then it just becomes this bigger story.
And so a lot of the content is that. It's just stories that I've told my mates that I love telling and laughing about, and then we just kinda add bits to it and make it, you know, even bigger and better and funnier. Mm. So yeah, a lot of the content is that. I love talking about dating, 'cause that's been a big part of my life as a single woman.
As you said, I, I went through divorce at, I don't know, maybe 32 or 34 or something. Um, yeah, and so dating was a, a big part of my life just s- you know, seeing what's out there. And then even that became almost obsessive in that going on dates made me outside my comfort zone. And I used to be really socially...
I am still quite socially awkward if I'm in the wrong situation, so even that was kind of a challenge to yourself. Like going to job interviews, just go. Just do it. Just do the thing. Um, yeah, so I was going to write a dating book called 50 First Dates. I thought I'll go on as many dates as I can and write about it.
But then, yeah, somebody actually suggested, just suggested to me, "Why don't you call your show Teardrops on My Dildo?" I was like... I, I wasn't sold on it to start with. Then the more I thought about it, I thought, "That's exactly what this is." It's kind of stories that are- Kind of tragic dating stories, but also hilarious and quite normal, you know, when you talk to other women.
It's not- nothing... Well, I was gonna say nothing that I've done is very strange. It's definitely strange. I, you know, shoved a sugar sachet up my butt for a dare. Uh, But yeah, like, I think the stories that I tell on stage have just helped normalize things for other people, other women and people who maybe live lives that were kind of undercover before.
There's a bit of a sense of freedom about it all.
So tell me a little bit about that audience then. So who, who is your ideal audience, and were you clear on that? Like, did you do the ideal audience first and then the content, or did you do the content and then go, "Right, now I'm gonna look for the ideal audience"?
Um, a lot of the content was already written, so there was things that I'd sort of done in open mics and when I'm MC-ing and stuff. I'd practiced a lot of those jokes over and over, and I'd delivered them so many times that they were just perfected. Um, and then i- once I got the title of the show, I knew that because of the title of the show, a different audience was gonna come that was not necessarily...
You know, not the people who were gonna go to open mic-type comedy. And so I knew that I could get away with a lot more, and so I tested things that were the things that I would never say at an open mic, 'cause they're too much. But the audience wants as far as I can go in that show. Like, they've heard the title.
They know I'm a bit, a bit of a loose unit and really honest. Um, and so yeah, so I pushed the boundaries with things that I could say. One thing that I did realize, though. There was a couple of things in the show, and in the new show, um, there's a joke where I mention the word rape. And when I first performed that joke, there was pullback from the audience, because I was nervous about saying it, 'cause I wasn't sure how it would be received.
But what I learned was I have to deliver everything with absolute confidence, because I believe in all of those jokes, including that one. It's not an offensive joke. It's, takes the, you know, mickey out of the abusers, not about the, you know, the, that experience. So yeah. I can't remember what your question was.
That's okay. No, it's so good. There were a couple of things there that I really like. The fact is is that you have to practice again and again with what it is that you do. You don't just show up and absolutely wing it. Um, also respecting the audience and listening and paying attention to them and how they receive things.
Uh- And then also being better in yourself, too ...
I remembered your question. So my, my audience, uh, I could see it straight away. From the people who came, I could see it's mostly... Like, my main audience is middle-aged women. Um, they're often theatergoers. So people think that the title will attract... Some people think that the title might attract, you know, a really rowdy kind of crowd.
But it's not like that. It's actually more women who like, you know, a few glasses of wine, hanging with their girl mates. R- A g- Girls, when they're together, laugh the hardest than anyone. Like, no one can laugh harder than a bunch of girls together. But I also get a lot of older men, so, um, you know, in their 60s, 70s.
I've had men in their 80s. Uh, and again, that kind of theater-going crowd. But now that the word has started to spread- More around Australia. Like, word of mouth is my best friend in this country. Um, the audiences are, are changing, they're diversifying. So younger people are coming. Um, women who have seen the show will come back and bring their male partners.
Yeah, 'cause they're like, "No, it is safe. You are actually gonna like this." Yeah. And yeah. So yeah, I think the marketing, um, the, the title and the poster and everything has done really well to get me to a certain point, but now that I'm at that certain point, I almost need to rely on everybody else to pull the others in who saw the title and weren't really sure what, you know, what that is or if it's for them.
'Cause I, I, unless somebody's a complete prude and can't break through that, the show really is for a lot more people than have seen it yet.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, as somebody who went to it, um, recently with one of my girlfriends, and actually ran into a whole bunch of my girlfriends that were there as well, um, yeah, it was absolutely hysterical.
Um, and I... There was a, a diverse range of women that I was with that night, and, and everybody enjoyed it. It was lots of fun. And I mean, I loved the, you had the deaf community that was there- Yeah ... as well. That was epic. Absolutely epic. And they had an absolute blast, so that was just honestly so good. Um, but also from what I heard, there were a few people that left.
So do people leave?
Um-
And how does that make you feel? It
actually doesn't worry me. I think it was only a couple that left. That's all, that's all I know of. Um, it doesn't worry me, because every single comedian will have people who don't like them or it's not for them, so it's, I don't find it a personal attack for me or how I'm d- performing.
That's just like, this is not content for them. It might be too far, and that's okay. Um, there's been other times, I remember somebody left a show once... W- when you first start comedy, you'll freak out about that. Somebody's left, oh my God, you know- Yeah ... blame, blame, blame. Self, you know, self-deprecating type feelings.
Um, but often it, like, it can be that it's a two-hour long show. Maybe someone's not feeling well. Maybe they've got a phone call and have to leave for something. Yeah. So you can't let yourself be distracted by that. Um, same with people's reactions. I've had people, you know, I remember one guy sitting there just like this the whole time.
Um, actually there was two guys at an island show somewhere I did. Maybe it was Bribie Island. Somewhere. Um, no, it was, what's the one near Townsville? Magnetic Island. Yeah. Anyway, these two guys, older guys, are sitting against the, the wall like this, just like this the whole time, and I'd sort of looked at them and I thought, "I'm not gonna say anything to them."
Like, they look super uncomfortable. I'm, I'm not gonna say anything. I'll just, you know, focus on performing. And then after the show they came up to me and they were like, "Oh, that was the best show we've ever seen." I said, "You didn't laugh once. I was watching you." He goes, "No, we were shitting ourselves." Yeah.
So I think there's that as well, people, like, worried about what I'm gonna say. But there's nothing in the show that... There's nothing, um, there's nothing offensive to any... I don't belittle anyone. There's no, you know, homophobic jokes. There's no trans jokes. There's none of that stuff that some comedians are doing regularly now and building a following from, and I love that about my show.
I love that a trans person can come and feel safe in my show, and walk away feeling like there was no risk to my, you know, my psychological health, wellbeing in that.
Yeah. Awesome. So a couple of things there. Firstly, um, for those of you who are listening on the podcast, you can jump onto YouTube, um, and watch it on YouTube if you wanna see Vanessa's face.
Just go, just go backwards and have a look at her face during that, that whole thing, 'cause you would've missed it on the podcast. Yeah. And then secondly, just to validate what you said, when we arrived we got tickets and we'd ta- had a bottle of wine beforehand. So we're sitting almost near the back by the time we got there, and then my girlfriends were there.
They were sitting on the front row and they had two spare seats. Well, actually, they didn't have two spare seats. They said two of their friends would prefer not to sit in the front row, 'cause the front row gets picked on. So they said they'll go to the back, and do I wanna sit then? I'm like, "Yeah, sure.
I've got no problem with it." Did
you sit at the
front? Yeah, I was in the front row. We were in the
front row. I was in the front row. I didn't... Did I- No, you- ...
engage with you? Not at all. I said nothing. '
Cause I don't pick on anyone, do I? Not really, except that lady who was talking about her hemorrhoids. Yeah.
She was hilarious.
But I did, I actually did say nothing, 'cause my, my girlfriend was like, "Oh, I'm so uncomfortable. I don't wanna sit here." And I said, "You just sit and stay, and I'm sure it'll be fine." And then, and then she said to me, "Don't say anything." So when you said, "Who is dating?" All my friends looked at me-
and said, "Put your hand down. Do not put it up." Don't, don't, don't engage. Don't
engage. Did you feel like, did you feel like
it was w- I felt safe. Yeah. I felt safe. Yeah. Yeah. I, I absolutely felt safe. I did not feel, um... At other comedy shows that I've been to, uh, there was another one, and I was sitting near the front and I got, got, like, picked on.
Yep.
And I can understand how people then don't wanna come because they're gonna get picked on. Yeah. They just want a good night out. I don't like that kind of comedy. They just don't want that. Well, that's good. For me. I mean, that's part of your brand then, right?
Yeah. And usually I can tell, so usually I can tell...
Sometimes when you're doing crowd work, you know what kind of person- Yeah ... you want or what kind of reaction you want. So even though it's crowd work, it, a lot of it is kind of, you know, you've pre-thought about it. Um, and so often I'll use men, 'cause that's fun. Like, a show that is 90% women there often, it's fun to kinda have a bit of a muck around with a man.
But if the man looks so uncomfortable, then I'll leave him alone, 'cause everyone has paid for that ticket and everyone has ha- you know, has given their time to be at your show. Like, that's such an incredible thing. You know, that's such a beautiful feeling for me. And so I don't want anyone to leave feeling like, "Oh, you know, I, I feel worse than when I walked in here."
That's not what comedy should be about. Everyone should be able to walk out of the room feeling a little bit better than they were when they got there.
Yeah. Awesome. I love that. So tell me, how do you remember what to say? Like, it's a two-hour show. I know there's an, like, an intermission in there. How on earth do you remember what to say, and is it the same all the time, or do you go with the flow?
Uh, no, it's the same all, the same structure all the time. Sometimes I'll go a little bit off track, or we might have a bit more crowd work, you know, a bit more mucking around. Um, I do have a little cheat sheet just in case I forget. Um, uh, that's a little secret, but most comedians- ... will have that there, just in case you get so far off track.
Um, sometimes if something happens in the audience that you're not ready for or somebody distracting you in some way, it's so easy to lose your, your focus. So yeah, having a little just script to go, "Okay, I know that that's where I was." Um, but the first hour, I've performed that, I don't know h- h- it'd have to be hundreds of times.
Like, I've performed it in festivals, you know, month-long festivals or two-week-long festivals, plus- Like, all the time. That's all I do is perform my solo show, so that's my, my income. So yeah, after a while it becomes like a song. You know, when you're like, "Oh, I can't remember the lyrics to that song," and as soon as the m- music starts playing you're like, "Oh, well that verse connects to that verse, connects to that verse."
So if you said to me, you know, "What's the joke that comes after that?" I won't know it, but if I can say it in order, it's just... You know when you've listened to your favorite album and then one song finishes and you know exactly what song's coming on before you even, you know, you don't even have to think about it.
Yeah. It becomes like that.
Well, you still do, you do it so naturally though. Like, um, when you do it, you still perform it. W- um, I don't know if I could do it. I think, like, if I had to say the same thing again and again and again, I might get bored and then start losing my mojo. Like, uh- Well, I
wondered that.
I remember, um, one of our comedy kind of mentors, Mandy Nolan, when we first started, I remember her sort of saying, "Oh, you know, y- you'll probably get bored of your jokes." Um, I, they're my f- I love sharing those stories. I giggle, like even after performing some of those jokes hundreds of times. Some of those jokes I would've done hundreds and hundreds of times, 'cause I was doing a lot of the same jokes when I was doing open mic.
So you just, if you've got a good joke it keeps giving. And I will still laugh which is so, so stupid. But my own jokes make me laugh still because they're memories o- of things that, you know, have been with my kids or funny things that I've done with my best mates. And so when I perform it, I'm reliving those moments again, and they're, they're the best times of my life.
You know- ... some of it. Yeah.
So let's talk about then your family and your, your clo- your close family, friends, and, like, your kids, right?
Yep.
How did they receive all of this?
Uh, my kids don't care about it. They're just like, "Eh, whatever." Like, they don't care. They're not... They just m- that's just what Mom does for work.
Anything that I say in the shows about my kids have been approved by my kids. Yeah. So I would never, if they said, "Mom, you're not to say that," then I wouldn't. Um, so that's really important. Um, but yeah, and my, my close friends, yeah, some of my mates have seen the show so many times. They're so supportive.
Some of my mates, so I grew up in, um, Central Victoria, and some of my mates down there have driven all the way to Adelaide to watch me perform my first shows at Adelaide Fringe like five years ago. Then they flew there another year. Um, they come to all my shows in Melbourne or Ballarat, yeah. So, and they, especially my two best mates from down there, they're reliving the stories that I'm telling as well.
So they're, like, squirming in their seats like, "Yes, I know what's coming," or, "That was me, that bit." Yeah. And so they love it. Yeah. So no one's, um- Most people who knew me well before I started comedy knew this side of me existed. It's the other people from my professional life that, you know, came to the show, then they're like, "Whoa, I didn't know you were like that."
'Cause I'd had that, you know, professional Vanessa face on. So yeah, but it's like an unmasking that's really freeing, but yeah, it is really exposing. But I've... I don't care. But, like, you've gotta not care about it. If you... Comedy's such a vulnerable thing to do, and people are always gonna judge you, whether they're, you know, people who know you or people who are complete strangers.
And you gotta brush that off, otherwise you'd never make it. You'd be a mess.
Yeah.
You'd be an anxious mess. Like, "What if I get judged?" You're gonna get judged. Yeah. That's what it is.
Yeah, 100%. So let's talk a little bit about your marketing then. Yep. So tell me a little bit about some of the things, 'cause you do your own marketing, which I was, you know, quite surprised by.
You do your own ads. You do your own organic, um, which I think is epic. I'll... I'm, I'm a big fan of business owners being involved in it, especially when it's your own voice- Yeah ... and it's your audience. So I'm actually be- very much a, like, I'm pro that. Um, talk to me a little bit about, like, what have you found in the marketing space, um, building your reputation online?
Um, I still don't have a huge online following. Um, I, like, I think on, I think I'm, like, maybe 8, 9,000 or something, um, which is not huge for, for somebody who's had the success that I've had with my shows. And I'm in two minds about. I use Meta Ads obviously to sell tickets, but I haven't really generated an ongoing kind of audience who's like, "Yeah, we wanna see what you're sharing all the time."
So I'm just kinda starting to think about that, knowing that that is a quick way to get, you know, to get a crowd and sell tickets. But there's another part of me that's still wary of, do my people even care about that, or do they just wanna see the live shows? So yeah, the, um, my, my, my social media tile, some people come to the show, they'll see the poster, the name of the show, the details of where the show is.
They'll click the link, buy a ticket. They'll turn up not having a clue whether it's stand-up comedy, whether it's a theater show. No idea what it is, and I love that. So, so there was another person who'd come to a show who had watched, she'd gone onto YouTube and watched. I don't have a lot of stuff on there, but she'd watched pretty much all of it.
And she said she was disappointed because she'd watched it, 'cause then she kind of knew the bits. So I'm conscious of that as well, of I don't wanna share all the bits too early. Um, but yeah, I definitely- Not need to, but want to get... I've hated being in front of cameras. Like, I'm doing okay today. But I used to hate it.
I ha- I love doing radio because you put your voice in and it goes out- ... and you never have to listen to it. Whereas if I had to edit this, I'd be like, "Oh, cringe, yuck." "Listen to your voice. Ugh." And so even talking to a camera has taken me... Like, you know, doing a, "Hey, b- I'm Vanessa Lowry Mitchell." Even that has taken me ages to be comfortable, to go, "Just don't worry about it.
Don't overthink it. Don't judge yourself." I think I... That's probably what I worry about more than other people judging me, is my self-criticism of, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah. Um, so yeah, moving through that, I think it... The other... A lot of, um, people I've spoken to recently about becoming... who have got big followings and have become big online is you gotta allow yourself to be cringey.
Be cringey, throw it up, bang it up. Yeah. Yeah. 'Cause that's what people want. Be, be yourself.
And as long as that's consistent, so I always say when it comes-
Consistently cringey.
Yeah, consistently cringey. But your personal brand is about who you are and how you show up, and that's, like, your point of difference.
Like, and you are your point of difference. Yeah, exactly. What, what makes you different, you know, from everybody else? And, and that's your juice and that's your glitter, but as long as that's consistent. When you start putting those masks on, that's when you start showing up
inconsistently- Exactly ...
because there's no passion behind it.
There's no love behind it. There's no joy behind it.
Yeah, and I've spoken about that. I used to run workshops for people about touring their solo shows. Um, and I think it's really good advice for comedians to not be scared to split the room. So I know that most of my audience is gonna love me when they come to the solo show, but when I do a lineup show and I'm just doing a 10-minute spot, there'll be- Half the audience will be like, "Mm, I'm not sure about her."
But I will gather fans. So you can be a crowd-pleasing comedian who makes everyone in the room happy, but no one's gonna follow you on socials, no one's gonna come to your solo show. You'll end up... Not that there's anything wrong with being a cruise ship comedian, but you'll sit in that, you know, in that space.
Whereas, yeah, as you say, if you're your own brand and you push yourself out there, no one can compete with what you do because you're your own product. Like, that's not... You can't mimic that.
Yeah, 100%. So I always talk about, like, in marketing, you're qualifying and you're disqualifying the right people. So if your message is clear, then it goes out and it will 100% hook and capture that person, and it'll completely disqualify the people who won't like it.
Get rid
of them. So the tea drinkers- Get rid of
them ... the tea drinkers are gone. Get
on
areas and how that works. Like some places like Mullumbimby, poster culture. You'll get posters all over the streets, and that's where people like to find their information. There's others, um, you know, other areas where Instagram is the main thing, so you've gotta kinda hit that. And I find my Facebook and Instagram markets very different.
Um, I'm trying to kind of build more of an Instagram following at the moment, but I'm still in my- the back of my mind thinking, "I think most of my audience likes Facebook." Yeah. Like, we're middle-aged women who, like, that's our thing. Um, and so kind of balancing all of that, uh, u- using all the free st- I mean, AI is...
How good's AI? Yeah. Like, it's, it's a dream. So, um, you, uh, just Google list, or enter into AI, I've been using Claude, just, you know, "Give me all the lists, free listings for, you know, Gold Coast," and then all the event listings will come up and you can just punch them all in. I'm very much, I do it all myself because by the time I ask someone to do these things, I could've just got it done.
You know? Yeah. I'm a bit late. I tried to write a list the other day of things that I've gotta get done, and as I'm writing them, I was just like, "Oh, I'll just do that now. Oh, I'll just do that now. I'll just do that now." And then I sat back down, I'm like, "Oh, that's the list done. Why was I writing this list?"
Yeah.
So we won't, um, talk to Vanessa about the creator marketing unicorn system that we do, which is about- ... getting it out of your head and into a system someone else can use.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, one day.
You're not there yet.
Not there yet. I know. Need to let go of control.
100%. I was a control freak. I would not do it.
Now I've got two virtual assistants. I had three, I've got two at the moment. Um, and I flipping love it, but I had to get over that. Like, you've gotta be... I still have control, but it's a different sense of control. Yeah. Control without micromanagement.
Yeah. Some of it I actually quite enjoy. I do too. Yeah. I quite enjoy the business side of all of this.
Um, I think because of the different job roles that I've had, I've learnt the behind-the-scenes functioning of how things can operate. Uh, yeah, and even things like using Canva or d- doing my new, my posters takes me not long at all. You know, like bang, there's a new QR code, bang, there's the title added, three different formats, bang, done.
Whack 'em into... You know? So all of that stuff I find quite good now- you know, quite easy now. Yeah. But I know that I'm at the point, um, you know, even talking about doing podcasts or writing a book and all of those things, I'm at the point now where I am gonna have to lean into some of that stuff being, you know, being, what do you call it?
Outsourced.
Delegated. Outsourced. Yeah, yep. Uh, so that I can have more time to create.
100%. '
Cause that's the, yeah, that's the spot- Yeah ... that I'm not doing much of.
And that's, that's where you come to that point where it's like, I was the same. I did everything. I loved doing it all and having that understanding, and then I was like, "Okay, I need to keep some of it, but some of it I do need to give away."
Um, and yeah, and that's how it all happened, and now I've got so much time to create and I've got my brain. I can actually focus on, like, improving myself and my strategy and everything because I now have time to do it. I'm not- Yeah ... not multi- On the fly ... multitasking 1,000 oth- other things, you know. Um, talk to me a little bit about privacy online.
Like, we know you live in Lismore, you talk about your kids, you post on social media and that. Like, have you had any, like, stalkers or?
No, I get a few slides into the inbox. Yeah. Which is, I'm grateful for. I love that. Oh, he used to be someone... My friend and I had this, uh, we just went through this phase where we thought it'd be really funny if we could try and get, uh, date a famous person, and so we'd message famous people just to say, like, "Hey, what's up?"
And we never-
So she's actually the stalker.
I know. I was the stalker. And that was before, like I just kinda dabbled in comedy, but never knew that it would be my actual career. And so now when people slide in I'll be like, "Oh, how is this creep?" Then I'm like, "Oh, wait, I was the creep." I was the creep. Um, most people are really, you know, if they go- pop into my in- inbox, they're really, you know, respectful and just- I'm a, I still love replying to people, um, but it's busy.
Yeah, yeah. Like, everything's busy to manage all of that. So, yeah, if I think... I don't e- if I've not met the person before, if... Like, I don't wanna have a deep conversation with a stranger for no reason. Like, I don't have time for that, and I have my own friendship group. Yeah. So, um, you know, if somebody messages me, I'll pretty much always message them back.
But then if it gets a bit, like, yeah, no, I'm not doing that. Like, and I think it's, I'm not gonna tell someone, "I don't have time for you." Yeah. But it's like, you will just get the hint by me not responding. Yeah. And 'cause you can't... Like, online dating's the same. Like, unless I've met you, I don't know who you are or what you're about.
You think you know me because you've seen all of this. So, you've built a picture of who you think I am, which is probably not even who I am. You know, you, what I show on social media is just one little bit of that, of who I am. So, yeah. So, if you're getting all randy over that- ... there's a whole other side to me that'll turn you right off.
But you know what I mean, it's just that false, yeah, false image that-
Of course ...
yeah, yeah. Yeah, 100%. Like I'm a hero. I'm just a dag.
Oh, that's so funny. Um, so no stalkers, no having to worry about blocking, reporting?
Uh, I will block people if they're just, "How's this?" actually.
Here we go. I wanted a story.
We're gonna get a story.
So, I posted a while... Like, I'll do every now and then- Um, sort of feminist things or things about, you know, male violence and that kind of stuff. 'Cause I get so annoyed that Australia's so quick to, you know, we judge Muslims or we ju- we judge all these groups of people when white men are the biggest threat to me, like in my- Mm
in my experience. Um, and so I'll post about things like that just to try and, you know, shift people's thinking a little bit if I can. But it's whenever I post something about things like that, all the violent men come out and, "You shut your mouth, you fat bitch." Whatever. It's like, okay. Like, there's nothing that anyone can say to me online that offends me anymore.
Like, everything's, you know, "You look like a man." Okay. Well, I look like a man then. "You're fat." Okay. That's fine. Yeah. You know, like, this is how I look. Um, s- but somebody had commented a while ago, like, they, something like, "You look like a man," or something. And so I was just like, "Okay, no problem." Like, whatever.
Um, but I recognised the, the name. It was a fake account with no profile picture. Anyway, I clicked on it and saw that somebody I knew followed it. So I messaged them and I was like, "I feel like I know this, like, you know, there's some connection." Anyway, then a, a bit later I remembered that it was a friend of mine who I've known for 30 years, um, and he had told me, about 15 years ago, he told me he was starting this account which had a ring to it that sounded like his brother-in-law, 'cause he hates his brother-in-law.
And I remember thinking, "Why would you put an account up that sounds like that's a, you know, dead giveaway clue?" But he'd obviously forgotten he'd told me and trolled me. So I think that's a thing too, like people who know you will troll you because they feel like shit themselves and they wanna make- Yeah
themselves feel powerful or whatever. So yeah, none of that, even that doesn't even worry me. Like, whatever, I'll just wipe you. That's done. You know, no problem. It's almost a compliment. Like, you know, if you're trying to bring me down, it's 'cause you think that my life is better than yours. Yeah. And it probably is, so suffer.
So yeah, and I get, um, you know, I, I was talking with another mate about this how years ago, like 10 years ago on the internet, if, if someone was trolling you or, you know, trying to bring you down, it was usually a woman. Mm. But now it's men. It's always men. So we're like, everyone needs to lay off the Karens, it's the Darrens.
The Darrens.
Yeah. Yeah. And they've always got a fake profile. They'll always have, like, 10 followers or, you know, like-
Or anonymous
or- Yeah ... it's just, yeah. So, yeah, so I block... Sometimes I'll have fun with them. Um, I do enjoy... I swear back at people. I don't even hold back. I'm, I just bang sweary, I won't say what I say, but just like- Yeah
you know, F off, F-W. Just bang. Yeah, and I don't feel s- I don't even care about that anymore. Um, yeah, one, one of the, one of the posts I did about male violence... No, it was about something to do with the Muslim shootings. Uh, but yeah, it was about like, you know, refocusing things about male violence. And I had, um, two emails come through, one from America saying, "You know, if you ever come to America, you're gonna leave with no teeth."
But then another guy who emailed something kind of similar, it had like violence in it. Um, but he hadn't changed his email address. So I grabbed the email address and Googled it just quickly, and it came up with an optometrist shop in America. Yeah. And it had his name there. His name was Derek. And so I clicked on the optometrist's shop and scrolled down, and there's Derek.
He's on the chair. So I sent an email to the whole board, like, just, "Just to let you know, we have received this email from one of, from one of our comedians." I just pretended I was, like, an agent. Yeah. It's like, yeah. I think, yeah, that sort of stuff doesn't worry me, but it's just like, what are you even, what are you...
As if you're gonna change me by- Yeah ... any of those comments. Like, oh, okay, I'll delete my account. Like, what? Idiots.
I'm gonna change my life choices now and- Yeah ... you know, I'm gonna go back to, like, you know.
Yeah, thank you for calling me a fat pig. Now I will, you know-
I'll feel better about
myself I'll no longer be a feminist.
Thank you.
You fixed me. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so you're a massive creative. Um, and- Like, how often do you need to make new jokes? Like, do you go through, like I'm curious, every single day do you come up with a joke? No?
No. I, as things... I find, uh, the time that I create is when I don't try and create.
Yeah.
So when you're daydreaming, mind-wandering, is when you will be at your creative best.
So when I go for a walk, you know, out in the, you know, in the rainforest, I will, that's when something will come to me. So I'll always carry my phone and I'll be, "Hey, Siri, make a note," and I'll just pop it in there. Um, same as when I'm going to bed, going to sleep. As I fall asleep- I'll be like, I have to be like, "Oh, this is so annoying, but if I don't write it down now I won't remember it."
You know what I mean? Like, "I'll remember that in the morning," and you never do, so you gotta write it down straight away. But I don't, because I'm touring these two shows, I don't have to create in the same way. Um, but all I did to create my second hour of content was collect all of those bits in my phone, and then I set the date that I was gonna do my second show before I wrote my second show, and then I went on a writing holiday with my mate Damien Dock.
Um, and yeah, we just spent every morning doing an hour or two. Like, he was working on his things and I worked on mine, and I got the show written in those two weeks. So I need a deadline to be able to create properly. Um, I've been doing some blog writing, so I've done a few blogs for Wild Secrets, um, an adult toy store in Victoria.
Uh, and that's been really fun. That's been really nice, 'cause I hadn't written for the page for ages. Like, writing for stage is very different- Yeah ... than writing for the page. So yeah, I've done some of those, and they're really quite personal as well. Like, stories that I'm sharing, sexual experiences that I've not shared on stage, that are not, not in any way filthy or, or wild, but they probably, um, challenge the norm of what people would, would expect a, a woman to have done.
Yeah, so that's been really fun too.
Yeah. Awesome. So if someone has a personal brand, um, and they're worried about being a little different, being a little crazy, or being outspoken, what would your words of wisdom to them be?
Lean into it. You've gotta lean into it. I think that's what people want. They want that extension of yourself that is, uh, the most outrageous in some ways.
Um, and you've got to, you've gotta push that as, not as far as you can, but as far as your, is true to yourself still. Um, I think when people modify themselves to suit audiences, you're selling yourself out. I got signed by a cruise ship agent years ago, and I've not performed on a cruise ship yet because I have to do at least 30 minutes or two 30-minute spots of clean comedy.
Uh, and I don't do clean comedy. Like, I can-
Yeah ...
but it's not where my heart is because that's not the stuff generally that I laugh at off stage. Like, I've not... I don't think I've sworn. Maybe a couple of little have slipped in. But it, you know, I swear when I'm chatting with mates all the time, it's just part of the language I use when I'm being my n- completely natural self.
And so yeah, you've go- you've gotta stick to what's you... 'Cause g- I guess for me, comedy is not just about the audience. Comedy's been a cathartic process for me- Yeah ... of healing and, you know, accepting myself and who I am and, and not being ashamed of things that I've done. So yeah, I think lean into whatever it is that makes you you and makes you unique, but don't sell yourself out by doing that.
Awesome. And I think when it comes to personal brand as well, I think it's very, very important that you take care of your nervous system, that you take care of yourself, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with rejection, and that could be your self-talk yourself. So you've gotta make sure that you're also looking after yourself as well.
Um, and of course, like Vanessa said, lean in. Um, so when it comes to... I mean, it, know lots of people must ask you this all the time, right? Okay. Tell me a joke.
Nah. No. Come on. No. That's the- Tell me No. Everyone must
do that.
No. No. You're a comedian. No. Tell me a joke. No. No, I will not tell you a joke. So why did...
I s- saw someone on a morning show or whatever, who, um, like his PR person had got him this thing on a, you know, a morning television show, and he's doing the interview, and then they said to... And they did, and it was just like, oh, no. Don't ever tell them a joke. You can't. It doesn't work like that. Same with at parties.
Like, if everyone's drinking and people are like, "Yeah, do, tell us some jokes." Don't tell them any jokes. It doesn't... It's different. Uh, and my jokes aren't like, you know, how's the one about... You know. Yeah. It's not like that. Yeah, so-
So what is your favorite joke then?
Uh, oh, in my shows? If you know just a favorite joke that you like or you laugh at or...
I don't think I have a favorite joke. My son makes me laugh harder than anyone. Like, he just says funny things all the time, just really quick. It was just in the car the other day and he said something about... I said something about, "Don't put your, don't put your eggs in all in one basket." And he was like, "Ha, I won't put me eggs all in one chicken."
Like, just stupid little things like that, little word plays and stuff I love. Yeah. Yeah, he cracks me up all the time just with dumb stuff.
Yeah. That's cool. And yeah, it doesn't have to be that serious.
Yeah. It's good. Yeah. We laugh a lot in our house. We've always laughed a lot. Yeah, which is nice. I, I, yeah.
Do you ever get down?
Ah, not for long. I get overwhelmed, but I don't get... My son actually mentioned to me a while ago, like, "Mum, you're, you know, you're always bloody happy." Like, almost like it was annoying. But I think being single is an easy way to stay happy. I think when you've got nobody in your life, I'm very good now at setting boundaries, and if somebody does not add value to my life- Mm
I get rid of them, and I don't feel bad about that at all. I think people think I'm ruthless, which I am a bit. But I'm like, "Doop, see you later," and I don't look back. So I'm somebody who, I mean, I could easily sit and get very sad if I looked back too far and reflected on everything. But I'm always just like, you know what?
There's so much good stuff here and here today, you know, that that's where my vision always stays.
Do you ever get post-show blues? 'Cause I know, like, whenever I present and I travel and I present, there's a lot of attention, there's a lot of people, a lot of interactions, and I am an extroverted, smiley, chat-to-everyone kind of person.
But I can come back afterwards and for the next sort of 24 hours, I can f- just need some alone time, and I can be a little bit teary or just need, like, ice cream and Netflix. Yeah. You
know? I definitely, uh, need a lot of time alone. I'm an extrovert introvert, yeah, where I, you know, wah, bleh. And then I'm like, okay, I can't even go to the supermarket unless I know no one's gonna be around, like an old time, you know.
Um, I w- don't wanna talk on the phone. Like, my dad knows, don't talk to me while I'm away. Don't talk to me for the first one or two days when I'm back, and then I'll be good to go. I just need a reset. Um, what was the other part of your question? I was gonna say something else. Yeah,
just post, post-show blues.
Oh, d- festivals I find really hard. So festivals, I used to deliver mental health first aid training, so we'd talk about, you know, ba- this is baseline. And so when you're at a show, you go up. After a show, like you are so elated after the show, and then in the morning, yeah, you're down 'cause you're tired, your energy levels drop.
Then you've gotta get ready for another show. Yeah. But you kind of, you, then you go, so you keep going past baseline. Then you come back below it. And so by the end of, Edinburgh w- was a nightmare on my nervous system because you actually don't sit at baseline for a whole month, 'cause you're either up here or you're down here.
So yeah, it's a lot of work on your body. Um, I, y- I just need a lot of, I sleep a lot when I'm doing festivals, so I make sure I have a nap- Nap and a wank. Uh, it's a routine. Uh, yeah, you've g- you've gotta really manage that stuff. I think people, because when you're an extrovert on stage, they think that you're just gonna wanna party and have, you know, have wild times.
But festivals, it's bed by midnight at the latest rule, which is hard. If you finish at 10:00, you go for knock-off drinks with your mates. But yeah, bed by 10:00. B- uh, sorry, bed by midnight. Um, go for big walks, drink lots of water. Yeah, all of those simple mental health things. Eating really good food is important for me when I'm away touring like that as well.
Just, yeah, to keep all the other parts of your f- you know, your system, your mechanics working properly.
Yeah, no, that's so good to share that because everyone thinks, "Oh, it looks so amazing," or whatever, and I'm like, it actually takes a lot of- It's tiring ... regulation and self-awareness and, and it is, like you said, you go through the baseline, so.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's hectic. Well, it has been an absolute pleasure having you- Thank you ... on the show today, and I'm sure that many of the audience have learnt a little bit more about you. How can they connect with you, follow, and follow you?
Yeah, so I'm Vanessa Larry Mitchell on Facebook. I'm larrylaughsloud on Instagram, or my website is vanessalarrymitchell.com, and you s- can subscribe on there and sign up to the mailing list.
Yeah, that'll be epic. Um, thanks so much again for being here. You're
welcome.
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No, be you. It's okay. Um, thank you so much again for being here today.
You're welcome. Thank you. See
you.
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